Hey everyone! I have a few stories happening in my head now, and I just wanted to write this one. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but that's okay:)
Also, I want to preface saying I fully hope (think) Japril will work out their problems in the show. This is an AU look into the future if they didn't work out their problems. Also, I changed a few details, but it's mostly canon until the most recent.
"Mommy, can we get Honey Nut Cheerios? Please! I know you said there is a lot of sugar, but I really think I need it" said the 4 year old, red headed boy.
April smiled sweetly at her boy and got down to eye level with him. "Oh. you need it, bud? How about we get the little box of Honey Nut Cheerios, but a big box of just Cheerios? So we can mix them."
"But Mommy, I always eat the healthy cereal. All of the other kids get to eat sugar in their cereal" the little boy interjected.
April sighed. She knew she could be a bit overprotective with her little boy. It all stemmed back to losing her other little boy nearly 6 and a half years ago. Plus, it wasn't easy being a single, working mom. To top it all off, they had just relocated to Seattle. Lucas had friends back in Chicago, and it was hard for the little boy to adjust to the move. "Hey Luke, how about we get some ice cream after we leave here?" April suggested sweetly. A little bribery never hurt anybody she told herself.
"Yayyyyy!' Lucas exclaimed happily.
"First, we have to finish grocery shopping. Okay, buddy?"
"Okay, mommy" he responded.
Lucas was very mature for a 4 year old. April wanted to give him the happiest childhood she could, but she knew her own sadness affected him. April thought back to her once perky, seemingly carefree self. The loss of her first boy and the subsequent dissolvement of her marriage to the one man she ever loved changed her. She didn't smile as brightly as she once did. Didn't laugh as loudly.
However, her periods of depression did give her the gift of appreciating every little moment with her son. She still saw a therapist to make sure she'd keep her sadness at bay. Lucas literally saved her. Everything she did was for her little boy. So, when Dr. Bailey called her and asked if she wanted to become Head of Trauma at Grey Sloan, she knew she couldn't say no the higher pay.
So, she packed up her and Lucas, and they moved out less than a month after the offer. April was worried that the move would be awkward. During her times of depression, she had burned some bridges with her colleagues. Honestly, she wasn't even sure who was still working at Grey Sloan.
Arizona was the only one she really kept in touch with, and she was kind enough to give her small updates including the whereabouts of her ex-husband. Jackson was back in Boston. Arizona never gave her details about his personal life and she had never asked. It was too painful thinking about Jackson and the pain she had inflicted upon him. It was too painful wondering if he had moved on. She truly hoped he found happiness, but the thought of him with another woman was too much for her to think about. After she had come back from war, they had tried to make things work. They had even gone to therapy, but they both knew it wasn't working. April could see that Jackson loved her and she knew she loved him. It seemed like a no-brainer they should stay together, but April was too far into her dark hole to be able to actually show him she loved him.
When she moved to Chicago, her parents insisted that she should go to therapy. She was diagnosed with depression at her first session. Less than a month after moving to Chicago, the divorce papers came.
April still loved Jackson. After a few weeks of therapy and prescription meds, she considered moving back to Seattle and telling him about all of the progress she had made in therapy. She thought about surprising him, and telling him how much she needed him. She wanted to ask him about how he's been and insist she could be a good, present wife again.
All of those thoughts were crushed by very bittersweet news. She was two months pregnant. Considering the devastation of her pregnancy with Samuel, she was terrified. Plus, this baby was not her husband's baby. She wished with everything in her that she was carrying Jackson's baby, but that wouldn't make it true.
April had not cheated on Jackson. Well, not technically. She had decided alcohol could solve her problems after Jackson told her that he couldn't be in the marriage anymore. He insisted he loved her, but he just couldn't remain married. She had barely blamed him. April was aware of her own inability to feel for others in her despondent state.
So, she had gotten drunk at Joe's, and had the most out of character moment of her life when she slept with the first man who hit on her.
She had cried afterward. She had lived 28 years a virgin. Then, she had married her best friend, and she was sure he would be the only man she would ever be with. Then, she shot that all to hell when she drunkenly hooked up with a deadbeat lawyer. That was her rock bottom. So, she told Jackson that day she was moving to Chicago to be closer to her family and to start fresh. She could see the pain in his eyes. Although, she could also see a bit of relief if she was being honest with herself. He had wished her well, and that was the last interaction they had ever had.
She could never fully regret that one night stand because it gave her the most important person in her life. Lucas.
After receiving the news she was pregnant, April signed the divorce papers, boxed up her wedding ring, and sent them the very next day. She refused to hurt Jackson even more.
"Mommmy!" the little boy said loudly to bring April back out of her thoughts. Seattle was going to take her back to places. Challenging places.
"Yes, buddy?" April said with a smile.
