Chapter 1, Lost Stars
God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark?
Rose's POV
Here we go. My second year at Hogwarts. Oh joy.
It's not as if I hate the school itself or anything like that, I love learning about magic and studying at Hogwarts and being able to roam around the castle. I love it when it snows and the school looks like something you would see in one of Grandpa's muggle snow globes. I love the quaintness of Hogsmeade, even though I'm not quite old enough to go there on the weekends, my cousins are James Potter and Fred Weasley for Merlin's sake. I love everything about Hogwarts that my parents and uncles and aunts and older cousins had told me about for as long as I can remember, their eyes lighting up at the mere thought of the place and me wishing that one day, my eyes would light up like that too. Hogwarts is like a fantasy turned into a reality for me. It can just get really hard when everyone's always got their attention on you just because of your parents. It's tiring to have all these blokes who you aren't the teeniest bit interested in chase after you only because of your looks and not who you ACTUALLY are. Most of these guys who fawn over me haven't even had a single conversation with me, and I don't quite know if I should be offended by that or not. It's also quite crappy having all this attention from random people instead of the one person you actually want to pay attention to you. It's even more crappy when that person has a girlfriend.
Andrew Finnegan. Sandy brown hair. Blue eyes. Fit as hell. He's the first and only guy I've ever fancied, if you don't count the quidditch players. Problem is, he's practically been married to one of my best friends Keegan Bell since the age of five so I'm pretty much a lost cause. And I've got to admit, they're probably the cutest couple I know other than my own mum and dad.
Although I've pretty much accepted that Andrew doesn't like me and probably never will, and it would be rotten for me to go and try to steal him away from Keegan (who is still completely unaware that I fancy him), that doesn't mean it hurts any less. It's one of those crushes that keep you up at night and are your first thought in the morning. The kind that you have to vent about in pages and pages of your journal because your forced to keep it all bottled in. When you see them, your heart stops and you go into panic mode. You overanalyze every single encounter you've ever had with them and it drives you mad. Even though you're technically doomed, there's that little flicker of hope whenever they pay a little more attention or give you a slightly brighter smile. Yup, it's one of those crushes.
I don't blame Keegan at all for any of this of course, I still love her to bits. She loves Andrew and he loves her. If I even try to make a move, I'll just be a tiny bump in their completely flawless road leading to what daydreamers call "happily ever after". Of course, there's no such thing. Someone always ends up getting hurt. It's kind of inevitable.
Anyway, back to school. I haven't really got any close friends other than Keegan and my best friend since we set foot in Hogwarts, Scorpius Malfoy. And before you even think about it, no I do not like Scorpius nor will I ever like Scorpius, and vice versa. He's pretty much my mouthpiece, my other half, my brother. Dating him would be like incest. Disgusting. Plus I know loads about him that make the idea of dating him even more gross. Keegan often gets jealous of Scorp and feels left out, but she's way more outgoing than I am and has a million other friends to make up for it, so there's no doubt in my mind that she'll be just fine.
Scorp's the only one who knows about Andrew, and he's kept his mouth shut due to the fact that I threatened him with his life, and also because he's a great friend and rocks in all aspects. He's an absolute beast at quidditch, bloody brilliant wizard, wicked ladies man, yup Scorp's got it all. Then there's me. Top of the class, famous parents, nose always in a book, cheering Scorp on from the sidelines. We make a great team if I do say so myself.
We're currently in the same compartment we've rode in ever since we first met on the train back in first year, me reading one of the books Mum gave me and Scorp resting his head in my lap reading his favorite quidditch magazine. I'm a huge fan of quidditch and I play fairly well, but I would never consider trying out mostly because I would probably have a panic attack every time I made the smallest mistake. Scorp knows I get awful anxiety, so he wouldn't even try to push me into trying out, although there's no doubt he'll be going himself.
All of a sudden our peaceful silence is broken by the compartment door being opened. Daisy Thomas, Angelina Lee, Marlene Mooney, and Aaliyah Alvarado all spill in at once, laughing their heads off.
"Hiya Rose, Scorpius!" Marlene says cheerfully, the most outgoing out off the group, "Do you guys mind if we join you? We're really sorry, but everywhere else is full." Daisy, Angelina, and Aaliyah remain silent, giving us sheepish smiles.
"No problem, there's plenty of room here," Scorp answers kindly, flashing them one of his dazzling smiles, the kind that all the girls go mad for. I see Daisy's cheeks turn a slight pink tinge, and I smirk a bit. Scorp really has an effect on people. Marlene, Daisy, and Aaliyah sit across from us while Angelina, the only person I'm really close with out of the group, sits next to Scorp and I.
"Hey Angelina, have a good summer?" I ask her, putting my book down. Apparently it's considered rude to read while having a conversation. I only found this out recently because I suck at this whole "socializing" thing.
