Birthright
Savage Valentine
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"I don't like Alice."
"It's a lovely name for a girl."
"I don't like it. What about boys' names?"
"You said we were picking a girl's name first."
"It's obvious we can't agree, so now let's try to pick out a boy's name instead. What about Malcolm?"
"Sure, if you want to name him after a low-class land criminal…"
"This coming from the man who wants to name his daughter Alice. Using the same logic, you'd be naming her after a little girl who follows talking rabbits into rabbit holes!"
"That little girl is a fictional character, unlike your Malcolm, who is a real person."
"Fine. If you don't call her Alice, I won't call him Malcolm."
"Alright. What about Edmund?"
"Gol D. Edmund? It sounds like you have a stuffy nose."
"True."
"My turn. Hmm… Ace."
"Ace? After the beer or the card?"
"It's not after anything! Ace is a nice name and I like it. If it's a boy, his name is Ace."
"Then if it's a girl-"
"Ann."
"I thought that one was off the table."
"No. 'Alice' is off the table. Ann is what we will name the baby if it's a girl."
"Ann if it's a girl, Ace if it's a boy. And there's nothing I can do about that."
"It's called birthright. I'm the one who will be giving birth; therefore, it is my right to name the baby."
"Hah."