Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine- if it were, there'd be more boys kissing!
Pairings: SasukexNaruto (of course), KakashixIruka, GaaraxLee, and KisamexItachi
A/N: This was a product of boredom and procrastination- I wrote this while avoiding homework and while taking a break from my major fanfiction project.
I haven't written KakaIru before, really; nothing with a concentration on them. I haven't written Gaara, Lee, or GaaLee before either, and I've never written anything with Kisame, Itachi, or KisaIta in it. Please forgive any OOCness you find.
Please enjoy!
The Closet
"Does anyone know why we're here?" Naruto asked the assembled group. There were eight people, including himself, in some sort of locked room with no windows. A brief glance around the room revealed only one door, but when Naruto had checked, it turned out to be only a small closet with a hat, a pen, and a sheet of paper.
Sasuke, sitting next to him, was glaring daggers at one of the other occupants of the room; his brother, Uchiha Itachi. Itachi stared back at the younger Uchiha, cool as ice. The blue-skinned shark man seated next to Itachi didn't seem to care that they were all locked together, leaning calmly against the wall.
Kakashi, as usual, was reading one of his 'books', while Iruka tried to convince him to put said book away. Gaara was standing in one corner of the room, staring stoically at the rest of the group while Lee paced around the room and looked for a way out.
"Oi! Does anyone know why we're here?!" Naruto demanded. Itachi glanced at him, shook his head once, then returned to staring at Sasuke.
Iruka, giving up on convincing Kakashi to put away the dirty book while there were others present, sighed.
"No, Naruto. Has anyone found a way out?"
"No, but if I can't find a way out I shall do a thousand laps around Konoha when we get back!" Lee declared.
"There doesn't seem to be any food or water. We'll probably get instructions soon- whoever captured us isn't looking to kill us." Kakashi observed, leisurely flipping a page in his book.
"Can't one of you Leaf guys break us out?" Kisame asked.
"The walls are too thick. You're welcome to try, though." Kakashi replied.
/TAP, TAP/
"Huh?" Naruto looked up towards the sound.
/Can you all hear me?/
"This is not very youthful, locking us all in here." Lee sternly told the voice coming from the ceiling.
Gaara uncorked his gourd with a loud 'pop'.
"Let us out right now." the red-haired nin commanded lowly.
/I can't do that- at least not yet. Just do me one small favor, and then you'll all be transported back to where you came from. You might even thank me!/
"Favor?" Itachi asked, monotone.
"What kind of favor?" Iruka sounded suspicious, with good reason.
/There should be a hat, a pen, and a piece of paper in the closet. Someone go get them./
The assembled shinobi all glanced at each other, then, grumbling, Naruto went and retrieved the requested items.
"What do you want us to do with these?" he asked dubiously.
/Rip the paper into eight even pieces./
"You'd better let me do that, usuratonkachi; you can't rip paper neatly." Sasuke said, voice a little harsher than usual. Still, he seemed to have given up glaring at his brother for now, so it was a step in the right direction.
"Sasuke-teme! I can TOO rip paper evenly!"
"Children, children..." Kakashi said, a hint of amusement in his voice. He flipped another page. "Play nice, now."
Scowling, Naruto handed the paper to Sasuke who proceeded to rip said sheet into eight exactly equal pieces. Smirking, Sasuke handed them back.
"What's next?" he addressed the ceiling.
/Write each person's name on the slips- one per person./
Bored already, Naruto did as instructed.
/Fold them in half and put them in the hat. I have a game for you to play./
"A game, huh?" Naruto said, disinterested.
"Is this game the 'favor' you were talking about?" Lee asked. "Do we have to win to leave?"
/Nope- there's no real 'winner' with this game, but it's fun. Trust me./
"I have the stupid game prepared." Naruto called, waving the hat. "Do we all pick names or something?"
/Exactly. Send the hat around- one name per person. Don't tell anyone who you picked./
Slowly, the hat went around. Naruto shoved his hand in and randomly grabbed a piece of paper, then passed the hat to Sasuke. With an air of 'I would roll my eyes but Uchihas do not roll their eyes', Sasuke picked out his own slip before handing the hat to Iruka. Iruka chose and held the hat for Kakashi, who chose his while still reading his book.
