So, this is a new oneshot, completely random, and is a great filler to work with while "Say it with Sunflowers" is still in progress.
Enjoy reading! Also this is my first Humor fic, so I have no idea how I'll fare in terms of comedy.
Toon Link went about his daily routine in the house he shared with Young Link and their older counterpart.
While preparing his bowl of cereal for breakfast, he began singing a tune as he was pouring his milk down in the bowl. The tune in question was an old shanty that he familiarized himself with during his time with Tetra's crew.
"William Taylor was a brisk young sailor
Full of heart and full of play
Till his mind he did uncover-"
His singing was interrupted by an erratic knock on the door. Now, he didn't expect that anyone would be knocking on the door at this time. It was early morning, after all, and Toonie's two other counterparts were still asleep in the living room. So the cel-shaded Hylian took the initiative of opening the door, and much to his surprise, an almost-middle aged man with brunette hair and a forest green bandana was on the doorstep.
"Snake?" Toonie asked, a bit surprised by his arrival. "What brings you-"
But before that question could be fully recited, Snake was already rushing in the doorway, and once fully inside, turned to look at Toon Link. The man seemed frantic.
"Kid, close the door! Right now!"
Without hesitation, Toon Link instantly pushed the door shut. As soon as he did that, he felt something burning collide with the wooden frame. The Hylian turned to look at Snake.
"What did you do this time, Snake?" Toonie asked, almost shooting him a death glare.
Snake didn't reply right away. He was still on guard, even if he looked like he ran a distance. Then he noticed Toonie staring him down, and so he was forced to give out an answer.
"Let's just say I went on a mission, and it backfired. Horribly."
Toon Link face palmed. It was one of those missions of the veteran soldier, in which he tries to get information on fighters via stealth. Some instances they were successful, others went nowhere, and a select few were those that went down horribly. From the looks of it, this mission was perfectly in the third category.
"Whom did you try to stalk this time?" Toonie inquired.
"I wasn't stalking, kid." Snake responded defensively. "I was trying to follow people to collect information discretely."
"That's pretty much the same thing, Mister." Toon Link deadpanned. He turned to look at the living room, and in spite of the noise that occurred, his two other counterparts were miraculously still asleep. The door was still intact, despite the flames (thank the Goddesses the all-purpose elixir worked), and so far it was still a bit calm.
"Hey, Snake," Toon Link began. "I have to go eat breakfast. You wouldn't mind, right?"
"Not at all, kid." Snake replied.
"Good, make yourself comfortable." Toonie said in response, still not completely over the fact that Snake just barged into the house to take cover from something. But from what? He was intent on finding out in a few minutes.
So the young Hylian made his way to the breakfast table, where his cereal was waiting for him. Snake followed suit, sitting on a chair from across the kid. It became silent for a while, Toonie eating spoonfuls of his meal as Snake simply sat still, appearing alert from that little excursion he had getting to the Links's house. After a little bit of time has passed, Toonie inquired to the older man, breaking the silence:
"So, who were you stalking-"
"Ahem." the soldier interrupted.
"Sorry, discretely following to collect information?" Toonie corrected sardonically, as he chewed his cereal.
Scratching his head a bit, Snake replied. "The Koopa King, and the Charizard."
Toonie chewed up his spoonful of cereal, and swallowed it in surprise. "Are you kidding me? You know how Chari hates being bothered or stalked."
"I know! Just that after I was done collecting info from the big Koopa, I made it a challenge to watch how Charizard fights." Snake said, uptight in his response.
"And that's why the door felt like there was fire?" Toonie inquired.
"Yeah..." Snake trailed off.
"What happened?" the Hylian asked. At this point, he was halfway into his breakfast.
"Well...Charizard caught me watching him while he was doing one of his moves..." the soldier recounted. "...and he just started breathing fire everywhere."
The implications of that statement didn't take too long for Toon Link to guess the situation. "So Chari's outside right now, burning everything in his path in an attempt to get you."
"Exactly."
Silence, then:
"...Crap." Toon Link uttered, aware that everything will go down in complete chaos if nothing was to be done.
