Break, Shatter, Crash And Burn
He can't feel his arms. He knows something is bleeding. He knows something should be hurting like hell right now. He knows he's been defeated.
But… but the only thing he can feel is the cold barrel of the gun pressed against his forehead. Squinting, straining his sight and ignoring his throbbing headache, he looks at the person holding said gun.
"Y-Yao-"
"Be quiet." Comes her cold, harsh reply. "Tell me where the man you arrested last week was taken."
He grits his teeth. No, no, no. He coughs abruptly, the taste of iron filling his mouth and leaking down the corner of his lips. "Yaoyo-"
She clicks her tongue in annoyance and black fills his vison before he can even finish saying her name.
Midoriya is sitting by his side in his hospital room, methodically peeling apples. Todoroki glances at the mountain of peeled fruit next to his fellow hero, he majority of them already brown from oxidation.
"Midoriya." Todoroki rasps. "I think that's enough."
The green-haired man pauses for a few seconds, then continues. "I'm sorry." He adds, tears streaking down his face. "I'm so sorry, Todoroki."
Todoroki sighs and looks at the stark white ceiling. "It's not your fault."
"But… but it is! It's all our faults! How could we let something like this happen? Didn't any of us notice the signs?!" Midoriya bursts out, throwing the half-peeled apple to the ground in frustration. "We could have stopped this!"
"Could we really have?" Todoroki questions, closing his eyes. "Tell me, Midoriya, could we really have stopped her?"
His friend sniffles but doesn't say anything. That's right. They wouldn't have been able to do anything, even if they wanted to.
"Why did it have to be Yaoyorozu? Why…?" Midoriya whispers under his breath. "Why did she betray us?"
Todoroki opens his eyes again. "I wish I knew that, too." He blinks a few times, then turns his head to face the green-haired man. "How bad was it?"
Midoriya looks away, hesitantly clamming his lips together.
"It's okay, just tell me."
"Todoroki, I'm not sure you're ready for this…"
"Just tell me!" the words leave his mouth a bit more forceful than intended, but he needs to know. He needs to know what she did this time.
Midoriya clenches his fists in his lap, grimacing deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Todoroki, but… There's nothing we could do… There's no way she can ever be redeemed."
Todoroki had feared that would be the case. He steels himself. "How many?"
"358 people, including two elementary school classes." Midoriya concedes, recalling the number shakily. "The media's in an uproar. You'll… you'll probably be investigated soon."
"I see." Todoroki manages to answer. "I… see."
"But don't worry! We'll be there to defend you!" Midoriya adds on fervently. "We'll make sure they understand th-"
"That what?" Todoroki scoffs apathetically. "That I didn't love her? That I don't still love her?"
Midoriya falls silent, looking downwards at his clenched fingers. "They'll devour you. They'll rip your reputation to shreds."
"Then I'll just rebuild it." Todoroki answers. "I'll show them that I can separate work matters from my private affairs."
"Is that really okay?" His friend knits his fingers together nervously. "Look, if you… if you want to quit, we understand."
Todoroki looks at him for a few seconds. The thought had crossed his mind. Just… quit. Let it go. Leave everything behind.
But no. No way in hell.
"I'm not going to quit, Midoriya. I'm not going to quit until I find out why."
"-aster. Pro Heroes from all over the country are gathering in Tokyo to attend the press conference on how to deal with the new Villain Group led by former Pro Hero Creati. Creati's motivations for turning her back on her comrades are still unclear, but there are suspicions that it might have to do with her relati-"
Iida switches the TV off with a grim expression. "Don't listen to what they say, Todoroki."
"I wasn't intending to." Todoroki replies offhandedly. "I just wanted to know what kind of accusations might be thrown my way."
Iida takes a seat opposite of him. "I know that you want to get behind the truth, Todoroki, but this isn't good for your health. You've hardly been sleeping, and your diet is all over the place. I'm telling you this as your friend, you need to take a step back and breathe."
Todoroki runs a hand through his hair and chuckles dryly. "Trust me, I would, If I could."
"Mommy, look, it's the Hero Frostfire!"
"Don't stare, honey. And don't talk to him." The woman smiles warily before pushing her child aside.
Ever since Yaoyorozu's betrayal was made public, those were the usual reactions he got. He sighs and pulls his muffler higher up his face, as well as adjusting his hat, hoping to avoid being recognized.
It's November, the grey skies and cold air giving way for Christmas season. He would have liked to spend Christmas with her.
"What's with the grim expression, child?" The old woman from the dango shop asks him worriedly.
