Based on the book Teen Idol by Meg Cabot.
Also guys, I worked really hard on this so it would mean a lot if you could leave a review if you enjoy it.
Dear Abby,
I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist. What's the best way to find someone and get them to fall in love with you? He's gorgeous and talented and he lives in California.
Lovestruck.
Dear Lovestruck,
Does your crush by any chance go by the name of Roan King? If so, get a grip. Try and find someone you actually have a chance with.
Abby.
Octavia and Niylah are already waiting in Niylah's car by the time Principal Jaha is done with Clarke, and Octavia doesn't look impressed.
"What took you so long?" she scowls, once Clarke is in earshot.
"Sorry," Clarke says, refraining from mentioning that if Octavia was that desperate to get away from school she could always get a lift with her brother and his girlfriend. She's mentioned it before and was presented with a long list of reasons as to why that is absolutely not an option. The main one being that she doesn't care to see Bellamy and Raven sucking face all the way home. Octavia maintains that Bellamy somehow manages to make out with his girlfriend and drive a car at the same time, but Clarke has never known Octavia to be logical.
"What did Jaha want anyway?" she asks as the three of them get into the car, Niylah driving, Octavia riding shotgun and Clarke in the back.
"He thinks I should run for school captain next year," Clarke lies easily.
"As if," Octavia snorts. "I mean, you could definitely win, everyone likes you. But you don't have the guts to make the hard decisions."
"I don't think school captains have to make that many hard decisions," Niylah says dryly, but Clarke's mostly just glad her lie was believed so easily. Not that she thought it wouldn't be. She has grown quite accustomed to lying to her friends, ever since the start of the school year when she was given the job as the advice columnist on the school paper, otherwise known as Ask Abby. Anonymity is crucial, or else no one will send in any problems and the column would be pointless. So the only people who know of her role are the head of English, Mr. Kane, and the head of the paper, Bellamy. Everyone else just thinks she handles the layout.
"Still," Octavia shrugs, always needing to have the last word.
"What are you doing this weekend, Octavia?" Niylah asks Octavia, and Clarke does her best not to grimace, scrutinising her fingernails intently, pretending not to listen.
"I don't have any plans yet," Octavia shrugs.
"Do you want to maybe go see a movie or something?"
"Sure," Octavia says instantly. "That sounds great, right Clarke?"
"Oh, I meant-," Niylah starts, but Octavia barrels on.
"Maybe we could invite Bell and Raven as well," she suggests. "As long as they promise to actually watch the movie."
"Um, sure," Niylah sighs, defeated. They pull up outside Clarke and Octavia's houses, next door to each other, and Octavia shoots out of the car. "You're still coming over to run through lines later though, right?" Niylah asks. Octavia shrugs, glancing at Clarke.
"I'll see if I feel like it," she says offhandedly, before shutting the car door.
"Thanks, Niylah," Clarke says as she gets out of the car. "Say hi to your dad for me." Niylah smiles and nods, driving away once Clarke has the door shut.
"I know what you're thinking," Octavia says.
"I'm not thinking anything."
"It's not my fault I'm not attracted to women."
"I know," Clarke says, because she's right. Of course, Clarke isn't really a fan of the way Octavia treats Niylah, which is barely even like a friend sometimes. She uses her for rides, knowing Niylah is half in love with her. And yeah, Clarke could say something. But it's none of her business, and she doesn't want to start conflict. So she just does her best to smooth things over.
"Anyway, you know I'm saving myself for Roan King," Octavia continues and Clarke somehow manages to keep her face void of all expression. "It seems like a long shot, now I know, because he's famous and I'm not. But I'm going to be famous one day. Also he broke up with Echo, did you hear?"
"That's great news," Clarke humours her.
"Anyway, I need to go and practise my lines for the play. I'll see you tomorrow," Octavia says, flouncing off into her house, just as Raven exits, followed by Bellamy.
"Hey, Clarke," Bellamy calls, and Raven gives a wave. Clarke waves back before fleeing into her own house, before she has to witness the make out session that's surely about to happen. Those two can never seem to keep their hands off each other, much to the disgust of everyone around them. She supposes it makes sense that all they do is make out though, because other than both being on the school paper they don't really have all that much in common. Bellamy's obsessed with history, which Raven thinks is as boring as watching grass grow, and Bellamy couldn't care less about maths or science or mechanics, which is what Raven's into. Clarke gets the suspicion Raven thinks she's much smarter than Bellamy, which Clarke knows isn't true of course. They're just smart in different ways.
Neither her mom or her dad are home yet, so Clarke heads straight to her room to work on her homework, but she finds her mind wandering to her meeting with Principal Jaha. She's not sure what she'd been expecting when she'd been called to his office but it certainly wasn't this.
That tomorrow none other than Hollywood Heartthrob Roan King would be attending their country high school as part of his research for an upcoming role. He was a child star and homeschooled, so never got the high school experience.
And apparently Clarke is the only one who's allowed to know about it. And not only that, she also has to make sure no one else finds out, since he wants to be treated like a normal high school student, and that obviously won't happen if everyone knows he's a famous actor. She is allowed to tell her parents, but other than that the only people in the loop are Principal Jaha and herself.
Clarke is pretty sure she's never heard a worse idea in her life. For starters, the role Roan King is apparently researching for is just your average high school bad boy from any teen rom com, so she doesn't get why he can't just watch 10 Things I Hate About You and be done with it.
Second of all, she has no idea how Principal Jaha and Roan's manager or whatever think that no one is going to recognise him. Besides the fact that half the girls in the school probably have his poster on their wall, Roan is twenty, and looks older. He may be able to pass for a high school student in a movie where all the teenagers are played by twenty somethings – but in a real high school? She's pretty sure there isn't a hope in hell that he isn't going to be mobbed by horny girls as soon as he sets foot on the premises.
But it's not her place to argue the point so she just agreed to be Roan's guide around the school and promised his secret would be safe with her. Which it will be, since Clarke honestly can't care less about some famous guy with nice abs and a tattoo of his now ex-girlfriend's name across his chest. (Octavia had been distraught when that news came out). She definitely knows guys in real life who are just as hot, if not hotter. No one in particular of course, just in general.
She sighs, putting away her biology homework and opening her email account. Not her personal account, but the one she uses for the school paper, for the advice column.
The column is called Ask Abby, which she thinks is quite clever really, since most people will just assume it's named after the famous advice column, Dear Abby, and not after Clarke's mother. Hide in plain sight, they say.
She usually gets four or five emails a week, sometimes more, and at least one of them is from the same person each week, Maya Vie.
Most people write in anonymously, but Maya never bothers. Maya has a string of issues, the main one being that she's bullied at school and online constantly.
She doesn't have any emails from Maya today, but she sifts through a few others, thinking about what her response will be. She drops it immediately, however, when she gets a text from Bellamy a minute later.
Bellamy
Today 4:53pm
Raven thinks you're mad
Why?
Because you only waved this afternoon instead of stopping to say hi
I'm definitely not mad. What would I even be mad about?
That I gave your story idea to Monty apparently
I mean she doesn't know about your other job
But I just thought I'd check
I promise I'm not mad
I like my other job
Okay. Good.
Did Octavia tell you we're going to the movies on Saturday?
No. Are you inviting me?
Yeah, you can tell Raven, right?
I guess so
Okay, see you tomorrow
Dear Abby,
I really like this girl, one of my friends, but every time I try to ask her on a date she misunderstands me. I want to ask her to the Spring Fling, but I'm afraid she'll think I mean as friends and wait for a guy to ask her. Sometimes she comes over and we make out, but she says she's just experimenting and that all girls have that phase. I think she's into me but doesn't want to admit it. What should I do?
Girl Crush
Dear Girl Crush
It's possible that she knows exactly what you want, but just isn't ready yet. It's hard to come out in high school, not everyone is as comfortable with their sexuality as you. If you give her some time she might eventually overcome her fears. Of course, it's also possible that she's just straight and biphobic.
Good luck! Abby.
Clarke kind of wishes she'd had more time to prepare for meeting Roan King. Not that she really knows how you can prepare for meeting somebody so famous, but still, more time would have been nice.
She's never been one to particularly obsess over celebrities and she rarely even remembers actors names, so she's not really expecting to be tongue tied when Roan is introduced to her in Jaha's office. His mom and manager, Nia, is there too, looking stern and judgemental.
And Roan doesn't even really look like Roan. He's wearing glasses and his hair has been cut and styled into that hairstyle teenage boys are obsessed with these days. And he doesn't have his signature stubble either, so yeah, he looks different. He doesn't look sixteen, but he doesn't look exactly like one expects Roan King to look either, although Clarke is still sceptical that the diehard fans (Octavia) won't see through it. He is, however, still smoking hot.
"Clarke, this is Roan and Nia," Jaha introduces, and Clarke just nods, unable to form words. She curses herself inwardly. He's just a person for god's sake. Sure, a super hot and famous person, but still just a person.
"He'll be going by the name Ronan Prince," Nia informs Clarke and Clarke almost rolls her eyes. Like no one is going to figure that out, even with the glasses and haircut. "He'll be here for three weeks." Clarke nods again and Nia looks satisfied.
"So, Roan," Jaha grins and claps his hands together. "I mean Ronan," he chuckles. "Just follow Clarke around and she won't lead you astray." Clarke smiles and Roan nods at her, and the bell rings so Clarke leads him to their first class.
