AN: I... have... created a monster! OH DEAR LORD! In my boredom due to my getting sick, a stupid idea of Yukari losing a bet took hold... and degenerated into THIS! MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Disclaimer: I do not own Touhou Project. That belongs to ZUN, the drunken master. I do not own any of the several meme-inspired ideas that will appear further in. I have no idea how to actually credit those, just that they may be used by anyone who wishes to make a pass at a Touhou joke.
WARNINGS: Heavy implication of alcohol usage! In minors! (in reference to their appereance). Thus, rated M for safety.
Notes: By the way, an unecesarily long introduction of every single (mis)fortunate soul to appear in this night was, well... necesary. It helps to set a base for all character's personalities if I ever decide to convert this from a crazy one-shot.
Normal speech.
*Actions*
(actions)
Author input (except during characters speaking).
('Thoughts')
"So let the game begin! HER Game of Destiny!"
It was nighttime in Gensokyo. A nice, full moon night, like any other of its kind. A warm breeze fluttered throughout the fields and forests, the lakes and hills, the mountains and caverns, warming everything and everyone in the land of dreams. Gensokyo was at peace; no youkai were in dispute for land or food; all fairies, their childish spirits relaxed by the peace and quite and uniqueness of this night, were tranquil; the humans living in the several villages were content: the night watches wary, but relaxed, and the villagers, asleep, blissful of the world even with all of its many shortcomings, blissful of their own boundless dreams, blissfully ignorant of the excitement and partying occurring in one particular spot of Gensokyo.
Gensokyo was at peace.
It was an uncharacteristic sight for the rather run-down and remote Shrine of Hakurei. The shrine home to Hakurei Reimu, the Maiden of Hakurei, was almost like a relic, in and of itself. Ancient, ancestral, abandoned, secluded… It was all of these and more. Add terms as you may, never exonerate the sheer surprise one may feel of the grand committee that beseeched the miko this night. It was the rarest of occurrences for all of these eccentric and, each in their own way, unique individuals, to be all congregated in a single spot. One may say that only the hand of fate could have called for this event to happen. Another may argue that only the most inane of strikes of unholy (mis)fortune may have brought about this chance meeting. And yet another may childishly voice that it simply happened. But I digress. Either way…
Gensokyo was at peace, the Hakurei Shrine was most certainly not.
To reach the Hakurei Shrine, one had to take a tour down the beaten path from a human village. Past a small wooded area inhabited only by common forest critters, came a slightly bumpy traverse. Eventually reaching the mighty stone stairway, entrance to the shrine, it would take much energy to climb up all the steps without tiring out midway, or a simply marvelous physical disposition. Or, rather than follow all of these ad litteram, everyone chooses to omit the complications and simply flies to the shrine itself. Past the gateway stands a spacious field of earth, with some stepping stones scattered about. Past that stands the Hakurei Shrine, of regular size but of irregular care, home to both the miko who lives in it and an oni girl who idly leeches off of her supplies as she takes swigs from a gourd from which sake seems to pour from infinitely. But our interest lies not in the shrine itself, as even though the lights are on, no one is within the abode. Rather, everyone is the field in front of the building.
Gensokyo was at peace, the Hakurei Shrine was not. Oh, Maiden who resolves disasters, what irony must it be to you!
Everyone, you ask? Everyone since when? Since a couple of hours ago, it's been everyone. Suffice to say that it would have been a much cruder statement, where it asked of the Reimu herself. Indeed, sitting at a low, though ridiculously wide table ('Courtesy of that rich brat and that old Sukima, no doubt. Smug youkai!'), surrounded on almost all sides by dozens of youkai, several fairies, some ghosts and few humans, when she'd rather be snoozing away the night in her futon, was not how Reimu had planned to spend her night. Instead of a Gensokyo-wide disaster that warranted her needing to set out to resolve (sometimes in unwilling company of another), she instead got a disaster in her own shrine. Worse yet was that she could do nothing to stop it, not with the stakes that had been set.
'No… There is a way… I just have to beat all of these weirdoes! If I do, not only will I get to kick them all out of my place, I'll also snatch…', she thought with determination shining within her eyes, directing her burning gaze towards the ever growing pile of money in the center of the table, which in itself already reached the scale of her shrine's roof—It grew exponentially every half an hour or so, '…the Jackpot!'
