When the Sun Goes Down
"And so I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
Life's too short to even care at all oh.."
Night had fallen, setting a dark mood among those who acknowledged what had happened early that week. Dave tried to kill himself because he was being tormented for being gay. No one had expected it.
Sebastian Smythe slammed his fists hard against the wall, punching it a few times as well. His frustrations, his guilt over everything that happened was eating away at him. He didn't know what to do to make it go away. He burned the photo-shopped pictures of Finn, set up places where those who attended Regionals could donate to the "Born This Way" Foundation, dedicated their performance to Dave, tried to mend burned bridges, etc. Yet nothing seemed to clear his conscious. He was a reason that someone else almost died.
He was selfish. The walls he built up to protect himself only caused pain for others. His stupid actions nearly cost someone else their life. The dark haired singer flexed his fingers in front of his face. His hands were bloody and bruised. If anything, Sebastian felt ten times worse.
"Taking your frustrations out on inanimate objects isn't going to make you feel better," a harmonious voice called from the other side of the room. Sebastian turned around only to see Santana Lopez standing by the door, arms folded. The two stood on opposite sides of the room, the same one in which they performed "Smooth Criminal". Chairs were toppled, lying scattered across the floor.
"I learned," he responded, his voice sharp. Santana only raised her eyebrow and watched as Sebastian picked a chair off of the ground and set it correctly. He needed something to do with his hands instead of bashing them against the walls. He quickly made his way to the center of the room fixing other chairs that he had knocked down.
"Sebastian-" Santana said with a sympathetic sigh and made a move to come closer to Sebastian but he held his hands up, causing her to stop.
"No. Don't come any closer. I'm fine so why don't you just leave." His weak voice and vulnerable eyes betrayed the vicious look that had settled on his face. The cheerleader tried to move towards the center of the room but the Warbler rushed away, heading towards one of the far walls.
"You can't run away Sebastian." She called to him, marching over. Sebastian punched the wall, instantly regretting it as his already sore knuckles throbbed. "You can't run from your problems, you can't run from life. It's going to catch up to you." He wished that her words would fall on deaf ears but he just couldn't tune her out. "But I guess you already know that, don't you?" Anger flared in him at her reference to what happened to Dave. She must have known how guilty he felt so why did she fell the need to- He shook his head. This was Santana he was talking about and that was an answer enough in itself.
"Fuck off, Santana," the male singer warned. He voice sounded venomous but when he turned to look at the girl, he saw it had no effect on her. He swiveled on his foot and, stupidly, punched the wall once more. A shaky breath left his lips and he leaned against the wall, covering his face with his hands before slowly sliding down to the floor.
Life had caught up to him, quickly too, in the most unexpected way. The comments that usually left his mouth all escaped without a filter. He said what was on his mind and mostly, what he truly thought. But now he realized the full price of his words.
Sebastian rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his hands from his face. His dark eyes bore into the ground, trying to stop any tears from filling his eyes. He could feel the presence of Santana as she gently sat on the floor beside him, legs lying in front of them.
"What's with the dress?" he asked, referring pink bridesmaid dress the Latina wore.
"Hudson and Berry were getting married," she responded in a dull tone. Her gaze became fixed on Sebastian's face, waiting for his eyes to meet hers instead of continuing his staring contest with the ground.
"Why aren't you there? Runaway bridesmaid?"
It was clear, the anger in his voice. How could someone have a wedding, a happy and joyous event, when a person that they all knew tried to kill themselves? How did people have the ability, one he himself used to be skilled at, to just move on and forget about what happened? Sebastian just couldn't get over what happened.
"It got cancelled." She spoke with slight hesitation and Sebastian looked up to see Santana looking back at him, her eyes holding back tears. Their shoulders were touching and he felt her shake, trying to suppress a sob. Before he had time to utter a, most likely idiotic, comment, the independent girl continued. "Quinn got in a car accident."
Sebastian stared numbly at the Latina as she struggled more and more to hold back her tears. He slowly and gently grabbed her hand, something neither of them expected. Each of them knew that they connected that day in the coffee shop. The Warbler had spoken directly to her, as if trying to send a message to her. "From one bitch to another," she had said at the beginning of the confrontation. It was really him though that had given her advice.
