suicide prevention fic. contains some possibly triggering themes. tread carefully.
Eyes that were puffy, cheeks that were red and swollen from being rubbed at one too many times.
Rubbing at heavily bagged eyes that show of weeks and weeks of missing out on rest.
He felt disgusting, ugly, grotesque.
He wanted to puke anything he ever eated, he wanted to gouge out his voice box, he wanted to mutilate his wrists.
A list of things he hated about himself, things he wantes to change.
Blue eyes that were clouded with happiness, smiles that were watery as they tried to hold back the long, staved nights of self-loathing and dwelling on mistakes.
Nya.
He forced Nya to love him, she never really loved him. If she fell in love with...
Cole.
Cole gave up Nya for him. He was the reason that their friendship went south.
Least valuable ninja.
Again, again, again.
These turmoil of thoughts that consumed his inwards began to surface.
Jay wasn't exactly needed - in matter of fact, he wasn't something to be dwelled on.
Jay glared down at the pill bottle, the small blue and red pills gathered in handfulls within his palm.
Without hesitation, Jay shoved them into his mouth, tilting his head back.
What are you doing!?" An urgent voice came from the doorway.
Jay quickly turned his head, flight instincts kicking in.
Zane, with his hands up, slowly approached the fragile teen, "Hey... don't do it, please..."
Jay didn't make a move, debating whether or not he should swallow and then run so the meds could take effect or hear the nindroid out.
Running was out of the question, as if reading his mind, Zane had kicked the door shut and stood closer to the door.
Blue eyes wearily watched as Zane took careful steps towards the vulnerable ninja.
"Jay, please think this through."
He already had.
"Think of who you'd leave behind..."
Sure, they'd be sad for a bit. But that's just about it, he's not something to be dwelled on.
"Despite everything, you're still loved by everyone at home," the nindroid began as he gestured towards the door and was surely referring to Cole, Kai, Nya, Lloyd, and Wu.
Jay's bottom lip began to tremble.
"Dinner is always waiting on the table, you know."
Jay turned his head quickly and spat the pills out onto the bed sheets as tears began to pour.
Zane took the pill bottle and smashed it within his iron grip- relishing his anger to the pills that nearly took his brother's life.
The lightning ninja barely felt Zane sit beside him and wrap familiar titanium arms around him. Jay couldn't look at the pitiful expression - it was too much for him.
Jay whimpered quietly as his sobs cease to small hiccups here and there.
"You are needed, important, and loved..." Zane said in a soft tone of voice that Jay could only describe it as something a mother would say to a child.
"If we saw your... Jay, things wouldn't be the same. It would hurt us. Because that means we failed as a friend - a brother."
He was loved.
"You help so many of us - You taught me happiness. Before you, I didn't know what that felt like; your laughter, your jokes, your ideas, they brighten everyone's day."
He wasn't useless.
"You're human. All humans are flawed one way or another; but that's what makes them beautiful."
He wasn't perfect.
"We're here."
And that's okay.
Hi!! Peaches here. The point of this fanfic is to attempt to describe that suicide is a growing epidemic that needs assistance. Please know that you're not alone. You are loved and you are human. It's not fair to give yourself unrealistic standards to follow. So please, take care.
If anyone needs me, I'm here. Please, before making any life-changing decisions, talk to someone.
HOTLINES :
(800)273-8255…..1-800-273-TALK National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(877)838-2838…..1-877-Vet2Vet Veterans Peer Support Line
(800)784-2432…..1-800-SUICIDA Spanish Speaking Suicide Hotline
(877)968-8454…..1-877-YOUTHLINE Teen to Teen Peer Counseling Hotline
(800)472-3457…..1-800-GRADHLP Grad Student Hotline
(800)773-6667…..1-800-PPD-MOMS Post partum depression hotline