Indeed. The disaster in itself, here, was subjective. Suffice to say that it did not quite meet the requirements for an incident. Yet.
Gensokyo was at peace, the Hakurei Shrine was not. Oh, Maiden who resolves disasters, what irony must it be to you! But worse yet, the sorrows that pile up tonight are only just beginning!
Most everyone was here. From the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it's charismatic queen who rules the night, Remilia Scarlet, and her cute, though unstable sister, Flandre, together with the former's loyal maid, Izayoi Sakuya, who moves with the utmost of elegance, around whose shoulders was wrapped an athletic arm belonging to the gatekeeper Hong Meiling. Nearby, the demure and cold-faced witch who dominated the seven elements, Patchouli Knowledge, sat with a book beside her, and her ever dedicated but almost hopelessly clumsy assistant, Koakuma, was nervously trying her best to not humiliate herself and her masters with her poor display of expertise. Behind them, playing around like the children they really were, was a contingent of fairy maids, all dressed in the standard maid uniform for the Scarlet Devil Mansion employee.
A few meters off, sitting were a couple of grown women, a purple-dressed blonde with a red-ribbon adorned hat, and pink-haired ghostly princess who merrily chewed away at some pocky; the whimsical, yet powerful, Yakumo Yukari, the youkai of boundaries, and her friend, in light blue, Saigyouji Yuyuko, the administrator of Hakugyokurou, an ever-hungry mouth to feed, and a caring elder figure for her gardener, Konpaku Youmu, who by herself is special in the sense that she is a half-ghost half-human dual wielding swordswoman gardener. Next to the rather suddenly annoyed-looking Yukari—, who, by the way, much to my exorbitant and impossible incompetence as a writer, I failed to mention was outstandingly beautiful, undeniably radiating with womanly charm, and now boasting a subtle, gracious and caring smile that simply accentuated her humbleness at all my deficient adoration of her being—, sat a nine-tailed blonde fox-shikigami—Yakumo Ran. With her white sleeves parted for this night's event, alongside her sat her own shikigami, Chen; a brown haired nekomata youkai who bore red clothes and green hat that fit her head.
Yet a few more meters off, another group was present. Comprised of the three lunarian runaway's, the capricious lunar princess Houraisan Kaguya, the genius medic and scientist, Yagokoro Eirin, and the red-eyed moon-rabbit Udongein Reisen, accompanied by a smaller earth rabbit with a rather trickster quality to her smirk, named Tewi, the four seemed confident. However, one couldn't ignore the girl with long white hair, who, unlike many of the people present at this moment, wore pants, was sitting exactly opposite to Kaguya, and was glaring daggers straight at her, an action reciprocated by the target. Fujiwara no Mokou was her name, and defeating Kaguya in any way was her game. Beside her, looking rather worried, was a horned Kamishirasawa Keine, a were-hakutaku. At the reckless pace that Mokou was going at, Kaguya would end up outlasting her, something that would surely put the Fujiwara in a bad mood. She briefly considered erasing the history of this night ever occurring, but abandoned the idea at seeing Mokou break from her glaring contest with Kaguya to stare at her. Keine sighed .
Also present were a rather strange pair; a red haired woman in an outfit that did little to constrict her bust, sealed by—of all things—a coin tied with a string on a belt. She seemed quite confident of her success, a sake bottle beside her, and on her other side, sat her boss. Boss of Onozuka Komachi, Yamaxanadu(*) Shikieki, revered judge of hell, sat with an uncharacteristically nervous look on her face, her Rod of Remorse all but uncharacteristically, again, forgotten, stuck into the ground at her left. A slight red flush could be seen on her cheeks, as well as a sake cup nearby, indicating that her complete out of character state is to be blamed upon Komachi—the green haired Yama would surely have not done this, or even participate in this game if she was in her right state of mind, that's for sure!