"It was okay, quite boring honestly. I'm actually happy to be at school, at least here we get to do stuff," Angelina answers rolling her eyes. I laugh.
"Same, honestly. My cousins were quite interesting to watch though, always doing stupid stuff then asking me to help them when it goes wrong." Angelina, Scorp, and I all laugh. Scorp seems to notice Daisy, Marlene, and Aaliyah being left out, so being himself, he strikes up a conversation.
"So what about you, Aaliyah? Planning on trying out for the quidditch team? Think you can handle it?" he adds with a wink. Aaliyah grins.
"Sure, I'll try. Don't know if I'll be able to make it though," she says in her hoarse, slightly deep voice. I don't know why, but I've never liked Aaliyah Alvarado. She's always seemed like a bit of a snob to me and whenever she talks I can't figure out why I want her to shut up so badly. I don't know if it's her voice or the fact that she stutters a lot, I just don't like her.
"Oh come on, Al," Marlene exclaims, rolling her eyes, "You've been training for this your whole life and you think you might not get in?" Aaliyah just shrugs in response. There it is, the indifference that makes her seem cold and distant. Scorp grins.
"And what about you, Daisy? Have a good summer?" he asks politely, his cheeks turning a bit pink. Wait, what? Scorp? Blushing? Since when? Scorpius Malfoy doesn't "blush", he makes others blush. That's kind of his thing. I have to force myself not to roll my eyes at the thought of him fancying Daisy Thomas.
"Um, yeah. My summer was fine I guess, what about yours?" she asks shyly. And Scorpius being Scorpius, launches into a whole conversation on his summer and everything from what he ate for breakfast to how he practiced quidditch until it was pitch black outside, and I smile because this is the Scorpius I love. The one who never makes me feel awkward because he never allows a moment to be silent.
I return to my book after a while, Scorp still chatting animatedly while the others listen intently. Soon my eyes begin to get tired so I lean one of my elbows on the windowsill and stare out at the greenery and mountains. This is probably what I love to most about rides to Hogwarts. Staring out the window for hours and never knowing how much time has passed.
Scorp's voice is interrupted by the compartment door opening once again, this time to reveal Keegan and Andrew, hand in hand.
My heart jumps into my throat and I can feel my face heating up. Oh no oh no oh no. I try my best to play it cool. I hop out of my seat and jump into Keegan's arms.
"YAY KEE! I MISSED YOU LOADS, YANKEE DOODLE!" I exclaim cheerfully, as I jump up and down, hugging her as tightly as possible.
"Aww, missed you too Rosie. You didn't have too much fun without me, did you?" she winked, hugging me back.
"Nah, my cousins were entertaining but their tricks got old after a while. Scorpius came over but he's boring too and all he did was hang out with Albus to do 'manly men' things," I laugh, rolling my eyes. Kee chuckles.
"Hey, I exist you know," Scorp pipes up, walking over to us. We both roll your eyes.
"Please don't remind us," I say, pushing him away. He puts his hands to his chest and feigns hurt.
"Aw Rosie, I though you loved me. I guess I was wrong. You're real love will always be mhmm," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. I roll my eyes again and punch him hard on the shoulder, only half jokingly.
"Oh bugger off, blondie."
"Wait, theres an 'mhm'? Who is this 'mhm'? Rosie! Spill!" Kee shrieks franctically, bring her overdramatic self as usual. I sigh at this.
"Relax, Kee. Scorp's just a prat," I answer assuringly. At least I hope it was assuring.
"Hey!"
"Anyway," I say loudly, changing the subject, "We have guests, my sweet Kee lime pie, in case you haven't noticed. The polite thing to do would be to greet them." Kee looks over my shoulder and jumps at the sight of the four other people in the compartment who have remained silent for the past few minutes.
"Oh, hey Marley!" Kee greets happily, going over to hug her, "Daisy, Angelina, Aaliyah," she adds, nodding and smiling politely. They all greet her.
"Hey Andrew," I greet politely, smiling slightly. Act cool, act cool.
"Hey, Rose" he says back, smiling. Oh Merlin, that smile. Someone please help me. I turn around and go back to my seat, trying to get as far away from him as possible. Scorp sits down right next to me, rubbing his hand on my back discreetly in an effort to calm me down.
The compartment slowly falls into it's energetic chatter, and I drift off again, managing to ignore Andrew. I stare out the window to keep my mind off of things and I count all the cows that I see. Six, eight, nine, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, nineteen, twenty-two. I lean my head on Scorp's shoulder after a while as I begin to get tired. Slowly, I fall asleep.
Scorp's hand is shaking my shoulder.
"Rosie, we're here."
The compartment is noisy as everyone gets their trunks and changes into their robes. The chatter is back, and it wakes me up. Andrew's helping Kee with the fastenings on her robe and Marlene and Daisy are laughing at Angelina's attempts to fasten her robe with one hand. Aaliyah is sitting looking out the window, her robe on and her trunk leaning against her knees.
