"This will take how long?"
There was a certain nervousnessin the prince's voice, only overtaken by the growling tone he let roll with it. From all the things he didn't need that day, it was the carriage breaking down on the way to the next negotiation meeting. Not only would it make him stand in a bad light to come late, but it also would make the people talk about how he wanted to ditch out of this meeting so badly, he lied about his carriage. Kouen knew this was going to happen, and it put him into an angry and frustrated state.
However, the driver kept his cool, even standing his ground against the member of royalty. "I sent the page, ya know, the kid. Anyways, I sent the page to get us a spare wheel from the next town. Might take an hour, or maybe even two hours, but it'll take a while, to get it fixed." Groaning, the prince walked away without any form of goodbye, opening the way into the carriage and slamming the door behind him.
"And?" you asked, not looking up from the scroll in your hand. Just like Kouen, you had your duties to attend to and you were determined to get the information you needed from the paper. "One or two hours," he replied bitterly, sinking down onto the seat in front of you. "Told you so," you replied in a humorous manner, smiling as you read through the sentences. He replied with a grunt, angry that you had been right before when you told him the exact same time span. Or maybe he was just angry at the situation, it wasn't very obvious to you.
You knew too well how important this specific meeting was and the tension running through the prince very well deserved to be there. However, you sighed as you put the scroll aside, leaning forward to touch his knee. "We'll still be on time. It's so early, they don't expect us before sunset anyway," you tried to calm him, smiling at him.
Kouen was not convinced but he at least let out his breath and the tension on his shoulders dissolved slowly. You smiled more when you saw him relax a little and gave his knee some pats with your hands, before leaning back again. Pushing the curtain on the window out of the way you gave the outdoor area a thorough inspection, sighing longingly.
It was beautiful outside. The autumn painted everything in warm orange and brown tones, from the leaves to the grass. Some rare spots of pink and red fluttered through and the falling, yellow leaves that danced on the breeze made you long for a stroll outside. You heard Kouen shuffle in his seat, his hand soon enough pushed the curtain further away, enabling him to look out too as he followed your gaze with his eyes.
"It's pretty…" you sighed, grazing the landside with your look. You hadn't been able to give your mind a break. Instead you had been driving through the country with Kouen, attending meetings and educating yourself on new knowledge to use. There was no time for breaks, by how rapidly the two of you had to get from place to place, and now you really felt just how much you had spent indoors, not even noticing the seasons pass.
Kouen looked over from the spot he was sitting at, inspecting your hair and the soft features of your face as you gazed outside with so much longing. He let out a deep breath, before pulling back from the window and getting up, taking your wrist into his hand gently. "Come," he said and even though you gave him a confused look, you let yourself be pulled out of the carriage by him.
Immediately there were soldiers around the two of you, making sure you are safe. Much to your surprise however, Kouen waved them off, telling them to look after the carriage. You gave the warriors a smile, thanking them for their work, while the prince tugged you along and away. Luckily, he didn't let you follow his footsteps for too long, the position you were in getting uncomfortable.
Then again, you were surprised when he held out his arm, an unusual gesture from Kouen. He wasn't known for being tactful and you had abandoned the thought of him being overly romantic. You couldn't even remember the last time the two of you linked arms, if there even was an opportunity before, so you eagerly took the chance he gave you now.
You couldn't help but smile at his affectionate behavior. Even though his expression didn't change drastically, you noticed how he slowed down his walking to match yours and also leaned to the side a bit so you could easily hold on to him. He wasn't a man of many words, but he made up for it with all the little gestures he expressed randomly. You couldn't be happier to be by his side.
Leading the way, the two of you browsed through the grassy area, the path leading you into an alley of trees. You went quite a bit ahead of the carriage, which was still resting at the place it broke down. The autumn wind was fresh and you felt good when breathing it in, but it also felt a little cold against the few open patches of your clothes, so you drew closer to the arm that was held out for you, seeking the prince's warmth.
Above the two of you, a sudden flock of birds raised up, the sound of their wings and the cooing making you stop and look up. You watched how they flew high and then slowly disappeared from your line of sight. "It's getting colder, they are leaving for a warmer place," you mumbled, staring at the last point you had seen the flying animals. "Indeed," Kouen replied and the two of you slowly continued on your way.
"Soon, all the leaves will have fallen down and everything will be covered by an icy blanket," you sighed, looking down to the path you were walking on, listening to the leaves crunch under your feet. Kouen didn't say anything, taking your words as the facts they were. You understood that there was nothing to add for him, since his words would serve no other purpose than holding small-talk, something he didn't like.
Undeterred, you continued. "You ever think about this, Kouen?" On the call of his name, he turned his head towards you, his eyes burning with a questioning gaze. "About life and death, the endless cycle, I mean…" Biting your lower lip, you lowered your eyes which had met his previously. Cautiously and softly you added, "You were on a battlefield before, did this never cross your mind?"
You could feel his arm tense a little at the mentioning of war. It was his own love-hate relationship with it that urged him to think about your words for a while. There was silence between the two of you, minutes passing as you made your way down a branch of the path. Surprisingly, a small lake opened up before the two of you, a few last ducks circling on top of the water.
The two of you came to a halt and you let go of his arm, both of your limbs falling to the side of your bodies. "What happens…" he grumbled, letting the words fall of his tongue. Then he shrugged before adding, "happens." You looked at him, nodding slowly. His gaze was fixated on the grey-blue of the lake, but you were able to see a small hint of pain in the wrinkles he had on the side of his eyes.
The prince was thinking back to his past and the loss of his heroes at that time, you were sure about that. You were never able to confirm if he was still troubled by it - Kouen would always avoid the topic and there was no clear answer - but you knew. Deep inside it still shook him to the core and with all the responsibility that suddenly was on his shoulders, he never did have the time to come to terms with it.
"So I am not afraid of something that might be. I'll deal with it once its time is drawing close," he finally replied to your question. You tenderly placed your hand on his upper arm, leaning against him without putting much weight on him, and mumbled, "I see." For a moment the silence returned but it wasn't too long until you picked up your voice again.
"I am. I am afraid of the day that I won't be able to spend with you." Though it had cost you a whole lot of confidence to say that, you felt proud to have it off your chest. It wasn't very often that the two of you exchanged words about your feelings and when you thought about it again, you felt a little stupid for doing so, but you also were glad that it was out. Maybe it had been the warmth radiating from him. Or maybe it had been the strength you felt when leaning against his arm. But your voice had left you before you could overthink it. However, you couldn't bring yourself to regret it.
Kouen didn't reply to that. You didn't really expect him to. Instead, the two of you said your farewells to the lake, the last duck swinging its wings and leapt out of the water, leaving its home behind to escape the cold winter. You made your way back to the carriage in silence, only disturbed by the cracking of the leaves and the breeze that rustled the tree crowns.
The carriage came back into sight soon, making you let out a sigh in relief when you made out the page that brought back the wheel, already working on the repairs. That was, until you suddenly felt a warm hand engulf yours, Kouen holding you back slightly and slowing down your steps. It took a few seconds until you two came to a halt and you looked at him expectantly. He didn't meet your gaze, looking stoically forward at the carriage and observing what was going on.
"We need to appreciate what we have. But…" his words got quiet again and for a short moment, he looked at you. It was a soft gaze and his red eyes shimmered affectionately in a light tone. The words that followed were almost inaudible, but even just the motion of his lips got stuck in your head. He let go of your hand, making his way towards the carriage alone.
"But the thought of parting with you does worry me," he had said and you stumbled after him immediately, determined to not let him go back alone. Not now, and not until death will part the two of you.