With her ever-child-like face, Moriya Suwako, Goddess of Mountains, grinned even as she knew that her defeat was imminent; such an enjoyable game! Glancing to the side, she sweatdroped as her fellow goddess, the Goddess of Wind and Rain, Yasaka Kanako, smiled smugly as a considerable pile of money was in front of her—all for naught, she knew no matter how much Kanako struggled, that there were only a handful of people in this game that could actually hold for long; it was only a matter of time before Kanako lost. She already had a vague idea of who would be the winner. Glancing to her other side, her sweatdrop grew larger as she witnessed her descendant, Kochiya Sanae, be on the verge of mental breakdown, what with the way she constantly glanced at her hand. Poor Sanae, she though. Even though she was an outsider, she was still incapable of holding her own in a game such as this. At least that showed she's a good girl. Almost analogous to the wind miko's anxiousness, Kagiyama Hina could be seen spinning in place on her seat, daftly showing her hand to the world and being unilaterally useless for those of the Youkai Mountain.
Shameimaru Aya, the ever present reporter tengu, mentally laughed nervously. Though most would see her outwards expression as unflappably self-assured, she knew that she'd need a strike of massive luck in order to recover from the virtual foxhole she'd practically dug herself into. However, she had her pride; she would stick to the end of this madness, and see the game to its end so that she would actually get a veritably unheard-of scoop. That is, of course, she thought, glancing venomously to her right…
IF the other reporter tengu Himekaidou Hatate, did not steal her scoop! Or if the ever meddling and troublesome Inubashiri Momiji did not get in her way just to spite her! ('Copy-cat noob… Smug bitch…')
An oddly calm-looking group sat as well; this one formed by a slightly muscled woman with a rather large bust in a casual attire consistent of a white t-shirt and trans-luminous skirt, whom nearby sat the previously named Ibuki Suika, both onis bearing their horns proudly even as they were the only exception to this group, both losing miserably and laughing boisterously as they drank and drank sake, clearly annoying the pink haired girl, Komeiji Satori, Mistress of the Palace of the Earth Spirits and a mind reader, who sat confidently with a sizable pile of money in front of her and her little sister, Koishi, who smiled like a child in a candy store, giggling as she was petted on the head by the red-haired Kaenbyou Rin, who in turn received unnecessarily strong petting from her friend, Reiuji Utsuho, the hell raven with nuclear powers. Both were nicknamed Orin and Okuu, respectively. Behind the oni, looking rather jealous of the festivity, even though she was too late to be allowed to join in, Mizuhashi Parsee looked on, pouting. ('So jealous… I want to play poker too! Auuuu!')
Clearly representing a different faction altogether, as she eyed the other youkai distrustfully, but sitting all by her lonesome, was a rather darkly dressed girl, accompanied with dark eyes and hair. Distinguishable mismatched red and blue wings, both looking like prongs, stretched from her back. A trident lied beside her. Though she looked distrustful, an underlying look of uneasiness was visible in her eyes… or so it seemed. In reality, she was snickering in her mind. Representing the Myouren Temple and its inhabitants as a whole, was Houjuu Nue, the… well, nue.
Of course, there existed some other groups. There was a small group of misfits (though all in Gensokyo could really be called misfits themselves, when compared to the world their race originated from), made of two fairies, Cirno and Daiyousei, a firefly by the name of Wriggle Nightbug, a rather jolly night sparrow named Mystia Lorelei, and a youkai who seemed slightly shrouded in darkness, even with the considerable illumination provided by the dozens of lanterns hung all over the premises, who simply went by Rumia. All stared with the utmost of concentration at their hands, sans the lighter haired Cirno, who confidently fanned herself with her cards.
Another youkai who was by herself was a red-dressed green-head who smiled placidly even as she won and lost money at an even pace. Though she looked mildly intrigued by her situation, she seemed not to mind much. Kazami Yuuka, the youkai of flowers, did not seem to mind whether she won or lost.
A rather annoyed-looking girl, with a strange hat from which seemed to grow a couple of peaches, was furiously thinking up a storm even as she was on the verge of folding. Hinanai Tenshi did not know which one was better off; her, with her frustration, or her partner, Nagae Iku, who seemed unperturbed by their poor performance even as she seemed to practice dance moves using her index and middle fingers of her unoccupied hand, and her flowing pink cloth. She could be such an airhead, sometimes! Read the weather, her foot! She couldn't even read the mood!
