Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Harry Potter books or the movies. I might dream and wish, but…. No.
Author's Note: Hey! Ekaterina here. Again. So, generally I don't write slash and crackfic stories but this was just too hard to resist. It sort of popped into my head while I was watching the 7th HP movie- the last scene… it just bought me to peals of laughter. I really hope you like it! Oh, and this is based on the movie, not the book.
Finally. Finally after such a long and tiresome period of searching he had found the most powerful wand to ever come into existence. That too in the hands of his long time enemy, one place he never would have thought to look, after all, no one would expect the old man to be the carrier of the Elder Wand.
Voldemort leaned over his arch nemesis and allowed a small satisfied chuckle to leave his lips, there was no one to stop him from gaining such a wonderful power. But, wait, why was he so drawn to the old man's face? Eyes narrowed, Voldemort leaned in closer to the dead man, who had a look so peaceful that he might have been sleeping, and gazed at his face, mesmerized. Even in death this man intrigued him. Such a peaceful and…. SWEET?
"I wonder…" mused Volemort slowly. He frowned, what he was about to do was simply something he had heard a long while back from some mudblood during his school days, now he wondered if it would work. He whipped his head around suspiciously to make sure he wasn't being watched. Of course not, no one would dare to follow him here, and if they did a simple curse would cure them of their curiosity and send them spinning into the afterlife. Taking a deep breath, the darkest villain that ever came into being leaned down and kissed his arch nemesis, Albus Dumbledore.
He looked at Dumbledore's face, hysterical laugher bubbling up in him… what the hell had he just done? That very moment, the dead man's eyes fluttered open.
"Why, good evening, Tom," he said pleasantly. "I was waiting for you to come ever since I pricked my finger on my wand before tumbling down to what might have been my death. Lovely to know that you remembered me."
As lightening crashed, a scream of pure terror could be heard around the world. The next morning it was all over the Daily Prophet, Voldemort was found dead by Dumbledore's grave and it was due to extreme shock. It was also found from analysis that he was on drugs that produced hallucinations.