THE BUTLER DID IT

by Heartwings

Set post Endgame, JC need a little help to get back on track! The story has angst, intrigue, suspense and, of course, plenty of romance for the diehard JCer as well as an original and unique spin on the Janeway family. Not a murder mystery!

Title: THE BUTLER DID IT

Author: Heartwings - PG-13

Length: 26,505 words

Genre: Star Trek Voyager - J/C

Summary: This story is set a few weeks after "Endgame". It ignores some canon that nobody likes anyway.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount, but they like it better at my house than theirs.

THE BUTLER DID IT

Chakotay smiled warmly as the door opened. "Mrs. Janeway, it's so nice to meet you, thank you for inviting me. Kathryn has told me so much about you."

"Back when she was speaking to you." She chuckled and then smiled as she shook his hand, "I'm sorry, Chakotay, I didn't mean to be rude, it good to meet you too, please come in. Just leave your things there for now."

Gretchen showed Chakotay to the old farmhouse's large formal parlor and left him to look around while she left to prepare tea in the kitchen. He was most interested in the many photographs displayed, for he had never seen pictures of a young Kathryn. He decided that she looked a bit awkward when younger and definitely thought that, the older she got, the better she looked. The one picture that most strongly drew him was one of Kathryn and her father taken at Kathryn's graduation from Starfleet Academy almost thirty years ago. Kathryn was of course beaming as all newly commissioned ensigns are, but her father had an expression of love, devotion and pride that transcended the photograph. He instantly and profoundly understood what a struggle it must have been for Kathryn to try to live up to her father's expectations and how deeply losing him must have hurt her.

He put the picture down and surveyed the rest of the room, it was very elegantly decorated with many fine antiques, no doubt worth a small fortune. This room itself was probably larger than the simple house he had grown up in. When Kathryn had spoken of growing up on a farm, he had always had an image of a house considerably less stately and elegant; she had never mentioned that her family was obviously quite wealthy. In fact, he was surprised that Mrs. Janeway herself had answered the door, one would expect a servant to do that in a home such as this. A small picture on a shelf caught his eye and he took it down to examine it closely. It was Kathryn when she looked to be about twenty or twenty five, standing in front of a tall building beside a handsome young man. He looked a bit like her and had his arm around her shoulder, so he wondered if it were a relative or perhaps it could be Justin, her first fiancé. She had seldom spoken of him and had never shown Chakotay a picture of him. He looked around for pictures of Kathryn and Mark, but found none, which struck him as odd for a family that was obviously so fond of displaying photographs and holo images.

Gretchen entered with the tea tray. Chakotay stood to take it from her and sat it on an elegant mahogany coffee table she indicated. Gretchen spoke as she served the tea and cookies, "Thank you, Chakotay, Kathryn mentioned in her letters from the Delta Quadrant how polite you were are I see she was not exaggerating. It's so nice to see someone with manners these days, no wonder she went on about you so. I see you brought Kathryn flowers. That was very sweet of you, but with the snit she's in, she'd probably just throw them at you. We'll put them in a vase. If she ever comes down from her room, perhaps she'll enjoy them, she so loves flowers, especially roses."

"Yes, Ma'am. You have a lovely home, Mrs. Janeway." Chakotay replied, not sure what else to say.

"Thank you, Dear, and please call me Gretchen. Relax, Chakotay, I don't bite! Kathryn told me a lot about you in her letters, well, up until the last few months when she stopped mentioning you at all. At that point her letters started changing, became almost generic as if she could have been writing them to most anyone rather than to her mother. Did something happen to her, something she won't tell me about?"

"Well…" Chakotay began as he placed his teacup back on the table, "I don't think anything specific happened, at least nothing that she ever told me about. She just became increasingly distant, to the point where I hardly ever saw her other than on the bridge, at staff meetings and that sort of thing. We used to spend a lot of our off duty time together. I tried to talk to her, but she was the captain and could send me away, which is exactly what she did."

Gretchen thought for a moment and spoke as she offered more cookies, "If I may ask, did the two of you have a bad disagreement or something? It was just so strange how she went on about you and then it seemed as though she suddenly stopped mentioning you at all. I even asked about it and all she replied was that you were fine… busy. She never came out and said it as such, but her letters made it clear to me she was in love with you. Quite honestly, I expected her to come home with a ring on her finger, my dear. More tea?"

"Please," replied Chakotay as he held out his cup. "There was no big fight, if that's what you mean, she just gradually drifted away. I fought it for a long time and I've never given up on Kathryn, but somehow she changed. To be quite honest I had every intention of putting a ring on her finger, if she'd have me. It was rough out there and she… we went through a lot, but she always seemed to bounce back; she's the strongest woman I've ever met. I know Starfleet has put her through hell since she's been back and things don't look so good for her right now, but the Kathryn I know would stand up and fight, not sit back and let them do what they will with her. I can't tell you how Kathryn felt about me, but I can tell you that I was deeply in love with your daughter… I still am."

"I know, Dear, that's why you came even after what Kathryn said to you after the reception at Starfleet; I overheard everything, not intentionally, but I did. I do apologize, I'm sure she had no call to say such awful things and, I assure you, it was totally out of character for her to be so vile; I certainly didn't raise her that way. There was no truth to what she said about you and the Borg woman, was there?"

"Seven is her name and, no Ma'am, there wasn't. I spent time with Seven, trying to help her learn social skills because the doctor asked me to, that's all there was to it, there was no love affair or anything of that nature as Kathryn said. I told her so and I've never lied to her, so I don't know why she didn't believe me. Seven and the doctor also spoke to her, she should know that nothing ever happened, nothing. I love Kathryn and I would never betray her, personally or professionally."

Gretchen leaned forward and touched Chakotay's arm, "I believe you, I just can't understand why she doesn't believe you… or any of the other people she loves and trusts the most; obviously she has chosen not to believe the truth. Tuvok has even called to speak to her, twice in fact, but she refused to speak to him, said she wasn't feeling well. She won't see anyone, she just stays in her room most of the time, hardly eats, spends a lot of time in bed, doesn't even get dressed some days. I think she's worse than she was when her father died, at least she would talk to her sister and I then. Well, she'll talk to me, but she doesn't really say anything and I don't even know what she does up there all day."

Chakotay clasped his hands and rested his chin on them as he leaned forward. "Do you think there's any possibility she would talk to me?"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, Chakotay, but if you'd like to try I'll take you upstairs." Gretchen and Chakotay climbed the massive staircase to the second floor and walked down the hall to the last door on the right. She walked right up to the door, but Chakotay stayed a few paces down the hall. Gretchen knocked, but got no answer. She knocked again, "Katie, Sweetie, please come out, there's someone here to see you."

The reply came from behind her closed door, "I don't want to see anyone, Mom, please leave me alone." Chakotay's eyes brightened at the sound of Kathryn's voice, even if her words weren't what he wanted to hear.

Gretchen started knocking as loudly as she could on the door and raised her voice, "Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, you come out of that room right this second!" She pounded with her fist until the door finally opened, however Kathryn remained inside the threshold. "Kathryn, please come out, there's someone here to see you." Gretchen put her hands on her hips and began tapping her foot as she waited. "Kathryn, the least you can do is say hello. Kathryn, now!"

Kathryn slowly emerged with her chin on her chest. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a baggy sweat shirt that practically hung down to her knees and her feet were bare. Her hair looked as if she hadn't bothered to brush it since yesterday and she was about as pale as a living person could be. She obviously didn't realize her mother had brought the guest up to her door and was startled to see Chakotay there.

He took a few steps forward and smiled warmly as he spoke in a gentle voice, "Hello, Kathryn."

Kathryn said nothing so her mother put her arm around Kathryn's shoulder as she tried to urge her forward, towards Chakotay. He took a few more steps so that he was right in front of her and reached out to touch her hand, but she moved hers back, so he withdrew his. Kathryn still said nothing.

Her mother turned Kathryn's shoulders and looked her square in the face, "Look, Kathryn, Chakotay has come all this way to see you, the least you can do is say hello to him."

She looked up at him, not making eye contact, and spat out, "Hello, now you have seen me, so leave!" and retreated back to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Chakotay just stood there, stunned. While he never expected Kathryn to run into his arms, he never thought he'd get a reaction like that either. He had seen Kathryn under all kinds of stress, he had seen her angry, ill, injured, he had even seen her dying, but he had never seen her like this.

Gretchen put her arm around Chakotay's shoulder to try to comfort him. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why she's acting like this, I don't know what's gotten into her and I apologize for her behavior. She was withdrawn and depressed when her father died, but she was never as angry and downright rude as she is now. Please come back to the parlor and we'll talk some more. Contrary to what she said, you are more than welcome here." They returned to the parlor and sat on the sofa. Gretchen started to pour tea, but she stopped. "The tea has gotten cold, I'll go make some more."

Chakotay cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "No, thank you, I guess it would be best if I left." He started to stand, but she stopped him.

"Nonsense! If you love that woman up there you will stay and help her to get better. I checked with Owen and I know you're on leave and don't have a damn thing to do and no place to stay. Please, Chakotay, won't you stay here and help to try to get through to Kathryn?"

He put his face in his hands as he thought. 4Drawing in a deep breath, he finally looked up and spoke. "I would do anything I could to help Kathryn, but she made it clear that she wants me to leave."

"Well, that might be what she said, but this isn't her house, it's mine, and I give the orders around here, not her. If I invite you to stay here, that's my prerogative, there's not much she can do about it. Starfleet has her on home detention and she has a security monitor implant and can't leave the grounds without authorization, so she's here… and so are you. She'll probably cuss you from here to the Antares Nebula, but at least she'll be talking and maybe you can figure out what's going on. Won't you please stay, at least for a few days, and see if she'll come around and you two can work things out?"

Chakotay looked at her with concern, "Are you sure I wouldn't just be making a bad situation worse?"

"No, she's my daughter, I'd never do anything that I thought wasn't in her best interest. If nothing else, I'd like to have a chance to get to know you, maybe that would help me to understand her? You were closest to her for the last seven years and," she grinned, "women will tell their lovers things they'd never tell their mothers!"

Chakotay thought for a moment before replying, "Yes, I'll stay, for a few days anyhow, but you should know that Kathryn and I, we were never lovers."

Gretchen was astonished. "Why not? She's beautiful, what's wrong with her?"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong with Kathryn, I think she's beautiful too. I wanted to, I asked her, but she said no. I was her first officer and she thought it would compromise her ability to command, at least that's what she said, and I think she held on to Mark for a long time, even after she heard from him that he had moved on and was married. She took that hard and would never talk about it with me."

"Humph!" Gretchen exclaimed as she bit into a cookie, "Not marrying Mark Johnson was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. She was head over heels crazy in love with him alright, but he was all wrong for her. All he wanted was to get her barefoot and pregnant and to get her out of Starfleet and you know as well as I do she wouldn't have been happy. He was nice enough and they'd known each other since they were kids, but it would have never lasted and nothing I said could have convinced her of that. He did come by to see her a couple weeks ago, but I don't know what they talked about and she wouldn't tell me. All he said was that they 'caught up', he never was one to talk a lot. He couldn't seem to get out of here fast enough and, as far as I know, he hasn't contacted her again. She didn't want to see him at first, of course, but he went up to her room anyway and I didn't hear screaming or things crashing, so I let it be. I did hear her crying for hours after he left, but she cries a lot now. She was even worse after his visit, so I'm so sorry now that I let it happen. Do you think that, even after all this time, she could still be burning a candle for him?"

Chakotay's heart sank a bit at learning that Kathryn consented to see Mark, but was adamant about not seeing him. He rolled what Gretchen said over in his mind before answering her. "Quite honestly, I don't know. I thought she had let go of him, but maybe I'm wrong. For a long time she and I got along very well, she no longer so much as mentioned his name and had put his pictures away. I really thought, once we got Voyager home, Kathryn and I would be together."

Gretchen's face brightened and she managed a smile. "From her letters, I thought so too, she was initially very clear that's what she'd wanted and hoped for, she went so far as to say she had finally found her soul mate in you." She was interrupted by the arrival of a tall thin Vulcan woman in a long pale blue robe topped with a crisp white pinafore. The woman entered, bowed her head and stood in silence. "Chakotay, this is our housekeeper T'Ana. T'Ana, this is Commander Chakotay, he will be staying with us, so please prepare the guest room at the end of the hall for him and see that his things are taken up there."

Chakotay stood and bowed slightly to the Vulcan woman, "It's nice to meet you, Ma'am, I hope I won't be any trouble."

She returned the bow, "Not at all, Sir." Turning to Gretchen she politely announced, "Mrs. Janeway, dinner is served."

"Thank you, T'Ana, please go tell Kathryn to come to the table… and to dress properly." The woman bowed again and left the room. "T'Ana has been with us since just before Kathryn was born. Her father Stanak also works for us as a groundskeeper, in fact he worked for Edward's father too; just let them or Komn know if you need anything. T'Ana has always had a way with Kathryn." Gretchen chucked as she placed the cups and plates back on the tray, "Kathryn couldn't say T'Ana properly when she was a little girl, so she called her Nana, still does. Kathryn mentioned in one of her letters that you're a vegetarian, so I hope the meal will be to you liking. Shall we?"

Chakotay stood and offered Gretchen his arm as he escorted her to the dining room. He seated her at the head of the table and sat in the chair she indicated. He marveled at the splendor of the dining room as he looked at his elegant place setting, hoping he knew what all the forks were for. Starfleet taught traditional etiquette courses, but he now wished he had paid better attention. He noticed that the flowers he'd brought had been placed in an elegant crystal vase on the center of the massive dining table.

T'Ana entered and served the wine and salads as she spoke. "Miss Kathryn said that she is not hungry this evening, Ma'am. She had only coffee for breakfast and ate almost nothing from the lunch tray I carried to her room, so it is illogical that she should not be hungry. I believe she merely wishes to avoid coming downstairs and the social interaction that dinner would provide. Do you wish me to take her a tray?"

Gretchen pushed her salad aside, clasped her hands and put them on the table. "T'Ana, until I tell you otherwise you are not to take any food or beverages up to Kathryn's room… that includes coffee. Please go back upstairs and tell her to come to the table, properly dressed, or I shall go up there and drag her down myself." T'Ana raised an eyebrow, bowed and left to do as instructed.

After about ten minutes of awkward water sipping, small talk and staring at salads, Kathryn entered the room dressed in a sapphire blue velvet dress that hung from her as if it were several sizes too large. Her hair was gathered in a pony tail, but looked is if it had been done without benefit of a hairbrush, and she wore no makeup. Chakotay stood as she entered and Kathryn gasped, obviously not expecting him to be there. She turned to leave, but T'Ana was standing right behind her, blocking her path. Chakotay went to her and offered her his arm, but she defiantly walked on and seated herself rather ungracefully.

Chakotay returned to his place and started eating. He glanced at Kathryn, but she did not look up, intent upon stirring her salad around on the plate without actually eating any of it. The silence was awkward, so he finally broke it. "You look nice, Kathryn, that color really brings out the blue in your eyes."

She mumbled something unintelligible and continued with the desecration of her salad.

He tried again, "I heard from Tom and B'Elanna yesterday and they said Miral got her first tooth!" Receiving no response, he turned to Gretchen. "This china is lovely, Ma'am, I don't think I've ever eaten from such beautiful dishes."

"Thank you, Dear, how nice of you to notice, it belonged to my great grandmother, so it's quite old." She focused her attention to the other side of the table. "Kathryn, Chakotay brought the flowers for you, aren't they lovely?" Receiving no reply to her question, Gretchen adopted a sterner tone. "Kathryn, he brought you flowers, the least you can do is say thank you." Kathryn made no reply, so Gretchen threw her fork into her plate loudly and glared at Kathryn. "Kathryn, when someone is nice enough to bring you a gift, it is customary to say thank you. I invited Chakotay, so he is my guest, and I will thank you to at least be polite to him and treat him the way a guest should be treated. When you act like this it makes people wonder if your father and I didn't teach you good manners and raise you properly, I will not tolerate such rude behavior in this house! Am I understood?"

Kathryn looked up and saw the expression of disappointment on her mother's face. "I'm sorry, Mother." She turned to Chakotay, but didn't raise her head enough to make eye contact. "Thank you." she said quietly, her response devoid of any sincerity, as she returned to picking at her salad.

"You're quite welcome, Kathryn, I know you love roses. Do you remember when we were on Kanara III and visited the botanical gardens? You were so taken with those gigantic pink ones that I thought I'd never get you out of there!" Chakotay smiled warmly as he remembered what a wonderful time they had there.

Kathryn shook her head and fidgeted in her chair. T'Ana entered, cleared the salad plates and served the soup. Kathryn picked up her spoon and proceeded to fill it with soup and slowly pour it back into the bowl over and over again. Chakotay sat and idly watched her until he realized it would be impolite not to eat his soup. He tried a spoon and the rich creamy soup brought a smile to his face.

"This soup is wonderful, mushroom is my favorite."

Gretchen returned his smile. "Thank you, Dear, I assumed it was. In one of her letters Kathryn mentioned how much you liked it and asked me for T'Ana's recipe. T'Ana left the tureen on the sideboard, so please help yourself if you would care for more; I'll see that she writes down the recipe for you. Kathryn, please at least eat your soup, you know how much trouble it is to prepare, Nana will be upset if you don't eat it."

Kathryn looked up as she poured another spoon of soup back into her bowl. "No she won't, Mother, she's Vulcan, she doesn't get upset."

"She does so, Kathryn, she's very concerned about you. Perhaps you should take a moment to think of someone besides yourself for a change?"

Kathryn picked her spoon back up and slowly ate her soup as Chakotay helped himself to seconds. The rest of the meal progressed slowly with conversation between Gretchen and Chakotay about mundane subjects such as current events and the weather. Occasionally one of them was able to coax a monosyllabic response from Kathryn. Chakotay began to relax as he remembered the most basic of table etiquette lessons, if unsure which utensil to use, wait for your host to start and use the same one. He wondered if the Janeways always ate with such formality or only when they had company for dinner; he couldn't imagine people eating that way all the time. As T'Ana cleared the last of the main course from the table, Gretchen asked her to please serve dessert and coffee on the veranda and led them to a beautiful porch that overlooked a garden in the back yard that undoubtedly rivaled the botanical gardens on Kanara III. They sat at a pretty round table with a lacy white tablecloth as T'Ana brought the coffee and dessert in on a large silver tray and served it.

Gretchen gently patted T'Ana on the hand, "Thank you, T'Ana, dinner was lovely." She bowed and left. "Chakotay, there's praline sauce there, please help yourself if you'd care for some on your dessert and I know Kathryn would like some."

"Thank you. Kathryn?" he asked as picked up the sauce boat of praline sauce. She pushed her plate towards him, so he began pouring the sauce over her dessert. "Pecan pie with coffee ice cream and praline sauce, your favorite dessert in the galaxy, isn't it Kathryn?"

"Yes, it is. Thank you." Kathryn ate her dessert as Chakotay realized that was the first time she had spoken to him civilly without her mother prompting her to do so. It wasn't much, but was worthy of a glimmer of hope nonetheless and she was also eating voluntarily. After they had finished their desserts and coffee, Gretchen stood and put the dessert dishes back on the tray.

"I'll just take these back myself and save T'Ana a trip. If you will excuse me, I need to prepare my lesson plans for tomorrow. Kathryn, I'm sure Chakotay would love to see the gardens, why don't you show him and you two can sit by the pond and perhaps you can have a chat? It's a lovely evening, the fresh air will do you good, you spend too much time cooped up in your room. Go on, Kathryn, I'll have no argument from you about this."

"Yes, Mother." Kathryn fumed for a moment and waited for her mother to leave before she banged out the screen door and stomped her way along the footpath, towards the fishpond.

Chakotay had to run to catch up with her. When he did he offered Kathryn his arm, but she just quickened her pace to avoid him. When she reached the pond she plopped down on a bench beside it. Chakotay sat beside her, so she got up and sat on a rock near the bench. He went and sat on the ground at her feet.

