Too Late
Xion?
Are you a hundred percent sure you're telling me the truth? Are you really being honest with me? I don't want to accept that you're lying to me again about how you feel.
Because... well, you're up here again at the rooftop, throwing the usual tantrums I don't understand, sobbing uncontrollably, shrouding yourself in an aura of loneliness crying out desperately for something like you did so yesterday. And the day after that; and the day even after that. And probably every other day since Namine unexpectedly bumped into our lives.
You're slowly breaking like glass inside, Xion. I can tell as your best friend that you're as sensitive as any person can be. But whenever I approach you and ask what's wrong, you just wipe your tears away from your face. I can tell that you're forcing a smile as you tell me that everything's alright, nothing's wrong and I don't have to worry about a single thing. I can tell that something really is wrong when you don't answer when I ask if you're sure that you're okay. You just walk away as your tears fail to contain themselves and continue to stream down your face again.
Stop hiding from me Xion. I want to talk to you again. I want to hold your hand and pull you into a tight embrace as you let everything you've been holding in out. And surely, I'll be comforting you, or just listen if you don't want me to speak while you cry, from all your troubles like what you do when I was down in the dumps. And it always makes me feel better.
I can't stop worrying about you. How do you expect me to when my best friend since childhood is upset about something? You can't expect me to stand by and watch you in pain. You're permanently stuck in my mind like a meaningful scar or a tattoo. The mere image of a tortured you bring tears to my eyes.
I miss the old times Xion. And I miss the old you Xion. I wish one day you'd greet me happily with your wonderful smile like every other morning and fool around whenever we got bored. But when Namine came on that faithful day, all you've ever done lately is give me a simple wave, avoid me and then cry a lifetime's worth of tears that can probably fill up the ocean or even cause a flood.
I wish I could wipe your tears and your sorrow away with my hand and replace it with the happiness that I feel when you're with me. I wish I would man up and tell you that even though I thought Namine would be the one for me, she just doesn't excite me the way you do. My feelings toward her aren't as strong as how I feel about you. But how can you expect me to when you lock me away from yourself? When you lock your world from me?
To tell you the truth, at the very moment I laid my eyes on her, I honestly thought Namine would be the missing puzzle piece that would fit perfectly inside my heart. But I'm human, and like every other person, I wondered if I was I wrong this time. She didn't fit at all in my heart. Did I take the wrong puzzle piece? Did I rush things too much? Am I such an idiot to realize all of this now when it might be too late?
I always thought that my other half was out there somewhere. Like what people say, it's a small world. I believe this saying, so maybe that missing half would be even closer than I thought she would be. But I'm such a moron to realize that I already met and know the person that can make me whole, happy and wonderful. That perfect half is you Xion. And being the thick headed person I am, I realized it too late.
Admittedly, Namine's nice and pretty and all. When I look at her, she makes me smile. That's just about it. It's really disappointing. But when I look at you... well, there are no words to describe it without having to exaggerate. Incredible? Wonderful? I don't know. I've never been good with describing someone as magical as you. You're really too good to be true Xion.
Yes, it took me until now to realize Namine wasn't for me. Why did I choose her, when you, Xion, were always there for me through thick and thin?
Maybe... I was afraid. No, not maybe. I must be damned if I said maybe. Xion, you don't know this, or how ridiculous this might sound, but I AM afraid, which is why I can't say maybe. I'm a cowardly fool. I'm scared of rejection. Scared that you wouldn't want to be friends anymore when you know how strongly I feel about you. That prejudiced and ridiculous thinking blinded me to thinking that I loved Namine. Into thinking that she's the one for me. Into thinking that I didn't want to be more than friends with you. That was a grave mistake I can never atone for.
I'm sorry Xion. I'll keep saying it over and over in my mind, even if you'll never hear my continuous but useless ranting. I'm sorry for being so afraid of the unknown. For being scared of losing you when I knew I had at least the slightest possibility that I would end up being closer to you than ever before. For being scared that you'd laugh about how I feel. And I'm even sorrier for dating Namine and for not realizing that it's you all along who can truly complete me. For being who I am.
I'll admit that I'm dense if you really did mean everything you said in the past. I remember those times when you jokingly flirted with me and I vibrantly remember that you even planted a small kiss on my cheek, which I thought was just a small token between friends. I never thought of even the slightest possibility that you actually meant what you did all those times.
But I'll never know if you did mean it will I?
Because I know it's too late. I've already made my straightforward reckless decision.
And now, I've lost you.
A/N's Note: Whoa, it's hard to narrate a guy. But I'm sort of proud of this one. It proves that XION'S BETTER. 8D (Yes, you may slap me)