Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters.
Two boys sat together in a café.
While they were seated face-to-face, neither was looking the other in the eye. This was because they both had their heads bowed in a mix of exhaustion, desperation, and…despair.
To most, they were both average youths. If it was possible, one looked even more average than the other.
The shorter of the two, had a dark jacket on while the taller of the two was wearing a white dress shirt.
Both also sported outrageously large cowlicks.
The taller of the two was known as Hajime Hinata.
He was a reserve course student of Hope's Peak Academy, one of the many hundreds. He was an ordinary boy, one without talent in any field.
However, one day he was able to become friends with a main course student and, in succession, the girl's whole class (minus one annoying guy).
His problem however was he may have been a but too gung-ho about it.
USAMI DOKI DOKI LOVE LOVE STATUS
Nanami Chiaki - (￣ρ￣)..zzZZ
Owari Akane - (o^▽^o)
Koizumi Mahiru - (´ღ‿ღ`)
Tsumiki Mikan - (o^▽^o)
Mioda Ibuki - (o^▽^o)
Alarm bells rang as each name showed a glowing bomb next to it.
The shorter boy next to him was his underclassman, Makoto Naegi.
Unlike Hajime, the boy had a talent, if you could call being picked in a lottery one. He was the Ultimate Luckster who was 'supposed' to be extremely lucky. 'Supposed' as, from all Hajime knew of him, he was pretty average. Naegi was a far cry from the luckster Hajime knew who seemed to be able to understand how to manipulate luck. The only thing the boy seemed to have was some optimism and friendliness.
Well, maybe Hajime would retract his previous statement if he were to remember Naegi's current situation which was much like Hajime's own. If there was any proof of the boy's luck, whether it was good or bad, it was the small boy's predicament.
MONOKUMA BADUMP BADUMP WOO WOO STATUS
Kirigiri Kyoko - ღ(˘⌣˘ )
Maizono Sayaka - (´ღ‿ღ`)
Asahina Aoi - (o^▽^o)
Celeste Lundenburg - (o^▽^o)
Naegi Komaru - (o^▽^o)
Ikusaba Mukuro - ┬┴┬┴┤_ღ`)
Enoshima Junko - ʕ •̀ ᴥ ~ ʔ
If alarm bells were ringing for Hajime's chart, klaxons fitting for a nuclear shutdown wouldn't be out of place for Naegi's.
As one, the two (play)boys sighed, their head's falling. Hajime let his fall on his right palm while Naegi grabbed his own with his two hands.
"I can't believe all my dates are clashing…" muttered Hajime as his gaze darted around the empty table in front of him as if it provided the answer to all his problems.
It unfortunately didn't,
Normally, this would never have happened. Besides Nanami, it was rare for anyone to approach him on their own. Even then, Nanami was as passive as they come when they did hang out. For everyone to ask him on different days, on different times, and for Hajime to not notice they were all on the same date was like some sort of forced and contrived coincidence.
Like an exceptional case of bad…luck….
"I've got it!"
"KOMAEDA!" Hajime screamed as one fist slammed into the table. It was like he could actually hear that Hope lunatic's laugh.
"You've got that wrong"
Another fist slammed into the table as Naegi spoke up. "It's not Komaeda-sempai's fault. It's Hajime-san's own fault for being unfaithful!"
"Allow me to cut through those words"
This time it was Hajime who countered Naegi. "But Naegi-san, your dates are clashing too."
"No…that's…," The shorter boy recoiled at Hajime's words. "I just wanted to make everyone happy and help them out. I didn't even realize they were all on the same day until the end. I can't even reschedule them due to all their specific circumstances. But there's nothing wrong with tightening friendships."
"Don't give me that crap," Hajime just sighed in annoyance at the platitudes Naegi spouted. He leaned his cheek against his palm.
"I'm serious!"
"But," Hajime looked up at his underclassman with bored knowing eyes. "isn't your girl the Ultimate Detective? Do you really thing such things would work on a person who favors logic, proof, and reason?"
"Is that all have to say?" If there was a cold that could match the eyes and tone of Kirigiri Kyoko, it could only be found in the destination of the rocket she had strapped Naegi in: Space or perhaps the embrace of death."
"I…I don't know." Naegi shivered in fear and perhaps if he was an esper, in premonition. He knew only despair awaited him on this path but…but…if there was only despair, then all he had to do was be the first to hope! "I really don't know…but I can't lose hope!"
"Hope in the face of death, huh?" Hajime stared off to the side of the boy to glance around the café they were in. It was thankfully empty. "If death could solve this, I wouldn't mind dying."
"Eh?"
He turned his head back to the front and gazed wistfully at the space above Naegi (Which wasn't that hard due to the height of the boy.) Hajime murmured, "I'm sure there's something worse than dying in store for me."
