Confusion
By ArizonaRed
Caution: A bit of language and Yaoi-lemon!
I really don't know how to explain it. I don't know how it happened, how it was allowed to happen. I have heard it was known to happen among the soldiers, the low classes. It is a part of Saiyan nature, we adapt very well. But me? The Prince of all Saiyans reduced to no better than a low-class soldier...just like Kakkarrot. Why did he choose to do this to me? Kakkarrot has been my rival since I came to this mud-ball of a planet. I never thought this would happen, but I guess I needed it. Somehow, I know needed him.
It started about a year after Kakkarrot's wife and Bulma died in a plane crash. He only tolerated my demands to continue sparring, but gradually he began to look forward to each session. It was the only form of structure that kept us from falling completely apart. I just thought he had finally gotten over his wife...I barely was able to stop thinking of my mate. He had changed, and now that I look back I should have seen why.
The day started like any other, we had agreed to meet in our usual area for another sparring session. And, just like always, Kakkarrot was late. For some time now I had noticed that he had smelled differently, it reminded me of Bulma in a way. Today was no exception, his scent was particularly strong. I couldn't figure it out and quickly dismissed it at the prospect of fighting.
"Hello Vegeta, sorry I'm late...I had to eat something first."
"Kakkarrot, if you were truly sorry for being late, you'd stop being late."
"I really wish you'd stop calling me that name...it's not my name." He frowned as he began warming up. I simply flashed my infamous smirk.
"You are Saiyan and that is your Saiyan name. Since I am your Prince, I choose what to call you, Kakkarrot." Personally, it makes no difference to me what I call him, Kakkarrot, Goku, Baka...I just outwardly insist on his original name to get a rise out of him. Today it seems like it was working. He removed his shirt just as I finished my warm-up. For some reason, Kakkarrot being shirtless unsettled me, almost embarrassing. I looked away quickly when I noticed my face growing hot from blushing. Immediately shaking it from my mind, I turned back to him, wondering what the hell that was about. To my dismay, I have seen this other Saiyan completely naked before, and he has seen me also. No big deal then, so why now?
"Vegeta? Are you ready?" Attempting to rid him of asking ridiculous questions, I lunged at him, fist aiming for his face. He caught it and blocked a sweeping kick. I flipped around to land my other fist at the first destination but he caught this one too, holding both my wrists firmly for a second. I would have though he was mocking my attacks, except his face was totally devoid of any such emotion. Then suddenly a rosy tint filled his face, letting my wrists free. "Vegeta? Uh...can we just spar lightly today? I'm not feeling quite my normal self."
"Humph! You think I really give a shit?" I appeared in front of him and buried my fist into his relaxed abdomen. My other fist joined in by swinging up and connecting with Kakkarrot's jaw. A small trickle of blood ran down the corner of his lips and finally rested on my shoulder as his body sagged against mine. For a moment I was in shock, I didn't expect him not to block me. The fragrance of his blood and strange scent lingered in the air, his body slipping off mine. He backed up to check his injuries, revealing a darkening abrasion on his stomach. His fingers brushed along the bruised skin, face contorting into a wince of pain. His eyes looked up into mine, emanating betrayal.
"Vegeta? How could you do that...why?" My throat seized up...I actually felt sorry for what I had done. This emotion was still new and totally unwanted and I didn't know what to say. My instincts jumped in, rescuing me from more embarrassment.
"How could I do what? Actually fight like we came here to do? I don't care how you feel because I don't care about you! Don't mistake my wanting to fight you for any sort of friendship." To help bring this point across, I violently connected my foot to his chin and sent him flying back 30 feet. As Kakkarrot stopped his body from flying farther, a ripping, feral scream erupted from deep within him.
"YOU FUCKING INBRED LITTLE COWARD! I WON'T LET YOU TREAT ME LIKE THAT ANYMORE!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!" With lightening speed, he dug his foot into my side and continued the assault with numerous attacks. After a cracking blow to the ribs, he backed away slightly then disappeared from view. I tried to follow, but suddenly his voice reappeared. "Behind you!" Before I could turn to see him, a crushing fist bombed the back of my neck, sending me plummeting into a mountain and ending up in a cave. As my mind blacked out, the last thoughts were of my impending death at the hands of Kakkarrot.