"Are we going to see Arizona?" he asked happily. Arizona had visited them in Chicago on a few occasions, and he had absolutely loved her. As a pediatric surgeon, she was amazing with kids. Plus, he had instantly connected with Sophia.
April had forgotten to inform the young boy that she had moved to Portland. So much transition everywhere. "No, she moved away. Sorry, sweetie. But, we can always drive to visit her. She didn't move too far away!"
That seemed to appease the child. "Road triiip!"
"Yup! It'll be so fun!" April said as she scanned the recipe on her phone for a new pasta dish she wanted to try out.
"Mommy, can we get yogurt?" Lucas asked.
"Of course, sweetie" April looked down from her phone, and her heart stopped. He had just been there. "Lucas!" She called out. "Lucas!"
Jackson aimlessly walked around the produce section. He normally didn't actually go to the grocery store. Instead, he would order his groceries on PeaPod, and then wait until they were delivered. He only left his apartment because he needed some space from his girlfriend. He used the term "girlfriend" loosely, but he supposed it fit. They had been exclusively together for 5 months, and she had moved herself in a couple months ago.
They had met at Joe's upon his arrival back in Seattle. Jackson had been weary about returning to Seattle, but his mother insisted his services were needed back at Grey Sloan. He didn't have anything holding him in Boston. No wife. No kids. His friends were disposable. So, he decided to appease his mother and move back to Seattle. Plus, it wouldn't be the worst thing being around his old colleagues. He had left on good terms, and he did genuinely miss Grey and Karev.
He knew his ex-wife wouldn't be there. The last he heard she was in Chicago. He bitterly thought she was probably happily with a guy who was enough for her. Unlike he had been. He couldn't even give her a healthy child.
Jackson shook away his thoughts. She was in the past. He would never go down that road with her or anyone else. His relationship with Nina was very safe. She was still infatuated with his looks and his family name. In the past, Jackson wouldn't have even been friends with someone so superficial. However, she was easy going and not bad on the eyes. Being with her was better than being alone.
Although, she had driven him crazy earlier with talks about going to an upcoming Avery socialite event. He knew he had to go there, but he honestly didn't care what dress she chose to wear. So, he offered to go grocery shopping. He thought Nina might get the hint, but she hadn't. She had sent him 5 different dresses since he had left the apartment. He muted his phone and put it into his back pocket. For now, he'd focus simply on what kind of apples he wanted to buy. Red Delicious or Granny Smith?
His attention drifted from the apple selection to a red headed little boy who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Jackson looked around and didn't see any likely parents around. "Hey.." he said a bit awkwardly to the kid. Jackson had to suppress the painful "what if" thoughts...His boy would have been likely only a couple years older than this boy. If his boy had lived…He shrugged away those thoughts and put his attention on the boy. "Buddy, are you with one of your parents?" Lucas looked up and made eye contact with Jackson. Jackson couldn't help shake the feeling that something seemed familiar about the boy.
Lucas nodded. "Yeah, I'm with my momma" he said matter of factly. "She said I could get yogurt. What's your name?"
Jackson looked around for a distressed parent. "I'm Jackson. What's your name?" he coaxed. He was sure his mother was losing her mind in worry.
"Lucasssss!" Jackson whipped his head around when he heard a familiar voice yelling. His heartbeat felt like it was going off the charts when his brain was trying to grasp his ex-wife in front of him...Nothing was processing. This little boy was April's son? How? What the hell were they doing in Seattle?
Tears were streaming down April's face. She hugged Lucas so tightly "Thank God. Thank God." She had sprinted around the store creating various scenarios involving a kidnapper and her never seeing her son again. April was so relieved to see her son that she didn't notice the nearby presence of a stunned Jackson. April took Lucas' face in her hands. "Don't you ever run away like that again! You wait for me! A stranger could have taken you with them. Don't you ever do that to me again!" she said in between the tears. "I love you, baby."
At this point, Lucas was sniffling himself. "I'm sorry, momma. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted yogurt. I think I was used to our old store. I sorry" he attempted to defend himself.
April's heart rate calmed down a bit as she couldn't stop hugging him. "You never leave my side again? You understand! There are strangers everywhere here!"
Jackson just stood there dumbly. Part of him realized he could probably just escape without April noticing, but his limbs felt like lead. The sight of his ex-wife with a young son was enough to make him punch a wall and sob uncontrollably simultaneously.
"It's okay, momma. I found Jackson" Lucas stated. "He would've helped me."
On hearing her ex-husband's name, she whipped her head up finally noticing her former best friend. She just stared up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She was still recovering from Lucas running off...she felt like she could pass out. Surely, this was all a dream.
Jackson's mind was running wild. How did April have a son? Well, he knew how...the details made him want to throw up. He quickly shook those thoughts away.
Lucas looked in between both of them. "Momma, do you know Jackson? Why you actin so weird?"