Roan doesn't talk much, as it turns out. He just kind of follows Clarke around and sometimes she rambles about the school and he nods to show he's listening. Clarke wonders if maybe he thinks he's too cool to talk to her. After all, he probably is. He's a celebrity after all, and Clarke's greatest achievement is the time she got a participation ribbon for the school swimming carnival. She supposes it's not the surprising that he doesn't talk to her much.
What is surprising is that no one recognises him. Sure, heaps of people ogle at him. He's hot after all. But no one starts screaming or asking for his autograph or even politely asking if he is in fact Roan King. Not even Octavia, when they have drama together.
Octavia fauns over him, as does Ms Sydney, once she figures out he's good at acting. In fact pretty much everyone fauns over him, and Clarke can hardly blame them. He's obviously gorgeous, and when he actually speaks he's very charming. Not to mention he's obviously talented (Clarke wants to tell him to dial it down a bit lest people suspect he's actually a professional actor). Octavia tries to convince Ms Sydney to replace Wick as the leading man in the play with "Ronan" and Clarke swears the drama teacher is almost convinced.
"So, Ronan," Octavia says on their way to lunch. "Where did you move here from?" she asks, fluttering her eyelashes a little, making Clarke want to be sick.
"From L.A. actually," he says. "My mom homeschooled me."
Clarke isn't sure whether she's more annoyed that he seems to be actively trying to make people realise who he is, or the fact that those two sentences are more than he's said to her all day. Probably the former, but it doesn't seem to matter, since Octavia remains totally oblivious.
"There are a lot of kids at this school," Roan notes after they've grabbed some food and grabbed a table in the cafeteria.
"Not really. Ours is actually kind of small in comparison to others," Octavia tells him and he nods, his signature move. Niylah joins them then, and Octavia introduces her as a friend, and Clarke can't help but notice Niylah's disappointment.
"You must be Ronan," Raven says brightly as she sits at the table, next to Octavia and across from Roan. Bellamy plonks himself down next to Clarke, since Octavia has a rule that he can only sit with them if he doesn't sit next to Raven. Octavia takes all precautions to never see her brother and his girlfriend making out. Which seems to be working actually, since Clarke can't actually remember the last time she caught them so much as holding hands.
"News travels fast," Roan notes with a wry smile, flicking a glace at Clarke.
"Welcome to Arkadia High," Raven continues. "I'm Raven, that's my boyfriend Bellamy. We're seniors."
"Good to know," Roan says.
"You look kind of old," Raven notes. "Are you sure you're a junior?"
"Raven," Clarke warns, but Roan isn't fazed.
"I was homeschooled so they held me back a couple years," he lies easily.
"So you're eighteen?"
"Sure."
"Me too," Raven says.
"No offence, but is there somewhere else to get food?" Roan asks looking down at his plate. "This isn't exactly appetising."
"Here, have some of mine," Bellamy says, offering the lunch he's brought from home, which Clarke knows he cooked himself. Roan takes one look and quickly grabs the Tupperware container from Bellamy's hands, devouring what's left.
It's while Roan is stuffing his face that Maya Vie enters cafeteria. And Clarke doesn't even have to be looking at the door to know that Maya has walked through it, because above the din of the cafeteria, she can hear a voice, belonging to John Murphy, making gorilla noises. He's soon joined by a few others, and the people around him who aren't joining in are just laughing.
"What's going on?" Roan asks.
"It's nothing," Clarke tells him.
It's something, of course. But it's too much to explain to Roan on his first day.
The thing is that Maya's dad is really strict, and he won't let her do hardly anything that normal teenagers are allowed to do. She isn't allowed to have a phone, she isn't allowed to any parties, and she isn't allowed to wear make up or shave her legs.
It's the last thing that earned her the nickname Gorilla.
And it isn't fair really, because with the clothes Maya wears most of the time you can't even see her legs. But people know, and that's enough.
The vicious calls get to Maya easily, and tears well her in eyes and her fists clench. Clarke averts her eyes, as does the rest of their table, while Roan watches in confusion.
By the time Maya has her food and looks around the cafeteria to see no empty tables, the gorilla noises have died down, but Murphy is walking over to her, and Clarke can't bear to watch.
But most of the rest of the students are watching on, and it's as quiet as it ever gets in the cafeteria.
"Hey," Murphy smirks and Maya just stands there in confusion. "I'm having a party on the weekend. Want to come?"
"I…" Maya starts, but Murphy cuts her off.
"It's a costume party. Dress up as your favourite animal. Guess you won't need much of a costume," Murphy snorts. Maya's bottom lip trembles, but she manages to keep it together.
That is until someone sitting back at Murphy's table throws a baked potato at her head, yelling, "Go back to the jungle!" She bursts into tears then, and flees from the cafeteria.
"What the fuck?" Roan asks, watching Maya go.
"Don't worry," Octavia shrugs. "Clarke'll fix her up."
"This has happened before?" he asks incredulously.
"At least once a week," Raven shakes her head in pity. Clarke just stands up and follows Maya out of the cafeteria. She heads towards the girls bathroom, knowing that's where Maya will be, but she's surprised to hear someone call out her name. She turns to find none other than Roan following her.
"Seriously, Clarke," he says shaking his head. "What the hell?"
"Don't worry about it, Roan," Clarke tells him. "It happens all the time."
"And you think that's okay?" he asks incredulously, and Clarke stops, taken aback.
"Well…" she starts.
"Don't you think you should have done something?" he accuses, and Clarke feels herself losing patience with him. It's not like he'd done anything. And he doesn't know about the countless emails from Maya that Clarke has replied to, assuring her that she's fine the way she is. "You say this happens all the time and yet you haven't done anything about it."
"I am doing something," she snaps, surprising even herself. "And how dare you, by the way. You barely speak to me all day and then proceed to tell me off for something you know nothing about? You don't know what it's like to be in high school, okay? What, you think it's as easy as asking Murphy to stop? Welcome to the real world, Mr. Movie Star. Why don't you go back to Hollywood if you want everything to be perfect all the time," Clarke spits, and she turns and marches into the bathroom before Roan can respond.
"Claarke!" Maya wails, when Clarke walks into the bathroom. "Why do they do this to me?"
"Because they're idiots, Maya," Clarke tells her.
"I just want them to like me," Maya sobs. Clarke knows this, of course, and not even just because of the Ask Abby thing. Maya tells her often. And to be honest, Clarke thinks that might be half the problem. If Maya just didn't care what they said, stopped trying to get people who aren't worth her time to like her, stopped reacting to every little comment Murphy and his gang would get bored and stop. But Maya never listens to Clarke's advice.
"I know," Clarke says. "But their opinion doesn't matter."
"That's easy for you to say. Everyone likes you," Maya huffs, and the crying has stopped now, so that's something. And Maya's right. Clarke can't really deny that everyone likes her. She's nice, she's pretty and she never causes a fuss. It helps that her parents are rich and let her do what she likes for the most part. But that really shouldn't be everything.
The bell rings then, and Maya splashes her face with water before heading back out into the hall, leaving Clarke to take a deep breath before heading back out herself, to face Roan. Who is probably kind of mad at her right now, given her outburst. Which she doesn't even understand herself if she's honest. She hardly ever gets mad, and when she does she certainly doesn't let people know about it.
She half expects Roan to have taken off, after all she's supposed to be his student guide and part of that job entails being nice to him, but he's still waiting in the hall when she comes out of the bathroom. And he doesn't even look mad.
"What class do we have now?" he asks, as if nothing happened.
"Um. Chemistry. Aren't you mad?" she asks.
"That you yelled at me?" Roan smirks.
"I didn't yell."
"We're good, Griffin. Think I'll be changing my name to Mr. Movie Star. That was a good one," he jokes and Clarke can't help but smile even as she rolls her eyes.
"Shut up. Someone will hear you," she says, and Roan just continues grinning as he follows her to class.
Dear Abby,
My life sucks. Everyone at school hates me and picks on me. They call me Gorilla because I have hairy legs, but it's not my fault because my dad won't let me shave them! How can I get people to like me?
Maya.
Dear Maya,
All you need to do to get people to like you is be yourself! Stop letting other people dictate your happiness and take control of your own life. Do what's best for you, not what's best for you dad or your classmates. You're the most important person in your life!
Abby.
After that, Roan seems to warm up to Clarke, and Clarke even begins to think of him as kind of a friend, not a famous movie star. She tells him about being Ask Abby, because after all she knows one of his secrets, it's only fair.
He goes to all her classes for the rest of the week, and to the meetings for the school paper. The only school activity he doesn't go to is rehearsals for the school play. He says he already knows enough about acting, and Clarke thinks he's probably right. She kind of wishes she could also skip rehearsals, since she's only doing the play because Octavia made her.
Roan even agrees to go to the cinema with them, and Clarke just hopes there isn't one of his movies showing, because that would surely just be tempting fate.
Fortunately, there are no Roan King movies showing, and they end up seeing a random comedy. Unfortunately, it's probably the most awkward cinema experience of Clarke's life. Octavia, of course, makes sure she's sitting next to Roan, and not next to Niylah. And since Roan is already seated between Clarke and Raven, Octavia makes Clarke move so she can sit next to him, since Raven refuses to move, so Clarke ends up between Bellamy and Niylah.
"This is so not what I had in mind," Niylah mutters to Clarke and Clarke just gives her a sympathetic look.
