DICLAIMER: NAH… NOT MINE
Secrets Known
'The devil's most devilish when respectable.' Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Subaru groaned as he felt his back slam against the wall. The momentary pain was, however, easy to ignore as he twined his legs around Seishirou's hips. The older man's clever fingers were rapidly undoing the buttons of his shirt, even as he ravaged the inside of Subaru's mouth. Subaru ran his fingers through the older man's silky fine dark hair and let his head fall back under his ministrations.
The doorbell rang.
Seishirou swore furiously. Subaru made to extricate himself from the other man's embrace, but the Sakurazukamori had pinned him firmly against the wall. As the man's hand trailed down his chest, Subaru attempted to gather his thought suitably to speak,
"I…oh…oh…I ought to answer…damnit…I ought to answer the door."
Seishirou smirked and bit lightly on his neck. Subaru's head fell back and he moaned. The Sakurazukamori spoke firmly,
"If it's important, I'm sure they'll come back."
Subaru thought about this, and about Seishirou's fingers, which were rapidly undoing the buttons of his jeans and decided that the older man was most probably right. If it were important, the person at the door would come back later. Hopefully much, much later.
"You're right."
He murmured this, reaching up to kiss the older man. Then there was the sound of footsteps in the hall and they both froze. His voice soft, Seishirou whispered,
"Is there anyone who has keys to your apartment, Subaru-kun?"
Subaru thought about this and shook his head. He had been thinking about getting a set of keys for his apartment made for Kamui, but he had never gotten around to it. Then he realised what had happened and groaned against the skin of Seishirou's neck,
"I must have forgotten to lock the door."
And he didn't feel exceptionally guilty about this, as what the older man had been doing at the time had made it miraculous he had even remembered he had a door.
"It's probably just Kamui-kun anyway."
Seishirou considered this and nodded, then returned his attention to nibbling a path down Subaru's neck. Subaru flushed pink and protested,
"But…Kamui…"
And Seishirou rolled his eyes,
"Isn't exactly chaste himself."
And that statement was going firmly in with all the other statements Subaru was pretending he had never heard. Subaru's head fell back as he surrendered to the older man's confident caresses. Just as things looked as if they were about to get really interesting, a shocked voice gasped,
"What do you think you're doing with my grandson?"
And that definitely wasn't Kamui-kun, unless he'd aged several generations, changed genders and had become Subaru's grandmother. Subaru grasped and pulled away from Seishirou.
"Obaachan…"
Seishirou whispered, cool and amused,
"You really ought to have remembered to lock the door, Subaru-kun."
Gathering the remnants of his tattered dignity around him, he replied coolly,
"You were distracting me. On purpose."
And his grandmother took that moment to remind him of her presence,
"Subaru-san, have you forgotten who this man is?"
In that moment, he was furious with both of them, each treating him like a child in their own way. Coldly, he replied,
"No, I have never forgotten that."
Before Subaru's grandmother could reply to that, Seishirou intervened, seeming to sense just how close Subaru was to doing something he would regret later, no matter how amusing it might be at the time.
"Perhaps we should all sit down."
And the look Subaru shot him was so grateful that it was almost worth what he knew would be an extremely torturous interview with the former head of the Sumeragi clan. But the looks that his young lover's grandmother was shooting him were so acidic that he decided that he hadn't entirely forgiven Subaru-kun yet. The younger onmyouji would have to make it up to him, once they had gotten rid of his grandmother, of course.
Watching in dismay as the taller man steered his grandmother through into the living room, Subaru murmured weakly,
"I'll just go…put on some tea."
The atmosphere in the environment was tense. Seishirou was doing his best 'I'm just a humble veterinarian' impression and was calmly drinking tea with Subaru's grandmother. Subaru could have quite happily strangled him. The younger man was pacing, drinking black coffee and smoking. Once the Sumeragi had smoked half a packet of cigarettes, Seishirou rose from where he was sitting and crossed to the younger man, putting his hand on his shoulders. Subaru whirled around,
"Don't disrupt me, I'm fuming."
Seishirou winced slightly,
"Because you're obviously extremely stressed, I'm going to ignore that truly terrible pun."
Subaru looked confused for a moment, obviously not having recognised his poor choice of words. Smiling at how cute the younger man looked at that moment, Seishirou slid a guiding arm around his waist. Speaking too softly to be heard by the furious woman on the couch, Seishirou murmured,
"Put down that noxious substance you're drinking and come and have some tea."