The hat was passed to Itachi next, who gracefully reached it and drew a name out. Kisame stared at the hat for a moment, then sighed and grabbed another slip.
The hat made its way to Lee next, who graciously let Gaara pick first before plucking the last slip from the hat.
/Now that you all have your partners, let me explain the rules of the game-/
"Partners?! I have to partner up with that bastard?!" Naruto shouted, indignantly waving his slip of paper. "I quit!"
"Who'd want to be partners with you, usuratonkachi?" Sasuke asked scathingly. "And you're not supposed to say who you picked."
/You have to play if you want to leave this room. Now let me explain the rules./
Silence.
/That's better. Anyway, the game is called Seven Minutes in Heaven-/
Kakashi actually put his book down at that, a grin perceptible beneath the face-mask.
"Really..." he said, drawing the word out with a sidelong glance at Iruka.
/Yes, really. Seven Minutes in Heaven is simple- you and your partner go into the closet, the door gets shut behind you, and seven minutes later the door is opened again. The closet is a pretty cramped space, so the two people in there will get awfully close-/
"What?" Lee's face resembled the shade of Gaara's hair, and unfortunately clashed badly with his bright green spandex. "This game..." The bushy-browed taijutsu master seemed speechless.
"The closet hardly looks like heaven." Gaara said, not having picked up on the implications of the game. "What is the purpose of this game?"
"W-Well, Gaara-san... it's-" Lee seemed to be at a loss.
Taking pity on the poor kid, or perhaps just wanting the joy of explaining the game, Kakashi took over the explanation.
"The two people in the closet are expected to kiss or touch each other and see how far they can-"
"Kakashi!" Iruka exclaimed, scandalized.
Naruto seemed stunned, jaw hanging open as he stared at the ceiling.
"What?! Me and... I am NEVER kissing that bastard!" Naruto claimed.
Sasuke remained silent, just as Itachi and Kisame. The two Akatsuki members, for their part, seemed unfazed by the game.
/Now that we know the rules... let's have the first pair go in! Naruto, you picked Sasuke, right?/
Naruto spluttered, seemingly too angry to speak.
/Into the closet!/
Sasuke stood, a supremely bored look on his face, and walked into the closet.
"Uh-uh! No way! I refuse!" Naruto said, arms and legs flailing. Kakashi, casual as you please, walked up, grabbed Naruto by the scruff of the neck, and threw him in after Sasuke. The sound of two bodies colliding coincided with the door slamming shut.
/Starting the clock- 6 minutes and 59 seconds to go!/
IN THE CLOSET
Naruto glared. The glare would have been much more effective if aimed at Sasuke's face rather than chest, but the voice in the ceiling had not been lying when it said that the closet was small. Sasuke's back was pressed against the wall, arms at his sides for lack of a better place to put them. Naruto had brought his arms up when Kakashi threw him in an instinctive attempt to protect his face; said arms were now trapped between him and the rather firm chest of Sasuke.
Naruto wasn't inclined to move them, mostly because there was nowhere to move them to. He had been able to move back slightly, but the door was quite firmly pressed against his back.
This was probably a bad time to notice, but Sasuke's body felt awfully warm... it was kind of nice. Naruto could feel the outline of muscles beneath the skin and hear Sasuke's heartbeat. Every breath Sasuke took ruffled Naruto's hair.
And... this was probably a bad time to be hyper-aware of Sasuke. Very bad time.
Sasuke was just as aware of Naruto, how the blond fit against him, how he smelled...
But it was only natural to notice such things when they were so close together, right?
The silence stretched for almost a minute before Naruto got sick of the silence and had to break it.
"We should have a bigger closet." he grumbled. Sasuke arched an eyebrow, even though Naruto's face was currently buried in his chest and therefore unable to see the gesture.
"That would defeat the purpose of the game, dobe." Sasuke smirked, knowing it would come across in his voice. "Unless you really are so anxious to move this game up to the next level-"
"What was that, bas-!?" Naruto demanded hotly, looking up to Sasuke's face unthinkingly. He cut himself off mid-word when he realized exactly how close their faces now were.
Naruto was close enough to count Sasuke's eyelashes, if he so wished. He could see the exact curve of Sasuke's perfect jaw. He could almost feel how soft and smooth Sasuke's lips were, just by looking at them so closely. He could feel Sasuke's breath glide across his face, so close that they were sharing oxygen, Naruto unconsciously matching Sasuke breath for breath.
