A/N:

Ohey, I'm lorxene, and this is my first Fanfiction xD Sooo…I know it'll kind of suck. I'm sorry if things moved too fast…My stories kinda get like that ; u ;

Warnings: Uhmm… There's no sex in this…Just some kissing. o u o Oh, And curse words |D

Let me know how it is? And please tell me if it moved too fast. Man I have such a problem with that. OTL I just love drama, y'know? |D/slapped

"…Dammit. I can't do it…Shit..!...Why?.."

He sat there in the mud. Repeating only "why" over and over. America felt a tight pain in his chest, staring down at the once empire. Now seeming so small. He didn't want to leave England, but at the same time, he wanted his freedom. He couldn't be smothered and controlled by England any longer. He wished there was another way, but alas, What was done is done. He had his victory and he was free. All that he could say was "…What happened..? You used to be…So big.."

With that he turned and began walking away. The sound of his former caretakers sobs ringing through his head. A part of him wanted to turn around and hug the crying nation. But he stuck with his resolve and continued forward. He couldn't depend on England anymore. And he didn't plan on it.

"..You're just going to leave me here..?" England screamed.

America froze, in shock of what England had said. Yet, he didn't turn around. He clenched his fists. "..I'm sorry.." He spoke softly before walking away. England watched his former colony walk away. Never taking his eyes off him until he was out of site. He stood up with a scowl on his face, wiped his tears , and spoke in a spiteful tone. " I see how it is then…I can manage by myself. I never needed you." And with that, he turned and walked back towards his home. Bearing a new mix of feelings towards America.

England walked slowly into his house, sodding wet. Yet, he could've cared less whether his floors were wet or not at the moment. He looked around his once warm house. It was so cold, so unwelcoming. He almost felt as if he shouldn't be there. He plopped himself on the nearest piece of furniture and began undressing. Not even bothering to open his eyes. He curled into the love-seat he sat on and fell asleep, tears still stinging the corner of his eyes.

It had been a couple of weeks when England received a letter in the mail. It was from America. It looked at the envelope with disgust, and threw it on the ground. Not even caring of it's contents. After more time passed, he kept getting letters. All from his former-colony. And every one he ignored. It was really getting annoying, and he didn't have a reason to speak with the ungrateful nation anyway. He even thought of throwing the bundle of them into his fireplace, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He just threw them into his closet and let them collect dust. He sat down at his table, with his newspaper and tea in hand, when he heard a knock. Half-resisting the urge to ignore whoever it was that was bothering him, but got up anyway. He put his hand to the handle hesitantly, hoping it wasn't America…

But, instead, it was someone even worse. "..Ugh…What do you want, wanker?" England spat, annoyed even to see his face. " Ohh…Mon cher Anglettere, why do you treat me with such cruelty? And after I went through all the trouble of seeing how you are." England shot him a distained look " See how I'm doing, eh? Like you give a damn, you frog! If I recall, you're helped America become independent!"

France looked at England feigning being hurt. " Ah, but you were suffocating ze poor boy. He needed to grow, to expand." England scoffed. "…Expand my ass. Go away, France. You're the last person I want to see." England tried closing his door, but France stuck his foot in, stopping the shut-out. " You need to get over zis, Anglettere. What's done is done. And you must move on, mon ami." England just turned and didn't respond.

He clenched his fists, and mumbled softly. "…I am moving on…Just..I need to be alone for awhile. Please." France didn't wait to be pushed or hit by his frenemy. He removed his foot from the door, and took a deep sigh. " Do not wait too long, mon ami. You can't let zis affect you forever." He turned knowing he wouldn't get a response and began walking away. England tightly closed his door. Holding on to it like a life-line, tears streaming down his face. "…You fucking, wanker..! I hate you.. I hate, I hate you.!" He sobbed a few times before sliding down the hardwood door and taking breaths to calm himself.

He walked down the halls nearing a room full of foreign accents. It was another Country meeting. He entered the room silently while the other countries chatted and fought. He pulled up a chair at the farthest end of the table, in an attempt to stay away from anybody. Unfortunatly his plan didn't work when Japan and France walked over to him. " Konichiwa, Igirisu-san. How are you?" Japan said quietly, almost not heard under the ruckus. " Oh, Hello, Japan. I'm fine. "He replied, not really looking at the country.