After several hours, I awoke to find myself still alive and leaning against a cave wall. Kakkarrot was watching me regain consciousness very intently. He had built a fire near me and was sitting on the opposite side. The coldness of the stone against my back ran a shiver through my weakened body, making me lean closer to the fire.
"How long was I out?" I asked softly.
"About five hours." He hesitated to continue talking, but eventually moved to sit next to me. "Vegeta, I'm so very sorry...and I know you probably won't speak to me for along time...if ever again...but I didn't mean what I said and I don't why..." I cut him off.
"It's all right...Goku." His eyes looked at me in amazement and to reaffirm what he heard me call him. "I...I didn't mean anything I said either...I was just trying to get you to fight...I am sorry."
"Wow, I must have hit you harder than I thought...did you just say..."
"Yes I did just say that, but don't expect me to say it again anytime soon!" He smiled, relieved to see me returning to my normal self. Tossing a few more pieces of wood onto the fire, he sat back closer to me, his bare shoulder touching my skin through a ripped sleeve.
"God Vegeta, your really cold. Here move closer to the fire." He grabbed his earlier removed shirt and wrapped it around my shoulders.
"Are you my mother now? You gonna feed me too?" He chuckled silently and moved me closer to the flames. "Why don't we just leave now that I'm wake?"
"Because I remember that Gohan told me once that if someone suffers from a neck or head injury, they shouldn't be moved for 24 hours to check their condition."
"Kakkarrot! I am not some weak and frail human!" He then shot a look that meant I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Rolling my eyes I decided not to fight it, especially while being weak, tired and injured. Not knowing what set him off before, I didn't want to risk doing it again...this time he would kill me...not like I was afraid of him but I would rather not go through dying again. I laid back against the cold wall and began to take inventory on my wounds. I ran my fingers over my ribs and softly hissed upon finding the damaged ones.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just found the ribs you played with..."
"Oh...can I feel them?" Shrugging out of indifference, I raised my arm to give him better accuracy. He stretched a hand across my body and gently placed his hand on the wound. The warmth in his hand seemed to take some of the pain away. He suddenly jerked back his hand in shock. "Under your skin! Something's moving around!"
"My ribs are just healing, that's all."
"That fast?!"
"Of course, baka! Saiyans heal at a much more accelerated rate than humans. I would have thought you'd have noticed that by now!" Kakkarrot returned the warm hand to my injured side. Unknowing of his actions, he let his fingers skim along my skin, which made my aching body relax and closed my eyes. They danced down my arms, across my stomach, up my chest, and rested on my shoulder. My mental alarms were about to short circuit. ~ Why are you letting him touch you? He's a low-class baka! You can't afford to be relaxed around him...he almost killed you! ~ Something connected to those finger tips pulled the plug and killed my thoughts.
Without warning, the fingers stopped and pasted themselves to my jaw. I opened my eyes to see that Kakkarrot was staring straight into mine. The blood rushed to my face and tried to blink him away. It was to no avail. He opened his mouth, like something was to be said, but no words came. Only his warm, moist lips, caressing mine. My alarms blew a circuit breaker.
"Wha... what are you doing?" I whispered with my heart racing in my throat.
"I don't know Vegeta...but it feels so right...doesn't it?" I couldn't think. All I knew was that Kakkarrot's breath felt wonderful on my cheek. I could still taste his mouth on mine and his strange scent was stronger and more intoxicating than ever.
"Yeah," I breathed out the word. Slowly, Kakkarrot's hand pulled my face back to his, more passionately this time. His wet tongue ran down along my bottom lip, then dipped into my mouth and flicked against my own, coaxing it out. Scrapping against my razor canine, it drew enough for a droplet of blood to fall on my tongue. The gentle heat and metallic taste set my own blood on fire. Allowing Kakkarrot passive entrance turns on him when I begin sucking on his damaged tongue, gushing the blood on to mine. The front of my training shorts began to swell from my bloodthirsty drive. Jumping back startled, Kakkarrot pulls back all the way.
"Ouch...that hurt." To see if it was still bleeding, he stuck it out and tried to look. A slow stream of blood worked its way to the tip and collected a drop. I couldn't stop myself...leaned forward taking his tongue into my mouth and sucked off the blood. Once again Kakkarrot jumped. "Why are you doing that? Doesn't that taste gross?" Now it was my turn, to see if he retained his Saiyan instinct of blood lust.
