This is a prequel to Tim Burton's version of Dark Shadows, including the deleted scenes that are included on the Blu-Ray Disc. It is also a prequel to my fanfiction Dark Shadows 2, which I am still working on.
I do not own Dark Shadows or any of its characters, institutions, or entities.
Elizabeth's Secret: Chapter 1 "Collinwood's Backyard"
"You know, honey ... everyone in this house has at least one big, scary secret.
Yours can't be all that bad." - Dr. Julia Hoffman to Miss Victoria Winters at the end of Scene 108,
the last deleted scene on the Blu-Ray Disc of Dark Shadows
"Mommy, where's Daddy?
He's been gone for so long.
Is he ever coming home?" - Carolyn Stoddard introducing "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" at the Collinwood Happening,
and Mommy does not look happy about it
"Your devotion to family is admirable, Madam." - Barnabas's 1st words to Elizabeth during their 1st conversation in the drawing room
October 1962
Carolyn Stoddard
Carolyn Stoddard is 5 years old. She hates it when Mommy and Daddy fight. And they are fighting more and more lately. She especially hates it when they fight so bad that Daddy leaves. Sometimes he is gone for hours and comes home smelling and acting funny. Mommy calls it "Drunk."
To Carolyn, the way Daddy smells when he is "drunk" is the worst part. Everyone acted so surprised when they found out she had "supersensitive hearing." Grandpa gave her the nickname "Superears," like Superman. That was the only part she liked. She does not like it that the other kids at kindergarten are now scared of her. So she has kept her "supersensitive nose" (that is what they would call it if they knew, isn't it?) to herself.
Her supersensitive nose is worse than her supersensitive ears because of the Man Smell. Mommy says there are "Things That Ladies Don't Talk About." Carolyn has a feeling that the Man Smell is one of the "Things That Ladies Don't Talk About."
When Mommy takes Carolyn to town to go shopping, they often see bigger boys and girls holding hands. Mommy calls them "teenagers," and she says Carolyn will be a teenager someday and a boy will want to hold Carolyn's hand.
Carolyn has mixed feeling about this. She wants to be bigger, but she is not sure she wants a boy to hold her hand - because every teenager boy holding the hand of a teenager girl has the Man Smell on him. And the teenager girls have the Woman Smell on them.
Lots of men and teenager boys have the Man Smell on them when they look at Mommy, including the teenager boy who checks out their groceries. But Mommy never has the Woman smell on her when she looks at them.
Daddy used to have the Man Smell on him many times when he looked at Mommy. And Mommy had the Woman Smell on her, and the next morning Mommy and Daddy would smile at each other a lot at breakfast, and that would make Carolyn happy.
The same thing happens with Grandpa and Grandma. It used to happen with Mommy and Daddy more than with Grandpa and Grandma. Now it's the other way around, and somehow Carolyn knows it shouldn't be like that.
Daddy often has the Man Smell on him when looking at other women. It has always been that way, but lately he has the Man Smell more and more when looking at other women and less and less when looking at Mommy.
Daddy is the only man in "real life" that Mommy gets the Woman Smell on her when she looks at him. But she gets it when she looks at Tony Curtis in the movies and F-Rim Cymbalist, Jr. on 77 Sunset Strip.
The worst was Uncle Roger and Aunt Laura's wedding. Uncle Roger had the Man Smell on him, and Aunt Laura had the Woman Smell on her, and Carolyn knew this was all right.
But every man in the church had the Man Smell too. It was all right that Grandpa had the Man Smell, because he was holding Grandma's hand and he kept looking at her and smiling. And Grandma had the Woman Smell and smiled back at Grandpa.
But Daddy had the Man Smell and never looked at Mommy. He just kept looking at Aunt Laura.
Carolyn fights it as long as she can. But then Mommy notices her squirming and whispers, "Carolyn, do you need to go to the restroom?"
Carolyn nods and Mommy takes her out to where the "Restrooms" are. Carolyn doesn't understand that name, she has never rested in a Ladies Restroom.
When they get close to the Ladies Restroom, Carolyn can't hold it anymore. She breaks free of Mommy's hand and runs the rest of the way.
Mommy sees that Carolyn does not close the door behind her and is puzzled. "She knows better than that," Mommy thinks.
And then she hears Carolyn retching.
Mommy runs the rest of the way and sees Carolyn bent over the toilet and vomiting like she will never stop.