He takes his order and plasters on a fake smile. "It's nothing."
She frowns and shakes her head. "Don't 'It's nothing' me. I'll have you know that this old lady has plenty of life experience."
She pats the space next to her. "Take a seat and tell me, child."
Hesitantly, he complies, popping a dango into his mouth. After he swallows it, he stares at the concrete ground. "Old lady, what is a hero?"
"A hero?" She repeats. "A hero… is somebody who makes you smile. Even in the darkest of situations, a hero can make you smile with hope." She sighs. "At least that's what my husband used to say. My grandson on the other hand… thinks that heroes are all just super-flashy powers packed into action-figurines."
That makes Todoroki chuckle. "You have your hands full with that grandson."
She laughs. "Yes, yes I do, but he's worth every second of it. But back to your worries, child."
Todoroki exhales, watching his breath create small vapours in the cold air. "If a hero is somebody who makes you smile, is a villain somebody who takes away your smile?"
The old lady hums in thought. "I don't think it's that black-and-white. If you ask me, villains are more complicated than heroes."
"Is that so?"
"When does somebody start being a villain? Is it after one bad deed? After ten? After a hundred?"
Todoroki takes another bite of dango. "What about after 1293?"
The woman turns to him and blinks. "That's an oddly specific number. Do you have a certain person in mind?"
He looks up at the grey sky. "I… I've known her for a long time now. And she never… she never would have…"
The old lady smiles sadly. "Sometimes, the people we think we know the best are the ones that surprise us the most."
He looks at her. "I know, but… She was… she was my… my lighthouse. No matter how dark things got, she was always there to guide me back to shore."
The woman hands him another stick of dango. "Don't worry, it's on me. Also wipe your tears, child."
The dango is followed by a handkerchief, both of which he accepts.
"When we hold somebody in high regards," the old lady says, "we don't notice they start falling until it's too late."
"I promised her." He chokes out. "I promised her I'd always be there to catch her."
The woman pats him on the back gently. "If you believe that she's still falling, then you might still have a chance to catch her."
Todoroki manages a small smile. Maybe… maybe…
Angrily, he punches the wall.
The newspaper is nothing more than grey flecks of ashes, covering the ground.
That makes a total of 1756 now. He's kept the number in his mind, meticulously adding up each victim over the past year.
Heaving, he slides downwards onto his knees. There were never any survivors, aside from the Pro Heroes that were always kept alive, almost mockingly.
Midoriya is standing by the door, silently watching over him.
Todoroki stares at the tapestry, looking for answers. Why. Why. Why. WhY. WHy. wHY. WHY.
Why?
Did she hate him that much? Was he not enough for her to stay? Was his love for her not enough?
Uraraka doesn't say anything, just sits there looking apologetic. Next to her is Bakugou, an unreadable expression on his face. The trio is completed by Midoriya, who looks downright miserable.
"Todoroki, I'm sorry. We've been asked to help with the raid on what they believe is… her headquarters."
Todoroki pointedly looks away, out of the window. It's January, a few snowflakes drifting by.
His hands absentmindedly fiddle with a playing card lying on the table.
"Todoroki?" Uraraka askes softly.
"It's okay." He answers hurriedly. "It's… okay."
Bakugou slams a palm on the table. "Obviously, it's fucking not." He grits out between his teeth, visibly upset. "Tell you what, Half-n-half, I'm going to march in there and pull that goddamn woman out by her fucking ponytail, got it?! And when I do, you better be there waiting for her!"
Todoroki stares at Bakugou in bafflement, not expecting that outburst.
But his throat feels dry, and he can't get himself to say anything.
Bakugou stands up and storms out of the room, followed by a worried Uraraka. Midoriya jumps up to follow suite, shooting one last apologetic glance towards Todoroki.
Once they're all gone, he looks at the stray card in his hand. It's a joker.
He visits Bakugou's hospital room.
The blonde stares out of the window, seemingly ignoring him for about five minutes straight.
"I fucked up." He finally says, meeting Todoroki's eyes. "Is that what you want to hear me say?"
Todoroki shakes his head, sits down and starts peeling apples. "You don't have to say anything.
Somebody's ringing his doorbell in the middle of the night. He contemplates ignoring it, but in the end, he pulls himself out of bed and slugs over to the door.
He wasn't really sleeping, to begin with.
He's greeted by a pink-haired woman, a serious expression etched on her face.
"Hatsume? What are you doing here?"
She grimaces. "I have something you need to see."
"It's 2:30 AM, this couldn't wait until later?" He asks sleepily, but she's already pushing herself past him, shrugging off her shoes and making her way into his apartment.