Calmly, I brushed my lips to his, then gradually deepened the kiss, tenaciously exploring him. Once his lust outweighed the pain, his tongue slid against mine. With a strong flick, I cut my tongue in his mouth and dripped the red liquid on to his tongue. A low, airy moan escaped his parted lips as he too began sucking the blood off me. His lips left mine and traveled down to my neck, kissing, licking and sucking the thick muscles. My arms wrapped themselves around his heavily built shoulders. Shaking hands moved up underneath my shirt, massaging the hidden muscles. Pulling it up and over my head, his heated mouth continued the journey finding my nipple. My fiery blood rushed to my face again as a strong tongue brushed over me. I clutched on to the obsidian spikes in front of my face. Wanting better access, he moved above me and swung a leg over to straddle my legs.
"I'm not too heavy on you...am I?" A voice whispered in my ear. My lips parted to answer, but my throat refused to respond. Abandoning hope for my voice to arise, I shook my head. He turned his head to look into my eyes. "Vegeta...are you all right with this?" I must have had a strange expression on my face since he suddenly looked ill, beginning to get off my legs. "Oh Vegeta, I'm so sorry...I...I don't know what came over me...I didn't mean for this...why didn't you stop me?" My thoughts realized at that moment that I needed him. I wanted this to happen, I wasn't going to let him stop now. Hormones had already taken control of my rational judgment and body actions.
My hand shot out, gripped on to his firm hip and jerked it back to me. His balance was immediately thrown off and started to fall towards my chest. My other hand pulled his lips back to mine, the heat melting into my skin. For a second, Kakkarrot seemed surprised and didn't move. Eventually, my tongue working on his lip coaxed the supple moist mouth to rub with mine. His body radiated so much heat against mine, a heat I had craved and missed since Bulma died. His fingers moved on the skin around my waist, diving underneath the band on my shorts. The electricity that carried through the migrating fingers made my body ache for more. Kakkarrot must have felt it too, his hand crept down until it reached my painfully aroused member. I bit back a cry of pleasure, his other hand slipping the shorts down my thighs. He broke our ongoing kiss to have his first look at my hardened length, his eyes grew in amazement. I laughed at the expression on his naive face.
"Bulma looked the same way you just did on our first night together."
"Geez Vegeta! I'm bigger than you...but not like that! I'm surprised you didn't kill Bulma with that!" His trademark grin spread across his face...as a chalky, sickened one split over mine. The deepened memory of my dead Earth-wife violently pulled me back into reality. I jerked back in terror...what the hell was I doing?! I was letting my sworn and most hated enemy touch me...kiss me...I was enjoying it. I wanted him to do more. Kakkarrot looked concerned and reached for my hands. "Vegeta are you all right?" I yanked my hands away out of his reach and tugged my pants back up.
"Do I look all right?! What in the fucking hell were you just doing to me!?!"
"What do you mean? I asked if you were ok with this and you kissed me back...did I do something wrong?" An agonizing hurt washed over his face.
"WHAT?!? Of Course you did something wrong!! You Baka! I am a male just like you! You don't kiss the same sex! And what's more is that I am your Prince!"
"I know your my prince," he stated calmly, "That's why I guess I liked it so much...didn't you like it?" My stomach flopped around and turned in nausea at his words, which rang in my head. 'My Prince'... the long-awaited acknowledgment finally came. I was surprised that my enjoyment of hearing those words from him was not in arrogance...but in a strange contentment. 'Didn't you like it?' the next phrase echoed in my brain. My will surrendered as I breathed out a single word.
"Yes." Kakkarrot looked instantly relieved.
"Good, then what's the problem?"
"I can't stop hating you...if I did there would be nothing left in my life except the masses of bodies I've left behind."
"That's not true and you know it. I've spent the entire time that I've known you, struggling to catch up to you." My ears were definitely playing cruel tricks on me.
"To me?"