"Carolyn! My God, Carolyn! What is it? Is it something you ate?" Mommy doubts this, they all had the same breakfast and the same lunch and she feels fine - except she is scared sick for her baby.
Carolyn is 5 now, and she hates it when Mommy calls her, "My baby."
"Water," Carolyn gasps. "Please, Mommy, water."
Mommy turns on the cold faucet and then picks Carolyn up. At age 5, she is nearly too heavy for Mommy to lift. But Mommy must, and so Mommy does.
Carolyn cups her hands under the stream of water. She rinses her mouth and then drinks and drinks. Finally she says, "Thank you, Mommy. You can put me down now."
Mommy puts Carolyn down. Then she wets a paper towel and turns off the water.
Carolyn is sweating and shaking, but her forehead does not feel hot when Mommy touches it with the back of her hand.
"Carolyn, what is it? What's wrong? Lots of people cry at weddings, including me. But this is the first time I've ever seen anyone throw up." She wipes the cool, wet paper towel over Carolyn's forehead and the back of her neck. This, and the fact that Mommy is doing it, make Carolyn feel better.
"We're missing it, Mommy. Please let's go back."
"Are you sure? Are you all right now?"
"Yes, Mommy. If I can sit in your lap."
They go back in and sit down, Carolyn in Mommy's lap. When Mommy puts her arms around her, Carolyn pulls Mommy's hand close to her face, where she can smell the perfume on Mommy's wrist. The perfume and the smell of Mommy herself covers up the Man Smell enough that she gets through the rest of the ceremony.
At the reception, Carolyn eats some wedding cake. But she asks for water instead of punch. She had some punch once, and it was sweet, and that sweet on top of the wedding cake would be too much. She might throw up again. She wishes she could have meat instead of cake.
After the reception, Uncle Roger and Aunt Laura leave on their "honeymoon," another name that Carolyn does not understand. The moon is made of silver cheese (people say it is made of green cheese, but if you look at the moon you can see that it is silver), so how can it be made of honey just because Uncle Roger and Aunt Laura are now married?
The morning after the wedding, Grandma and Grandpa leave to "mend fences" with the stores that Daddy sells fish to. Daddy broke the stores' fences and they won't buy any more fish until Grandma and Grandpa mend the fences. Grandma and Grandpa will be gone for 4 or 5 days.
The grocery stores in Collinsport don't have fences around them. Carolyn doesn't understand why the stores that Daddy sells fish to have fences, or how Daddy broke them. And if Daddy broke the fences, why do Grandma and Grandpa have to mend them?
Carolyn can tell that Mommy is mad about the fences that Daddy broke. Carolyn is afraid that Mommy and Daddy will fight about it. She does not want Daddy to leave and come back smelling drunk.
They do fight. But they put it off until late in the afternoon. Carolyn does not run after Daddy's green Jag-war. She use to run after it, crying, "Daddy! Please stop, Daddy! Come back!" But he never stopped, so she gave up running after him.
Jason McGuire
Jason McGuire sits in the Blue Whale with a drink in his hand. He is just about to introduce himself to a young lady when he hears a vaguely familiar voice cry joyfully, "Jason! Jason McGuire!"
"Shit!" McGuire thinks. "Who the hell is that?" He has never been to Collinsport before, how can anyone here know him? And "Jason McGuire" is not the name he was going to use when he introduced himself to the young lady.
He turns to look, and sees a vaguely familiar face. It takes a few seconds, but then he tells himself, "It's that f***ing fool Paul Stoddard." Aloud he says, "Paul! What the hell are you doing here?"
"I live here! I first came to Collinsport out of curiosity, to see the little fishing village that Charity Trask was always talking about. I met Elizabeth Collins, one of the family the town is named for, and married her. Did you see the big house on the hill overlooking town? That's Collinwood, the Collins ancestral home.
"Elizabeth and I have a five year old daughter, Carolyn. Look, here's a picture of us all." He pulls out his wallet and shows McGuire the family photo they had taken on Carolyn's 5th birthday.
McGuire says, "Wow! Congratulations, Paul. That's a lovely family you've got." On the inside he says to himself, "Especially the little girl."
Aloud, McGuire says, "What a coincidence! I was curious about Charity's little fishing village too. I was in Boston on business. When it was finished, I had some time so I rented a car and drove up here. Hey, did anyone get into Charity's pants before graduation?"
"Oh, hell! Didn't you hear?"
