Alec Lightwood stood in front of the full length mirror that was inside his bedroom. He looked at himself and how he was dressed. White suit, black bow tie and gelled down hair. Dressed for a wedding. Well, dressed for his wedding. Dressed how a shadowhunter should for their own wedding. Alec looked at himself and he felt as if he was going to throw up all over the place. He didn't want this. In all honesty no matter what he told Jace or Izzy or Clary, he did not want to marry Lydia. Or a woman. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this. Bu he had to. This was for his family. This was for the Institute. This was for Jace and Max and Isabelle. This wasn't for him and it couldn't be for him. No matter how much he wanted things to change and no matter how much he wanted to marry a man that he loved.

Alec looked at himself again and he pulled a stray hair out of his face. He needed to look perfect tonight. He needed to be perfect. Everything had to be... perfect. Alec went to quickly run his stele over his stamina rune, when he saw his phone start ringing. He looked down at it and he saw that it was Magnus that was calling him. Magnus. The immortal and overall beautiful warlock that made Alec question his hidden sexuality. Alec was so envious of the warlock, for being so out and about and proud of his bisexuality. Something that Alec wanted to do. But he couldn't. He was a shadowhunter and there was no such thing as a shadowhunter who was out and proud. Alec grabbed his phone and looked at it. He was so mad at himself for choosing to marry Lydia, but he was more mad at himself for not giving him a chance. A chance at love. At chance at happiness. Magnus would ruin everything that he was trying to do for his family. For his career. For Lydia. For the Institute. Alec growled and pressed the answer button. "What is it Magnus?" he yelled.

"I just got the most interesting call from Isabelle and, surprisingly, Jace." Magnus said on the phone. "Is it true? That you're getting married today? After everything that happened the day before?"

Alec growled and he gripped his phone a bit tighter. "Yes Magnus, I am. And why do you care?"

"How many times to I have the repeat the same thing to nephilim? What don't you get? I like you. I have strong feelings for you! Please Alexander... I know that you feel the same way. I know you do. I know you do Alec."

"You have no clue how I feel Magnus."

"Alec please... you're gong to ruin yourself. This... this is going to ruin your life. Pretending to be with someone you don't love, I've been there. I know how it feels Alec, don't do this to yourself. I know that you have feelings like I do." Magnus said. "I care about you. You care about me. Why are you making this so difficult on yourself?"

"I'm not making anything hard Magnus! What don't you get, I don't have feelings for you! I don't like you! I hate you!" Alec yelled, automatically regretting the words that came out of his mouth. There was silence on the other line. But Alec couldn't find the words to make things right. To apologize. "Don't call me again. Don't contact my siblings about me. Just leave me alo-"

Before Alec could finish, he heard the dial tone. He pulled his phone away and saw that Magnus had hung up. Alec gripped his phone harder. Angry at himself for lying. Alec really did like Magnus. He cared about him so much. He wanted to protect him, to care for him, to speak to him, to make him feel better about everything. But this wasn't about him. This was about his family. This was about the Institute. This wasn't about him. It couldn't be about him. It can't be about him. Ever. Alec put his phone down and looked back up at himself in the mirror. He fixed his hair again and walked out of the bedroom, ready to marry Lydia Branwell.

Magnus sat on his phone, gripping his phone. He had just hung up on Alec. After what he said. He said that he hated him. That he didn't feel anything towards him. But of course, what else could have happened? This was exactly why he had closed his heart out for over a century. Now he was done with love. He was done with finding a man or woman to be with him. To care about him. How could anyone? Look at him. He's a downworlder, a bisexual man, an a minority with his Indonesian decent. Now, Magnus was done. He got up and threw his phone across the room with his magic. The phone hit one of his favorite lamps and the light-bulb glass and lamp wood went everywhere. Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't stay here. Not any longer especially when Alec had just told him exactly how he felt. Magnus was over to his bedroom and snapped his fingers. All of his clothing were magically whisked away somewhere away from New York.

Magnus walked into the living room and snapped his fingers again. All of his items were whisked away as well, except for his couch and the broken glass and lamp. He waved his hand a notepad was in his hands. With his fingers and with his magic he quickly wrote a very long note. He left it on the ground. Magnus whistled and called out for his cat. "Come on Chairman Meow." he said to him, talking him up into his arms. "Daddy needs to go away now, and you need someone to take care of you. Let's go."