"Kathryn, are you afraid of me or are you just being childish? You should know by now that I'd never hurt you. That rock can't be comfortable and it's dirty, you'll ruin your pretty dress, please come sit on the bench. Please?" Kathryn finally relented, got up and sat at the far end of the bench. Chakotay joined her, at the other end, maintaining the physical distance that seemed to give her comfort. "Those fish are beautiful, what kind are they?"

"Koi."

He pointed to a large calico one with very long fins. "That one is the prettiest one, I think, does it have a name?"

Kathryn sighed. "They all have names, you'll have to ask my mother, I don't remember."

They sat in silence for a few minutes and watched the fish. From time to time Chakotay thought he saw a slight smile come to Kathryn's face as she watched the antics of the fish chasing one another around the pond. Finally he broke the silence, thinking she might be more receptive to conversation now. "It's very relaxing watching them, isn't it?" She nodded. "Kathryn, will you please talk to me? What happened, what's wrong, what did I do to upset you? What happened to us?"

"There is no us, Chakotay. I'm under arrest, about to be court martialed, Owen Paris is the only reason I'm here on home detention and not in the brig. They're going to lock me up and throw away the key, so just forget about me, go away and get on with your life and forget about me, forget that you ever met me."

"I can't do that, Kathryn." He moved a bit closer to her as he continued, "You're not under arrest, you're just being detained, and a court martial is just talk at this point, you're facing a preliminary disciplinary hearing, that's all. I've talked to Admiral Paris almost every day, I know what's going on, so don't try to argue; the situation is not as grave as you seem to think it is. I also know that every single member of the crew, Maquis as well as Starfleet, is on your side and every last one of us will testify in your favor. You didn't do anything wrong, Kathryn, and we'll prove it."

"It's not that simple, Chakotay, and you know it. You and the rest of the crew would do best to distance yourselves from me, denounce me, and save your careers and reputations. I'm going down and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to stop it. Starfleet wants a human sacrifice and it's going to be me, plain and simple. The only thing I'm happy about is that… that Daddy is not here to see this." Kathryn started sobbing and turned away to hide her face as tears crept down her cheeks.

Chakotay let her cry for a moment and couldn't stand it any longer, so he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. Kathryn twisted away and buried her face on her shoulder. His voice trembled as he spoke, "Kathryn, please let me help you. We can fight this. The Kathryn Janeway I know wouldn't just sit there and let this happen to her, she would stand up and fight."

She turned and, for the first time, made direct eye contact with him. "Kathryn Janeway died somewhere out there in the Delta Quadrant. Why can't you just accept that and move on?" Kathryn got up and ran to the house.

Chakotay got up to follow her, but realized it would be pointless, she would just lock herself in her room, so he sat back down. Fighting back tears, he concentrated on the fish to try to settle his mind so he could think clearly. After a few minutes he noticed a familiar aroma and looked up to see T'Ana holding a small tray with a cup of tea on it.

She bowed, somehow keeping the tray perfectly level. "Excuse me, Commander Chakotay, pardon the intrusion, but I thought perhaps you would like a cup of Bajoran spiced tea."

He stood and took the tea from the tray. "Thank you, T'Ana, that was very kind of you, how did you know spiced tea is my favorite?"

"I did not, however Miss Kathryn favors that type of tea in the evening, so I thought you might as well."

Chakotay sat back on the bench, took a sip of the tea and smiled, "This is excellent, thank you again. Did Kathryn go to her room?"

"Yes, Sir, she did. I attempted to convince her to come back to the garden to have tea with you, but she most adamantly refused. Unfortunately Miss Kathryn is behaving most uncharacteristically and I have not been effective in my attempts to modify her behavior. I do not understand why she has become so depressed, emotional and angry, it is contrary to her nature to behave in this manner; it is most… unsettling."

"T'Ana, you've known Kathryn all her life and you two are very close, aren't you?" She nodded. "Could I talk to you about her? I love her dearly and want to help her, but I just don't know what to do, how to help her."

"I will speak with you, Sir, however, since I have been unable to assist her, I do not know of what benefit I could be."

"Thank you, T'Ana, please sit." He moved to the end of the bench to give her more room.

T'Ana bowed her head, "It would not be proper for me to sit, Sir." Chakotay looked at her with an odd expression, so she added, "Because I am a servant, it would not be proper for me to sit."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest anything that would get you into trouble, T'Ana. Won't you please sit, I find it hard to speak to someone while they're standing, that's all. If Mrs. Janeway says anything, I'll tell her I asked you to sit. I'm not used to all this, I don't come from a home like this, I didn't grow up with crystal, fine china, lots of forks and servants and all."

"Nor did I, Commander." T'Ana delicately perched herself on the edge of the bench and clasped her hands on her lap as she continued, "Mrs. Janeway would sometimes read Kathryn's letters from the Delta Quadrant to me, so I know what she said about you and that you were quite… significant to her. I did notice that she stopped mentioning you some months ago, however it would not have been proper for me to enquire of Mrs. Janeway as to the reason, so I did not."

"T'Ana, was Kathryn this bad when she first returned, or has she gotten worse? I sent her messages almost every day and never heard back from her, did she read any of them?"

"T'Ana adopted a more relaxed posture as she continued, "To address your second question, I do not believe so, Sir. To the best of my knowledge, she only reads her official messages from Starfleet and those from her sister. I observed the screen of her computer one day while I was laying out her clothes while she was in the bath, and I noticed that she has several hundred personal messages that have not been opened. As to your first question, she was tired and unsettled when she initially returned home, however I believe she became considerably worse a few days later, after Mr. Johnson's visit."

Chakotay leaned back and thought for a moment. "T'Ana, did you happen to overhear any of her conversation with him? Don't worry, this is just between you and me."

"Of course, Sir. I regret that I was away at the market when he visited and Kathryn has said nothing about it, so I am unable to answer your question." She paused to look at the fish as several jumped and splashed in the center of the pond. "Father is late in feeding them this evening, apparently they are not pleased."

"I guess not! T'Ana, has Kathryn said anything to you about me?"

"Not directly, Sir, however when I was helping her to unpack when she arrived home, I noticed that she placed a picture of what I now know to be you on her dressing table. I admired it and asked her who it was and she replied that: 'it was a dear friend that she had lost in the Delta Quadrant.' Thinking she meant that you had died, I of course made no further inquiries as I thought they would only serve to upset her. The picture is still there, perhaps that is significant? If you will forgive me, Sir, I must finish cleaning the kitchen and lay out the dishes for breakfast. I believe you will find Mrs. Janeway in the study, it is the last door on the left in the main hall. If you wish, I shall guide you there."

"No, thank you, I think I'll stay out here and think for awhile."

T'Ana bowed politely and picked up the tea tray. "As you wish, Sir. Have a pleasant evening… and I most sincerely hope that you and Miss Kathryn are able to resolve your differences."

Chakotay sat back down on the bench and drew his knees up to his chest as he thought. He found the fact that Kathryn had his picture on display to be encouraging, but at the same time he wondered why she would say that she had lost his friendship. They might have drifted apart, but he had always been a friend to her and, to the best of his knowledge, he had done nothing to lose her friendship or trust. Admiral Paris had shown him her report after his reinstatement hearing, and it was filled with the most glowing praise of him, both personally and professionally; it was certainly not written by the woman that now, apparently, despised him so. He thought back on the supposed debacle with Seven, but the changes in Kathryn predated it by a month or two at least, so it might have been a contributing factor, but it was most certainly not the initial cause. His thoughts again drifted to Mark Johnson, could it be that he had something to do with this, perhaps he had sent Kathryn another letter back when the problem started?

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Chakotay was startled as he realized he was not alone. "I'm sorry Mrs. Janeway, Gretchen, I didn't hear you come out." He stood and smiled, "Please, will you join me"?

"Thank you, Dear. Well, did you make any progress with Kathryn? I heard her run up the stairs awhile ago and slam her door so hard it rattled the rafters, so I take it you didn't."

"We talked, but I wouldn't call it progress. She told me that Kathryn Janeway died in the Delta Quadrant and that I should forget her. For some reason she feels obligated to put her neck on the chopping block and she's certain that Starfleet is going to chop her head off. Although I most adamantly think it's undeserved, knowing how the brass works at Starfleet, she might get a reprimand, but I don't honestly think the situation is nearly as bad as she makes it out to be, at least that's what Admiral Paris has told me."

"I totally agree, Owen has assured me that the likelihood of her facing a court martial is very slim. He thinks she'll get a fair hearing, a slap on the wrist at most, and the only one that has already found her guilty is her. As I recall, and you know Owen, he said the only ones after her are the ones that 'put the ass in brass'. Of course I have our lawyers working on it, so there will be a defense, even if she won't stand up for herself. Why don't you go take her some tea or a glass of sherry in her room and see if she'll talk some more? Come on, while we're at it, I'll get her another slice of pie, I know she has to be hungry, and it never hurts to invade a hostile planet with an extra weapon!" she smiled.

"I don't think so, I don't think it would be a good idea, I need a bit of time to think. What she said really hurt me and, to be honest, I'm a little angry with her at this point, I just don't understand how she could throw it all away, I thought her career and I meant more to her than that? Anyway, I'm sure she has me locked out," he grinned as he rose and offered Gretchen a hand up off the bench.

She turned to him and smiled as she patted him on the back, "Not bloody likely, I had Komn disable the lock on her door the day after she got home! Do you play chess, Chakotay? Perhaps you would care to join me in the study for a game or two?"

"Do you play as well as Kathryn?"

"No, I'm better."

"Then I think I'm in a lot of trouble."

The next morning Chakotay threw on his robe, ran across the hall and knocked gently on Kathryn's door. "Kathryn, are you awake, may I come in?" He heard a muffled "go away", so he knocked again. "Kathryn, please, I have a problem!" This time the "go away" was louder. He knocked more loudly as he pleaded, "Kathryn, this is serious, I have a problem, I need your help, please, may I come in?" Her third "go away" was accompanied by the crashing of something thrown against her side of the door as she shouted, "Go away, don't bother me, the door is locked!"

Chakotay opened the door and stepped into her room. "No it isn't, your mother told me she had the lock disabled."

Kathryn was sitting cross legged on the middle of her bed, with a PADD in her lap. She threw it at him, screaming, "How dare you? Get out of here, I'm not dressed!"

Chakotay crossed his arms and stared her down, his patience with her childish behavior only went so far this early in the morning, and a restless night and his current predicament had just brought it to an end. "I've seen you in your nightgown before, Kathryn, and anyway, that one covers up more of you than your uniform does. Look, Kathryn, I'm sorry to invade your privacy, but I have a problem. There's a little blue man in a tuxedo standing in my bathroom and he says he's there to help me use the toilet. I told him I didn't need any help, but he won't leave. I don't think he speaks English, so will you please go and ask him to leave? I don't want to be rude or offend him, but I don't…," he looked at her with a plaintive grin, "I don't need any help in the bathroom!"

Kathryn got up off her bed, grabbed her robe and stormed out of her room. Fearing the little blue man, Chakotay remained in her room and took the opportunity to quickly use her bathroom and then to look around. Her room was large and decidedly feminine, with peach colored velvet drapes and a matching floral print on the spread and canopy of her elegant old fashioned four poster bed. He took a few steps towards her dressing table and noticed that his picture was indeed displayed there, it was the same one she had kept on her bedside table back on Voyager. The velvet dress and shoes she had worn last night were carelessly discarded on the floor beside the bed, along with a pile of decorative pillows, some books and several PADDs. As he heard Kathryn's footsteps, he quickly stepped back to where he had been standing when she left.

She stormed back in, picked up the PADD she had thrown at him and resumed her place on the middle of the bed. "He's gone, you can leave now."

"Who was that, Kathryn?"

"Komn, the butler."

"You have a butler too?" She nodded her head, not looking up from her PADD. "And he thought I needed help to use the toilet?"

She put down her PADD. "Not toilet, Chakotay, toilette, it's French, Komn is French-Bolian, he doesn't speak English very well. Toilette means that he will run a bath for you and lay out your clothes, that's what a butler does for a man, that's what it means. He wouldn't have stayed in the bathroom with you, for heaven's sake, you just misunderstood him." A slight grin came to Kathryn's face as she dined on Chakotay's embarrassment.

He took a few steps towards the foot of her bed. "Kathryn, it's so good to see you smile, even if it's just at my predicament. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you and I hope I didn't offend him, it's just that I don't know anything about butlers… and I don't speak French."

Her smile faded back to a frown. "Well, he shouldn't bother you anymore, so why don't you leave now?" Kathryn crawled over to her bedside table and used the intercom to call T'Ana and ask her to bring up a pot of coffee and some toast. When T'Ana politely informed her that her mother had instructed her not to bring any more trays to her room, she closed the link and once again launched her PADD across the room with a scream of frustration.

Chakotay picked it up and handed it back to her. "Jeeves brought me a tray with a pot of coffee and some food. I'll bring it over, but only on one condition."

"What?" Kathryn fumed as she punched her pillow, knowing that her mother had managed to soundly defeat her.

"That you'll let me stay and share it with you?" He smiled plaintively, "Please, Kathryn?"

She gave her pillow one last death blow before she threw it on the floor and conceded, "Alright, I don't suppose I have any choice, do I?"

"No, Kathryn, you don't," he replied as he left her room and quickly returned with the tray. He sat it on a small round table in front of the window, opened the drapes, poured a cup of coffee and, in his best butler imitation, bowed and announced, "Lady Janeway, coffee is served."

Kathryn stifled a grin, crawled off the bed and sat herself at the table. She picked up her coffee and inhaled it's rejuvenating aroma before she took a sip. Realizing there was only one cup, she darted off to the bookcase and returned with a Starfleet mug and poured Chakotay a cup of coffee.

"Thank, you, Kathryn." He opened the napkin from a small basket and removed the cover from a little silver dish. "Would you like me to butter a biscuit for you?"

"Please," she replied as she poured herself more coffee, "and they're scones, not biscuits."

"Sorry," he replied as he passed her the scone on a plate. "Kathryn, why didn't you ever tell me that your family, well, that you live like this?"

"I didn't think it was important and, what was I supposed to say, oh, by the way, my family has more money than the Divine Treasury? I don't care where anyone comes from and they shouldn't care where I come from either. If it makes you feel that uncomfortable, you could leave, you know." Kathryn winced as she put her hand on her stomach.

"Are you alright, Kathryn?"

"Yes, I'm just feeling a little queasy, I thought it would help if I ate something, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe you should leave now and I'll go back to bed."

"Do you want me to go get your mother?"

"No, I'll be fine, she's not here anyhow, she teaches at IU on Mondays, Wednesdays and…." Kathryn stopped as she wretched, put her hand to her mouth and ran into the bathroom.

Chakotay could hear her vomiting, so he went to the bathroom and called for her. Kathryn was sitting in a heap on the floor in front of the toilet. As she looked up she let out a blood curdling moan and vomited violently into the toilet again. He knelt beside her, holding back her hair and rubbing her back gently as she continued to wretch. When it appeared she was finished, he wet a washcloth and handed it to her. "Kathryn, you're sick, I'll go get T'Ana for you."

"NO!" she screamed as she leaned back on him and started to cry. He pulled her onto his lap and cradled her gently as she sobbed into his shoulder; she was too distraught to protest. Taking the washcloth from her, he wiped her face and tried to clean the vomit from her gown.

"Kathryn, you're sick, you need to see a doctor."

"NO!" she shouted again, even more adamant this time as she began to cry so hard she couldn't catch her breath. Somehow she managed to get the words out between gut wrenching sobs, "I'm… not… sick, I'm… pregnant," before she collapsed into a tirade of tears. As it abated, she went on, "I haven't had a period since, well I've lost track, but it was before we got back to the Alpha Quadrant and this is the third morning in a row that this has happened. Oh, why was I so stupid? I hate myself for what I did!" She continued to cry as Chakotay rocked her gently on the bathroom floor. When she seemed to be more composed, he tried to help her stand, but she was too weak.

"Kathryn, let me go get T'Ana. There's vomit all over you, she can help you to get cleaned up, you can't even stand. I'd be glad to help you, but, well, it would probably be better if she did. OK?"

"No, Chakotay, please, no! She'll tell my mother and it would kill her to find out what I've done. Please just get me a clean nightgown, they're in the top drawer of the tall dresser beside my desk."

"OK, but stay right here, don't try to get up by yourself, OK?" She nodded. He returned with a fresh nightgown and began running a bath. Chakotay sat Kathryn on the edge of the tub, she slipped her nightgown off and he gently helped her in the tub. He pulled the curtain closed and she bathed as he cleaned up the mess in the bathroom. He lifted her from the tub, wrapped her in a warm towel, got her dried off and dressed in a fresh nightgown and carried her to the bed.

"Thank you," she blushed as he pulled the covers up over her.

"You're welcome, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but you wouldn't let me call T'Ana and you're so weak, you might have fallen. I did my best not to look. Do you feel like you could drink a little tea or something? I'd be glad to get you some."

"No, thank you, maybe later. It was much worse today, but I think I'll be OK in a little while." Kathryn began to sob again, "Oh, Chakotay, what have I done?"

He climbed up on the bed next to her and put his arm around her. "Is this OK?" She nodded yes as she nestled up next to him. "Kathryn, have you been to the doctor, are you sure you're pregnant?"

"No, I haven't been to the doctor, I have a security monitor and I can't leave the house without authorization from Starfleet, and they don't need to know about this. Like I said, I haven't had a period since before we got back and I've thrown up three mornings in a row now, so I'm sure I must be pregnant."

"How far along do you think you are?"

"Three weeks, I didn't know morning sickness could start this early, but I looked it up and it can."

Chakotay thought for a moment and then looked at her with concern. "Kathryn, three weeks? Your mother told me Mark was here three weeks ago."

"Yes. Oh, Chakotay!" She buried her head in his shoulder and started to cry hysterically.

He pushed her back and looked into her eyes, "Kathryn, she said he came up here to your room, did he… did he take advantage of you?"

She choked back her tears and gathered herself together. "No, it was the other way around, I threw myself at him, I begged him, I made him. Oh, Chakotay, I'm so ashamed, how could I have done such a thing? He's a married man, he has two children, what if he tells his wife and it ruins their marriage, oh what have I done? I'm so ashamed, I feel so dirty and so guilty! Why did I do that?" She cried herself out as he held her and smoothed her hair. "I don't even know why I did it, I know it was wrong, I know it was stupid and irresponsible and will hurt a lot of people. I wasn't even thinking, I hardly remember it, it was like some sort of out of body experience, like I was watching someone else do something I never would. I don't know what's happened to me!"

"It's alright, Kathryn, I understand. I'm your friend and I'm here to help you, not to judge you… and don't forget it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been willing too. Let's get you to a doctor, no matter what it is, you need to see one. You're almost fifty, Kathryn, it would be unusual for a woman your age to conceive without medical help, wouldn't it? Maybe you're not pregnant, it could be stress, Kathryn, you've been under a lot and that can affect your body too."

"You could be right, but I can't go to the doctor, Starfleet would find out and, worse yet, Mother would. Oh, Chakotay, what if I am pregnant and people find out who the father is? Oh, gods, that would kill Mother! She knows he was here, she'd figure it out, it's all my fault."

"Well, Kathryn, if it turns out you are pregnant, I'll say I'm the father if you want me to, if it would make things easier for you."

"You would do that?"

"Of course I would. Like it or not, I love you, Kathryn, and when I promised to stay by your side and to make your burdens lighter, well, that wasn't just a story, I meant it. I'm here for you and I'll be here for you for as long as you want me to be, if you'll let me. Maybe this doesn't mean anything, but I forgive you and I just hope you can forgive yourself."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. "Oh, Chakotay, how can you possibly love me? I've treated you so badly, I pushed you away because I knew I couldn't be what you wanted, what you needed, and I hoped you would find someone who could. When I thought you did I was mad and, when I found out you didn't, I was even madder, so I did my best to try to make you hate me. When we got home and I realized what I'd done, I was madder yet, at myself, and just dug my own grave and I've been wallowing in it ever since. I knew there would be trouble with Starfleet and I figured, if I sacrificed myself, they would have their head on a platter and be happy and everyone else would come through unscathed and the Maquis wouldn't have any problems."

