How to Be Sure

by callmeRy

It's been twelve years since Beca ran off from her home town. Suddenly, a phone call from one of the people she left behind pushes her to go back and deal with her past face on. How will it go? Read to find out. Ps. English isn't my first language. Sorry in advance for grammatical, tenses, and structure mistakes.

Hey, folks :)

Another short one. Unusually, this time I write the AN by the end of the story.

I don't own Pitch Perfect, or the songs, and the characters.

Just a heads up, Beca doesn't go to Barden at all in this story. But, hope you enjoy :)

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It's in the middle of the night, and my phone is ringing repeatedly.

"Urgh." I groan and grab the said thing on the nightstand. Without opening my eyes, I pick up and mumble, "The fuck is this about that it can't wait until morning?"

"Beca..."

The voice is quite familiar, but I'm not sure. One thing is clear though; that person is definitely crying. I roll to lie on my back and unsurely ask, "Who is this?"

"Come home, Beca."

Suddenly, I'm so awake, and my eyes go wide. I finally know who it is. "Em?" I'm more confused than shocked. "How did you get my number?"

"Beca... dad... he just passed away."

Even though he's not really a part of my life anymore, my chest tightened. I exhales through my mouth and ask, "When? What happened?"

"Yesterday. Heart attack. It happened so fast."

"Oh." It's the only thing I can say.

Maybe it's from hearing my voice, the woman lying next to me wakes up. She rubs my chest and mumbles, "Hey, what's wrong?"

I certainly can't answer her yet, and I just remain silent.

"The funeral is in three days." Emily, my stepsister cries out. "Come home, Beca. For me and mom. Please."

There's a reason I can't answer her instantly. "I..." I sigh deeply and swallow hard. "I'll call you again in the morning."

"Please, Beca."

Without saying anything, I just turn off the phone.

The woman next to me, my girlfriend obviously, who has red hair, rubs my chest and cups my cheek with one hand. "What's wrong, Babe?" She asks worriedly. "Who was it?"

Maybe this is how it feels like to be shocked. I can't talk, and I can't even think. For about five minutes, I can only look into her blue eyes.

The understanding yet also worried look coming from her somehow help me coming back to the reality gradually. It takes a while for me to compose myself until I can mutter, "It's Emily. She told me that... Warren just passed away from a heart attack."

"Oh." She's taken aback for a second. Then she sighs deeply, looking at me sympathetically as she says, "I'm sorry to hear that."

The only thing I can do is nodding weakly.

My girlfriend holds me tightly from aside and presses her lips onto my temple. "It's okay, Babe. I know you're sad. He's your dad after all."

Without saying anything, I turn on my side and nuzzle my face onto her chest. I'm not crying or anything. I'm not even sure if I'm sad. But I can feel somekind of hole in my chest. It's suffocating and heavy.

After a while, I turn to lie on my back, and she lies half on top of me. She's still not saying anything but caressing my head gently.

With my eyes fixed on the ceiling, I say, "Em said that the funeral is in three days. Should I go?"

"Do you want to go?" She asks softly.

I huff out a long steady breath and shake my head. "I don't know. Maybe. And you know that he's not the only reason I never go back to that town."

Even though I'm not looking at her, I can hear her sighing deeply.

"Chloe." She says.

"Yea." I say in barely a whisper. "Chloe. I don't know how to face her. And it's been a very long time."

I can hear her sighing again. "How do you feel about it?"

"About what, Scarlett?" I'm still not looking at her. "About going to a man I used to call dad's funeral, or about a huge possibility of meeting the woman I left behind after all these years?"

"Both."

I huff again and say, "I'm not sure."

"Then go." She says softly without any hesitation.

Feeling taken aback, I look at her with my eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

I don't know how she can do it, but she seems calm when she says, "So you can be sure. The options are only between not ever be sure, or making sure yourself. And I think, it's better that you rip the bandaid off soon. In fact, it's way long past overdue, don't you think?"

She must see through how hesitate I am, because she smiles and patiently says, "Baby, it's been more than a decade. And if you're still not okay by running away from your past, maybe it's time for you to run back and face it head on."

Knowing that she's most likely right, I look up at the ceiling again and say, "Fine. I'll go to Maine. But uh..." I steal a quick nervous glance at her.

As usual, she can always read me like an open book. "I'll go with you." She says softly.

"You will?" I look at her with wide eyes.

With a smile so fond, she replies, "Of course."

I smile in relief and kiss her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." She says before pulling away and grabs her phone. "I'll book us two tickets to Maine for this afternoon, and I will text Dad that you have a family emergency."

"Okay." I get up from the bed and put on some clothes. Then I grab a pack of cigarette from my closet and head to the balcony to smoke.

Scarlett doesn't like it when I smoke, but old habit is hard to die. Therefore, after having so many fights about it, we agreed to compromise. I'm allowed to smoke 4 sticks of cigarette at the most in a day, and it was half from my usual nicotine fix. It's been more than three years since we compromised about my smoking habit. Gradually, I lessened the cigarettes, and since two years ago, I barely smoked one pack a week.

"Babe?" She calls just as I'm about to open the glass door to the balcony.

"Huh?" I turn my head aside to look at her.

"Two max." She says without looking up from the phone.

It seems like she has found out my intention for going outside. I simply chuckle and say, "Yes ma'am." Then I proceed walking out to the balcony. With my elbows on the railings, I light up a cig and smoke deeply. I let it out of my mouth naturally, and inhale it back through my nose before I huff out the rest of it through my mouth again.

It's nearly dawn, and it's quite chilly outside, especially since I'm only wearing a tank top and a pair of shortpants. But it sure feels nice to feel the breeze on my bare skin. I simply look at the pale blue sky, thinking back to the time I left my hometown nearly twelve years ago.

I was only eight years old when my mom died on an accident. I didn't quite understand death at that age. All I knew was, Dad coming home, crying his eyes out while hugging me.

"Beca..." He cried. "Beca, I'm so sorry."

"What is it, dad?" I asked him in confusion. "Did you eat my ice cream again, old man? Don't worry. I'll ask Mom to get me another tub."

"Mom..." He sobbed. "Sh- she got into an accident, a- and she didn't make it."

Still, I didn't get it. "What does it mean?"

He pulled back and grabbed my arms. I could see that he was trying to compose himself when he said, "Mom is gone, Beca... She's not coming back..."

Right then, I started crying. "But why?" I sobbed. "I didn't do anything wrong, Dad. I- I did my homework... and I've finished the chores..."

With a bitter smile on his teary face, he kissed my forehead and said, "It's not your fault, champ. Mom... God loves her way too much, and he took her back to heaven."

Even though I didn't quite understand about how God and heaven worked, I didn't ask anything. I just cried and cried, and then Warren took me into my bedroom and laid me down on the bed. We cried together to sleep that night.

The next morning, my childhood best friend, Chloe, she came to my house. I tried to be strong in front of her. When she asked me if I was okay, I nodded with my jaw clenched. Even though I tried so hard not to cry, the stupid water still streamed down my face. With the back of my hand, I wiped it quickly along with the snot coming out of my nose. I knew she understood though, because she just lost her nana. Therefore, I simply let her hug me tightly.

Over times, I was okay again. Chloe had the most part of making me okay again. Moreover, Warren became more attentive to me. Everything I asked for, I got. Everything.

Only a year after mom died, Warren brought another woman home; Sheila. She had a four year old daughter named Emily. It took a while, but I finally could accept them. Sheila and Emily were nice and kind. I was taken care of more than better, and Warren seemed to be happier. A year later, Warren got married with Sheila.

Everything was going fine. When I was fifteen, I told Chloe that I liked her more than I liked my other friends. I told her that she might be my first love. We started dating by then.

So, I got the most wonderful and beautiful girlfriend, got the coolest father ever, got the kindest stepmother, and got the cutest little sister.

Life couldn't be more amazing.

Until my 18th birthday.

That day was... a full messy drama. I had a fight with Chloe because I was overly jealous with Tom. He was our classmate, and he was clearly interested with my girlfriend. We'd had so many fights about it, especially since they were in the same theater club in high school. I knew that Chloe's reason made sense, that she couldn't stop anyone from liking her, and as long as she didn't feel the same, I shouldn't worry.

However, me being the jealous egg head, I punched Tom that day. I saw him with Chloe after class, standing too close to each other in my taste near the lockers, whispering about something, and I just couldn't help it. I sprinted my way to them, and swung my left hook onto his nose.

No need to say, I broke his nose, and Chloe was beyond furious. While helping Tom to get up, she snapped out that he was helping her to prepare a surprise party for me that night. I was taken aback, but when I wanted to apologize, my girlfriend told me to get out of their way.

I went home angry but also regretful. What I hadn't known was, Warren also had a surprise for me. He thought I was old enough to know the truth that had been eating him up since the day my mom died. He sat me down and told me the whole truth, hoping that after almost a decade being fine with mom's death, I could've understood.

Warren told me that mom died on an accident after finding out that he had been cheating on her. The woman he cheated with was Sheila, and Emily was their daughter. It means, he had been cheating on Mom for years before her death. Since I was only three or four years old supposedly. Mom was so upset that she went to a bar to drink, and she was drunk driving when she crossed the red light. She didn't even make it to the hospital.

