Betty was so unhappy, yet she couldn't quite put her finger on why. Life at Mode had become much more bearable since Matt decided to become an underwater shark photographer for the Discovery Channel. Matt had been such a jerk, but Betty couldn't wish that kind of horrible death on anyone. Nothing left but a femur... Although she hadn't loved him in quite some time, the thought of his fate still left her a little sick. But she had to face the fact that even with Matt gone, the job was not what she wanted. She clearly was not cut out for the fashion world.
She missed Daniel. She didn't realize how close they had become, like brother and sister, really. He now had a new assistant and because of the changes in the company he wasn't in charge of her at all. And to top it all off, he was seriously depressed over the loss of his wife, Molly. She tried to help him as much as she could, but really, he just sucked what little life was left in her right out of her. It was best that they didn't see each other too much for now.
Life at home wasn't much better. Her sister was seriously involved with a great guy and didn't have a lot of time for her. Her father, after his recent health scare, had thrown himself into his job and dating with total gusto, as if he was given a second chance at life and he wasn't going to blow it. Her nephew had reached his mid-teens, that limbo between childhood and adulthood, and he was pulling away from the family as he tried to figure out his own life. Betty knew this was normal, and he would be close to them again one day, but that didn't make it hurt less.
Her best, and really her only, friend had moved out of the country and the occasional call or e-mail just wasn't the same.
That wasn't exactly true - she'd had another friend and totally made a mess of that relationship and hurt him to the point that she couldn't see him anymore. She missed him more that she would have ever thought possible.
No love life, no friends, family too busy for her and an unfulfilling job. Betty had never been so alone or unhappy in her life.
Betty sat down at the family's dining room table with her head in her hands. She was too tired and too sad to even cry. She thought of her situation and saw no way out. She also saw the large collection of pill bottles on the china cabinet. Her father had to take a lot of medicine for his condition. She briefly considered ending it all, but deep down inside she was too optimistic for that. Things would get better one day. Plus, she couldn't bring herself to waste her Papi's meds.
She would tough it out. Something would turn up.
The next day at work she decided to confide in Amanda, her ex-roommate and kind of sometimes friend. She told Amanda how miserable her life was and for once, Amanda was kind. Amanda said, "I know a place you should go online. It's called 'losers in love .com.' Your kind hangs out there and tells their sad stories and everyone feels better about themselves because they know they aren't the only sad sacks around. Or so I hear, it's not like I would ever go there or anything." With that, Amanda turned quickly to answer a phone call, but Betty could have sworn the phone didn't beep.
As she walked to her office, she thought about what Amanda had said. Would it make her feel better to go to a site like that. And Betty had tried online dating once and that had been a disaster. When she thought of being dumped at a bowling alley by an unappealing stranger she decided that maybe she did qualify as a loser in love. She decided to check it out as soon as she got home.
She returned to an empty house, again, and decided to turn on her computer. She typed in the web address and was ready to read some sad stories. Unfortunately, she had to sign up for a membership. She didn't have to give much personal information, but she did have to come up with a screen name. She didn't want anything that would let anyone identify her. So no names or references to Mode. She tried "rolling in regret" but that was taken. She decided on "Quitter in Queens." Queens was a big place and there had to be a lot of quitters there. She logged in and started reading the posts of love's other losers. Some were ridiculous, some were disturbing, but most were just sad. She decided she would tell a really generic version of her story but found that she was really focusing on her experience with Gio. She told how she had loved and lost her best friend because she was stupid and now she was alone and miserable and didn't even want to try anymore. She even admitted how much she took him for granted and how mean she was to him. She didn't understand why. She said if she ever got another chance like that, she wouldn't blow it again.
She had to admit she felt better getting that off her chest. She had never really admitted her feelings about Gio to anyone in her life. Maybe this place could help her after all.
She got up the next morning and turned on the computer. She logged on to LIL and had a message. She clicked on it with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. It was from someone called "leatherman." He seemed like a really nice guy and said that he was from Queens, too, and was also quitting his love life. He said he had a really similar experience to hers, but he was on the other end. He loved his best friend with all his heart and she totally rejected him and left him heartbroken. He was clearly sad, yet his message still managed to be kind of funny. He sounded like the kind of guy she could like. This site might turn out to be good for her.