"Well, it's all water under the bridge now and your situation with Starfleet isn't as bad as you think, especially if you'll stand up and fight and, like it or not, the whole crew and I will be fighting right there alongside you, just as we've always done. I don't know how you could have thought that you weren't what I wanted. Yes, I wanted more, but I understood your reasons why there couldn't be more and I accepted them, I thought you knew that, that I was willing to wait for you. Enough of this, let's get you to the doctor. Do you feel well enough to get dressed?"

"Yes, I feel better now, but how can I get out of here, the security monitor?"

Chakotay kissed her gently and smiled as he got up off the bed, "You leave that to me, I'm going to go get dressed and go down to the study and use the com link, you call a civilian doctor and make an appointment. I'll bring you some tea when I come back, if I can find the kitchen."

"It's the door across the hall from the dining room. This time of day there shouldn't be anyone in the house. Mom's at work, Nana goes to the market every morning and she doesn't drive, so Komn takes her, and Stanak will be working outside in the yard." Chakotay helped her out of bed and gently hugged her before turning to leave. She called him back, "Chakotay, thank you, I'm so sorry."

Chakotay returned with a mug of tea and found Kathryn dressed and doing her hair at her dressing table. "Here, drink a little tea, it should settle your stomach, it's chamomile. Did you make a doctor's appointment?"

"Yes, but how am I going to get out of the house."

"Not a problem. I called Admiral Paris and arranged for you to have permission to leave for medical treatment, that's allowed as long as you have an armed escort… and that would be me, that's why I'm wearing my uniform. He's arranged everything."

She turned to face him and gasped, "Oh no, you didn't tell him, did you? He and Mother are good friends, she'd…"

"Relax, Kathryn," he interrupted, "If it were something like what it is I knew he'd make you report to Starfleet Medical, so I told him it was for something on the list of elective procedures not covered by Starfleet Medical. When he asked what specifically it was for, I told him you're seeing a plastic surgeon to have your tattoo removed."

She laughed hysterically, "My tattoo removed? I don't have a tattoo, Chakotay!"

"Well, I was looking through the list of uncovered procedures while I was talking to him and I was on the Rs when he asked and I needed to come up with an answer fast, so it was either that or rhinoplasty. I figured he'd notice if you still had the same nose the next time he saw you, so I went for 'removal of tattoo'. Let's get going, are you ready? Oh, I'm supposed to be your official regulation 'armed security guard escort', so do you happen to have a phaser I could borrow?"

She grinned as she stood and put her shoes on, "You mean to tell me you came to see me, such as I was, without a phaser? You're braver than I thought, Chakotay. I'm sorry, but they confiscated my phaser, I'm supposedly dangerous, you know." She thought for a moment and went to her desk and rummaged through the bottom drawer. "Here, I have this old one, but it hasn't been charged since before I took command of Voyager, so all you could do is hit me over the head with it I'm afraid."

He clipped it to his uniform and grinned, "Are you going to try to escape, Kathryn?"

"No, I've been violent, selfish and pigheaded enough lately, I'll try to behave myself from now on, I promise. Come here, Chakotay, and sit beside me on the bed for a minute." They sat and she took his hands in hers and looked deep into his eyes before speaking. "I know this doesn't even begin to cover it, but I want to say that I'm sorry for the way I treated you and I hope that you can forgive me somehow. I'm sorry for the way I've treated a lot of people lately and I'll make amends, I promise. I'm not sure what happened to me, but I know I need help and I'll make an appointment at Starfleet to see a counselor when we get back. You can even go with me if you want to."

"I'm glad to hear that, Kathryn, I think it's the right thing to do. You're strong, you'll get through this and I'll do anything I can to help you. I've already forgiven you, but I think you also need to forgive yourself." He got up and pulled her to her feet. "Let's get you to the doctor, OK?"

She slowly drew in a breath and let it out with a sign, "OK, but I think I need a hug from my best friend first."

Kathryn and Chakotay had the opportunity to talk some things through on the long drive to the doctor's office as she'd chosen one in another town and made the appointment under an assumed name, to protect her privacy as Voyager's crew had achieved somewhat of a celebrity status since their return. Kathryn was still convinced that her position at Starfleet was not good, but she was now resolved to defend herself; she would not go down without a fight. She promised that she would meet with her lawyers as soon as possible and help plan her defense strategy. Slowly but surely, she was coming to realize that Kathryn Janeway did not die in the Delta Quadrant, she was just wounded, and she would recover, perhaps even stronger than before.

Chakotay nervously fidgeted in the waiting room at the doctor's office as he read one boring magazine after another. He did not take the fact that she had been in there for so long to be a good sign. He got up and stared out the window and retuned to his seat and was picking imaginary lint off his uniform as Kathryn finally emerged. She looked worse than when she had come in and had obviously been crying, so he was afraid her worse fear was indeed true. He went to her, put his arm around her shoulder and quietly asked, "Well, what did the doctor say?"

She looked around the crowded waiting room and whispered, "Not here, there's too many people, let's talk in the car."

"Alright, but there's a restaurant across the street, how about I get you something to eat and we can talk there? It's OK, I managed to get you sprung until 1700. You need to eat something, Kathryn." She agreed, so they walked across the street and sat at a quiet table way in the back of the dark restaurant. Chakotay put his hand on hers, "OK, Kathryn, what did the doctor say?"

"Well, the good news is I'm not pregnant. The reason I haven't had a period in awhile is that I've started menopause early. Apparently some of the depression, mood swings and trouble sleeping I've been experiencing the past couple of months are due to that, so she gave me an injection to correct it. I have a stomach virus, so that's why I've been vomiting, it's nothing serious and I have medication that should clear it up in a few days. She said the rest of it is probably due to stress, a hormonal imbalance, not eating properly and, well, you know the rest I'm sure, and I'm suffering from depression. I'm way underweight from not eating, well I guess you noticed that in the bathroom this morning, so I have to do a better job of eating, make sure to rest, try to relax… and stop being such a bitch," she added with an apologetic grin.

He held her hands and squeezed them gently. "I'm so glad it's nothing serious, Kathryn, I can't tell you how worried I was about you, and I'm glad you're getting treatment. If you'll let me, I'd like to stay and take care of you and help you to get better, both physically and spiritually. Maybe we can go out to the fishpond this evening and you can talk to your spirit guide and ask for it's help as well?"

"I'd like that, Chakotay. I also want to have a long talk with my mother this evening, I owe her an apology too and I want to be totally honest and tell her what I did, what you and I talked about, what the doctor said today… everything."

He smiled as he caressed her cheek, "I think that's the right thing to do, Kathryn. Well, let me get our waiter, I believe I promised you some lunch and I hope you'll promise me that you'll eat it and then take a nap when we get home."

"I promise." She slid his hand from her cheek and kissed the palm, "Thank you for still loving me, I love you too, Chakotay."

When Gretchen returned home from work, T'Ana met her at the door, took her things and joined her in the study. Gretchen spoke as she sorted through her messages on the com link, "So, how did things go today, where are Kathryn and Chakotay?"

"I do not know, Mrs. Janeway," she replied as she poured her a glass of water from the carafe on the credenza. "We were late in returning from the market and I was occupied most of the afternoon supervising the workers in the kitchen installing the new stasis units. I saw Miss Kathryn when she came into the kitchen for some pie after taking a nap, but I have not seen her since nor have I seen the Commander all day. Komn has been attending to their needs, Ma'am."

"Oh no, I hope Chakotay didn't leave! She took a sip of water, leaned her head back and sighed, "although I can't say that I'd blame him if he did."

"No, Ma'am, I think not. I just finished making up the bedrooms prior to your arrival and his belongings are still in his room."

"Well, that's good, let's go see if we can find them." Gretchen and T'Ana went their separate ways and searched throughout the large house, calling for them, but were unable to find them. They met on the veranda and Gretchen sat in a chair to rest and lamented, "I take it you didn't have any luck either, T'Ana?"

"No, Ma'am. I am familiar with all the places where Miss Kathryn goes when she does not wish to be disturbed, however she is not in any of them."

Gretchen sighed and rose from her chair, "Well, she has a security monitor, so she has to be on the grounds somewhere, we'll just have to look again! Chakotay may have just gone for a long walk to think, last night he said he might, but Kathryn has to be around here somewhere."

Komn entered and bowed deeply as he greeted Mrs. Janeway in French, "Good afternoon, Madame, I hope that you had a pleasant day. Might I be of service?"

"Hello, Komn, yes, have you seen Kathryn?"

"Yes, Madame. Mademoiselle Kathryn is in the vegetable garden."

Gretchen rubbed her temple in confusion, "The garden, what on earth is she doing out there?"

"She was digging, Madame," Komn replied.

Gretchen's face took on a look of concern. "Digging? She hates gardening, the girl's never touched a shovel voluntarily in her life!" She thought for a moment, "Oh my heavens, she didn't kill him did she? Komn, she isn't trying to bury a body back there, is she?" Gretchen relaxed and a crooked smile crept to her face as she caught herself at such a silly notion.

Komn bowed deeply again, stiffened to a straight posture and smiled, "No, Madame, I believe Mademoiselle Kathryn and Monsieur Chakotay are planting tomatoes."

THE BUTLER DID IT

PART DEUX

"Tomatoes?" Gretchen asked as she rubbed her forehead again. "Why on earth is she planting tomatoes?"

Komn grinned broadly as he replied in his very elegant French, "I wouldn't have the slightest idea, Madame."

Gretchen looked at T'Ana, who could only raise an eyebrow in reply as she had no idea why Kathryn would be doing such a thing either. Gretchen took her straw sun hat from its hook by the door, "Well, I'm going to go down there and see what this is all about. T'Ana, it's getting late, please have tea ready, it's such a nice day, we'll have it on the veranda."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Gretchen stormed out the porch door and down the path that led to the vegetable garden, which lay just beyond the tall hedges that enclosed the back yard. Komn toddled along behind her as fast as his short little legs would carry him, as few could keep up with Gretchen Janeway when she was on a mission. As Gretchen approached the entrance to the vegetable garden she could hear Kathryn screaming, so she quickened her pace. As she passed through the gate in the hedge and entered the vegetable garden, she stopped dead in her tracks and opened her mouth, however for one of the very few times in her life, Gretchen Janeway was speechless. Kathryn was lying on her back squirming in the dirt, as Chakotay had her arms pinned above her head with one hand and was covering her with dirt as fast as he could with the other. Kathryn was screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking up a storm, but she was also laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath.

Gretchen placed her hands on her hips and cleared her throat, "Kathryn Janeway, would you care to tell me what you're doing?"

Apparently Kathryn did not hear her mother over her own screaming and laughing, but Chakotay did and immediately sprang to his feet and tried to look serious, however his dimples betrayed him. Kathryn looked up at her mother, sat up on her elbows and tried to compose herself as best a little woman under a mound of dirt could.

Again her mother asked, "Kathryn, would you please explain exactly what you two were doing?"

"Uh, Hi, Mom, we were just… planting some tomatoes."

"Is that so? Interesting technique you have there, Dear!" Gretchen tried to keep a serious expression, but was having a hard time at the sight of her daughter lying there looking more like a gopher than her own flesh and blood. She turned to Chakotay and tipped her chin up, "Is there any particular reason you were trying to bury my daughter alive? What has she done to you now, Chakotay?"

He nervously brushed dirt off his clothes and shifted from one foot to the other as he answered, "Well, Ma'am, we were planting tomatoes like Kathryn said and well, she threw a shovel of dirt at me, Ma'am."

"I did not!" Kathryn exclaimed.

"You did too, Kathryn!" he smirked as he ceremoniously put his hands on his hips and huffed in his best "Captain Janeway stares down the Borg" impression.

"Did not! Say that again and I'll… make you eat dirt!" Kathryn threatened as she threw a handful of dirt at Chakotay, then shook her fist at him.

"You wouldn't dare you little…"

"Children, please, behave yourselves!" Gretchen exclaimed as she shook her head and started laughing. "I take it the two of you have worked out your differences then?"

Chakotay tugged at his earlobe as he grinned, "Yes, Ma'am, we have." Smiling sarcastically at Kathryn he added, "Well, most of them anyhow." Chakotay helped Kathryn up and put his arm around her shoulder as she tried to brush the dirt off her blue dress. Komn removed a handkerchief from his pocket and tried to assist them with the dirt, however he looked more like he was trying to chase the dust from a valuable vase without mussing his fancy clothes.

Gretchen grabbed his handkerchief and handed it back to him as she glared at Kathryn and Chakotay and said, "Give up, Komn, it's useless, the only way to get these two clean is to hose them down!"

"Oui, Madame, le tuyau de jardin," Komn said as he nodded, picked up the hose and began blasting Kathryn and Chakotay. They screamed, grabbed their shovels and huddled on the ground, trying to deflect the cold water as Komn most diligently pursued them, determined to get them clean and please his mistress.

"Komn!" Gretchen screamed, "I was just joking, for heaven's sake, I didn't mean for you to actually hose them down!"

Komn shook his head as he put down the hose and bowed, "Ah, so sorry, Madame. I no understand good the English, you know."

Gretchen laughed as she patted him on the back, being careful to speak to him in French this time, "That's quite alright, Komn, please go prepare a bath for Commander Chakotay… I think he could most certainly use one!" Komn smiled apologetically, bowed again and left. She picked the hose back up and Kathryn and Chakotay huddled together and cowered in the dirt again. "I wish I had my holo imager with me, you two are such a sight, but don't worry, I trust you can wash the mud off of yourselves well enough to get upstairs to bathe without ruining my carpets? I'll see you for tea on the veranda and it's so good to see you two friends again, … I think." Gretchen handed the hose to Kathryn and headed back to the house, listening to Chakotay scream as Kathryn got her revenge.

Gretchen smiled as Chakotay entered the veranda, "Well, you certainly look better, my dear! Tea?"

"Yes, please. I'm sorry about all the mess, but Kathryn really did throw dirt at me, she started it, I swear."

Gretchen laughed as she offered exquisite little cakes from a tray, "You don't have to convince me, Chakotay, Kathryn threw dirt at her sister all the time. She also made her eat it a time or two as I recall, so if I were you, I'd be careful and take her threat seriously."

"Yes, Ma'am, I will. Where is Kathryn? I knocked at her door but got no answer, so I figured she'd beat me down here."

"No, she hasn't come down yet. I wouldn't worry, she was probably just drying her hair and didn't hear you, I'm sure she'll be here before too long. I've never figured out how it is she can get out of bed, into a Starfleet uniform and out the door in ten minutes, but it takes her at least an hour to get into civilian clothes! So, would you care to tell me what possessed the two of you to go out there and wallow in the dirt like a couple of earthworms?"

Chakotay laughed as he sat his teacup down and related the story of Kathryn's planting the Talaxian tomatoes on New Earth. Kathryn had mentioned their stay there in her letters home, but she had left out details such as the tomatoes, the monkey and the bathtub. Gretchen listened intently as she learned little details of her daughter's life that she didn't know, details that served to explain more fully how much the man sitting across the table loved her daughter.

Chakotay noticed the time as the antique clock in the corner struck, "I didn't realize it was so late, shouldn't Kathryn be here by now?"

Gretchen glanced at the clock. "Yes, she should, would you mind running upstairs and seeing what's keeping her?"

"Of course," Chakotay smiled as he excused himself from the table and ran up the stairs. He knocked on Kathryn's door, but got no answer, so he opened it and stuck his head inside her room, calling her name. Kathryn was in her robe, curled up asleep on her bed, clutching a pillow tightly to her chest. He picked up a throw from the back of her love seat, covered her with it and gently kissed her on the forehead. Kathryn quietly sighed and clutched her pillow more tightly as she smiled in her sleep. He stood there a few minutes and just watched her sleep, something he had also done on New Earth, but never told her about. Kathryn had a sense of peace when she was asleep that made her even more beautiful, so beautiful that all Chakotay could do was stand there in awe of her. Realizing Gretchen would be waiting for him downstairs, he again kissed Kathryn lightly, quietly left her room and went back downstairs.

"There you are, I was about to send out a search party, Chakotay! Isn't Kathryn coming?"

"No, Ma'am, she was asleep, so I left her. She wasn't feeling well this morning, so I guess she laid down to rest for a few minutes and fell asleep." Chakotay realized Kathryn had planned to tell her mother about what had happened that morning herself, so he tried to cover his tracks and change the subject by adding, "I'm sure she's fine, from what you said she's not used to so much physical activity, I guess the gardening tired her out, that's all, I probably shouldn't have let her do it, but she insisted and you know how she can be. You said you would show me some of Kathryn's baby pictures, do you think I could see them now?"

"Of course, I'll go get them, but it would be more fun if I could show them to you with Kathryn here, she gets so embarrassed when I drag out her baby pictures, especially the one where I let her feed herself strained beets for the first time! She really was an adorable little baby, well, I guess every mother in the galaxy say that!" Gretchen pinched Chakotay's cheek as she left, "I bet you were an adorable little baby too, who knows, maybe you and Kathryn will have a beautiful little babies of your own one day?"

Chakotay smiled back at the thought, then he remembered what Kathryn had found out at the doctor's office that morning and he realized that having a baby was not a possibility for her anymore; medical science could do a lot, but it couldn't reverse menopause. They had never gotten anywhere near discussing having a child together, but he did remember that Kathryn had said some years ago that she hoped to have a baby some day. He recalled that, when Kathryn had given him the news about her menopause at lunch, he had said he was glad it was "nothing serious". Chakotay kicked himself for making such a thoughtless remark, the news had to be difficult for Kathryn and he should have been more considerate. She had to be upset about it, but either she was hiding it or didn't feel comfortable discussing it with him.

Gretchen returned with a stack of albums and she and Chakotay spent about an hour going over images of Kathryn's life, from the day she was born up until the party the night before she left to take command of Voyager. Gretchen described in great detail how little Katie had grown into the woman that he now loved so much. Kathryn had told him about the forced family camping trips, science fairs, ballet recitals and tennis tournaments, but she had never mentioned how she was once inseparable from the back of a horse, her hover board daredevil antics nor her teenage passion for scuba diving and swimming. He grinned from ear to ear as he saw a seven year old Kathryn, minus a front tooth, proudly displaying the first cake she baked, which actually looked slightly better than the one she'd tried to bake him for his last birthday.

Gretchen laughed as she set the albums aside, "Well, perhaps I should warn you that Kathryn still can't cook very well?"

He grinned as he patted her hand, "No need, I figured that out a long time ago and it doesn't matter! Thank you so much for showing me those pictures, it really was wonderful to see them. If you'll forgive me, I'm a bit tired, would it be alright if I take a nap before dinner?"

"Of course, Dear! When I told you to make yourself at home, I meant it. I'm sure you were upset about Kathryn last night and didn't sleep well, so go on upstairs, we eat at eight so I'll send Komn up to help you dress for dinner at 7:30."

Chakotay cringed with fear, "Oh, no, Ma'am, that's alright, really, there's no need to bother Komn, I'm sure he has a lot to do. I don't need any help, really!"

"Nonsense! Komn is a gentleman's butler, he's just thrilled to have a man to look after, he's very happy to assist you. He was Edward's butler and I really didn't need his services after we lost Edward, but Komn was like family, so I had to let him stay and I've spent the last twenty some years trying to think up things for him to do. Trust me, he's at his happiest when there's a houseguest he can cater too and he really is a very sweet man and a very good butler."

