Baby Makes Three
Kenna's feet fell heavily to the castle cobblestones in frustration, Nostradamus' bombshell raking through the echoes of each step; You are with child, you are with child, you are with child...
She couldn't be pregnant, she kept telling herself that she couldn't be but no amount of denial could alter the evidence to the contrary; the past couple of months had gone without a speck of bleeding and the sudden urge to vomit every morning – not to mention at the sight of food – were known indicators of the truth.
With the added tiredness – Bash had sworn he'd woken her one morning before he'd gone out for an early hunt with Francis, only to find her still in bed and fast asleep at lunch time, just the week before – and sudden tightness of her clothes, Kenna had no choice but to accept defeat and see the physician.
Kenna wasn't ready to be a mother.
Barely 17 and not long married – even less so, happily– she could scarcely believe that she - and Bash, because this was his fault too – had allowed this to happen, for she wasn't stupid and she knew she could've stopped it.
Entering the throne room, Kenna was immediately drawn to the energy of her husband. Stood with his brother and a few others of the King's circle, Bash's eyes rose to meet hers and he smiled brightly in acknowledgement. Kenna replied in kind, however tightly, but as she saw him go to make his excuses, she shook her head otherwise, quickly pointing to Greer, who sat reading in a corner.
Frowning slightly, Bash nodded in understanding and, with relief, Kenna hastened to join Greer on the chaise and sat with unceremonious huff.
Picking up Greer's discarded bookmark, Kenna began to feebly fan herself against the heat of summer.
"Are you alright?" Greer asked with a raised eyebrow, "You look a little pale, you haven't come down with something, have you?"
"I'm fine, I-" Kenna stopped and glared pointedly at the nearby fire, "Who thought it was a good idea for a fire? Surely it's not necessary in August."
"It's probably just lit out of habit," Greer took back the bookmark and Kenna frowned as she placed it at the page and closed her book. "Are you sure you're alright? You look a little tired."
"Fantastic." Kenna drawled, "I'm alright, honestly, I'm just a little out of sorts, is all. I've been thinking about Lola and the baby. I can't stop thinking how distraught she must be."
It wasn't a complete lie, exactly, she just wasn't ready to divulge the complete truth just yet, and she had been thinking about Lola, rather more as her own condition had been confirmed.
"I wish we could be there for her. She must feel so alone," Greer replied, dejectedly.
It was only just over a month ago when Lola had birthed her own babe. A beautiful little boy that had barely time to cry before it had breathed its first and last breath. Kenna, and Greer, knew from Mary that Francis had reached her in time to glimpse at their child before it had given its last sigh. Francis returned to court not long after, clearly shaken, and with news that Lola had left for Scotland, needing time before returning to the bustle of French court.
Kenna shuddered as she imagined Lola holding her first child, lost before she could even get to know him. She felt for her, she truly did, but the fear that gripped at her throat wouldn't relent – she didn't think she could survive that same torment, if that was what fate had in store for her.
Greer's voice spoke from what felt like miles away, "Perhaps you should go lie down." Kenna looked up at her, vision blurred, "You really don't look well."
Kenna nodded and slowly stood, hoping Bash wouldn't notice her leaving, "Yes, a lie down sounds marvellous around about now."
Before anything else could be said, Kenna fled and as soon as the door of her room was closed, she fell to the floor, tears flooding the stone floor.
For days after, Bash tried to ask what was bothering her but Kenna just couldn't bring herself to tell him of her news.
She couldn't imagine him wanting this for them, at least not yet. They were still so young, and learning how to be with one another, it seemed too soon to throw another person into the mix, a tiny person that would need everything that they could give them to thrive.
She knew Bash loved and cared for his younger brothers, and he'd been good with little Pascal when he was with them, but a child of their own was different. On one hand, Kenna knew he would love to have some family to call his own but on the other, she knew he'd never thought he'd have one with her. In the short time they'd been together, he'd probably never had time to think about it. She hadn't, either, until she had no choice.
Stepping outside to the scene of a glorious picnic, Kenna glared at the offending sun and when a waiter passed with a plate of hors d'oeuvres – that once would've caught her appetite – she had to gather all the strength she had to stop herself from being sick right there on the lawn.