'Bad idea.' he told himself. 'Bad idea, should not want to concentrate on his lips, am not concentrating on that bastard's lips...'
Naruto caught himself leaning forward ever so slightly and he jerked his head back down to address Sasuke's chest once more; a chest, he noticed again, that was very well-defined and looked soft to the touch, almost pure white and begging to be marked-
Naruto could feel his face heat.
"You were saying?" Sasuke asked, voice composed even if inside he was not.
"Nothing." Naruto muttered.
"I can't hear you. Speak up, usuratonkachi."
"Nothing." Naruto repeated, a little louder. His embarrassment at /noticing/ his comrade was quickly turning to an emotion he knew how to deal with, especially in regards to Sasuke. Anger.
"You need to be louder than that."
"Nothing!" As usual, with anger came loss of reason, and Naruto once again lifted his head to stare Sasuke in the face.
Sasuke leaned closer, close enough that Naruto could not look back down without banging their heads together.
"Should we play this game properly, Naruto?"
It may have been the use of his real name, or the husky, seductive tone Sasuke had adopted, but Naruto found himself nodding, eyes firmly fixed on Sasuke's lips.
Sasuke closed the distance, lips seeking out Naruto's hungrily. The Uchiha's hands lifted, going directly under the jacket Naruto wore but not yet pulling the undershirt untucked. Naruto gasped as one of the hands on his body found a nipple through the cloth, the gasp allowing Sasuke's tongue entrance. Determined to touch as well as be touched, Naruto slid his hands down his rival's/friend's chest, parting the white uwagi Sasuke had worn since escaping Oto and returning to Konoha.
Sasuke's skin was just as smooth as it looked.
The two broke apart rarely, air still an unfortunate necessity, but their hands kept moving.
Sasuke moved his hands down and roughly tugged on the undershirt Naruto wore, pulling it untucked. Naruto hardly noticed, more concerned with sliding the uwagi off of Sasuke.
The sound of the door opening made both of them freeze, Sasuke's top halfway off and Naruto's tanned hand very visible against the pale flesh. Sasuke's hands were still very obviously under Naruto's jacket, and it was clear from their swollen lips and proximity exactly what had been happening in the closet.
"Time's up already?" Naruto asked, dazed. Iruka, the one unfortunate enough to open the door, stared in shock at his favorite pupil touching and being touched by Sasuke. With a mute nod, Iruka turned away from the scene and walked back to Kakashi.
Blushing slightly, Naruto jerked his hands away from Sasuke's body, stepping away from the other shinobi and fixing his clothes. Cool as a cucumber, Sasuke readjusted his clothes and stepped out after Naruto, a hint of a smirk on his features.
"Who's next?" he asked, addressing his question towards the ceiling.
/Since Sasuke was just in, we'll come back to his turn. Iruka, your turn!/
Iruka opened his mouth as if to protest, but then muttered in an almost defeated tone:
"Kakashi."
The famous copy-nin looked as if Christmas had come early, complete with a set of as-of-yet-unseen MakeOut Paradise volumes. Kakashi's smile was visible through the mask as he walked into the closet, pocketing his book. Iruka followed somewhat uncertainly, and the door shut behind the pair with an ominous 'click'.
IN THE CLOSET
Iruka tried to push himself as far back against the door as he could, but the space in the closet was already limited and Kakashi had no interest in keeping to his side of the tiny area.
"Iruka, you heard the rules, right?" Kakashi's voice was entirely too expectant.
Iruka could feel a vein in his eye twitch.
"I heard the rules, but if you think for even an instant I'm about to kiss you, with several of my former students outside this door- mmph!"
Iruka was cut off when Kakashi pulled down his mask and kissed the chuunin. It wasn't half as heated and passionate as Iruka had expected from his almost-constantly perverted lover, but rather warm and gentle.
The kiss broke gently, only a few millimeters of space separating the two.
"Must I always be perverted?" Kakashi asked, playfully. His next question was serious. "Can't I just kiss my lover sometimes, without wanting it to go anywhere?"
For that, the chuunin had no words.
"I- I guess you can..." he mumbled, just before his lips were gently captured again.
