Over and Over

Jacob writes Bella a letter telling her how everything is and needs to be.

Most of the letter is the song Over and Over by: Three Days Grace. The bold is the lyrics.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

As Jacob sat down with a pen in one hand and Bella's letter in the other, he thought the completely hard and pain sopped thoughts that had kept him from responding for so long. He looked down at her letter one last time.

Jake,

I know I haven't been there. Charlie tells me you haven't been yourself. Depressed and reclusive. You know Billy and him gossip like old woman. I feel terrible for causing that. But you need to know that I'm not steamed about you tattling on me about the bike anymore. Well at least I'm a lot less steamed. I haven't been that much better without you. I just need to know where you stand because the odds of us being friends after everything are very slim. I just wish it wasn't this way. Let me know.

Bella

He threw the letter crashing into the garbage can, bumping his large knees on his tiny desk in the process. Which just made him more frustrated and hurt. He was hurt. I know the feeling isn't that mutual. He thought. I feel it everyday it's all the same. It brings me down but I'm the one to blame. I've tried everything to get away. So here I go again, chasing you down again, why do I do this? He grabbed a notebook, furiously ripping out a page to belatedly tell this girl how it had to be.

Bella,

Over and over, over and over I fall for you
Over and over, over and over I try not to

It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away.
So here I go again. Chasing you down again… Why do I do this?

He shakily paused the pen on top of the dot in the question mark and thought about marking through the last line, and decided against it. It's my last time to tell her anything; I might as well write what I feel. He thought before continuing.

Bella,

Over and over, over and over I fall for you
Over and over, over and over I try not to

It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away.
So here I go again. Chasing you down again… Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over I fall for you
Over and over, over and over I try not to

Over and over, over and over you make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over you don't even try

His heart wrenched and a low growl of despair and end sounded deep in the pit of his chest. He looked at his letter so far and had a hard time not ripping it up and throwing it away. He hated the way it looked, the words as offensive and trajectory as the depth of the letters from pushing down so hard on the paper. He started again, trying to force hate to envelope loss and pain so that he could finally let go.

Bella,

Over and over, over and over I fall for you.
Over and over, over and over I try not to.

It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away.
So here I go again. Chasing you down again… Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over I fall for you.
Over and over, over and over I try not to.

Over and over, over and over you make me fall for you.
Over and over, over and over you don't even try.

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me.

But I want you instead! I'll just keep on wasting all my time.

He shot the pen down at the desk with such force it shattered and spilled ink, which sunk into the wood, making it impossible to get out. Just like his feelings for her. He salvaged the letter before it could be drenched in the black ooze. He HATED it. He hated ever meeting her in the first place. He wished that he didn't feel the way he did but it was just impossible. He despised the leech. His fur stood up on his arms as he thought of the bloodsucker touching her. It boiled his own blood. He read over the letter a last time as his eyes stung.

Bella,

Over and over, over and over I fall for you.
Over and over, over and over I try not to.

It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away.
So here I go again. Chasing you down again… Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over I fall for you.
Over and over, over and over I try not to.

Over and over, over and over you make me fall for you.
Over and over, over and over you don't even try.

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me.

But I want you instead! I'll just keep on wasting all my time.

I can't do this anymore. Sorry.

Jacob

He scrawled out the last part of his parting letter. The paper scorched his hands- burned the skin. He quickly and sloppily creased the letter through the middle and once more before shoving it down into his pocket. He slammed his face into his palms, so hard there was sure to be marks, and tried to get the whole nightmare out of his head. It was damaging his sanity as well as wounding what he could only describe as a hole in his abdomen similar to the one Bella described not that long ago. As he fell to his hands and knees on the floor in fired exhaustion he thought the only words that he knew would be even a bit useful to get rid of the storming remorse he felt taking over him as he supported his desperation. Over and over, over and over you don't even try. Over and over, over and over you don't even try. Over and over, over and over you don't even try.