"Hear what?"
"Charity was raped and murdered two months before graduation. They never caught the bastard who did it."
On the outside, McGuire makes the expected sounds of surprise and horror and outrage. On the inside, he is laughing his ass off.
Jason McGuire raped and murdered Charity Trask.
Charity Trask was the best human being the Trask family had produced in centuries. She lived up to her name. The names Faith, Hope, Chastity, and Honor would have been equally appropriate. So would the name Pietas, except Charity would have rejected it because it was pagan.
Charity never dated in high school or in college. Her plan had been to go to college and then to nursing school, and devote the rest of her life to God as a medical missionary.
McGuire thought Charity rejected his advances out of snobbery. It was one thing for her to say "No" when a wimp like Stoddard asked her for a date, but she had no right to say "No" to a MAN like McGuire.
The name Courage would have been appropriate too, as McGuire learned when he kidnapped Charity.
McGuire had returned to campus after 3 years. The place was big enough that it was unlikely anyone would recognize him after an absence of 3 years. But to make sure, he had grown a beard. He had dyed the beard and his hair black and put on a pair of prop spectacles purchased from a theater supply house. He pointed his gun at Charity from inside his modified overcoat and said, "Come with me. If you scream or run, I will kill you."
He was shocked when Charity said, "No. If it is God's will that I die now by your hand, then shoot me and be done with it."
McGuire was shocked, but he adjusted quickly. "OK. I won't kill you. I'll kill them." He tilted his head to show Charity who he meant.
Charity looked in that direction and saw a young professor and his wife. They always took a walk this time of day - pushing their 2 month old son in a baby carriage.
Charity obeyed McGuire.
Charity shocked McGuire again when he raped her and discovered that she really was a virgin. He wondered if all that devotion to God talk of hers was true. She was not his 1st virgin, but she was his 1st college girl. He had reserved that "honor" for her.
When McGuire was finished, he put Charity's body in the trunk of a stolen car and abandoned the car at the airport of a neighboring city. He took a taxi from the airport to downtown, where he stole the 1st car he found with the keys in it. He never had to look very far to find such a car. His most recent such find is the brand new, red Cadillac convertible now parked outside the Blue Whale. He had stolen it in downtown Boston after abandoning another stolen car with another body in the trunk at the Boston airport.
Charity had died in agony to save the lives of the young professor and his wife and their baby. McGuire had pissed on her grave by returning 6 months later to kill them in their home. How he had laughed about that.
Jason McGuire raped and killed Charity Trask. And now he must kill Paul Stoddard for recognizing him. He will enjoy killing Paul. He will enjoy raping and killing Elizabeth and Carolyn even more. They will not be his 1st mother and daughter double event.
Paul and McGuire drink and talk about old times. Paul lies and brags about being a successful salesman for the Collins Canning Company. This goes on until Paul realizes that it is almost time for dinner at Collinwood. He decides to surprise Elizabeth and delight Carolyn by returning home in time for dinner. And just as McGuire expected, Paul invites him home for dinner - and to spend the night at the great house of Collinwood.
Carolyn Stoddard
Carolyn is overjoyed when she hears Daddy's car coming back so early. She runs to the front door and opens it.
Mommy follows slowly.
Carolyn sees Daddy's car coming. She runs toward the circular driveway, but stops short of it. She knows Mommy doesn't want her close to the driveway when a car is moving, so she stops before Mommy can yell at her. There is another car behind Daddy's car, a red car with a roof that goes down just like the roof on Daddy's car. She smiles and waves at Daddy.
But then she sees the man in the red car. She stops smiling and takes a step back. As Daddy and the stranger get out of their cars, the wind shifts. The stranger looks at Carolyn and smiles.
Daddy and the stranger both smell drunk.
Carolyn has often wondered if a man would ever have the Man Smell on him when he looked at her. This man is looking at her and he has the Man Smell on him.
Carolyn runs back to Mommy. She hides behind Mommy and clutches Mommy's dress and peeks around Mommy at Daddy and the stranger. She has never done this before, except the few times in town when they ran into Miss Boo-card (Carolyn thinks that is a funny name, even though she is afraid of Miss Boo-card), and the fewer times they ran into the Grimes Twins.
"Elizabeth, this is Jason McGuire, an old college buddy of mine. I ran into him at the Blue Whale. He came to Colllinsport for the same reason I did, curiosity about Charity Trask's little fishing village. Small world, huh? I invited him to spend the night with us.