OUTSIDE THE CLOSET
Naruto frowned at the closet door; it seemed ominously quiet. He glared.
"Stop staring at the door, usuratonkachi. Iruka is just fine." Sasuke told him quietly. The blond didn't stop glaring.
"How do you know, teme? What if Kakashi-sensei is doing something perverted?" Naruto demanded. Even though he hadn't been Iruka's student for years, he still saw the man as something of a father.
"They've been lovers for years; I doubt anything-" Sasuke started, but was cut off by Naruto's shocked response.
"WHAT!? Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei?!" Naruto stared blankly at the door. "Why'd he never tell me?"
"I found out by accident." Sasuke said indifferently. "Iruka was probably worried about how you'd react, though to me it seems like you're just fine with homosexual relationships."
Naruto reddened at the reminder.
"But I never would have guessed that Iruka-san and Kakashi-san had a relationship!" Lee gushed, smile big and teeth sparkling. "This is a wonderful expression of their matured Springtime of Love!"
/Time's up!/
The closet door swung open of it's own accord, Iruka stepping out, Kakashi following a few moments behind. The only sign that there had been anything going on at all was Iruka's slight blush and moistened lips.
The two men went back to their place, perhaps walking a bit closer together and sitting closer than they had been before their trip to the closet. Kakashi, when he sat down, did not take his book back out.
/Next up, since Kakashi just went in, is Itachi!/
Itachi stared at the ceiling for a moment, an almost incredulous expression on his face, then stood.
"Kisame." he said simply, then walked to the closet with the grace inherent to all Uchiha. Kisame, who had been leaning against the wall, hands behind his head and eyes closed, cracked open one eye before standing and stretching. Casual as can be, he walked into the closet after his partner, sword left leaning against the wall due to its size.
With a grin, Kisame shut the door behind them.
The other six people in the room, with the exception of Gaara, were left staring after them, incredulous.
"It was just so..." Naruto began.
"... casual..." Iruka finished for his adopted son.
"Maybe they do this kind of thing often...?" Lee suggested uncertainly.
"They did seem rather blase about it." Sasuke said, shrugging. He carefully controlled his expression so that it remained bland instead of contorting into a scowl at the thought of his brother.
IN THE CLOSET
The instant the door shut, Itachi yanked Kisame by the collar down to give him a rough kiss.
"Someone's rather impatient today..." Kisame chuckled against the Uchiha's lips, returning the kiss.
"We only have seven minutes." Itachi said, already undoing the black-and-red Akatsuki cloak Kisame wore. "I don't imagine we'll be able to get too far in that time, but we should at least be able to show them what properly debauched looks like."
"No complaints here." Kisame replied, already reaching behind the Uchiha to untie the other man's hair. The second the long black locks were released, one of Kisame's hands tangled in the strands while the other got to work on the cloak. Long practice meant that the ties were child's play to undo while kissing the shorter nin. The blue-skinned man could feel his own cloak loose about his shoulders- temporarily releasing Itachi, Kisame shrugged out of the cloak and helped his partner pull his off.
Already a bit impatient- while he could wait, Itachi did not like to- the Uchiha shoved Kisame back against the door, which rattled in it's frame.
"Bet they heard that." Kisame muttered, fingers retangling in soft black hair as he pulled his partner up for another kiss. His other hand lightly skimmed down Itachi's side to firmly cup his ass, helping to pull the younger man closer.
Itachi's hands weren't idle, playing with the mesh over Kisame's chest, knowing just where to touch to get the best reaction. Itachi's hands danced down the blue skin, hearing Kisame's soft groans and already feeling the effect this was having on his partner.
The Uchiha made quick work of freeing the other nin's shirt from his pants, pulling it untucked and quickly jerking it over his partner's head. Once off, Itachi tossed it carelessly over his shoulder. Kisame was working on the raven's mesh shirt, though he seemed less interested in getting it off and more interested in gently nipping the pale, exposed flesh with his sharp teeth. He never bit hard enough to draw blood, or enough to cause pain, but enough to leave faint red marks that would fade quickly.
Having left a trail of red marks from just above Itachi's belt line almost to his sternum, Kisame paused to kiss his partner, full and deep.
