Name: Keeping a Secret
Author: Flawlessbeauti
Rated: PG-13
Word Count: 926
Disclaimer: I do not own the mentioned characters.
Warnings: Implied Sexual Activity
A/N: Prompt 53
You come to me in the dark of night, silent and creeping like the spy you are. It kills me how I want you, yet at the same time am utterly repulsed. How can one have such conflicting emotions? I try not to ponder such things when you are there, as I know how little time before you must return yet again to your little friends. How soon it will be before I will become just another shadow in your life, to be ignored in the light and worshipped under the cover of the night.
So I bask in the moment we have together; memorize the words whispered against my ear. Etch each second into my memory, to reply the next day. To remember when you ignore, and often insult, me in view of everyone. I remember how your eyes look now, so when they are filled with false hatred I can replace them with what they are now.
Waiting for you is torture in itself. The minutes tick by, and since communication between us is impossible our nightly meeting are more spontaneous then anything. But you come, each and every time. Then the torture doubles itself, as I am aware of each minute as it races by. Time is a horrid thief, I remember somebody telling me that one day. I could not agree more. Then you're leaving, apologies and promises mumbled against my lips. After that, when the door is closed firmly again and I know it will be another day and half the night before I see you again, is when the pain comes. I never asked for this, I tell myself over and over. Yet in a sense I did. That knowledge brings me little sleep for many nights.
Each time you come it becomes more difficult to keep our little secret. I don't want you to go, and I see in your eyes you don't want to as well. But we both have no choice in the matter. We knew starting out how intricate our relationship, if we had one, would be. People such as ourselves do not get involved with each other the way we have. But I presume that is exactly why we are in the position we are in. We have never been much for rules, you and I. That is our greatest triumph; yet also our greatest downfall. I make a pact with myself after yet another long goodbye. Next time, it shan't be as long an ordeal.
You seem confused and a bit hurt when I tell you goodbye and turn away. You say you shall not leave until you understand what's going on. This wasn't what was supposed to happen, and I find myself at a loss for what to do. Then the words tumble out. How I cannot do what we have been doing the past year or so any longer. You understand; I can see that. The pain I feel seems to be reflected back to me. You promise something will change. I tell you it must, for continuing our secret tryst will surely be the death of one, if not both, of us. You tell me not to talk that way. You'll do something, you promise. Give you three days and you'll think of something just don't give up on you. I say I never do, nor will I ever truly. You leave much later then usual that night, and I lie awake.
The next day you are waiting by the double doors, and you fall into step with me as I pass. I glance at you curiously, yet you just smile and continue walking. We walk past my table, and when I falter in confusion you grab my head and pull me along. My table falls silent, eyes wide in astonishment. As we pass another table it too lapses into a slightly bemused quiet. Finally we make it to yours. Every eye is now on us, and all noise has ceased. You sit down, pulling me with you. "Hermione," you say "meet my boyfriend for the past year." Hermione smiles, slightly confused I'm sure, and offers a hand, which I manage to take through my daze. "Ron, this is Draco." Your friend sputters slightly, turning red in the process. I manage to withhold my laughter. "It's a pleasure." I murmur. And suddenly, just like that, we are no longer keeping a secret.
You come to me in the dark of night, silent and creeping like you did only a few months ago. It's killing me how much I want you, yet at the same time I'm content to simply watch your body at work. How can one have such conflicting emotions? I try not to ponder such things, and suddenly you are there beside me. It's still a shock to know you are mine for however long I want you; all night if I feel the need. But for now I shut down all thoughts. I bask in the moment, memorizing every word whispered huskily into my ear. I etch the seconds into memory as time slips by, a thief no longer. I remember how the sheets feel rubbing against one side of my body with you on the other. I commit to memory every little detail, so I can replay them tomorrow when I'm gazing into the hatred-filled eyes of those I use to call my friends. At this thought I laugh, knowing that for every eye full of hate there is now one filled with friendship. And one brilliant green pair with love.