"Are you sure you should be out here?" Bash asked quietly from beside her, her hand in his and a look of intent concern across his face, "You're still a little pale and you been a little-"
His struggle for suitable – but still not offensive – wording prompted her, "A little what, Bash?" She smirked lightly, despite how dreadful she felt, "And tread carefully. That rug by the fire doesn't look as though it'd be very comfortable for a full night's sleep."
Bash chuckled briefly before his more sombre expression returned, "I was going to say, off. You've been off with everyone and everything lately. The only time you seem satisfied is when you're asleep."
"Not just when I'm asleep. I was rather more satisfied last night in fact." A wicked grin graced her lips and Kenna was sure he knew what she meant.
"Nevertheless, are you sure Nostradamus can't give you something to make you feel better?" He asked, his thumb brushing a rhythm against her knuckles.
Uncomfortable under his stare, Kenna looked away and to their joined hands, "The sun will do me good. Honestly, whatever it is, it will pass."
"Kenna!" Mary's voice called from afar and Kenna waved to her Queen, "Come join us!"
Kenna finally looked back at Bash, "Duty calls, husband. Find Francis, have fun." At his heavy sigh she added, "I'll be fine, go!"
With a hand to one cheek, Bash ducked to the other and kissed her softly, "I'll come find you soon."
They parted and Kenna found Mary and Greer watching a show of falcons. The birds flew from one man to another, swooping high and low, a show of their talents and broad feathers for the ladies.
"How are you? Greer said you haven't been feeling well." Mary asked softly.
Kenna's eyebrow raised in Greer direction who shrugged in reply, "It's not like that pallor and mood of yours is easy to ignore. Soon everyone is going to think you're on death's door."
"I told you, there is nothing wrong with me."
"If Nostradamus isn't being of any help, I can find you another physician." Mary offered, a comforting arm on Kenna's arm.
Kenna smiled at the Queen and placed her hand on hers, "I'm grateful but truly it won't be necessary." Taking a heavy breath, she continued, "I may as well just tell you."
Greer and Mary hovered closer to her. "What is it?" Greer urged.
"Whatever it is, we can help you," Mary followed.
"I-"
A whistle blew in the distance and the girls looked up suddenly to see a falcon fly over their heads.
At the sudden motion, Kenna stumbled backwards, her grip on Mary's hand tightened and her vision blurred.
"Kenna?" Mary asked, "Kenna, are you alright?"
Kenna grasped at the clingy front of her dress, "I can't-" But the breath escaped her.
"Bash!" Greer called, "Come quickly!"
"No, I-"
The earth moved and Kenna's knees buckled, a large pair of hands came to rest at her hips and her back slumped against a warm wall.
"Kenna? Kenna!"
And as it all went black, all Kenna could dream of was a dark haired baby and her husband's voice singing him to sleep.
A clattering from somewhere around her greeted Kenna when she came to.
Her eyes fluttered and adjusted to the low, dusky light of Nostradamus' dank quarters, the tall, oppressive man stood ahead of her, his back facing her. Steadily, she sat up just slightly, a hand to her stomach.
Oh, please God, no. What if...?
"What's happened? Is the baby alright?"
Nostradamus turned at her voice but his eyes never met hers, instead glancing above her.
"The baby's fine," Kenna turned to Bash so quick that her head started to swim again. He shrunk to her level as she lay on the camp-bed, "You, however, need to start taking better care of yourself." His lips turned into an ever-so-small smile, the secret smile that she'd grown to love.
She couldn't take it. Kenna turned, avoiding his eyes as much as he tried to catch hers.
"Why didn't you tell me?" The hint of a wounded ego leaked into his voice.
Kenna's head shook in refusal.
"Kenna, please. Talk to me," Bash implored quietly, Nostradamus' presence long forgotten. "Nostradamus told me, if that's what you're thinking of."
Kenna finally looked, pointedly, at Bash, "Well, I'd guessed that much."
Bash smiled indulgently then, "So, she does have a voice then, indignant as it may be."
