I don't own South Park.
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny where running down the street.
"C'mon we have to keep moving." Cartman said. They ran into a store with the neon words that said lotto in the window. The 4 boys walked in and saw the store was filled with people.
"What the," Stan began.
"What the hell are this many people doing at the same store?" Kenny muffled.
"There hasn't been a big last minute rush like this since I was in 1st grade." Cartman said.
"You've done this before?" Kenny muffled.
"Duh, that's why I called you guys over here." Cartman snapped.
"Do really think this is gonna to work?" Kyle asked.
"Listen you goddamn Jew, I wouldn't've called you here unless I knew it worked!" Cartman snapped. "Now take your I.D. cards."
Cartman handed the I.D.s to them.
"Cartman, these I.D.s are made of construction paper." Stan said.
"And?"
"Cartman real I.D. cards are made of plastic."
"And your point is?"
"You're a dumbass Cartman." Kyle said.
"Listen you guys, the guy who gives the lotto tickets is drunk every time I play the lottery." Cartman whispered.
"How many times have you actually played the lottery?" Stan asked.
"I lost track after 60 times. But the point is, it works."
"How?" Kenny muffled.
"We just tell him we're midgets."
"This isn't gonna work." Kyle said.
"Then go home Kyle." Cartman said.
"No, I wanna stay and see your plan fail!"
30minutes later…Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny got up to the counter. Something gleamed and caught Kenny's eye. A penny. A lucky penny. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. Cartman paid for the tickets. And gave them the I.D. cards to verify. After filling out the tickets, they listened to the T.V. in the store.
"And now the winning Mega Million numbers," the guy on T.V. said. "17-18-49-38-90 and for the jackpot, 4."
"Oh my God!" Kenny muffled. "I won the freakin' lottery!"
"What? Really?" Stan asked.
"Yeah really!" Kenny muffled.
"Wow! You're a real lucky son of a bitch." Kyle said.
"What? How is that freakin' possible?" Cartman said.
"It's the lottery fatso." Kyle sneered.
"Congratulations," the drunken guy at the counter said. "You just won 77 million dollars!"
"77 MILLION DOLLARS??" The 4 boys repeated.
"You mean…Kenny's rich now?" Cartman asked.
"Hell yeah!" Kenny muffled.
"Cash that ticket in dude!" Stan said.
"Wait, I need to get my parents!" Kenny muffled.
"Well run Kenny," Kyle said. "Don't stop till you get to your parents!"
Kenny ran out of the store and straight home and Kyle, Stan, and Cartman followed him.
"I've got a golden ticket." Kenny sang with his voice muffled by his jacket. "I've got a golden twinkle in my eye!" Kenny slid across the hood of a car. The car stopped.
"Hey you crazy kids!" the guy in the car yelled furiously. "I better not see you again!"
Kenny got to his parents who were walking across the train tracks to Kenny.
"Mom, Dad!" Kenny said. "I won the lottery!"
"You won the lottery?" Kenny's mom asked.
"It's true," Stan said. "Kenny won 77 million dollars."
"77 MILLION DOLLARS?!" Kenny's mom and dad screamed.
"Yeah!" Kenny said. "I'm rich now! Like Token!"
"Hey dude, can I borrow 20 for a new jacket?" Stan asked.
"Sure." But then Kenny thought about it. "No way man!"
"Why not Kenny?" Stan asked.
"Yeah, what have we ever done to you?" Cartman asked.
Flashback
Many nights ago…The 4 of them were sitting around a campfire.
"You guys, listen to this song I just wrote. It's called 'I hate you guys.'" Cartman said. He blew into his harmonica. "I hate you guys." He began to sing. He blew into his harmonica. "You guys are assholes." He blew into his harmonica again. "Especially Kenny." He blew into his harmonica. "I hate him the most."
Later that night…
"Hey Kenny can I borrow one of your gloves?" Cartman asked as he took a dump in the clearing.
"Sure dude." Kenny muffled. He took off his glove and took a few steps towards him, then realized what he was going use it for. "Fuck no!"
After they saw the new Terrance & Phillip movie, they went to the lake to tell everyone else about it…
"We have got to see this movie dude." Craig said.
The kids ran to the theater except Cartman and Kenny.
"I hate you Kenny." Cartman said.
When Kyle was in the hospital because and kidney problem…
"Kenny, if a friend died…I don't know what I'd do." Stan cried
Kenny just glared.
Later that episode…
"I've done all I can Kenny, but nothing working. He's dying." Stan cried.
"You never cared when I died." Kenny muffled.
"My friend is going to die. Kyle's gonna die and there's nothing I can do about it."
As Stan broke into tears, Kenny broke into rage and cursed Stan out.
"Screw you guys, I'm going home." Kenny muffled.
Right after they saw the Terrance and Phillip movie…
"I bet you 100 you can't let a fart on fire." Cartman said.
"Okay." Kenny muffled.
He took out a match and lit it. Then he farted and laughed as it he felt the heat of the flame. But he soon cried out in pain once he was engulfed in the flame of his own fart. He began to run with Cartman behind him with a stick hitting him, trying to put the fire out as he repeated "Ah shit" over and over again.
"Somebody do something." Stan said.
Cartman stopped chasing Kenny and exclaimed, "The stick is on fire!" An ambulance had come out for Kenny, as he ran to it, a salt truck pushed it out the way and unloaded the truck, smothering Kenny in salt.