April finally was able to form words. She stood up from the ground while keeping Lucas's hand in her hand. She ignored her son's question, while offering her boy a smile. "Jackson. There are no words. For Lucas, I mean. He was right beside me, and then he was gone. He wanted yogurt, but then he was gone. I ran to the yogurt, but he wasn't there" she rambled on. "Then, I just ran everywhere. Thank you though. This all could have ended much differently" April said as a tear ran down her cheek. Maybe focusing on the present scenario would allow them to avoid the elephant in the room that was their past relationship.
"It's okay" Jackson responded simply wanting to kick himself. Honestly, he had missed those rambles so much. He had forgotten how much until she was rambling right in front of him. "I'm just glad he's alright" Jackson said with a forced smile.
If seeing a young boy wasn't enough to stir up old feelings, seeing April's boy was enough to suffocate him.
What could have been….part of Jackson wished the boy was his. He almost laughed at the thought. How screwed up was wishing his ex-wife had kept his child a secret from just so that he would have a son...He knew it wasn't possible. None of that was possible. April and him hadn't exactly been physical much after she returned from war.
Still, the thought of her moving on so quickly left him feeling angry. However, getting angry in front of her innocent son wouldn't solve anything.
"Yes. Well, what are you doing in Seattle?" Jackson awkwardly inquired...hoping it was just a quick visit. He knew Arizona had moved away, so he wasn't sure would have brought his April back to town.
April looked down at her shoes as she was unable to make eye contact with Jackson. "Since Dr. Hunt left, Dr. Bailey called me and asked if I wanted to be Head of Trauma at Grey Sloan" she answered slowly as she looked up at him. "I still can't believe Dr. Bailey is Chief."
How did he not know that? He was on the board of the freakin hospital. Jackson felt like he was choking on his own saliva. "So, you're...you're back here?...Like for good?"
Jackson had never had a panic attack before, but he felt one coming on.
"Yup! Momma and I moved from Chicago to here. I miss my friends though, but Momma said I'd make new ones here. I do love living by the ocean. There's cool sharks! We just have Lake Michigan in Chicago" the little boy rambled. Clearly, he picked up rambling from his mother.
Jackson plastered on a smile for the boy. The kid seemed genuinely sweet, but he was still processing the situation at hand.
"Do you still work here?" April questioned back. She didn't want Jackson to know Arizona had updated her on his relocation to Boston. Although, she would have to have a strong word with her dear friend about failing to update her on Jackson's relocation back to Seattle.
"I uh. I just moved back around 6 months or so. My mom wanted me to work on board duties here since the hospital had been struggling" Jackson was starting to feel more at ease. Despite how negative everything got in between the two, it almost felt normal talking to her now. He couldn't help himself from scanning her left hand….no wedding ring.
So many unanswered questions. "So, mommy, you guys know each other?" the little boy asked again.
April smiled at her boy while thinking of what Jackson was to her….he had been her best friend, husband, Samuel's father, to her ex-husband. "Buddy, he's an old friend."
Jackson gave a slight genuine smile. Then, silence followed. Both of them struggled with finding any words.
"You know, buddy. We should probably get going. We have so much unpacking to do. We should just go home" April took her attention off Jackson and placed it on Luke.
"Momma, what about ice cream? You promised?" Luke asked sweetly.
"After your running off stunt? I don't think so!" April responded sternly.
Jackson couldn't help staring at the interaction. It hurt seeing the two together. When April was pregnant with their child, he had envisioned moments like this. After they lost Samuel, they had simply been a dream scenario. Now, April was having this moment, but with someone else.
"Fine," the little boy huffed.
"Let's just see if our cart is still there, and then let's go home" April told her son. She knew Jackson was standing there...This would go in the books as the most awkward moment of her life. There was so much to say to Jackson, but no words could come out. Lucas let go of his mother's hand and ran toward Jackson. The little boy offered up his hand to the older man.
Jackson couldn't help, but laugh. A four year old had never tried to shake hands with him before. "Nice to meet you, Jackson" the boy smiled sweetly.
"Nice to meet you too" Jackson responded kindly.
Now, April felt her emotions about to overwhelm her. With April being his only parent, he always seemed to connect with women more than men. Seeing Lucas with Jackson was overwhelming to say the least. She knew they need to leave before the whole store saw her cry.
"Buddy, come on!" April coaxed. "Jackson, thank you again for watching out for him" she said genuinely.
"No problem" he responded. "Uh..See you later."
Lucas went back toward his mother before waving bye to Jackson.
"Bye" April stated awkwardly as she quickly walked away with Luke. She decided to leave the cart behind, and just exit the store as tears rolled down her face.
Jackson remained by the apples with his heart pounding out of his chest. What just happened? He finally took out his phone. Ignoring the 10 missed texts from Nina, he dials Dr. Bailey.
"Hi Jackson!" Dr. Bailey greeted.
"What the hell, Dr. Bailey?" Jackson spit out.
Please let me know any thoughts!