Itachi returned the kiss, quickly dominating the kiss and pressing the taller nin into the door. The blue nin allowed Itachi to do as he pleased, tilting his head back and baring his neck. Itachi's mouth trailed wetly, hotly down the blue skin. Kisame's fingers kept a tight grip on the Uchiha's scalp, careful not to actually cause pain.
Itachi nibbled at Kisame's collarbone, the taste a familiar one of sea and salt, the sandpaper like texture welcoming, if a bit abrasive against his lips.
One of Itachi's hands dropped, skirting a nipple and ghosting over the smooth planes of his partner's chest and over well-defined abdominal muscles, where the flesh became smoother.
Itachi's hand dropped lower, feeling one of Kisame's hand run the length of his back encouragingly. The raven was just tugging lightly at his partner's waistband when the door opened.
Itachi's whole weight was resting on Kisame, who had been leaning against the door. The two went tumbling out, Kisame's head knocking against the floor while Itachi landed on top of the other nin, straddling Kisame's hips.
As if nothing had happened, though his breaths were still audible, Itachi stood and retrieved their other clothes from the closet. Kisame stood up as Itachi got off of him, taking his clothes from Itachi but not bothering to put them on. Itachi, on the other hand, pulled his shirt back on and fixed his cloak back in place, but not before everyone saw the red marks left by Kisame's teeth on a very pale abdomen. Itachi also left his hair down, it being too much of a tangled mess from Kisame's figures to even bother with.
"Well?" Itachi asked coolly, well aware that everyone was staring at them. "Who's next? I suppose it's you?" The oldest Uchiha glanced over at Lee and Gaara.
/Correct! Lee, it's your turn!/
Lee kept staring for a moment before glancing down at his slip of paper.
"G-Gaara." he mumbled, face bright red. He shyly glanced over at the stoic redhead. "I mean, as long as the Kazekage doesn't mind, I'd be honored to share this youthful experience of... well, springtime, with him!"
Lee's blush intensified as Gaara stared at him.
"Me. You want to share this with me." he repeated slowly, as if translating the words into a language he understood.
Lee nodded.
"Oh, just go ahead fuzzy-brows! We only have to wait for you and Gaara and then we get out!" Naruto exclaimed.
/Oh? What about Sasuke's turn? Kakashi's? Kisame's? Gaara's?/
"We've all been in the closet once." Sasuke said calmly. "Let us out after these two go." The Sharingan flashed for an instant. "Agreed?"
/Agreed./
The voice sounded almost meek.
Swallowing nervously, Lee began to walk towards the closet, Gaara at his side.
/Gaara?/
The redhead paused, staring pointedly up at the ceiling.
/You have to leave the gourd out here. It won't fit in the closet, not with you and Lee./
Gaara's eyes narrowed minutely. He made no sign of removing the gourd.
/You can keep your Sand Armor, just lose the gourd. Nothing life-threatening will happen in the next seven minutes./
The redhead considered what the voice was saying, then slowly unhooked the gourd and placed it against the nearest wall. He deliberately turned from the gourd and walked into the closet, Lee close behind.
"Good luck bushy-brows." Naruto muttered, watching the door close behind the two.
IN THE CLOSET
Lee would have wrung his hands uncertainly, had he enough room to do so. Gaara was just staring at him, leaning against the back wall, arms at his sides.
"Well, Gaara-san..." Lee's voice trailed off. He didn't know any of Gai-sensei's speeches that could help him out in this situation, and he had never imagined himself in this sort of situation to begin with. When he had imagined himself with Sakura, declaration of love and flowery phrases had flowed easily from his mind to his mouth. Lately, though, when he had imagined speaking words of love and devotion to Gaara... the words seemed much harder to say, simply because 'I love you' carried much more weight for the redhead than the pink-haired girl.
It held a lot more weight for Lee too; Sakura-san, he now realized, was one of his important people, a person he would do his best to protect. Gaara-san, he had realized, as they went on more and more Suna-Konoha joint missions together, was his precious person, someone he'd die to protect.
What did one say when the person they loved barely understood the emotion, even had a scar to remind himself to 'love only himself'?
"We're expected to kiss in this game, aren't we?" Gaara asked, voice so devoid of inflection that it took Lee a moment to figure out what the redhead had asked.
