A/N: so finally, after reading a ton of Life With Derek fan fictions, I was inspired to make my own! I really like the show, and I began writing, and the words just flowed out. This first chapter is just mainly conversation - descriptions and such shall be present in later chapters. I don't REALLY know where I'm going with this - I want to write my very first Dasey story (i am a HUGE fan) but that's pretty much all I know regarding how this story will turn out. This is my very first fan fiction EVER so any suggestions appreciated! Please review and tell me if you like what's written so far, any feedback etc! Thanks a million :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek
It was Friday night and Nora Venturi was exhausted. As she fumbled with the key and unlocked the front door to her house, she envisioned the soft mattress on her bed. No. She shook her head, throwing open the door. First she was going to put away her art things, then she was going to take a nice, hot bubble bath and soak her aching body. After the bath, she was going to accidentally mix a sleeping pill in each of the kids' dinner drinks to knock them unconscious so she and George could unwind together with some wine, romantic music, dancing...
George sat on the old withered moth-eaten couch, flipping through channels. He smiled as Nora entered the house. "Hi, sweetie. How was work?"
"The usual." Nora threw her bag on the floor and went to join him before her legs gave out. "Ridiculously boring. Sometimes I think I ought to take Casey's advice and go back to school and choose a more eventful career path."
George chuckled, massaging her back in a very soothing manner. "Come practice law with me." He leaned forward and began kissing her on the neck. Nora giggled and pushed him away.
"Law involves years of school. Maybe I should wait until after Derek and Casey graduate so we can start saving up," she decided.
George groaned. "I keep forgetting they're graduating! At least one of them will land a scholarship."
Nora smiled. "Don't forget Derek and hockey."
The front door flew open and an exhausted Marti, Edwin, and Lizzie sauntered into the living room. Nora looked up at them as they hung their coats up.
"Hey guys! How was...?" she broke off.
Lizzie rolled her eyes. She pointed to herself. "Soccer practice." She pointed to Edwin. "Debate meeting." She pointed to Marti. "Ballet class."
Nora nodded encouragingly. "Right. So how were all those things?"
Marti threw her little shoulder bag, stuffed with her ballet leotards, a blanket, and a tight black shirt, across the room at her father. "Tiring. I'm going to go take a hot shower." She ran up the stairs.
Edwin collapsed on the couch beside his stepmother. "Worse meeting ever."
"Aw. You wanna talk about it?" Nora asked sympathetically, rubbing his back.
"Sure, but I think I'll go down my problems in Coke first." Lizzie followed him into the kitchen, still clutching her gym bag.
George placed Marti's things on the little coffee table. "At least we still have some peace and quiet before - "
"DER-REK!"
Both Nora and George groaned in unison as the front door slammed open. Nora could feel her growing migraine intensify as the oldest step-siblings rushed into the house, the door slamming shut behind them.
"I. Hate. You!" Casey screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at Derek's chest. "I positively loathe you!"
Derek rolled his eyes. "You realize that would probably affect me more if you didn't say it every single freaking day of my now sorry existence, don't you?"
"Derek," George warned.
"Oops. Sorry, Dad. Well, I'm off to do my homework." Derek threw his hockey equipment on the floor and was about to prance up the stairs when Casey grabbed his hand and pushed him against the side wall.
"Not so fast, Venturi," she snarled. "I am so not finished with you yet."
Derek exhaled sharply. "He had it coming, Casey."
"You are a pig, Derek! You just did that to totally upset me!"
"It's not like I did it to you - "
Casey whirled around to face her mother and stepfather who were slowly trying to turn into wallpaper. "Aren't you going to even ask what happened!?"
Nora sighed. Why bother? "All right, then. What happened?" she asked warily.
"Derek and the rest of his useless barbaric hockey squad pranked Noel after cheerleading practice today! They - "
"Casey, he had it coming," snapped Derek. "You should have seen that stupid poem he wrote about us hockey players! He insulted us in every way possible! He - "
"Derek, I don't care," Casey growled, her eyes flashing dangerously. Always a danger sign, thought Nora. "He's my friend, and he didn't mean to insult you, per se, he was just poking fun at you - "
"Well, we were poking fun back by engineering that epic Noel-getting-downed-in-chile scenario! Truman thought it was funny - "
"Truman is an idiot, and I don't even like him anymore! He is a conniving moronic barbaric freak! Besides, you deserved the things Noel wrote about you! It was kind of my idea - "
"It was WHAT??!"
" - payback for that prank you played on me last week! The one where you - "
"So you decided to give Noel the idea to - "
"It was meant more for you, not the entire team, so - "
" - should have downed you in chile!"
"You will do no such thing!"
"All right ENOUGH!" roared George, causing Nora to jump. The teenagers turned to look at their parents in alarm.