"And no making out, you two!" Octavia hisses at Raven and Bellamy, and Clarke glances at Bellamy to see him rolling his eyes as he tucks his phone into his pocket, not at all amused by his sister's comment.
"Everything okay?" Clarke asks him quietly. He looks at her and gives her a half hearted smile.
"Fine," he assures her, giving her arm a light squeeze where it rests on the armrest. And then for some weird reason she finds it hard to focus on anything but the spot where he'd touched her for a good half an hour.
The rest of the movie passes without incident, much to Clarke's relief. No making out occurs, between Bellamy and Raven or between Octavia and Roan, and Clarke is probably too thankful about both.
After the movie, Clarke suggests they go to Murphy's party. She doesn't really want to go, but she figures a high school party is probably something Roan should get to experience in his short time here.
"That was a real party?" Roan asks.
"Yeah," Clarke says. "It was just Maya's invitation that wasn't real. And the costume part." Roan's face darkens slightly when she mentions Maya and she wonders if he's recalling how she told him off, even though he said he didn't care.
"Will there be alcohol?" he asks.
"Most likely," Clarke shrugs, though it doesn't really concern her as she doesn't drink.
"Let's go then," Roan says.
The party is already in full swing when they get there, and Roan seems to have a drink in his hand the second they walk through the door. There are plenty of drunken teenagers around, and Murphy's house is full of people from their school. Clarke is pretty sure everyone but Maya was invited, even the freshmen.
It doesn't take long for Clarke to lose all her friends. She's waylaid by Lexa and her posse while Octavia and Niylah disappear into the crowd to find alcohol, then Raven claims her song is on and drags Roan off to dance. Bellamy and Clarke share a look of amusement before Bellamy is dragged into a conversation with Monty and Jasper.
"Clarke," Lexa says stonily, because stony is pretty much her only expression. "Is your friend Ronan single?"
"Uh, yes?" Clarke responds in confusion, because Lexa is the only other girl at their school who is out apart from Niylah. Even Clarke herself hasn't come out yet, except to Octavia and Bellamy.
"Ontari wants his number," Lexa says, gesturing to her friend. Apparently Ontari doesn't know how to speak for herself. Or maybe she's not allowed to.
"I don't have his number," Clarke lies. "He's somewhere with Raven right now, why don't you go and ask him?" Lexa glances at Ontari. Ontari purses her lips. Lexa glances at her other crony, Luna and Luna nods. Then the three of them walk off, leaving Clarke bewildered. By this stage Clarke's friends are nowhere to be found, even Bellamy who had been two feet away with Monty and Jasper, but now the other two boys are alone.
"Hey, where'd Bellamy go?" Clarke asks Monty.
"No idea," Monty shrugs. "You want to come out the back and share a joint?"
"I'm good thanks," Clarke declines.
"Hey, Clarke," Jasper says. "Is Octavia here?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just… want to talk to her," Jasper shrugs and Clarke does her best not to roll her eyes.
"If I see her I'll send her your way," Clarke promises and Jasper grins. Clarke and Monty share a look before Clarke pushes her way through the crowd in the living room, hoping to find one of her friends. She bumps into Raven in the kitchen.
"Where are they keeping the alcohol?" Raven asks.
"I don't know. What happened to Ronan?"
"He was manhandled away by Ontari and co," Raven says, clearly not impressed about it. "Then I don't know."
"Bellamy?"
"No idea."
"Octavia and Niylah?" Raven shrugs.
"I just saw Octavia go upstairs," some random freshman interrupts. Clarke doesn't dwell on how the unknown child knows who Octavia is, just leaves Raven to continue looking for alcohol and makes her way upstairs.
Clarke isn't stupid, she knows why people go upstairs at parties like these, and the fact that both Roan and Octavia are unaccounted for doesn't bode well. He should really know better, he's way too old for Octavia. He's going to be in so much trouble.
The first door she tries is occupied by Murphy and his girlfriend Emori, and Clarke almost screams at the sight of Murphy's gross white butt.
"Oh, hey Clarke," Murphy grins. "Want to join?"
"Pass," Clarke says, shutting the door quickly. She eventually finds Octavia in the last room down the hall, which isn't even a bedroom but what looks like a study. That's not the weird part though. The weird part is that Octavia isn't making out with Roan at all. She's making out with Niylah.
Clarke feels like she probably shouldn't be that surprised. But she kind of thought that this would be the kind of thing Octavia would tell her about. After all, Clarke may not have told the whole school about being bi, but she's told Octavia.
She quickly shuts the door before Octavia can see her standing there and hurries back downstairs, and outside. Bellamy is sitting on the old sofa on the porch and Monty and Jasper are out there, passing a joint back and forth and chatting with none other than Roan.
"Hey, I think I'm going to head off," Clarke tells them.
"Need a ride?" Bellamy asks.
"What about Raven? Won't she be mad if you leave?"
"I'll come back and get her later," Bellamy assures her.
"Or I can just take you," Roan suggests, standing up.
"Okay," Clarke agrees easily.
"You've been drinking," Bellamy points out.
"Hardly anything," Roan shrugs.
"But you're underage," Bellamy persists. "If you get pulled over by the cops…" he trails off. "It's better if I take her."
"Fine," Roan puts his hands up in surrender and falls back onto the couch. Bellamy nods and Clarke follows him out to his car. She's not sure why she feels nervous about getting into the car alone with him. Not because she thinks he's going to murder her or anything. It's more like a good kind of nervous, like butterflies.
Still, she's a little relieved when Jasper runs out after them.
"Hey, can you give me a ride too? My mom just called, she's going to be so pissed," Jasper calls. It's probably Clarke's imagination that Bellamy actually seems to be disappointed.
"Sure, Jasper," he sighs, and the three of them climb into Bellamy's car, Jasper scrambling into the passenger seat with Clarke in the back.
Bellamy drops Clarke off first, since her house is closer, but Jasper falls asleep before they get there anyway.
"Can I ask you something?" Bellamy asks as he pulls up in front of her house, glancing at Jasper as if to make sure he's really asleep.
"Sure."
"When you're answering the messages that get sent to Ask Abby… can you tell who wrote them?"
"Not really," Clarke admits. "I mean, apart from Maya who signs her own name. And sometimes I get an inkling… but there's hundreds of kids at school. Just because it sounds like someone doesn't mean it is."
"Fair enough."
"Why do you ask? Have you sent something lately?" Clarke teases. "Because you know you could just ask me in person. I won't judge you."
"I know you won't, Clarke," Bellamy shakes his head. "You know you'd be the first person I'd go to if I thought someone else's advice would help." Clarke doesn't really know what to say to that. She hadn't realised he actually had a problem. She was just kidding around.
"I do give pretty good advice though," she grins.
"You do," Bellamy agrees, smiling at her like he's endeared by her lack of modesty. "Any general life advice for me?" he asks. Clarke thinks for a moment.
"Do what makes you happy," she settles on, and the smile drops from Bellamy's face.
"Even if it might hurt someone?"
"You can't make anyone happy if you aren't happy yourself," Clarke points out and Bellamy nods thoughtfully.
"I better drop Jasper off and go back and wait for Raven," he tells her. "Goodnight, Clarke."
"Goodnight," Clarke says, getting out of his car. She's weirdly reluctant to leave him, but he stays out the front until she's safely inside and that makes her feel a little better.
Dear Abby
Do you think it's okay to flirt with other guys while you have a boyfriend? I'm not planning to cheat on him or anything, but every now and again when I'm talking to a hot guy I can't help but flirt. Plus I don't think my boyfriend even notices I'm doing it. So it can't be wrong, can it?
Serial Flirter
Dear Serial Flirter
I think you already know the answer, or else you wouldn't be asking the question. You say your boyfriend doesn't notice. Is it possible you're flirting with other guys to get his attention and make him jealous? If so, maybe just try having an honest conversation with him and tell him you're feeling neglected.
Whatever the reason, it isn't okay to flirt with other guys. How would you feel if your boyfriend flirted with other people?
Abby.
Clarke doesn't see Roan or the rest of her friends again until Monday morning, and by then it seems like Octavia's crush on "Ronan" has only intensified. She gushes to Clarke about him all morning. She goes on about how gorgeous he is, and that he's so talented and he has such a nice laugh and how much more mature he is than all the other boys at school. Clarke almost warns Octavia that he's twenty years old, before remembering that Ronan Prince is supposedly only eighteen. Octavia doesn't mention Niylah at all.
"Has he said anything about me?" Octavia asks.
"I haven't seen him since the party," Clarke tells her honestly.
"Okay, tell me if he does," Octavia instructs. And to think it was only a week ago Octavia was rejecting Niylah on the grounds that she was saving herself for Roan King. And okay, to be fair, Roan King and Ronan Prince are the same person. But Octavia doesn't know that.
Of course, Octavia isn't the only one with a crush on him. There's always some girl flirting with him in class. Even, Clarke has noticed, girls who are supposed to be in monogamous relationships. Such as Raven.
And it's not like it's any of Clarke's business. Raven is free to do as she likes. But it kind of bothers her, whenever Roan and Raven bicker at school paper meetings, and it's so obviously closer to foreplay than to actual arguing. And right in front of Bellamy, no less. Not that he seems to notice or care.