'Ne, Hajime-kun. I found a new game we could play." Nanami Chiaki looked the same as ever but there was an odd edge to her voice and her eyes looked a bit too out of focus. "All you have to do is write your name in the blanks in this contract. It's a fun game of replacing the current cheating Hajime with one that finds everyone but Chiaki boring. C'mon, Hajime-kun, sign the paper. Even Komaeda-kun agree."
Hajime continued staring into space as Naegi across him trembled in horror.
"T-that's way too scary, Hajime-san."
"Well, she's the ultimate gamer after all. Cheating of any kind is prohibited. That's why...we have to create our own Future!"
Hajime smashed the table once again but this time the table seemed to fold upwards and unravel into a large white board, knocking to the floor their drinks and Naegi who was leaning on it.
With speed unbefitting someone as talentless as he was, Hajime started writing on the white board with a black marker.
"ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DATE PLAN"
He beat the board with the flat of his palm as he stood confident. "Our Future is one we should grab ourselves! So we've got to come up with a timetable to avoid getting killed!"
Naegi beamed up to the taller boy in awe.
An unknown amount of time later.
"It's done."
With one last squeak, Naegi took a few steps back from the board. He crossed his arms, mirroring Hinata who stood next to him.
Both looked at the board with extreme pride and satisfaction.
Naegi spoke first to explain his plan.
"I'll wake up at 5, no 4 am."
"So early!"
"I'll start my promise to do stakeout and sniper training with Ikusaba-san in early morning. I'll have her hide somewhere at the courtyard of the school and try to find her with my rifle. Thankfully, she's the Ultimate Soldier so she wouldn't mind waking up that early. At the same time, I'm going to help Maizono-san prepare for her concert in the afternoon while at the same time practicing with Oogami-san and Asahina-san."
"What? but how?"
"The location."
"I see!" Hajime stroked his chin. "The top floor of the building contains the dojo and some spare rooms."
"Maizono-san will have to leave around 8 am which will also be when I could finish Oogami-san and Asahina-san's morning exercises. The two will need to time to prepare for our double date at 9 am which gives me enough time to go to Celes-san. I feel bad for disappearing on Ikusaba-san but she'll keep waiting for me till I get back to shoot her."
"What a plan. Are you sure you're only the Ultimate Luckster?"
"It gets even better" Naegi pumped his fist in determination.
"I'll use that time to meet up with Celes-san at a day-long mahjong tournament. I'll lose on purpose and take note of the time's between her matches to cheer her on. Since she's the ultimate gambler, she won't ever lose so I'll know when and where ever she's there."
"Impressive."
"By 9 am, I would then meet up with Asahina-san for our double date with Fukawa-san and Togami-san. We'll start at the movies where I would disappear so I could go shopping with Enoshima-san. Can you guess where we'll go in the afternoon."
Hajime thought about it and…
"AM_S_ME_T _A_K
"I got it!" Hajime nodded. "The amusement park, right? But didn't you schedule to meet with your sister there as well?"
"Yep! We'll have the second part of our date there. As for Komaru, I'll get Fukawa-san to distract her when I need to leave."
"She won't tattle?"
"She'll cooperate as long as she can continue her date with Togami-san! I can then watch Sayaka-san's concert with the girls and also meet-up with her. In beteen, I can go and reach Celes-san's games by saying I got lost."
"I agree with that" Hajime consented. "People get lose all the time in amusement parks. What flawless logic. I didn't expect this devilish side of you, Naegi-san."
"Well, you're pretty devilish yourself, Hajime-san," replied Naegi as he took in Hajime's own plan. "Making Nanami-san go back at noon."
Hajime nodded. "If I spend the whole morning in the arcade with Nanami, she'll be too tired to do anything and will be asleep by lunch."
Naegi nodded knowing the girl's tendency to fall asleep.
Hajime continued. "Near the arcade, a restaurant happens to be hosting an all-you-can-eat buffet that day. I'll take Owari there."
The luckster questioned this logic. "You can't make her stay at a restaurant for five hours. You're not Yamada-san facing a deadline in the last hour."
Hajime just smirked and told him a truth. "Owari…is always hungry. Especially with a classmate's help in working the buffet."
T_r_t_r_
"Now I understand" Naegi exclaimed. "If the ultimate cook is there, than the quality and speed in cooking is guaranteed."
"Meanwhile, I'll go shopping with Mahiru in the mall in between Chiaki's long gaming sessions."
"So it's the same situation like Celes-san?"
"Right. She's that good it may be possible she'll be at a single fighting machine the whole morning." Hajime nodded. "In the afternoon, we'll go to the amusement park, as well. Mikan is helping out in the first-aid tent and I'll pop in and out while I go around with Koizumi.