"Jason, this is my wife Elizabeth and our daughter Carolyn. Carolyn, don't be shy, come say 'Hello' to Mr. McGuire."
Still clutching Mommy's dress, Carolyn takes a step back, trying to pull Mommy with her. But Mommy stands fast. This is her home and she will not retreat before a stranger, even if Carolyn is afraid of him.
"Pleased to met you, Lizzie," McGuire says, extending his hand.
"Please don't call me 'Lizzie'," Elizabeth replies coldly. She shakes hands with McGuire, she is too polite to refuse that much. But then she says, "Mr. McGuire, I am sorry to be a poor hostess, but I can not allow you to stay the night at Collinwood. You may join us for dinner, but then you must go."
"What the hell, Elizabeth?! Jason is my friend, I invited him."
"Paul, our daughter is not afraid of the dark. She is not afraid of thunder or Nor-Easters. She is not afraid of big barking dogs or wild animals - they are afraid of her. She is not afraid of people, except for Anglelique Bouchard, and the Grimes Twins ... and now Mr. McGuire. I respect her fear, and you should too.
"Mr. McGuire, I'm sorry. I don't know why Carolyn is afraid of you, but she is. I can not and will not be hospitable to you at the cost of frightening Carolyn. I repeat: you may stay for dinner, but then you must go. I suggest you use the telephone to make a reservation at the Collinsport Inn or one of the motels."
Mommy turns half-way around and holds out her hand. "Come, Carolyn."
Carolyn grabs Mommy's hand and they go into the house. Carolyn looks back over her shoulder several times, ready to break loose from Mommy and run if McGuire is too close behind them.
Jason McGuire
McGuire thinks, "Paul is pussy-whipped, I should have known. But the wife and daughter, I'm gonna enjoy them. And this house ... this will be my biggest fire yet."
Dinner is pot roast, but the toughest McGuire has ever chewed. Paul apologizes to him for it. Lizzie chews and chews but says nothing.
But pretty little Carolyn seems to have no trouble with it. She cleans her plate with astounding speed, and then asks Lizzie if she can be excused.
Lizzie is astonished. "Don't you want seconds?"
McGuire thinks, "Seconds? On this shit?"
"No, Mommy. I just want to go to bed."
"Carolyn, are you sick?" She feels Carolyn's forehead.
"No, Mommy."
"All right. You go brush your teeth and put on your night gown. I'll be up in a few minutes."
"Yes, Mommy."
Carolyn goes around the table to kiss her Daddy goodnight.
"How about a a goodnight kiss for me?" McGuire asks, from his chair next to Paul's.
Carolyn runs out of the room, while Lizzie glares at McGuire.
"Fast little bitch," McGuire thinks. He is also puzzled. A little kid who doesn't want desert? A little kid who wants to go to bed early? She really is scared of him. He has no idea how Carolyn knows she should be scared of him, but he will prove her fears justified soon enough.
Lizzie soon finishes her dinner too. Like Carolyn, she does not stick around for desert. She stands and says, "Good-bye, Mr. McGuire."
McGuire thinks, "Before I kill Paul and Lizzie, I gotta find out who the Grimes Twins are. I hope they're identical twin girls. I've never done twins before."
Carolyn Stoddard
Mommy stands beside her kneeling daughter and listens as Carolyn says her prayers.
God bless Mommy and Daddy.
God bless Grandpa and Grandma.
God bless Uncle Roger and Aunt Laura, and please give them a baby I can pretend is my baby brother or baby sister.
Last night was the 1st time Carolyn said, "Aunt Laura" instead of "Miss Laura." Last night was also when she added the part about giving a baby to Roger and Laura. Carolyn doesn't know it, but Mommy had winced at that part, painfully aware that there was less and less of a chance of a real baby brother or baby sister for Carolyn.
God bless Mrs. Johnson and Mr. Willie.
And Carolyn adds some things tonight.
"Please help Grandpa and Grandpa mend the fences Daddy broke. Please bring them home safe and sound.
"And please make Mr. McGuire go away and never come back. Amen."
"Amen," says Mommy. She tucks Carolyn in, tells her a story, and sings "Millicent's Lullaby" to her. Then mother and daughter kiss each other good night and Elizabeth goes back downstairs.