Magnus rubbed his hands together a bit too fast, making some blood drip onto the floor and onto the ends of the note that he had wrote. Magnus opened a portal and walked inside, not even bothering to look back. He walked out and was met to a huge mansion. Magnus approached the front door and knocked on the door. The door opened and in the hallway stood another warlock. "Magnus Bane..." he said. "What can I do for you?"

"Lorenzo Rey... I am handing off my title as the High Warlock of Brooklyn to you." Magnus said.

Lorenzo looked at Magnus like he was crazy. "What?" he asked. "Bane, what is going on? You've never wanted me to be a High Warlock. Of anyplace. Has something happened in the downworld or in Brooklyn, and you want me to take the blame?"

"No. I just... I just have to leave. And I won't be coming back. But with this title, would you just do one thing for me?"

"Anything Bane."

Magnus held out the grey cat. Lorenzo took him and watched as Chairman Meow curled up and around him. "This is Chairman Meow. Do me a favor and take care of him. He can't come where I am going."

Lorenzo started to pet Chairman's head and he looked up at Magnus. "Bane... I may not like you or really care for your well-being as a warlock, but is something going on with you? You do hate me after all. Why are you giving me the title and no one else? There are hundreds of warlocks in Brooklyn. Why not choose one of them?"

Magnus gave a weak smile. "Consider this my last act of kindness here in New York. Goodbye Lorenzo. Take care of the people."

"I will... goodbye Bane."

Lorenzo watched as Magnus walked away from the mansion and into a portal that he opened. Lorenzo looked down at Chairman Meow and pet him softly again. He closed the door and walked inside his mansion.

The wedding had turned out to be a great ceremony. Alec had even kissed Lydia, which in all honesty made him want to barf. But it was over and now he was standing in the middle of the dance floor of his reception. He was holding Lydia's hand and waist as they swung around with the sound of shadowhunter music. Maryse and Robert were watching from the corner of the room and enjoying the dance. Alec couldn't focus on the music or his parents of his brand new wife. He was focused on Magnus. More importantly, what he said to Magnus. How he said that he hated him. When in reality he didn't. He couldn't hate him. He was such a great guy. "Alec..." Lydia called, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes... yes I am okay." Alec said, spinning her to the other side. "Why?"

"Alec... you're upset. I can feel it from the rune. What is it?"

"It's nothing Lydia. I promise."

Lydia took Alec's hand and pulled him away from the group. She took him back inside of the Institute and into their new shared office. Lydia crossed her arms across her chest and she looked at Alec. "Alec... what happened? Is it... is it about you and me? Because I know that you're gay. It's okay."

"No... no, it's not that." Alec said, shaking his head and forcing himself to sit down on the couch in the office. "I messed up. I messed up so bad."

"What happened? I know that you didn't want to marry me... it's fine." Lydia saw Alec's eyes start to fill with tears. "Is this... is this about Magnus?"

"Yes... yes. I messed it up. I messed it all up!" Alec cried, shoving his head in his hands. He sighed and shook his head in anger. Lydia pulled up her dressed and cupped Alec's cheek.

"Hey... you deserve to be happy, okay?" she said. "Go on. Go see him. Make things right with him. Besides... having an affair in a marriage that you didn't want is alright in my book."

Alec nodded and got up. He looked at her and smiled. "Thank you Lydia... thank you. I won't be gone long."

"Go make things right. I'll be fine."

Alec pulled off his blazer and rolled up his sleeve, activating his speed rune. He ran as fast as he could out of the Institute and into the streets of New York. He ran as fast as he could towards Brooklyn and to Magnus' loft. He ran up the steps and towards Magnus' apartment. He knocked on the door. "Magnus! Magnus, open the door! Magnus, I need to talk to you! Magnus? Magnus!?"

Alec looked around worriedly. There was no ward around the door, which made Alec even more scared than he already was for the High Warlock. He drew a rune on the door and watched as a hole exploded in it. Alec ran inside looking around to find the loft lacking all the things that made it Magnus' home. The newly wed shadowhunter ran from the main room to the office and bedroom, finding it to be empty as well and no sign of Magnus. "Magnus!" Alec yelled out, looking around everywhere for the warlock that he had accidentally hurt. "Magnus? Are you here? Magnus?"