"Exactly...you are so much better with hunting, your instincts, strategy planning. Strength is nothing without brains to go with it." He paused for a brief moment. "I'm
strong just by pure luck...you're strong because you fought your way to it." I was in total shock...did Kakkarrot just admit to idolizing me? "I guess my admiration turned into love a little while ago...I didn't mean to force you into this." He slowly backed up from me and grabbed his shirt. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"No...you're right. I have to listen to my instincts, to what I want instead to my pride. There is something more to you now...I can't ignore it forever." I leaned against him, my eyes catching his. "Please...Goku..." His eyes broke our glance to close as a smile slipped over his lips. I pulled the shirt out of his hand as our lips connected again. The lingering trace of his blood washed over my tongue, hurling my hormone driven actions farther.
"God you smell good Vegeta," the electricity in Kakkarrot's voice sent shock waves through my nerves.
"You smell even better..." I breathed into his mouth. Warm hands ran down to the front of my shorts, massaging me through the cloth. A soft moan passed from my mouth, the blood rushing again to my face. Trembling fingers slipped underneath my pants as they cupped my rear and slid the unwanted clothing down around my knees. His lips and tongue traveled down my heaving chest, leaving my skin burning. He reached down and caressed my bare length with tight but slow strokes, causing my breath to quicken.
He kissed farther down, my hand resting in his smooth hair which was tickling and brushing against my lower stomach. I whimpered softly as he moved his hand away, but a new sensations replaced it...hot, wet, slick and vaguely familiar. My eyes shot open and I looked down to see myself sliding in and out of Kakkarrot's mouth. My own jaw dropped as a low growl escaped from it, my hands pulling tightly on his black spikes. His wet tongue wrapped around the tip, greedily lapping up very bit of pre-cum I leaked. My eyes fluttered close as the instinctual urge to thrust kicked in and I began pumping into his awaiting mouth. His hands held down my hips, but then eventually gave up and let me thrust down his throat.
My blood was on fire, I couldn't hold on to him hard enough to come close to rivaling the pure pleasure he was giving me. My cries alternated between low moans and crying out his Saiyan and Earth names. The familiar heated tingle curled in the pit of my pelvis, as his hand reached up then clawed down my chest. My eyes opened back up to see Kakkarrot's head bobbing up and down, then suddenly my vision clouded over as I peaked violently. Wave after wave of pure and utter ecstasy washed over my body, rendering me immobile. Momentarily my senses began to return which revealed a grinning companion as he wiped a corner of his mouth. I tried to move but my aching body just wasn't ready to obey me. He laid down next to me pressing his heated body to mine. My head fell to the side, gazing into his eyes, the expression on his face turned to pure joy.
"I was hoping to make it really good for you...was it?" I chuckled the best I could for the time being. Hearing my soft laugh, his face fell again and expected a cruel but all too usual remark. I actually was glad to disprove his expectation.
"Good doesn't even come close to it...I can't even think of a word to describe it." Kakkarrot's confidence returned and landed a sweet kiss on my nose. He then settled back, laying on my shoulder and worked at preparing his body for sleep. As he pulled his arm across my chest, his still hard member brushed against my hip. I felt a twinge of guilt when I realize this other Saiyan had not been satisfied. "I'm sorry" I whispered as I received a look of bewilderment from him. Before he could question it, I pulled his lips to mine. My hand fell down to my side, softly stroked him. He had succeeded at calming himself down, but he quickly hardened into my hand. I ran my thumb over the tip and spread the thick fluid around the swollen head. My eyes were glued to his face, my lust feeding off Kakkarrot's reactions. Every gasp of breath, finger tightening on my skin, bitten lip in pleasure caused me to ache painfully, aching to please him. I wanted to show him exactly just how delicious it was.
"Oh God, Vegeta...you...you don't...have...to do this..." I started to pump him even harder.
"I want to...I want to make you scream, to hear you growl my name." I pulled my hand away and earned a slight whimper. Leaning back to him, I ran my tongue along his lip then deepened the kiss. While Kakkarrot's tongue wrestled with mine, my mind battled with a decision of it's own. After I had finally chose my direction, I adjusted my weight and pulled him on top of me so that he was straddling my legs. The strange look from him almost made me laugh, but that would have diluted my sacrifice to him. "I want you to...take me..." I almost had to check his pulse, making sure he didn't have a heart attack or something.
"What?"
"You heard me..."