I get up slowly and fix my messy hair as Scorpius helps me with my robe. I thank Andrew, a bit shakily I may add, after he grabs my trunk and hands it to me. I throw my long, auburn locks into a high ponytail and dust off my robe. Here we go.
Since we're second years, we get to ride the carriages to school instead of the boats like last year. The carriages can only fit six people so Keegan and Andrew stay behind and wait for another one to come for them. This time, Scorp, Aaliyah, and I sit across from Marlene, Angelina, and Daisy. We're all cramped in the carriage, knees touching and elbows bumping. Scorp, being the wanker he is, decides to stretch out and force me to squeeze in between him and Aaliyah. It's a bit awkward since I barely even speak to her, but I try to ignore it and focus on the shaking of my leg and try to synchronize it to the beating of my heart.
After what seems like forever, we arrive at the castle. Dark and enchanting, Hogwarts is my favorite at night. Though I'm dreading the unwanted attention and slight feeling of loneliness despite that attention, I know that I am home. I look around the carriage and see similar expressions to mine. We're all home.
We're silent as we climb out of the carriage and drop our trunks off at the Entrance Hall, absorbing the beauty of the castle. No matter how many times I return, the castle will never spare my breath, and I can tell I'm not the only one.
We all head to our respective tables, Scorp, Aaliyah, Angelina, Daisy, Marlene, Keegan, and I to Gryffindor and Andrew to Ravenclaw. For the first time ever, it's not just Scorp, Keegan, and I. The other four decide to sit with us as well. I try my best not to think about it too much, because I tend to get nervous around people I'm not particularly close to.
After the Sorting ends, McGonagall makes her speech (and from what I hear, they're nowhere near as inspiring as the legendary Dumbledore's used to be), and the Feast begins. The others start a conversation and I drift off a bit, not quite paying attention.
"What about you, Rose?" Marlene asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry what was that?" I answer, a bit dazed, smiling sheepishly. Marlene laughs.
"Are you trying out for quidditch?" she asks, her spoon twirling around in her soup bowl. I fiddle around for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer.
"Probably not. Not really my thing."
"Trust me, it's her thing," Scorpius interrupts, his mouth full of mashed potatoes. I snort at him, rolling my eyes at his childishness. "Really, I've seen her play." Marlene raises her eyebrows.
"Well, yeah, I play sometimes I guess. But being on the team? Practices? Training? Actual matches? Not my thing," I say truthfully. Marlene nods, understanding. It's then when I realize that all of them were paying complete attention to what I was saying, and I flush red. Scorp sees this and jumps in to save me.
"So, Daisy, is quidditch your thing?" he asks flitatiously, wiggling his eyebrows. Daisy laughs.
"Nah, not really. I love watching though, I can be your cheerleader," she winks, playing along. I roll my eyes and catch Keegan's eye. We both snort.
"Oh Merlin, I hope we don't have Potions first thing tomorrow, I'm not sure if I have enough energy to handle Slughorn this soon," Angelina whines, putting her head in her hands.
"I'm not sure if I have enough energy to handle anyone tomorrow, or any day for that matter," I add, laughing. I see Aaliyah staring at me, and she's laughing too.
"I swear to Merlin, Rosie, if you try waking me up with any of your ridiculous stunts again, I will hex you," Keegan says dead seriously. I snort.
"Oh come one, Yankee Doodle Doo, you love it when I wake you up!" I say with a wink, laughing. Angelina laughs at this too, knowing my methods of waking Kee up well enough to know that she certainly doesn't love it.
"You know I love you, Rosie flower. It's the mornings I hate. I don't see how you can stand them," Keegan groans.
"It's not my fault the sun loves me, and the birds sing for me, my sweet Kee lime pie," I say in a singsong voice, closing my eyes and drifting off into my fantasy world for a while. Keegan chuckles.
"You're such a bundle of sunshine, Rosie, this is why I need you in my life," Kee says, putting her arm around me. I catch Aaliyah's eye, and she's smiling. I smile back at her.
"Bundle of sunshine, huh?" Aaliyah chuckles.
"Yup, it's cute. Like me!" I exclaim cheerfully. She chuckles again and shakes her head as everyone laughs. Hm, maybe she's not as much of a snob as she seems. Daisy and Marlene seem lovely as well, and I begin to wonder why I never got to know any of them other than Angelina, who's just as introverted as me which somehow made it easier to be her friend, even though we all shared a dormitory for a year.
After the Feast, we're all stuffed and groggy and we head up to the Gryffindor Tower like zombies. Barely able to hold myself up, I lean against the closest person to me, which happens to be Aaliyah. I hear her chuckle again. It's quite a pleasant sound.
Sometime after walking for ages, we reach the tower, climb through the portrait hole, stumble up the stairs, and I fall into the closest bed I can find, not even sure if it's mine, and not quite caring either.
It's a good feeling to be back home.
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