Still looking adorably confused, Subaru looked down at the 'noxious substance' in question and murmured,
"This is your coffee, Seishirou-san."
Seishirou nodded, unperturbed,
"Yes, it is. So I am in the best position to know exactly how vile it is."
Putting the cup down, Subaru allowed himself to be led across to the couch, sinking into the older man's possessive embrace. Lady Sumeragi shot the assassin a furious glare when her grandson was not looking, Seishirou just smirked at her over Subaru's head. Subaru took a fortifying sip of tea and then calmly asked,
"Obaachan, to what occasion do I owe the honour of your presence?"
The old woman actually looked hurt, though she disguised it well in the presence of the 'enemy'. Then she composed herself and answered,
"I heard about the…incident, and what happened to your eye."
Subaru winced. The loss of his eye was still a sore sport, both literally and figuratively. He still couldn't adjust to his vision, which was now flat and planar. But worse than that was what Seishirou-san had said to him at the hospital. The older man had been furious, with him, with Kamui, with Nataku, with /Kamui, with just about everyone. He had called Subaru a 'damned fool' who 'deserved everything he got for being such an idiot'.
Lady Sumeragi was speaking,
"Why didn't you contact me at once? How do you think I felt having to hear about my grandson's injury from a colleague and not from you? Why did you let the incident occur? Just because you have turned your back on your family doesn't mean that the family has turned its back on you, or that you can deny your responsibilities to your family…"
"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH"
Seishirou's voice was coldly furious and Subaru flinched in his embrace. Seishirou rubbed the younger man's back soothingly, allowing him to see that it was not him he was angry with, letting the younger man collect himself. Subaru spoke then, his voice controlled,
"I have not turned my back on my family, nor my responsibilities as Clan Head. I am in Tokyo fulfilling my duty as one the Ten no Ryu, as is my duty to do so."
Subaru spoke with quiet dignity, but his answer did not appease Lady Sumeragi. Her voice was acidic when she spat back her reply,
"Your duty. How can you say you are fulfilling your duty while you continue this travesty of a relationship with this man, one of the Chi no Ryu, the Sakurazukamori, the man who murdered your sister? This abomination that the two of you enact is well known and by allowing it to continue, you bring disgrace upon yourself and your family. This will not be endured any longer."
Seishirou stiffened with fury, but Subaru spoke before he could, his voice icy with restrained anger,
"I am the head of the family now, obaasan, my actions are my own not yours to control. I will endure my relationships at my own behest, not anyone else's. And my relationship with Seishirou-san is none of your concern. But, incidentally, I do not consider it to be a betrayal. No one is ever in the position to decide whether or not to fall in love with someone, it just happens."
Before either the stunned Lady Sumeragi or Seishirou could think of anything to say in response to this, a tremulous voice quavered in from the hallway,
"Am I…interrupting, Subaru-san?"
Subaru frowned at the repressed pain in the younger boy's voice,
"Of course not, Kamui-kun, what's the matter?"
Kamui's pale and bruised face appeared in the doorway,
"I just…just wanted some aspirin…I left my wallet back at the CLAMP campus."
On seeing Kamui, Subaru was on his feet and crossing to the younger boy's side in an instant. The boy was shaking slightly where he stood, as if his legs were unable to support his weight. His clothes were rumpled and torn in places and he had lost his jacket at some point. His shirt was gaping open at the neck and more bruises, scratches, cuts and what looked like bites were visible on his pale chest and neck. There was a streak of blood across his right cheek.
Subaru reached out to support him, but Kamui flinched away slightly, so Subaru just asked,
"What happened, did Fuuma attack you again?"
Kamui laughed, a dry un-amused chuckle that was entirely too old for the boy,
"I suppose you could say that."
"Why did you come to me? They have better medical facilities back at the campus."
Kamui frowned,
"Just need some aspirin, that's all. Besides, Yuzuriha's at the mansion, I didn't want her to see me like this, nor any of the others, they might ask questions. But it's nothing, just cuts and bruises, that's all."
"No it's not."
Seishirou had risen from the couch and crossed to the doorway to look Kamui in the eye. The younger boy didn't seem at all surprised to see the Sakurazukamori in Subaru's apartment, which made the onmyouji wonder for a moment, but he had more pressing concerns than why Kamui wasn't surprised at the older man's presence. Such as how badly injured Kamui really was and why he was trying to hide it.
"Do you want to sit down?"