But that doesn't make it okay, as far as Clarke is concerned. Bellamy is a great guy, and he deserves better than someone who's just going to flirt with other guys. Sure, it's only flirting, for now. But Clarke would never do that to Bellamy, and not just because she really isn't into Roan that way.
"Clarke, can I talk to you for a second?" Bellamy asks once the meeting is over and everyone else is leaving.
"Sure," Clarke says brightly, and Roan stops heading towards the door to wait for her.
"Uh, alone? If that's okay," Bellamy says with a glance at Roan. "Private matter," he explains.
"It's fine, he knows about Ask Abby," Clarke says offhandedly.
"Oh," Bellamy nods, his jaw tightening. "Right. Um, you know what? Never mind." Bellamy says, and Clarke frowns in confusion, but shrugs it off.
"Okay. See you later then," she calls as she follows Roan out of the room. He's smirking as they make their way to the carpark and Clarke raises an eyebrow at him. "What?" she says, exasperated.
"Nothing," Roan shakes his head, his smirk only growing.
"Seriously," Clarke glares at him and he chuckles.
"He thinks we're sleeping together," Roan tells her, and Clarke feels her face instantly turn red.
"What?" Clarke stops dead in the middle of the parking lot. Because, for one thing, ew, gross. Roan is twenty and she's sixteen. And for another thing, she has no idea where Bellamy would get that idea.
"Well, he thinks we're dating or something," Roan amends.
"He does not. Why would he think that?" Clarke asks, a pool of dread forming in her stomach.
"He's jealous you told me about you being Ask Abby," Roan shrugs.
"Jealous? Why exactly would he be jealous? He already knows," Clarke points out. Roan studies her carefully, as if deciding whether or not to let her in on his secret.
"He's into you," he finally says, and the dread in Clarke's stomach turns to a fluttering that she can't quite explain.
"Don't be ridiculous," Clarke scoffs, fully aware that her face is still bright red. "He's with Raven."
"And it's impossible to be into someone that you aren't dating," Roan says sarcastically. Clarke knows he's right, of course, she just has to look at Raven who is so clearly into Roan while still being with Bellamy. But that doesn't mean Bellamy is into her.
Roan's not the first to suggest such a thing, however. Octavia had mentioned it at the start of the school year, after the three of them had pretty much spent the whole summer together. Bellamy was already dating Raven by this point and Clarke had brushed Octavia off. If Bellamy had been into her, he would have said something, Clarke is sure of it. After all, it took him almost no time at all to get with Raven once they were all back at school.
But Octavia had maintained that of course he hadn't said anything. He had no possible way of knowing if Clarke had liked him back, since according to Octavia, Clarke treats everyone the same. She's nice to everyone. Roan seems to hold the same view.
"Trust me, Clarke," Roan says knowingly. "That guy wants you. He just doesn't know that you want him too."
"I don't though. Want him," Clarke denies quickly.
"Sure," Roan smirks. There's only a short silence before Clarke speaks again.
"We should let him know we aren't together," she says and immediately regrets it, the shit-eating grin on Roan's face almost too much too bear.
"What do you care?" he snickers. Then she remembers she actually does need to go and see him because Octavia and Niylah have already left and she needs a ride home.
"You need a ride home?" Roan asks, obviously sensing her dilemma.
"I can just ask Bellamy," Clarke shrugs, not wanting to put him out. "He and Raven probably won't make out that much, right?"
"Raven's already gone," Roan says, and Clarke realises he's right, Raven having left school as soon as the meeting was over. Which is weird. She always gets a lift with Bellamy. Or he gets a ride with her. Either way, this is the first time Clarke can remember them leaving school separately since they started dating.
"Did she drive herself today?" Clarke wonders aloud.
"Doesn't she always?" Roan asks. "Also, what's with you and Octavia always complaining how much they make out? I haven't seen them make out once," Roan snorts, doing air quotes whenever he says the words "make out", like it's too childish for him. Clarke shrugs, not knowing what else to say. She could argue. Maybe Roan just hasn't spent enough time with them. But honestly? She thinks he might actually be right this time.
"A ride home would be great," she says instead.
Dear Abby
I think my friend is keeping secrets from me. I always tell her things, like who I'm into, what my dreams are, what's going on with my family and who at school I hate, but she never returns the favour! I don't even know if she'd tell me if she was seeing someone at this point. She's so secretive and it's driving me crazy! How do I get her to open up?
Out of the Loop
Dear Out of the Loop
There's another word for secretive, and that's "private." Has it ever occurred to you that some people just like to keep their business to themselves? Not everyone feels the need to share every little detail about themselves. Give your friend a break. If she wants you to know, you'll know.
Abby.
As it turns out, Bellamy isn't the only one who suspects there's something going on between Clarke and Roan. It's ridiculous in her mind, honestly. She supposes she shouldn't really be surprised, since they're pretty much always together when they're at school, except when one of them has to use the bathroom.
It's on one such occasion that Clarke gets ambushed while she's washing her hands. By Octavia and Raven, no less.
"You'd tell us if there was something going on between you and Ronan, right?" Octavia says innocently.
"Why does everyone think there's something going on between me and Ro…nan?" Clarke catches herself before she says his real name. She doesn't even think she says it that harshly, but Octavia still looks taken aback.
"Calm down," Octavia says.
"Who else thinks that?" Raven asks. Then Clarke remembers no one else has actually said anything to her about her relationship with Roan.
"No one, it doesn't matter," she says.
"So there is something going on," Raven accuses.
"Why do you care so much?" Clarke asks pointedly.
"We don't want our friend keeping important stuff from us," Raven shrugs, missing the point entirely, though probably on purpose.
"Plus, you know I called dibs on him," Octavia reminds her. Clarke wants to tell her you can't call dibs on a person. She wants to tell Raven to either stop flirting with Roan or break up with Bellamy. She wants to tell them to mind their own business, and to stop being so selfish for once in their lives.
"I know," she says instead, taking a deep breath to control her emotions. "We're just friends." Octavia and Raven seem satisfied, and totally oblivious to Clarke's feelings, just like always.
Dear Abby,
Things have been kind of strained between me and my boyfriend lately. We're both coming to the end of our senior year, and we aren't going to college in the same place. We still see each other all the time, but we barely ever have sex any more, usually because we get into an argument before we even get there. Should I break it off or try to make it work?
Boyfriend Dilemma.
Dear Boyfriend Dilemma,
You're the only one who can decide what's best for your relationship. It all depends on how ending it makes you feel. When you think about breaking up does it make you feel anxious, or does it make you feel relieved? How does he feel about the situation? Do you think the two of you would be able to make it work long distance? These are all things to consider when making your decision.
And don't screw him around either. Let him know how you're feeling, he deserves your honesty.
Best of luck, Abby.
Clarke tells Roan that he doesn't have to come to the car wash they're having to raise money for the costumes for the school play, but he insists on helping out anyway.
"Anything for the drama department," Roan tells her. She actually thinks he cares more about it than she does, even though she's the one actually in the play (albeit a small part).
Bellamy offers Clarke a ride, but she goes with Niylah instead, mainly because she kind of doesn't know how to act around Bellamy anymore, after her conversation with Roan. She doesn't want Bellamy to think she's with Roan, but she doesn't know how to bring that up without a) admitting they talked about him and b) making it seem like has an investment in whether or not he thinks she's taken.
Plus there's the whole thing with Raven hitting on Roan all the time and Clarke feels like she should probably say something to Bellamy about it, because even though it's none of her business she really doesn't want to see Bellamy get hurt. But she doesn't know how to bring that up either so she just avoids being alone with him.
There are already a fair few cars lined up outside the mall when Clarke and Niylah arrive at 11am, and it's a warm spring day, so there are students washing cars and standing around in shorts and crop tops or swimsuits. Clarke herself is wearing a bikini top and cut offs, because that's what Octavia is wearing and Octavia didn't want to be the only one. She needn't have worried however, since most of the girls are in bikini tops and the two guys that are there are shirtless. (Unfortunately. No one needs to see someone as white and skinny as Jasper Jordan without a shirt.)
"Looks like it's going to be a good day," Clarke says to Niylah as they get out of the car.
"I hope so," Niylah says as Ms Sydney rushes over, having noticed Clarke and Niylah arrive.
"Girls! Thank god you're here. We're very busy, we've already raised two hundred dollars, so get to work immediately!" Ms Sydney commands. Clarke wonders if they've raised so much because people need their cars washed or because of the teenage girls in bikinis.
Clarke and Niylah grab some buckets off Ms Sydney and head to where Octavia and Raven are washing a minivan. Raven isn't actually in the school play, but she agreed to help out as soon as she heard Roan was going to be there.
"Is Ronan coming?" Octavia asks immediately. "He said he was coming."
"Yeah," Clarke says, exchanging a look with Niylah, who just shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "He'll be here a bit later."
The carwash is actually pretty fun, chatting with her friends, soaking up the sun. They've been there about an hour when Clarke notices Bellamy pull up and join the line of cars waiting to be washed. She feels her stomach lurch as he gets out and makes his way towards them.
"Clarke, what are you doing?" Raven snaps. "I'm doing all the work." She looks up from scrubbing the car to see Bellamy approaching and falls silent.
"Hey," Bellamy says when he reaches them.
"I didn't know you were coming," Raven says.
"Thought I should support the school play, since my sister's the lead," he says. "Who do I give my money to?" Clarke points to where Ms Sydney is holding a cash tin and Bellamy heads over to give her his ten dollars, before returning to help the girls wash.