"Uh, yes, Ma'am. Well, thank you again for showing me the pictures and I'll see you at dinner." Chakotay went upstairs and checked on Kathryn, but she was still sound asleep, so he went to his room across the hall, took out his computer and sat on the bed. After a few minutes, he heard a gentle knock at his door. Glancing at the time, he saw it was still too early for Komn's arrival, but he went to the door and cautiously opened it only crack, just in case. "Kathryn, I'm glad it's you, please come in. How are you feeling?" He looked up and down the hall as she entered and he quickly shut the door behind her.

"Better, thanks, I guess I was more tired than I thought, I can't believe I slept that long, I missed tea. What's wrong with you, you opened the door like you expected 8472 to be on the other side of it!"

"Worse, I was afraid you might be Komn, your mother said she'd send him to help me dress for dinner. Kathryn, I don't mean to be rude or ungrateful, but I've been able to dress all by myself since I was four or five, I really don't need any help!"

"Chakotay, for heaven's sake, he's half your size and twice your age, the man is harmless! Besides, he told me he likes you and he's very glad to have you here, it's his job to help you."

"I know it is, your mother explained that to me, but I'm used to doing things myself and, besides, I can't understand a damn word he says, you know I don't speak French. You wouldn't happen to have a universal translator, would you?"

Kathryn laughed as she patted Chakotay on the back, "Sorry, I'm afraid Starfleet confiscated all their property for the time being and we don't have one here, Mother doesn't believe in them, says they're just a poor excuse for not learning the language. I have a little French phrase book with a dictionary I had when I was learning French as a child, I'll see if I can find it and give it to you." Kathryn sat on the bed and looked at Chakotay's computer screen. "What's this, you're reading about menopause?"

He sat down beside her. "Yes, Kathryn, I was, I'm afraid I didn't know much about it beyond the basics. I want to apologize for what I said this morning about it being nothing serious, while I know it's not medically serious, it was insensitive of me to say that and I'm really sorry. I don't know if you'd be comfortable discussing it with me, but that must have been traumatic for you to hear, especially since you're not that old and it happened to you so early, it must have come as a shock."

"I was just so glad I wasn't pregnant, it hasn't really sunk in yet I guess, but you're right and it was a shock. Well, it shouldn't have been, the symptoms were there, but I've been such a mess lately I wasn't paying attention… and you know I had a knack for staying away from the EMH. The doctor gave me some information to read, but I haven't had a chance to yet. I'll go get it and we can read over it together, I probably really should read it before I talk to Mother after dinner."

When Kathryn didn't return after a few minutes, Chakotay went across the hall and called for her at her open door. She didn't answer, so he walked in and found her sitting on the floor in front of her bookcase, holding a picture tightly to her chest. "Kathryn, are you OK?"

She looked up and smiled, "Yes, fine, just a little tired," but her cheeks were stained with tears. She handed him the picture. "My sister's kids. Chakotay, I think it just sunk in, it's too late for me to have children, I'm never going to be a mother like Phoebe is, am I?"

Chakotay sat down beside her and put his arm around her and held her for a few moments before speaking. "I'm sorry, Kathryn, I truly am." She looked up at him and smiled faintly as he wiped a tear from her cheek. He examined the picture closely, "They're beautiful children, I hope I get to meet your sister and her family. Kathryn, I know you can't have a baby now, but that doesn't mean you still couldn't be a mother, if you wanted to."

"I suppose," she said as she wiped her face with her sleeve and changed the subject. "Here, I found that French book, maybe it'll help you and Komn to get along better?"

"Thank you." He took the book from her, set it aside and gazed into her eyes. "Kathryn, any child would be lucky to have such an intelligent, strong and amazingly beautiful woman for a mother and there's lots of children out there who need a mother… and a father." Chakotay gathered her into his arms and kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway, I think I have since you first said hello."

Kathryn blushed as she thought for a moment, then she looked into his eyes and grinned. "As I recall, Chakotay, when we met, the first thing I said to you wasn't hello, it was to stop pointing your phaser at me!"

He brushed her lips gently again, "Well, it worked, seems you totally disarmed me and I've been your prisoner ever since… and I hope it's a life sentence."

"Me too," she whispered as she returned his kiss. "Well, it's getting late, would you like to help me pick out something to wear to dinner?"

"Sure, and then maybe I could hide in your closet until you can get rid of Komn?" He stood and pulled her to her feet. "I was just kidding, I'll try to be nice to him and I'm already dressed, so maybe he'll go away."

Kathryn looked at him and shook her head, "You can't wear that to dinner, Chakotay, it isn't, well, it isn't appropriate. Mother insists that we dress for dinner. Help me to pick out something and then I'll go and help you pick out something. Here, what do you think of this beige dress?"

"Kathryn, this isn't a closet, it's a hanger deck! Look at all this, it looks like you bought out an entire store, you could wear a different outfit every day for the next ten years!"

"Don't blame me, mother bought most of it, she thinks my taste is too boring, she calls me the Plain Janeway. I have the clothes I like and then the ones she likes and, since I've lost so much weight, none of it fits or looks right anyhow, so I don't really have a thing to wear! Now, what about this beige dress?"

Chakotay looked it over. "Well, it's really… beige… and plain. How about something blue, I think you look very pretty in blue and you look nice in dark green or shades of red too. I'm sorry, but I'm with your mom on the beige thing, I really think you look better in bright colors." She held up a navy blue dress for his approval. He shook his head, "Kathryn, that looks like a slipcover for a shuttle craft, you have a very pretty figure, you should show it off and not try to hide it under a tarpaulin. How about this maroon dress, this is very pretty, would you wear this?"

She snatched it from him and put it back. "Men! You only like that because it's low cut in the front!"

He took it back off the rack, "Kathryn, that's not true, I took it down because I liked the color and the fabric, how did I know what the front looked like? Give me a little credit, I'm not that bad, am I? I'll admit I like looking at you, you're so pretty I can't help myself… and I really think you'd look nice in this dress, so would you wear it… for me?"

"Oh, alright! C'mon, let's look through your clothes and pick something out for you before Komn gets here." They walked across the hall to Chakotay's room and Kathryn opened his closet and looked through his clothes. "Chakotay, is this all you have? There's nothing suitable for dinner here."

"Well, I'm sorry, this is all I have, I'm afraid. I know I need some new clothes, but I haven't had a chance to go shopping since I got back. There was a snafu at payroll with the Maquis and we didn't get actually get paid until a few days ago and, anyway, when you said you lived on a farm, I thought you meant… a farm and my clothes would be OK, I didn't know I'd need such fancy clothes. I'm sorry, Kathryn, I guess I just don't fit in around here very well."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled in tight, "I don't know about that, I'd say you're a perfect fit! Don't worry about it, Chakotay, just wear what you have on and it'll be fine, Mother will understand. Komn can take you shopping tomorrow and you can get whatever you need. You know me, I'm not so formal, it's Mother that is. The only replicator we have is the one in the kitchen, Mom doesn't like them either, and it isn't programmed to make clothes. I know this is all new for you and I'm sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I don't expect you to change, I like you just the way you are."

Chakotay wrapped his arms around Kathryn's shoulders and hugged her tightly, "That's good, Kathryn, because I like you just the way you are too. Well, actually I'd like it if you were a little bit taller, because it would make it easier to do this," Chakotay said as he leaned down and kissed Kathryn soundly on the lips. As he deepened the kiss and slid his hands down to her hips to lift her up, Kathryn turned her head and sharply pushed herself out of his embrace. "I'm sorry, Kathryn, did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just that you've never done that before, I mean, kissed me like that, I wasn't ready for it, I mean I'm not ready for it. Oh Chakotay, I'm sorry, I'm just so messed up right now, I don't know how I feel!"

He took her hand and smiled as he squeezed it, "Don't know how you feel… about me?"

She pulled her hand from his and turned her back. "Yes. No. Oh, I just don't know how I feel about anything right now!" Kathryn sighed as she slid down the closet wall and sat on the floor. "Look at me, a couple weeks ago I threw myself at a married man I don't love and had sex with him on the floor like a common whore… yes, we did it on the floor, and now the man that I do love tries to kiss me and I won't even let him and… ," Kathryn sobbed and rubbed at her nose with her sleeve, "and now here I am sitting on the floor of a closet, in my bathrobe, crying my eyes out again!" Kathryn drew her knees up to her chest, buried her face in them and started to cry.

Chakotay sat on the floor next to her and rubbed her back as she cried, knowing that she needed a good cry, needed to get things out. When her tears finally subsided and she looked up, he handed her a handkerchief and smiled at her. "Kathryn, when you're ready to talk, if you want to talk, I'm here for you. I'm sorry my kiss upset you, I thought it was the right time, but I guess I was wrong and I apologize, I know you said you wanted to take things slowly. Sometimes I'm too spontaneous."

Kathryn blew her nose into the handkerchief and pushed her hair back. "Don't you see, Chakotay, that's just it, it was the right time, I don't know why I went into panic mode, I know you'd never hurt me or try to force me into anything I wasn't ready for, oh gods I know that! I also know that you've been my best friend for the last seven years and, even when I treated you like dirt, betrayed you and tried to lock you out of my life, you were still there. I know you love me and I love you and trust you more than I thought I could ever love another person, so why am I so confused?"

He took her hands in his and looked straight into her soul, "Kathryn, I believe you when you say you love me, but I think you need to love another person too, you also need to love and trust this wonderful woman I know named Kathryn Janeway. You made an appointment to go see a counselor, right?" She nodded. "Well, why don't we wait to make any changes in our relationship until you do? I know this sounds corny, but I think you need to get back in touch with yourself, forgive yourself and learn to love and trust yourself again before you can get better. What I read about menopause said it can cause mood swings and it can take awhile for the medication to help, I'm sure that and the stress of what Starfleet has put you through have a lot to do with the way you've been feeling and some of your confusion." He helped her to her feet and she gave him a hug and a smile. "That's better. Now, go on and get out of here, I have to get ready, I have a hot dinner date with a very sexy woman named Kathryn Janeway."

Chakotay knocked at Kathryn's door, "Are you ready? It's time for dinner and I don't think your mother is into that fashionably late thing. May I come in?"

"Sure." Kathryn shouted from her room. Chakotay opened the door and stepped in to find her sitting at her dressing table. She handed him a string of pearls over her shoulder, "Can you please fasten these for me? My hands shake sometimes now, I can't seem to do it." He put them around her neck and she stood and turned to face him.

"Wow! Kathryn you look beautiful! No, more than beautiful, you look truly amazing." Kathryn had tried her best to pull herself together and did look pretty in the dress, even though it hung from her loosely and she was so thin that the curves that Chakotay loved so much were all but gone. Her high heels only served to accentuate how thin her legs had become and the dark burgundy color of the dress made her fair complexion look deathly pale.

"Thank you," she said as a faint hint of color came to her cheeks, "For the compliment and for being my friend. I see you have your uniform on, I told you what you had on was fine, you didn't need to change."

He smiled as he offered her his arm and they made their way to the dining room, "Well, you might have told me that, but you forgot to tell the penguin police!"

After dinner Kathryn took Chakotay aside, "I'm going to go talk to Mother, I have a feeling it's going to be a long talk, so why don't you go out to the kitchen and get Komn and ask him to show you to the pool? I'll get changed and join you when I'm done, I think a swim might help to relax me and I haven't even used the pool since I got home."

"OK, I think a swim would be good too, I haven't been swimming since we got back either. Kathryn, are you sure do you don't want me to come with you when you talk to your mother? I won't say anything, I'll just sit there and hold your hand, if it would make it easier for you."

"No, thanks, this is something I need to do on my own." She hugged him and reached up to give him a kiss before she sucked in her breath, gathered her courage and joined her mother in the study.

After a very emotional and tear filled talk, Kathryn emerged from the study and went to her room to change into her swim suit. She went to the pool, located in a large atrium addition to the side of the house, but the room was dark and the area around the pool was dry, so obviously Chakotay hadn't gone for a swim.

"There you are!" she exclaimed as she finally found him.

Chakotay put down his cue and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, I must've looked up the wrong word for pool, well, right word, wrong kind of pool. I thought you were the most dangerous person I knew with a pool cue, but Komn here is positively vicious, he's beaten me so many times I'm lucky I still have my shirt!" Komn bowed and smiled as he chalked up his cue.

Kathryn patted Komn on the back and grinned at Chakotay, "So, now you know who taught me how to play pool!" She waved at Komn as they left, "Merci, Komn, bon soir. Chakotay, for future reference, the pool with water in it is a piscine and the game is poule." She giggled, "I'm sure Komn knows the difference, but he's terrified of water and can't swim and he's unbeatable at pool, so I suspect the 'misunderstanding' was intentional, he can be quite mischievous when he wants to be! Go on, go get changed and let's try the other kind of pool, I'll wait for you there."

Chakotay entered the atrium and found Kathryn curled up on a chaise. "There you are, had a hard time finding my way here, this house is so big it should have a locator system like the big starships do! Oh, wow, you have a hot tub too, may we get in there first?" Kathryn nodded, so Chakotay threw off his robe and jumped into the hot tub. Kathryn took off her robe and started to go down the stairs into the tub. "Kathryn, aren't you going to take off your T shirt?"

She shook her head and slowly entered the tub and sat next to Chakotay. He put his arm around her and they leaned back until they were submerged up to their chins. She settled into his embrace as she spoke, "I took a really good look at myself in the mirror, I look horrible, I'm nothing but a bag of bones, I don't want you to see me like this. I don't know what I'm going to do, I was so upset after I talked to mother I lost my dinner, I can hardly eat anything and then it comes back up a lot of the time. Don't worry, I'm going to see the doctor after I see the counselor tomorrow, I promise."

"Good, I'm glad. It's probably just stress and that virus, but you should let Starfleet Medical check you out thoroughly, maybe you need some different medication or something? I did notice that you didn't eat much at dinner. How did your talk with your mother go?"

"Not very well, she was very angry with me for keeping things from her, Mom and I have always had a very open relationship and been totally honest with each other. When I told her about what happened with Mark she slapped me and called me a slut and she was so red in the face I thought she would have a heart attack. Chakotay, my mother has never struck me before in my life!" Kathryn sobbed and pulled herself back together before she continued, "Anyway, she did apologize for that, said she just lost her temper, couldn't believe what she was hearing. She told me how lucky I was that you didn't dump me when I told you about it, Mother thinks the world of you, you know. She was mad at you for not calling her this morning, but I convinced her that you didn't because I begged you not to and you saw to it I got to the doctor right away; don't worry, she's not mad at you anymore. We worked things out and she's glad I'm going into Starfleet Medical tomorrow, but I know I really hurt her and I've caused her a lot of pain, disappointment and suffering since I've been back. I apologized to her a hundred times, I don't know what more I can do."

"That's all you can do, Kathryn, you can't undo the past, you can only make changes in the future. I suspect she's just like you and needs a little time. My father always said that you should sit with a problem for awhile before you decide how to handle it and I think that's good advice. She's you mother, Kathryn, she loves you and she'll forgive you, you just have to have faith. OK?"

"Faith is about the only thing I have at this point."

"No it isn't, you have all your family and friends and you have this big Indian I know who's crazy in love with you and who happens to think you're the most wonderful woman in the world. He also thinks he can beat you to the other side of the pool, so come on!" Chakotay grabbed Kathryn's hand and helped her from the hot tub.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay, I'm tired and I don't feel too well, I don't even think I could make it to the other side of the pool. You go on and swim and I'll just float on a raft."

"No, if you're that tired, why don't you just go to bed early? What time is your appointment tomorrow, do you want me to go with you?"

Kathryn put a raft into the pool and crawled on top of it. "It's at eleven hundred and, thank you, but I want to go by myself. Komn can take you into town tomorrow to go shopping or you can take my car and go by yourself or you can just stay here and do whatever you want to until I get back. Why don't you go on and swim for awhile, I'm fine here, really."

"OK, just a couple of laps to work off all that food I ate at dinner and then how about I give you one of my famous backrubs, that should make you feel better, and then maybe we can sneak into the kitchen and find you something to eat?"

"OK, my stomach feels more settled now, so maybe I can keep something down." She splashed water at him, "Go on and swim!"

He splashed her back, "That was for throwing dirt at me this afternoon and this is for squirting me with the hose and, if you were feeling better, I'd dump you right off that raft!"

Chakotay swam for a few minutes, then returned to Kathryn and carried her to a chaise, noticing that, soaking wet, she hardly weighed anything. After they toweled off, he adjusted her chair so it was flat. "OK, lie on your stomach, I believe I promised you a backrub." Kathryn rolled over and he sat beside her and started to massage her shoulders. "Kathryn, this isn't working too well with that wet T shirt, take it off so I can get into your muscles properly."

He lifted her shirt to pull it off, but she tugged it back down. "No, I told you, I look awful, I don't want you to see me, just leave it on and do the best you can."

"Kathryn, please roll over and look at me." She rolled over and he pulled her up into a sitting position and held her hands. "Kathryn, Sweetheart, I saw you this morning, I know you're thin and I know you still have scars on your back from what the Borg did to you, but I don't care. I've seen you in a swimsuit before, you don't need to be shy with me, so please take off your shirt so I can give you a proper backrub. I'm sure it will relax you and make you feel better and that should help you to get a good night's sleep." He squeezed her hands and smiled, "Please?"

Kathryn turned back around, reluctantly pulled her T shirt off and laid back down. Chakotay threw a towel over her up to her waist and started massaging her back very gently as her skin was so thin over her bones it looked like it would tear. It was the first time he had seen the scars up close from where the doctor had removed her Borg spinal clamps, they weren't really all that unsightly, but the skin there had a rough texture to it, almost like a callous. He bent down and kissed the scars gently, which caused Kathryn to draw in her breath sharply.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, you just surprised me, those scars are ugly, why in the world would you want to kiss them?"

He kissed them again and continued massaging, "They're not ugly, they're a part of you like your freckles and that little red mark on the back of your neck just under your hair and the way your smile is a little bit crooked. I love you, Kathryn, I love all of you just the way you are and all those little things just make you different from everyone else, they make you all the more special to me. I know you're sick and you don't feel too pretty right now, but I happen to think you're the most breathtaking woman I have ever met; beautiful is more than just what I can see on the outside. You'll get well and gain back the weight you've lost and get back your muscles. When you're strong enough, we can go swimming every day, that's a great way to get your strength back."

"Oh, that feels so good, no wonder your mother would only let you rub her neck. It feels so good in fact I might fall asleep right here, so why don't we go to the kitchen and get a snack? I feel like I could eat something, maybe a little yogurt or some scrambled eggs and, I know this sounds silly, but I have a craving for a chocolate milkshake."

Chakotay laughed as he helped her up and held up her robe for her, "Kathryn Janeway craving chocolate? That sounds pretty normal to me! Let's go raid the galley, how about I fix you one of those omelets like I used to make for you back on New Earth… and a chocolate milkshake?"

She slid her arm around his waist as he did the same, "That would be wonderful, Chakotay, just like old times!"

The next morning Chakotay awoke early, dressed and made his way to the kitchen. T'Ana was busy arranging fruit on a platter and had several pans going at once on the stove. Chakotay watched her work, marveling at her efficiency as she seemed to be able to keep so many things going at the same time. As she turned and saw him, he smiled and spoke, "Good morning, T'Ana, I'm amazed at how coordinated you are, we could certainly use someone like you at Starfleet! Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Good morning, Commander. Thank you, however I do not require assistance, I am accustomed to preparing meals. I regret I was unaware you would be rising so early, if I had known I would have seen to it that Komn arrived to assist you at the proper time. Mrs. Janeway is in the breakfast room having coffee, breakfast will be served shortly if you would care to join her, Sir."

"Yes, thank you." He looked down and grinned rather incredulously, "They have a room… just for eating breakfast?"

T'Ana replied as she continued preparing breakfast, "Not exactly, Sir, the room is merely called the breakfast room, however it is sometimes used for lunch as well. When Mrs. Janeway is home for lunch she sometimes has lunch there, or in her study or, when the weather is suitable, she prefers to eat on the veranda. If you would prefer to have breakfast in your room, I shall have Komn bring you a tray at once."

