This is a retarded fan fiction about Edward and Alphonse Elric and their trip to Texas.

For those of you who don't know Ling, he's a manga exclusive character. Spoilers!

Yay, I updated it.

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Disclaimer: No, I don't own FMA. If I did, I would sell it for a lot of money and this would be a book, not a piece of data in a machine.

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One day while trying to figure out a way to get their bodies back, Edward Elric and his younger brother Alphonse were sitting in the park. Yes, they were indeed researching in a park. "Parks are very peaceful and relaxing," Al had convinced Ed. "My butt they are..." was Ed's reply.

"Hey, Ed?" asked the shiny metal Al, innocently.

"What, dear wonderful brother?!" yelled Ed.

"Why are you yelling at him?" Greed asked, coming up from behind them.

"Greed!" the brothers yelled, standing up immediately.

"Hey, dudes. It's Lin, and you know that." said Lin, who they thought was really Greed all this time.

"But your a Homunculus..."

Lin sighed. They were right. "Actually, Greed tried to overtake me but I didn't let him and so I still have control of my body and I'm just pretending to be Greed so that I can get information for you guys and eventually go back to my old body too." At this remark, the brothers were stunned. "So? Answer my question."

Ed and Al looked at each other. Ed finally managed to stutter out, "I, uh, d-dunno."

"Well, that's retarded."

"You're retarded!"

"No, no. You guys have it all wrong, you're all retarded," said Al. "Everyone knows that."

Great. Al was right. Ed knew it. "What am I going to do now?" he screamed at the heavens. He held his hands high towards the sky above him, crystal clear-blue as the water in the nearby pond. Only, the pond didn't have clouds. Everyone in the park stared at him, of course. As he did this, Ed had gotten very hungry. He was now much hungrier than when he had gotten to the park.

"Hey, does anyone else want lunch?" he said, drooling at the mouth.

Lin stopped staring and replied. "Well. I just happened to bring a picnic basket with all the ingredients to an enchilada dinner!"

Suddenly, a voice came out of nowhere!

"Did someone say, enchiladas!?" the voice said.

"Nooo!" replied Ed with a huffy attitude.

All of the sudden, a band of fat guys appeared.

Al screamed. "OMG It's BFS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ed and Ling looked at each other. "Who? And how in the heck did you know?"

"It's on their shirts," said Al. "Obviously."

"Oh…."

"You guys are the Elric brothers, right?" asked the lead singer, Jarett. "The rest of us are Gary, Chris, and Eric. We also have a magic amp that can act as a Philosopher's Stone! And, best of all, it wasn't made by using human souls! You just have to play the guitar here!" He pointed to his guitar, then to the amplifier. "Now, there's only one thing to do! Especially before you guys leave. Well, no, you really don't seem to need any alchemy amplifiers..." He stopped. "Nevermind."

Ed was confused. How did these guys know about Philosopher's Stones? I mean, they just knew and would simply share this information? They didn't know Ed's tragic past, did they? Or was it a test...? But then why did they not seem to notice that Al was hollow and Ed had automail?

The lead singer started counting off. We all surely know where they were going with this. They started to sing!

"Come back to Texas!!! It's just not the same since you went away, before you lose your accent! And forget all about the Lone Star State!"

The Gate opened up right behind the band. "Crap." said the bass player. The Gate sucked them in for equivalent exchange, obviously, but for what transmutation? They didn't look like alchemists. Then Ed realized, "Oh, crap! We forgot the tortillas! It's a rebound!!! We have to find those guys and bring them back!" he shouted. Al was so confused at his brother's sudden compassion, so he didn't know what else to do. Lin just followed them to make sure they didn't kill themselves. They all quickly jumped into the Gate, not knowing where this would take them.

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This idea was given to me by my awesome cousin. We were on a bus ride back from Azle, Texas. It was boring because my CD player didn't work. So, I asked her if she had any ideas for a fanfiction. Go figure! She did. After some reviews, I'll fix anything you guys think need fixed, and I'll take it as constructive criticism. Thanks!