"That's good to hear. May I sit down next to you?" He questioned softly.

"Be my guest."

"Arigato"

France took a seat on England's other side, not bothering to ask, since he knew he'd tell him no. England glared at France for a second, the French nation just smiled in return and waved , making England give up. He wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

But all fell silent when America walked into the room. " What's up, guys! The hero's here, so we can start now!" England scoffed, and muttered something like '..thinks the world revolves around him..' under his breath. He didn't even look at America. He just placed his head on his hand and stared into space the whole meeting. Barely paying attention to anything that was said. But he could feel America eyes burning into him. He felt awkward. He shifted a bit, hoping to lose the younger nations glare. It didn't work. He knew that by the end of this meeting, he had to get out fast, and with the group, so that he wasn't stuck with America, alone.

With a few more presentations, and lots of complaints. The meeting was over, and everyone scattered out the room. England quickly tried to rush out with the mob of countries trying to get through the door, but was pushed back into the room by a hand. He looked up and saw France. Who waved at him with a wink. ' That bloody wanker!' England clenched his jaw. He hoped maybe America had left with the crowd anyway. But turned around and saw him putting his files together, absentmindedly. England internally facepalmed and gulped. He was still furious at could even say he hated him. So, why was he so scared? All he had to do was ignore him and leave. Yes, that's it. It was that simple…

.The door way was finally free and he almost made it out when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't bother turning around. "…England.." He felt dirty, just by hearing him say his name. He smacked the hand off his shoulder and began walking briskly. Much to his annoyance, the footsteps followed him. "England, please, listen to me!" America cried from behind him.

Oh, He would have none of that. He turned around sharply, startling the younger nation a bit. " listen to you, you say? Why in the bloody hell would I want to listen to anything you have to say? I hate you! You leave me, and then expect things to be alright again? How much of a self centered dolt can you be! Don't you dare talk to me again." America's expression was priceless. It made England feel a little better, knowing he had caused him some pain. But the moment was short lived, as he turned to walk away. Leaving the country to stare at his fading back, as America had done to him.

Which also didn't last long when America ran up behind him again. " England, please! I'm begging you, just listen to me! I'm sorry!" England didn't respond. He didn't even stop. He didn't need America's apology. He didn't want America's apology. What he did had broken England's heart. And it wasn't going to be repaired, anytime soon.

America stood in the hallway. Feeling dejected. His fine lined brows furrowed and he began weeping, falling to his knees. "England…England..I'm sorry…" He wept in the hallway for a few more moments. Trying to calm himself down. Maybe becoming independent wasn't what he wanted…He shook off the thought. Of course he wanted to be independent. But, he didn't want to lose England. He loved England. He heard voices and quickly got up from the floor, wiping his tears. " Ah, Amerika-san. You're still here? Your eyes are red, are you alright?"

"Ah, yea. I'm fine! Of course I am, I'm the hero!" Japan wasn't buying it. " Is it…Igirisu-san?" America stiffend. Giving Japan all the comfirmation he needed. " Do not worry, Amerika-san. I am sure he will come around." America burst back into tears, startling Japan. He grabbed Japan into a hug, which was a little un-comfortable for the shorter country. But none the less he pated the crying nations head. " B-but he said…He hated me..! He wont even…Let me talk to him…Anymore.." He said between sobs and hiccups. Getting Japans uniform very un-comfortably wet." Like I said. Do not worry, Igirisu-san is a Tsundere, he just needs a little more time, and some more pushing. I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

America backed away with a confused look on his face." What's a tsundere…?" Japan giggled and shook his head. " It does not matter- just give him more time, alright?" Looking down, the taller nation nodded, and let go of the Asian country. " Sorry for burstin' out on ya like that, man!" He laughed obnoxiously and scratched the back of his head. " Ah, and thanks, bro." His grin beamed. " It is nothing. And you are welcome." Japan said with slightly pink cheeks. America had that effect on everyone.

