Ronnie Mitchell
My life is a mess
One big Joke
Why should I suffer?
When I could just end it now?
My hands are shaking
Holding this blade in front of me
Knowing that have the power
To end my life
All I have ever wanted
Is a life
That's not…that's not
Hard!
I know life can be hard
But mines is unbearable
Everything I have ever wanted is gone
Gone and dead
Maybe I should just join them?
I am just staring
Just staring
Seeing nothing
Seeing no other way
There is nothing left for me in this world
No light at the end of the tunnel
Just….darkness
No laughter or any fun
Just silence… and misery
Just a never ending hell
If I could turn back time
TRUST ME
I would
Right back to before I was born
Or conceived for a matter of fact
I wish I was never born
I mean no one really thought much of me anyway
They just thought I was a cold, heartless cow
It wasn't my fault
My father made me like that
It is no excuse
It is the truth
My life is at the very edge
At tipping point
And this is how it has to be
I cant go on much longer
I haven't the strength in me
To wake up every morning
Wishing my life was over
Forcing my self to get up
Day in day out
Crying myself to sleep
I loved Jack
More than I have ever loved any man in my life
But he betrayed me several times
He never fully understood me
don't get me wrong
He did try
Most of the time
But sometimes….
Like that time I wanted a baby
He said I needed help
He didn't fully understand
But I know deep deep down he was only trying to help
He lives across the road from me now
I look out the window everyday
Seeing him pass by
But he doesn't see me
Not anymore
My daughter
Disowned me
What a surprise?
Who'd want a mother like me?
Dads doing AGAIN
He is out to ruin me
Well I disowned her first
Then I found out the truth
And confronted her
I broke her heart
And she broke mine
She wants nothing to do with me
And shes living with the Slaters
I tried going over several times
But she just slams the door in my face
Who could blame her?
There is not one thing that can keep me from staying alive
Except every day I keep wishing that Danielle would forgive me and we could be a family like it should be
But I know that is never going to happen
Because she is just like me
She holds grudges
I mean
She never really used to be like that
She had a forgiving nature
But not this time
She has changed
But I guess…..
Its my fault
No one could care if I was alive or dead?
So I may as well be dead
I glared at the blade one last time
I ran my finger down the sides
Pricking my finger at the edge
Blood oozed out
The blade in my hand
I cut into one of my wrists
And blood gushed out
It was to late I had already done it
I done the same to the other one
And blood oozed out
I started to feel faint
I felt myself collapsing
I was falling
The light…the light was fading into darkness
The light had gone……….