Kamui flinched at that question and shook his head. Seishirou looked him over dispassionately and then asked,
"Are you torn?"
Kamui flushed a brilliant scarlet, but replied,
"No. Like I said, it's just bruising."
The older man rolled his eyes,
"You're definition of 'fine' and everyone else's definitions of 'fine' tend to vary quite significantly."
Kamui looked away, embarrassed. He finally murmured,
"If it would be possible, Subaru-san, could I maybe use your shower?"
Subaru nodded, still confused as to what had happened to Kamui, why Seishirou-san seemed to know about it, and what /Kamui/ had to do with it all.
Just before Kamui disappeared into the bathroom, Subaru managed to collect himself enough to say,
"I'll get you some clothes to change into, yours are ruined."
Kamui looked both grateful and embarrassed and Subaru wondered what had happened to the younger boy this time to make him so uncertain. Then he entered his bedroom and crossed to the closet where he kept his clothes, hoping to find something that would fit the younger boy. Fortunately, he managed to find some jeans and a polo-neck that he had bought when Hokuto-chan hadn't been looking; they were both black, a colour than she had hated, particularly as he wore so much of it.
Wondering why he had kept this outfit, he had thrown out almost everything he owned from the Year of the Bet, he crossed to the bathroom and placed the pile of clothes outside the door. As he did so, he dislodged a crumbled photograph that had been left in the pocket of the jeans. Unfolding the photo and smoothing the creases from it, he didn't hear Seishirou coming up behind him.
He looked at the photo and realised exactly why he had kept the clothes. The photo was a candid one, and not one he remembered being taken, so Hokuto-chan must have taken it when he wasn't looking. Looking at himself, it was obvious that he wouldn't have noticed if a hoard of angry poltergeists had started attacking, so Hokuto-chan being able to take the photo without him noticing was easy enough. The photo showed him and Seishirou-san eating ice-cream together, and talking about something. The Subaru in the photo was utterly focussed on the older man, and the look on his face was something a lot like love.
"You were so cute back then, Subaru-kun."
Subaru started and then flushed, turning to face the older man who had been standing quietly behind him. Then he realised there was something he hadn't asked, something he had to ask,
"Was it so bad? That year I mean, you didn't hate it, did you?"
For a moment, Subaru thought that the older man wasn't going to answer, that he wouldn't say anything. Then Seishirou replied,
"It wasn't so bad, Subaru-kun, it wasn't so bad at all."
Subaru practically sagged against the closed bathroom door. Then, as if the door had reminded him, he asked,
"What's happened to Kamui, how do you know about…"
Before his interrogation could continue, Seishirou silenced Subaru with a kiss that left him breathless and thoroughly distracted, which was probably his intention. Before Subaru could regain his breath, or his brain, enough to formulate another question, Seishirou said, firmly,
"Kamui will tell you what he wants you to know when he wants you to know it."
Then, with a firm grip on the younger man's shoulders, Seishirou steered him back into the lounge. When they re-entered, Lady Sumeragi was still sitting on the couch, with fury and curiosity warring obviously on her face. As soon as Seishirou had gently pushed Subaru down onto the couch, she turned on him,
"Who was that?"
Subaru sighed, knowing that he, unlike Seishirou-san, would be unable to escape the impending inquisition. He replied,
"That's Kamui, obaachan."
The older woman looked startled,
"He's certainly not what I expected. He's so…"
Lady Sumeragi trailed off, seemingly uncertain as to what to say. Subaru finished her statement dryly, and slightly bitterly, though if for himself or for Kamui he was uncertain,
"He's so young, obaachan."
The older woman nodded silently, seemingly unable to think of anything else to say, or any more criticisms to make at that moment.
Forty minutes later, Kamui emerged from the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. The clothes Subaru had lent him hung loose on his frame, causing Subaru to become concerned. He had always been slender as a teen, so much so that Hokuto-chan had always been concerned that he wasn't getting enough to eat, but Kamui was practically emaciated. He made a mental note to keep an eye on how much the younger boy was eating.
Kamui was barefoot and his feet made no sound to disrupt the silence of the room. Nonetheless, all three of the room's occupants looked up when he entered the room, with looks of curiosity, concern and disinterest on their respective faces.