"Vegeta...I can't do that to you...I don't want to hurt you...I wouldn't even know what to do..." My hand rested on the back of his neck and pulled him to me. No matter how innocent he was acting now, I wasn't about to let him stop. He was going to finish what he started. Kakkarrot's eyes searched my own, as if trying to look into my mind to see if I was lying. His face suddenly softened into his usual grin.
"I really didn't expect you to take me seriously..." he trailed off in his thoughts. His hands came up to my jaw line and cupped it gently, bringing my gaze into his. "I...I love you, Vegeta...My Prince." Those words had a strange effect on me, I now felt the same about Kakkarrot as I once did Bulma. I have no idea if it's what humans call love, but I do know that I will never see him the same way again. I want him by me always, I crave his taste, I don't feel complete without him and will die to protect him. The same Saiyan I once came to Earth so I could destroy him. I suddenly feel relieved that I failed to finish that mission.
His leg timidly lifted itself over mine and came down between them, nudging them apart. His eyes never leaving my face so he could watch for signs that I didn't wish to continue. My lips parted to speak, but my throat failed me once again...I wanted to tell him that it might be easier if he was behind me but decided not to. Whatever his reason, Kakkarrot had chosen this way over the other...perhaps he wanted the intimacy this position offered. After the other leg joined its partner, he lowered his body down onto mine. His heat seeped into my body as his fiery mouth attacked my exposed neck, my hands finding their way into his wiry hair. The touch was so mesmerizing that I quickly lost myself in it, forgetting the impending pain.
The soft sensation of flesh was once again at my length, stroking it, almost commanding it to harden. It did so without the slightest objection. A purr-like growl emanated from deep within my chest as a sticky bead collected at the tip. Kakkarrot swept a finger over the area, collecting the fluid. I looked into his face to question, but it only had a look of trust on it. Within seconds, the slick moisture was smoothed over me in preparation. While my heart began to pang from the tenderness of his actions, it also threw me into a panic. I immediately fought the urge to tense knowing full well that it only made it even more unbearably painful. His other fingers grazed along my jaw-line for comfort.
"I won't hurt you. I'll be gentle...I promise." A soft and reassuring kiss found it's way to my nose again as he adjusted his position above me. Kakkarrot's soft yet strong hands raised my legs up and settled them down high on his firm thighs. His reassurance actually helped calm me. My eyes closed in nervous anticipation, a fleshy warmth was now pressing against the highly sensitive spot. Gradually, but firmly the same flesh began its entry. My breathing hitched as an uncontrollable groan slipped past Kakkarrot's defenses. His skillful entry caused my skin to burn until he was completely engulfed within me. Tiny tremors from the younger Saiyan's body proved he was struggling to maintain control. My hands placed themselves on the small of his back, fingertips digging into the hot skin.
Unable to remain still any longer, Kakkarrot slowly began sliding within my body. The burning pain gradually dissipated as his thrusts became more powerful. He fit my body like a gloved hand, making his movements all the sweeter. My legs wrapped themselves around Kakkarrot's waist pulling him in all the deeper. The hot explosion of pleasure made my back arch up to him as he touched something deep inside me. A heavy growl echoed off the cave walls, I dimly noticed that it did not come from me. My eyes opened and focused on Kakkarrot's face; his own eyes screwed tightly shut and mouth forming anxious pants. The sheer sight of such lust on my lover's face poured more adrenaline into my blood. My erection was ground briskly underneath Kakkarrot's pelvis as his pace increased for his impending climax. Again, the tight heat began to coil in my gut signaling how close I was. My fingertips cut into his skin, silently begging him to hurry. Velvety lips caressed mine as his hot tongue played with mine. In a swift move, my tongue dove under his and pushed it up to my fang. Two fresh wounds seeped the crimson aphrodisiac from him and I. Simultaneously, we let out urgent and deep moans as the taste of each other's blood crashed our orgasms down on us. Kakkarrot was the first to recover as he rested his forehead on my chin, still panting hard.
"Oh...Vegeta...I...love you..." Although he was whispering, his voice seemed so loud in my head. My hands slowly made their way to his face and brought it up to meet mine. Such open honesty shone through him as I managed a weary smile and kissed him for the last time that night. He settled back down and laid his head on my chest, holding me tightly. I remember sighing softly just before sleep took me.