"Oh, no, that won't be necessary! Where's the breakfast room?"

T"Ana pointed to a door at the far end of the kitchen, "Just through there, Sir. Coffee has already been served, but if you prefer, I shall prepare tea for you."

"No, coffee is fine, thank you." Chakotay smiled as he left the kitchen and joined Gretchen in the breakfast room. "Good morning, Ma'am, may I join you?"

Gretchen looked up from her PADD and smiled, "Good morning, Chakotay, yes, please help yourself to coffee and juice. You're up early, did you sleep well?"

"Very well, thank you. I listened at Kathryn's door, but I didn't hear any noise, so she must still be sleeping. She was very tired last night, but I did get her to eat a little something before she went to bed.

"Well, that's good, I'm afraid I lost my temper and upset her pretty badly last night, although she most certainly upset me as well. She told me she had already told you everything she told me and I must say you certainly are forgiving. I just don't know what's gotten into that girl the way she has been behaving, but I can see that you have had a good influence on her and obviously have the patience of a saint, and for that I thank you. I want to apologize for making that remark about you and Kathryn having children one day, had I known the situation, I never would have said that, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be presumptuous, but you strike me as the kind of man who would have wanted a large family, I assume you and Kathryn wanted children?"

Chakotay smiled as he sat his coffee cup down, "There's no need to apologize, you couldn't have known. Kathryn and I never discussed having children or anything close to that, but she did say once she wanted to have a baby someday, although it was a long time ago and she didn't mean with me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I knew, but Kathryn wanted to tell you herself and asked me not to tell you. She really is sorry, I think she's just very confused and I think a lot of what is going on with her is medical, she's happy one moment and crying the next, I just wish there were something I could do to help her."

Gretchen took Chakotay's hands in hers, "Chakotay, you are doing everything for Kathryn by just being here for her, I don't even want to think about what state she'd be in now if you hadn't come or had left when she lit into you like a Tiberian bat. Hopefully the medication they gave her will kick in and her mood swings won't be so bad, she was never like that before and menopause can be very difficult for some women; my mother had a terrible time with it. I'm glad you have the patience to deal with it, I'm afraid I was short on that last night, I just never thought I'd hear such things come out of Kathryn's mouth, I didn't raise her to be a… well, I didn't raise my girls that way I assure you. So, what are your plans for today, are you going to Starfleet Medical with Kathryn?"

"No, Ma'am, I tried, she said she wants to go by herself. If it wouldn't be a problem, I'd like to go shopping today to get some new clothes, I don't really have the proper clothes to wear here, and I thought I might get a gift for Kathryn to cheer her up. Do you have any idea what she might like, has she mentioned anything she wants or needs?"

Gretchen laughed as she refilled their coffee cups, "No, Dear, I haven't heard Kathryn mention anything specific and you undoubtedly know better than I do what she would like. Please don't feel that you have to buy yourself new clothes on my account, I want you to make yourself at home here, so feel free to wear whatever you want, you needn't dress formally for dinner if you don't want to; I can tell you're a casual sort of person and that's just fine. I realize this family probably isn't what you expected and you're not used to all this, but I want to be certain that you don't feel uncomfortable here; I consider you a part of this family now, Chakotay."

Before he had a chance to respond, T'Ana entered with a huge tray and served breakfast. Gretchen and Chakotay ate a leisurely breakfast as Chakotay related the story of his people and his childhood on his home world. He was pleased to discover that Gretchen was very interested in native American culture and they planned trips to some of the Native American cultural museums as soon as time would permit.

After breakfast they talked over more coffee and Gretchen took Chakotay to the stable to see the horses. The sight of barns, fields of crops in the distance, livestock and a flock of chickens pecking in the dirt in the barnyard finally confirmed that it was indeed a farm as Kathryn had always said, even if the main house looked more like a palace than a farm house.

Gretchen and Chakotay walked out into the paddock and the horses ran to them, looking for treats. Gretchen smiled as she rubbed the forehead of an old bay mare, "This is Electra, she's my favorite, she's seen better days, but she still loves to go out on the trails. She's slow, but she's as gentle and dependable as a horse could be and, at my age, that suits me just fine. That small chestnut Arab gelding with the white stockings over there is Alaraf, he's Kathryn's, but she hasn't been able to visit him because her security monitor won't let her this far from the house I'm afraid. Her sister was the one who was horse crazy, but Kathryn loved them too and used to go for a ride every time she came home to visit. This just wouldn't be a farm without the horses, I adore them and, besides, the grandkids love to ride when they come to visit. Do you ride, Chakotay?"

"I did at home when I was younger, my uncle had horses, even farmed with them, but I haven't been riding in a long time. I do love horses though, and you certainly have some beautiful ones. Thank you for showing me around, but it's getting late and I'd like to check on Kathryn to see if she's up yet and to make sure she eats some breakfast, she has a habit of skipping breakfast. Well," he chuckled, "I guess you know that?"

"I do, but it's a matter of interpretation, as Kathryn always considered a cup of coffee to qualify as breakfast. I, on the other hand, do not! If you would like to go riding anytime, please feel free, just ask Raymond to help you, he's always around here somewhere, he lives in that little house over there beyond the stable. Go ahead back to the house, I want to find Stanak and have a chat with him about the azaleas. I'll see Katie before she leaves and please see if you can talk her into letting one of us go with her."

"Yes, Ma'am." Chakotay left and went to Kathryn's room as it was almost ten o'clock, which wouldn't leave her much time to get ready and have a decent breakfast before she had to beam to Starfleet for her appointments. Kathryn was still asleep and he had to shake her to wake her. She was groggy and seemed somewhat disoriented and definitely looked worse than she had the day before. Fearing she might fall in the shower, he asked T'Ana to help her and went to the kitchen to fix her one of her favorite mushroom omelets. Kathryn took a few bites and only drank about half a cup of coffee before she hugged Chakotay and her mother and beamed away for her medical appointments at Starfleet.

Chakotay lamented as he cleared Kathryn's dishes from the table and put them on the tray, "She didn't look very good this morning, I'm worried about her. T'Ana told me she had to put safety pins in her uniform pants to keep them on, she's lost so much weight they wouldn't stay up otherwise."

"I'm worried too, she looked like death warmed over and I really wish she would have let you go with her." Gretchen sat back down and sighed, "At least she went. I'll call Owen after awhile and make sure she went to her appointments, as erratic as she's been lately, I'm ashamed to say I feel like I should check up on her, Starfleet captain or not." She thought for a moment and grinned, "Well, I'm her mother, I guess it's my privilege! If you'd like to go into town with Komn, he should be leaving shortly, or you can borrow my car if you want and I'm sure Katie wouldn't mind if you borrowed hers."

Chakotay sat back down, "If you don't mind, I changed my mind, I think I'd rather stay here, I want to be here when she gets back."

Gretchen gave Chakotay a hug, "There, you looked like you could use that, Dear. Why don't you go out to the garden and pick some flowers and put them in Kathryn's room? Have Stanak show you where the roses are and she loves pink peonies too, go ahead and pick whatever you like. I'm going to go grade some papers, but I'll see T'Ana about lunch first, what would you like?"

"Anything is fine, I'm not really a picky eater and, after such a big breakfast, I'm not that hungry." Chakotay went to the back yard and found Stanak tending the fish pond. They picked some flowers, arranged them in a vase and Chakotay took them to Kathryn's room and sat them on the bedside table. He took a few minutes to walk around and study the room that had been Kathryn's virtual prison since her return from the Delta Quadrant. He had always thought Kathryn's room would be more like her: simple, classic and elegant, and he wondered how he had never had the slightest indication that Kathryn's home and family would be what it was.

He sat at her dressing table and looked it over. There was a mirrored tray of perfume bottles, he idly opened them and smelled each one, easily identifying the one with the scent she wore most often. He looked at the bottle noticing the name, the fragrance was so familiar to him, yet he didn't know what it was called. He had often admired it, but never thought to ask what it was and realized he should have known. Chakotay opened a small jewelry box and sifted through the contents, mostly pearls. He took out a small pink velvet bag, opened it and a beautiful ring of diamonds and emeralds slid out into his palm. He'd never seen Kathryn wear a ring of any sort, not even since returning home. Chakotay slipped the ring on the end of his little finger and looked at it as it sparkled in the sunshine coming through the windows.

"That doesn't go with what you're wearing!"

Chakotay was startled and jumped, knocking over the jewelry box and its contents onto the floor. He bent down to pick it up, "I'm sorry, Gretchen, you caught me being nosy and snooping through Kathryn's things I'm afraid. I apologize, that was wrong of me."

She bent down to help him pick up the jewelry, "That's quite alright, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She has all this lovely jewelry and hardly ever wears any of it, last night was the first time I've seen her wear any since she got home. Gretchen held out the small pink bag and Chakotay slipped off the ring. As he did he noticed the inside of the wide band was engraved and he read it: To Kathryn, my love forever- MJ. He gave it back to Gretchen and looked down as he realized he had found a relic from her past he didn't want to.

She sat down on the small bench next to him, handed him back the ring and put her arm around him. "Chakotay, it's not what you think, this ring belonged to Edward's mother, her name was Kathryn too, we named Katie after her, it was her engagement ring and she left it to my Katie. MJ was Matthew Janeway, her grandfather. In case you're wondering, the engagement ring that Mark gave her right before she took command of Voyager didn't fit and she left it with him so he could have it sized while she was gone, horrible garish thing that it was. Katie really didn't like it and that bastard was either so cheap or so tacky that the poor woman he married is dragging it around now. Can you believe it, he gave her the same ring he gave Kathryn?"

Chakotay managed a smile as he handed the ring back to her, "Well, even where I come from that would be considered to be in bad taste! That ring is very pretty, is it the sort that Kathryn likes? I've never seen her wear a ring, so I don't know what she likes."

Gretchen smiled and pinched his cheek, "So, Son, thinking of going shopping for a ring, are you?"

He smiled, looked down for a moment, met her gaze, then looked back down as he nervously twiddled his fingers. "No, not really, not yet, I mean, well… I hope maybe some day, Kathryn wants to take things slowly, I mean, I'd like to… it never hurts to think ahead, to know what she'd maybe like, if she, someday… if we…."

Gretchen gave him another hug, "I'd better stop you before you get your tongue so tied you hurt yourself. Here, you straighten up her dressing table and I'll be right back and we can go have some lunch." Gretchen went down the hall to her room, returned a few minutes later, sat beside Chakotay and handed him a small box.

He opened it, looked at the rose shaped ring of tiny rubies, emeralds and diamonds and smiled, "It's lovely, is this what Kathryn would like, something like this?"

Chakotay closed the box and handed it back to Gretchen, but she smiled as she pushed his hands away. "Yes, it's the ring that Edward gave to me when he asked me to marry him. I wore it until he gave me this one that I wear now on our twenty fifth wedding anniversary. I want you to have it," she grinned mischievously, "in case you happen to find a very special stubborn red headed Starfleet captain that you think it would look good on."

Chakotay was taken aback. "Oh, no Ma'am, I could never accept something like this, it's too…"

"Nonsense!" she interrupted, "Katie loves this ring and I had always planned to leave it to her anyhow. I know you love my daughter and I want you to have it. I'm not trying to push you into anything, I know you need time, but I really think there might come a day when you'll want to give it to Kathryn just like her dear father gave it to me, so you keep it until then." She gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You know there's no point in arguing with a Janeway woman, so let's go down to lunch."

Chakotay opened the box back up and looked at the ring again, "It's so beautiful, don't know what to say."

Gretchen stood and pulled him to his feet, "Thank you will suffice for now, but on the day I give you my daughter I'm going to expect a lot more than that! Give me a hug and we'll call it even for now. I know things will work out for you and Kathryn and, knowing that she will have such a wonderful kind man to love her and look after her for the rest of her life is really all the thanks I need, my dear."

Chakotay slipped the ring into his pocket and offered Gretchen his arm to escort her down to lunch. "Thank you so much, I hope that ring can grace the hand of a beautiful woman again very soon."

Gretchen smiled as she looped both hands over his arm, "At my age, flattery will get you everywhere, my dear!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Chakotay chucked as they descended the grand staircase. "After lunch, if it isn't too personal, would you tell me the story of how you and Kathryn's father met and fell in love?"

"I'll do better than that, I'll show you the exact spot in the garden where he proposed and gave me that ring!" She thought for a moment, "In fact, now that I think of it, Edward said he chose that spot because his father gave his mother that emerald ring you were looking at in the same exact spot too, this house has been in the Janeway family for generations."

Chakotay seated Gretchen at the table and put his hands on her shoulders, "Yes, please show me that exact spot in the garden, I wouldn't want to be the one to break a long Janeway family tradition! I guess it shouldn't come as a big surprise that my family was very traditional too."

"Not a bit. Your parents must have been very special indeed, because they instilled a wonderful kindness and traditional values within you." Gretchen was interrupted by Komn, informing her she had an urgent call on the com link. She excused herself and returned a few minutes later, clearly shaken. She sat back down and pushed her plate aside. "That was Owen Paris, Kathryn collapsed during her session with the counselor and they've admitted her. She's severely malnourished and they had to sedate her and insert a feeding tube, they said she only weighs a little over 40 kilos, I had no idea she was that thin. She has some kind of virus, but I wonder if she wasn't intentionally trying to starve herself to death, my poor baby! Chakotay, you took her to the doctor yesterday, is there something more going on, something you're not telling me? I don't care about her privacy right now or if she asked you not to tell me, please tell me what's going on!"

"Trust me, Ma'am, I would tell you if I knew anything. I did take her to the doctor yesterday, but I didn't go in with her, so I don't know what the doctor said, only what Kathryn told me. I saw her vomit yesterday morning, it just came on her suddenly while we were having breakfast in her room and she said she vomited after dinner last night. I saw her in a swim suit last night and I didn't really realize how thin she was either, but I didn't say anything to her as I knew she was going to the doctor today; she does know she's too thin and she's worried about it too, I don't think it's intentional. I don't know what's going on either beyond what she has told us, but at least she'll get the care she needs now because they can order her to stay there. May we go see her?"

"No, Owen said she's not allowed any visitors yet. She's still technically under his command, so they did let him go in and see her, but all he said was she was sedated and was resting comfortably. They're going to run some tests this afternoon and should have the results this evening, Owen said he'd call when he knew more. I'm so worried about her, but I guess there's really nothing we can do, so let's just try to eat something, shall we?"

Chakotay leaned across the table and put his hand over Gretchen's, "Yes, Ma'am, I'm sure they'll take good care of her and Admiral Paris will call and let us know what's going on and we can visit her as soon as they'll let us. Kathryn will get better, we just have to have faith."

The afternoon passed slowly. Gretchen had to prepare to teach the next day, so she shut herself in her study and kept busy. Chakotay really had nothing to do, so he went for a walk, but returned to the house before he had gone far as he realized he wanted to be there when the admiral called about Kathryn. He walked around the parlor and admired all the fine furnishings again, took down a book and sat to read it, but he couldn't concentrate, so he put it back. He went to the atrium and looked over the vast array of tropical plants there. A small étagère held a collection of orchids and he enjoyed their delicate beauty and exotic scents.

"Do you like orchids, Sir?"

Chakotay was startled as he was only becoming aware of the Janeway household's servants' uncanny ability to move about the house without making a sound. "Yes, Stanak, I do, these are very pretty. Do you know what varieties they are? I have a Vulcan friend who is also very fond of cultivating orchids."

"Indeed. I assume you are referring to Tuvok?" Chakotay nodded. Stanak picked up a pot and handed it to Chakotay. "This rare Vulcan variety was a gift to the Janeways the last time that Tuvok and his wife visited, it is over one hundred years old. I do not believe in superstitions, however this orchid had been dormant for the past several years and began blooming on the day that Miss Kathryn returned home, so I consider it a… fascinating coincidence. If you wish, I shall show you the plants in the atrium, Admiral Janeway was very fond of plants and brought back many interesting specimens from his travels, many of which still survive."

"Thank you, Stanak, that would be very kind of you."

Stanak showed Chakotay the various plants and explained them with the detail that only a trained horticulturalist could provide, he was indeed more than a mere groundskeeper and seemed to have a very un-Vulcan sentimental attachment to the plants he tended. As Chakotay failed to respond to a question Stanak asked, he surmised, "Sir, I can see your concern over the welfare of Miss Kathryn preoccupies your thoughts, perhaps it might be better to tour the atrium at another time?"

"Oh, Stanak, I'm sorry, yes I am worried about her. Please continue, I really am very interested in the plants."

Stanak motioned towards a display of some sort of large flowering potted trees. "As you wish, Sir. If I may make a suggestion, I understand that you practice a form of meditation, perhaps when we are finished it might be beneficial if you remain here among the plants to meditate? My daughter T'Ana informs me you and Miss Kathryn are quite significant to one another, so your concern with her health is quite understandable; the entire household is quite concerned with her welfare. She often sat on that small bench beyond these Saurian manaba trees when she wished to meditate, perhaps you would also find it a suitable location?"

"Yes, thank you, you're right, that would be a good idea, but please continue, I'm really very interested in the plants." Chakotay refocused his attention and enjoyed the rest of his tour of the greenhouse. Stanak left and Chakotay sat beside the fountain as he tried to clear his mind. Deciding that the Vulcan had given him wise advise, he went upstairs to retrieve his medicine bundle and akoonah, however something drew him to Kathryn's room instead of his own.

T'Ana had not had a chance to tidy the room yet, so it was just as Kathryn had left it. He picked up her towel from the seat of a chair and hung it in back up the bathroom. Kathryn had left her make up sitting out and he picked up each item and examined it, noting that her lipstick color was 'Rigelian red' and she blushed her cheeks with 'mauve madness'. He chuckled to himself at the silly names of the colors, surely she had chosen them because they suited her and not for the ridiculous names. Chakotay made mental notes of the colors, realizing there were still many things that he didn't know about Kathryn. He knew all the important details, but he didn't yet know the myriad of little things, the things that are individually insignificant, but collectively important.

Her nightgown was laying across the foot of the bed, he picked it up and held it to his face, inhaling the scent that was Kathryn; at least he knew the name of it now. The gown was the same pale blue one she had worn on New Earth, although now it was faded and worn from many years of use. He neatly folded it and moved to place it on her pillow, however he noted her pillow still had a hollow in it from where her head had rested. He laid down next to where she had slept and held the gown to his cheek as he unintentionally drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the day when he would finally be able to sleep beside Kathryn. There was nothing erotic to his dream, he merely dreamt of sleeping beside her, feeling the warmth of her body, the gentle rhythm of her breathing and what it would be like to have her be the first thing he saw in the morning, every morning. Feeling her caress, he rolled over and moaned, "Kathryn…"

"Sorry, Dear, it's just me," Gretchen replied as she gently rubbed his shoulder. Chakotay awoke slowly from his dream and sat up, realizing that he was only holding Kathryn's nightgown. Gretchen sat on the edge of the bed and smiled as she spoke gently, "T'Ana came up awhile ago to make up Katie's room and told me you were here. Don't worry, I understand, I sometimes used to sleep in here too when I was lonely and missing her. It's time for tea, Owen just called and the good news is they think Kathryn's going to be OK, they have diagnosed the virus and can treat it. The bad news is they want to keep her sedated and keep feeding her through a tube so her body can get stronger and they won't let us see her until Saturday afternoon at the earliest, she's in pretty rough shape."

Chakotay sat up and rubbed his face as he took in what Gretchen had said. "Saturday? That's three days from now! Can't we at least go in and just look at her sleeping? I don't need to talk to her, just to see her and know that she's OK."

"Trust me, I tried. Owen has no objection, but her doctor is being rather stubborn and insists that she have no visitors, he wouldn't even let Owen in to see her again. Unfortunately a Starfleet doctor trumps an admiral, not to mention us, so we have little say in the matter. Why don't you wash your face and join me for tea in the study and you can help me to find someone to fix up Katie's house, I'm having a devil of a time finding someone who can do carpentry and repairs on a house that old."