Never in my life have I ever felt more betrayed. Even until now. I was so furious, thinking about his love to me was only a compensation for his mistake, about how his incapability to keep it in his pants cost me my mother's life.

I couldn't say anything but staring at him with angry tears in my eyes, and then I ran into my bedroom. When everybody were asleep that night, I packed my bag, taking all of my savings and the bank account mom left for me. My first thought was going to Chloe's place. However, remembering the fight earlier that day, I just became more furious. So, I just took off without saying any words to anybody.

I didn't know where to go. All I knew was that I didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore, or with the town where my life was just ruined. I took the bus, and somehow, I ended up in LA. With all of the savings and the money from mom, I was able to manage for a while. I lived in a cheap motel, and I ate the cheapest food so I could buy booze every night to numb the pain.

However, money ran out so vastly in LA, especially when you didn't work at all, yet you were also nourishing drinking and smoking habit. Fortunately, when I was on the rope, I went to Mr. Nichols's bar. He was bartending that night, and he listened to my drunk ass rambling about my shitty life.

That night, Mr. Nichols brought me back to his house, and his wife took care of me. The next day, I apologized profusely. Then he offered me a job as a waitress in his bar, and let me stay in the loft above the bar. He said that he had a daughter who was two years younger than me, but she was studying overseas since high school. If I were his daughter, he wouldn't have just let her wandering on the street.

The only condition he asked for was, I had to lessen the amount of alcohol and cigarettes I was consuming in daily life. I agreed and did what he told me to. One pack for two days was my limit, and I didn't drink at all when I was working.

I've been working for him ever since. After a couple of months being a waitress, he taught me to mix liquors, and promoted me to be a bartender. Two years later, I'd saved enough money to buy DJ-ing gears, and I took a course to be a professional DJ. It wasn't hard at all for me because I'd been mixing music since middle school with my laptop.

Then I started DJ-ing at some clubs on my night off. I also had a day work. As long as it could pay the bill, I'd do almost everything. Well, prostitution and breaking the law were my line. Didn't want to cause any trouble to the kind couple who took me in.

Surprisingly, it all worked out. I earned more than enough only from DJ-ing at middle class clubs twice a week and bartending tips. In fact, I only needed a little from my earnings to survive in daily life since I didn't have to pay any rent, and mostly, Mrs. Nichols would send food for me to the bar. She also taught me how to manage my money well so I didn't spend it all only for booze and women.

I never look back, and I never thought about going back home either. I never opened up to anybody else though. I just worked as much as I could, had so many one night stands, and never let anybody in.

Well, until I met Scarlett. Although, three years ago, I saw Warren near Mr. Nichols's bar. I was on my way out with Scarlett for a date. But when I saw him, I just walked back into the bar without saying anything. Never seen him again ever since.

Suddenly, I feel a pair of arms sneak around my torso from behind. It pulls me out of my memory lane and makes me smile.

"Have you done trying to wreck your heart and lungs?" Scarlett mumbles with her lips on the back of my shoulder. She loves kissing the flower tattoo on my back, and I love it when she's doing it.

I chuckle and say, "Almost."

Then we remain silent. I'm still finishing smoking, and she's still pressing her lips onto the back of my shoulder. After I flick the cigarette butt out of my fingers, I turn around and sneak my arms around her waist. She automatically moves her hands onto my shoulders.

Just as I'm about to kiss her lips, she pulls back and says with a teasing smirk by the corner of her lips, "No kissing my lips with your smokey mouth, Mitchell."

I chuckle and tighten my arms around her. Then I lean forward to kiss her lips anyway. She seems to have predicted it already, and she sucks her teeth so I can't kiss her. However, I wouldn't be Beca Mitchell if I couldn't find my way around a woman.

Gently, I nip her jawline, brushing just the tip of my tongue on the skin under her ear, and then nibble her earlobe in between my lips.

"You're not playing fair, Mitchell." She says through a heavy breathing with her hands on the back of my head.

I pull back to look at her. She's shivering, and her eyes are closed. With a smirk on my face, I say, "Never said I would."

When I lean closer to kiss her slightly parted lips, she grasps the hair on the back of my head and pulls me backward gently. Then she leans forward and whispers over my ear, "I'm not easy to nail, Mitchell. If you want this..." She licks my earlobe and bites it gently, and my eyes roll back. Then she continues with husky voice, "You need to be smoke free."

I'm still shivering down my spine, and she uses that chance to run back into the loft. Then she closes the glass door. Upon seeing her sticking out her tongue playfully at me, I simply chuckle and shake my head.

Feeling lighter than fifteen minutes ago, I walk back into the room and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, blow my nose, and wash my face. After making sure that I'm smoke free, I walk out of the bathroom.

Scarlett is lying on the bed with her eyes closed. So, I jump and dive onto the bed to cage her in my arms. With me lying half on top of her, she squeals and laughs loudly.

"Here." I press my lips all over her face and neck playfully, saying in between kisses, "I, am, smoke, free, now, fussy, girlfriend. Can, I, hump, your, fussy, ass, now?"

She's still laughing when she wiggles her arms out of mine and grabs my face. "Let me be the judge." She says with a teasing smirk. "Stay still."

I do as she says.

She pulls my face closer to hers and hovers her nose over my lips. Then she licks the corner of my lips with just the tip of her tongue, trailing it on my upper lip so gently. A heavy breathing escapes from my slightly parted lips as I close my eyes.

When she nips my bottom lip, I can feel the electrical sensation travel down to the bottom of my spine and into my core. When she bites and pulls my bottom lip so gently with her teeth, I can feel my blood rushing faster in my vein.

"You're free to kiss me now." She whispers.

I growl from my throat and lean downward to capture her lips with mine. After we're done doing each other the favor, she falls asleep.

With a decent distance between us, I just lie on my side and look at her face. Unlike any other couples, we're not big in hugging each other when we're going to sleep.

There's a reason for that. She kicks in her sleep, and I talk in my sleep. When her kicking became too much, I would move to sleep on the couch. On the other hand, when my talking in the sleep became too loud, she would kick me off the bed, and I would move to sleep on the couch. The beauty of compromising.

One time, after she kicked me off the bed, I climbed back up and hugged her tightly, knowing fully how she felt suffocated for being hugged in her sleep.

With her eyes closed, she shoved me away and mumbled, "Go away."

When I didn't back down, she kicked me off the bed again, and I laughed my ass off on the floor before getting back up on my side of the bed.

After she woke up, she hugged me from behind, and I laced our fingers on my stomach automatically.

"How's your butt cheeks?" She mumbled on the back of my shoulder.

"Uneven now." I smiled with my eyes closed. "I'm much less hot now. You just cost the world the most perfect butt cheeks in the entire universe."

"It's okay." She said with a mocked sympathetic tone. "I don't mind your less perfect uneven butt cheeks. I'm kind of stuck with you anyway."

I chuckled, "You have to take responsibility for doing so. Now that you've made my butt cheeks uneven, no other women would want to have sex with me anymore. You know that my round and even butt is my selling point."

She nuzzled her nose into the curve of my neck and mumbled, "I will take a full responsibility for what I did to your butt cheeks, whiny dumb-uneven-ass."

Then I laughed, and she laughed, and we kissed, and then we had sex.

Anyway, since I found out her unusual sleeping habit, every time I was watching her sleeping, I always put a decent space between us.

Right now, I can feel it in the way I smile and in my warm chest as I watch her sleeping face; I love her so fucking much.

I've known her for seven years now. The beginning of our relationship was kind of funny actually. I was already working at the same bar for five years when I met Scarlett; the boss's only child.

She just finished her business degree in Germany, and she came back to help her father starting a club. I asked to chip in with the little savings I had from DJ-ing around and the bartending tips for five years. Luckily, Mr. Nichols let me, and he gave me 20% shares of the new club. It was more than generous, and I was more than thankful. I owe him and his wife my life.

Back to Scarlett. From the first time we met, she hated my snarky arrogant gut. Not love hate, but hate hate. She hated how dark and snarky I always seemed to be all the time. She hated how easily I spoke any women into spending the night with me. She hated how easier it was for me to dump those same women in the morning. She hated the ear piercings. She hated the way I smirked. She hated how cocky I was because I told her that I could get into her pants just anytime if I wanted to. She hated me for smoking, and uh... I think she hated me in everything I did. That just made me happily teasing her every time she was at the club and the bar.

A year after we knew each other, nothing had changed. She still hated me, and I still loved teasing her. Then one night, when I was bartending, she came to the bar and drank out of her body weight. I didn't know why, but she ended up spoiling her gut to me. Not literally. She told me the reason she got drunk that night.

Turned out, she found out that her boyfriend, who had already been in a relationship with her for almost a year, cheated on her. I didn't enjoy listening to her. I mean, a woman hating my gut is hot, but a woman who hated my gut, drunk whining and complaining about her cheating ex-boyfriend is far from hot.

By the end of the night, she seemed to be beyond drunk and wasted. I knew her father would've chewed her up if he had found out that his daughter was drinking her ass off because of a cheating bastard. Since I was the one responsible to lock the place, I had no other choice but taking her back to my loft upstairs.