Sitting near the head of the table was Alice Margatroid, the normally cold puppeteer who lives in the Forest of Magic. Normally being the key term here, since tonight she was clearly embarrassed by the incessant chatter of her surrogate mother, Shinki, the goddess of Makai, as they were both losing miserably. Her, because of her 'mother' distracting her, and Shinki due to her lack of attention at the game; she simply chose to participate to spend time with Alice, who in turn, joined in because of…
Kirisame Marisa kept a cool face. She'd managed to spot the trick to succeeding in poker pretty quickly; keep a level head and never let your true emotions show. This way, she could play mind games with her opponents and rob them of their winnings. Thanks to this, she (and Reimu, who caught on quickly… at least at the beginning) was amongst the ones with the biggest wins. At the pace she was going, she stood a good chance; however, she was still rather wary of her competition; she knew, firsthand, what underestimating the craftiness of youkai could result in. She was confident of her chances of winning, alright, but she would not lose her cool. Unfortunately, she couldn't quite say the same for her human friend in Reimu though, she thought with some sweat.
Indeed, the Hakurei maiden, with her visage chosen for tonight, quite honestly, scared quite a few of the individuals gathered here. With her wide grin and eyes that threatened to pop out of her skull, she greedily looked at the ever growing pile of money that would be all hers if she simply pulled a few more ace plays. ('Geez', thought one, 'Does she really want money that badly? Maybe I should start giving her donations every now and then…')
All of this utter madness, however, was far from its climax. How did poker ever end up in Gensokyo, you ask? Well, that's a rather funny story. A story for another time. How did all of these engorged egos manage to fit into a single space and not burst into a massive firefight? Go figure that one out yourself. Or wait until I take the time to elaborate a credible excuse. Either way…
All the misfortune…
Hina smiled. Misfortune!
…the pain…
Tenshi grinned. Hmm… pain. Perhaps something might just give her some… release.
…the anger…
With a growl, Momiji directed her glare towards Aya. She would show her!
…the trickery…
Several thought that they were already the victor, whether by snickering in their minds, allowing a smile to slip through or through various other dissimulated means, many were quite assured of their victory.
Yeah right.
…the tears…
Yukari allowed her mirth to show only through her eyes as she covered her face with her fan, an action copied by Yuyuko. She'd been trying to get a pretext to get a glimpse of Reimu's teary face, and oh! She found it! She was sure it would be delicious, when Reimu lost her grip on that long-sought dream when it was so near…!
Still though, it was only a matter of time…
…the blood…
('Fufufufufufu… Look at them! At this point, all of them are so into it that none would dare to back down! Heheheheh… HAHAHAHAHAHA!')
…it was all yet to reach its apex!
A tongue left the confines of a mouth, licking lips even as they were barely stopped from forming a victorious smirk. Time to initiate phase two.
"It's your turn, Mistress.", said Sakuya to Remilia.
The vampire leant back, never falling over, as she made a theatrical yawn and did her best to act bored, catching the attention of several. Her statement, however, made her the center of attention.
"Oh I don't know Sakuyaaaaaa...", she ended in a fake yawn, "This game is just too boring. None of the people here are actually a challenge. At all."
A massive outcry of indignation, 'WHAT!'s and various expressions of angers not belonging to those of her group was the immediate response. With the added bonus that everyone here was drunk to varying degrees, none were actually thinking straight, including the more normally keen ones… well, except Eirin.
"Hey you, vampire!", shouted Kaguya, the moon princess slightly slurring her words, "Are you making fun of me?"
"You've got some nerve, talking to me like that.", was Alice's response, even as her cheeks were quite flushed.
"Y-yeah! (hic) Some neeeurve… (hic)", mortification was Alice's newfound companion at her mother's drunken defense. Her puppets clumsily moved, covering Alice with their small hands, probably because of Alice's own clumsy movement of her hands due to her alcohol intoxication. Carrying on… "T-think you can (hic) back it up?" ('WHERE IS YUMEKO-SAN WHEN YOU NEED HER?')
Other voices voiced their agreement to the goddess, albeit drunken, challenge. And here, Remilia showed a small toothy smile that was only glimpsed by her companions.
"Oh it's simple! Listen; all we've done upon this game's concept is to stake money, right?", receiving various nods, she continued, "But nobody ever said that money was all we were limited to staking. We could, for example, stake property or… ourselves." She said 'ourselves' with a gracious, pseudo-seductive flare, enough to send warning bells dully ringing in the heads of most.
Unfortunately, they went unheeded. Bless sake, indeed!
Strangely enough, even though she expected the chorus of cocky acceptation from the others, she did not expect a rather sober Sakuya to stare at her. She sweatdroped.