"You don't have to help, you know," Clarke tells him as he picks up a sponge and starts scrubbing next to her.
"It's my pleasure," Bellamy grins. "What I'm wondering is why you're here. You don't care even about the play."
"Turns out Ms Sydney refuses to take no for answer. And I can't drop out because then I'd be letting everyone down," Clarke grimaces.
"Come on, Clarke, you have like one line," Raven snorts.
"She's not dropping out!" Octavia yells from a car away.
"I'm sure you'll steal the show," Bellamy teases, and Clarke hits him with her sponge in the hopes he won't noticed her blushing.
"Wow," Bellamy deadpans, looking down at his now wet shirt. "Don't start something you can't finish, Griffin," he grins wickedly.
"Oh, I can finish it," Clarke says haughtily, sticking her chin out. Bellamy smirks at her before picking up the entire bucket. He pauses, threatening.
"You wouldn't dare," Clarke says.
"Oh, wouldn't I?" Bellamy says, his eyes challenging her. Except she totally knows he would dare, so it only takes a split second for her to throw her sponge in his face and run. He's after her in a flash, laughing as he chases her, weaving through the cars. He catches her pretty easily (after all, she weirdly, kind of wants to be caught), one strong arm grabbing her around her waist, just under her breasts, the other still holding the bucket. Clarke shrieks as he pulls her against his chest and she hopes it sounds more like a shriek of protest than of delight but she's not convinced. He's about to pour the water over her when Raven starts yelling.
"Seriously, Bellamy?" she snaps, and Clarke hadn't even realised she was standing there. "Grow up," Raven huffs, and Bellamy pulls his arm away from where it's wrapped around Clarke, stepping away from her, leaving Clarke feeling disappointed and guilty.
Clarke expects Bellamy to defend himself, tell Raven they're only messing around and to lighten up. But he doesn't. In fact he's looking equally as guilty as Clarke feels. Which is dumb, because they haven't done anything wrong.
"Can everyone get back to washing cars?" Ms Sydney yells and Bellamy follows Raven back to his car where they wash in silence. Clarke thinks it's probably better if she goes back to work with Octavia and Niylah, who seem to have missed the whole thing because they're too busy talking and laughing, though Clarke can't figure out what there is to laugh about. She gets back to work, only looking up again when she hears Octavia yelling across the carpark.
"Hey, Ronan!" Octavia calls, and sure enough Roan is strolling towards them, looking hot as ever, that easy confidence rolling off him.
"Hey," Roan calls back. He's waylaid by Ms Sydney for a moment before joining them on washing. He's wearing a tank top and shorts, and it's safe to say all eyes are on him as he works on the car. Well, all eyes except Clarke that is. She keeps glancing over to where Bellamy and Raven are talking in strained whispers, and neither of them look particularly happy. Clarke can't help but feel it's somehow her fault.
She watches as Raven snaps something at him and he snaps back and then Raven throws her sponge to the ground and marches off into the restaurant nearby.
Clarke is debating whether she should follow Raven or go to Bellamy, but then he's pulling off his damp shirt angrily, throwing it to the ground with Raven's sponge, and Clarke can't really think about anything else.
It's probably wrong to objectify someone while they're obviously so upset. But she really can't help it. It's not her fault if Bellamy Blake looks like he's been sculpted out of golden rock. And that the freckles on his face are mirrored across his chest. How is she supposed to function properly while he's standing there looking like that?
She barely registers when Roan says, "Shit, it's hot. Bellamy has the right idea."
It means nothing to her really. She's not interested in Roan at all, no matter how hot he is. But the other girls are. And what's worse is that they're not only interested in Roan King, but they also know everything about him. Like the fact that he has his ex-girlfriend's name tattooed across his chest.
"What the fuck?" Clarke hears Octavia say, and she finally manages to tear her gaze away from Bellamy and look at Roan and Octavia. "Echo?" Octavia reads, and Clarke and Roan share a look of utter horror.
"Octavia…" Roan starts, but Clarke just clamps a hand over Octavia's mouth and drags her into the same restaurant Raven has disappeared into just before. Once they're safely in the ladies room, Clarke lets Octavia go.
"Clarke!" Octavia shrieks. "That's Roan King!"
"Shh!" Clarke hushes her, but not before Raven bursts out of a stall.
"I knew it!" Raven declares.
"Guys," Clarke says exasperatedly. "Okay, yes. It's Roan King. But it's a secret okay? No one can know. He's researching for a part, and he's only here for another week so-," Clarke tries to explain before Octavia cuts her off.
"Wait," she says. "You knew?" she accuses.
"Well, yeah," Clarke says. "I was his student guide. But Jaha made me promise I wouldn't tell."
"I can't believe you didn't tell us," Octavia huffs.
"Who cares," Raven rolls her eyes. "I'm just happy I can ask Roan King to the Spring Fling."
"But aren't you going with Bellamy?" Clarke asks, surprised.
"I just broke up with him," Raven shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. "He didn't really want to go anyway."
"You guys broke up?" Clarke repeats, taken aback. "Why?" Raven shrugs again.
"We've been drifting apart for a while now. I'm going to California in the fall and he's staying here. It's better this way," she says. "I have more in common with Roan anyway."
"You literally just broke up with my brother and you're already moving on to another man," Octavia sneers. "Besides, as if Roan would go to the Spring Fling with you. He's going with me."
"Please," Raven scoffs. "Besides, it was my idea. He's going with me."
"Not if I ask him first!" Octavia declares, running for the door.
"Hey!" Raven shouts, before chasing after her.
"Guys!" Clarke calls after them, following them hurriedly. "Remember not to…" she trails off as she comes to a stop outside the restaurant beside Raven and Octavia. "…tell anyone." But by now it's far too late. Because in Clarke's haste to go after Octavia it may have slipped her mind that other people may have noticed the tattoo, and realised what it means.
The carwash has been forgotten and instead the crowd seems to have tripled in size and has become a mob, screaming at Roan as he stands on top of the car he'd been washing, frantically talking into his phone.
"Great, now how am I going to ask him to the Spring Fling?" Octavia huffs, and Clarke can't help but roll her eyes. She spots Bellamy (fully clothed again) leaning against his car and hurries over.
"Do you think we should call the police?" she asks him.
"I already called them," he assures her.
"Oh. Thanks," Clarke nods. Then she remembers about his recent break up with Raven. She wants to try and comfort him, or at least say she's sorry, but the cops show up before she can come up with the right words, and Bellamy feels obliged to go and talk to them since he's the one who called them.
Along with the cops, a shiny black limo rolls up, which must be who Roan called. Clarke watches as the cops break through the crowd and rescue Roan, delivering him safely to the limo.
Octavia runs over to Clarke, looking all worked up over what Clarke considers to be nothing.
"I can't believe this," Octavia says, outraged. "He's just going to get into that limo and drive away like our friendship meant nothing."
"He only knew us two weeks, O," Clarke points out, but she can't help but feel disappointed too.
"But you guys are like, tight, right? I mean do you have his number?" Octavia presses. "Could you message him for me?"
"Well… yeah. I have his number," Clarke admits. "But I doubt he'll want to hear from me. This was just research for a movie for him. It's not like we're best friends or anything, I barely know him…" Clarke says, but even as the words are leaving her mouth, one of the police officers interrupts her.
"Are you Clarke Griffin?" he asks.
"Um. Yes?" Clarke squeaks. Surely she can't be in trouble for this.
"Roan King would like you to join him in his limo," the police officer says and Clarke's jaw almost hits the ground.
"Right," Octavia snorts. "You barely know him."
"O," Clarke says, trying to get her friend to understand, but feeling frustrated at the same time.
"Just go to him, Clarke," Octavia shakes her head. "You obviously want to."
"Time is of the essence, Miss Griffin," the cop says and Clarke looks to the pouting Octavia.
"Fine," she sighs and follows the police officer to the limo, past the screaming fans and Roan pulls her inside while the cop shuts the door behind her.
"Okay, go," Roan tells the driver, and the driver does as he's bid and they're speeding off, leaving the crowd behind them. They're silent for a moment and Clarke feels awkward with him for the first time since the day they met. She'd kind of forgotten he's actually a famous movie star.
"You probably shouldn't have taken off your shirt," she points out lamely, just to fill the silence.
"Yeah," Roan snorts. "I really need to get that thing removed," he says, clearly referring to the tattoo of his ex girlfriend's name.
"It must have been pretty serious for you to get a tattoo," Clarke says gently, just pushing enough for him to be able to talk about it if he wants, but he's also able to brush it off completely if he doesn't.
"It was," he says flatly, but that's all he says, so Clarke drops it and lets the silence fill the limo again.
They arrive at Roan's fancy condo, and it seems like they've managed to lose any stray media vehicle that might have been following them. The limo driver drops them off and leaves again, and Roan leads Clarke inside.
"Are you doing okay?" he asks her, which is exactly what she'd been about to ask him.
"I'm fine," she says.
"You're allowed to be not fine."
"I'm fine," Clarke insists. If anyone should be not fine, it's him. He's the one whose secret identity had been revealed, and then been mobbed by crazy fans. Roan doesn't look like he believes her, but he drops it anyway, instead handing her a can of coke from the fridge. Clarke sits on his couch while he flops onto a lounge chair. He studies her intently and Clarke can feel herself flush under his gaze. She takes a long swig of coke, and when he still doesn't say anything she decides to speak.