I just dropped her onto my bed, and I myself laid next to her on the same bed. As I closed my eyes, I felt her hand sneaking up under my shirt. I opened my eyes and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Before I could say anything, she started kissing me on the lips. At first, I returned the kiss, but I shoved her away a second later. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Oh, come on, Mitchell." She slurred. "I know you've wanted to get into my pants since we met for the first time. This is your one and only chance."

"No, I didn't." I said matter-of-factly. "And I still don't."

"Why?" She raised her voice. "Is it because I'm mean to you? Or is it because you think I'm not as hot and as wild as the skanks you brought up here every other night?"

I scoffed and said, "Both. And also because you're not my type. Am not into redheads."

"No way." She slurred with her eyes narrowed. "You don't have any types. As long as it has a vagina, you'd fuck everything."

Honestly, I wasn't even offended. I slept with just anybody as long as they got the curve and had no any diseases. I didn't care about anything else. Well, why would I? I would dump them the morning anyway. Hump and dump is my motto. Was; was my motto.

Then I scoffed and said, "Just go to sleep, drunkass. Or I'm gonna kick your ugly drunk ass onto the floor."

Out of nowhere, she started crying. "I- I knew it." She sobbed onto my pillow. "I'm not hot enough... and I'm not good enough... tha- that's why Jerry cheated on me..."

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. Drama. The thing I hated the most. I turned on my side and covered my ear with another pillow. However, it wasn't enough to save me from the sound of her brain burning crying.

"Urgh!" I grunted in annoyance. Then I threw my pillow away and turned to look at her again. She was lying on her stomach with her face on my pillow. I huffed harshly, and reluctantly patted the back of her shoulder. "There, there."

However, she just kept on crying.

I groaned and whined, "Stop crying, dumbass."

It just made her cry even louder. I was annoyed, yet I also didn't have the heart to see her crying. I scratched the back of my ear in frustration. Running out of options, I huffed harshly and scooted closer, holding up my head on one elbow.

Then I used my other arm to rub her back awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Scar." I muttered apologetically. "I didn't mean it. I don't want to sleep with you not because you're not hot. In fact, you're a fox. You with that radiant red hair, and those glimmering blue eyes. And yeah, if you weren't Sebastian's daughter, I would've banged your sexy ass from a long time ago. However, you're my boss's daughter, and your parents have been nothing but kind to me. The least I could do to pay them back is by not touching their only daughter. Besides, I'm against taking an advantage from a drunk woman. And don't mind about Jerry cheating on you. I knew he's a fucking jerk from the moment I met him. His forehead has fucking cheating bastard tatted on. You certainly can do better."

Suddenly, she stopped crying and looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "I knew it!" She exclaimed triumphantly.

I was taken aback, and I pulled back automatically.

"I knew you want to get into my pants." She smirked ever so smugly. "And now I know that you're actually a nice person. You're just hiding your sweet spot behind those ear piercings and dark eyeliner."

"What?" I was stunned. "You were... but you just..." I stuttered with puzzled look. "You said... I thought..." I gasped. "You tricked me."

Still with that cocky winning smirk, she retorted, "Can't handle a bit of waterworks, Mitchell?"

"You bitch!" I looked at her with accusing disbelief narrowed eyes. "You faked those tears? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you even drunk?"

"Not even the slightest." She said ever so nonchalantly. When I just looked at her with my mouth wide opened, she rolled her eyes and mocked, "Please, my father owns a bar. Besides, I'm a grown ass woman, and I lived in Germany for seven years. I could handle my liquor."

The only thing I could do was looking at her with... I think I had never looked so dumb in my whole life.

"And I'm not even that upset about Jerry." She said so casually while wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands. "I've been trying to find any reasons to break up with him for a while. Too boring for my taste."

"What the fuck?" I was still confused. Was I shocked, or was I amazed by her? I wasn't sure. However, I put on my angry face and scolded her, "If you're not drunk, then get the fuck out of my loft!"

She hugged my pillow tightly, "But I'm comfy." Before I could say anything, she closed her eyes and said, "Good night, softy Mitchell."

It surprised me even more, and the only thing I could do was turning my back on her and letting it all sinking into my mind. It had never crossed my mind that I could be fooled by a woman, and it was quite... well, I don't know. But... the odd thing was, I wasn't even mad. With a smile on my face and my arms crossed on my chest, I just scoffed and shook my head.

"Don't you dare coming on to me tonight, softy Mitchell." She teased from my back.

"You wished." I said with a mocked upset voice.

I could hear her giggling, but I didn't say anything anymore.

After that night, the table was turned. She became the teaser, and I became the scowl faced mute. She blackmailed me, and I couldn't let her slip her tongue about what happened that night. It could've ruined my street cred. A Beca Mitchell brought a woman back into the loft and didn't have sex with her? No women would ever sleep with me again if they'd ever heard that story, and the other staff would've laughed their asses off.

She started to spend more time in my loft though. For the sole reason, to irritate me of course. She became the hard pain in the ass that I couldn't get rid of, and she certainly ruined so many of my orgasms.

She, walking into the loft unexpectedly when I nearly come with another woman's head in between my legs.

She, pretending to be my girlfriend when she came over in the middle of my humping session. I have lost counts on how many times I got slapped because she pulled that stun.

She, staying overnight in the loft so the other woman I intended to hump decided to leave the place.

And many, many more silly stuns.

Half a year later, I started to tolerate her staying in my loft at just anytime she wanted to. And surprisingly, I started to open up to her. I started to consider her as a friend.

In another year, I realized I had told her everything about my life, and I knew everything about hers. That was about the time I realized that I hadn't been sleeping around as much for a year.

Eventually, it became clear to me; I was falling for her.

Even so, I didn't dare to tell her right away. The day I told her about my feelings, I didn't plan it. We were hanging out in my loft as usual. I was sitting with my back on the headboards and playing games in my phone.

On the other hand, she was reading a book with her head on my laps. From time to time, I just couldn't help but stealing glances at her. One time or two, I would accidentally catch her doing the same to me.

Suddenly, I absentmindedly mumbled a song that had been stuck in my brain for months. "Always... you're throwing glances my way... You look at me like you could save me. You could you know... Oh look how you shine... I know I could love you if we tried... So try... try... try... try... I've been... saving up for this moment. Spent too long in my own head. Now I'm breaking through... Always... I find I'm ending up sideways... It's two steps forward and one away to get to you-"

"It's a good song." She said without looking away from the book.

Trying to seem casual, I just responded, "U huh."

"Whose song is it?"

"Zach Berkman." I said without moving my eyes from my phone's screen. "Try."

"Huh."

Suddenly, I didn't know where I got the nerve to ask, but I just did. I put down my phone and looked at her. "Scar?"

"Huh?" She responded without looking at me, seemed too focused on reading.

"Uh..." I cringed, and the voice coming out of my mouth was somehow shaky. "I uh... let's uh... let's say what if."

"U huh." Still, she wasn't looking my way.

After taking a deep breath, I blurted out, "What if I say that I might me falling for you?"

She stopped on her track, and stole a quick glance at me. Then she sat up and put down the book. I automatically crossed my legs so she could sit cross-legged in front of me.

With an eyebrow raised, the knack she mastered from me, she looked me in the eyes and asked, "Is it a real situation? Or is it just hypothetical?"

I became frantic, and I looked at anywhere else but her while tapping my fingers on my thighs.

When I hadn't said anything for a couple of minutes, she said, "I'm waiting, dumbass."

With my eyes fixed on my laps, I pinched the bridge of my nose. Then I stole a quick nervous glance at her before I muttered, "Real?"

"Jesus." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest.

Man, was I terrified. I thought she would've slapped me and said that she didn't want anything to do with me anymore, because I just ruined our friendship. The worst scenario in my head was, her father would kick me out of that loft in the morning.

"I thought this day would never ever come, Mitchell." She said in half annoyance.

I was completely taken aback, but she kept going. "You know, seeing how dense you've been in the last two years."

When I was still looking at her with my jaw slacked open after a minute, she smirked and leaned forward to kiss me. Upon feeling her warm lips on mine and her hands on the back of my head, I woke up from my stupid dumbfounded stupor and returned the kiss.

We started dating since then. The thing that made me easily slip into the relationship was, nothing much changed after that. We still bickered like we hated each other as usual, with the addition of making out and having sex.

I remember the day we told her father about our relationship. It was around half a year after we started dating. Scarlett and I were sitting in her father's living room, with her father certainly. I was beyond anxious, and I was scared the hell out of my mind.

After I told him everything, stuttering my words to be precise, Mr. Nichols looked at me dead in the eyes and asked, "You're dating my only daughter?"

"Y- yea?" I cringed.

Still with the terrifying stern glare, he leaned toward me and asked, "How long?"

To be honest, I'd never seen her father seemed that upset before. I could feel it in my hand, even Scarlett was a bit shaking too. Her hand was cold and damp in mine. Nevertheless, I swallowed hard and squeaked out, "Half a year?"

Then his face changed. He looked smug when he yelled, "Honey! You owe me a hundred dollars!"

"What?" Mrs. Nichols rushed into the living room from the kitchen.

