Hey guys..This is just a little One-shot AU writing from 5x01 between Damon and Katherine. I've been kind of hoping that someone would write this and well, finally decided that I'd just write it myself... LOL. It didn't really turn out how I wanted it. But, hopefully it's still not bad. :)
Enjoy!
Heartfelt Lies
It's too late she thinks. For his help. For him to swoop in like he did before, centuries ago when his father wanted to kill her- and attempt to protect her. Because, they both know that he probably won't do it...That he'll sell her out to Silas just as quickly as she would do to him if the tables were turned.
She pauses for a moment, twirling her hair in between her fingers, eyes glued to his back as he sips on the bourbon in his glass, the smell of it swirling around her head. He had just offered her a way out, a chance to take back her old life and never think twice or suffer through the new one that she was given.
Where was he when she needed him the most? She silently asks herself. Where was he when all she wanted to do was talk to someone, tell them that her being like this- wasn't ever supposed to happen. It takes her a moment to remember, for it to sink in. He's in love with another, blindly loyal to the girl that looks just like her. The one that took away everything that made her who she was for 500 plus years and made her into this person. A weak. Fragile. Disappointing human version of herself.
She saw it in his eyes though, that worry and for a brief second, she figured that maybe he cared enough. Maybe, deep down she had gotten to him with her words. "No one has ever taken the cure before. If I do that. I might not wake up."
It's different, this life- a lot more dangerous- a lot more scary and a hell of a lot more unpredictable. This new world that she's thrown into by a cure. One small vile of an antidote coursing through her veins- that wasn't even meant for her- has made her question everything she knows about herself, everything she knew about him.
It's different, she knows. Because, she doesn't feel like herself, she doesn't know what to do with herself anymore and running seems like the only option. So, she tries to run and still somehow ends up back on his doorstep, pleading with him. "I'm Katherine Pierce. A survivor!" It's her motto and she thinks that if she could shout it loud enough, scream it on the top of a mountain that maybe he'd understand. She didn't need him then, she doesn't need him now. At least, that's what she's lead herself and him to believe. At least, that's what could keep her running and detached from truly caring about anything or anyone.
"If you don't want to help me, Damon. You don't need to. I've been taking care of myself for years. So, looks like I'll need to just continue doing that. Besides, you'd give me up to Silas the moment an opportunity came your way. I don't trust you..." She hisses out of her mouth, teeth clenched together, arms crossed over her chest.
It's toxic, their relationship. It's become this toxic pool of hate and an underlined passion that she knows he feels when he's around her. The look in his dark blue eyes softens a little- like he understands her struggles. Like, he always has because to her- they're more alike than he cares to acknowledge, then he could ever admit.
"You can trust me, Katherine. I won't let him get to you. I just...You can't stay here." He tells her sternly, watching the swaying of her hips as she moves towards him, the soft pink color returned in her lips and for a moment, he wonders how bad it would be if he kissed her? If he allowed himself to get lost in her...like he had centuries before. To indulgence himself in this version of her that they both love to hate.
"Where am I supposed to go? I don't have anywhere else! Damon, I have enemies! People who I've wronged, people who I've burned and once they find out that I'm human..They'll kill me! I'm not even good at this whole human thing. I'm not strong enough, I can't do this!" She yells at him, watching him pivot on his heels towards her- their eyes locking on each others for a fraction of a second.
"You can't let me go out there. People will kill me, they will! I'm not good at this life, Damon. I don't want this at all and I can't live like this...I don't know how. But, I don't want to change back to who I was either. Because, that life was filled with-." She opens her mouth to speak, stops when she looks up to see him just inches away from her face.
"Loneliness?" He questions, looking down at the floor instead of her darkened brown eyes. Out of all the men in her life, he still knows her the best. Every thought...Every fear. He knows it all.
He watches her bite down on her lower lip, nodding a little when she replies softly. "Yes."
The smile on his face grows a bit. That same smile that she loves so much, that she loved centuries ago when all that mattered was proving to herself that she could be herself around him and he didn't mind because back then, he loved her. Even if it's hard for him to admit it now..She thinks that maybe, somewhere in the depths of his heart that he still does.
"I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe. Hell, I can even teach you how to be a normal person..." His voice trails off as she smirks at him. He wants to teach her? At what cost? The roles reverse...The once over eager student wants to become the teacher- she ponders for a moment..How ironic!
"There's always a catch with you...Isn't there? You'll protect me because, I look like Elena. But, you'll keep me safe because..." She stops, waits for him to catch on. Damon smiles again, that smile that makes her weak in the knees- even if she hates to admit it.
"I'll protect you because...I feel sorry for you." He states flatly, causing Katherine's eyes to narrow on him, her mouth dropping open a little.
