Authors Note: Just a short fun little one-shot I started a while back. I began it after the episode where Danny and Grace go swimming in the Hilton pool. I don't remember which episode it was so I do apologize to anyone who hasn't seen that episode yet. Not really any major spoilers, just a mention really of that scene. Anyway, I found it while working on my next chapter of Among the Wreckage and Discoveries Made and decided to finish it.
Hope you enjoy!
Birds Do It, Bees Do It
"Come on Danny, breathe...you're okay, just breathe." Steve pleaded as he gripped Danny's shoulder.
"Can't..." Danny gasped.
"You can, come on...in and out...nice and easy."
"What the hell is going on?" Kono's voice echoed in the room as she raced into the bullpen with Chin.
"Having...a...heart...attack..." Danny could barely get the words out as he raised wide panicked eyes in Kono's direction.
"I'll call an ambulance..." Chin took out his phone.
"You're not having a heart attack..." Steve attempted once again as he leaned into Danny's personal space, trying to maintain eye contact.
"...he's not having a heart attack. He doesn't need an ambulance." He directed towards the rest of the team.
"What...the...hell...do...you...know?" Danny clawed at his chest, resulting in Steve gripping his hand and pulling in down.
"Steve, it looks like he might be." Kono tried.
"He's not, he may give himself one though if he doesn't calm the hell down." That earned him a glare from his hyperventilating partner.
"It's an anxiety attack..."
"Is..not.."
"It is..."
"Maybe you shouldn't argue with a man who can't breathe, just sayin." Kono's statement earned her a glare from her boss. She shrugged innocently.
"Why would he be having a panic attack?" Chin stepped in, having dropped the call for an ambulance.
"Not a...panic attack..." Danny insisted.
"Well, Grace brought up a somewhat sensitive topic in the car on the way to school." Danny narrowed his eyes at Steve, scolding him for even bringing it up again. His breathing had begun to slow, heading towards normalcy.
"That's it, see. You're doin much better. Deep breathes." Steve's words were an attempt at soothing as he knelt in front of his friend, Danny didn't see them as such.
"Shove it...up your ass...McGarrett."
"What was the topic?" Kono asked curiously, pulling a chair up next to Danny's, laying a comforting hand on his back as he crouched over.
"Don't..." Danny's glare and attempt to keep Steve quiet went completely by the wayside.
"Sex." Steve stated matter of factly, looking far too amused for Danny's liking.
Danny's breathing immediately hitched and sped up again at the word. He let out a pained moan and leaned forward even further.
"Oh.." Kono couldn't hide the smirk on her face and almost lost it when she looked at Steve was was trying just as hard to keep it together.
"I'm glad...my pain...is funny...to both...of you..."
"Has he been like this the whole time?" Danny could have kissed Chin, the only one who appeared to be concerned about the fact that he couldn't breathe.
"No, first he sorta went catatonic. The freakout didn't happen until we got here."
"Not a freak...out...heart...attack..."
Steve took a second to get a good look at his friend. Danny was hunched over, eyes squeezed tight. The hand Steve had been holding down was now back at his chest, clawing at the buttons. A fine sheen of sweat glazed his pale forehead as he gasped for air. Steve had a moment of panic, a flashing glimpse of Danny in the same position merely months ago after his Sarin exposure had him thinking he may have been wrong about the whole panic attack thing.
"...asshole." Danny added. So maybe Steve wasn't wrong. Even so, his partner was not in a good state and regardless of his amusement of the whole situation Steve was concerned.
"I'm sorry, it's not funny. You have to calm down though, please Danno..." Steve realized his mistake when Danny whimpered pitifully at the use of Grace's nickname. reminding him of why he was in the state he was. "...sorry, sorry...no Danno. Seriously though, you're gonna make yourself pass out if you don't get your breathing under control. Come on man, just calm down. Please."
Danny made eye contact with his partner and found genuine concern. He focused on Steve's surprisingly soothing voice and striking features. He continued to take deep breaths as he was instructed and a few minutes later his breathing had slowed to normal.
"You good?" Danny nodded as he leaned back in his chair and accepted a bottle of water from Chin.
"I don't understand, I mean Rachel was pregnant for nine months, Grace never asked about that? About where babies come from and all?"
"Of course she did."
"And? What did you tell her?"
"What all good parents tell their kids..." Three sets of questioning eyes fell on Danny, who shrugged as if the answer was obvious. "...the baby is brought by the stork."
Steve chuckled and shook his head as he settled into a nearby chair.
"Not to meddle or anything brah, but don't you think you should tell her something resembling the truth?"
Danny shot Kono a look that could have taken down a 500lb gorilla.
