A/N: Inspired by HighQueen's brilliant fic "Losing Control"
He doesn't notice it at first, in all his rage and fury. His anger consumes him and all he wants to do kill all those fucking titans. He doesn't notice when his eyes linger for a short time on his fellow soldiers. He doesn't notice his teeth parting slightly and that faint desire for... for something.
He notices for the first time in the forest of giant trees, as he is kneeling over the female titan his dead comrades littering the forest floor.
"I'll tear you apart, rip you to pieces and eat you!"
He feels hungry, so hungry it's almost unbearable at that moment. He loses himself in the fight soon after forgets about it in the wake of his shock at the titans familiar stance. He is eaten again, then saved by Mikasa and Levi. He forgets it in his grief and loss and his utter frustration in his failure.
He is sitting on a balcony in the castle, staring over the forest and the great walls in the distance. An empty tray laying forgotten by his side. Mikasa finds him soon after.
She sits next to him quietly.
"Eren" she asks softly "Are you alright, you didn't come down for dinner."
"I wanted to be alone" he said "And no I'm not alright" fists tightened as he grit his teeth.
"I failed Mikasa, with all this power I have, I'm still a goddamn failure, I'm still weak. " he choked out.
"I thought it was going to be different now, I can turn into a goddamn titan Mikasa. I can fight them at their own level" he squeezed his eyes trying not let his tears leak out.
"And still, my team dies, everyone around me dies" his tears are flowing "what the fuck is wrong with me"
Mikasa comes closer and pulls him onto a tight embrace, her heart breaking for him. He accepts her easily, not resiting her like he is wont to do these days. She feels a little happy, though she immediately feels guilty. He clings to her sobbing.
"Oh Eren. You're not weak" she strokes his hair. "Have you forgotten, all the times you saved us, the times you saved me. "
"At that cabin you came to me six years ago when I lost everything, and in trost when I gave up on everything." He held her tighter.
"And again when you helped us escape back over the walls, and again when you took back Trost"
"B-But I" he pulled away from her.
"Eren!" she says sharply "You are not weak Eren, you are strong, so don't give up, and don't stop fighting." she tugged at her scarf her eyes shining "Have you forgotten what you told me."
He stared at her for a moment wide eyed. Fight, yes thats what he had told her all those years ago, you fight or you die. How could he have forgotten. He smiled at her after a moment.
"You're right Mikasa" he said reaching up and touching her scarf, if if it was anyone else doing that, besides Armin" she would broken their fingers he thought amused "I'm sorry"
She smiled back at him, a rarity these days, wiping the tears of his face. She was right, he can't stop fighting. There would be more blood on his hands, many of his friends will die before all this is over, but he won't stop fighting until he wiped those fuckers of the face the earth. Although as he stared at Mikasa's figure next to him on the balcony, he realized something. He also had something else to fight for.
He couldn't help blushing, silently thankful it was night.
He got up quickly pulling Mikasa to her feet. "Come on, I'm starving"
"But you just ate Eren" she said tilting her feet.
"Just some bread and cheese" he scoffed. "I need some meat."
"Careful, you're starting to sound like Sasha" She said smiling up at him.
He snorted pulling her to the door of his small room.
He was running through the streets, wreathed in fire and missing an arm and a leg. His teeth jagged and sharp bared open in a furious roar. Somehow he caught up to that traitorous bitch. She turned around and he could see the primal fear on her was lost in his rage as he slammed into her, blind to soldiers sent scattering at his charge.
Kill her...tear her apart...hurt her... devour her.
He wanted to hurt her, her face was crushed between his fingers. Her screams were so delicious. He needed to have her, right now. She made to elbow him but she was sloppy, he caught it his mouth and bit down. Bone shattered, muscles tore, and the blood flowed down his mouth, it dissolved on the way down his throat. He roared his frustration and hunger drowning out her screams.
His arm had grown back, he pushed her face down into the ground, cement and dirt exploding out from her.
And then he tore to pieces.
All that was left was mangled torso, pieces of her limbs scattered around. He could see her, part of her neck torn out, shoulders and blonde hair poking out. He was so Hungry. He leaned down mouth parting and ignoring the screams around him crushed her between his jaws. Bone shattered, muscles tore, and the blood flowed down his mouth, but this time it did not dissolve. He swallowed and screamed his joy. He was lost in his rage and joy and hunger. He could barely make out the forms around him, didn't understand what they were screaming. He only knew one thing.
He was still hungry.
He looked out at the sea of strange moving blurs. A flash of red caught his eye, dangling from one of the creatures, it moved closest to him yelling at him. He was so hungry. He reached out quicker than his bulk should allow and grabbed it. The screaming from the others became louder more panicked. The thing in his arms struggled still yelling at him.
All he knew was that he was hungry so he brought it to his parted mouth and bit down.
Bone shattered, muscles tore, and the blood flowed down his mouth.