Kamui looked around uncertainly and then spoke,
"Thanks for the shower and the clothes, I'll get them back to you but I really ought to be going now…"
Subaru was just about to veto that idea on the grounds that Kamui was in no condition to be going anywhere, the boy was still trembling where he stood, but Seishirou beat him to it,
"Don't be ridiculous. He's obviously in a foul temper and you're in no condition to be going back to him under any circumstances, but especially not if he's as angry as he obviously is."
Kamui like he might protest, but the glare the assassin fixed him with was enough to make him shut up and sit down immediately. Seishirou nodded in satisfaction at that and then continued speaking,
"What happened, I thought he was getting more level?"
Kamui nodded resignedly,
"He was, but Kanoe's got PMS or something and she's in a really bad mood and it's affecting him."
Seishirou sighed,
"Just how bad a mood?"
Kamui smirked slightly,
"Really bad. But I wouldn't want to spoil the experience for you, you're bound to hear all about it, at length."
Seishirou looked an extraordinary mix of resigned and nervous,
"Why?"
Kamui's smirk widened wickedly,
"He's moved into your spare room."
The assassin groaned,
"Doesn't he have his own place?"
Kamui nodded, unperturbed,
"Yes, but then he has to see Kanoe all the time, so he stays in yours."
There was a moment of quiet, disrupted only by the sounds of Seishirou's continued groaning, then Kamui spoke again,
"He wants to speak to you about something."
Seishirou looked at Kamui,
"What about?"
Kamui shrugged,
"I didn't ask, he just said he wanted to talk to you."
"Yes he did."
At the sound of /Kamui/'s voice, Subaru gasped slightly and Kamui paled, but Seishirou rolled his eyes,
"How long have you been standing there waiting for the opportunity to say that?"
/Kamui/ scowled but admitted,
"Since the discussion of Kanoe's PMS."
Seishirou snickered behind his hand. /Kamui/ glared at him. Seishirou spoke before he could say anything,
"So how bad is the PMS?"
/Kamui/ groaned and rolled his eyes,
"God, she's such a bitch…"
Before /Kamui/ could say anything else, Seishirou interrupted,
"I was talking about yours."
/Kamui/'s expression was suddenly hard.
"You'll do well to watch yourself, Sakurazukamori. You'll find you're not unexpendable."
Seishirou remained unperturbed,
"I think you'll find that I am."
/Kamui/'s gaze then flicked to Subaru,
"Not so much."
As Subaru shifted under the glare of /Kamui, Seishirou's expression hardened. When he spoke, his voice was soft and dangerous.
"You'll do well to keep away from what does not belong to you/Kamui/"
/Kamui/'s expression suddenly lightened, and he looked back at Seishirou, the familiar smirk back in place,
"You never were taught how to share your toys, were you?"
Subaru flushed angrily, but, surprisingly enough, Kamui reached out to touch his hand warningly and shake his head. Seishirou spoke evenly, not even glancing at Subaru.
"I was an only child. But I bet you broke all your toys, didn't you?"
/Kamui/ shrugged lazily,
"Yeah, but I always fixed them again afterwards."
Seishirou scowled,
"You can't continue this indefinitely."
/Kamui/'s scowl matched Seishirou's,
"I don't have to. When the Promised Day comes, one of us will die. It is fore destined."
Seishirou rolled his eyes,
"Did Kanoe tell you that?"
/Kamui/ scowled furiously but said nothing, the answer was an obvious affirmative. Subaru shifted uncomfortably, beginning to get an idea of what was going on. Kamui sat there, pretending there was nobody else in the room, and doing a pretty good job of acting like nothing was going on. Seishirou continued unrelentingly,
"Are you going to be Kanoe's bitch for the entirety of the rest of your life, or just until the Promised Day? Or are you actually going to do something about getting what you want out of life?"
/Kamui/'s glare sharpened and he looked to be about to say something, but Seishirou continued before he could interrupt.
"You don't get to chose who you fall in love with. Chance's are you'll fall for the last person you ought to. All you get to choose is whether to accept what you're feeling and to act on it, or to pretend you don't feel what you do and end up making the biggest mistake of your life."
Subaru fell off his chair. Lady Sumeragi gaped, Kamui's gaze moved from counting the cracks on the ceiling to Fuuma's face. /Kamui/'s glare softened slightly. Seishirou smirked at them all. He turned his eyes to where Subaru was getting up off the floor, flushed with embarrassment.
"Don't think that you're the only one who gets to make entirely inappropriately timed declarations of love."
