I Will Remember

This is set in the same AU as Meet in the Middle...and is dedicated to all who suffer from diseases such as Dementia and Alheimers, and to their caregivers who can never be thanked enough. It is unbeta'd so...any mistakes are definitely my own.

Tissue warning

The wind was blowing gently through the yellow, orange and brownish Autumn leaves. There were some that were showing signs of actually breaking away from the firm branches that had been their home since Spring. Normally, Christine loved this time of the year. However, as she walked onto the verandah, she couldn't help but sigh…as she saw Nick standing in the far corner of the verandah looking over the landscape, as if he was waiting for someone. It broke her heart, as she knew what was going on.

Where had the past fifty years went to? So much had happened since the day they met at the river, both intending to end their lives.

"I'm not leaving." Nick stood, his feet planted on the bank of the river and his arms folded as he looked upon the beautiful woman with tears running down her face. She'd just yelled at him to leave her alone-as she wanted to die alone, not with any prying eyes. "You're so young. Why on earth do you want to end it all?" The moment he asked the age, the irony of it hit him square in the chest. Though, he wasn't about admit that one at the moment.

"None of your business," she growled as she snapped, and then made the mistake of saying unless he knew what true hell was he had no business talking to her.

"I know plenty about that place!" Nick unfolded his arms and took a hold of hers, though he made sure his grip wasn't so tight as to hurt her. His eyes spit fire as he, without half thinking, told her everything. By the time he was through, and his hands had released her arms, Christine felt as if her jaw might as well be on the ground.

"I…I'm sorry f..for all your losses, guess I've forgotten to stop and remember I'm not the only one who is acquainted with loss. Pretty childish on my part, I suppose. I mean, like my mother used to say…'If one takes time to look, they'll always find someone in the same boat-or a worse one.' " Christine stammered as she joined Nick, who had sat down on the bank and had his eyes on the flowing water.

Nick took a deep breath-chastising himself for losing control and talking like he had. "What have you lost?" he asked quietly.

Christine shuddered and drew in long breath. "My mother, when I was fifteen. Two of my brothers during the war-Father blames me for that-as do my other two brothers. Disowned me the day they received word the word my second brother had been killed at Shiloh—probably didn't help that we'd only learned of my other brother's death a few days before; he died from sickness."

"Why disown you? Do they blame you?" Nick interrupted. He was confused and didn't like that.

"Yes, because I told them not to be afraid to stand up and fight for what they believed…even if it wasn't what the rest of us believed in. Truth is, my deceased brothers were in the Confederate army. Father hated that, told me that I divided his house."

Nick didn't say anything for a moment, and then asked her to continue. "What else have you lost?"

"My husband…he died at Gettysburg." Christine put her hand over her mouth for a moment. When she removed it, she shocked Nick by telling him she'd married at thirteen. "Had three babies, but none of them lived over six months. Daddy blames me for that too-said I must have not been taking care of them like I said I was." The anger and hurt in her voice could be heard loud and clear. "The night I left the only town I'd ever known? That was the night Daddy got drunk and started hitting on me. Tried to do the unthinkable too." She smirked, "Don't know what he was thinking after I grabbed a knife and planted into his leg, but I don't care. It got me out of there!"

For a few minutes, the only sounds that could be heard was an occasional chirping of a bird, or the movement of some small-unseen, animal. Then, slowly, the two began talking more about the war, the families who had disowned them, and the families they'd lost.

"I do have an infant daughter back at the Myers." Nick finally confessed, ashamed he'd been willing to leave her upbringing to strangers. I think I best go back and do right by her. What about you? How did you wind up in Wyoming?"

Christine shrugged her shoulders. "Can't even rightly say how I wound up here, just knew I wanted to get as far away from my family as I could. But," she wiped a tear away from her eyes. "I've got nothing left and nowhere to go."

"Yes, you do, Sis." Nick stood up and held out her hand. "You have a brother who is more than willing to claim you, and I know people in Laramie who need some help. They'll have a room for you."

"It's getting late, John." Christine, who had switched to calling her husband by the nickname she'd given him after they'd first met as his condition had grown worse. "You need to come inside. You'll catch cold."

"You're acting like a mother hen, Sissy. You'll have the Myers and the others talking."

"Let people talk." Christine guided Nick back into the house. "You need to rest."

Nick looked around the Billiard room and found himself angry…and scared. He'd just talked about the Myers, but this wasn't their home-it wasn't the home he lived in. "Something's wrong with me, Sissy. I know what, but I don't." He looked at the woman who meant so much to him. "There's more that I can't remember. What if I forget you?"

It was all Christine could do to smile as she heard the fear in his voice. Lovingly, she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked out of the Billiard room and down the hallway. "It's okay, John. Don't worry. I'll remember for both of us; I'll always remember."