A/N: Haha, so I've been gone for quite awhile now. I'd like to say I've matured a bit since my last post. I still suck at writing, but with better grammar. Well, without further adieu, here you go!
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"Sirius, I'm leaving," He had said to me.
"Where are you going?" I looked over and saw packed bags by the door.
"Remus, where are you going?" I asked again nervously.
"Sirius, I can't do this anymore!" He looked so broken to me.
"I don't understand! Why!? Please tell me what's going on!" I pleaded.
"I saw you Sirius, I see you every time you go away to that hotel with some cheap male-whore!" Tears were streaming down his face. I couldn't bear to look at them. I didn't mean to cause them. I have no explanation for what I do. I have issues with commitment, I always feel like I'm choking when I'm in a serious relationship. I love Remus so much! I don't know why! It's so god damn frustrating. I shouldn't want to be with any other man.
"I'm so sorry, Remus, please don't go!" I begged.
"It's too late. I can't stay here, it just hurts too much!" He moved towards the door with his bags.
"Please" I said pathetically. He turned back, shook his head and walked out.
That was the last time I saw him. Once he left I wouldn't leave the house. I hoped he would come back and I wanted to be there. I didn't want to n ot be there and him think I had found a new man.
Many people tried to get me out, to meet new people, to move on. I always said the same thing.
"But, what if Moony comes home?"
Some looked at my piteously, some even went so far as to tell me he wasn't coming back. They were promptly dumped out.
So I spent my days ghosting around my house, reading mostly. I chuckled to myself. Remus would have never believed I read anything close to resembling a book. I felt a sharp pain in my heart. It hurt to think about him, even now five months later.
It was a normal day in the house, reading and doing little else. I heard the doorbell. I had stopped getting excited when the bell rang. It was never my Remus. I walked to the door and opened it. It was Harry, of course it was.
"Hey Padfoot, how are you doing?" He asked me.
I just gave him a look that clearly said "How well do you think I'm doing?"
"I see" Harry said slowly.
"Well? What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Well,' He started, "I've just been to see Remus," My heart gave an involuntary jerk. "Sirius, He has got a new boyfriend, and they're both really happy. I think it's time to stop dwelling in the past. He's not coming back."
The information came so fast. I was frozen. My Remus had truly moved on. No, I thought, not my Remus anymore.
"I think you should leave now, Harry."
"Sirius, I'm so sorry," He got up and left.
I had been preparing myself for this, but it still hurt like hell. I laid in my bed for days, refusing visitors, crying constantly. It was as if he had just left. Finally, I decided. I was going to leave this whole thing behind. Move somewhere else, France, I think. I hear it's wonderful. I packed swiftly. No messy goodbyes just pack and go. I had enough money to stay in a hotel for a few days before I find a flat.
And so I left, never to return to this pain. At least I hoped.