"Don't fret about it, kid, I've got something for this." Snake declared, digging in his duffel bag for the item he needed. He pulled the item out, and said item was...
A toy water gun. Just...a toy water gun. Toonie was not amused.
"Really?" Toon Link deadpanned.
"Hey, water beats fire in a Pokemon battle, right?" Snake said. "So we just have to douse him with this baby." He pointed at the water gun.
"I'm not entirely sure that 'baby' of yours will finish the job." Toon Link commented, knowing that it won't be enough to subdue Charizard's fire.
The cel-shaded Hero of Winds immediately got off his seat, cereal forgotten, went up to his room for a few moments. When those moments had passed, Toonie quickly went upstairs for a few moments. When those few moments passed, the Hylian immediately rushed back downstairs with a blue staff with a dewdrop-like piece on top.
"This will help." Toon Link said, holding out his weapon. "The Water Rod can make pillars of torrential water that could stop Chari's rampage."
"Excellent. Let's head out!" Snake exclaimed determinedly.
The Hero of Winds and the veteran soldier instantly barged out the door, ready to take on the currently berserk Pokemon, all the while Link and Young Link were still miraculously asleep in the living room in spite of the obvious noise of the door.
"Now where's Charizard?" Snake asked as they quickly scoped the area, which apparently had plenty of makeshift bonfires from the rampaging Charizard.
The sudden burst of flames coming from the nearby houses provided the answer.
"Let's go!" Toon Link rushed ahead of Snake, to the area where the flames were still burning, readying his Water Rod. With a wave of the magic item, a pillar of water burst up, dousing up the fire at once. A roar caught the attention of both Snake and Toon Link, and the former soon found himself face to face with Charizard himself.
"Charizard," Snake began, maintaining his cool. "Loved what you done to the street." Said street was nearly burnt to the ground if not for Toon Link, who was currently extinguishing the fires just a few steps away.
"Snake, this is no time for compliments!" Toonie called out. "Just calm him down!"
"Okay, kid! Sheesh." Snake replied snappily. He drew out his water gun, and cocked it like with an actual gun. Charizard just looked neutral in response.
"Alright, fire Pokemon, I'll put you in your place." Snake boasted, aiming at the Fire-type.
Charizard roared, and in a flash, the two rushed at each other, starting the brawl.
Later...
Toon Link finished putting out the last of the flames, all the while Charizard and Snake were still duking it out, the latter constantly reloading his water guns as he did so. The Hylian just sighed, and proceeded to walk back to his house. Snake was too busy fighting the Fire-type to notice.
The cel-shaded Hero soon reached his house, and entered once again. Upon entering, he was met with the sight of Young Link and Link stretching their limbs, indicating that they just woke up.
"You two seemed to have a good sleep." Toon Link commented.
"Yeah, we really needed to have that full rest after last night." Young Link replied, flexing his arms.
"Did anything happen while were sleeping, Toonie?" Link asked, yawning. He pointed at the water rod that the Hero of Winds was still holding. "It seems like you were using the Water Rod for something."
"...Just wanted to give the plants a quick rinse, is all." Toonie replied after a bit of silence.
Link and Young Link soon made their way to the kitchen, intending to start the day with breakfast. Toon Link, upon seeing his half-full cereal bowl, proceeded to finish the last of his meal. The three were soon eating together at the table, and things were pretty tranquil for a while, until...
"OUCH! MY ASS!"
The three Links' ears perked up when they heard the outburst.
"Who was that?" Link asked.
"Sounded like Snake." Young Link stated.
"Should we check it out?" Toon Link inquired, kinda sympathetic to the soldier's plight.
Silence, then all three responded with:
"Ehh...Nope."
And they carried on with their breakfast.
And here's the end of the oneshot. Originally it was a story about Toon Link singing about pirate shanties, but thanks to the flow of the story, I changed it, and tried to make it as funny as possible for you guys. You know it's bound to be hilarious when a child is tired of an adult's crap.
Oh, and the shanty in question is "William Taylor", which is actually an old ballad.
And yes, Toon Link calls Charizard "Chari". It just came to me.
Feel free to give feedback, or not, your choice, but I do appreciate it. 😊