"Listen carefully, for I will only say this once more!" George snarled. Nora had to admit he looked frightening. His nostrils were flaring, his face was beet red, his hands were balled into fists by his sides, and his eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
"Dad," Derek choked out in laughter, "chill - "
"Derek." George was positively shaking in fury. "Shut up." Edwin and Lizzie, upon hearing George yell, ran out of the kitchen. They were accustomed to Derek and Casey fighting. But George trying to get them to shut up? This was a first.
"I am sick of this arguing, do you two understand me?" George asked quietly. Nora could feel goosebumps up and down her arms. "No don't speak just yet," he added angrily as both teenagers made to open their mouths. "You have been living together more than two years now. Nora and I could understand any differences you two might have had when we all first moved in together. But now this is just starting to get ridiculous. Nora and I refuse to count down the days until the two of you graduate, so if you don't put a cork in it there will be some very serious ramifications."
Casey looked so forlorn that Nora found herself jumping to her feet, right behind George. "Come on, you guys, Edwin and Lizzie are the same age, and they get along just fine! Why can't you two at least try to be friends?"
"Mom, I have tried! It never works, Derek is an - "
"Derek, this goes especially for you," George exploded. "You have been acting pathetically immature. Finding ways to torment your stepsister and pranking her and her friends, and making fun of her...God, Derek, what are you - three? Grow up! You are a senior in high school! If you invested the energy you use in pranking Casey and geared it towards something more productive, like say, your studies or even getting a good athletics scholarship, imagine the wonders you could work with your life!"
Derek rolled his eyes. "Dad, I am all set for a hockey scholarship. I - "
"No you are not. Keep in mind you need to graduate high school in order to go to university!"
"And Casey," Nora piped in, "honey, why must you take things Derek says to you so seriously? If you took the energy you invest yelling at him and geared it towards..." Nora broke off. "Um...towards..."
It was Casey's turn to roll her eyes. "Fine. I get it." She sighed. "I will cooperate with him. So long as he cooperates with me."
"Casey, if you can't even take a little teasing - "
"Derek, it's not teasing it's TORMENTING!"
"You two can't even get along when planning how to get along," Nora interrupted exasperatedly.
"Oh, I wouldn't be too worried if I were you, Nora," George said, a wicked glint in his eyes. His tone of voice was too casual. "Casey and Derek are now officially forced to get along."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" Derek grumbled.
George grinned broadly. "Derek, you do want to graduate with a hockey scholarship and go off to the University of Toronto to play on a major league team, don't you?" he wondered in mock curiosity. "And Casey, you do want to move to New York and get into Columbia and major in journalism, don't you?"
The pair of teenagers stared at him.
"Yes," said Derek slowly. About the same time, Casey said, "Of course."
"Well, then, here's how this is going to work. Nora and I will not let you graduate unless you two manage to cooperate and be nice to each other everyday until your graduating ceremonies."
A shocked silence ensued. Nora gaped at her husband, unsure of whether she liked this plan or not. Derek was the first to react. "Come on, Dad, how can you keep us from graduating?"
"With you and your current marks, it won't be so hard," George said coldly. "Despite how much scholarship money you two receive, you will need basic support from us, which we will not provide unless you meet our requirements. Plus," he turned to his eldest son, "I may just force you to go work on Uncle Tommy's farm in Alabama if you continue driving this family mad."
Derek's jaw dropped open. "You can't do that! Dad - "
"Watch me," George sneered.
"And Casey," Nora added, "I will force you to join me in window designing. And believe me, the job sucks."
Casey's eyes were filled with horror. "You guys are serious?" she double-checked.
George nodded solemnly. "Absolutely. If you two want to chase after your dreams you two must meet our demands which include no more pranking each other, no more yelling or screaming at each other, no more arguing, and no more back-talking! And you two must agree to be friends, which includes listening to each other, being nice to each other, and treating each other with respect. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
Derek burst into laughter. "Dad, you can't actually expect me to be friends with - "
"Derek," George enunciated slowly. "UFT versus Alabama. Your choice. My demands."
"Why don't you two go to your rooms?" Nora suggested, feeling just a tad bit sorry for them.
"Yes, go," George encouraged. "I'll be up in a bit bringing my demands in writing for you two to sign. We'll call you when dinner's ready."
Slowly and in a daze, Derek and Casey walked up the steps into their rooms, their doors closing shut softly in unison. Nora turned worriedly to George. "You don't think this is too harsh?" she asked quietly.
George shrugged looking happy. "Probably. Oh well. Now we can do this in peace." He grabbed Nora's arm and dragged her to the couch, flipping the TV channels until he found what he was looking for: a nice romantic comedy. Upon realizing that George's yelling spree had finished, Edwin and Lizzie retired to the kitchen once again. Edwin opened the newly-bought box of chocolate chip cookies as Lizzie sat on a stool in the island.
"That was intense," he noted. "Think this will keep our sibs from eating each other alive?"
"Doubtful," mused Lizzie. "They'll find some way to try to kill each other!"