Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sega Characters, Sega does. I do not own Dane Cook's act "Bees and Sharks" Dane Cook does. I own Flash the Cat.
Sonic: Ok everyone, tonight we have our friend Flash, who just returned from the Human world to present to you a comedy act about his experience. Give it up for Flash!
(Applause)
Flash: Hello everyone, now I am going to tell you about my time in the human world, and let me tell you, these people were stupid, over their heads, and just plain rude. Now here is my first story. No offense to Charmy for this one.
Flash: You know, there are just some ways that when a tragedy happens, you laugh.
(Little giggling.)
Flash: Like who the F*** gets killed by bees?
(Laughter picks up.)
Flash: Like on the news they said "Yeah, todays someone got killed by bees" I just frickin laugh. Who gets killed by Bees? I mean if you are walking through the woods, you come to a bush, and you hear bzzzzzzz you just run away from that bush. Who is the idiot going "Hey, is that a bee? Here let me get closer OW! AHHHH! AHHH!"
(Laughter)
Flash: Dude screw that I would punch every bee in the Face.
(Laughter.)
Flash: Yeah, bee, come and get some, yeah screw you bee, where's the next bee at?
(Laughter)
Flash: I screw bees. I mean I can understand flying horses that is scary crap. Flies down on you and kicks you NEIGH! Screw bees. Screw bees.
(Laughter)
Flash: (Laughs to himself.) Did sharks get together and say "Let's start attacking people."
(Laughter)
Flash: The dude on the news said "Today a shark bit someone... and it let him go." So they bring him down to the beach, which is just where he wants to be, anywhere near the Ocean again.
(Laughter)
Flash: And the reporter goes "Why were you out there? What were you doing out there with the shark? Were you taunting it?"
(Laughter)
Flash: Yeah, sometimes I just go out in the water just to screw around with the sharks.
(laughter)
Flash: I shoot this thing called the Shark Rocket out into the water, and it really annoys them. Then I just wait there in the water. They come at me, but I am good at alluding them. I got this hip move, it's a thing porpoises do, I pretend I have a bottle nose, then I stab them in the gills, and it really is effective.
(Laughter)
Flash: And then she goes "Well how did you get away?"
Flash: And he says " I punched it... and it let me go."
(laughter)
Flash: Ok lets recap. A F***ing SHARK! Comes swimming through the water, sees this guy, bites down on him ARRGHH! This Guy punches the shark, and the shark goes "ALRIGHT!"
(Laughter.)
Flash: And tell me that there is anytime that you swim faster, than when a F***ing shark lets you go. You just "AHHHHH! AHHHH!" and when you are on the beach "AHHHH!"
Flash: And if you don't land some serious P**** with that story... "Yeah, see this bite, shark bit me. I punched it, and it tried to swim away. I grabbed it, punched it again. I said F*** you shark. Of course it sounded like Fuoke yeuo shaerk cause the water was in my mouth.
(Laughter)
Flash: LATER!
Sonic: Ok, that was it. He will be back soon with more, if you think he should do more, then simply review. Goodbye!