As the two nations said goodbyes and went their separate ways, America felt new hope, and grinned to himself. "Looks like this is a challenge fit for a hero…!" He said to himself. " I wont back down." He added, more seriously.

It was morning. And England's head was pounding. And, no. It wasn't from drinking. He refused to let drinking fix his problems…Or make them worse. He debated whether to get out of bed or not, until his phone rang. "Blast it all…so early in the morning…'' He grogilly got out of bed, and made his way over to his phone.

"…Hello..?"

" Anglettere! Are you coming to the meeting or not? It's already started!" England was fully awake and already stumbling around to find clothes. " Shit..! I completely forgot we had another meeting today!"

" Yes, well. You must hurry up, mon ami. I don't think Germany will wait much longer…"

"Alright, alright! I'm coming as fast as I can!" France giggled " Oh, stop being so immature, you tosser!" He hung up the phone, not waiting for a reply, and stumbled downstairs and straight into his car. Not even stopping for breakfast.

With the opening of the door, walked in England. Panting and fixing his tie. All the countries stopped their bickering, as England went to take a seat. He tried to find a seat near the end of the table. But they were all taken. The only seat open was… 'Oh god…' England thought. It was right next to America. Wonderful. As he walked across the room he glared at France, guessing he was the cause of it. France just winked and smiled, making England scowl. He hesitantly pulled the seat back and sat down, turning his back towards the younger country and resting his face on his hands. It felt like the meeting was taking forever. And the whole time, England could hear America chewing and slurping away at the garbage he called food. Making England scrunch his face up in disgust.

All of a sudden, England's stomach growled. Making him remember that he hadn't had any breakfast that morning in his rush to get out. He only hoped no one heard it, over the current presenter, which sounded like China from the accent. His stomach growled again, demanding food. ' Shut up, stomach! I shall feed you later!' England thought to his…Stomach. America had noticed the growls, knowing it all too well. He traced it back to the blond sitting next to him. He wondered for a minute about whether he'd eaten anything today, and if he should give him one of his burgers.

He slid one of the greasy circles towards England. " Here. Sounds like you're hungry." England didn't respond. Or look over. " C'mon. There's no point in starving, bro." England slowly turned his back, but still didn't look at the younger nation. Instead he stared at the burger sitting infront of him. He frowned at it. How he hated these greasy circles of death and obesity. Of course he wasn't going to eat this. He has his pride too. He pushed it gently, -trying his best not to touch it- back towards America. " I don't want your disgusting garbage." He said coldly and turned back around. America sighed and push it back slightly, leaving it there. Just incase England might want it.

The meeting ended without anymore interruptions, except Germany to smack Italy around a bit. And Russia asking more people to ' become one with mother Russia.' England tried to slip out of the room once again, fearing the same would happen as it did yesterday. But, nothing happened. He made it out of the room, and went down the hallway. Until…He heard footsteps. ' For the love of everything, please don't let it be America again..'

" Igirisu-san! Please, wait!" The shorter nation huffed behind him. England turned around with a worried look on his face. Concerned about the urgency in Japans voice. "What is it, Japan? Is something wrong?" Japan put his hands on his knees, taking in a couple breaths before he began talking again. " There is nothing wrong, I just needed to talk to you about something…" England shrugged. "Alright, then." Japan grabbed England's shoulder and started walking towards the outer garden. " Let us talk else where. The hallway isn't an appropriate place." England nodded and followed him into the gardens.

They were beautiful. England never really looked around this place very much. There were vines crawling up the side of the stone building, roses and other exotic flowers grew in the flower pots. There was a small koi pond with a fountain on it. Centering a stone path that had wooden benches to sit on. He almost could've sworn there were faeries running around. As he and Japan sat down, he inhaled the smell of the flowers. " This place is remarkably beautiful.." England stated " It is. It is why I liked coming here…But more importantly…" He trailed off. " About Amerika-san." England stiffened. His eyes darted down towards the stony path beneath him. " I think maybe, you should give him another chance. He would really like to apologize."