The regrets of her past had been haunting her since that day, the regrets that she tried to keep in the back of her mind, locked away forever. They understood each other. They knew what the other was going through on a level no one else would be able to comprehend. Maybe, just maybe, they could find a friendship in this mess.
"Why aren't you visiting her?" His question was a simple one but Santana couldn't find the correct words to express her reasoning. Because really, she didn't even know.
"I don't know," she said, her voice quivering. "I got in my car and I planned on going straight to the hospital but I ended up here." She choked back a sob, closing her eyes in hope of preventing the tears from escaping. "I just…" A deep breath escaped her lips and she unintentionally squeezed Sebastian's hand as he listened closely. "I just couldn't see her like that." She opened her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek, another quickly following, and looked over to the Warbler that sat beside her on the floor.
The only sound in the room was Santana's cries and Sebastian tried his best to soothe the upset girl. She let the tears fall freely, not bothering to wipe them away.
"I can't deal with her lying there, not moving. It's like she's dead. I don't want to see her hooked up to annoying as hell wires." Her shoulders shook violently as she cried. A week ago Santana would have never believed that she cried in front of an enemy of hers, especially Sebastian. But now, it was what she needed. "It's just not fucking fair. Everything was finally going right in her life."
Silence filled the room. Santana quietly cried but still held a firm grip on Sebastian's hand.
"What happened to not running away from your problems?" If he had said it on any other day, Santana would have thought he was mocking her. And maybe he was a little now but she knew that he wanted to know why she would offer advice that herself would not take. A laugh emitted from her lips. Sebastian watched curiously as the cheerleader just looked straight ahead.
"It's not entirely your fault, you know." She spoke in a quiet but firm tone. "What happened to Dave I mean." Sebastian tensed at the subject. He needed a distraction to get away from the subject because he knew damn well that it was indeed his fact. He tore people down; it was what he was best at. But maybe he wasn't proud of this defense mechanism. It had been produced to shield himself from pain but it only increased it.
"I'm an idiot," he said. He watched as Santana quickly wiped a tear off of her cheek. "I didn't think twice of how what I said would affect him and looked where it landed him. He tried to kill himself. I may not have been the one that did those things at his school but maybe if I didn't say what I did, he wouldn't have tried to give up so quickly, so easily." Sebastian hadn't even noticed the tear that slowly travelled down his face.
"Dave, he's been doing better. He leaves the hospital tomorrow," she offered in hopes to comfort him. Sebastian only shook his head.
"It doesn't take away the fact I contributed to what he did."
"So we all make mistakes. I think you and I know that best, especially now." Sebastian sighed and rubbed his free hand over his face, fingers getting wet from the tears that began to slowly flow from his eyes. "But now we've got to learn from them." If he had heard this at any other time, Sebastian would have, not so politely, told the person to go away, that he didn't need a lecture. But he needed to hear those words, accepting the little comfort it gave him and the tiny bit of guilt that it rid him of.
Without warning, Santana stood, her hand leaving his. "Where are you going?" He asked the question too quickly for his liking and he immediately got up to stand beside her. At this moment, all he wanted was a friend. A friend like Santana who understood him and what he felt, what he was going through.
"I believe we have some people we need to visit." She began to make her way towards the exit. Sebastian was quick to follow her, eventually stepping in tune with her own walking.
"I'm glad you came," he muttered, giving her a small smile. Santana gave him one back. She grabbed his hand as a way to comfort him while they walked to Santana's car. When they were to face Dave and Quinn, they'd have each other's support. Because damn, as much as she loved Brittany, she wouldn't understand Santana's feelings. And Sebastian couldn't, wouldn't, let the other Warblers know that maybe, just maybe, he did have a heart; one that cared about what happened to others despite what even he himself wanted to believe. No one quite knew what they were going through like each other, like the two new friends.
"The sun goes down,
The stars come out,
And all that counts
Is here and now.
My universe will never be the same;
I'm glad you came."
A/N: Sorry if they're OOC but I felt like with the accidents being what they are, it'd be understandable.
By the way, them holding hands is (as much as I would love for Sebtana to happen) just as a friendly gesture. Because I truly feel like they could become friends after the scene in the coffee shop in "On My Way". They definitely related to each other during Sebastian's talk.
I also know that Santana & Sebastian are both gay and Brittana is really cute but really, the sexual tension and everything between them is insane.
Hope you enjoyed reading it!
:)