Without a thought, Kenna's hand collided with his chest. Indignation, indeed!Bash caught her hand and held it for a moment to his lips, still looking at her. Kenna smiled, too, at the notion, before he spoke again.
"Why didn't you tell me? You must've known you'd have to eventually."
"Maybe I hoped you'd just notice when I got fat around the middle. And my ankles. I'm going to get fat ankles." Kenna pouted at the last part, making Bash laugh.
"That still doesn't answer my question, however," He pushed further.
"Persistant, aren't we?" Kenna taunted a little more.
"Kenna."
"Alright!" Kenna sighed. To give her some time, she shuffled amongst the furs she lay in before settling again, "I didn't think you'd want this."
Bash immediately went to argue but Kenna continued regardless, "I'm terrified as it is, especially after Lola's ordeal not long ago," Bash grimaced at the mention of their grieving friend, "Not to mention that we've only just gotten started ourselves. We've only just reached a happy place, a reallyhappy place, and this... I didn't want to ruin it. Not yet."
"This doesn't even come close to trying to ruin us, Kenna. We've fought through worse!" Bash tried to argue but Kenna still went on.
"Exactly. How can we be ready to be parents, Bash?! We're hardly capable of being functioning adults, never mind even the idea of raising a child!" Kenna paused for breath then quietly furthered, "I didn't want you to leave me on my own."
"Kenna, I wouldn't!" Bash's voice rose in frustration, "How could I ever leave you?"
"Yes, I know!" Kenna's voice grew too, "'We're wed, we cannot be unwed.' You've told me that already! I get it, you're stuck with me!"
Kenna struggled against Bash's grip on her hands between them, even as one of his came up to her cheek and moved into her hair, "I didn't mean that, Kenna, you know I didn't!I love you! I thought, by now, you knew that."
"I do," Kenna growled between her teeth, "I do, and I love you, too!" She paused, grasping for words, "But that's just it. It's just us, and we were happy as just us."
Bash's hand flew from her cheek to her flat tummy. Kenna gasped.
"And I'll be even happier with him... Or her!" He added quickly with a sheepish grin.
"But it's so soon!" Kenna argued feebly, a hand of hers lying on top of his and the urge to cry prickling at her throat.
Bash scoffed gently, "Perhaps. But if ushas taught me anything, then maybe it's just meant to be. Either way, I am happy. I assure you. Please, say you are too."
"I am. Now! I-" Kenna stammered amongst tears, "I just- I'm still so frightened, Bash. Lola, she-"
"What happened to Lola, was... unfortunate." Bash's forehead briefly twisted into a sad scowl again, "But we can't let that dampened our own good fate. I won't lose you or him."
"Or her," Both scoffed a laugh then.
Kenna put her hand to her husband's cheek and pulled him in for a brief kiss, "Can we really do this?"
With Henry and Diane as Bash's influences, he knew he had a lot to learn and as for Kenna, her parents couldn't have been in more of a hurry to get rid of her, so she knew she had to shape up too.
"We've managed so far," The corners of Bash's lips turned up again.
"God knows how!" She chuckled.
They rested, forehead to forehead, for a moment.
"Promise me, you'll start eating again, you need your strength." He paused, "You frightened me earlier."
"I'm sorry." She replied earnestly, "I will. That is, as soon as the mere sight of food stops trying to make me gag."
"We'll find you something, I'm sure."
"Even for me, your fussy wife?"
"Even for you, my beautiful, fussy wife."
The shared another laugh before Bash spoke again.
"I really do love you, you know? And him," He glanced furtively at her stomach.
Kenna gaped, "Or her!"
Bash rolled his eyes in jest and conceded, "Or her."
Kenna grinned, "And I love you, too. You'll have to ask her when shearrives, though."
Smirking, he replied, "Gladly." And kissed Kenna again.
And while the fear still wrestled ever so quietly in the back of her mind – something she guessed would never truly leave her – she knew that they – the three of them – would be just fine.
A.N. So I was searching for a Kenna/Bash baby fic to read and couldn't find one, so I decided to write one myself.
Thoughts?
Jessica.