"That's not all of it, is it?" She asks him, leaning forward and placing her hand onto his chest, it's like everything falls into place when she's around him, like they're back in 1864 when she loved him and he loved her and being around each other made sense. Because, she wasn't only his teacher- she was his friend, his lover. Everything that she wishes she could have now.. once again..with him.
Damon exhales a deep sigh, looking up to meet her eyes, glancing down to see Katherine's hand slide down his chest, her brown eyes full of hope.
"There isn't anymore to it, Katherine. I'm with Elena now." He tells her firmly- like he's trying to say it so that he can actually believe the words he's telling her- aren't a lie. He is with Elena...right. In a fully committed relationship with her...right? Damon stands still, watching as she licks her lips and inhales through a slightly locked jaw, rolling her eyes at him.
"Oh, yeah that's right. My hopeless, helpless and beyond aggravating doppleganger gets all your attention nowadays. How's that working out for you two?" She asks him in a snarky tone, her voice getting high pitched with a laced irritation. Just the sound of Elena's name leaving Damon's lips makes Katherine wish she were still a vampire so that she could get rid of her for good and make him open his eyes for once. Their love..is nothing but an illusion- she thinks.
"You really didn't come here to ask me about my relationship with Elena now did you? Because, we both know that you don't care. So, what is it that you want, Katherine. You've already asked for my protection and I'm giving it to you. Anything else?" He questions her, taking a step back so that he's not feeling like she's observing his every movement, the way his body seems to react to her voice, to her touch- relaxing just for a moment.
"Yes, actually...You probably won't believe me. Because, I've lied my way throughout life to get whatever it is that I damn well please. Anything. From the truth, to shoes, to clothes, to love. But, I loved you, Damon..Even, if you refuse to believe it now. I just thought I'd tell you again. I loved you back then." She tells him in an attempt at reaffirming what she knows is probably the most truthful thing that she's ever said. Turning her back towards him as she feels his hand on her skin.
Damon turns her around, searching for some truth to it in her eyes. But, she doesn't blink- she doesn't even flinch when she repeats her words with her voice echoing throughout the Salvatore boarding house walls. "I loved you and I know that I said that I loved Stefan too. Because, I did. Yet, there's always been something about you and I...Something that I can't seem to shake. I know you feel it too, that's why you've told me to go. Because, you're afraid that if I stick around that you'll break Elena's little heart by falling in love with me all over again. Sadly, I think that you're in love with her, because she looks like me. I mean, a less vicious and more compassionate version of me. But, you get my point."
He's tongue tied, words failing to move past his vocal cords because for once in her life. Katherine Pierce is right! He's tried to stop thinking about her, tried to stop comparing Elena to Katherine. But, ever since they started their relationship- he can't shake the feeling of emptiness he feels whenever he's around her..his brother's girl.
"She doesn't love me like you did. She's blindly loyal to me. It's not because she was sired either, it's because I know that she's still in love with my brother." He confesses, hearing Katherine let out a small exhale. She's known, probably always has that even if they've tried to deny it that it's still there- even after all these centuries that feeling of 'love and hate' really is a fine line, when it comes to loving him. And, what he feels for Elena probably is some sense of love. Yet, they both know that it could never be what they had experienced long ago and kept buried from each other for years. A storm of emotions- their true feelings.
"Of course she is, Damon. Because, for her..Stefan will always be the right choice and..you will always-." Katherine's voice breaks, trying to turn away from him, not wanting to finish her sentence.
"I'll always, what? Katherine, I'll always what?" Damon demands, his hands still on her wrist, pulling her towards him as she looks past him instead- avoiding eye contact when she leans into his ear. He can feel her warm intoxicating breath, the pressure in his chest grows. It's the connection they have- the connection they've always had. That damn fine line that's leaning more towards a feeling of love when she speaks to him ever so sweetly.
"You'll always love me. Even when you don't want to." She whispers, pulling away from him and watching him stare at her in wonder. How is it that even after all these years, she still has a hold over him, a pull over him that makes him question everything that he thinks he knows about loving someone..about loving her.
"That's not true. I'm over whatever voodoo spell you have on me. I don't love you anymore, Katherine. I actually despise you. I don't know how many times I have to say it..But, I..." He tries to say it as firmly as possible, as hate filled as he can because at the moment, because that's all he has. That belief instilled in himself from years ago when she told him that she loved his brother. Yet, he fails. Because as much as he's tried to deny it- to tell himself that he hates her. He's glad she's still alive, glad that she's still wanting to be around him.
She replaces lips against his ear with her warm and soft hand gently on his face, inches away from his lips when she leans forward whispers against them. "Give it time, Damon. You'll love me again, once you realize that you're lying to yourself about Elena..Just, give it time and you'll see. The heart never can tell a lie and we both know that neither can you when it comes to love. So, come find me when you have a confession to make. I'll be waiting."
Thanks so much for reading & I hope you liked it! :)
