Title: Artie the Barbarian
Author: LadyNRA
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None that I can think of
Characters: Artie
Genre: Action/Adventure with a dash of humor tossed in
Disclaimer: The producers and Syfy may own it but I'm taking the time to play with the characters (especially Artie as always) for a little while.
Summary: Artie ends up participating in a grand adventure against his will
Author's Note: This started out as a joking statement in an email to Kritckow and she said (to paraphrase), oh yeah, I can envision that one little scene so why don't you do something about bringing the idea to life. She was right of course. It came together and was completed in three days. Many thanks to my beta reader who makes revision process almost painless (whew!)
ARTIE THE BARBARIAN
by LadyNRA
Walking through the portal was his first mistake. His second was not walking back through it. Oh it was true that the shimmering window made the curling hairs on the back of his head stand straight out, bristling with apprehension even before he was consciously aware of the first tingles of fear. Only problem was that the darn thing had materialized inside the Warehouse, which meant that he had to do something. He couldn't just stand back and admire the beauty of the swirling doorway into God knew where without investigating.
Well acquainted with virtually all of the less obscure artifacts neatly arranged on the shelves, he wracked his brilliant mind for a list of items that would produce this kind of reaction. He couldn't think of a single one. Naturally that meant one of two things. He'd either forgotten about this particular artifact or it was ancient and obscure, not something listed as dangerous or not noted as possessing properties at all. That latter issue could cause problems at any given moment. If this event was artifact induced, as he strongly suspected it had to be, it meant the artifact may not have been studied or had intentionally kept its true purpose hidden, triggered now for some unexplained and unanticipated reason.
Artie blew out a long deep breath and rubbed his goatee in deep thought, the skritch skritch of it echoing in the open spaces. The puzzle of this whole thing perplexed him enough to keep him standing before the dancing lights for longer than was prudent. What was more imprudent was taking his first steps toward it. True, those steps were hesitant and wary. Equally true was that his mind was furiously going through his mental catalog of whatever information he might have missed as well a lengthy battle tested list of "what NOT to do" warnings. In retrospect, those listed items should have hollered at him to stand still and weigh every option before proceeding.
There was one reason Artie had remained in Warehouse 13 when most other agents had either died or run screaming into the hills. That reason was a deep unquenchable curiosity, a thirst for knowledge, a hunger for solving the mysteries of countless artifacts both stored in the facility or still out there waiting to be collected. Stupid curiosity, being what it was, urged him to take a closer look, and so he did.
Instantly, he regretted it. He felt something tug at his shirt, not like stiff boney fingers of death, but rather like an all encompassing magnetic pull, his body no longer flesh and blood but another magnet, opposite poles facing each other, and his whole body was drawn forward.
Stiffening spine and knees, Artie tried to lean away from it. Nothing happened aside from an increase in his forward momentum. Ancient Converses slid on the polished concrete floor. His glasses flew off, soaring into the opening. He flailed his arms, which for some reason were slightly more mobile than the rest of him, but not enough to grab anything to halt his forward progress.
A strange noise cut through his growing panic. Rattling, chattering, nails on a blackboard. Through blurred vision, he saw something vibrating on a shelf near the opening. At first, he wasn't certain what it was, but then he got closer and the image was more defined. A helm, ancient and coppery colored, twin metallic wings fixed over the ear guards, was rocking, chattering, bumping, and sliding…toward him and toward the opening.
When his head and chest went over his center of gravity, Artie feared he'd smash his face onto the hard surface below him. He started to raise his hands for protection. His body kept leaning forward, feet dragging behind him. Closer to the portal now…frighteningly so. He could have touched it had he not been paralyzed by terror. He had time for one word, only one, before his head entered the swirling lights.
"Myka!"