"But what about Ibuki-san, Hajime-san?." He pointed to a line that reached throughout the whole day. "It says here you're hanging out with her the whole day"
Hajime smiled. "Teruteru is not my only friend Naegi-san."
Naegi looked down and thought hard before replying,
It was somewhat unfair that Hajime could use such a person but-
"Here's my answer" Naegi looked up again, pinching his chin. "The Ultimate Imposter?"
"Correct. Although, Naegi-san, you seem to have the same problem." He pointed to Naegi's timeline which too had a long whole day strand. "Did you happen to forget, or did just gave up?"
Naegi hesitated before fierce determination filled his eyes.
"Hope keeps on going!" Naegi traced the long line that was throughout the whole day. "You see, Hajime-san. I'm going to be with Kirigiri-san the whole day!"
"W-what?!" Hajime had to recoil from the sheer implausibility. If anyone was the hardest to slip past, it was be the detective. "But how?"
"I've been assisting Kirgiri-san for a long time now and I believe I know her investigation habits and interests. So I'm going to fake a case and leave clues in the areas I go to and we'll split-up investigating each time! I'll ask for Nanami-san's help in creating it."
"That must be it" exclaimed Hajime as he realized how Naegi's plan would help him out as well. "Making the fake case will help tire Nanami-san out as well!"
"That's right!"
"Alright we've got this!"
"Yeah, we've got this!"
Both boys turned their gaze to the board to fully grasp their perfect plan. With fierce smiles and determined gazes, they admired what could only be the perfect combination of time management, organization…logic…hope…and…simplicity…
…
…
…
It was Naegi that spoke first and Hajime that finished.
"Hey, isn't this kinda…"
"…impossible?"
Passing through, a certain Ultimate Maid who was working part time at the cafe nodded.
"WE'RE SCREWED!"
"TOTALLY"
"Aren't they just jerks?"
Both boys squatted low on the floor, holding their heads in their hands, as if they knew said heads were about to be separated from their bodies soon.
"I don't think it'll go well no matter what we do."
"We can't lose hope. What should we do?"
"What can we do? Our future is clear."
"Must we prepare for the worst…"
"In that case…"
1. Date Everyone
2. Date the Main Heroine
3. [Locked] Get help from another protagonist
4. [Locked] Get help from an antagonist
5. [Hidden]
AN:This can clearly only end in a class trial and execution. Now let's see which will they go for first.
The other characters not mentioned will pop up as well cause, of course, nothing will ever go as planned. I'll try to include as many as possible although I'm still somewhat unfamiliar with V3's cast. I know Naegi and Hajime are kinda OOC but you'd never really see them do this kind of thing anyways.
You know the problem with the original plans that Shirou and Shiki came up with was that they wanted to do it the whole day when they could just chill them for a bit of the day at least. Though I guess date's can't really last like 3 hours or something.
Also, I'm just winging what comes next.
Red curtains part to reveal a simple wooden stage. The backdrop consisted of an image of Hope's Peak academy. Cardboard Stars and moon hang from the ceilign with visible wires.
Suddenly clapping.
Three girls enter stage right, bowed low.
The first is a blonde with short hair and a black headband.
The second is a glasses-wearing brunette with a short boyish cut.
The last one is another brunnete with a black ribbon addorning her head.
When they all reached their positions, they snapped in unison and pointed at the audience.
"Sidemat Heroine Alliance!"
"Right! Right!" Glasses started first as she pumped her arms. "Today, we're going to talk about our partners. I was partnered with a young Kirigiri-san. She really didn't express much but she was cute. What about you Asano-san?"
Suddenly, the blonde-Asano saluted, her face extremely serious. "Hai! I was partnered with Takumi-san! He didn't express much either but he killed a lot of people!"
"K-killed?" Yui flinched back. "So you're partner progtag is a serial killer or something?"
"Of Justice!" the girl yelled again, still saluting.
Yui was about to retort but she then felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Choberipa" said Kanon in an emotionless tone.
As one they snapped,
"Sidemat Heroine Alliance!"
"W-well, then have you ever given anything to your partner then?" Yui asked trying to get the train back on track. "I once gave Kyoko-san an in vitro rose. I think she really liked it!"
"My life." was the simple reply of the blonde girl.
"Eh?"
"We did a lovers suicide. So I gave him my life. I wouldn't know if he liked it as we were both dead."
"..."
"..."
"..."
A hand patted Yui's shoulder. "Choberipa"
As one they snapped,
"Sidemat Heroine Alliance!"
The curtain closes down on the three.
"I think that went great!"
"Hey, Kanon-chan, why didn't you talk about your protag partner."
"...Mine was Hagakure."