Lullaby

' It is the very error of the moon that she comes more near the earth than she was wont. And makes men mad.'

_Shakespeare

Once again, night had fallen upon the barren grounds, like the spell of an enchantress, turning heat to cold and gold to ink.

And there lay the desert, with all its might.

Silent, trackless, desolated and alone.

In the depths of its heart though, it held the warmth, safe from the cruelty of the frozen midnight.

Darkness never had been absolute in the desert. The clear night illuminated by the glint of starlight and the radiance of a bright moon on the soft sands as it slowly gave birth to shadows.

As the time came trailing everything was forgotten only the long trance ahead with dreams and nightmares even though for one…

None, seemed possible.

For all he could do was to sit under the star speckled peaceful sky and wait until the dawn even though soon, even peace became nothing but a delusion when the monster began,

Groaning, yelping, snarling, cracking and rasping;

Not in the closet, not under the bed or somewhere out of reach in the darkness but hidden in the sands, hidden in forbidden parts of a young one's mind as he struggled to fight with madness.

Under the full moon though insanity was inevitable.

' It is the very error of the moon that she comes more near the earth than she was wont. And makes men mad.' He thought and closed his eyes, stealing his gaze from the bright globe that was knitted into the heart of the pitch black sky, letting his mind swirl elsewhere.

It was truly a hard task to forget what he was then and what he has become now. The monster had been long gone and the weight of loneliness had been removed from his shoulders but still sleep was something foreign to his eyes, after all he was the victim of the night, forced to stay awake during its fall.

"Gaara,"

The familiar voice came from down the hallway. Soothing, like the wind whistling in the desert, it sang into his ears. He didn't have to look at the owner though, he already was aware of who it was.

"Temari,"

He felt her coming closer, sitting next to him. It only had been after the war that they got to have times like this. The bond of brotherhood and sisterhood had been fastening by time and they were turning into a real family. Something Gaara always desired as a child.

"Haven't slept yet, I see." She said calmly.

"Sleep is such a luxury, which I can never afford."

And there the silence squeezed between them, filling the space with its unrequired presence, much to their unpleasant. Gaara never was one to say more than a few words, so to expect him to break the silence was impossible. Temari looked at the sands beneath their feet, which under the moonlight seemed like a wavy sea. Tantalizing yet treacherous, she thought.

"I'm a terrible sister, am I not?" She uttered quietly. "I wish I could make it up for all those lost times." These confessions were rare but unavoidable at times. And no matter how much Gaara told his siblings that he didn't find them guilty for what had happened long ago and there were no need for such words still they seemed to never have forgiven themselves.

"You know when I was a child, mother sometimes sang for me to go to sleep. " She blurted out, drawing Gaara's attention. He didn't flinch though, feeling her inhaling deeply. "She sang the same lullaby for Kankuro." Gaara's body tensed for a second. Not that these mattered to him anymore but the rush of sadness towards his heart was inevitable. The familiar pain engulfed his chest as he slowly lifted his hand to touch it.

His face though didn't change a bit. But none of these were missed by Temari. And it wasn't because she was one of the sharpest Kunoichi of her time but because she was a sister. And nothing could trick the nature of it.

"And you, too. " She smiled when Gaara suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her, rather surprised.

Of course, someone who didn't know the young Kazekage, could easily mistake his expression for indifference. But it was vivid to her, that he was bedazzled by this fact.

"She would put her hands on her belly as she'd stroke it gently and she'd hum."

Gaara's sea foam-green eyes were fixed on his sister. She didn't look at Gaara though, her eyes were focused on something in the distance as she spoke with a smile carved on her face. He never had looked up at her this close before; she was indeed a true image of their mother. It was hard to tell that she was the very same merciless Kunoichi who had fought next to himself and Kankuro in the war.

"Temari," She was snapped back to reality by Gaara who had let a small smile grace his pale lips. "Would you do that for me? Would you sing me a lullaby?" He asked gently.

For a second, Gaara could see how Temari felt herself at loss of words to say but when she finally grinned widely, he was relieved. "Then promise me, you sleep." She said sincerely before frowning. " I don't remember the words though."

"I don't care, I still want to hear it."

He closed his eyes, for the first time, ready and willing to be drifted away to neverland. What a joyful feeling could it be?

Her voice was like a melody as it soared through the air taking with it the very soul of him. He ascended together in a magical flight to the heavens, heard and touched his mother's soul by the breathtaking music that was a perfect harmony to the sound of the wind. The medicine he had received this was enough to heal all the remnants wounds on his heart.

As his consciousness ebbed, his mind gave up its will and swirled with the beautiful chaos of a dream. What rarely happened and as short as it was, he still enjoyed it with the humming sound at the back of his mind, the night didn't seem to be long and unbearable anymore.

Temari watched him from the corner of her eye as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She could have done it sooner, couldn't she? She could soothe him when he was in pain, when he needed a caring hand on his shoulder but she never did. In all those times that she covered herself under the blanket to block out his cries of agony when she could only let her voice speak to her pure-hearted brother. But how could she when she had always been a coward. And the worst thing was that only now she had found out, what she really was back then.

Now She so much wanted to hug him, to let him sleep on her shoulder as she ruffled his hair, like any big sister would do, but...

Childhood never returned. Whatever she did now, it never sufficed. Guilt wasn't an easy enemy to defeat. It clung onto her heart, it dragged her, suffocated her into itself and it slowly killed her and there was nothing she could do. Time was lost and what was done was done.

Then again, she was willing to become the night's victim in her brother's place, to be forced to stay awake during its fall.

In the end wasn't that the best way she could punish herself for the lost times?

A/N

I think only a sister can be valiant enough to stay awake during the night only to make sure that her siblings have slept peacefully.

And yeah insomnia sucks.

I have a lot in mind to write here as author's note by I can't seem to find the right way to tell you those so... I think I won't talk much for now.

Just note this: The humming sound of the lullaby was actually from the movie "Pan's Labyrinth" you can google it and listen to it while reading this, that's what I did when I was writing this.

Thank you so much for reading

~Bella