X-Men: The Evil Election
Everyone is having one hell of a time with election 2000, and not in a good way. The only
people who are actually having fun with it are comedians. Well, most super heroes voted for
Gore. Let's face it, New York is a democratic state. There is, however, one group of super
heroes who hate Gore beyond belief. They are the X-Men. Let's look deeper into this!
It's been two weeks after the election, and Professor X is sitting by a computer with
Cerebro on. Prof. X is mumbling to himself, "Wanna put a tax on all mutant fighting gear that
my X-Men need, do ya? Wanna put a tax on being a mutant, do ya? I'll kill you Gore! When
I'm through with you, you'll... Holly $#!%." Xavier stops mumbling and sends out a mental
message out to the X-Men. X-Men, come quick!
Suddenly, Wolverine barges in with a cigar in his mouth, while mumbling, "An adamantium
owners tax! A leather costume tax! Damn, I'll have look lake a *@›&# clown, mutant again!"
While Wolverine is mumbling this, Prof. X says, "Magneto has taken over the White House."
Wolverine grunts then looks up. "The White House? Yeah, I'll kill 'm." Wolverine then runs out
of the room.
A moment later Cyclops, Storm, Gambit, and Iceman run in. Cyclops askes, "Where's
Wolverine?" Iceman then whacks Cyclops over the head with his hand. "I just had to do that!
Anyway, where's Wolverine?" Cyclops then blasts Iceman with the ray from his eye... I mean
eyes.
While that was going on, Wolverine took the Blackbird over to the White House. It got there
very quickly because it's so frickn' fast. You can't fight crime without something that gets you
places fast! Especially if you fight evil mutants around the world. Anyway, Wolverine killed the
guards and went in.
By then Iceman was up and beating on Cyclops. He then froze Cyclops's whole body and
left it. Storm used her powers to control the wind and had it carry everyone to the White
House. Everyone but Cyclops, of course.
While Wolverine was plowing down guys he came across Spider-Man crawling on the
ceiling. "Hey Spidey," Wolverine called. "What are you doing here? Come to kill Gore, too?"
"Well, Gore wants to put a tax on my webbing and... Well, I'm not the killing type of man,
anyway. Well, uhhh... Well, maybe just this once," Spidey said. "That's the spirit!" Wolverine
exclaimed.
Wolverine and Spider-Man broke down to door to the Oval Office. There they saw
Magneto floating in front of Bill Clinton and Al Gore, who both were held up against a wall.
Wolverine then held up his fists with the claws out a lunged at him. Gore that is. He tore Gore
from the wall and started shredding him into thousands of tiny pieces.
While Wolverine was working on that, Spider-Man was having a nice little conversation
with Bill. Bill was saying, "Yeah, of course I've heard of Mary Jane Parker. I met her actually!
I shagged her. I shagged her rotten, Spidey, yeah!" "What?!" Spider-Man yelled. "You
sonofa..." Spidey tore Clinton from the wall and started beating on him. Storm, Gambit,
Iceman, and Magneto all stood smiling and watching the two. "To bad Cyclops and Prof. X
aren't here. I wonder what they're doing," Iceman wondered.
Back at the mansion Prof. X sat over Cyclops's frozen body with a chisel. He took a
hammer and started chiseling Cyclops. Cyclops's body then fell apart. "Whoops!" Prof. X
said. "Oh well. This truly is a happy day." Then he went back into Iceman's head using his
powers, watching everything Iceman saw!
Hmmm... Screwy, ain't it?
[Note: The idea for this story came from the new GameBoy Color game X-Men: Mutant Wars. There is a level whre you have to go through the White House to get to Magnito!]
Everyone is having one hell of a time with election 2000, and not in a good way. The only
people who are actually having fun with it are comedians. Well, most super heroes voted for
Gore. Let's face it, New York is a democratic state. There is, however, one group of super
heroes who hate Gore beyond belief. They are the X-Men. Let's look deeper into this!
It's been two weeks after the election, and Professor X is sitting by a computer with
Cerebro on. Prof. X is mumbling to himself, "Wanna put a tax on all mutant fighting gear that
my X-Men need, do ya? Wanna put a tax on being a mutant, do ya? I'll kill you Gore! When
I'm through with you, you'll... Holly $#!%." Xavier stops mumbling and sends out a mental
message out to the X-Men. X-Men, come quick!
Suddenly, Wolverine barges in with a cigar in his mouth, while mumbling, "An adamantium
owners tax! A leather costume tax! Damn, I'll have look lake a *@›&# clown, mutant again!"
While Wolverine is mumbling this, Prof. X says, "Magneto has taken over the White House."
Wolverine grunts then looks up. "The White House? Yeah, I'll kill 'm." Wolverine then runs out
of the room.
A moment later Cyclops, Storm, Gambit, and Iceman run in. Cyclops askes, "Where's
Wolverine?" Iceman then whacks Cyclops over the head with his hand. "I just had to do that!
Anyway, where's Wolverine?" Cyclops then blasts Iceman with the ray from his eye... I mean
eyes.
While that was going on, Wolverine took the Blackbird over to the White House. It got there
very quickly because it's so frickn' fast. You can't fight crime without something that gets you
places fast! Especially if you fight evil mutants around the world. Anyway, Wolverine killed the
guards and went in.
By then Iceman was up and beating on Cyclops. He then froze Cyclops's whole body and
left it. Storm used her powers to control the wind and had it carry everyone to the White
House. Everyone but Cyclops, of course.
While Wolverine was plowing down guys he came across Spider-Man crawling on the
ceiling. "Hey Spidey," Wolverine called. "What are you doing here? Come to kill Gore, too?"
"Well, Gore wants to put a tax on my webbing and... Well, I'm not the killing type of man,
anyway. Well, uhhh... Well, maybe just this once," Spidey said. "That's the spirit!" Wolverine
exclaimed.
Wolverine and Spider-Man broke down to door to the Oval Office. There they saw
Magneto floating in front of Bill Clinton and Al Gore, who both were held up against a wall.
Wolverine then held up his fists with the claws out a lunged at him. Gore that is. He tore Gore
from the wall and started shredding him into thousands of tiny pieces.
While Wolverine was working on that, Spider-Man was having a nice little conversation
with Bill. Bill was saying, "Yeah, of course I've heard of Mary Jane Parker. I met her actually!
I shagged her. I shagged her rotten, Spidey, yeah!" "What?!" Spider-Man yelled. "You
sonofa..." Spidey tore Clinton from the wall and started beating on him. Storm, Gambit,
Iceman, and Magneto all stood smiling and watching the two. "To bad Cyclops and Prof. X
aren't here. I wonder what they're doing," Iceman wondered.
Back at the mansion Prof. X sat over Cyclops's frozen body with a chisel. He took a
hammer and started chiseling Cyclops. Cyclops's body then fell apart. "Whoops!" Prof. X
said. "Oh well. This truly is a happy day." Then he went back into Iceman's head using his
powers, watching everything Iceman saw!
Hmmm... Screwy, ain't it?
[Note: The idea for this story came from the new GameBoy Color game X-Men: Mutant Wars. There is a level whre you have to go through the White House to get to Magnito!]