"She's ten Kono...TEN! What in the hell is she doing asking about sex anyway?"
"Curiosity?" Kono pitched, followed by Chin.
"Something she saw on TV?"
"Friends?" Steve should have known better, he really should have. Especially after the way Danny compared a 10 year old kid to Ted Bundy, that suggesting her friends might be influencing his baby was a bad move.
Danny jumped from his seat and began pacing. "It's that kid, that little bas..."
"What kid?" Kono inquired.
"That kid from the pool, the stalker." He directed at Steve, although Steve didn't need the reminder.
"Grace has a stalker?" Bless Kono and her little protective heart, she looked ready to kill, it almost made Danny smile.
"He's not a stalker, he's ten. Danny calm down." Steve's defense of the little hedonist earned him a hard glare.
"No, no, I will not calm down. My sweet, innocent, perfect child has been corrupted by a mini Charles Manson. Don't you roll your eyes at me McGarrett, it's true and you know it. Why don't you care? Huh? Kono looks ready to get a her sniper rifle out and you're making a joke out of this."
"I'm not trying to make a joke Danny, I'm trying to stop you from giving yourself a damn stroke! And would you stop pacing? Stop!" Steve grabbed his arm as he passed by, pulling him to a halt.
"Have you met me? Don't you know that trying to stifle my rant is like putting a cork in Old Faithful?" Yanking his arm from Steve's grasp he resumed his path of pacing.
"Old Faithful Danny?" Steve quirked an eyebrow.
"Yeah, ya know that geyser thing in Jellystone Park"
"Where Yogi and BooBoo live?" Kono asked, clearly confused.
"I think you mean Yellowstone brah" Chin contributed absentmindedly as he played with the tech table.
"Tomato, tomotto" Danny waved dismissively. "Stop changing the subject!" He spun on Steve pointing a finger in his face before falling defeatedly into a chair.
"My baby Steven, seems like just yesterday when she was taking naps on my chest and learning to walk and talk. First word was Danno, did you know that?"
Steve felt his heart break just a little at his friends nostalgic tone and tear filled eyes.
"Danno, so innocent. When did words like 'sex' become part of her vocabulary?" He spat, as if disgusted by the word.
"I hate to say it Danno.." Grace's nickname once again eared Steve a look, this time though is was sad and wistful. "...sorry"
"No, it's okay. If she's not gonna call me that anymore then you might as well." Danny sighed with a shrug and slumped further into his seat.
Sensing this should be a private moment between two best friends, Kono followed Chin's lead and made herself busy. Steve crouched down beside Danny and lay a strong hand on his shoulder.
"Danny, you're always gonna be Grace's Danno." Steve's stomach clenched at the pitiful frown marring Danny's face.
"I guess. She's just growing up so fast, I'm not ready for it to end."
"Nothing is ending Danny, she's always gonna need you no matter how old she is."
"Sex Steve? Yesterday it was American Girl dolls and Barbies. Now it's lip gloss, Justin Beaver and sex." The word sex was muffled by his hands covering his face.
"Bieber" Kono contributed.
"What?"
"Justin Bieber, you said Beaver. And Grace isn't the only girl in love with the kid, he's got panties dropping all over the pl..."
Danny's horrified look and Steve's stern glare stopped her dead in her tracks. The damage had been done, Danny's breathing picked up speed again and he groaned pitifully.
"What? Just sayin" Kono shrugged innocently and went back to her pretend work.
"Danny, listen.." Steve squeezed his shoulder, taking the attention of the mention of panty dropping. "...maybe it's time you and Rachel sat down and talked about this with Grace. She's better off hearing it from you before outside influences fill her head with a bunch of crap."
Steve waited patiently while Danny seemed to contemplate his suggestion.
"Yeah, I mean don't let this go to your head or anything but, you're probably right. I'll call Rachel and we'll figure out how to approach it."
"Good, no more freak outs, no hyperventilating?"
"I can't make any promises, but I'll try to not let it happen in front of her. She needs to think her Danno is cool calm and collected. And in the meantime I'm putting a tail on the Ted Bundy kid and seeing just what he's up to."
Steve shook his head laughing as he stood back up.
"You do that Danno"
"Hey, ya know Danny, you really have nothing to worry about" Kono chimed back in.
"No?"
"Nah, I was about Grace's age when I asked my mom about sex and look how I turned out."
Three sets of eyes locked on Kono.
"Oh God!" Danny moaned.
"What? At least she's not asking about blow jobs!"
"Kono!" Steve and Chin voices echoed in time with Danny's "Oh God!"
Steve's only thought as he rushed back to his once again hyperventilating partner was that they were gonna need a heavy supply of brown paper bags to get Danny through Grace's teen years.