"Eh… Anyway, let's lay down our stakes before resuming the game. Whoever wins everyone gets to have the losers do whatever the winner wants!" 'Everyone' of course, was ignored by most; 'everyone' had promptly taken a swig of sake the moment they agreed, further adding into their intoxication.
The stakes were as follows:
Note: (purposely put into this format for evulz.)
Reimun: When I win, not only am I taking all that money, YOU'RE ALL DONATING EVERY SINGLE PENNY YOU HAVE TO MY SHRINE, YA HEAR ME? GYAHAHAHAHAHA! :D
Mari-Mari :D: When I win, ze, I'm keeping everything you possess of worth, ze!
Nue-chan2031: I'm not sure what I'll do, so if I win, you'll all owe Byakuren!
Koi: .… i dunno… wat should i do, sis?
The Great Satori: Let's just have them become food for our pets, sister.
O-rin: Yahoo!
OK-Uuuu: Directive accepted!
Koi: Uuuu… but i wanted t play wit Flan some more…
The Great Satori: *sigh* ) : , Fine…
NOT EVEN DROP: Letsa a doit!
Watamelon: Hoohoohiihehiya!
Midorigan: I want to lay a stake down too!
SM: Hehehehe… when I win, I'll teach you all about the wonders of BDSM!
Travoltaroxursox: We're all doing the disco dance, baby!
_Pyontasays_ : No bets from me! I'll just go with whatever Kanako or Sanae want.
Ya Misae: YOU ARE ALL CONVERTING TO OUR FAITH!
Sanae-chan no Mubou353805: What Lady Kanako said!
Nagashi-bina-san: Misfortune! Misfortune! MISFORTUNE! MISFORTUNE! IS! IMMINENT!
Ayayayayayaya: Ayayayayayayaya! We'll do some sexy photo shots!
Tatetetetetetete: Tatetetetetetetete! I'll take your sexy photo session and turn it into a naughty photo session!
Ayayayayayaya: YOU COPYCAT! 'Kakashi Spirit News', huh? HOW ORIGINAL! I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU RIP ME OFF AGAIN! : D
Tatetetetetetete: OH YEAH? HOW'S THIS? *trolling*
Ayayayayayaya: IT'S ON! *trolling*
Tiangou, Great Guard: You are NOT getting away with this, Shameimaru. I'll hang you by the neck with a rope while having all these people throw rotten fruit and vegetables at your face!
~Yuukarin~: ~Oh my. I do wonder… Oh, I know! How about we make a large procession whilst we plant flowers all over Gensokyo? I'm sure it will brighten up everyone's days!~
Touhou Shinigami Komachi: Hehehehehehe! If I get Shikieki-sama's servitude, I'll never have to work again! And with these many servants… fufufufufufu!
Yamaxanadu: *humming*Oh my, what s-should I (hic, hic) doo-ooo? Maybe hold a lecturing hall or somet-thing…
Mokoutan: ANYTHING? *glares at Kaguya* We'll all hold a public humiliation and execution for you, Kaguya! I'LL HAVE YOU DEFILE EIENTEI WITH YOUR OWN DANMAKU!
NEET: O RLLY? You think I'm just going to go all orz at your feet? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLROFLMAO! I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH BS IN M LIFE EVAR! WE'LL SEE WHO GETS THE PUBLIC HUMILLIATION, BITCH!
CAVEyoAss: A-ano… All these fighting is… w-why don't we all leave the past behind?
TasuketeEirin: Indeed… However, the opportunity to have this many test subjects is simply too good to pass up… I shall gladly win this game!
Zayaku: Oh dear… I knew how much trouble this would all be…
lolUdongesux: Are ya kiddin'? This is great! I'll prank Gensokyo like never before and no one will be able to do anything about it! Yeaaaaaahh!
Zayaku: TEWI! That's it! It's about time someone punished you properly for all the trouble you cause! Just you wait! You've got a big one coming!
lolUdongesux: You're on!
Illiterate: HEY! I'm not illiterate! J-just because I can't read… I'll SHOW YOU! You'll make me the richest vendor in Gensokyo!
WRIGGLEENTRY: W-when this is all done… No one will ever make fun of insects again!
Sukima: Oh my… (hic) what an interesting turn of events (hic)! What should I do… What should I (hic) do… What (hic) do you suggest, Ran?