"I'm sorry about them," she says, referring to her schoolmates. "They're horrible, I know. You shouldn't have to deal with that."
"They are horrible," Roan agrees. "But not because of what they did to me."
"No?"
"I'm used to that," Roan shrugs.
"So… what makes them horrible then?" Clarke asks.
"The fact that they don't seem to care about anyone but themselves," Roan states.
"They're teenagers, what do you expect?"
"You're a teenager," Roan points out.
"What's your point?" Clarke huffs, beginning to wonder why he's brought her to his house. If it's just to tell her how horrible her fellow students are, she already knows that.
"It's not your job to try and smooth everything over and make people feel better," Roan tells her. "You're allowed to have feelings, Clarke."
"I know."
"Do you though? You never get mad. You never get irritated. You never tell people how you really feel," Roan says.
"What does it matter?" Clarke shakes her head. "I'm not hurting anyone but me anyway."
"See, that's just not true," Roan accuses and Clarke frowns in confusion. "Imagine if instead of getting mad at me that day with Maya, you got mad at Murphy instead. Told him to leave her alone, actually stood up for her. Imagine if you told Octavia the way she treats Niylah is really shitty and that she needs to stop leading her on. Imagine if you told Bellamy you're in love with him, instead of letting him agonise over his relationship with Raven, wondering if he should end it on the off chance you actually like him back."
"That's not…" Clarke starts, but Roan cuts her off.
"Don't, Clarke," he says. "You know it's true. You could actually make a difference. And maybe you could actually let yourself be happy too." Clarke just gapes at him for a moment. She didn't realise he'd been paying so much attention.
"I wouldn't even know where to start," Clarke finally admits.
"How about with the Spring Fling?" Roan suggests.
"The Spring Fling?" Clarke asks in confusion.
"Be my date?" Roan suggests. "As friends, of course. I mean, you're sixteen. Also in love with another man," Roan grins.
"I'm not-," Clarke starts to protest but Roan just gives her a knowing look and she shuts up. "You're staying?" she says instead.
"I'm here for three weeks remember? And the Spring Fling feels like the kind of high school thing I should experience."
"Okay," Clarke agrees, after a beat. "We can go to the Spring Fling together." And she knows Octavia and Raven will be mad, but they're probably already mad anyway. And besides, Clarke is mad at them. They're the ones acting like spoiled children.
"Also, I suggest quitting the school play."
Dear Abby,
I recently came out of a long term relationship, and I already like someone else. I guess I'm just wondering what the appropriate amount of time is before I can ask her out. My ex seems to have moved on so it shouldn't matter too much, right? I don't want to wait too long in case I miss my chance.
Ready to Love Again.
Dear Ready,
You need to make sure you really are ready to move on before asking her out. You don't want to make her a rebound, that's not fair on her. As for your ex, don't be surprised if she's mad even if she has moved on. Emotions can be weird sometimes. But in the end, it's important to follow your heart.
Abby.
Octavia seems to be over the whole thing where Clarke went off with Roan by the time Clarke returns home, since Clarke has only just walked through the door when Octavia comes barging in behind her.
"Okay, I'm not mad," Octavia declares. "I understand why you had to keep it a secret. So what did you and Roan talk about? Did you mention me?"
"Uh… I didn't really get a chance," Clarke says, which is kind of true.
"Oh. So do you think he'll go to the Spring Fling with me? Because Niylah asked me to go with her and I told her that if Roan has to go back to Hollywood or whatever then the three of us can go together as friends," Octavia prattles.
"Seriously?" Clarke huffs.
"What?"
"You know that's not what Niylah wants," Clarke says, her voice firm. She figures there's no better time to start taking Roan's advice.
"So what?"
"So stop stringing her along. Either tell her you're not interested or go on a real date with her. She's not a toy," Clarke snaps.
"If you like her so much, why don't you date her?" Octavia retorts.
"I already have a date," Clarke tells her.
"Oh really?" Octavia scoffs in disbelief. "Who is it then?"
"Roan King."
"Oh as if!" Octavia barks out a laugh. Clarke just stares at her with her lips pursed and it only takes Octavia a second to realise Clarke is telling the truth. "Seriously? How could you?" Clarke doesn't even flinch, because Octavia is reacting pretty much the way she expected she would. "You know how much I like him!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Clarke interrupts, before Octavia can whine any more. "He's been here two weeks, you barely know him. You're in love with some idea of him you've created in your mind. You're in love with the characters he plays in the movies. You're not in love with him." Octavia just gapes at Clarke, and Clarke folds her arms, her heart pounding but she's not backing down.
"What would you know anyway? You've never been in love. You've never had a boyfriend, you've never even been on a date. Roan is going to get bored with you in two seconds," Octavia scoffs before storming out of Clarke's house and back to her own. Clarke flinches as the door slams, and takes a deep breath, telling herself she did the right thing.
Dear Abby,
My friend is way too sensitive. It seems like every time I make a little joke she gets offended. Like, can't a person joke around anymore? How can I get her to lighten up?
Fun Girl
Dear Fun Girl,
You know, maybe there's a good reason your friend is getting offended. Like maybe your jokes are offensive. If you can't make a joke without offending someone, maybe you just aren't that funny.
Abby.
It doesn't take long for the whole world to find out that Roan King has been holed up in a condo in a small town in Virginia. And it isn't long after that that they find out he's taking some nobody from said town to the Spring Fling. Of course the media makes out like it's some scandalous love affair, and not just two friends going to a school dance together.
Clarke ignores the requests for interviews and the reporters that hound her outside her house and sometimes seem to pop out of nowhere to ask her overly personal questions, mostly centred around her supposed romantic relationship with Roan. It seems no matter how many times she says they're just friends, no one will believe her.
She has to delete her twitter account to stop all the nasty tweets from jealous Roan King fans, and it kind of sucks that she doesn't have Octavia to talk to about it. But she still doesn't regret what she said to Octavia.
Roan doesn't come back to school, which is understandable, but Clarke continues to follow his advice. She quits the school play on Monday, which Ms Sydney yells at her about, but Clarke couldn't care less.
On Tuesday, she does something significantly more influential.
She's sitting with Bellamy, Raven, Jasper and Monty at lunch, since Octavia isn't talking to her (and apparently she still has Niylah under her thumb), when Maya walks into the cafeteria as per usual.
Clarke glances at Murphy, who's standing up, ready to start making gorilla noises, or play whatever cruel prank he has planned for today. But Clarke shoots up from seat, and walks over to Maya before Murphy can say anything.
"Hey," Clarke says. Maya looks around, confused.
"Hey?" she squeaks as if she still isn't sure Clarke is actually talking to her.
"Do you want to sit with us?" Clarke gestures to where Bellamy and the others are sitting. It seems like the whole cafeteria is silent, their eyes boring into Clarke's back.
"Okay," Maya agrees hesitantly, her eyes flicking over to where Murphy is still watching them.
"If he says anything, just ignore him," Clarke whispers, and Maya nods. She follows Clarke back to the table, and Clarke almost in the clear, but just as Maya goes to sit down, Murphy starts with the gorilla noises. Maya glances at Clarke and Clarke gestures for her to sit.
"Have you got a problem, Murphy?" Clarke says, calmly but firmly.
"Yeah," Murphy sneers. "Last I checked-," he starts, but Clarke never gets to find out how things were last time he checked, because he's interrupted by Emori who grabs his arm and pulls him into his seat.
"Just leave them," she says, and Murphy looks a little stunned. But he only takes a second to get over it, before he's stuffing food into his mouth again. And then it's over. Easy as that. And Clarke can't help but feel guilty that she hadn't done anything sooner.
"You gonna eat that?" Jasper gestures to the piece of chocolate cake on Maya's tray. "We could split it?" Maya suggests timidly. Clarke isn't sure she's ever had anyone to split food with before.
"Awesome," Jasper grins. And it turns out Roan was right.
Roan was right about a lot of things, as it turns out, which irritates Clarke to no end. She kind of hates that he has it all figured out. That he has her all figured out.
Especially the part where she's in love with Bellamy. Roan figured it out before even she did, but now that she knows she can't stop thinking about it, about Bellamy, and she finds herself gazing at his freckles or watching his hands, remembering how it felt to have his arm around her, wishing he'd touch her or kiss her or tell her he's madly in love with her.
Although Clarke is pretty sure that's not true. Roan may have been right about everything else, but he can't possibly be right about everything. Bellamy doesn't think of her as anything more than a friend, and she's totally okay with that. Really.
She has to start getting rides home with him after school, since Niylah is still driving Octavia around, and Octavia refuses to be in the same room as Clarke, let alone a tiny car.
And Bellamy's perfectly happy to do it, in fact he's the one that offers, seeing as he knows Octavia isn't speaking to her at the moment. She doesn't really think anything of it, except grateful, until she's alone with him in his car.
Because the two of them are barely ever alone together. There's always been Octavia, or Raven, or Jasper that one time. But now she's sitting in the front seat of his car, his hand on the gear shift, inches from her thigh, and all she can think about is how easy it would be to just… move his hand slightly.
"I'm sorry about what happened with Octavia," Bellamy interrupts her thoughts, and she hopes her face isn't as red as it feels.
"It's not your fault," Clarke shrugs.
"She's my sister," Bellamy says wryly. "I feel some responsibility for her."