"Told you." He smirked at his wife. "They started dating six months ago."

"Aw..." Mrs. Nichols seemed so disappointed as she handed the money to her husband. "I thought you've already been dating since more than a year ago."

"You bet on us?" Scarlett sounded confused yet also upset.

"Don't you raise your voice on me, young lady." Her father said with a stern glare. "You're dating one of my best employees, and you didn't even ask my permission."

"What?!" My girlfriend became more upset. "So, you were betting on us, and you thought I should've asked your permission to date Beca? Not the other way around?"

I snorted, and she slapped my arm. "Don't you dare laughing, Mitchell." She scolded me. "It's embarrassing enough that you took my dad on your side. You will wipe away that cocky grin on your face in this second, or you're not getting any tonight."

In the speed of light, I suck my teeth. But I wiggled my eyebrows at her father who just barked out a loud laughter. Then I followed suit.

When Mr. Nichols and I were laughing our asses off, Mrs. Nichols and Ms. Nichols didn't seem to be amused at all. Scarlett was glaring at me in the same way her mother was glaring at her father.

We stopped the laughter abruptly, and I cleared my throat. "So, how did you know, Sebastian?"

"Oh, please." He rolled his eyes. "I've seen this coming from the first time you met. You've been bickering like an old couple ever since the beginning. And six months ago, I could see the vibe between you two changed. Took you long enough, Mitchell."

I smirked and said, "What can I say? Your daughter wasn't easy to nail."

"Hey!" Scarlett and her mother exclaimed at the same time.

"I taught her well then." Mr. Nichols said smugly.

"Indeed." I replied.

"I hope it won't be easy to let her go either." He said with a soft warning glare.

I looked at the redhead next to me. She was blushing, and I just smiled fondly while holding her hand even tighter. Then, with my eyes still fixed on her, I said without any hesitation, "It won't."

Upon seeing how flushed Scarlett was, I smirked and shrugged nonchalantly. "After almost two years having her ruining my sex life, I just gave up on trying to getting rid of her. Instead, I started dating her. And now I'm up at my usual humping schedule again every night."

While Mr. Nichols was laughing, my girlfriend was pinching my arm repeatedly. I simply yelped in between my laughter and rubbed my arm up and down. Then Mrs. Nichols pinched her husband's cheek to stop him from laughing. It's safe to say, I earned their permission to date their only daughter.

Right now, we're counting the months into our fourth anniversary, and honestly, I've never been this happy my whole life. Not going to lie though. I'm kind of terrified of what might happen after we go back to Maine tomorrow.

Other than the fact that I'll certainly face the wrath coming from my stepmother and stepsister, the possibility of seeing Chloe again kind of scares me. I don't know anything about her life now, and it's been twelve years. I won't blame her if she's angry and furious. In fact, I'm betting on that.

The thing that terrifies me the most isn't Chloe being angry. I'm afraid of my own feelings for seeing her again. Chloe was my first love nevertheless. Would seeing her again change the way I feel about Scarlett? That is one heck of a question. Whether I like it or not, I will certainly find the answer in a few days supposedly.

Knowing that there's nothing I can do to prevent that, I simply sigh and close my eyes. Not long after, I fall asleep. At some point, I feel Scarlett's lips on my upper arm and her hand rubbing my chest. It's her way to wake me up.

"It's already ten in the morning, Babe." She says softly. "We need to pack up and go to the airport."

"Mmmkay." I shake my head and blink my eyes hard.

Then we pack up and shower together before going to the airport. We have our breakfast and lunch there at once before boarding the plane. The flight to Maine is quite long, and it gives me time to calm my nerves.

Scarlett doesn't talk much. I think it's because she knows that I need time to prepare myself.

I'm wondering if I can recognize my sister and Chloe when I meet them again. Don't let me start with Chloe. I wonder how much she has changed after all these years. If I remember correctly, and I'm pretty sure I do, she had a long wavy red locks and cheeks full of freckles when I left. On the other hand, Emily was just like me; she has brown locks. But she got brown eyes from our father, while I got steely blue eyes from my mom.

There's this question that keeps on nagging me since Emily called though. I know I'll get the answer as soon as I see Emily, but I'm just curious. So, I think I should tell my girlfriend. Who knows she has some theory about it.

"Scar?"

"Huh?" She turns to look at me.

"I can't help but wondering." I say with my eyebrows furrowed. "How do you think Emily could get my number?"

She takes a deep breath and holds my hand gently. "There's something I need to tell you. Do you remember the day we saw your father outside of the bar a couple of years back?"

"U huh?" I responds with puzzled look.

"Well," She seems apologetic. "After you walked back into the bar, I went to talk to him. He'd been stalking you for a few weeks to see your condition."

"He did?" I find it hard to believe.

"Yea." Scarlett smiles. "He asked me about your life after running off to LA, and I told her that it wasn't easy at first, but you're happier." She cups my cheek with one hand. "His smile was... well, a relieved concerned dad's smile. He told me that he didn't mean to bother you. Knowing that you made it out happily, he didn't want to reopen the old wound anymore. He said that finding out you living a good life was all he needed. He asked me your number though, saying that he might need it for an emergency, and he gave me his. In case something happen to you, he wanted me to tell him."

"Oh." I'm surprised. Not mad or anything. Just... didn't expect this kind of explanation. "Why didn't you tell me back then?"

She apologetically says, "I just thought that, if I had told you right away, you would've been angry with me and him, and you would've chased him down just to tell him to fuck off."

"Oh." I nod absentmindedly. Then I take a deep breath and let it sink in. I know that Scarlett was right to do so.

"Are you angry?" She asks cautiously.

I smile and look at her. "No. You were right. I would've been furious."

She still seems apologetic when she says, "But if I had told you, you might have had a chance to... you know, reconcile with him."

"It's my fault, not yours." I say with my voice shaky and my chest tightened. "When I saw him that day, I should've known that he was trying to reach out to me. To make it right. I should've given him a chance to at least explain himself."

Scarlett hugs me from aside and nuzzles her nose onto my cheek. "Don't blame yourself over this, Babe. You had your reasons, and right now, there's nothing you can do to change that."

Trying to gain some composure, I grab her arm on my chest tightly and sniffle lightly with a tight-lipped smile. Then I kiss her forehead, and rest mine onto it. "Thank you... for loving a dumbass like me."

"It's my gain." She smiles. "You're a dumbass, but you're my dumbass."

I let out a damp chuckle before kissing her lips gently.

After that, we just sit in silent until the flight lands in the airport. We rent a car and drive to my childhood house for about half an hour. It's already midnight when we arrive in front of Warren's house, and I don't have the courage to get out of the car.

"We're here." My girlfriend says as she squeezes my hand gently. "But you can take your time."

With anxious look, I smile and nod. For a while, I just stare at the house through the window. I feel heavy in my chest, and I know that it's not anger anymore; it's regret. I can feel a lump in my throat trying to choke me down. Trying to ease it, I chough lightly and take in a ragged damp breath. Then I clench my jaw and nod before I say, "Let's go in."

"Okay." Scarlett says before she kisses my cheek.

Then we both get out of the car, and I get our suitcase in the trunk. It's only one because we only intended to stay for a week the most. With Scarlett's hand in my left one, I walk to the house and ring the bell on the porch.

Five minutes later, Emily opens the door. She seems so surprised when she lunges forward to hug me tightly. "You're back."

I hug her back and say, "I am." I sigh in relief and tease, "Since when did you get this tall huh, little brat?"

Emily slaps my back and chuckles lightly.

Throughout my childhood, we were so close. I was always there for her to beat up every single bullies at her school who dared to make fun of her. When I left, she was one out of two people that I missed the most. The other one was obviously Chloe.

After a while, she breaks the hug and asks, "Why didn't you tell me that you're coming?"

I chuckle dryly and say, "Wanted to surprise my little sister."

"You could've done that years ago!" She shoves my shoulders angrily. "You should've done that years ago!" She cries loudly. "I kept waiting for you, you fucking jerk!"

Well, I kind of deserve much more than a punch. Therefore, I just stand there and let her pouring out her anger.

However, she hugs me again and sobs even harder on my shoulder.

Since I myself is on the verge of crying too, the only thing I can do is rubbing her back gently and mutter, "I'm sorry, Em."

Emily simply nods. Then she breaks the hug and wipes her cheeks before she pulls me inside.

However, I hold her back. When she turns around to look at me in confusion, I point my chin to the redhead behind me and say, "She's Scarlett. My girlfriend."

"Hi." Scarlet waves her hand, but Emily steps forward to hug her instead.

"Whoa." The redhead seems to be surprised. "She's a Mitchell and a hugger. What an odd combination."

I roll my eyes playfully while Emily is chuckling lightly.

After they break the hug, my sister says to me, "I like her already."

"You said that now." I say with a playful warning look.

"Yea." Scarlett says smugly. "In time, you'll love me. That's what happened to your sister."

Then they laugh together, and I simply roll my eyes again.

"Come on in." Emily says as she walks into the house. "Mom is asleep, so you have to wait until morning to see her. Let me take you to your old room."

"Okay." I say.

As we walk into my childhood bedroom upstairs, I'm taken aback to see that it's still the same as the night I took off.