"Kathryn has a house?" Chakotay asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yes, her house in San Francisco. When Starfleet declared Voyager lost I rented it out and I'm sorry to say the tenants didn't take very good care of it. When they left I just had it shut up and, to be honest, I pretty much forgot about it. When I heard Katie was coming back, I went to check on it and I'm afraid it's in pretty bad shape and needs a lot of work. I wanted to get it all fixed up to surprise her, but the house is so old it needs someone skilled in old fashioned carpentry and most people nowadays haven't the foggiest idea how to do a job like that properly. I'm having no luck finding anyone who will even go and look at it, they either don't want to work on an old house or are too busy to get to it for months."

Chakotay rubbed his chin, "Mmm, how much work does the house need?"

"I don't really know," Gretchen scratched her head as she thought, "I don't know much about that sort of thing, I'm afraid, all I know is it's a mess. Kathryn hasn't even asked about it since she got back, I really wanted to fix it up, have her belongings beamed back from storage and surprise her. She was trying to fix it up herself before she left, but she hadn't gotten too far and I fear all her hard work was undone by those retched people that rented it. I'm so mad at myself, I should have just closed it up and let it be."

"Well, I know how to do old fashioned carpentry, I'd be glad to take a look at it. Maybe we could go into San Francisco early Saturday and look at it, then I could take you out for lunch and we can go see Kathryn. A lot of the Voyager crew is back on Earth now, I bet I could round up some people to help me. Uh, how big is it, it isn't like your house, is it?"

Gretchen laughed, "Heavens no, Starfleet doesn't pay her that much, Katie bought that house all on her own! It's a cute little late twentieth century three bedroom house, well, two really, she used the third for an office. I don't know why she bought such an old run down place, but when she saw it she just had to have it and you know her when she gets her mind set on something. It would be wonderful if you could look at it, thank you so much."

Chakotay stood and offered Gretchen a hand up off the bed. "No problem, I'd be glad to do it if I can, I really enjoy carpentry and I have plenty of free time. If you'll give me a minute to wash up, I'll be right down for tea."

The next three days passed slowly, very slowly. Gretchen had her work to keep her busy, but Chakotay really had nothing to do. He did accompany her to the university the following day and took the opportunity to tour the campus and have lunch with an old friend from the academy who was now an anthropology professor there and he spoke with an impromptu gathering of Gretchen's students who were interested in hearing about his experiences in the Delta Quadrant.

On Thursday Chakotay succumbed to Komn's need to be helpful and let him drive him into Bloomington to shop for new clothes and a gift for Kathryn. Styles had certainly changed in the seven years that he had been gone and he finally gave in and trusted Komn to know what sort of more formal clothes he needed for dinners at the Janeway home, however he drew the line at a traditional tuxedo that looked just like Komn's and opted for one in a more contemporary style. Komn insisted that he buy a bottle of something labeled in Bolian that he didn't have the faintest idea what it was, however it made Komn finally stop babbling when he handed it to the clerk, so he thought it well worth the rather exorbitant price for a little blue bottle of who knows what. Komn insisted he smell it, so it was most certainly some sort of cologne, even though it didn't have much of a scent.

A gift for Kathryn initially proved to be a challenge, but when he spied a little enameled tomato charm on a gold chain he knew he had found the perfect thing. The clerk politely asked who such an unusual necklace was for and he grinned as he said, "It's for my girlfriend, she… really likes tomatoes." The saleslady gave him an odd sort of expression, but he couldn't decide if she had recognized him from the news or it was just that she had never seen a man accompanied by a little old Bolian butler buy a tomato necklace before. He smiled to himself as he realized that was the first time he had referred to Kathryn as his "girlfriend". He wondered if Kathryn would think the word sounded silly at their age, but, silly or not, it fit as he was smitten with her as any teenager could be. He also decided that, since the store had a tomato necklace for sale, it surely wasn't the strangest thing on the planet.

When they returned to the car Chakotay took out the little French book Kathryn had given him and managed to get across to Komn that he wanted to buy a gift for Mrs. Janeway. Her invitation had been so sudden he hadn't thought to get something for her before leaving and he realized he should have gotten her a gift, flowers at the very least. Obviously the woman had ten of everything and didn't really need anything, but Komn was driving like a madman on a mission, so he must have had an idea of the perfect place to shop.

Chakotay was rather amazed when Komn parked in front of a Ferengi boutique as he couldn't imagine what interest a woman like Gretchen Janeway would have in tacky Ferengi gewgaws. Komn was apparently acquainted with the shopkeeper and they exchanged some spirited conversation in either Bolian or Ferengi, he wasn't sure which. The shopkeeper led them past the tacky souvenirs to a small room in the back of the store and opened an old cargo container, revealing a collection of junk from every corner of the galaxy. He rummaged through it, tossing out every manner of useless flotsam until he finally nodded and pulled out a ragged old box. As the Ferengi drew in a breath to blow the dust from the box, Komn snatched it from him and used his handkerchief to meticulously dust the box before returning it to the shopkeeper. The Ferengi smiled again, revealing a mouthful of perfectly sharpened teeth, as he opened the box and held it out for Chakotay's inspection.

Chakotay stood in awe of what he saw, for the battered old box contained a most exquisite chess set nestled among some dried grass and leaves. He reached out to pick up a piece, but the Ferengi snatched the box away and carried it to the counter before he could. Komn exchanged some stern words with the shopkeeper and he finally allowed Chakotay to remove the pieces from the box and lay them out on the counter. The pieces were intricately carved of some sort of brown and white stone and they were each shaped like delicate little horses, yet it was easy to distinguish which piece represented which of the various chess pieces.

As Chakotay examined them he remembered that, each time he had played chess with Gretchen, she had taken out a different chess set, so it stood to reason she collected them and would certainly love a set where the pieces were all shaped like horses. Komn might have been annoying in his need to serve and lack of fluency in English, but he had been in the Janeway's employ for decades, so he certainly would know what Mrs. Janeway would like.

When the shopkeeper named his price for the chess set, Chakotay nearly swallowed his tongue as he had just spent a small fortune at the upscale clothing shop Komn had taken him to; the Janeways didn't shop at the sort of places he was accustomed to. He drew in a breath and relaxed as he remembered Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #141: "Only fools pay retail." The shopkeeper was taken aback as he obviously thought he had the dumbest of tourists in front of him, but Chakotay was a skilled negotiator and soon had him bargained down to a more reasonable price and he even threw in some alleged relic discs of the previous Grand Negus for good measure.

When they returned to the car Komn undoubtedly broke butler protocol and patted Chakotay on the back as he said, "Très bien, Monsueir, you give a fish to Monsieur Tok! Please to regard Grand Nagus?"

Chakotay wasn't sure what that meant as Komn's English was confusing at best, but he took it as a compliment as he handed over the Ferengi relics. Komn examined them with great enthusiasm and reverence as he was obviously convinced that he held some genuine vacuum-desiccated bits of Grand Nagus Zek in his hands. Chakotay thought the relics looked more like pieces of Starfleet's replicated fried pork chops, but he could see Komn thought they were special so, when Komn tried to return them, he gave them back, insisting "No, Komn, for you, a present, merci." Komn nearly broke out in tears as he carefully placed the relics into his bag and started driving for home. Chakotay sat back and relaxed as he now had the right clothes, perfect gifts for two very special ladies and he had managed to get rid of the Ferengi relics and make Komn the happiest Bolian butler on earth, all in the same afternoon.

After dinner Chakotay presented Gretchen with the chess set and she was absolutely delighted with such an unusual and thoughtful gift. "Chakotay, where on earth did you manage to find something like this? I've never seen anything like it, it's absolutely lovely, such delicate little horses!"

Chakotay related his story of the visit to the Ferengi boutique and gave Komn the credit for knowing where to look. He mentioned that he found the perfect little gift for Kathryn when they went to visit her on Saturday, but he refused to show it to Gretchen ahead of time. She got her revenge for that by beating him in three straight chess games with the new set before she retired for the evening. Chakotay went for a swim and a soak in the hot tub and then turned in for the night as well.

The next morning Chakotay got up early, realizing if he arose a bit earlier every day, he could get showered and dressed before Komn's arrival, although the plan would eventually fail of course. He felt bad deliberately avoiding Komn and preventing him from doing his job, but Chakotay just wasn't comfortable with the concept of a butler yet, even though he and Komn had arrived at a state of domestic détente for the time being.

Mrs. Janeway arose early on the mornings she had to teach, so she was already having coffee in the breakfast room and greeted him with a smile, "Good morning, you're up early again! What are your plans for today, would you like to go into the university with me again?"

"Good morning, Gretchen. No, thank you, I thought I would stay here and catch up on some correspondence. I'm afraid I haven't been very good about it the last few days and word has apparently gotten around to a few of the crew that Kathryn is ill, so I should let people know what's going on."

"That's fine, Dear, isn't it amazing how bad news travels at warp speed? I had a message from Owen this morning and he says she's still sedated and not responding to the medication as quickly as they had hoped, but so far her doctors still say they will still bring her out of it tomorrow morning and we can see her in the afternoon. I'm so worried about my Katie, but I'm sure Starfleet is giving her the best care possible. Remind me to go up to her room and pack some things for her when I get home, I know she'll be more comfortable with her own gowns and things if they'll let her have them."

"Yes, Ma'am, I know she would be, we all hate those scratchy ugly Starfleet medical gowns, I think they only have them to get you up and back in your uniform as fast as possible! I was thinking about Kathryn's house, do you happen to have any tools here that I could borrow?"

"Um, yes, there should be some, Edward had a whole box of woodworking tools and I think Stanak eventually put them away somewhere, just go find him and ask him after breakfast. You're welcome to borrow whatever you need, in fact, why don't you just keep them, nobody here knows how to use those antique tools anyhow."

"Oh, no, Ma'am, thank you, but I couldn't take Admiral Janeway's tools, I'll just borrow them to fix up Kathryn's house and then bring them back."

"Nonsense! They're not a bit of good here and something was always needing fixing in that old house, so they might as well be there as I have a feeling you'll eventually be living in that house too, my dear," Gretchen said as she flashed a coy smile, "And I hope you know what you'll be getting yourself into between my daughter and the house from hell!"

Chakotay grinned into his coffee, "Well, it may be the house from hell as you say, but if it goes along with the owner, I guess I'll have to take it! Thank you for the tools, that was very kind of you and I'll always treasure them knowing that they belonged to the admiral."

After breakfast Stanak found the tools and Chakotay spent the rest of the morning cleaning them up. They were fine old woodworking tools and many of them appeared to be antiques and not replicas. The admiral must have been an accomplished carpenter or at least a collector to have such a fine array of old tools. While Chakotay had found Kathryn to be a competent engineer, her knowledge of traditional carpentry was certainly not something she inherited from her father and he really couldn't imagine her trying to restore an old house on her own.

The next morning Gretchen and Chakotay beamed to Kathryn's house in San Francisco. They looked over the outside of the house and it was certainly in disrepair, but Chakotay assured her that it was nothing he couldn't handle and the yard was in sad shape, but could be cleaned up easily enough. As Gretchen punched in her security code and opened the door, a cloud of dust, a musty smell and a puddle of water on the foyer floor greeted them. She pushed aside a pile of empty boxes in the entry way and sighed, "I don't know why Katie ever bought this run down dump and look at all this mess those filthy tenants left behind!" She sidestepped the puddle and looked up, "Obviously the roof leaks now."

"Not a problem, Ma'am, I know how to fix a leaky roof." Chakotay walked through the house with her, inspecting things to see what condition they were in. The rooms were large and spacious and, if the windows were clean, the house would have been bright and airy as well. Although it took some effort, he managed to get the back door open. "There, that should air out the place and get rid of that smell. There's a lot of trash here, but nothing that can't be piled up in a container in the back yard and beamed out of here. I take it the furniture and things here aren't Kathryn's?" he enquired as he patted an old sofa upholstered in a tacky glittery green paisley fabric.

"No," Gretchen replied, "Phoebe and I packed up all her things and had a crew come and beam everything into secure storage before I rented it out and it's still there. Whatever is here can be thrown out, it's all useless junk they left behind, they owed rent and skipped out and left all this mess; never rent to Tellerites! After that debacle with the renters we closed up the house and I paid off Katie's mortgage, hired a company to cut the grass and maintain security and just forgot about this place more or less. Well, what do you think, is there hope for Katie's little old house?"

"Yes, Ma'am, it needs a lot of work to fix things up and a good cleaning, but I think I can do it as long as I can get some help, there's lots of potential in this wonderful old house. I talked to Tom and B'Elanna today and they're still living with his parents and would be more than glad to help, I think poor B'Elanna has had enough of her new in-laws and would welcome the change of scenery. She's a good engineer, so she should be a great help and they know of several other Voyager crew who would be glad to help out as well… and I have a lot of favors I can call in," he grinned.

"Well, if you think you can do it and it's not a waste of time, I'll have the utilities turned back on and set up an account for you at the hardware store down the street so you can get whatever supplies you need there. Let's not say anything to Katie for the time being, in case it turns out to be worse than you thought once you get into it, OK?"

"OK, I'd like it to be a surprise too. This is actually a very well built home, so I'm sure it will be good as new soon with some work." He rubbed the old wooden pantry closet door, "Look at this, it's real oak and I bet this is all original to the house, beautiful old wood and solid craftsmanship, just needs to be refinished. I can see why Kathryn liked the house so much, it has a certain charm to it, don't you think?"

Gretchen smiled as she opened a kitchen cabinet and the door fell off in her hands, "If you say so, Dear. Oh my, there's still food in here, why don't you look around more and make a list of what you'll need right away so I can have it delivered and I'll clean out these cabinets, put it in those boxes by the door and toss it all out back for now."

"Yes, Ma'am, but let me carry the boxes out for you."

After Chakotay made his initial shopping list and Gretchen cleaned up the kitchen a bit, they closed up the house and took a taxi to Chakotay's favorite Vulcan restaurant near Starfleet. The meal was just as good as Chakotay remembered as the same Vulcan chef was still there, seven years later. As they entered Starfleet's Medical facility Admiral Paris was there to greet them.

Gretchen hugged him as she spoke, "It's good to see you, Owen, thank you for all your help, may we go see Kathryn now?"

"It's good to see you too, Gretchen and Chakotay, somehow I knew you'd be here right on time! I'm afraid Kathryn's up in the security ward, so we'll have to wait for a guard to arrive to escort us up there, shouldn't be long, I notified them when I saw you arrive. Let's just have a seat here until they do."

"Security ward?" Gretchen asked as she sat, "That's damn ridiculous, she's a starship captain for heaven's sake, it's not like she's going to try to escape, the poor girl's so sick she couldn't if she wanted to. We brought her some things, they'll let her have them, won't they?"

He patted her hand, "Yes, Gretchen, but they'll have to search and scan them first. I'm so sorry about all this, but it's 'procedure' and there's nothing I can do to circumvent it I'm afraid."

Chakotay stood and put his hands on his hips, "I just can't believe, after what that woman went through in the last seven years to get her ship and crew back home, that Starfleet has the gall to treat her this way now!" He took a deep breath and sat back down, "Begging your pardon, Admiral, I'm just upset."

"Understandable, Commander. Please don't forget that I'm on Kathryn's side here, but like you, I have to take orders too and my hands are tied to a certain extent. As I have said from the beginning, Kathryn's situation is unique and some of the dunsels in the corner offices just don't know what to do with her, but I still firmly believe everything will work out fine for her… and you have to trust me on that. Well, here's our escort, shall we?"

The trio went to the security ward and were met by Kathryn's doctors at the desk. "Hello, I'm Doctor Pulaski and this is Counselor Ehytr, it's nice to meet you."

Gretchen shook their hands, "Hello, I'm Captain Janeway's mother Gretchen Janeway and this is her… very good friend Commander Chakotay. How is Kathryn, may we see her, please? She is awake now, isn't she?"

Dr. Pulaski motioned to a seating area adjacent to the desk, "Yes, she is awake, but I think you'd better have a seat, there's something I need to tell you about Captain Janeway."

THE BUTLER DID IT

PART TROIS

Gretchen gasped and Admiral Paris moved to take her arm, however she stood firm, not needing his help. She looked at Dr. Pulaski and drew in another breath before asking, "Alright, Doctor, what's wrong with my daughter?"

Counselor Ehytr again motioned to the seating area Dr. Pulaski had indicated, "Perhaps it would be best if we sat to discuss the captain?"

Gretchen stood defiantly, "I don't need to sit, I just want to know what's going on and to go see my daughter!"

Ehytr looked plaintively to the admiral and Chakotay before he moved towards the seating area, hoping they would follow suit and join him. Admiral Paris nodded to Chakotay, and they moved Gretchen towards the chairs as Paris asked, "If there were any changes in Captain Janeway's condition, why wasn't I informed? She is under my command and most certainly her mother and I have a right to know." As they sat he looked at the security guard, standing a few meters away and said, "Guard, you are dismissed."

The guard looked at him in confusion as she knew her orders were to remain with the visitors at all times. She opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it and said, "Yes, Sir, I shall wait by the turbolifts, Admiral."

Once the guard was out of earshot, Doctor Pulaski began, "Thank you. It really is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Janeway, I knew your husband." She smiled, hoping to establish a rapport with Gretchen and put her more at ease before she continued, "As you know, we did discontinue the sedation this morning, however Captain Janeway was quite slow to regain consciousness, due to her depleted physical condition, she is severely malnourished. She was suffering from a common stomach flu and that was easy enough to remedy, however she still showed signs of a severe viral infection unlike anything I've ever seen. I tried several anti-viral medications, to no avail, and finally contacted Voyager's EMH as I suspected it might be something she picked up in the Delta Quadrant that had remained latent until her physical condition became so compromised. I sent him my data and he concurred, apparently it is a mutation of a virus she picked up after being bitten by an insect on some planet out there about five years ago."

Chakotay interrupted her, "Yes, we were both infected, but the doctor obtained a serum from the Vidiians that cured the illness; we've both been fine ever since, Doctor."

Pulaski, slightly perturbed at being interrupted, continued, "Yes, Commander, I am aware of that, however it is apparent that the serum did not totally rid the captain's body of the virus, it merely suppressed it until conditions were favorable for it to re-emerge, apparently in a mutated form. I'd like to test you, Commander, as you may still be infected as well. If you're not, your body may have produced antibodies which we can use to develop a more effective treatment for Captain Janeway."

"Of course," Chakotay responded, "I'll do anything I can to help her, take whatever samples you need."

"Thank you," Pulaski replied, "I'll take my samples once you have visited the captain. The drugs we are giving her now are keeping the virus at bay, but so far they have not eradicated it. I pulled the EMH's remaining Vidiian serum from stasis and administered it, but the virus has mutated and it was not effective. As her physical condition improves, her body will be able to fight the virus off better as well and it is possible that in itself may drive it back into remission, however it would only be for as long as she were able to remain in good physical condition and it would render her unfit for anything but desk duty. As I said, she was severely malnourished, however she has gained a kilo since she's been here. I removed the feeding tube this morning and it will stay out as long as she will eat, however she was very reluctant to eat, even after I gave her enough appetite stimulant to get most patients to eat the proverbial horse. I think the only reason she ate anything is that I went back in with the tube and threatened to reinsert it; Captain Janeway is apparently a very stubborn woman," Pulaski said as a wry smile crept to her face.

"Humph!" Gretchen said, "It's probably just the hospital food! Let me take her home and fix her some decent food and she'll eat."

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Mrs. Janeway," replied Counselor Ehytr, "The captain is in no condition to be released. As you know, she became so distraught she collapsed during her initial session with me, however I had a chance to speak with her again this morning, and I believe she needs significant intensive in patient treatment." He addressed the admiral directly, "Sir, I did not inform you of this because I was unaware of the severity of her condition until I spoke with her at length late this morning; my initial interview was not sufficient to form a detailed diagnosis. My report will be on your desk as soon as I have had a chance to finish it, Sir."