As soon as Mommy is gone, Carolyn gets out of bed and goes to her toybox. She gets her six-shooter. It only shoots caps, not real bullets like Grandpa's six-shooter. But the people on TV sometimes kill people by hitting them on the head with a blunt-instamint, like a gun butt, instead of shooting them with guns or stabbing them with knives. Carolyn does not understand why a gun-butt is called a gun butt. It doesn't look anything like her own butt.
Carolyn's six-shooter is made of steel, so it is hard and heavy, at least by her standards. If Mr. McGuire comes to Carolyn's room, she hill hit him on the head with her blunt-instamint. She gets back into bed, pulls up the covers, and gets a tight grip on the barrel of her six-shooter.
She waits for Daddy to come and kiss her good night. She prays Mr. McGuire does not come with him.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard
Elizabeth finds Paul and McGuire having a drink in the drawing room. Both of them are drunker than when they arrived.
Elizabeth does not put it off. "Mr. McGuire! When I said you must leave after dinner, that did not include an after dinner drink. Good-bye, Mr. McGuire."
"Liz, Jason is my friend. I invited him to spend the night, he's spending the night. Tell Willie to get a room ready."
"And Carolyn is your daughter - your DAUGHTER! You put her first, or you are not fit for her to call you 'Daddy' ."
It goes downhill from there. And even though the immediate cause of this argument is a new one for Elizabeth and Paul, it quickly goes into a well worn rut.
As usual, there comes a point when Elizabeth wants to slap Paul. Whenever she feels like this, she looks for something else for her hand to do. This time, she picks up the poker to stir up the fire, even though it doesn't need stirring.
And then Paul makes one crack too many about Elizabeth's parents.
Elizabeth spins around and swings the poker backhanded at the right side of Paul's head. She tries to "pull her punch" at the last second, but it is too late. The poker hits Paul in the right temple. He drops his drink and falls to the floor.
For the 1st time in her life, Elizabeth panics. She runs from the room. As she runs, she hears McGuire laughing.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard
When Elizabeth reaches the room she shares with Paul, she paces the floor and cries and asks herself, "What do I do now?"
She has to call the police of course. And they will arrest her, and she will disgrace her family ... and McGuire will come back to Collinsport to testify at her trial. Even if she pleads guilty to avoid a trial, he can still come back whenever he chooses and wait for a chance to rape Carolyn.
"Maine has no death penalty," she tells herself. "The most I can get is life imprisonment. I only have one lifetime to give for my baby, so I will give it for killing McGuire as well as Paul.
"Carolyn will hate me for killing her Daddy. Maybe she will forgive me if I kill McGuire too."
Elizabeth opens her wardrobe and looks at her shotgun. "No," she tells herself. "There's a better way." She grabs her keys from her purse and steps into the hall.
At age 5, Carolyn is still in a room on the main hall. She will not insist on moving into the tower room until puberty hits, with unexpected side effects.
Elizabeth slowly opens the door of Carolyn's room. Carolyn is asleep, her breathing slow and regular. Elizabeth closes the door and goes to her parents' room.
Carolyn is not asleep. She learned long ago how to make her breathing slow and regular, even when she is wide awake and tears are trickling out of her eyes.
In her parents' room, Elizabeth unlocks her father's desk. Mr. Collins entrusted his daughter with copies of all of his keys when she was only 12. He has yet to entrust his son with any, except the front door. She takes Dad's revolver from the top right drawer. It is a .32 Colt New Police, a model so old that it has the hard rubber grips with the name "COLT" in an oval at the top of them.
The Colt will make less noise and less of a mess than Elizabeth's shotgun. Elizabeth wants less noise because of Carolyn's Superears. She wants less of a mess because Willie and Mrs. Johnson will have to clean it up when the police are finished.
Elizabeth swings out the cylinder to check if the pistol is loaded - it is, as always. She leaves her keys on the desk, she will not need them ever again, and heads back to the drawing room.
Jason McGuire
Elizabeth enters the drawing room with the intention of simply shooting McGuire - 3 shots in the heart and 3 more in the head to be sure - and then calling the police to report both killings. But then she notices that Paul's body is gone.
She points the pistol at McGuire's face and asks, "Where's the body?"
McGuire is silent for a few seconds. Then he says, "I carried it out to his car, put it in the trunk. For $10,000 and ... a little personal attention ... I'll drive the car off the end of the boat ramp in Collinsport. Then I'll go away and you'll never see me again." He never takes his eyes off the gun in Elizabeth's hand.