She started thinking of "leatherman" and what she would write to him in reply.
At first they talked of their failed relationships in very non-specific terms. They decided the other people involved were just jerks. When they were tired of complaining, they started discussing others interests - books, movies, politics, religion, everything but the real details of their lives. Days turned into weeks and they still had so much to talk about. They just seemed to hit it off, even online. Betty was shocked that you could become so attached to someone you had never met. Or how much she looked forward to his messages. They had become the bright spot in her day.
Betty was even more shocked when she opened her message one morning and saw this: "Morning, Queenie. How about you take a chance and meet me for a cup of coffee in the park. Hundreds of people will be around and I promise you I am not a sex offender."
Betty was stunned. She loved her conversations with L-Man, but she didn't think she was ready to meet him. She sent him a message back. "I don't know if I'm ready to meet you. What if you don't like me? And I'm not what you would probably consider pretty."
Later that day she had another message. "I really want to meet you and I don't care what you look like. You have a beautiful soul."
Betty was scared out of her wits to meet him, but that last line really got to her. Had she met someone who didn't care what she looked like?
They made plans to meet at noon on Saturday at a nearby park in Queens. They decided on a certain bench by the fountain. Betty was still scared, but she didn't want to tell anyone what she was up to. It was kind of embarassing. And since it was Thursday, she had a couple of days to really freak out.
Saturday morning dawned clear and beautiful. Betty took this as a good sign. She truly believed she could have some kind of chance with this L-Man or she wouldn't have agreed to meet him. She showered and fixed her hair and tried on too many outfits to count before giving up and wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror and decided that was the best she could do. She took a deep breath and walked out the door and down the road toward the park.
When she got in the park, she headed slowly toward the fountain. There was still time to go home. She was wearing a large pair of dark sunglasses so her eyes wouldn't give her away if she saw him and he was awful. As she got closer to the fountain she could see a nice looking, dark haired man holding a lovely bouquet of flowers. She felt sick to her stomach. This had to be him. Did she have enough nerve to go up to him. She turned around and started walking home. Then she stopped short. She told herself she had let too many chances get away and she had to give this a shot.
She turned around and walked straight up to the man on the bench, approaching him from behind. As she got closer she could see that he also had on dark glasses - and seemed to be really good looking. She stood behind him and cleared her throat. He turned to look at her and smiled. Her heart seemed to stop. When he asked "Queenie?" she knew. She would never forget that voice. For a brief moment she considered running, but knew that wouldn't be right. "Gio?" she asked. He took off his glasses and gave her a closer look. "Betty, is that you?" She also removed her glasses and smiled. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever and then they both burst into laughter. He handed her the flowers and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
They walked to a food cart and got their coffee and went to sit down on the bench to talk. Betty began by apologizing for taking him for granted and the way she treated him. She said she really didn't understand why she did it, but she believed she was scared of him. Gio asked why she was scared. She was silent for a minute and said the way he thought she was beautiful and wanted her so much never made sense to her. She always felt, deep down, that he was making fun of her.
Gio leaned over and grabbed her face in his hands. He made her look into his eyes. He told her he would never have made fun of her about something serious. He loved her and he did think she was beautiful. At this, Betty began to cry. Gio leaned over and wiped the tears from her face. This just made her cry harder. Gio stared deeply into her eyes to see what he could find there. He then leaned over and kissed her with all the passion he had been holding in for such a long time now. Betty was stunned at first but then returned his kiss with equal passion. She couldn't believe how wonderful it was.
When they finally broke apart, she looked at him and told him again how sorry she was for how she treated him. He said, "Just don't do it again" and leaned in again to kiss her like she'd never been kissed before. She thought for a minute she might pass out. Before she knew it, they were kissing like crazy people and touching each other in every way they could that wouldn't get them arrested for public indecency.
"Get a room." Some guy said loudly as he walked by. Gio pulled away and looked at Betty. "You heard what the man said." Betty looked unsure. Gio said, "Betty, I love you. I have for a long time. I would never hurt you, you know that."
"Yes, I do know that. And Gio, I trust you. Oh, and I love you, too."
After one more kiss, they walked away hand in hand to start again. And do better this time.