"Dad kept it just the same." Emily says from my back. She sounds sad, and her voice is a bit shaky. "He had never moved even a single thing. He was hoping that you'd come back, you know. He always did. I knew it because that's what he told me every time I found him cleaning up your room."

As I turn around to look at my sister, I sigh in despair and say, "I didn't know. And I'm sorry."

Emily nods and clears her throat. "I'll leave you to rest. See you in the morning."

"Thanks, Em." I say.

"Thanks, Emily." Scarlet says at the same time.

Then my little sister walks out of the room and closes the door behind her.

After that, I walk around the room, simply checking out the things I left behind. An old guitar, records, posters, framed pictures, and so many other stuff that I didn't think I'd need on the road. Other than money, I only left with passport, clothes, laptop, and mom's picture.

Upon seeing so many things that bring back my memories, the pain starts to hit my chest. I clench my jaw tightly to prevent myself from choking on my tears. Then I stop my track in front of my desk. There's a picture of me and Warren.

In that picture, he was squatting down next to a standing up me, in front of a snowman we just made. I was only ten back then. We both were looking at the camera that Sheila held. He was smiling proudly, and he had his right arm around my shoulders. On his side, I was grinning from ear to ear with my arms crossed on my chest.

Now that I think about it, if had never found out about what happened to mom, if Warren had never told me anything about him cheating on her, I wouldn't left. And maybe, just maybe, I'd have more pictures of me growing up, standing next to the man I used to call Dad, with the same grin on my face.

I know it now. Despite of his mistake for cheating on mom, he loved me. And I? I let my anger got the best of me. Never once have I tried to see that all he tried to do was loving me as any father would, no matter what mistakes he and I had ever made.

Now I feel weak on my knees, and I break down in tears. Scarlett is quick on her feet to catch me in her arms and hugs me tightly. No, she doesn't say anything at all. She doesn't need to. A hug and a kiss on the top of my head are more than enough to show me that she's with me; that she got me.

Gently, she helps me up and drags me to lie on the bed. She just holds me tightly in her warm embrace with her lips pressed onto my hairline.

But there's no consolation or do over. Warren is dead, and I'm left with this regret I could never make up for him. I would never have a chance to tell him that I'm sorry and I forgive him; that I was so angry with him because I loved him so much, and his betrayal cut me deep. The pain in my chest is so unbearable, and I only know one thing or two to ease it.

The number first on my list would be having sex. Sex the pain away like old times. Therefore, I pull away from Scarlett and start kissing her. She kisses me back at first, but as I try to undress her, she grabs my hands to stop me and softly says, "Babe, you don't want to do this now. Trust me."

"I do." I plead with restraint voice. "Please... please... I need it. I can't take it, Scar. It's killing me. Just this one time. Please..."

With both hands, she cups my cheeks dearly. She's crying too when she says, "I know it hurts, Baby... I know you're hurting... But having sex won't take it away. It will only numb you for a minute, and then the pain will come back. You need to grieve, and then you'll be okay again. I promise." She wipes the tears on my cheeks and kisses my forehead before she looks me in the eyes again. "Trust me. I promise that you'll be fine again after you let yourself feel this pain."

With my face scrunched up from holding the constant pang in my chest, I ask in barely a whisper, "Promise this pain will go away?"

"Promise." She smiles and nods with her eyes teary.

Can't say anything anymore, I simply nod and let the tears stream down my face.

She pulls me back onto her chest, and just let me crying my eyes out.

Somehow, I fall asleep I guess. Because I wake up the next morning. I don't see Scarlett next to me, but I can hear the shower is running. Ignoring my heavy headache, I undress myself and walk into the shower.

I hug her from behind and kiss the back of her shoulder. Then she turns around and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I automatically rest my hands on her hips and lean in to kiss her chastely on the lips.

In this moment, we don't have anything to say. She doesn't ask how I feel, and I don't know what to say either. We just simply cleanse each other without any words, and it's more than enough to comfort me.

After we freshen up, we go downstairs. As I step into the kitchen, Sheila drops her cup onto the floor. She seems so shocked to see me, and her eyes become teary.

I'm waiting for the inevitable yelling and slapping, but she just stands there, looking at me with her eyes wide. I can't tell what she's feeling, but I can see water glimmering in her eyes and her hands are shaking.

In my eyes, she seems so much older than I ever remembered. Her blonde hair is a bit grey now, and there are wrinkles by the corner of her eyes. Her eyes though, they're still as blue as ever.

In almost ten years of my life, she was my mom. She was a mother to me, even longer than my real mom could. Even though Warren cheated on my mom with her, she always loved and cared about me the same way she did to Emily.

When she doesn't seem to be able to do or say anything, I smile weakly and mutter, "Hey."

Sheila paces her way to me, and she hugs me dearly. "You're home."

For a moment, I'm completely taken aback. Surprised by the warm welcoming, I can't help but choking on my tears. "You're not mad?" I ask with restraint voice.

"I am." She sobs on my shoulder. "Bu- but you're my child, a- and you're home... I'm also happy now that you're home."

Cautiously, I wrap my arms around her back and hug her just as tightly. Then I say in barely a whisper, "I'm home... mom."

It makes her cry even louder. "He- he always believed tha- that you'd come home..." She says in between sobs. "And he was right... You- you're home, my sweet child... you're home..."

"I am, mom." I choke out, also sobbing hard. "I'm home. And I... I'm so sorry... for everything..."

She breaks the hug and grabs my face. I am moved when she wipes the tears on my face gently like she always did when I was still a snotty kid. With a fond smile on her teary face, she says, "All is forgiven... you're healthy and happy... that's the most important thing to me..."

There's nothing I can say to express how relieved I am, how thankful I am for having such an understanding family. Therefore, I simply smile at her with my eyes teary.

She wipes the tears off her face and sniffles. Then she notices someone behind me, and she asks, "Who's that beautiful young lady?"

I let out a damp chuckle and step away from my mom. Then I wrap one arm around Scarlett's waist and say, "Mom, this is Scarlett. She's my girlfriend." I look at my girlfriend. "Scar, this is Sheila. My mother."

With a warm smile, Scarlett steps forward and hugs my mother. "It's very nice to finally see you in person, Mrs. Mitchell. Beca has told me so much about you and Emily."

Sheila pulls away from the hug and asks, "She did?"

"She did." Scarlett says softly with a light smile on her face. "She told me that you loved her, and you took care of her after her mom died. She also told me that she loves you."

I can see that Sheila has become more emotional when she looks at me. She's most likely moved.

Heat starts to spread up to my face, and I look away as I shyly mutter, "Well, that much is true."

"Of course it is." Sheila smiles ever so brightly. Then she wipes her tears away and puts her hands on her hips. "Now, it is time for me to yell at you, young lady." She scolds me. "Where the hell have you been?"

I laugh lightly and step forward to kiss her forehead. "Here and there, Mom." Then I look at my girlfriend fondly. "Got lost wandering around, yet somehow I ended up finding someone I could call home in LA."

The smile on Scarlett's teary face, the happy bright lighten up look on her face, it is something I've never seen before in my life for as long as I've known her.

"I love you." She mouths to me.

I chuckle and mouth back, "I love you too."

Suddenly, Emily comes into the kitchen and teases, "Seems like I don't have to introduce the strangers in our house to you anymore, Mom. I can see that all of you get to know each other very well."

We all laugh together. Somehow, being welcomed back so warmly gives me a bit of relief. There's a huge part of me that still regrets my decision to leave. But if I hadn't, I wouldn't find Scarlett. I wouldn't know how deep a family's love for me right now, and it's beyond any kind of love I could find in every corners of this world.

Then we have breakfast together.

Suddenly, Mom says, "We tried to look for you, honey."

When I say nothing but smiling apologetically, Sheila continues, "But we never found you. After two years, we just... kind of moved on and started living our lives again. Not with your dad certainly. He never gave up on finding you. Kept on hoping that you'd show up someday without us pushing you to do so. Just never thought you'd go as far as LA."

"But he found me around three years ago." I say before shoving a toast into my mouth.

"He did?" Mom and Emily ask at the same time.

Feeling confused, I ask, "He didn't tell you? How did you find my number then?"

"It was in his wallet." Emily explains. "In his last breath, he told us to look for you in his wallet, and I found a picture of adult you. Taken candidly I could tell. On its back, there's a number with your pet name. My champ."

My chest tightened again. I put down the toast, and my face is scrunched up from holding back the pain when I say with shaky voice, "Around three years ago, I saw him by the corner of the street near the place I work at. When I looked at him, all of my anger just... came back. And I walked away." I sigh heavily. "I shouldn't have."

"Around three years ago?" Emily seems puzzled. "Wasn't that around the time Dad took a trip alone for about a month?"

Then Scarlett tells her part of the story.

Oddly, Sheila seems like she just puts two and two together. "Oh... that's why he seemed so relieved after he came back from that trip."

There's nothing I can do but staring at the table in despair. It seems like mom can tell how I'm feeling. Well, mom knows best, right? She grabs my hand and softly says, "It's all in the past, sweetie. You were so young, and you were angry. I understand. Your dad loved you, and he wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He knew he was the one to blame. All he needed to know was you to be happy and okay. And after he found out, he got his peace."