"I don't want his apology!" England shot back. Clenching his fists. " I don't want anymore to do with him, I hate him." He added. Sounding more pained as he went on. " I taught that boy everything I know! I've shown him love, and gave him food. And this is how he repays me? By leaving me?" He felt the sting of tears in the corner of his eye, but tried to supress it. " I understand. But you must understand the pain that Amerika-san is going through as well." Fury shot through England. He felt his face getting hot and his teeth hurt from clenching. " Pain? America, going through pain? Don't make me laugh! Like I give a flying bloody fuck about America's pain. This was his decision. He. Chose. This. And I'm not about to sit here and forgive him like some whipped dog!"

Japan stared, unfazed at Englands outburst. He didn't know what to say, though. Japan wasn't one who understand anger very well, since he never got angry. England sighed. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burst out at you like that…."

" It is fine, Igirisu-san. But, I have another question, if you do not mind my asking."

" What is it?"

" Do you love Amerika-san?"

England froze. He didn't know how to react. It was as if his mind shut down. All he could do was stare blankly at the koi pond, searching for an answer. As he racked his mind, Japan sat silently, waiting for his response. "I.." He began. "I'm not sure…I'm sorry, Japan. I need some time to think." England got up and walked towards the exit. Still unsure of how he should be feeling. Did he love America? 'No, no. Of course not!' He shook his head. ' That bloody git left me there. Of course I hate him…' He needed more time to think about this. And now that the meetings were over for awhile, he could do so in the privacy of his home. Hopefully without interruptions.

It had only been a couple of days of peace and quiet before England heard a knock on his door. He walked over to his door, -leaving his tea on the table- and opened it. It was America. The last person he wanted to see. He stared for a moment, before trying to slam the door shut.

A hand and foot stopped the door from closing. " Wait, wait! England, please, bro. Let me in" England tried closing the door harder. " No! I told you to get the bloody hell away from me!" His attempts to move the younger nation's hands and feet were to no prevail seeing as the force of the door had no effect on him. He pushed harder and flung the door open, sending England flying a bit back. " I need to talk to you." He said in a stern voice, that almost shook England, not used to hearing it like that. But he stood his ground. "And I need you to get the bloody hell out of my house. Now! You don't belong here anymore." England scowled in an attempt to scare off the taller nation.

America seemingly ignored what England said, and began talking anyway. " Listen…I'm…Really sorry for what I did to you, England…I didn't want to leave you, especially not like that. But you gave me no choice!" England scoffed, already feeling the anger burning inside him. " I gave you a choice. A choice to stay with me, or to go. And you chose to leave me in the mud, crying, America of the United States." Every words pouring out of his mouth with hate and anger seeping into them. America furrowed his eyebrows, looking pained. "….Please England. I miss you, and I don't want to lose you! I love you, for fuck sakes!"

England's face twisted with a mix of shock and hatred. ' I wont give in to his lies so easily. He will not turn me around like that!'

" I've had enough of your lies, America. Honestly, they hurt me too much.."

" I'm not lying." He said in a resolute voice. " I love you." He repeated, moving towards England. ' Oh, no, no, no you don't!' England started backing away. " Piss off, America! I'm serious. Get the hell away from me!" America reached his hands out to grab England. " I love you. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me, I still need you with me." England pushed furiously against America's hug. Wriggling and pulling and pushing. But the taller nation did not falter. Instead, he just held England tighter. " G-get off me..America…! Let me fucking go you git! I swear to all that's holy I will bite you, if I have to." America didn't move. He just squished his head into England's chest and closed his eyes, preparing for the bite. England made a noise that sounded almost like a growl, and he bit down on America's shoulder. " Put me down. Now!" Screamed England. "I wont let you go. Not until you forgive me." England felt wet warmth against his chest and he stopped all movement. America was crying. Infront of him.

" A-America…Let go now…" His own voice shaking a little. It was less angry and intense. " I don't want to! I don't want to ever let you go! I don't want you to ignore me, and I don't want you to hate me. I want you to love me!" He cried, face buried in England's chest. England sputtered. " Y-you're just being childish, America! Don't be so selfish! This was your choice…" He could feel his eyes starting to water.