"Oh my god!" Stan exclaimed. "They killed Kenny!"
"You bastard!" Kyle said.
"Wow I guess you really can light a fart on fire huh." Cartman said.
Later in the emergency room…
As Cartman, Kyle, and Stan looked down at the dead body of Kenny, Cartman said, "I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him 100."
"Oh, Cartman, it wasn't your fault." Kyle said.
"No I'm just stoked I don't have to pay him."
"Oh real nice, he was your friend you fat fuck!"
End of Flashbacks
"Well if you look at all those events in the flashback of course we look like he hate you!" Cartman said.
"But they don't make sense." Stan said. "If you died in a salt accident, how are you still alive now?"
Kenny looked from left to right suspiciously.
"Th-that doesn't matter. You're not getting any money from me!" Kenny snapped.
"Yeah let's cash this ticket in already." Kenny's dad said.
"Yeah." Kenny said. Then he looked down at the street and saw a penny. He checked his pockets and saw his penny was gone, so he went into the street to the new penny.
"Kenny watch out!" Kenny's parents, Stan, Kyle and Cartman said. The next thing they knew, the same guy from before hit Kenny with his car. Kenny flew a few feet through the air and landed hard on his back.
"Oh my God," Stan said. "He ki-" Kenny stood up on his feet. "Oh. Never mind." The driver rolled down his window.
"You goddamn hooligans!" the driver yelled. "I told you to get away from my car!" He pulled out a gun.
"Holy shit!" Kenny screamed.
"No!" Stan and Cartman yelled.
"Don't do it!" Kenny's parents and Kyle begged.
But it didn't matter what they said. The driver shot Kenny 4 times. Kenny laid on the road motionless.
"Oh my God! He killed Kenny!" Stan yelled.
"You bastard!" Kyle and Kenny's mom yelled. The driver got back in his car and drove a few feet away when lightning stuck the car an exploded.
"Wait how is that possible?" Stan asked.
"Yeah, there isn't a cloud in the sky." Kyle said.
"How could you 2 care about the weather at a time like this?" Kenny's mom cried. She fell to her knees. "Poor Kenny is dead! My baby is dead!" She put her head on his body and sobbed hysterically.
"Kenny?" Kyle asked with his eyes beginning to water.
"Kenny…" Kenny's dad sniffled. "I can't believe you'd go like this…" He cried and cried.
Kenny's mom cried, then she took the lottery ticket, and put it in Kenny's pocket. She kissed his forehead, and then noticed something.
"Wait a minute." She said. "He's gotta pulse! Kenny's alive, for the moment anyway."
"That god!" Cartman said.
"But you know what they say," Kyle whispered to Stan. "3 strikes you're out."
"Dude don't be so gloomy." Stan whispered back. "You keep thinking like that and you'll jinx it."
Several minutes later…Kenny wakes up in the hospital bed surrounded by Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and his parents. He was connected to a machine that kept his pulse, and had a small bag of blood being put into his body after too much loss of blood. Kenny groaned.
"Oh god! He's awaking!" Kenny's dad declared.
"Kenny, the doctor says you'll make a full recovery." Kenny's mom said.
"Oh really?" Kenny asked.
"Yeah, and the guy at the store said you still have a few days to claim the money, and you'll be here in for half a week so…" Kyle said.
"I can still be rich!" Kenny said.
"I guess this is adventure is pretty short." Stan said.
"Yeah." Kenny agreed. "And I didn't die!"
Kenny cheered, but accidentally pulled on the wire connecting him to the machine that kept his pulse. The outlet was extremely sensitive, and came out. Sparks flew everywhere. Kenny was electrocuted, and screamed in pain. He accidentally pulled again, which pulled the machine that kept his pulse. That machine was big. It completely flattened Kenny, and then the blood bag fell onto it and blew Kenny up. All that was left was a broken machine with a cracking flame inside it.
"Oh my god!" Stan yelled. "They killed Kenny!"
"You bastard." Kyle cursed. The lottery ticket was still amazingly intact. It floated down and Cartman grabbed it.
"Ha!" he cheered. "I'm a millionaire!"
"Cartman what the hell?!" Stan screamed.
"That's Kenny's ticket give it back!" Kenny's dad demanded. Cartman punched Kenny's dad in the balls. As Kenny's dad fell down clutching his nuts, Cartman said, "Screw you guys, I'm a millionaire." He ran out. Stan ran after him.
"Don't worry, we'll get that ticket back." Kyle reassured. He ran after him. Cartman ran to a weird store.
"Hmm. The Indian Burial Ground Pet Store." Cartman read the sign. He ran inside. Stan and Kyle saw the door close.
"Goddamnit!" Kyle cursed. "Didn't we tell this guy to rebuild his store somewhere else?"
"Look let's just get the ticket back." Stan said.
Cartman looked around for a place to hide. Then he ran up to a door that said, Employees Only. The worker came from behind the desk.
"I'm sorry, you can't go in there." He said.
"Just watch me." Cartman said. He opened door and saw a big white portal. He jumped in.
Meanwhile, Kenny was climbing the golden stairs to heaven. He got up to the golden gates of heaven. He pushed the verification button, and it said, "Access approved. Welcome Kenny McCormick." The gates opened, and then all the angels cheered. Balloons fell from the upper clouds. Then everyone cheered, "Happy 1Millionth death!" Kenny looked so pissed and yelled, "How is that a good thing?"
Great beginning right? Well done for now, but I'll continue it real soon. Please review!