A/N: This is my first Yami no Matsuei fic so...I'm not sure how good it will be but I'll let you figure it out for yourself.
Sometimes it gets cold, but Hisoka doesn't care. He lost all feeling of his own a while ago. He stares blankly at his white apartment wall, unblinking for hours. He just sits, tea usually beside him or in his hands, but it is always long forgotten. He does this because it is easier to just let go when he is hurting. When everyone else's emotions come in from everywhere too strongly and it is too much to bear. He called these rare days, "emotional health days." He calls in sick and suddenly he has an entire day to himself to just…let go.
He used to spend these days alone, shutting out the rest of the world. But gradually, and without Hisoka noticing, he came to have company. Occasionally Hisoka would get more and more of these days. Tsuzuki inevitably notices his otherwise always present partner's absence and he would ask Tatsumi where Hisoka was. As soon as Tsuzuki thought that Hisoka was sick, he would worry…and worry. He would finally get the courage to go over to Hisoka's apartment.
At first Hisoka wouldn't even open the door. He would ignore Tsuzuki's desperate knocks and continue staring. It slowly evolved into him actually hearing the knocks. He would walk to the door, open it and see Tsuzuki. "Baka," he would say, "go to work I'm fine." Then the door would be shut and Tsuzuki would have to leave. But as time wore on Hisoka realized, deep down, that he needed someone who was always there for him. So a day came when Hisoka let Tsuzuki in the door.
At first all Tsuzuki did was sit with Hisoka, but eventually that changed too. Hisoka started to talk, and Tsuzuki would listen. Hisoka started just talking about trivial things like weather, work and how things were going. But eventually Hisoka told Tsuzuki why he called in sick sometimes. Tsuzuki listened and said he understood. Hisoka knew he did, he believed Tsuzuki when he told Hisoka he understood. Hisoka knew little about Tsuzuki's past but he knew that it hadn't been easy and if anyone understood it was Tsuzuki.
Soon it wasn't just Hisoka that did the talking, it was Tsuzuki as well. He opened up with Hisoka. Both of them grew to trust on another, and learned a lot about each other. A comfortable atmosphere began to surround the apartment whenever Hisoka took a day off. Tsuzuki would come over, often bringing food (though it was mostly sweets), and the two would spend the day together just talking.
While Tsuzuki's emotions were often very present and sometime overwhelming, over time Hisoka decided he didn't mind. Tsuzuki's emotions became a regular fixture in his life. There were always noticed but rarely ever addressed. If they changed, which they did sometimes, Hisoka would notice and Tsuzuki would be the one talking that day.
This routine became familiar and while the pair didn't take enough days off to draw attention to themselves, they took them whenever needed. Something would change however in the course of time. They stopped being just partners when they started to open up to each other. But both of them did not notice when they stopped being good friends and they turned into something more.
The day started out like usual. Hisoka got up and felt the familiar weight on his chest. He sighed and called Tsuzuki. "Hello?" Tsuzuki's cheerful came through the phone. "It's Hisoka, I think I need to stay ome today." He could almost feel Tsuzuki soften. "I'll be right over," Tsuzuki told him and Hisoka hung up. A few minuets later Tsuzuki's familiar knock reached Hisoka's ears. "It's open!" Hisoka called. Tsuzuki came in and smilied.
"Good Morning 'Soka!" Tsuzuki called cheerfully. Hisoka glared at
his partner. "I thought I told you not to call me that Tsuzuki." Tsuzuki just laughed
and walked into the kitchen. He put the grocery bag he brought with him on the spotless
white counters. "I brought some more of your favorite tea, I noticed you were running low"
Hisoka was touched how his partner always noticed things like that. "Thanks," he said softly.
He was rewarded by one of Tsuzuki's rare true smiles, Hisoka smiled back. They were soon
settled on Hisoka's couch, Hisoka with tea in hand and Tsuzuki close by his side.
"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked. Tsuzuki turned and faced his partner with a smile. "Yes
Hisoka?" "What..." Hisoka hesitated, he was unsure how to ask,"how do you feel around me"
Tsuzuki looked a little caught off gaurd by Hisoka's quesion. "Well, I'm always happy around
you," he started. But Hisoka cut him off, "Yes I know, but I feel other things, and I just
want to know." He knew what the feelings were, affection, care, happiness and what he thought
to be love. But he always shook off that one as wishful thinking. 'Why would anyone love me'
he often thought to himself.
Tsuzuki smiled, it was a but sad though. He stayed deep in thought for a while before decieding to take a chance and answer. "Hisoka...I know I can be hard to tolerate sometimes. I know that sometimes you don't even want to put up with me, but despite all that..." Tsuzuki trailed off and stood. He walked over to the window and looked out, ready for rejection. "I think that I have...fallen in love with you."
The room silenced. Niether of them moved or said anything. Tears sprang to Tsuzuki's,
ready to fall. Hisoka sat stunned on the couch, staring at Tsuzuki's back in shock. 'Tsu.
Tsuzuki loves me? But why...?' Hisoka thought to himself, 'Who could love him? He didn' deserve
someone like Tsuzuki...Tsuzukiwas perfect he was just...' "I understand of you don't feel,"
Tsuzuki interupted Hisoka's thoughts. Kisoka could hear Tsuzuki's voice ready to break. He
stood quickly and walked over to Tsuzuki. He put a hand on the older shinigami's shoulder.
Tsuzuki turned quickly and looked into Hisoka's emerald eyes.
Hisoka could see the ready tears in Tsuzuki's amethist eyes. He hated to think that he had been the one to cause them. He wraped his arms around Tsuzuki's middle and started to sob. Tsuzuki imeaditly put his arms around his smaller partner. He gently stroked Hisoka's hair and murmered gentle words of comfort. Hisoka thought Tsuzuki was being stupid, here he knew that he still hadn't said anything to tell Tsuzuki that he felt the same so Tsuzuki had to be hurting and yet Tsuzuki was comforting him.
"Baka," Hisoka murmered. He looked up and emerald clased with amethist eyes. Hisoka could feel Tsuzuki's worry, a little hurt, but most of all the love. "I love you too."Hisoka said softly. Tsuzuki smiled a heart warming smiled and the feeling of hurt was washed away and love radiated from his eyes. He held Hisoka close to him and kissed his hair. Hisoka smiled through his tears and hugged Tsuzuki back with furver. The two stood like that for a long time.
After this day, the two had never been closer, they were always together and soon Tsuzuki moved in with Hisoka. Hisoka couldn't have asked for more, he finally had someone to understand him and the way he felt. And when those days came, the ones that were too hard to bear, Tsuzuki was always right there ready to comfort.
Fin
A/N: Please Review, thanks!