"Oh! Um... well, yes, but we don't have to-"
"Some of the others did more." Gaara pointed out. Lee's face reddened, seeing Itachi and Kisame as they had landed on the floor not four minutes ago and substituting an image of himself and Gaara in those positions.
"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." Lee said. Gaara's eyes narrowed.
"You don't want to?"
"I do!" Lee immediately exclaimed, startling Gaara.
The redhead observed Lee for a moment more.
"You said you wanted to share this with me. That means kiss me, doesn't it?"
Lee nodded mutely. Gaara moved, now standing straight instead of leaning back. Lee instinctively leaned back, face reddening further at the proximity.
The redhead either didn't notice or didn't care.
"Go ahead."
"Really?" Lee spluttered. Gaara considered for a moment, then nodded.
"I'm curious about it, but only with you."
Hesitantly, Lee leaned down and gently pressed his lips to those of the redhead. He held them there for a moment, Gaara perfectly still, then straightened.
Gaara lifted a hand to touch his lips.
"It's warm." He stated, then met Lee's eyes. "That was a kiss?"
Lee nodded, smiling.
"Yes, Gaara-san. It's a most youthful expression of-"
Lee's sentence was cut off when Gaara pressed his lips against Lee's, standing on tiptoe to reach the taller nin's mouth. The kiss was a bit rough, but Lee didn't mind.
They broke apart as the closet door swung open.
/Time's up!/
Lee smiled wide at Gaara.
"Thank you." he said simply. Gaara nodded.
"A closet is not always necessary to kiss, correct?" he asked as they stepped out of the closet.
"Of course not, Gaara-san!" Lee chirped in response. "Kissing is a youthful expression of love and you only need your precious person to-"
Lee was once against cut off midsentence as Gaara pulled him down for another kiss, in full view of the other six ninja in the room.
"Good." Gaara said, then moved passed Lee to collect his gourd. He strapped the sand gourd on, then turned to face the room again.
Lee still stood just outside the closet, face bright red.
"Now that we've all gone one round in the closet, are we free to go?" Sasuke asked the ceiling.
/I guess so. Now that you're all out of the closet, I'll just drop you off where I picked you up from- does that sound all right?/
"Considering I was at Iruka's place before I was brought here, that works." Kakashi said. Iruka nodded.
In the next instant, the two shinobi were gone.
"I'm expected back in Sunagakure." Gaara said. Lee, still red, spoke up.
"And if it's not too much trouble, voice-san, may I go with him?"
The voice in the ceiling snickered.
/Sure. Just at the Kazekage residence, right?/
Gaara nodded. Both he and Lee disappeared.
Sasuke and Itachi stared at each other for a few moments more, then Itachi closed his eyes, unconcerned.
"Kisame and I would like to be dropped off at the inn closest to the point you took us from."
The shark-nin grinned, grabbing Samehada from where he had left it against the wall.
/Done./
The two disappeared.
Sasuke glared at the spot his brother had been moments before, then turned to look at Naruto, glare disappearing.
"Coming with me, dobe?" he asked with the air of one who already knew the answer.
Pride begged Naruto to refuse, but something else entirely wanted to agree.
Sasuke stepped forward to whisper in Naruto's ear.
"Unless you're scared to continue where we left off."
The jab at Naruto's pride was all it took.
"I'm not scared. Let's go!"
They disappeared.
Once all eight of the shinobi had disappeared, a panel in the ceiling opened up. A rope ladder dropped from the panel and a shadowy figure climbed down. The figure glanced once, twice around the room to make sure all the ninja had been safely sent away.
Seeing that the coast was clear, the figure sneaked into the closet. The figure felt in the corners, smirking triumphantly as its hand found the small video camera it had placed there earlier.
Cackling, it pressed the button to open the camera so it could remove the tape. It reached into the slot, sensing victory...
And paused.
It looked closely at the camera, squinting as if that would help it to see.
No tape. Instead, a small sheet of paper was placed where the tape should have been.
'I doubt Iruka would like to know that we were being taped, so I confiscated it.'
It was signed with a little chibi figure of Kakashi holding up two fingers to form a 'V' for victory.
The shadowy figure slumped to its knees in defeat, the note becoming crumpled.
'Mental note: next time, hide the camera better.'
The End
A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed; thank you for reading! (And if anyone is reading 'In Dreams', I swear I'll update soon! Don't lose faith!)