"I see," conceded Paris, "What exactly is her condition, Counselor?"

"Captain Janeway is suffering from severe clinical depression and post traumatic stress disorder, which is quite understandable considering the ordeal of seven years in the Delta Quadrant and what has happened since her return. She is also suffering from rather severe menopausal symptoms: mood swings, disturbed sleep patterns and so on, however we can deal with that. Doctor Pulaski and I also concur that she has an eating disorder, however we are not certain if it is a symptom of the virus she contracted or not. Once she and the commander initially became ill from the virus, Voyager's EMH put them into stasis so quickly that the symptoms probably didn't have a chance to fully develop, so it may be a perfectly normal symptom of the Delta Quadrant virus… or it may not be. Since it seems the malnutrition caused the virus to re-emerge, I tend to think it is a separate problem from the virus, a life threatening problem I might add. Captain Janeway harbors a tremendous amount of guilt over the number of crewmen she lost, some decisions she made in the Delta Quadrant and also what she referred to as 'her betrayal', however she most adamantly refused to discuss that with me, whatever it is. It is my opinion that she is attempting to make amends for what she perceives as her shortcomings by starving herself, perhaps to the point of suicide."

"That's ridiculous!" Gretchen retorted. "Katie has always been thin and they often had to ration food or eat whatever they could find out in the Delta Quadrant, she just got used to eating less after so many years, that's all."

Dr. Pulaski looked at Ehytr, shook her head and leaned towards Gretchen, "That may very well be, Mrs. Janeway, but she has had access to plenty of nutritious food since her return, has she not?" Gretchen lowered her eyes and nodded. "Captain Janeway's records indicate that she weighed 50 kilos when she returned to Earth, thin but acceptable, yet her weight when she was admitted here was just under 42 kilos. That is a very significant weight loss for such a short period of time, Ma'am. According to her, she only began to vomit from the virus a few days before she came here. She has gained almost a full kilo since we inserted the feeding tube and all tests indicate that her body metabolizes food normally and she has no food allergies, so the only logical conclusions are that she has either chosen not to eat or induces vomiting after she does eat. Are you aware of her vomiting prior to several days before she was admitted?"

Gretchen thought for a moment. "No, but she was so depressed she kept to herself in her room up until the last few days, so I suppose it's possible, but I just can't believe she would do that."

"Neither can I," Chakotay added. "I was having breakfast with her a few days ago and she suddenly became ill and vomited, she was eating when it happened and I can most certainly say she did nothing to cause it. She told me the vomiting had only been going on for three days and I have no reason to believe that she was lying about that. It's true she hasn't been eating much, but she has been upset about being under house arrest, her uncertain future… and some personal problems and she was queasy from the stomach virus. As for her feeling guilty, what captain who has lost so many of his or her crew and has had to endure the stress of essentially been on duty for seven years straight wouldn't?"

"The guilt is normal," Ehytr replied, "But the way she is dealing with it is not." He made eye contact with everyone before going on, "So, once Dr. Pulaski has released her, I am sending Captain Janeway to the Starfleet psychiatric facility as they can give her the treatment she needs."

"You'll do no such thing!" Gretchen shouted. "Just send her home, we can take better care of her there. I'll see that she comes in for counseling sessions as often as you require and that she eats nutritious meals."

"Gretchen," Admiral Paris said as he took her hands, "I know you're her mother and you love her, but Katie needs more care than you can give her right now. I think what the counselor is suggesting is what's best. You want her to get well, don't you?"

Gretchen pushed his hands away and stood. "Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, Owen, she's my daughter and I know what's best for her… and that would be to be back at home with the people who love her." She looked to Owen for confirmation, but got none, so she looked to Chakotay. "Isn't that right?"

Chakotay stood, put his arm around her and took her aside. "Gretchen, I want Kathryn to come home as soon as possible as much as you do, but I think they're right and she needs more care than we can give her. Quite honestly I think they're wrong about her too, but… what if they're not?"

She thought for a moment and took a deep breath, "I see your point, Chakotay." She walked back to the lounge and joined the others. "Very well, I still think you're wrong, but I know there's nothing I can do about it, is there? May we please see her now?"

Pulaski stood, "Yes, of course, however I must ask you to say nothing to her about being transferred to the psychiatric facility as that may upset her and the most important things right now are that she remains calm and eats. Assuming she continues to eat and improve, we'll beam her out on Monday. Mrs. Janeway, I'm hoping that your visit will be just the thing to get her to eat and I'll have a tray brought in. What would you suggest, on the bland side, that she might like?"

"Well, she loves scrambled eggs, but they have to be runny or she won't eat them, and she likes oatmeal with cinnamon, raisins and brown sugar."

"And coffee flavored yogurt," Chakotay added.

"Ew!" Pulaski exclaimed as she curled her lip. "Very well, I'll have that brought in and see what you can do about getting her to eat it. She's down that corridor in the last room on the left. I'll just let you alone with her as it seems she isn't too fond of me."

"Wonder why!" exclaimed Gretchen as soon as the doctors were out of earshot, "Crusty old curmudgeon, isn't she?"

"Now now!" Admiral Paris admonished, "I hand picked her to look after Kathryn, she spent years in space, even served a tour of duty aboard Picard's Enterprise, so she knows what it's like to be out in deep space and what a dedicated captain goes through. What she lacks in personality, she more than makes up for in expertise and experience, she's a damn good doctor, Gretchen. Kathryn has a good counselor too, Ehytr has plenty of experience with officers who've had a rough time out there and I trust him." Owen stopped walking just before they got close to Kathryn's door. "Gretchen, Chakotay, this may be a blessing in disguise as it will put a halt to the proceedings against Kathryn for the time being and give us more time, something we desperately need to prepare her defense now that she's willing to cooperate. I've thrown in every hyper spanner I can thus far, but some of the brass have been rushing things along as fast as possible in hopes that we won't be fully prepared and this will put a stop to that."

"Small blessing," Gretchen conceded. "Owen, where is Starfleet's psychiatric facility? We will be able to visit here there, won't we?"

"It's in Colorado, not too far from the high altitude training center. Visits are handled on a case by case basis as I recall, so we'll have to see what they say. Gretchen, the betrayal thing that Ehytr spoke of, do you have any idea what he was talking about? It's not a security issue that I should be aware of, is it?"

"No!" Gretchen replied sternly, "It was a personal matter and it has been resolved. We brought Kathryn some things and the guard took them, do you have any idea what happened to them? I insist that she have her things, she'll be much more comfortable."

"I'll go look into it and I'll check my messages too so you and Chakotay can have some time alone with her and I'll be back in awhile, OK?"

"Yes, Owen, thank you."

Gretchen and Chakotay held hands as they entered Kathryn's room, not knowing what to expect as very little they had been told made any sense. Kathryn was lying on her side with her back to them, but as soon as she heard the door hiss open she rolled over to face them.

"Mom, Chakotay!" she exclaimed as she stretched out her arms to them. They ran to her and hugged her, however she was so weak she couldn't sit up in the bed and had a faraway look to her eyes. They raised the bed, helped her into a sitting position and propped her up with pillows. Kathryn smiled faintly, "Are you here to take me home? I don't know where they put my clothes, please find them and help me to get dressed."

Gretchen smiled as she sat on the side of the bed and took Kathryn's hand, "Katie, Honey, you can't go home just yet, you're still not well enough."

Chakotay sat on the other side of the bed and took her other hand, "Hello, Kathryn, how are you feeling? You look much better!" He was lying, but knew it was what she needed to hear.

"I feel fine, I'm just tired, I don't know why I'm even here. Please get me out of here, I want to go home."

Kathryn was interrupted by the arrival of a corpsman with a tray of food and the bag of things they had bought her. Gretchen took the tray and Chakotay took the bag. Kathryn reached towards the bag, "What's that, is it my uniform? Chakotay, please help me to get dressed so we can leave."

Gretchen sat the food on a small table and pushed it over the bed. "We brought you some things, Katie, nightgowns, your toiletries and your books and PADDs. Here, Sweetheart, they brought you some food, so please eat something and then we'll help you to get a gown on and I'll do your hair for you."

Kathryn pushed the tray away, "I'm not hungry."

Her mother stroked her hair as she spoke, "Katie, you have to eat to get better, they won't let you go home until you're eating like you should and have gained some weight. Here, let's see what they brought you," she said as she removed the cover from the plate.

Kathryn looked at the plate and turned her head away, "That looks awful, Mom, I couldn't possibly eat it. I'm really not hungry, that bitch of a doctor just made me eat, I'm full and I had a huge dinner last night too."

Gretchen looked at Chakotay and bit her lip as she knew Kathryn was sedated last night and didn't have dinner, however she was unsure whether Kathryn was merely confused or lying. Gretchen inspected the plate of food closely. "You're right, Katie, these eggs are overcooked and this toast is much darker than you like it. I'll go get you another plate and make sure they get it right this time. Look, there's coffee yogurt, why don't you eat that and talk to Chakotay and I'll be right back?"

Chakotay took the cover off the yogurt and handed it to Kathryn with a spoon. "Here, Kathryn, eat a little of this."

She put the spoon into the yogurt, stirred it around and held it out towards Chakotay. "I'm not hungry, Chakotay, you eat it."

He smiled at her and took the yogurt from her. "Thanks, but I took your mother to that Vulcan restaurant across from the academy and we had a big lunch right before we got here and, besides, you know I hate coffee yogurt. You, on the other hand, love coffee yogurt, so won't you please eat some of it? Kathryn, they're not going to let you out of here until you start eating right, so please, won't you just eat a few bites?" She just looked at him with a blank stare. "I'll make you a deal, I brought you a present and I'll give it to you if you eat the yogurt, deal?" He took the small package out of his pocket, waved it in front of her and placed it on the table. She reached for it, but he grabbed it and handed her the yogurt instead. "Nope, not until you eat the yogurt, Kathryn!"

Kathryn reluctantly slipped a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth and swallowed it. "It's good," she said as she took another spoonful.

"That's better," Chakotay said as he put the box back on the table and kissed Kathryn on the cheek. "I love you, Kathryn, and I miss you. I want you to get well so you can come home as soon as possible." He grabbed the bag they had brought and started taking things out. "T'Ana and your mother packed some things for you, here's some nightgowns, your PADDs and some books, your robe and slippers, um… your make up and girl stuff and your hairbrush. May I brush your hair for you?" She nodded so he began slowly running the brush through her hair. "I love your hair, Kathryn, I've always dreamed of being able to brush it. You are going to let it grow long again, aren't you?"

She swallowed another spoonful of yogurt and wiped her lips with a napkin. "I haven't decided, I thought you said it looked cute when I cut it?"

He tweaked his earlobe and grinned, "I was lying."

"I know you were," she replied as she picked up the yogurt and started eating again. "You're not a very good liar, Chakotay! I didn't mean to cut it so short, I was just going to trim a little off, but I didn't do a very good job and it was uneven, so I kept cutting to even it out and, next thing I knew, it was above my shoulders. I was going to let it grow back, but I found it was much faster and easier to take care of short, so I just conceded to practicality and conserving resources and kept it that way. Now that I don't have to decide between using replicator rations for coffee or hairpins, maybe I'll let it grow. There, I finished the yogurt, do I get to open my present now?"

Chakotay put down the hairbrush and handed her the package, "A deal's a deal, I hope you like it." Kathryn smiled and tore into the wrapping as Chakotay stroked her hair and said, "You're like a little kid on Christmas morning with presents, but that's good because you like opening them and I like giving them to you! We make a good team, don't we, Kathryn?"

"We certainly do!" she replied as she excitedly pulled the tissue from the box and extracted the necklace. She held it in her palm and giggled, "It's a tomato! Oh, Chakotay, it's so cute, it's the perfect thing! Please, will you put it on for me?"

He fastened the necklace around her neck and then kissed the nape. "I'm glad you like it, Kathryn, I hope we can grow more than tomatoes together some day."

She giggled as she held the charm and examined it again, "Yes, maybe some potatoes, beans and yellow squash, oh I just love yellow squash!"

He clasped her hands, and looked into her eyes, "No, Kathryn, that's not what I meant. We can plant whatever you like, but what I meant to say is that I hope we can grow… old together."

She nuzzled his hands and kissed them, "So do I, Chakotay, so do I."

"Oh, aren't you two cute!" exclaimed Gretchen as she entered with a new plate of food. "Here, Katie, that dunderhead corpsman probably couldn't boil water, so she finally let me program the replicator myself and these eggs and toast are just the way you like them, so eat them before they get cold."

Kathryn leaned forward as her mother adjusted the pillows behind her. "OK, Mom, I'll try, but Chakotay just made me eat all the yogurt before he'd give me my present." She smirked at him and held the tiny tomato up so Gretchen could see it.

Gretchen sat on the bed, inspected the tomato closely and smiled at Chakotay. "Oh, so that's what you were being so secretive about? He told me he got you a gift, but he wouldn't let me see it or even tell me what it was, drove me crazy!" She leaned into Kathryn and whispered, "We'll have to be careful, Katie, he knows how to get to a Janeway woman! It's adorable and the perfect thing for my little red headed tomato," Gretchen said as she kissed Kathryn on the top of her head. "OK, eat up, Sweetheart!"

Kathryn ate slowly and finished most of her eggs and half a piece of toast, but she swore she was full and only ate a spoon or two of oatmeal. Considering how little she had been eating in the past weeks, she probably was telling the truth. Gretchen held up the nightgowns and let Kathryn pick one. As Gretchen undid the back of Kathryn's hospital gown and began to slip it off her shoulders, Chakotay got up, picked up her tray and headed for the door as Gretchen asked, "Where are you going, Chakotay, Katie can't stand yet, I need help to get her changed- nothing you haven't seen before, Dearie."

He kept his back to them as he replied, "Actually, it is." He paused and then went on, with a mischievous tone to his voice, "You're not the only ones that like to open presents and be surprised, so I'll go get a nurse to help you and wait in the corridor."

As the door slid shut, Gretchen patted Kathryn on the hand and said, "Do you mean to tell me that he's never seen you, that the two of you still have never… done anything?"

Kathryn blushed as she held her mother's hand. "No, Mom, we've only kissed, that's all. I don't really trust myself to make decisions about any changes in my life right now, so I asked him to wait and he said he understood and thought it was the best thing to do too."

"That one's a keeper, my dear!"

"Yes, he is, Mom. Even after the way I treated him and what… what I did to him, he still loves me and I know how lucky I am. Trust me, I'm going to cooperate and try to do whatever they tell me to get better."

"I trust you, Katie." Gretchen giggled and pinched Kathryn's arm, "You'll have to get better and put some meat on those bones so Chakotay likes what he sees when he finally gets to open his present! Oh, Hello," Gretchen greeted as the nurse entered. "Now, let's get you cleaned up and into one of your own pretty nightgowns, you'll feel much better."

The nurse was experienced in how to change the clothing of a bedridden patient and had Kathryn out of her hospital gown in no time and went to get a basin of water for a sponge bath. As Gretchen saw her daughter's body, she gasped. "Kathryn, I had no idea you were this thin, how could I not have known and why didn't Nana say something to me? Oh Katie!" Gretchen sobbed as she leaned down and hugged her daughter.

"Don't cry, Mom, I'm going to be OK. I know I'm too thin and I'll eat, I promise. Don't blame Nana, I was careful to never let her see me, so she didn't know, and I wore baggy clothes so nobody could tell."

Gretchen and the nurse got Kathryn into her gown and propped back up comfortably in bed. Admiral Paris returned, came in with Chakotay when the nurse left and the three visited Kathryn for awhile longer before it was obvious she was tired and having trouble keeping her eyes open. They left her, promising to be back for lunch the next day.

As they walked down the hall, Gretchen stopped Owen and turned to face him. "I'm sorry if I was short with you, Owen, Katie is much worse off than I thought. The doctors were right, she does belong here. I honestly had no idea she was in such bad shape, apparently she's better at keeping secrets than I thought."

"Don't worry about it, Gretchen, I met with her several times over the past couple of weeks and I didn't know either. I thought she looked ragged, but that was certainly understandable given the situation. I'll find out what time she'll be having breakfast and stop by and make sure she doesn't give them any flack about eating, she obeys my orders… well, most of the time! I've known Katie her whole life, she a lot more to me than just one of my officers, I think of her as a daughter too you know."

"Thank you, Owen," Gretchen said as she gave him a hug and they said goodbye. "Well, Chakotay, lets go find that doctor so that she can take whatever samples she needs and I suppose I owe her an apology too. I want to stop by this shop I know before we beam home, Katie said she wished she had some of that Vulcan skin cream she likes because her skin's so dry now and I know they sell it there and it can be hard to find in Bloomington."

"What kind of cream is it?"

"Oh, I don't know what it's called, but it comes in a pretty purple jar, I'll know it when I see it."

"Well, I'll have to find out what it is and remember the name. When I was in Kathryn's room the other day I realized there's so much I still don't know about her, all the little things like what kind of skin cream she likes, her favorite perfume and what size she wears of everything. I should know those things!"

Gretchen laughed, "Chakotay, Dearie, you have the rest of your lives to find out those things about each other. Kathryn's father and I were very happy in the almost thirty years we had together and I can tell you that it's not knowing every little thing about a person that's the most fun, it's learning all those little things! You and Katie take your time with each other, there's no rush."

Chakotay thought for a moment and smiled, "You know, I think you're right. Well, I learned today that Kathryn said she loves yellow squash, so I'll suggest to the doctor that they bring her some. Oh, she said she wanted some of those fuzzy little things she puts her hair up with and some warm socks and…" He pulled out his PADD and checked it. "Oh yeah, she wants some dental floss, the minty kind that doesn't break, the PADD in her nightstand with pictures on it, some classical music and some lip balm, but not the Starfleet stuff, it tastes gross."

Gretchen looked at the PADD and giggled, "You took notes?"

Chakotay shrugged his shoulders and grinned, "Starfleet habit. I used to work for this captain who was a real stickler for detail and I found the only way I could keep up with her was to take notes."

"I see! That captain sounds like a real tyrant, she wouldn't happen to be short, have chestnut hair, a coffee addiction, and a tomato around her neck would she?"

Chakotay offered Gretchen his arm as they headed towards the lab, "As a matter of fact, she does!"

When they returned home, Gretchen gathered the staff in her study and explained Kathryn's situation to them. It was evident they were as concerned about her and as much a part of the family as anyone named Janeway. Gretchen stayed in the study to contact various family members about Kathryn while Chakotay went to her room to gather and pack the things she had asked for.

He located the PADD she wanted easily and only had to open a couple drawers before he found the one with her socks in it. Her socks were arranged by color and lined up like a cadet review at the academy. He smiled as he remembered when she'd asked him to bring her some socks when she was in sickbay back on Voyager and he discovered that her sock drawer looked like a nest of snakes and it took him ten minutes just to find two that matched; obviously T'Ana was the one who kept Kathryn's drawers in such perfect order. Kathryn was meticulous about the way she ran her ship, but she rarely had time to maintain the same order with insignificant and unseen little things like her sock drawer.

Her music collection was also reasonably ordered and it didn't take Chakotay long to pick out what he knew she would like, he certainly knew and shared her taste in music. Next he went to the bathroom in search of dental floss and found that in the cabinet above the sink, the minty kind that doesn't break. He took out her toothbrush and smiled, Starfleet gray standard replicator issue and about as dog eared and ratty as a toothbrush could get; it was obviously the one she had brought back from Voyager. There was a brand new toothbrush, still in it's container, lying behind it, so she had obviously chosen to keep using her old one, but Chakotay couldn't decide if it was some silly sentimental attachment to it or merely that the rationing on Voyager had accustomed them all to making everything last as long as possible. He opened her make up drawer and found a tube of lip balm there and placed that into the bag.

