Promise

by TheDarkAngleLilith

"So, Dhampir novices get their assignments tomorrow morning." I said, attempting to start a causal conversation.

"Yeah, I know. Six weeks stuck with some Asshole to stare at us all day." Christian replied.

"Can you ever just try to see the glass as being half full?" I asked.

"Half full or half empty it's still not all it could be." He pointed out.

"Alright so that makes sense, but do you always have to be so negative?" I questioned as I leaned over in my seat and placed a hand on his knee.

"I'm not always negative," Christian protested "I can be positive."

"If you want to be and when you want to be." I retorted.

"Exactly, I just happen to not feel like being positive right now." He smiled his signature smirk. I don't think he knew how much that grin drove me crazy.

I climbed into his lap positioning myself so that we were facing each other with me kneeling across his thighs. Christian smiled openly at me as he snaked his arms around my waist.

"Now, now Darling, we're in a church." Christian chastised jokingly, he had no belief or patients for religion, and I didn't judge him for that like most religious loyalists would. I wasn't that deep seeded in it anyways but I still believed in a higher ruler.

"Oh shut up." I laughed.

"That seems like a really good idea right now." He whispered tenderly and the rare sweetness of his tone matched his touch.

Neither of us said anything for quite a long time after that. Christian's affection took all words away from me, kisses and gentle touches spoke louder than words.

It was private moments like this, our "Midnight sins" as Christian called these nights in the church attic, we could freely express our love and let down walls that we couldn't in the prying eyes of the public.

This was when I could see Christian for who he really was. He kept up a sarcastic, antisocial, stuck up, "I couldn't care less" attitude as protection. He was never particularly liked even before he was labeled "the evil Strigoi spawn", sometimes to keep the hurt out you have to stop anyone or anything good from getting in. Christian lived off of not hopping and in that never getting heart broken. It's a safe way to live but a lonely and sad way of life. Underneath his defenses he really was a completely different person. He was sarcastic, witty and negative by nature and habit, but he was also sweet and caring he was easy to talk to and he actually listened and was interested in what I had to say. Christian was a very intensive lover and I could tell how much this relationship meant to him, it meant the same to me.

We both needed someone with trauma in their past, someone who understood almost exactly what we were going through, and someone to fall back on when others just didn't understand. What happened with our parents were two very different scenarios, one a tragic accident one a terrible betrayal. But the feeling of grief was the same. You can't understand it unless you've experienced it first-hand.

…

We didn't speak again until the Academy's morning. It was like the supernatural and the humans split the world in half. The humans walked the light and we roamed the dark.

I did enjoy the sun to a degree, I liked the way it lit everything up so clearly the way it filled me with warmth when being out in it for brief periods of time. But in large doses the sun brought headaches, exhaustion, dehydration and bad burns.

But as Christian and I snuck back to the Moroi dorms there was no sun. The full moon hung in the sky, romantic as it was it was bitter cold I just wanted to get inside.

When it came time for us to part Christian pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed my temple. I smiled and sunk into his arms hiding my face in his shoulder from sharp gusts of wind.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

I nodded what little body heat I could feel through our coats was nice but I was still freezing.

"Hold on." Christian whispered.

Soon I could feel heat radiating from him, his arms, hands, and his chest. He was manipulating his magic, warming me.

I smiled and leaned against him soaking up the heat "you're amazing, you know that."

"Well I try," he replied cockily "You were and you still are amazing it doesn't matter if you can use Spirit or not."

"Thank you." I brought my head up to look him in the eyes. This was it, the perfect opportunity to tell him "What if I could?"

"Could what?" he questioned.

"Use my magic." I replied.

"You can't, unless you went off your meds and…" he stopped and stared at me with wide eyes "No, Lissa really? Why the hell would you do that?"

I had a feeling he would react this way, it would be worse with Rose later. But everyone thought it was a bad idea except for me. I knew what the risks were if I stopped taking the pills. But I felt fine I didn't need them anymore I knew I could find different ways to manage the magic. I could almost touch it I needed to get to it; I needed to know what I was truly capable of. I had heard of so many things Spirit users could supposedly do, the only way to find out if I could do more than heal and use compulsion was to actually practice with the magic itself. There was only one problem, people thinking that I would fall off my rocker at any given moment if I stopped taking those pills.

"I can feel the magic, if the barrier came down just a little more I could reach it. Think of everything I might be capable of. I could heal again, I could save lives." I told him.

"Lissa we've been over this already, healing someone isn't worth giving up yourself." Christian replied.

"I'm fine now; the pills helped me now I can be okay without them." I stated.

He took my hands and looked into my eyes "Promise me you won't do it."

I just stared at him sadly. I knew he was just worried about me and that was sweet of him, but this was my choice and I had already made up my mind.

"I can't make that promise." I told him.

A conflicted almost cross look laced his features then suddenly he broke away from me and walked off toward his dorm. I chased after him stepping in front of him when I caught up.

"Christian stop, I don't want to end this conversation like this" I said halting dead in his path.

His crystal blue eyes shifted off to the left and I cupped his face in my hands.

"I'll be okay, don't worry about me." I told him softly.

Christian brought my hands away from his face and held them between us as his eyes met mine.

"You're making that kind of hard, Liss." He replied.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head in the crook of his neck "I'll be okay, this relationship won't hurt you. I can promise you that. I love you."

"I love you too, that's why I don't want you to go off those pills. What happens if you aren't okay without them, what if you start slipping downhill again?"

"If that happens I promise I'll go back on my meds, okay?" I told him "I have to try this."

Christian nodded and pulled me closer for a short but sweet kiss.

"We have to go; we'll be late for class. People will make up all sorts of reasons why." I stated. I knew how cruel some students could be if Christian and I both showed up late for first class the rumors would go from we sneaked off to have sex- which wasn't entirely wrong- but it grow into something like me being pregnant with a half Strigoi baby…

"Let them." Christian whispered as he placed a kiss to my forehead.

I smiled "goodbye Christian, I'll see you at lunch."

He rolled his eyes "bye."

One last kiss and we headed off to our dorms

I do not own any rights to the Vampire academy books or the movie.

Thank you for reading please review.