Title: Working after hours
Author: Enide Dear
Warnings: teasing
Pairing: RenoxRufus, Reeve…
Summary: Dedicated to :iconfrostofoblivionIV: for being runner up to the 4 444 kiriban! Her request was RenoxRufus and the phrase 'Electric Cucumber', so…
Also thanks to :iconsunstroke-art: for the new take on Electric Cucumbers!
Author's note: I'm now officially even more frightened of Hojo than I was before….and Reno has been spending too much time with Yazoo to pry in all those bad innuendoes.
There was someone in his office. Rufus looked up from the pile of paperwork to glance around the large office. No alarms had been triggered, but somehow he knew, by the way the hairs on the back of his head rose, that he wasn't alone in the room anymore. Moving very slowly he put his hand under his jacket and pulled out his gun; he felt a lot better when the heavy weight was once more in his hand, ready to be used.
He could have just called security and the place would have swarmed with Turks in seconds, but they'd make a total mess out of his carefully stacked paperwork and the important documents he'd been working with for hours. And anyway, he felt silly, running to Tseng like a scared child. He was a grown man after all. A grown man with a big gun. A grown man with a big gun who wasn't afraid of shadows. Right.
Gun in hand, he walked slowly around the huge office, peaking carefully under tables and gingerly opening wardrobes. He found no one, and yet he'd learned to trust his carefully honed instincts long ago and his neck hairs still stood on end. Someone was watching him, somewhere.
"Damn it, Reeve, if this is your stupid cat-doll again…" he muttered under his breath as he walked back to the desk. He dumped the gun as a paperweight on some report from Hojo and pushed his ungrounded fears away. The report caught his eye. *The uses of mutated vegetables as biological warfare? What the Hell, Hojo?*
The next thing he knew, he was laying facedown on the smooth hardwood desk, scattered papers flying all around him as he gasped for breath when a body leaned over him, pinning him down.
"Good evening mr President sir," Reno grinned in his ear. "Working late?"
"Damn it Reno! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Rufus squirmed, but the Turk had him in a locked grip and all he managed was some feeble kicking. Reno didn't seem to mind the wriggling underneath him. "I'm your boss! Don't you ever show any respect?"
"'Course I do. You don't think I sneak past guards and security systems for just anyone, right?" Reno's breath was hot in his ear. "I respect your cute ass, your girly face, your pretty moaning….all your *ass*ets."
"Oh, haha…hey!" Rufus wriggled some more as Reno started tearing down his pants. Something hard and smooth and *huge* was sliding up his now naked thigh, vibrating against the soft skin. "There's no way that's you!" he groaned suspiciously.
"Nah, took a little detour past Hojo's lab and found this." Reno was still sliding the thing up and down his thighs. "You like it?"
"Ngh!"
"Is that a yes or a hell yes, sir?"
"What…is…that…?" Rufus managed.
"I think it's an electric cucumber."
"What?! Get that thing off me, it's supposed to be a weapon!"
"Really? That explains the tomato shaped handgrenades, I suppose…but I wonder what the hell the grapefruit was supposed to do." Reno's teasing hadn't stopped, but he threw the cucumber-thing away, replacing it with skilled fingers.
"Fuck!" Rufus gasped.
"Is that an order, sir? Will I get a *raise* if I comply quickly?"
"You realise I will have to kill you afterwards, Reno?" Rufus hissed in exasperation.
"You make the sweetest pillow talk, sir…"
**
Watching the scene with camera eyes from his comfortable and well hidden spot in the ventilation shaft, Cait Sith brought out some more popcorn. He wondered how long it would take for any of the men to realise that the Electric Cucumber, apart from vibrating, was now swaying gently from side to side, playing 'You are my sunshine'.