"Good night. GENTLEMEN."
The Colonel turned and strode towards his quarters. He had never before used such a sharply disgusted tone of voice when speaking to his command crew and it stung them, it stung them to the core. They really couldn't blame him, though. To a man, each one of them had given Tiger no chance at all of escaping from the Gestapo's clutches and had more or less given her up for as good as dead, not even worthy of an attempted rescue.
After an awkward, brief moment of palpably uncomfortable tension, Carter could stand it no longer. He stepped forward to address his commanding officer.
"Uh, Colonel...you, Lone Ranger. Me, Tonto!" He raised his right hand at the last, perhaps in an attempt at a humorous reference to his Sioux heritage.
Baker stood up and did the same as he said, "Me, too!"
LeBeau nodded and chimed in as well, "Moi aussi. Lone Ranger? Tonto!"
Newkirk sat silent for a long moment, wondering what in the blazes had gotten into his mates. Lone Ranger? Tonto? He suddenly felt everyone's gaze burning into him and he decided he might as well make it unanimous. He raised his head and turned to face his CO as he said, "Me too, sir!"
The Colonel nodded tightly, a relieved smile on his face. Now that he had his men back with him, he could begin planning the operation to rescue Tiger in earnest. He stepped into his quarters and quietly closed the door behind him.
The men remained still for a moment, each one silently recriminating himself. What on earth had they been thinking? That the Colonel was just going to leave the beautiful French spy to certain torture and execution at the hands of the Gestapo? They really should've known better.
Now that things were back to normal, Newkirk decided to break the mood. He craned his neck towards Carter and muttered, "Who's the Lone Ranger? Come to that, who's bloody Tonto?"
Carter rolled his eyes and frowned, a bit flummoxed by Newkirk's questions. He dropped down to a seat beside his English friend and said, "Good grief, Peter! You've never heard of the Lone Ranger?"
"Would I 'ave asked you if I 'ad? Use yer brain, Andrew!" snapped Newkirk.
Carter continued on, nonplussed by his English friend's insult. "That was our favorite radio program!"
"Our?" asked Newkirk. "I thought you 'ad five sisters, Andrew. Wouldn't think girls would go for somethin' like that."
"Well, yeah, they didn't care for it too much even though they listened with us." He dropped his chin into his palm and spoke almost wistfully. "I was talking about my cousin, Angry Rabbit."
LeBeau tapped Carter on the shoulder, "Go on, finish it!"
Carter sighed, "Angry Rabbit Who Has Thorn in Cotton Tail. C'mon fellas, please don't start that again, okay?"
Baker stepped in before things got out of hand. "The Lone Ranger was our favorite program too, Andrew. That is, me and my brothers."
Carter nodded, "Yeah, we would listen to the Lone Ranger till the cows came home!"
Newkirk rolled his eyes and let that one go even though he was still curious about this "Lone Ranger" character his American friends were so enamored of.
"Hey Andrew! Remember the announcer?"
"Do I!"
The two Europeans in Colonel Hogan's command crew looked on rather bemusedly as Carter and Baker reenacted the introduction to the weekly radio program they remembered so vividly.
Carter jumped up and began a rendition of the radio program's distinctive theme song.
"Duh! Duddle-uh, duddle-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duddle-uh, duddle-uh,..." he continued in a manic rendition of the Finale of the William Tell Overture.
LeBeau and Newkirk couldn't hold back their laughter as Baker joined in for the last few bars. He then segued into the breathless introduction to the program as spoken by the radio announcer.
"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver! The Lone Ranger!"
Carter nodded his agreement, a huge grin on his face.
Newkirk, on the other hand, shook his head in disbelief. "It's amazin' that you two can remember all of that!"
"Why wouldn't we, Peter?" answered Baker. "I listened to the show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!"
"Me, too!" said Carter. "Of course, we had to do our after-school chores first. Then we'd all sit on the floor in front of the fireplace and wait for the radio to warm up. Mom would always make a pot of hot cocoa for us to drink along with her oatmeal cookies." He sighed at the memory. "She made the best oatmeal cookies!"
Baker added, "My mom made really good peanut butter cookies. We'd always have those and a cold glass of milk while we listened to the radio." He sighed as well. "Those sure were good times. I miss her."
Carter nodded. "I miss my mom, too!"
The memories of childhood and loved ones so very far away sent the Americans' mood on an unintended nosedive and they remained silent for a few moments. LeBeau jumped in to revive the conversation and hopefully lift his comrades' spirits. He laid his hand on Newkirk's shoulder as he spoke.
"André, you have not yet explained this 'Lone Ranger' to us. Who was he? What did he do?"
Carter thought a moment before he said, "Well, he was a Texas Ranger...,"
Newkirk rolled his eyes as he interrupted with, "Oh right, what other kind of ranger would 'e be?"
"As I was saying, he was a Texas Ranger who was the lone survivor of an ambush. His brother and the rest of the rangers with them were shot down in cold blood by Butch Cavendish and his gang."
"Butch Cavendish? Who's 'e?" asked Newkirk.
"He was a real bad man! He was an outlaw who rustled, robbed and killed. That's why the Texas Rangers were after him, to bring him to justice. The rangers were led into Bryant's Canyon by their guide, who was working for Cavendish. Cavendish and his gang bushwhacked them."
Bushwhacked? thought Newkirk. Should I even ask? He was beginning to feel like he was trapped between the Devil and the deep blue sea and decided not to pose any more questions. He settled his curiosity by assuming that getting bushwhacked was something far worse than being struck by a shrub.
"Cavendish thought he had killed them all so he and his gang left. But they didn't know that one ranger was still alive, even though he was badly wounded."
Baker took over the narrative. "And this is where Tonto shows up! He finds the rangers in the canyon and takes care of the wounded one. He buries the five dead rangers and makes a sixth empty grave so that the Cavendish gang won't know that one ranger is still alive."
Carter nodded, "Uh-huh. So after he recovers, the Lone Ranger and Tonto travel together to find Cavendish and his gang. Tonto became the Lone Ranger's faithful Indian companion."
Newkirk couldn't help himself. "Did they get them?"
"Oh, sure! They caught every one of the gang and eventually sent Cavendish to jail! They also would help out people who were in trouble. They were usually people who didn't have anyone else to help them."
Like Tiger, thought Newkirk. No wonder the Colonel said he felt like the Lone Ranger!
What he said was, "You mean 'e was like Robin Hood? Takin' from the rich, givin' to the poor and saving those who needed 'elp?"
Carter shrugged, "Well, I guess you could say that. Wasn't the Lone Ranger called the Robin Hood of the Old West?"
"Don't look at me!" said Newkirk.
"Naw, Andrew, that was the Cisco Kid!" said Baker.
"Oh, yeah, the Cisco Kid! I remember now!" Carter's face lit up at the memory. "We listened to that show all the time!"
"So did we!"
The Cisco Kid? Now what have I gone and done? wondered Newkirk silently. He decided to let sleeping dogs lie and not even ask. He headed for his bunk as Carter and Baker launched into another animated dialogue on one of their favorite radio programs.
"Ohhh, Cisco!"
"Ohhh, Pancho!"
No copyright infringement or disrespect is intended; this story is done with tongue very much in cheek as we are simply fondly recalling 'those thrilling days of yesteryear with a hearty hi-yo, Silver!'