I awoke the next morning to the sun's light peaking over our doorway in the mountain. Vaguely, I became aware of the heavy and quite naked body laying on me between my stiff legs. Kakkarrot. The next second, the previous night's events poured into my memory. A heated rush of blood surged to my face as my stomach flopped from the flood of hormones in my system. A slow, creeping panic attack took hold of me, still laying motionless beneath my one-time enemy. What had I done? What had I allow him to do to me? I couldn't seem to grasp any certain emotion floating around in my mind. Pain? Shame? Passion? Hate? Humiliation? Anger? Every emotion that had ever been experienced flashed through my lust-soaked brain. I wanted desperately to run, get out of this situation...yet I could not. My hand dug itself into the silky raven-colored hair as I lifted my head to peer at it's owner. A contented smile graced his slightly parted lips as the rhythmic breathing flowed through Kakkarrot's body. I don't know how long I laid there watching him breath, could have been minutes or hours...I didn't care. It was very comforting, which was something I hadn't felt in a long while. Before I would have liked, eyelids began to flutter open along with muscles stretching for a day's work. One deep breath and he was awake, bending his neck to look at me.
"Hmmm...Good morning Vegeta!" The other Saiyan started to stretch again, but quickly flinched in stiff pain. "I guess I forgot to stretch after our intense spar match yesterday." Nothing of the other emotions I had seemed to come close to his peaceful awakening. Could he have forgotten? Did it really happen? Every muscle in my being tensed as tender lips were pressed to mine, proving that it DID happen and he DIDN'T forget. Slowly, he pulled back and smiled. "How did you sleep last night?" How could he be so calm? It was quite obvious that he remembered, but why wasn't he reacting as I was? Why wasn't he feeling embarrassed? Before I could realize, my lips moved in response.
"Fine." Gazing into my ebony eyes, he must have seen my uncertainty buried in there.
"Are you okay, Vegeta?" Hearing my name roll off his tongue sent a sweetened shock through my nerves. I liked to hear him say my name. Firmly, I began to sit up with him moving to sit beside me. I sighed heavily and paused; for once I did not know what to say. I did know that I didn't want to hurt him as I have so many times before.
"Kakkarrot...I...I don't know..." He folded his arms as if trying to protect himself.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No, You didn't hurt me" Another awkward pause.
"Do you regret last night?" I closed my eyes and thought carefully. The answer was perfectly clear, yet something dark threatened to cloud over it.
"No. I do not regret what happened last night." Kakkarrot's face lightened as if a heavy weight had been suddenly pulled off.
"Would you ever want this to happen again...with me?" I blinked rapidly as I realized he was just as insecure and confused as I was.
"Yes." He breathed a sigh of relief and ran a finger down my cheek as his supple lips met mine briefly. "Are you alright with this?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Isn't relationships such as this seen as a taboo on this planet?"
"But Vegeta, do you forget? I'm not from this planet...I am Saiyan." His allegiance to our race was spoken with such pure pride it made me smile.
"Yes, but your sons, Trunks and Bra are half human. Is it possible for them to understand this?"
"Gohan and Goten see you as an uncle and Trunks and Bra always seem to be happy to see me. They care about and love us, and given some time, I'm sure they will be happy for us."
We flew home at a relaxed pace, not speaking yet communicating so much to each other. Kakkarrot has had feelings for me ever since I died on Namek. My plea for him to avenge our race broke his already fragile heart. He ended up fighting Frieza for me instead of his wife, son, or anybody else. I, on the other hand, came to realize that my affections for him had been growing since I teamed up with the three of them, also on Namek. He fought with such heart, with such a disregard for his own health. I quietly admired the trait I could not seem to harbor. All these long years, I displaced my feelings just as the need to defeat him, when it was the need to have him. It was the reason I always seemed to arrive at the right time to save him from death. I had even admitted Kakkarrot was mine, just no one noticed the real meaning...including me. We arrived at Kakkarrot's home first, and were greeted by a very concerned Goten.
"Dad! Gohan and I were so worried about you! Why didn't you say you were staying out all night to train?" Kakkarrot walked over to his second son, hugging him gently, then looking back to me fondly.
"I'm sorry Goten, but plans always seem to change when you don't expect them to."
The End