"No, this can't wait. You'll see what I mean in a moment."
He frowns. He never had much to do with the crazy mechanic, actively avoiding her during his high school days. If he ever needed anything, he usually went to… Yaoyorozu.
He shakes that thought away heavy-heartedly. Now was not the time for that.
Hatsume is already at his kitchen counter, tapping away at her laptop. "I know I probably shouldn't be showing this to you, but you really need to see this. But first, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody about this."
He rubs his eyes. "Okay, I promise."
She hesitates, then turns the laptop screen to face him. "These are Momo Yaoyorozu's files, directly from the archive. I stumbled upon them by accident while looking for something she modified a few years ago." The mechanic explains.
The sound of her name snaps him awake immediately, and before he knows it he's hovering over the computer screen.
His eyes fly over the words, his stomach sinking more and more with each sentence as it comes closer to the end.
Speechless, he covers his mouth with his hands. He shuts his eyes, pressing them together because it can't be. It can't be.
He takes a deep breath.
It can't be.
"Hatsume, where did you get this from?" He finally manages to ask.
"The mainframe." She replies curtly, lips set in a tight line. Then she inhales sharply. "There are… others."
Others? Todoroki gulps, runs his fingers through his hair, taps them on the counter and finally groans in frustration. "How can this be?"
"I've read the entire protocol." Hatsume continues. "They don't have a choice."
Todoroki laughs, even though the situation was far from funny. He clutches his head, shaking it from side to side fervently, his disarrayed laughter echoing through the dark apartment.
"Of course they don't. Of course they fucking don't." Tears spill form his eyes, dripping onto the ground, all while his laughter at the irony of the situation rings on.
Hatsume watches silently, her usually jovial, lively demeanour replaced by a grim one.
Nobody says anything when he slams his resignation on his superior's desk.
Midoriya looks at him worriedly, but for the first time in the past few months, Todoroki is able to muster a genuine smile.
"Hey, Midoriya. Thank you for being my friend."
Midoriya bursts into tears, worriedly asking him what's wrong, but Todoroki plays it off with a wave, even pulling the green-haired man into a hug.
"Thank you."
"T-Todoroki? Are you sick?" Midoriya stammers wildly.
"No, I've just come to terms with a lot of things. I've made up my mind."
His friend smiles hesitantly. "T-That's good to hear, Todoroki."
He drops by the agency Uraraka and Bakugou work for, exchanging a few words with them. Uraraka seems relieved, but Bakugou watches him sceptically.
They stare each other down for a few seconds, and Todoroki knows that Bakugou knows that he's planning something. Something probably stupid.
But Bakugou doesn't bring it up, just nods at him in acknowledgement and leaves.
Iida pats him on the back and says some comforting words, then invites him out to dinner. Todoroki smiles slightly and declines politely.
He spends a few days with his family. It's nice to see their faces again, even his father's.
"Oh, it's you." The old lady from the dango shop looks up to him and smiles. "What can I get you today."
Todoroki reciprocates her smile and hold up three fingers. "I'll take three of the usual, please."
"You seem to be doing better." She remarks happily, packing three sticks of dango for him. "Did the clouds over your heart start to give way for the sun?"
"You could say that…" He takes a bite of the dango. "I've finally seen the whole picture."
"That's good to hear."
"Hey, old lady."
"Yes, child?"
He flashes her a smile. "I'm going to catch her before she hits the ground."
The warehouse looks inconspicuous, but he knows there's more to it. His mind reels, going over what was written in the files Hatsume showed him.
He freezes the lock, then shatters it quietly. Pausing for a moment, making sure nobody heard him, he lets out a relieved sigh and slips though the door, not bothering to lock it again.
The part that leads into the underground facility is, for the lack of a better word, a maze. Hatsume's hacking gadget comes in handy, and he's grateful she still had it despite it not being licensed by any tech company.
The place is eerily silent, only the heavy stench of iron filling the air. He checks the time. He still has one hour.
A metallic clang echoes through the facility, making him freeze. A few seconds later, he decides to continue moving.
It takes him longer than anticipated to reach the main generator room, the room, where according to the plan, she should be.
He's passed several dead bodies on the way there.
He hesitates as he stands in front of it, placing one ear to the cold metal door. He can make out some shuffling noises, but no voices.
Mustering all his courage, he pushes down the handle, finding the door to be unlocked. It screeches, alarming the figure sitting in the room.
Yaoyorozu turns her head, gun already pointing in his direction. She seems surprised, but it's gone in a second, replaced by a stern expression and a sneer. "What are you doing here? How did you find this place?"