Now it is Elizabeth who does not speak for a few seconds. "What do you mean 'personal attention' ?"
"It's getting late and I've had a few drinks. It'll be even later when we get back from the boat ramp."
"We?"
"I'll be taking enough of a chance driving Paul's car to the boat ramp in my current condition. I shouldn't try to drive to a motel after that. So I drive Paul's car, you follow in yours and then drive me back here for that personal attention."
"I repeat, what do you mean 'personal attention' ?"
To Elizabeth, McGuire says, "A night in bed with you, of course." To himself he says, "The first of many nights in bed with you ... and later with your pretty little girl."
Elizabeth stares at him for a long time. Then she says, "It's a deal. I'll write you a check."
"No check! It has to be cash."
"We don't keep that kind of cash in the house. I'll go to the bank with you tomorrow, so they will not give you any trouble about cashing it. And if we get caught, I want to be sure you go down with me. The cancelled check will be proof that I paid you for ... something. It'll be my word, the word of a Collins, against yours that I paid you to dump Paul's body."
McGuire thinks, "This is too easy. Even with the bank, this is too easy. I thought she would try to Jew me down on the price, that she would say OK to the money but no to the f***ing. But it will be OK when I get the gun away from her." Aloud he says, "It's a deal. Why don't you put the gun down?"
"On the desk, when I write the check. But first ... " With her left hand, Elizabeth picks up the poker and returns it to its place, in the front of the wood bin to the right of the fire place. Still using her left hand, she reaches into the wood bin, picks up a small log, and throws it on the fire. She reaches for a 2nd log. The gun is still in her right hand, and her back is completely turned to McGuire.
McGuire is drunk, but that has never interfered with his ability to beat up a woman. "I will just have to be a little careful until I get the gun," he thinks. "I will have to do something special with that gun to punish Eliz-a-bitch for pointing it at me. When I'm finished with Carolyn, I will f*** her to death with the gun and make Eliz-a-bitch watch."
McGuire rises slowly from the sofa, still holding his drink. He might need to throw it at Elizabeth. He takes one short, silent step toward Elizabeth, and then a 2nd. He raises his foot to take the 3rd step.
Elizabeth throws the 2nd log onto the fire. She picks up a 3rd log. She picks up this one by the end instead of the middle. And then she turns halfway around and throws the log backhanded into McGuire's face. She heard the old sofa creak when McGuire stood up. She was waiting for that creak.
The log is a very small one and it startles McGuire even more than it hurts him. He yelps and staggers back a step. The next thing he sees, and the last thing he sees, blurred by eyes that are watering with pain, is Elizabeth with the poker in her left hand, raised over her head. Then the poker slams into the top of his head.
McGuire drops his drink.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard
The 1st blow drives McGuire down to his knees. The 2nd blow lays him out on the stone floor. Elizabeth continues hitting McGuire's head until she feels his skull cave in, then 3 more times to be sure.
Elizabeth's father had taught her, "If you ever have to defend yourself with some kind of a club, don't stop swinging it until the enemy's brains are dripping off the end of it." She had thought about that advice many times, and had come to the conclusion that dripping brains would be pretty messy. She had decided that once the skull gave way, every blow after that would be like hitting the brain itself. She had spoken to her father about it, and he had agreed with her.
The gun was pointed at McGuire's belly during the 1st blow, with Elizabeth's finger on the trigger and ready to pull it if McGuire had blocked the poker.
Elizabeth shoves the poker deep into the fire, to burn off every trace of hair and skin and blood, both Paul's and McGuire's. Then she turns to the corpse and speaks to it.
"You ignorant piece of shit. The water at the end of the Collinsport boat ramp is only four feet deep at mean low water. At spring tide, even a low car like the Jaguar would be clearly visible. But thank you for reminding me that Collinwood's backyard is the Atlantic Ocean."
NOTES
A. Tim Burton's version of Dark Shadows was a Warner Brothers Picture. 77 Sunset Strip (1958-1964) was a Warner Brothers Television Production, starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. Both 77 Sunset Strip and the original Dark Shadows were broadcast by ABC.
B. The line, "If you ever have to defend yourself with some kind of a club, don't stop swinging it until the enemy's brains are dripping off the end of it," is paraphrased from The Revengers (1982), one of the Matt Helm novels by Donald Hamilton.
C. The name "spring tide" is a misnomer. Spring tide occurs at the full moon and new moon of every month, regardless of season.