Alec went to walk into Magnus' kitchen when he heard a crunch underneath his loafer. He looked down and saw a white piece of paper, the words on it being hidden from his shoe and foot. Alec leaned down and picked it up, looking at the handwriting that he had recognized from Magnus' many fire messages to him, Jace and the Institute. Alec held the piece of paper in his hands, not bothering to read the note. He noticed the bottom corner covered in blood. And Alec could already take a lucky guess to who the blood belonged to. Alec's eyes went to the top of the note.

Dear whom to ever it may concern,

If you are finding this note, you are either another warlock looking for my magical help, another downworlder looking for my expert clientell or a nephilim, coming to beg for my help finding Valentine without even bothering to pay my bill. But whoever it is reading this note, now first and foremost that I am no longer the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I have handed off my title to another Brooklyn warlock named Lorenzo Rey. If you need help from a High Warlock, you should go see him.

If you are looking for me in particular, I am sorry to inform you that you will not find me Where I am going not many can or will follow. I won't be coming back to this loft, this neighborhood, Brooklyn or New York. If you are a shadowhunter reading this, you won't be able to track me. Especially not with parabatai tracking. You won't find me. For those that I might know, thank you so much for being there for me and taking care of me. And for those that might just be clients or insolent shadowhunters, there is no need to worry for your bills. There is no need to pay me back anymore. Goodbye friends, family and shadowhunter soldiers.

Yours dearest,

Magnus Bane

Alec's vision started to blur and he dropped the note as his hand went over his mouth. Tears fell from his eyes as he backed away from the note. "No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Alec cried, walking back and crashing into the wall behind him. He knew the words that were written on the note. He knew what the words meant. He knew what they always meant in letters like this. This wasn't any normal note. It was a suicide note. Alec fell down on the ground and sobbed. He killed him. He killed Magnus. Magnus was gone. Alec had always thought at first that Magnus would live longer than Alec. That Alec would die either in the line of fire or from natural causes and Magnus would survive for longer. But Magnus was dead now. He was dead before him. Alec sobbed loudly, screaming and shaking his head. "No... no please... by the angel, no!" Alec cried, not sure how long he had been in that position on the ground. Crying hard and shaking around like he was in so much pain. Alec didn't even hear a loud bang on the door. He didn't witness someone climb in through the hole that he had made in the door. He didn't even register when that same person knelt down and shook his shoulders.

"Alec!" he yelled. "Alec! Alec, hey! Hey, can you hear me? Alec!"

Alec shook his head and saw Jace in front of him, shaking him with his eyes filled with worry. "He... He... He's gone." he cried.

"Who?" Jace asked, shaking him more as he moved his head while sobbing. "Who? Who's gone Alec? Talk to me, hey. Who's gone?"

"Magnus... Magnus... he's gone." Alec sobbed.

"We'll find the bastards that took him, we'll bring him back safely. Okay?" Jace whispered, moving to help his parabatai stand up. "We will find Magnus, don't worry."

"No... no Jace. We can't. We can't bring him back. We can't and it's all my fault."

"Alec, talk to me. What happened to Magnus? You didn't get him taken so don't-"

"He's dead Jace!" Alec screamed, pushing away and shaking his head in anger.

"What? Alec... Alec he's not-"

"He killed himself... because of me. He's gone Jace."

Jace looked at Alec, feeling his pain and sadness in his parabatai bond. "Alec how do you know? How do you know that it isn't something else?"

Alec grabbed the fallen piece of paper on the floor and handed it to Jace. Jace quickly read the note and he gave the same expression that Alec did. He knew suicide notes as well. They had both had their shares of the suicides of downworlders and shadowhunters that hated their angel blood. Jace looke over at Alec and he pulled his brother and parabatai in a hug. "Alec... you didn't kill him. This isn't your fault." Jace whispered.

"I want him back." Alec sobbed. "I just... I just want him back."

"I'm so... so sorry Alec. I'm so so sorry."

Alec huged Jace tightly and cried hard into his shoulder. He had killed Magnus. He killed him. It's his fault that Magnus was gone.

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