Yeah, the title is so creative, I know. This is just a short one-shot I wrote in about thirty minutes. I love the idea of a caring and concerned Derek, so I turned it into real life! (If only fanfiction could be real life.) You guys might be a tiny bit confused, so I'm just going to tell you guys that, even though this was written recently, this fic is set in Season One! With that underway, you guys can proceed! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Derek or Stiles. I don't own Teen Wolf or its amazing amazingness. (What? I really don't even know.)
Panic attacks are never fun. The feeling you get whilst experiencing one is almost like being drowned but never feeling any sort of relief. Never dying. It goes on and on and on until your brain can finally get its shit together enough to calm you down. You're left feeling endlessly exhausted, unless you pass out - in which case, you feel endlessly exhausted after waking up.
And, honestly, that's just the short version of a panic attack.
A normal person would say that they wouldn't be able to survive one after reading that summary, even though it's just the watered down version. One panic attack - just one - would be too hard for any normal-not-fucked-up human being.
Stiles is not normal. Panic attacks are normal for him.
"A panic attack a day keeps the girlfriends away", he would always joke, even though his father never found it funny.
So, yeah, panic attacks are never fun. But they're even worse when they happen at the worst possible moments - like when you're with Derek Hale.
Derek Hale - who already thinks that Stiles is a weak, little boy who can never protect himself, and needs the help of others to do it for him - of all people, was the one that had to experience Stiles's total freak out.
Stiles would have spared a moment to think about how totally embarrassing it was, but he was too busy trying not to suffocate to death. (Even though he knew good and well that panic attacks don't result in death, no matter how extreme.)
"Stiles?" Derek's muffled voice found its way to his ears. He could barely hear him or make out anything he was saying. Fortunately, Derek was talking rather loudly. Too loudly for Stiles's liking.
"Derek," Stiles said frantically. He never knew what to do to stop a panic attack - they always just eventually stopped on their own. His dad and Scott were the only people who could ever help him. And, well, Lydia, of course; but that was sort of a one-time thing.
"What - is this a panic attack?"
"Yeah - yeah," Stiles breathed out. "Y-you gotta help me, Derek."
"Me?" Derek shouted. "I-I don't know what to do, Stiles! I've never done this before!"
"It doesn't matter," Stiles whimpered, "You can do it."
Derek looked around the room frantically until he asked himself what he was even looking for and then realized that nothing in there would help him. He was going to have to do this on his own or not at all.
"Uh, okay, Stiles," Derek said, trying to stay calm for both of their sakes. He grabbed Stiles's hand and pressed it over his heart.
"Just - oh, god, I have no idea what I'm doing - okay, just... try and match your breathing to mine."
Derek took deep breaths, in and out, in and out. He waited a moment, listening closely to Stiles's heartbeat. He could tell that the boy really was trying, but it didn't seem to be working.
"Stiles, it's okay, it's okay. Just concentrate on my heartbeat. Just try to concentrate. Focus," Derek said, pressing Stiles's hand to his chest harder.
It took him about ten minutes - for Stiles, it felt like hours - but, eventually, his panic subsided and his heart slowed to an almost-normal rhythm.
"Thanks," Stiles said. Derek simply nodded.
"Scott told me. About, you know, your recurring panic attacks after your mother died. Hard to deal with, huh?"
"No," Stiles said blindly, shaking his head. His eyes widened a moment later after realizing what he'd just said. "Well, yeah, of course it's hard. But I didn't just get panic attacks because of my mom dying."
Derek observed Stiles and waited silently for him to continue.
"I just - well, I don't know. I mean, it's been ten years." Derek's heart clenched at the thought of being without a loved one for that long - his family had been dead for eight, so he could sympathize, but he had been much older than Stiles was when it happened, and possibly more able to handle it; he could at least remember things about them... was Stiles even able to remember what his mother sounded like? - and at that point he knew what Stiles was about to say. "Like, abandonment issues, I guess. I'm scared of people leaving... people dying. Like my dad. That's why I'm so obsessed with his health."
"I don't want you to pity me, though. We've got more problems than just me," Stiles added as an afterthought.
"Stiles, you're not a problem."
Stiles didn't know what to say to that. No one has ever really told him that before; especially not Derek Hale, who - up until that point - Stiles was sure hated him.
It's not that nobody cared enough to tell him that he's not a problem - a burden, an annoyment, a dead weight; you take your pick - it's just that nobody ever thought Stiles would need the assurement. He always seemed so confident and sure of himself. Seemed is the key word; he never actually was.
"Oh," Stiles finally breathed out, sort of pathetically. Derek took this as an opportunity to do what he'd been dying to do since he'd first encountered the younger boy that one day in the woods. He leaned in to kiss Stiles's lips forcefully yet gently yet emphatically all at the same time.
The kiss didn't last long; as much as they wanted to continue, they had to breathe sometime. When they pulled away, Stiles stared at Derek with wide eyes.
"Oh," Derek said, "Shit. I'm sorry. That was a complete invasion of privacy. You just had a panic attack, for God's sake. What the hell was I thinking? I'm such a-"
Stiles kissed Derek this time.
Yay for Sterek! I love Sterek; even if I am a Stalia and Stydia shipper. Who says you can't ship all three? If you aren't a Sterek shipper, please refrain from leaving hate, because all I'll do is delete it. Hope you all enjoyed; be sure to review! :)