He wanted to wipe them so the younger nation couldn't see, but his hands were being held in America's embrace. " I don't care…I just want England to forgive me. Please." He really did sound like a child. Making England remember the days when he took care of him when he was still a colony. He couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He knelt into the hugged and cried into America's hair. Letting big sobs escaped his lips, not caring since the younger nation was doing the same.

After what seemed like forever, they had both finally calmed down. And sat in Englands living room. The tension was thick as neither of the countries knew what to say. America being lost for words, at Englands crying. And England being too stubborn to start a conversation.

England finally decided to break the silence as he cleared his throat, which was sore from all the sobbing. "…W- would you like some tea…Or coffee? For your throat..?" He didn't look at America, though. " …That'd be great, thanks!" America's voice was hoarse and raspy, and England could tell it was fake enthusiasm. He rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. Noticing his old cup of tea on the table, frowning at how it was cold now. He made his way over to the counter to get the kettle going. America watched him from the living room. He could barely make out what to do in this situation. He had rushed over to Englands, spur of the moment, without any plan. And now he was paying for it, although he was happy England hadn't kicked him out. He smiled at the last thought and sank deeper into the couch. Laying his arms over the top of it. " Oh, sit properly, will you!" England scolded as he came in. " Heh, sorry, man. I forgot." He took his arms off and sat up straight, hoping to get no more sitting complaints. "You'd think after all I've taught you, you'd know how to sit properly…" England mumbled. America heard, but chose not to respond. In fear of setting of the hot headed older nation.

England went back into his kitchen when he heard the kettle going off. Leaving America to his own devices again. As England entered the kitchen, he racked his brain for some kind of answer as to what he should do now. He obviously wasn't as mad at America as he had thought. But he would seem like a fool if he just apologized now...He trailed off while pouring the water. " Bollocks!" He screamed, as he held his hand.

He was too lost in thought and burned his hand. America jumped off the couch and ran to England. " England! You ok?" He said, concern and worry in his voice. " I'm fine. I just burnt hand with the water is all." He held his hand and tried to hold back the pain growing in his hand. " Hey! I heard the perfect thing for burns!" He quickly grabbed Englands hand and began sucking on the fingers. Englands face practically exploded red, and he tried yanking his hand away. " A-A-A-America! W-what are you doing..?"

He could feel Americas tongue wrapping through his fingers. Admittedly, it did make his burn less painful. " umf shuking on yoar f'ngurs." He replied, his face a light shade of pink. Making England blush even more. " Y-yes, I can see that. But you can stop now." With one last lick, America pulled away. A strand of spit still connected between his mouth and Englands fingers. Making the older nation shudder. " So, how does your hand feel?"

The younger asked with a grin on his face. England tried hiding his blush by turning his head. ( It didn't work) " It hurts even more, you git. Don't you know sucking on someone's fingers makes the burn worse?"He took pulled his hand away and he went over to the sink and washed it under cold water. "Heh, guess i got it wrong, sorry..." America replied softly.

The blush on his cheeks didn't even have time to disappear before it was revived by America hugging him from behind. " England…" He whispered into his ear. " I love you." The words made him shudder. He turned around in America's grasp. " A-america… I-" He was cut off my a clash of their lips. Englands eyes widened and his face flushed. He pulled his head back, breaking the kiss for air. "Y-you can't…America. We can't…I raised you. This isn't right!" America just stared at him. "Why do you think I wanted independence?" England froze. He blinked a few times before turning his head, to look at the country.

"You're…Telling me, you became independent…To be with me?..." America nodded his head, as if he was proud. England scoffed. " You bleeding dolt!" He smacked America's head. Making America wince slightly. " That is quite possibly the most idiotic excuse I've ever heard! Leaving someone to be with them…" He facepalmed. "I can't believe you" He muttered.

He lifted his face with a small smile. " You're a complete idiot, I hope you know." America smiled back brightly. " I know." He brought England into another kiss.

A/N

…Well. I don't really like the ending, but whatever xD This story was pretty long, actually. The longest I've ever written! 8D I think this didn't satisfy my angst craving, since it had a happy ending. :I I'll be sure to do one where England goes insane and /coughdiescough Maybe? BD

DO THE REVIEW THINGY! 8D I need to know if this is complete rubbish or not. ; v ;