Suppa-Tenko: Much disrespect, in spite of your power (hic), has been made to you, Yukari-sama. Perhaps have all of these know the true wonders of being a shikigami of the Yakumo household? ('Dear god… You're so drunk, (hic) Yukari-sama!')
CHEEEEEEEEN: Ran-shama! Can I keep them all as my friends? We'd have fun for hours and hours and houuuuuuuurs… (small hic)
Suppa-Tenko: (*massive nosebleed*) O-oh, sure, Chen… Whatever you want… (smile)
Sukima: *sigh* You're a lost cause, (hic)Ran… (hic) Wait, I know! I've always (hic) wanted to see a certain someone's (hic) tears… Hehehe(hic)hehe… (series of drunken giggles)
ageS: (HIC, HIC, HIC)*giggle* Oooh… Prety lights… Food to last an eternity… Hmhmhm! What a nice (HIC) game…
Myon: Y-Yuyuko-sama! Oh my— so drunk! …(hic)! Ooops!
Alice-cha~n: M-Marisa… (hic, hoc)
Shink-sama-sama: Auuuuuu! (hic, hic, HIC!) Alice-chan~n! Pay (hic) attention to mommy!
Rumia: ~So-nanoka?~
Dai-chan: Uumm…Cirno?
⑨: Ahahahahahaha! I'M THE STRONGEST! I'll prove it to you all by beating you here!
China n_n: Hark! The grandiose winds whisper the answers to me… ETERNAL VACATIONS! YOOHOO!
Meido: What's with the prose? *whispering: Besides, have you forgotten you idiot? This is all part of the Mistress's plan!*
China n_n: Oh… right, I forgot! (sighs) XP
Meido: Honestly…! ('Mistress… Oh, Mistress…!')
Patchy: Hmm… I do think I would appreciate the returning of all MY 'borrowed' books… In the mean time all those poor grimoire are being placed back where they belong, however, I might just appreciate several sets of extra hands… *evil grin*
KoaKoa: Ano… Patchouli-sama? *whisper: Isn't this all just a ploy?*
Patchy: Don't ruin my fantasies, Koa.
KoaKoa: S-sorry…
Flantasm: PLAYMATES! We'll have so much fun together!
Remi-sama: Fufufufufu… ('You will all become servants of the Scarlet Clan… There is no escape for any of you. This is your destiny!')
Fairymaids: LOL DESTINY.
Now taking a final glance at the various faces of resolution and confidence (and drunken stupors), Remilia knew it was time.
"Alright, ladies, then it's about time we started this. There is no turning back now; if you lose, you must stay to the end and do as the winner says! No exceptions!"
The Game of Destiny began… HER Game of Destiny!
AN: Yes... A trap for all of Gensokyo's most notorious residents. What. The. Hell. I have honestly NO excuse for this.
(*): As a note to Shikieiki's name, 'Yamaxanadu' is a TITLE. Just in case someone is confused. Her name is Shiki Eiki. So my usage of Yamaxanadu in the story is nothing more than a formal way to refer to her.
Take it as you will. I'm fairly sure I'll receive either a flame or harsh critique or two. Doesn't matter. Had to get that out of my head.
As a last note, I Did The Research as much as I could. So if you are (somehow) able to quickly identify all of the references in the 'For The Evulz' part without referencing to Touhou Wikia, then, my good friend, I am impressed, and scared, of you.
Yukari: By the way, nice save there!
Me: Why thank yo-Y-Yukari? WTF?
Yukari: Hmhm! It's good to see such appreciation for my being. Oh please, don't bother standing. I'll sit... (opens gap) ...in my gap.
Me: Ha-hahaha... So... Why are you here, Sukima?
Yukari: Oh nothing. I just wanted to ask... I'll be the winner, yes?
Me: Well... U-um... That is...
Yu: Yes? ...Oh? Hyagh! (Gets blasted to the sky and beyond by a gigantic crimson orb)
Me: Whew... Thanks, Remi-sama.
Re: You're welcome.
Yu: (returns through a gap) I'm baaaa-aaack!
Re: Shoo, pest!
Yu: Oho? No can do!
Re: Oh really? After you, then.
(Yukari and Remilia duke it out in the sky)
Me: Shit... What have I done?
Please read and review if you can, while I sit in a dark corner and fear for my life.