Clarke nods and falls silent, not sure what else to say, which is dumb, because this is Bellamy, her best friend's brother, one of her best friends, one of the only people who knows about Ask Abby, and she can't think of a single thing to say. She curses Roan inwardly for making her aware of this stupid crush.
"Clarke, I have to ask you something," Bellamy says as he pulls into his driveway.
"Yes?" Clarke responds, maybe a little too eagerly. For a second she kids herself that he's going to ask her on a date or something. He hesitates.
"How do you set two people up? Because I think Maya and Jasper would make a great couple," he grins, and Clarke can't help but feel disappointed. But of course he isn't going to ask her out. He sees her as a friend. Which is fine.
"You need a romantic setting, somewhere that's not school. Campfires are always good," Clarke tells him. "And make sure they get some time alone."
"Should be easy enough," Bellay muses. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow," Clarke agrees.
Dear Abby,
It seems like all my friends are having sex except me. I'm the only one left in my group of friends who hasn't had sex and I feel like such a loser. I feel like I have to lose my virginity by the time I've finished high school or I'll be a freak. Should I just have sex with the next guy who'll have me?
Lonely Virgin
Dear Lonely Virgin,
Don't let what you think everyone else is doing dictate what you think is best for you. If you want to have sex, that's your decision. If not, wait. There's no deadline. If you never want to have sex, that's fine too. And I'll let you in on a little secret: your friends aren't having as much sex as they say they are.
Abby.
Clarke and Raven go dress shopping together for the Spring Fling, although Raven has had her dress for weeks. It's significantly harder than normal shopping, but that's mostly just because people keep trying to take photos of them and ask them about Roan King. Well, they're asking Clarke. They probably couldn't care less about Raven.
"For the last time, Roan and I are just friends," Clarke snaps, before turning to Raven. "Let's just go home, okay? I'll buy my dress online."
"Clarke," Raven says slowly, once they're safely back in Raven's car. "You and Roan really are just friends, right?"
"Yeah, we're just friends," Clarke assures her, though she can't really figure out why she still cares. Roan has gone back to Hollywood. He'll be back for one night for the Spring Fling and then he'll be out of their lives forever. Raven can't possibly think she still has a shot with him. Raven nods thoughtfully.
"Have you talked to Bellamy lately?" she asks.
"Yeah," Clarke says. "Why?"
"He seems to have moved on pretty easily," Raven muses. She doesn't sound upset about it, but Clarke isn't really sure where this is coming from, or where it's going. Does Raven want to get back with Bellamy? Clarke's stomach clenches at the thought.
"You broke up with him," she reminds Raven.
"I know," Raven says quickly. "I'm not saying I want him back. It's just… I would have expected him to be more upset. Do you think he's with someone else already?"
"I don't think so," Clarke says. She's pretty sure she'd know about it if he was. And she really hopes he's not.
"But it's weird, right? Like if there wasn't someone else don't you think he'd be more unhappy?"
"Are you unhappy?" Clarke points out.
"No, but I'm…" Raven starts, before pausing. "I'm the one who broke up with him."
"I'm sorry to say but I think he's just happy. I don't think it has to do with anyone else," Clarke shrugs.
"Maybe you're right," Raven sighs, starting the car. "And you're sure there's nothing between you and Roan?"
"Yes," Clarke huffs. She's getting really tired of repeating herself.
But still, Raven isn't the only one who doesn't seem to believe Clarke when she says she and Roan are just friends. Even though she's said it probably a million times to those stupid reporters that keep following her, despite the fact that they get zero new information.
Even Bellamy seems to think there's something going on, which becomes evident when he asks her to stay back after the paper meeting on Friday afternoon. He waits for everyone else to be gone before he speaks.
"Clarke," he starts, swallowing. "About you and Roan…" he pauses.
"We're just friends," Clarke hurries to assure him.
"I know," he says. "I mean. I know you are but… you have feelings for him, right? Because I feel like there's something I should tell you," he says uncomfortably. But Clarke never gets to find out what he wanted to tell her, because at that moment, Octavia bursts through the door.
"Octavia?" Clarke and Bellamy say at the same time.
"Bellamy, get out. I need to talk to Clarke," Octavia demands. Bellamy rolls his eyes but grabs his stuff and leaves, glancing back at Clarke as he goes. Octavia waits until the door is shut behind him before she speaks.
"I need your help," Octavia says, and Clarke raises her eyebrows in disbelief.
"You haven't talked to me in six days," Clarke reminds her.
"I know," Octavia says. "The you helping me thing is part of my apology," she says, a little sheepishly, much to Clarke's satisfaction.
"This is an apology?" Clarke questions. "Doesn't really sound like one."
"Okay, you're right. I'm not good at this shit," Octavia sighs, and she looks so anxious that Clarke almost feels sorry for her. Almost, but not quite. "Let me start over."
"Okay."
"I'm so sorry I said all that mean stuff to you," Octavia says, her words sounding a lot more like an apology this time. "You were right. I don't really love Roan."
"I forgive you," Clarke says, because she really can't stay mad when Octavia looks so desperate and helpless. "Now, what do you need my help with?"
"Niylah's mad at me," Octavia admits. "She said I talk about Roan too much and that I use her and maybe I should find someone else to drive me home."
"So you want a ride home?" Clarke guesses, even though it doesn't make sense and Octavia should probably be asking Bellamy. She resists the urge to say I told you so.
"Well, yes, but that's not what I need you for. It's just… Niylah and I… I mean, I think I might have been wrong about that too. I want her to forgive me so I can ask her to the Spring Fling and you know maybe she can… be my girlfriend and stuff," Octavia shrugs, and Clarke has never seen her friend look so uncertain.
"Okay," Clarke nods and Octavia beams.
"What should I do?"
"Honestly? All you need to do is say you're sorry tell her how you feel," Clarke tells her.
"That's it?"
"That's it. Think you can do that?"
"Yeah," Octavia smiles. "I think I can. I'm going to try and catch her before she leaves. Thanks, Clarke!" Octavia runs out the door without a second to lose, and Clarke smiles to herself as she gathers her things.
"Ready to go?" Bellamy asks, poking his head back in the door.
"Yeah," Clarke nods and follows him to his car. He doesn't mention what he was going to tell her before Octavia interrupted them, and Clarke can't bring herself to bring it up herself, so she just lets him ramble about the book he's been reading all the way home.
"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Clarke says as she gets out of his car.
"Tomorrow?"
"At the Spring Fling," Clarke reminds him.
"I'm not going," Bellamy says, and the disappointment hits Clarke like a rock.
"Oh."
"I mean, I was only going because Raven wanted to. Monty's having something at his place for all the people who aren't going," Bellamy explains.
"Right. Okay," Clarke nods, suddenly wishing she wasn't going to the Spring Fling either. "I guess I'll see you on Monday then."
"Yeah," Bellamy nods. "Have a great time at the dance."
"Thanks," she replies, unconvincingly. She doesn't even want to go to the Spring Fling anymore. Monty's thing sounds fun, way more fun than dressing up in a dumb dress that her mom picked out and swaying to bad music with a guy she's not even into. But it's not even that, really. It's that she's not going to see Bellamy until Monday. He's not going to the Spring Fling, and sure, he lives next door. But she'd have to come up with a reason to see him, and she can't think of one except that she just wants to. And the thought of having to go the whole weekend without seeing him just really sucks. So she takes one last glance back at him before she walks inside, and he looks back and gives her a smile that might just be enough to get her through the weekend.
Dear Abby,
I think I'm in love with my best friend. I really want something to happen between us but I don't know how to tell him, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. How do I tell if he likes me as more than a friend? Should I just come out and tell him how I feel? Or should I wait for him to make a move?
Friend in Need
Dear Friend in Need,
If you find out, let me know.
Abby.
Octavia, Clarke and Niylah all get ready for the dance together at Clarke's house, and Clarke can't help but feel jealous as Octavia does up Niylah's dress, or the two of them share a look that Clarke can't quite decipher. It's the first time in her life she's ever felt like she really wishes she had someone. And maybe it's just because she's finally figured out who she wants.
Abby takes a million pictures once they're already, and Clarke thinks even she looks good, despite Abby having picked the dress. It's not as daring as Octavia's, or as sleek as Niylah's. It's pale blue and there's kind of a lot of lace but she looks nice.
Roan shows up in a limo, and he charms Abby and Jake easily before sweeping their daughter and her friends away to his limo. It's lucky for his body guards or Clarke swears she would be ripped to pieces by the reporters on her front lawn.
"Maybe I don't want to be famous," Octavia grimaces once they're safely in the limo.
"You get used to it," Roan grins. "You all look great, by the way."
"Thanks," Octavia beams before going off on a spiel about all the items she's wearing and where she got them.
"I think she'll make a great celebrity," Roan whispers to Clarke while Niylah listens in to Octavia intently.
The dance itself is pretty boring. Yeah, it's nice to see everyone all dressed up, but in the end it's still just all the same people from school that Clarke doesn't really like that much. The people she actually likes are somewhere else.
It looks like Octavia and Niylah are having a good time though, which is nice.
"You want to dance?" Roan asks.
"Sure," Clarke agrees. She figures she may as well, considering there isn't really anything else to do at an event like this. It's a slow song so Roan rests his hands on her waist and she puts her arms around his neck and they kind of sway softly to the music, though she has no doubt Roan actually knows how to dance. She can't help but wish it was someone else though.