Her hair is cropped jaggedly, and she's sporting an ugly bruise on the side of her face, as well as hastily bandaged gash across her left thigh. Her skin is covered in multiple smaller cuts, blood trickling from some of them.
She looks tired. Exhausted. Her cheeks are slightly hollow, hinting towards an excessive use of her quirk. There are multiple bricks of C4 distributed in the room, connected by an array of wires.
Todoroki holds up both arms and walks further into the room. "A little birdie told me. Don't worry, I'm alone."
She furrows her brows. "Why would you come alone? Are you stupid?"
"I know. I know everything. I… I saw the files."
Her eyes widen drastically, her expression morphing into one of horror. "What? How?!" She demands furiously.
He comes to a stop in front of her, takes the gun and lowers her arms. "I told you. A little birdie came to me."
The corners of her mouth distort. "If you know everything, why did you come here? Don't you know what I'm about to do?!" She asks angrily.
"I do." He answers simply, ignoring everything and pulling her into a hug. "I know exactly what you're going to do." He whispers into her hair. "I know the Hero Alliance send you here as an undercover agent. I know you tried to refuse but couldn't. I know that you're going to blow this entire facility up when the black market representatives arrive. I know you never wanted any of this."
She's rigid in his arms, but slowly, her mask crumbles, her façade falls apart and she wraps her arms around him, shaking, sobbing, crying into his chest.
Her tears soak into his shirt, but he just pulls her closer.
"T-Todoroki, I… I…" She chokes out between sobs. "I only… I only wanted to be a hero!"
"I know."
"I don't want to hurt anybody! I never wanted to!" She wails.
"I know."
"I never wanted to hurt my friends! I never wanted to hurt you!"
He runs his fingers through her knotted black tresses. "I know." He continues stroking her hair. "I'll take you away from here."
She shakes her head fervently. "There's no place for me to go. And I've lost every right to be at your side."
"We'll go somewhere far away. Just the two of us."
She continues shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but I can't." She pushes him away, taking a step back. "I'll never be able to atone for my sins. You should leave, Todoroki. While you still can."
"I'm not leaving without you."
She smiles sadly. "This isn't the time to be stubborn, Todoroki."
He sighs. He expected this. "Then I'll stay here. With you."
Yaoyorozu laughs. "Don't say such silly things." Another wave of tears trickles down her cheeks. "You still have a promising life ahead of you."
He closes the distance and pulls her in for another hug. "The only life I ever wanted… was one with the woman I love."
She leans her forehead onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but that's the one thing I can't give you."
"Then at least… let me spend the rest of my life with you." He whispers.
"I can't let you do that. Let me be a hero one last time. Let me at least save your life." She pleads.
Todoroki hums. "Somebody told me that a hero is someone who makes other people smile. You've always made me smile. You've always been my hero."
"You're an idiot." She cries, pounding a fist against his chest. "Why are you such an idiot?!"
"I don't know, but you can't change my mind."
"This place is going up in ten minutes. You can still make it if you leave now."
"I already told you, I'm not going to leave you. I promised, I promised that I'd catch if you ever were to fall."
"Sometimes, it's okay to break a promise."
"This isn't one of those times."
"Yes, it is!"
He just shakes his head and holds her tighter. He'll never let go of her again.
"Shouto…" She whispers in defeat. "Please."
The only sound in the room is the rhythmic beeping of the timer.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
He kisses her, one last time, it's salty, messy, but it's okay. Because she's here.
And maybe, maybe, they'll get another chance at life.
Beep. Beep.
And he'll definitely never let go of her again.
"You have no idea how much I love you." He whispers against her lips.
It's between tears, but she smiles in response. "About as much as I love you."
Beeeeeeeeeeee-
"-planation for the explosion of multiple warehouses by the pier. No official statement has been made yet, but many believe this incident to be connected to villain activity in the surrounding region. Don't forget to check in to our evening news for more inform-"
Bakugou switches off the TV before he succumbs to the urge to punch it. He can't stand that new reporter's ugly mug.
He looks in the mirror. The black tie is uncomfortable. He loosens it and scowls at his reflection.
What a fucking pain. Stupid Deku and Uraraka are going to be sobbing all day.
"You owe me, fucking half-n'-half bastard. Stupid ponytail bitch."
In the end, he chooses to ditch the tie. It's making it hard to breathe.
AN: I've had this idea ever since Hawks was shown to be a double agent. I hope you cried, if not then I did something wrong.
Please leave a review :)
~Emi