With a heavy feeling in my chest, I look at my mom and ask with shaky voice, "How can you tell?"

Sheila smiles understandingly and says, "I just do, honey. He's the love of my life, and I could feel it in my bones. The serene look on his face after he came back from that trip, it was something I could never forget. He didn't even need to tell me, but I know it now. He was relieved that you didn't wreck your live because of his mistake. And I know that he didn't tell us because he knew that if he had, I would've pushed him to bring you home."

I rub my face up and down with one hand, and I choke on my tears again as I cover my mouth. "I was so... fucking selfish." I sob with my eyes closed.

Mom caresses my arm and softly says, "It's okay, honey. It's okay. He knew that you loved him. He always did."

I can feel Scarlett's hand squeezing mine tightly, and I hold on to her when I say, "You should be hating me, mom... Both you and Emily... you should've."

Mom grabs my face gently. "How could I?" She says with apologetic look. "I love you like my own daughter because I love you, Beca. Don't ever doubt that. But..." Her voice comes out restraint. "But I was also the reason you lost your mom, I was the reason you hated your father, and I was the reason you left. It was all on me. If only-" She chokes on her tears. "If I didn't fall in love with him, all of those things wouldn't happen. I... I just keep hoping that someday..." She takes in a ragged breath. "Someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Mom..." I push through my tightened throat. "I didn't blame you... I never have... You took care of me like I was your own daughter... I just- I just put all the blame on... on Dad." It's been so long since I said that word, but somehow I feel better saying it out loud. "But I... I should've told him when I go- got the chance. I should've to- told him that I loved him... and I forgave him. If only I gave myself a chance to- to just let it all sink in before I took off... I would've seen it better... understood better... that mom's death was... It wasn't on anybody... It was an accident..."

Then Sheila hugs me tightly, and Emily joins us. We cry together, just like the night I cried with Dad when mom died. From the corner of my eyes, I can see that Scarlett is also crying.

There's a lot of tears today. Even coming from four women, it still counts as a lot. But all of us feel better after the revelation. For me myself, it feels like a heavy burden I've been carrying for twelve years is lifted off my shoulders and my chest.

After the tears subside, Emily pulls away and says, "Well, I guess that's enough crying for today. We got to save some for tomorrow. Even though I'm sure Dad wouldn't mind, can't risk looking relieved and happy to the neighbors on Dad's funeral."

All of us laugh while wiping the tears on our faces. Then Mom grabs my hand and says, "Now tell us about your life after you left. What have you been up to?"

"I'm a DJ." I reply. "And a bartender."

"And a co-owner of a club." Scarlett chips in.

I roll my eyes and shrug. "Just a little bit part of it."

"I knew it." Sheila seems proud. "I always knew that you'd make it big in music. You've always been good with music instruments since you were only a kid."

"I'm just DJ-ing at some clubs, Mom." I explains a bit shyly. "Not some big shot world class DJ."

"You could have." Scarlett says. Then she looks at my mom and excitedly says, "She was offered so many opportunities from labels and sponsors to have her exclusive tours. Yet she refused because she wanted to stay loyal to my dad who took her in when she first came to LA. So, she keeps it local. And even so, she's a big deal of a DJ there. People have to pay quite a price to get her to perform in their clubs."

"Scarlett..." I warn my girlfriend softly. I just don't feel right telling them about how great my life has been without them.

"I bet that's how your dad found you." Mom seems so excited though. "Tell me all about it."

So, I tell mom and Emily about my life in LA from the beginning. They tell me a bunch of stories too, about how they moved on with their lives after I left.

Somehow, the topic moves to Scarlett. The redhead seems so cheerful when she's telling my family about how our relationship started. I just sit there next to her, smiling and shaking my head from time to time.

"At least she could treat you right, Scarlett." Mom says to my girlfriend before glaring at me. "You slept around for years with so many women you said. You should be thankful you found her. If you dare to hurt her, I'm gonna spank your ass."

I roll my eyes playfully and say, "I am thankful, Mom. I've been with her for almost four years now, and we were friends for three years before that."

"She's been always a sucker for redheads." Emily teases.

"I know." Scarlett teases me. "Chloe, her first love, is also a redhead so I've heard. With the same shade of bright blue eyes she told me."

"You told her?" My sister asks me with a comical surprised look.

"Told her everything." I say casually.

"Wow." Sheila seems impressed. "You could make my closed off snarky stone headed daughter to open up. Standing ovation, Scarlett."

Scarlett chuckles and retorts, "What can I say? She's kind of a sucker for redheads."

"I'm not a sucker for just any redheads." I defend with an arrogant look. Then I raise my left shoulder, trying to be casual when I say, "I'm just a sucker for you. Who happens to be a redhead."

"What about Chloe then?" Scarlett asks with her eyes narrowed, yet I can see that she's trying to hold back a grin.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes in mocked annoyance. "The two women I've ever loved in my life happen to be redheads. Doesn't mean I'm a sucker for redheads."

"Yea, right." Sheila says in mocked annoyance. "Not a sucker for redheads, but a sucker for redheads with bright blue eyes."

"Can you sing?" Emily asks to my girlfriend excitedly. "If you do, then it'll be a perfect equation of my sister's type for a girlfriend. Has red hair, blue eyes, and can sing."

I snort and say, "Scarlett won't be able to sing even it is to save her life. Her voice is way off tune, she could create a whole new octave on her own."

My girlfriend slaps my arm playfully while the rest three of us are laughing.

After the laughter unwind, I cautiously ask, "How is she anyway? Chloe. After I left."

"Well," Emily sips her coffee. "Dad told her about the reason you left, and she told us about the fight you had with her on the same day. She thought it was her fault. If you and her hadn't had a fight that day, you would've come to her. She felt bad, and..." My sister cringes. "She was devastated for a while."

I sigh heavily and say, "I should have contacted her either before or after I left."

"She bounced back though." My sister says casually. "A couple of months after you left, she went to Barden."

Suddenly, I feel lighter. "I bet she became a Bella. It was her dream ever since we were only kids. To be a Bella like her mother."

"Yep." Emily nods excitedly. "In fact, she wasn't the only one of your classmates who went to Barden and became a Bella. Aubrey, Stacie, and Fat Amy too."

My eyes go wide. I'm so surprised. "Posen? The stick-ass cheerleader squat's captain? Chloe's best friend in high school?"

"Yep." My sister grins. "She and Chloe were the captains for Bella before me."

I am halfway through sipping my coffee, and I choke on it. After coughing hard, I ask with hoarse voice, "You became captain for the Bella?"

"Why are you so surprised?" Emily pouts. "You knew I wanted to be a Bella like mom since I was a kid. You remember that, right?"

Mom and I laugh lightly.

"Of course." I say softly. "And I'm proud of you, little brat."

"Hmph." The tall drink of water pouts even more. "You should. I won two world championships, and five ICCA's."

"Wow..." I grin so proudly. "Impressive."

"What is Bella, Babe?" Scarlett asks me.

"It's a cult where a group of young girls make music only with their mouths." I explain casually. "It's in Barden University in Atlanta. My first mom, Chloe's mom, Aubrey's mom, and Stacie's mom were all Bellas in the same generation. Other than me, my childhood friends wanted to become a Bella like their mothers. Even Sheila was a Bella. But she was five years younger than my mom's generation."

"Oh." Scarlett nods absentmindedly.

"It's not a cult, you asshole." Emily scolds me. "We're a close-knit talented group of ladies whose dream is to perform in Lincoln Center every year."

"Say whatever you want." I tease nonchalantly. "For me, it's a cult. Only weirdos would join that cult you call Bella."

"Hey!" Mom slaps my arm playfully. "I was a Bella. Your mom was a Bella. Have some respect to your old ladies. And God bless your mom's soul if she could hear you now."

I roll my eyes and say with bored look, "Fine. It's not a cult. I'm sorry."

Scarlett giggles and tease, "What a mommy's little girl you are, Mitchell. One word, and you wave the white flag already. I should learn a lot from your mom."

With a smile so proud, Sheila explains to my girlfriend, "She has always been mommy's little girl since she was a kid. One time, I think she was eleven at that time; she came home with scratches on her knuckles, a bruised jaw, and broken lips. She got into a fight with Bumper, who bullied Chloe at school. Her father only asked her one thing. Did you win? And she, nodded with a smirk so smug. But after her dad left and I was cleansing her wound, she whined, Mom, it hurts so bad. Be gentle please. So I scolded her, Who told you to get into a fight?! And with a boy nonetheless! Then she cried."

Scarlett and Emily laugh so hard.

"You will stop telling embarrassing stories about me to my girlfriend, old lady." I warn my mom playfully. "If this one run away, I can't promise I can bring another woman back home. You know, knowing my track record of changing them like I change clothes before I started dating her. Besides, Bumper didn't dare to bother Chloe anymore ever since. So, it was worth the pain."

"I want to know more." Scarlett says with her face lighten up.