Subaru could not say anything, merely gape at the assassin, vaguely aware that everyone in the room was doing the same. Finally he managed to get up from where he had fallen to the floor, feeling the blush burning on his cheeks that had been his curse since the years of his youth. With some effort, Subaru managed to regain enough control of his voice to squeak,
"You…love me?"
Seishirou smiled at him, gently, kindly and for once entirely honestly. When the assassin spoke, his voice was gentler than Subaru could ever remember it being,
"If our lives were ours to live entirely as we chose, I would never leave your side, Subaru-kun."
/Kamui/ rolled his eyes and smirked,
"You let your feelings for him make you weak."
Seishirou shook his head,
"My love for Subaru-kun makes me stronger. It is your denial of your feelings that makes you weak. Nothing has any meaning if you deny the purpose of your actions."
Fuuma seemed oddly uncertain,
"But he is my gemini…"
Subaru spoke up then,
"If we only loved the people we were supposed to, then we wouldn't fall in love with anyone. Part of love is being utterly out of control."
Subaru rose from where he was seated and crossed to the Sakurazukamori's side, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist in a gesture of solidarity. Kamui then roused himself from the daze he had fallen into and rose from his seat to cross to Fuuma's side. Attempting to control his instinctive fear as he drew near to the older boy, Kamui demurely but determinedly pulled Fuuma into a lose embrace. In a soft but steady voice, Kamui spoke,
"I am sorry I left this morning, but you scared me and I needed to come somewhere safe."
Fuuma scowled, but there was little real anger in the expression, more petulance,
"You needed to feel safe, so you came to where the Sakurazukamori is?"
Kamui pouted slightly,
"I didn't even know he'd be here, but he's patched me up before when I haven't been in any condition to be able to move."
This comment explained to Subaru why Kamui and Seishirou hadn't seemed surprised to see each other, but cast more light than he wanted on Seishirou-san's earlier question to Kamui about tearing. Apparently/Kamui/ thought this as well, as he turned slightly concerned eyes to Kamui,
"How often do you need to get patched up, afterwards?"
Kamui flushed slightly and answered vaguely,
"Not so much, recently."
Guilt flickered uncomfortably over /Kamui/'s face and then he scowled,
"I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, it goes against our entire destiny."
Kamui was momentarily stunned by this love declaration, as reluctant as it was, but he recovered admirably,
"I didn't exactly plan on loving you either, in fact my life would be a whole lot less complicated if I could just hate you, but I don't, you bastard, I love you and you can't eve-"
As Kamui's speech began to become more hysterical, Fuuma stopped him mid-flow by trapping his mouth in a passionate, consuming kiss. Reluctantly, overcome by the all too human need to breath, Kamui pulled away slightly, his cheeks flushed pink and his breathing accelerated.
"I…you bastard…you always do this to me…"
/Kamui/'s smirk was mocking, but not as cruel as it usually was, and Kamui seemed unwilling to move far from his side. The younger boy wrapped an arm around his childhood friend's waist and leant his head on the other boy's shoulder. After a few moments, Kamui turned to Subaru and smiled,
"I…we'd better be going now. Thank you for the aspirin and the change of clothes, Subaru-kun. Sumeragi-sama, it was a pleasure to meet you."
And with that, Kamui smiled in a seraphic manner at the room in general and aloud the older boy to guide him firmly from the apartment, the two of them conversing in soft whispers as they went. After the two had left, Subaru turned on Seishirou with a glare,
"You knew about this?"
Seishirou nodded, seemingly ignoring Subaru's furious glare,
"Yes I did. I knew Kamui would tell you when he was ready to and I wasn't going to rush him."
Subaru sighed and accepted this explanation as the only one he was likely to get. Then his grandmother spoke from where she was still seated on the couch,
"I'll leave the two of you in peace now. Do feel free to come and visit me at some time, both of you."
Subaru smiled delightedly at his grandmother, knowing that this was the closest he was going to get as an acceptance of his relationship with Seishirou-san from her. Impulsively he crossed the room to her side, wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her on the cheek. Blushing slightly, he pulled away and he and Seishirou-san helped her from the apartment and down to her car.
When they returned up to the partner, Seishirou made a special point of looking the door, and Subaru felt his cheeks flushing as the man turned his attention back to him. In a low rumbling voice that burned down Subaru's spine, the older man spoke, advancing on Subaru, who was slowly and unknowingly backing towards the wall which he had been pressed against earlier,
"Now, Subaru-kun, where were we…"
NEVER THE END