Disclaimer: I don not own Twilight, Edward, or an expensive car. –sigh-
Dearest brother Edward, read this carefully. You will not throw this away. You will not have Bella burn it.
1. You will not dismember Emmett for finger-painting your piano.
2. You will not hotwire Rosalie's car because she stole your Volvo.
3. You will not tell Esme that Alice repainted her kitchen again, even if she doesn't notice.
4. You will not help Jasper escape when Alice is "beautifying" him.
5. Nor will you help Emmett.
6. Or Carlisle.
7. Or Bella.
8. You shall not laugh when Carlisle freezes Alice's credit card account.
9. Or when he won't let Rosalie buy anymore hairdryers.
……..or your precious Volvo will need a new paint job.
10. You will not steal Emmett's jeep so you can take Bella to the movies.
11. You may not brag about your cooking skills when you won't let Rosalie make Bella dinner.
12. You shall not tell Emmett that it was Alice that took the remote, not the evil penguins.
13. You shall also not tell Emmett where she hid it.
14. You may not call yourself "the rational one"………it is untrue.
15. You will not tell Jasper that the fan girls are coming to get him.
16. You shall not tell Rosalie that her favorite pair of stone-washed jeans are "so last decade"
17. You may not call Jasper "a delicate flower"...behind his back or to his face.
18. You may not laugh at Esme when she attempts to cook Bella dinner, and the result is a carnivorous mutation.
19. You will not tell Carlisle where Alice and Rosalie are hiding when Esme mentions quality family time.
20. You shall not blame your obvious mental health problems on you siblings.
21. You may not, shall not, and will not write anymore "letters of conduct" to your sisters!
Edward, reread this and abide by. Get it, got it, good.
-Alice & Rosalie
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insert puppy dog eyes Please review! If you don't I might cry! -sob- ;D