Mom looks at my girlfriend, smiling warmly as she says, "Oh don't worry, sweetie. I've got so many of them. I bet she hasn't told you about the day I caught her and Chloe in her bedroom doing-"

"Mom!" I exclaim hurriedly. I'm panicking because she's about to tell a story of how she found out my relationship with Chloe. "Don't."

"I don't mind." Scarlett grins at me. "Your mother caught you having sex with Chloe. Big deal. My dad caught me having sex when I was seventeen, and I was fine. Can't say the same thing about my first boyfriend though. I think he still has a crook on the back of his head where dad hit him with a shoe."

Mom and Emily laugh while I hurriedly change the topic. "We were talking about my classmates and the Bella. So, how are they now?"

Emily says, "Aubrey is a headmaster in our high school..."

I scoff, "No wonder. Her father owns the school."

"And she's dating Stacie." Emily finishes her hanging sentence.

"What?!" I am completely lost. "How?"

Emily shrugs, "Happened in college. I guess opposite attracts came true for them. And Stacie is an intern at a hospital now. She's choosing neurosurgery as her specialty."

"The slack-ass Stacie Conrad?" I ask in comical surprise. "She was one of my best friends back in high school, and as far as I remember, she used to sleep a lot in the class."

"Yep." Emily pops her P. "Turns out, she has an IQ of a genius, and a pair of steady quick hands."

I laugh and shake my head in disbelief. "And Fat Amy?"

"She's working at a radio station now." Emily explains. "And Chloe teaches in the same high school as Aubrey and me."

"So, my little brat of a sister is a teacher now?" I tease.

Emily rolls her eyes and says, "I teach music and art. The same with Chloe." Then she clears her throat and says, "She's married, you know."

"Who's married?" I ask.

My sister steals a quick glance at my mom, and then she gives me a smile that I can only read as an awkward apologetic smile.

"Chloe." She mutters, still with the same awkward grimace. "She's married with Tom. And they already have two little girls."

"Oh." I nod absentmindedly. Not that I'm so surprised. Ever since we were only two horny teenagers, Chloe always said that she wanted to marry in young age. But still, this is news to me. The surprising part is, I'm not feeling bad about it. Just feel a light tug in my chest for finding out that she married Tom. So, I simply chuckle and say, "Glad to hear that."

I don't know why everybody seem to be relieved to see my calm reaction. Including Scarlett. Maybe they had expected some anger, because they knew how jealous I was with Tom.

Suddenly, Mom gets up and says, "I think that's enough chit chat for today. The church is taking care of the funeral, but we still have to do some shopping for the gathering after the funeral. We need so many things, and I've put down a list."

"I'll go." Emily says.

"I'll come with you." Scarlett says to my sister. "I want to look around the town where this dumbass you call a sister grew up."

I roll my eyes, "The dumbass you're stuck with nonetheless."

"Let's all go together." Mom says. "We can even have lunch at Beca's favorite diner."

I'm surprised. "Joe's is still open?"

"Yep." Emily nods excitedly. "We still go there every once in a week."

That diner has opened ever since I can remember. That was the place where mom and dad first met. When my mother was still alive, we made a habit out if it to have a family dinner there at least once a week. After she died, Dad and I still went there just the two of us, until Sheila and Emily came along. I can't believe that that place is still running, but I simply chuckle and shake my head.

"It's settled then." Mom says. "Now, all of you go freshen up, and we'll go in half an hour."

"Okay."

Scarlett and I go back to my room upstairs. As I close the door, I feel her arms around my torso and her lips on the back of my shoulder.

"You seem to feel better." She says softly.

With a light smile on my face, and most likely a thousand of butterflies in my stomach, I turn around and clasp my hands behind her back. "I do. Now that I think about it, Dad did make an awful mistake in his life. But he did everything else right. If he didn't, I don't think Mom and Em would take me back so lightly and easily."

"I think so too." She smiles and kisses my lips gently.

After we break the kiss, I rest my forehead on hers and whispers, "Thank you for doing this with me."

"My gain, babe." She grins. "I have a chance to meet your family, and I get to hear stories about your childhood from them."

I pinch her cheeks playfully and say, "Just don't go running if I wasn't as cute as you had expected to be."

"I bet you were." She teases. "Even after all these years, you've never ceased to amaze me about how closeted cute you are. I can't wait to find out more."

I simply smile and sigh contentedly.

Then she cups my cheek with one hand and says, "Just one thing though."

"Hm?"

With a bit of worried look, she asks, "Will it be too much to ask if I want you to stay, no matter how angry I will ever make you?"

I chuckle and reply without any hesitation, "No. It's not too much to ask." I brush a strain of hair to the back of her ear and caress her head gently. "You know I love you, weirdo. I promise. I will never run away from you. No matter what happens. But if, just if, somehow I..." I shake my head. "I don't know. Maybe my head got hit too badly or something. But if I ever run away from you, drag my dumb ass back. Don't ever let me go and regret doing the same fucking mistake."

With a smile so fond, she rests her forehead onto mine and whispers, "I promise. I will drag and put your dumb ass on a tight leash if you ever try to run away from me."

I laugh lightly and kiss her lips gently.

Then we go freshen up and change our clothes before we go to the department store.

---

At the Department Store

We've only been in here for half an hour, but I'm bored already. So, I pull Scarlett aside and say, "Scar, I'm gonna head out a bit to get some air."

"Okay."

Before I walk out of the store, I buy a pack of cigarette. After I leave the cashier, someone holds my arm back.

"Babe." Scarlett looks at me with a knowing look and sticks out her hand.

I roll my eyes and take a pack of cigarette out of my pocket before I put it on her hand. "I just needed to calm my nerves, Scar. This morning has been a roller coaster. I'm glad everything went more than fine. But still, you know me. I need time to re-process everything."

With an understanding smile, she asks, "Will you be mad if I ask you to take only as much as you need, and not as much as you want?"

Upon seeing how considerate my girlfriend is about my situation, I smile and say, "No, I won't be mad. I'm glad actually."

Her face lighten up, and she says, "Okay." She opens the cigarette. "Take as much as you need."

I take one, and she seems fine. So, I take another one, and she flinches slightly. I only intended to take two, but I just want to test her reaction if I take another one.

Turns out, she pulls back her hand just a little bit. I wouldn't even notice if I didn't pay any attention intentionally. I chuckle and put the last cig back into the pack. "I only need two, Scar. I was just trying to see what you'd do if I took more than my usual daily nicotine fix."

She smiles in relief and kisses my cheek. "Now you can go have your nicotine break."

Then I walk out of the store. With my back leaned on the wall outside of the store, I light the cig and start smoking slowly.

While my mind is putting the pieces together, I just look around. So much has changed in the last twelve years. There are so many new stores around, and there are so many faces I don't recognize. Either I forgot how they look, or they're just the people who moved into this town after I left. Without thinking so much about the people, I light another cig and let my mind does its work.

As I kick a stone near my boots, I blow out smoke through my mouth and turn to look aside. I stop on my track for a second upon seeing her on the corner of the street.

Chloe.

Still with her radiant red hair, and a bright smile on her face. She's laughing with a blonde woman that I can't even be more careless about who it is.

Chloe's smile though, it's still so mesmerizing as ever. I wonder how she could look more beautiful than the day I left. Either I have a very rusty memory of her, or the time we spent apart has done her well. I feel like I'm seeing her in a slow motion, and I can't do anything else but smiling.

My mind splits up a little while as a memory of our first lovemaking comes back to me. After we'd done having our first time together, she laid her temple on my chest, and I said with my lips on the top of her head, "I love you to the bottom of the sea, Chlo."

I still remember the glimmer in her eyes and the smile on her face after I said those words. They were so bright, I think it could light up the whole universe. No wonder at all. I rarely said something romantic to her. I was bad, and still am, at those kind of things. Therefore, seeing her reaction at that moment, it made my chest so warm and full at the same time.

Also, I still remember the way she said it back to me. One kiss on my forehead for I, another kiss on the tip of my nose for love, and one last kiss on my lips for you. Then she smiled ever so fondly when she repeated, "I love you so much, Beca Mitchell. To the bottom of the sea and beyond."

That memory makes me sigh contentedly. Right now, she's coming my way, but I can tell that she hasn't noticed me yet. I even wonder if she'd remember me after all these years. However, I just smile and shake my head as I smoke deeply.

When she almost walks pass through me, I straighten up and call, "Hey, Beale."

She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, staring at me up and down from the top of my head to the tip of my heels. A second later, she asks, "Beca? Beca Mitchell?"

Still with a cig in between my fingers, I hold my arms near my thighs in an open gesture. Then I smirk with my head slightly tilted. "The one and only."

Her face lighten up, and suddenly, my vision is covered with red hair.

"Becs!" She tackles me.

"Whoa." I hold us up on my feet. "Careful, Chlo. Got cigarette in my hand."

She breaks the hug and bombards me with questions, "When did you come back? Why haven't you grow even an inch at all since high school? You're smoking now?" She touches my ear. "What is it with these ear piercings?" She flips my arm. "And you have tattoos now?

"Let her breathe, Chloe." The blonde woman says.

I finally realize that it's Aubrey Posen. I smoke deeply for one more time and flick the cig out of my fingers as I inhale the smoke back through my nose. Then, with my head turning away from them, I blow out the rest of it through the corner of my lips so it won't get to them.

