Greetings, lovely people.
This is my first attempt at a Star Trek fic, so any feedback would be immensely appreciated! Also, I don't exactly know yet where this is going, but I guess we'll see. I will try to upload once every week or two, but you know, the more feedback I'll get, the more motivated I'll feel to write this story.
Anyway, hope you enjoy this prologue. To be continued (hopefully) very soon!
Live long and prosper.
DISCLAIMER. I do not own Star Trek. Unfortunately, a wonderful man invented it before me.
THE CAVE. Prologue
USS Enterprise. Stardate 2261.1.
The Enterprise was dead silent. The occasional sparkle of some circuits suddenly coming to life seemed to be the only sound disturbing the stillness of the air. The low and steady hum of the ship's engines had long since stopped. The warp core had been irreversibly damaged, and the life-support systems had collapsed almost everywhere, leaving the ship in a state of extreme degradation. Only the emergency lights were on, casting a dim and gloomy glow over the tangled mess of blood, wires, and metal.
The stillness was oppressing. Only two shadows moving rapidly along the decks were disrupting the deafening silence of the once luminous starship.
"Captain, I must protest, you cannot simply –"
"Mr. Spock, we already had this discussion. It's my duty. You know I have to."
Captain James T. Kirk was running along the now empty corridors of his beloved Enterprise. Spock was following his closely.
"Captain –"
"Commander, don't debate my orders. I must GO."
"Captain, if you had listened to my –"
Jim stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at his First Officer, panting.
"Listened to what, Spock? Your very reassuring statistics and all the possible ways this whole mission could just explode in our faces? Listen to how I of all people could fuck it up more than it already is? How I – and only I – was the one who fucked it up big time in the first place?"
Spock didn't answer, his eyes fixed on Jim.
"You might be right, I might be the one to blame. But… What is done is done, Spock. In any case, I have no choice. It is my duty. We are running out of time, here. Let me handle this."
He turned to resume his motion, but Spock quickly grabbed him by the arm to prevent it.
"Captain, please, let me do it instead."
Jim looked intensely at Spock.
"No, Spock, Never."
"Captain, you know that, as First Officer, I am –"
"NO. FUCKING. WAY. There is NO WAY you'll convince me you are less valuable, that you can do this better than me. That this whole shit is only fucking logical. For fuck's sake, Spock, I won't let you sacrifice your life because of me."
Jim started running again, as though the whole power of hell was about to unleash anytime behind him – which was the case.
"Captain, according to Starfleet regulations, you are perfectly aware that I am indeed more expandable than you are – you very well know it."
"Spock. Don't Starfleet me. FUCK Starfleet, Spock. All I need to know it's that it's my fucking Starfleet duty. And that's it. I won't let you die for this mission in my stead. Now, Spock, go to the transporter room and fucking beam down wherever you can with Bones and Scotty before it's too late."
They had finally arrived on the bridge. Somehow, the chaos here was even more heart wrenching. The different consoles had been almost completely destroyed and dismantled during the attack, burying half of the on duty crew under it. The scene seemed to be painfully petrified, as though artificially enhanced to look even more real.
"Captain, I will not let you die either."
Jim stopped abruptly.
"Why," he asked, without turning.
Spock was taken aback. He was prepared to debate any argument, any question the Captain would have asked, but this one – he couldn't. He looked at Jim, bewildered.
"Captain…"
"Why, Spock? Why won't you let me die? Just say it."
Jim turned around and stepped closer to the Vulcan. The captain's stare was hard and determined. Unable to keep eye contact, Spock dropped his head.
"I…", started Spock.
"You think you would do me a favor, by taking my place? That I cherish this life so much that the very idea of dying frightens me? Or maybe it's because it would look bad on your bloody fucking perfect résumé, is that it? It would damage your precious Vulcan reputation? To let your Captain die alone on his ship as is his duty? You would take it as a personal failure, wouldn't you? A fucking emotional failure. You would die rather than admit to emotions, wouldn't you?"
Spock suddenly looked up at Jim, profoundly hurt. He started answering but was stopped short by the intense emotional turmoil that was filling Jim's eyes. A turmoil that was dangerously close of overwhelming Spock as well.
"Well, guess what, I'll go down with the Enterprise if I fucking have to. And there's nothing – nothing – you, you of all people to be here at this moment, there is not a single thing you can do to prevent it. I won't let you stand between her and me."
Jim came even closer.
"But you still haven't answered. So why are you trying to protect poor James Kirk? Finally, I get to act properly, as my glorious father did. You should be pleased that I finally do what's right. Finally, I get to be in a no-win scenario and understand – I of all people – what dying on duty is. Aren't you happy now?"
Jim inhaled sharply and turned to face the destroyed bridge. Slowly, he looked around, taking in every detail of the destruction, as though encrypting it in his soul. His stare stopped back on Spock, hard and unforgiving, but also painfully desperate.
"So why do you offer to give your life for the ship, for the crew? I know it cannot be because of me. For Christ's sake, you made it very clear that you don't like me. So spill it out."
Spock raised a surprised eyebrow.
"That is inaccurate, Captain. I do not in fact 'don't like you', as you put it," said Spock before he could stop himself.
Jim narrowed his eyes, his glare somewhat faltering a little.
"You also have the erroneous presumption that I believe in no-win scenarios, which in fact I do not," continued Spock before Jim could answer.
Jim's jaw dropped significantly, as he looked at the undecipherable expression of his First Officer.
"Spock, what the hell are you trying to –"
"Jim."
Jim stared back at Spock, stunned by the softness the Commander had just used to say his name.
Then, Spock walked up to Jim until they were just inches away from each other, and put a hand on his arm.
"Jim. You might not always have been my friend – but you have to know that I always shall be yours."
Gently, he put his other hand on the Captain's shoulder.
"Jim, I do in fact like you. I would never have remained on the Enterprise for so long if I hadn't."
Unable to speak, Jim lowered his eyes. Slowly, he put his hands on Spock's.
"As for no-win scenarios, I think it is still possible for us to save what remains of the ship. Jim, I do not have any other hidden agenda right now. If I am still here, it is because I could not bear to let you walk away to die with the Enterprise."
Jim exhaled sharply, as though he had been holding his breath for a few minutes.
"Jim, I cannot watch you die, as I did with my mother. And I will not. You can charge me with insubordination, if you want, even with mutiny – that is if we survive this. Thus, I will not oblige, and leave the ship. I will remain on the bridge, Captain. At your side, as I always have been, as I always will be. And I will remain here, even if you stay, even if you go. And we will get the Enterprise out of this. Together.
"Jim. Let me help."
Jim was crying now. Spock didn't think he had ever seen him cry. Slowly, he looked up to meet Spock's dark brown eyes.
"Spock… I'm scared. I am so scared."
Spock tightened his grip on Jim's arm and shoulder. They looked at each other, as they never had before. Everything was there: their raw, complex, overflowing emotions, conflicts – and desires. And somehow, Jim saw himself in Spock's deep stare, just as Spock saw himself in Jim's. Both their resolution in the prospect of certain death seemed to harden, pulling its strength from each other. With a nod, Jim motioned Spock to the helm, still miraculously in semi-working order.
"Let's get the hell out of here."
SO. What did you think? Another chapter before friday if I get some reviews! :)