She feels so ungrateful, standing there at her Spring Fling with her arms around a gorgeous famous movie star, thinking about someone else. She knows some girls would kill to be in her shoes. Well, maybe not literally, since they're actually starting to pinch a bit. And now she's thinking about how much her shoes hurt instead of just enjoying herself, so yeah, she's like the most ungrateful teenager ever.
"You listened to my advice," Roan muses, interrupting Clarke's thoughts.
"How do you even know that?"
"I have my sources," Roan smirks. Clarke has no idea what that means. "You're doing good things. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks," Clarke snorts, but she still feels a rush of warmth at his words. It's nice to make someone proud. The two of them fall silent again and Clarke's thoughts drift back to Bellamy.
She's surprised when she sees Raven walk in. She would have thought she'd be at Monty's with their other friends… unless… she and Bellamy got back together? She looks gorgeous of course, but Clarke barely spares a glance for her, instead watching the door, expecting Bellamy to walk in behind her. She hears Roan chuckle softly and she narrows her eyes at him.
"Relax, Clarke," he grins. "Raven's here alone."
"How do you know?"
"Because I invited her here," Roan admits.
"You… you and Raven?" Clarke says incredulously. Roan actually looks a little abashed.
"I kind of called her after I got back to LA on Sunday. We got to talking and I really think there's something there," he admits. "I know it hasn't been that long since Echo, but when you know, you know, right?"
"Right," Clarke agrees, thinking about Bellamy. Roan seems to sense her thoughts. She hates that that guy is so intuitive.
"If you want to ditch the dance there's a limo waiting outside that will take you anywhere you want to go," he winks. Raven saunters over and barely gets out a greeting before Roan's mouth is on hers, and Clarke doesn't think she's ever seen such disgusting kissing before in her life. But she's perked up all of a sudden, and even the brief thought of what the media will be saying about her tomorrow can't dampen her mood. She chuckles to herself before she goes over to where Octavia and Niylah are sitting at a table talking, their hands linked.
"Um, what's up with those two?" Octavia inclines her head towards where Roan and Raven are making out on the dance floor.
"Apparently they're a thing now," Clarke shrugs.
"Oh, Clarke, I'm sorry," Niylah says sympathetically and Clarke has to fight the urge to roll her eyes.
"Yeah, I can't believe Raven would just steal your man like that," Octavia sneers.
"He's not my man," Clarke huffs. "We're just friends."
"Okay," Octavia nods, not really looking like she believes her. But Clarke can't think of a way to convince her without telling her she's in love with her brother. So she just lets her believe what she wants to.
"You guys want to go to Monty's?" she says instead.
"God yes!" Octavia exclaims. "Why are school dances so hyped up?"
"How are we going to get there? I don't have my car," Niylah points out.
"Roan said we could take the limo. He's preoccupied with Raven right now, so I don't think he'll miss it," Clarke grins.
Clarke's skin is thrumming with anticipation on the drive there. She's not really sure why. It's not like she thinks anything is going to happen. She just really wants to see Bellamy.
Monty lives a farm a couple of miles out of town, with acres of land to run wild on. And set off fireworks later. There's a bonfire raging and heaps of food and drink and it's actually a pretty big party. It seems like everyone who wasn't at the Spring Fling is there.
Niylah and Octavia head straight for the food, while Clarke scans the crowd. She notices Maya and Jasper roasting marshmallows, and she briefly wonders how Maya convinced her dad to let her come.
But then she sees Bellamy sitting on a log by the fire and all thoughts of anyone else evaporate. Her stomach lurches when he makes eye contact and beams at her, and she's pretty sure her heart has never thumped so loudly.
She smiles back and she makes herself walk over to him at a normal pace, instead of running at full speed like she kind of wants to.
"Hey," she says as she plonks herself down on the log next to him, and she has to congratulate herself on how casual she sounds.
"Hey," Bellamy replies. "Is the dance over?"
"No, it's still going," Clarke tells him. And then she remembers that Raven is there with Roan. And it's not that she thinks Bellamy is still hung up on Raven. But it's still not going to be easy to tell him.
"Weren't you having fun?"
"It was okay," she shrugs.
"What happened to Roan?" Bellamy asks and Clarke avoids his gaze.
"Well…" she starts.
"He told you about him and Raven, didn't he?" Bellamy guesses and Clarke looks up to meet his gaze.
"You know about that?"
"Yeah… Raven told me. I, uh, I tried to tell you. I wanted to tell you," he says, looking a little guilty, and Clarke can't really figure out why. "But I thought you might be upset."
"Upset? Why would that make me upset?" Clarke asks, utterly bewildered. Bellamy looks a little surprised. He opens his mouth to respond, but Octavia interrupts him before he gets the chance.
"Oh my god you guys," Octavia says gleefully. "I just saw Maya and Jasper making out! How did her dad let her come by the way? He's usually so strict," Octavia rambles on.
"I don't know," Bellamy says quietly, and Clarke glances at him to see him looking at her, not Octavia, and her heart skips a beat. "Clarke, do you want to go for a walk?"
"But the fireworks are about to start!" Octavia exclaims, looking at Bellamy like he's crazy. Clarke ignores her.
"Sure, I'll go for a walk," she swallows. Octavia huffs and walks off while Clarke stands up and follows Bellamy away from the fire. They don't go very far, just enough so the party is a dim background noise, and no one can overhear their conversation. There's a small copse of trees nearby where Bellamy stops and turns to Clarke, and she can feel her heart hammering in her chest.
"Your advice about Jasper and Maya worked," he says with a grin.
"Did it?" Clarke asks, because her brain isn't really functioning at its full capacity, what with him being so close to her and looking so good, the rest of the world a distant blur. She's surprised she can even remember who Jasper and Maya are.
"Yeah," Bellamy says. "You're pretty good at the advice thing."
"Thanks," Clarke says, her head all foggy. Bellamy steps a little closer and Clarke feels her head spin, as she looks down, fearing eye contact might be too much for her heart to bear at this point.
"Clarke," Bellamy says, his voice low and husky, and it sends a thrill through her, hearing him say her name like that. She lifts her head, waiting for him to go on. He looks uncertain, like he's trying to find the right words but they won't come to him. But then he's surging forward, and Clarke barely manages to catch her breath before he's kissing her, soft at first, but firmer, messier, when she responds. All the wind is knocked out of her, but it doesn't really matter, because who needs to breathe when you're being kissed like that?
Bellamy's hands find their way to her waist and he pulls her closer, and she winds her arms around his neck as their bodies press together and Clarke doesn't ever want him to stop.
But then he does, abruptly, stepping away and Clarke feels a wave of disappointment as she tries to steady her breathing and her racing heart.
"I'm sorry," he says, looking guilty.
"What are you sorry for?" she manages to ask, though her throat is dry and her lips are swollen.
"Look," he sighs, and Clarke can't figure out why he seems so upset, when just a second ago they'd been kissing like the world was about to end and she probably wouldn't have noticed if it had. "This isn't going to happen, we both know that," he says, sounding defeated. Clarke feels like he's breaking up with her somehow, which is dumb, because he's never even said he likes her, despite the kissing. Which he had started by the way.
"Why not?" she asks, and she's glad her voice sounds steady, because she's mad at him for kissing her like that, and then standing back and saying it wasn't going to happen.
"I'm not stupid," Bellamy replies, swallowing. "I just… over the summer, when we we're hanging out with Octavia, I really thought… I don't know, that something might happen between us," he shrugs. "But I couldn't really figure out if you liked me, and then I asked Raven and she said you didn't really date," he explains and Clarke makes a mental note to murder Raven. Once she's figured out why exactly it is Bellamy thinks they can't be together. "And you know, then Raven and I got together and I really liked Raven, but I don't know, I always just kept thinking about you," he admits, and he sounds so anxious and the things he's saying are exactly what she wants to hear, except for the part where is supposedly leading up to the reason nothing can happen between them. Surely it's not because of Raven?
"And I realised Raven and I weren't right for each other," he continues, "But I guess I realised too late," he shrugs.
"Too late?"
"Yeah, I mean Roan came along and…" Bellamy starts.
"Roan? What has Roan got to do with this?" Clarke asks, baffled.
"Well," Bellamy says uncertainly. "Aren't you in love with him?"
Clarke almost laughs out loud at that. She's flooded with relief that the only reason Bellamy thinks they can't be together is because he thinks she's in love with someone else. She's only too happy to set him straight.
"You really are stupid," she tells him, grinning. "I'm most definitely not in love with Roan King. And never was."
"Really?" Bellamy breathes, and Clarke can see the hope in his eyes, but he's still hesitant. "You never…?" he trails off.
"Of course not," Clarke promises. "I was never in love with Roan… the way I am with you." Bellamy's eyes widen and Clarke almost regrets her choice of words, but they're out now, and they're true, so she can't take it back.
"You're in love with me?" he asks hoarsely.
"I…" she starts. She wants to explain, but then she thinks there probably isn't really anything to explain. "Yeah."
And Bellamy must finally believe her then, because he grins, before he's tugging her back in to kiss her again, and Clarke is pretty sure she's never been happier, except when a second later, Bellamy pulls away, only slightly, just so he can tell her he loves her too.
Dear Abby,
Thanks so much for all your advice! Everything worked out how I hoped it would.
Happy at Last.
Dear Happy at Last,
Me too!
Abby.