However, Aubrey cringes and waves her hands to get rid of the heavy smoke. "It's not appropriate to blow a smoke on someone's face."

"Long time no see, Posen." I smirk. "Still a stick ass I can see."

"And you're still an asshole." She says in annoyance.

I simply bark out a loud laughter. We weren't fond to each other since high school, but we were always on the same team when anybody dared to bother Chloe Beale.

Then Chloe holds both of my hands and exclaims cheerfully, "God! How long has it been?!"

"Twelve years." I answer without any hesitation, still with a grin on my face.

Maybe the adrenaline from the joy of seeing me has worn off, and been replaced with another kind of adrenaline. My ex slaps my arm harshly and snaps, "You just left! You just fucking left without a word!"

The only thing I can say is, "I'm sorry for what I did. But you've heard the story."

"You should've come to me!" She yells with angry tears in her eyes. "You should've at least reached out to me!"

I sigh heavily, but I'm smiling apologetically when I say, "I'm sorry."

When she's about to yell at me again, Aubrey says, "Chloe, we're in front of a department store, and everybody is staring at us now. So, calm your pit."

Chloe wipes the tears in her eyes and says to me, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for..." She shakes her head and lets out a damp chuckle. "I'm sorry for the silly fight we had on your 18th birthday, and I'm sorry for embarrassing you right now."

"So, you're not sorry for embarrassing me for so many times since we were just snotty kids?" I tease with a cocky smirk as always.

She slaps my arm again, but playfully this time. Then she softly asks, "How have you been?" She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "On second thought. Where have you been?"

"I'm good." I say casually with a light smile on my face. "Been in LA all this time. Doing this and that to pay the bill." Then I look at her with a knowing smile. "And I've heard from Emily. You're married. With Tom."

I don't know why or if I guess right, but she seems a bit ashamed when she says, "I am. He was..." She sighs deeply. "I'm sorry, Becs. But he was there to help me picking up the pieces after you left. He even went to Barden to be with me."

"Hey, don't apologize." I say lightly. "I'm just happy you could find your way to move on. What I did, it was..." I smile apologetically. "It was childish and selfish. And I'm sorry for the pain I put you through."

There's almost half a minute where none of us says anything. Awkward is an understatement for sure. So, to lighten up the mood, I smirk and say, "Heard you've got two little ones in tow by now. Bet they're redheads too."

At the mention of her children, Chloe laughs lightly, and I can tell that she's genuinely happy.

"I do." She says with a smile that I made me fall in love with her in the first place. "I have two little girls now. But they don't have red hair like me. They're brunette like Tom."

"Oh." I nod absentmindedly. Then I smirk and say, "Too bad. Won't mind to see more redheads coming from the Beales."

"How about you?" She asks with a joyful grin.

"Don't have any little brats yet." I say with my arrogant smirk. "And not anytime soon."

"Any... spouse? Partner?" She asks teasingly.

I chuckle and nod. "A girlfriend. And I'll just put it out now. She's a redhead."

The look on her face right now, I can't tell exactly what it shows. Before I can inspect more about it, she has turned back to her usual bubbly self that I can easily tell from the look on her face.

"I'm glad that you have someone." She says softly.

"Thanks."

However, she looks concerned when she says, "But you're smoking now."

I shrug and nonchalantly say, "Just a little. When it's needed. My girlfriend is a bit strict with my smoking habit, and I smoke barely a pack in a week in the last couple of years. But..." She sighs with a bitter smile. "This is a hard time."

"I've heard." She says sympathetically. "How are you holding up?"

"Better than expected actually." I say. "Mom and Em weren't as angry as I had predicted."

"Good to know." She smiles ever so fondly. "They love you, Becs. They always have."

"I know." I nod with a smile on my face.

"Chloe, break is almost over." Aubrey reminds us that she's still around. "We have to go back to school."

Chloe looks at her best friend and says with a pleading look, "Just a second." Then she looks back at me. "We should catch up. How long will you be staying in town?"

"A week at most." I answer casually. "And yea. We should catch up."

Her smile is so bright when she says, "Give me your number. I'm not losing you again, Mitchell."

"Sure." I say as I take out my phone, and then we change numbers.

After she shoves her phone back into her purse, she retorts, "So, when will I get the pleasure to meet your redheaded girlfriend?"

It's odd to me that we can talk like nothing has changed in the last twelve years. Like she's still my best friend who I told everything to, and I'm still the brat who protected her from everything bad. I myself feel light when I chuckle and say, "Well, if you come to the funeral tomorrow, you will certainly meet her."

"She's here?" She asks in comical surprise.

"She is." I nod. "In the store with Mom and Em. Shopping for the gathering tomorrow."

"Oh." Chloe nods absentmindedly.

"Chloe..." Aubrey sounds a bit impatient now.

With an apologetic look, Chloe says to me, "I've got to go, Becs. But I'll be there for the funeral tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow then." I nod with a light smile.

She spends a couple of seconds to look at me with a soft smile on her face, and then she rubs my arm as she says, "I can't express enough about how glad I am to see you again."

"Me too." I say genuinely.

"See you tomorrow, Mitchell." Aubrey says, oddly with a warm smile. "And it's good to see you again."

I smile back at her and say, "It's good to see you too, Posen." Then I can't help but smirking as I continue, "And tell Stacie I want details."

The blonde's face turns red so vastly, and I bark out a loud laughter.

"Tell her yourself." Aubrey mutters shyly.

Then we wave goodbye, and they walk away.

With a light smile on my face and my hands in my pockets, I simply look at Chloe's back for a while. When she's going to take a turn by the corner of the street, I sigh contentedly and walk toward the store entrance. Just as I'm about to step in, I take a step back and look at her back one more time. I can see that she's talking with Aubrey. I simply chuckle and walk back into the store with my chest free of burden.

When I find my girlfriend, she asks, "How's the nicotine break, Babe?"

"It was..." I furrow my eyebrows, yet I'm also smiling. "It was weirdly okay I think."

"Huh?" She looks at me in confusion. "Weirdly okay?"

"Yea." I nod with a light smile. "I met Chloe, Scar."

"And how did it feel?" She asks softly.

My eyebrows are furrowed when I nod absentmindedly to think, and then I ask, "Do you know how people say that it's okay to be weird?"

With a puzzled look, she responds, "Ye...a?"

"Well, meeting her was fine to the very least." I say nonchalantly. "And I'm wondering is it weird to feel okay? I mean, I just met a woman I left twelve years ago. Despite of I felt regretful, and there was an awkward moment, it went better than fine. She even wanted to meet and catch up." I scratch the back of my ear. "Weird, right? Is there any phrase that says it's weirdly okay?"

Scarlett chuckles and says, "However you phrase it, I'm just glad that it went well."

"It did." I say surprisingly light. "Seeing her again didn't feel as bad as I'd thought. In fact, it wasn't hard at all. It was easy; a lot easier than I'd ever imagined. She seemed happy with her life, and I'm happy with you. I guess we've both moved on, and that's just how life's supposed to be when time is involved."

"Maybe." My girlfriend says while staring at me ever so fondly.

"Maybe." I confirm, staring back at her with the same warmth in my eyes. Then I kiss her lips chastely before I say, "Let's get this shopping done before my legs give up on me. Mom will scold me for being such a baby."

Scarlett laughs lightly and says, "Okay."

"And hey." I say as I push the shopping cart next to her. "You'll have a chance to meet Chloe. She'll come to the funeral tomorrow."

"Huh." She tilts her head a bit. "Okay."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow." She says nonchalantly.

"Huh." I can't help but feeling confused. "How is it so easy for you to not worry about anything at all?"

With a mocked serious look and narrowed eyes, she holds up one fist and says in determination, "The super power I earned after years of knowing and dating a flight risk dumbass."

I bark out a loud laughter, and then she continues, "And in case you don't know, the flight risk dumbass, it's you."

I bark out another louder laughter, and she simply chuckles lightly as she links her arm with mine.

---

A.N.

So, Beca might think that both her and Chloe have moved on. Well, she doesn't know how Chloe truly felt about the meeting. Since this story is from Beca's POV, and she can't read Chloe's mind, then she can't tell.

I can tell you one thing though. If, just if, Beca had spent one more second to look at Chloe's back before she walked into the store, she would've seen that Chloe turned around to find and look at her longingly. The redhead only caught a split second of her appearance, because Beca had walked into the store the split second later.

One tiny split second, and their gazes would've met.

The universe and the wonder of its work.

Deep breath.

Anyway, I'm still editing the first chapter of Life of Beca Mitchell (The Sequel). But the idea of this story has been hanging over my head since months ago. I just can't wait to write it down and put it out anymore.

It's inspired by two songs. The first one, I've mentioned it in the story; Try by Zach Berkman. The other one is Moving On by Kodaline.

Since I am so bad at describing characters physically, it's always easier for me to imagine someone I have seen. Scarlett Nichols is an actual person in real life. More or less. She's a celebrity, and I bet you can find her easily on the internet from the name and descriptions I gave. Her character in this story is on me, and not based on the character in the actual movie. I just needed her appearance to make it easier for me to let the imagination unfolded in my mind.