The fuzzy little hair doo dads were next, however he couldn't find them anywhere. After searching through all the drawers in Kathryn's dressing table, he finally gave up and went downstairs to ask Gretchen. She was stretched out on the sofa in the study, sound asleep, so he quietly left and shut the door behind him. He went to the kitchen to find T'Ana as she no doubt knew where Kathryn kept them, however the kitchen was occupied by only Komn, with an apron over his ever-present tuxedo, sitting at the table meticulously polishing an array of silver candlesticks. Komn stood and bowed deeply, "A votre service, Monsieur!"

"Uh, hello, Komn, do you know where T'Ana is?"

"Mademoiselle T'Ana fait le menage, Monsieur."

"What?"

"Le menage," Komn said as he made a gesture that looked like a cross between hailing a cab and shoveling dirt.

Realizing that T'Ana was probably neither hailing a cab nor digging a hole, Chakotay changed his tack and asked, "Komn, I need T'Ana, where is she now? Do you understand? What's Nana doing?"

"Ah, yes, Monsieur Chakotay, bien sur!" Komn exclaimed as he quickly toddled to the replicator, returned, bowed and presented Chakotay with a plate of sausages. "Votre andouille, Monsieur!"

"Uh, thanks… merci," Chakotay said as he took the plate, shook his head and went back upstairs to search for the elusive fuzzy little hair things again. Since he'd already searched her dressing table thoroughly, he decided to try the bathroom this time, however his search turned up nothing even close, so he gave up and started rummaging through her desk on the off chance she kept them in there or he could at least find some rubber bands.

"There you are! What are you looking for?" asked Gretchen as she picked up a PADD he had knocked off the desk.

"Kathryn said she wanted some of those fuzzy little elastic things, whatever they're called, to put her hair up with and I've looked everywhere. I found everything else she wanted, but I can't find them, do you know where they are?"

"Of course!" Gretchen replied as she went into Kathryn's bathroom and emerged with a fist full of them and placed them into the bag on the bed. "Um, Chakotay, is there any particular reason why there's a plate of sausages sitting on the sink in Katie's bathroom?"

He looked down and grinned, "Language barrier, Ma'am, I asked Komn where T'Ana was and somehow got sausages instead. Where were they, I looked everywhere!"

"She keeps them in an empty powder box on the shelf. It's almost time for tea, would you like to join me?"

"Yes, thank you, and maybe you could explain to me how I managed to cause Komn to confuse the housekeeper with a plate of sausages!"

Gretchen shook her head and laughed, "I wish I could, Chakotay, but Komn's brain works in mysterious ways!"

The next day they visited Kathryn for lunch and found her to be about the same and still reluctant to eat. Dr. Pulaski was not terribly encouraged, but said it was not that usual for a patient to have difficulty getting back to eating solid food again and, despite her appearance, she was actually a little better and would still be transferred the next day, after lunch. It was decided that it would be best if Gretchen and Chakotay were with her when Counselor Ehytr came to tell her she was being transferred the psychiatric unit.

Gretchen left to go make calls to arrange for someone to teach her classes the next day, so that she could be there when Kathryn was transferred. Chakotay sat with Kathryn and tried to get her to eat. "Kathryn, if you don't like this, I'll go get you whatever you want."

"No, Chakotay, this is fine, I'm just not very hungry, I think it's the medication they're giving me. Owen came by this morning and he actually ordered me to eat and then sat here and watched me do it. I know his heart is in the right place, but I was just so furious that he would actually do that and treat me like a child! Oh well, I had better get used to taking orders, if I don't get myself together and start working on my defense for my disciplinary hearing, I'll probably end up taking orders from you!"

Chakotay smiled and handed her a roll, "Well then, you'll just have to get better and snap to it, because you know I can be a real hard ass. Janeway, clean the exhaust manifolds and be quick about it and, when you're done, recalibrate the sensors, repaint the hull and then report to my quarters on the double, fix me dinner and then draw me a bath and get in the tub with me and scrub my back…" Chakotay trailed off into a fit of giggles as he hugged Kathryn and kissed her on the cheek.

Kathryn took a bite from the roll and washed it down with a sip of tea. "Eech! This tea makes me miss leola roots, they won't let me have any coffee, it's no wonder I'm sick!" She sat her mug down and grinned at Chakotay, "I suppose I could take orders from you if I had to, but if you think I'm going to be at your beck and call off duty, think again Chakotay! It's you who will be making me dinner, fetching my slippers, peeling grapes and waiting on me hand and foot, my dear!"

He pulled off a piece of roll and shoved it in her mouth, "Is that so? Well, where I come from it's traditionally the woman who waits on the man, you know!"

"Humph!" she tossed her nose in the air. "Well, Chakotay, where I come from little blue butlers do that, so I suppose you'll just have to get me a butler! I wonder if Komn has a brother?"

Chakotay jumped up and straightened the bedcovers, "Let's not get hasty, Kathryn, I'm sure we can work something out!"

Gretchen entered and kissed Kathryn on top of her head, "Katie, I expected more of that food to be gone when I got back!" She gave Chakotay a stern look, so he sat on the bed and shoved a spoonful of tapioca pudding at Kathryn, realizing he had been negligent in his duties as her eating coach.

"Umph! Chakotay, you're going to kill me, I can't swallow that much at one time!" He nudged her lips with the spoon, however she managed to dodge it. "Mom, does Komn have a brother?"

"He has four of them and three sisters, but I think they're all still back in France, why?"

She smiled at Chakotay, "Oh, nothing, Mom, I was just curious." Her smile got broader, "It's good to know there's plenty more like him where he came from!"

The next morning Chakotay and Gretchen arrived at 11:00 for a scheduled meeting with Kathryn's doctors and Admiral Paris. Doctor Pulaski reported Kathryn was stronger and able to get out of bed and walk short distances and in much better spirits, however she was still reluctant to eat much and not gaining weight as they had hoped. She consistently complained that she was not hungry, however there was no medical explanation for her lack of appetite.

The samples taken from Chakotay two days ago definitely showed that he was no longer infected with the virus, however it was still not known if he possessed antibodies that could be used to develop a vaccine. Since no such vaccine for the mutated form of the virus existed, it could not be replicated and would have to be developed naturally, which would be a lengthy process due to the unusual and unpredictable nature of the Delta Quadrant virus. The virus within Kathryn could be managed, but not completely eradicated unless an effective vaccine could be developed. Although she didn't have complete faith in Voyager's EMH as he was a "holographic contraption" as she called him, Dr. Pulaski would be in consultation with him as work on a possible vaccine progressed. Chakotay was glad for this and understood Pulaski's reluctance, as he had initially had the same reaction to the EMH, but he now had complete faith in him as an extraordinary physician and regarded him as any of his other flesh and blood friends.

Counselor Ehytr reported that he had had a pleasant but not terribly productive session with Kathryn that morning as he felt she was being honest with him, but would only open up to him on a very superficial level.

"That's understandable, " Chakotay replied, "Kathryn can be very cautious initially and she's a very private person, you have to be patient to earn her confidence and trust. She's not unreasonable, just careful. She's also very intelligent, so if you think you can trick her or outsmart her with some psychiatric mumbo jumbo, think again, Counselor."

"Indeed," Ehytr replied as he nodded his head, "You're very astute, Commander, as I concur completely with your assessment of the captain. I will be beaming out to Colorado to meet with her three times a week, however I have chosen Counselor Symot to be her primary counselor there. He is Vulcan and Captain Janeway has spoken of her trust in Commander Tuvok for many years, so I think they may be able to establish a productive rapport. He is also Starfleet's expert in eating disorders, so I hope he will be able to make progress in that area of her treatment as well. She will also be attending daily group sessions designed to help officers who are having difficulty dealing with repressed guilt or grief resulting from command decisions. Please rest assured that Captain Janeway will be getting the best of care and treatment at the center.

"Thank you, Counselor," Gretchen replied, "Does Kathryn know she's being transferred yet and will we be able to visit her and talk to her on the com link?"

Ehytr leaned towards her, "No, Ma'am, she doesn't know yet, I thought it best to tell her after she's had lunch and you've had a chance to visit with her. She's scheduled to be beamed out at 1300 hours. It's up to the staff there if she is allowed visitors and what sort of access to communications, however generally it's allowed, but you probably won't be able to visit her for a week or so."

"A week!" Gretchen exclaimed as she looked at Paris and Chakotay, "That's an awfully long time, Counselor! Do you have any idea how long she'll be there?"

"I can't give you a specific answer as each patient responds differently, however I would say to expect a minimum of four to six weeks. Once the staff there has had the opportunity to fully evaluate her, I should be able to give you a better idea. I'm not trying to keep anything from you, I just can't answer your question better than that right now. Captain Janeway has consented to allow me to fully discuss her treatment with you and the commander, so either Counselor Symot or I will contact you as soon as we can give you more information, Ma'am. If you have no more questions, I'm sure you'd like to visit with her now."

They thanked the doctors, went to Kathryn's room and were pleased to find her sitting in a chair by the window reading a book. She did seem to be in good spirits and was delighted with the flowers that Stanak had sent her from the gardens at home along with a card signed by the entire staff. Admiral Paris visited briefly, but had to depart for a lunch meeting, so he gave her a hug and left her in the company of Chakotay and her mother.

A nurse entered and began scanning Kathryn with her tricorder. "Captain Janeway, if you're feeling up to it, Dr. Pulaski has arranged for you to have lunch with your visitors in the dayroom down the corridor, Ma'am. Do you want to walk or would you prefer that I go get a hover chair for you?"

"I can walk, Lieutenant, and I have plenty of help here if I need it."

Chakotay and Gretchen each took an arm and slowly escorted Kathryn to the dayroom. She chatted excitedly about being able to go home soon now that she was up and about. Gretchen gave Chakotay a plaintive look behind Kathryn's back, however he smiled to try to reassure her. They got Kathryn seated and the corpsman brought them lunch trays and reminded them not to share food with Kathryn as her dietary intake was being monitored.

Kathryn huffed and lifted the cover from her tray, "Let's see what kind of toxic waste Starfleet has decided to dump on my tray this afternoon! I never thought I'd say this and I'll probably get committed for saying it, but this place actually makes me miss Neelix's cooking!"

"Now now, Kathryn," Chakotay chided, "This looks pretty good! You have a tossed salad, vegetable noodle soup, an egg salad sandwich, milk, grapes and chocolate pudding for dessert. You like all of those things, so eat up, Kathryn!"

Kathryn took three bites of her sandwich and sipped a few spoonfuls of the broth of her soup before she picked a piece of lettuce from her salad and started to examine it as if it were some sort of curious creature.

"You want a tricorder to analyze that?" her mother asked. "It's lettuce, don't play with your food, Katie!" Gretchen caught herself and grinned, "I'm your mother, I get to say that, even at your age. C'mon and eat your soup before it gets cold, it's really very good. T'Ana made spinach and ricotta lasagna for dinner last night, it was absolutely delicious, I should have thought to ask if I could have brought you a slice."

Chakotay handed Kathryn her sandwich, picked up her cluster of grapes and flashed his dimples at her, "Would you like me to peel the grapes for you, Kathryn?"

She smiled back and took a bite of her sandwich, "Of course, if you want to hang around me you'd better learn your place right now, Chakotay and that's Lady Janeway to you!"

Gretchen gave Kathryn a horrified look at such a remark, but Chakotay patted her hand and replied, "Inside joke, Ma'am," as he gave Kathryn a peck on the cheek and fed her a grape.

"Well, if it gets her to eat, fine! Katie, try the pudding, it's delicious! Chakotay, aren't you going to eat your pudding?"

"He doesn't like pudding, Mom, he thinks it's slimy!" Kathryn gave Chakotay a wicked grin, "I'll eat my pudding if you eat yours, Chakotay!"

He took a spoonful, winced and swallowed it as if it were live eels, "Deal!"

She ate a spoonful of pudding and smiled triumphantly, "Now I know you really love me."

He gagged down another spoonful and replied, "You'd better, Kathryn!"

Kathryn did a half decent job with her lunch, but seemed relieved when the corpsman cleared her tray and brought them mugs of tea. They adjourned to a sofa and armchairs in the lounge and chatted for awhile until they were interrupted by the arrival of Dr. Pulaski and Counselor Ehytr. Kathryn did not take the news of being transferred to the psychiatric facility well and only the doctor's suggestion of a sedative got her to settle down as her mother and Chakotay rubbed her back. She ultimately agreed that it would be for the best and managed a smile as they helped her back to her room to gather her things.

As the corpsman removed her bags, Ehytr stepped into the room and said, "Captain, I will be visiting with you on Wednesday to see how you're doing and of course you may contact me or Dr. Pulaski at any time if you need to. Corpsman Nyasta will transport with you and help you to get settled, she's waiting with your things in the corridor. I'll give you a few minutes of privacy with your family to say goodbye, Ma'am."

"Thank you, Counselor, I'll see you on Wednesday." When he left Kathryn embraced Chakotay and her mother, then the three of them joined hands. "You know I don't like saying goodbye, so I'm not going to. I know you two will take good care of each other so I won't worry about you and don't you go worrying about me, I'll be fine. I had a suspicion I might end up out there, I was just hoping it wasn't true."

Gretchen gave her daughter another hug and a kiss and went over to the window to retrieve Kathryn's flowers and stood with her back to Kathryn and Chakotay to give them a little privacy. Kathryn put her arms around Chakotay and hugged him tightly as she whispered into his ear, "Take good care of Mom, Chakotay, and give me a kiss and let me get out of here before I start crying again, I don't want to upset Mom."

He kissed her on the lips and said, "I won't say goodbye either, just that I love you and I'll send you messages every day and I can't wait for you to get back home, so you had better get well really really fast! Don't worry about your mother, I'll take good care of her, I have a lot of experience looking after Janeway women." He gave her another kiss and held his arm out for her, but she refused to take it and just smiled at him.

"Chakotay, do you think you could kiss me like you did in your closet the other day?"

"Are you sure, Kathryn?"

"Umm humm…" she replied as her lips melted into his.

They escorted Kathryn to the corridor and she stood beside the corpsman as Gretchen handed her the vase of flowers and she cradled it in her left arm. As the corpsman requested the transport Kathryn wiped away a tear, waved and shimmered away saying, "Don't forget to water the tomatoes!"

That evening, over a light early supper on the veranda, Gretchen looked up and asked, "So, Chakotay, what are your plans for this evening? I have a meeting at the university with one of my students to go over her dissertation research, you're welcome to come along if you'd like, particularly if you're interested in the subjective development of pre Organian non-aligned analytical calculus."

Chakotay looked down and grinned, "Thanks, hard to refuse an offer like that, but I think I'd rather stay here, I want to call Tom and B'Elanna and see how their weekend trip to Risa went and to see when we can get together to go look at Kathryn's house and come up with a plan of attack. I think it would be best to clear out all the trash first and then we can dig into the mechanics of the house and see what needs fixing and I'll patch up the roof right away so that more damage doesn't get done. I have some people lined up to help, so once we know what needs to be done, I can set up some sort of schedule. I also thought I might find Komn this evening and give him another chance to beat me senseless at the pool table. He's good, if I practice with him, maybe I'll get better and can finally beat Kathryn at eight ball one day!"

Gretchen looked up from her dinner and laughed, "Komn is merciless with a pool cue, but today is his day off, so he's not here. Komn is very religious and he leads some sort of Bolian temple up in Indianapolis on Mondays, that's their religion's holy day. Their traditional beliefs are really quite fascinating, you should ask him to explain them to you if you're not familiar with them."

"Well, I don't know a thing about traditional Bolian beliefs, but I'm afraid if I asked I might end up with another plate of sausages… or worse! Maybe I'll get that French book out Kathryn gave me and see what I can do about learning a little more this evening. More wine?"

"Please," Gretchen replied as she held up her glass. "I should have insisted that Komn learn to speak English fluently, but Edward always said it would be good for the girls to learn French, so I never did and it seems he has no talent as a linguist and has never picked up much. If you'd like, I believe there's a French tutorial program on the computer in my study, feel free to use it. Komn taught Katie and Phoebe French, they can read and write it as well, so I'm sure he'd be glad to teach you, he's really quite well educated, you know, but please don't feel that you have to learn French if you don't want to, Chakotay. We enjoy it here, but it's really quite useless nowadays I'm afraid."

"No, actually I would like to learn some, although I don't know how well I'll do as I'm not much of a linguist either, but, if it's any consolation, I was pretty good at math!"

"I figured you were, you have a logical mind, you're very organized, analytical and systematic. If you'll excuse me, I have to get going, I want to stop by the bookstore and get Katie something to read before my meeting." Gretchen turned back to the table and said with a smile, "Oh, Chakotay, don't forget to water the tomatoes!"

"I already did!"

When Gretchen returned home that evening she found Chakotay sitting on the veranda making a list of supplies to order for Kathryn's house and they hurried to the com link to see if there was a message from Kathryn.

Gretchen's hands fumbled with the keys, "Oh, I'm so nervous, I hope she's OK and there's a message from her. Yes! Oh yes, here it is, but it's a text only message." Gretchen began to read the message aloud: " 'Dearest Mom and Chakotay, This will be short as there's several people waiting to use the com link, they don't have them in the rooms here, we have to share the one in the lounge. I'm fine, I got settled into my room and took a nap as I was pretty tired. I cried myself to sleep, upset about being sent here and missing you both so much, but I'm OK with it now and have accepted that this is where I need to be. I have a roommate, I thought a captain would rate a private room, but apparently not. My counselor's name is Symot and I'm not too fond of him so far, but I like him better than Ehytr anyhow. I was told that I can have visitors this Sunday if I'm a good girl and behave myself, so I'll do my best and see you then and I hope Phoebe can come too. I had better get off and let the others have their turn- rank hath no privileges around here. I love you both so much, I can close my eyes and see you waiting for me. Love, Kathryn' " Gretchen sat back in her chair and relaxed. "Well, it at least sounds encouraging, although it sounds a lot like the letters they'd force Katie to write home from little pioneers summer camp when she was a child."

Chakotay gave Gretchen a pat on the back, "Well, let's hope she likes it better than summer camp! How about I get us some tea and then we can write her a letter?"

"Alright, Chakotay, I'll go upstairs and grab a few things she probably needs and the books I got her today and we'll make up a package and beam it to her so she gets it first thing in the morning. I know, let's write her a real old fashioned letter on paper, she'll get a kick out of that!" Gretchen punched up a display on her computer, "I thought I'd redecorate Katie's room while she's gone to surprise her, it's still the same as it was when she left and those drapes are getting a bit ragged now and she never liked the bedspread print that well anyhow. Look at this and tell me what colors you think she'd like… and don't say beige because I refuse to do her room in such a boring dreary color, I want something bright and cheerful!"

Chakotay looked over the colors and pointed to one, "Well, this tomato red certainly is bright and cheerful!"

"Oh my! Do you really think she'd like that?"

Chakotay grinned, "No, I was just kidding! I don't really know what she'd like, her quarters on Voyager were done in a sort of silvery gray and aqua, but she always said she hated that and thought that Starfleet must have hired Ferengi to pick out the color schemes on starships, especially the ones where everything is mauve and plum or whatever you call it- purple and pink by any other name! I'm sure you'd have a much better idea than I would, I'm afraid I don't know much about decorating."

"Well, gray, aqua and beige are out and peach is out because that's what it is now and pink would be too close to peach. I know she's not that fond of yellow and Phoebe's room is done in yellows, how about blue? I've noticed you wear a lot of blue, so you must be fond of it."

"Yes, it's my favorite color, but it's Kathryn's room so it should be what she likes, but I remember back on New Earth she had this nightgown she wore all the time that was sort of a dusky blue, like that color there, and she said she really liked that color because it reminded her of the color of the sky at home just before dawn."

"Oh, Chakotay, I really like that color, it's very soothing and it would look lovely with her antique mahogany furniture and we could even use a few beige accents to make her happy! Let me get the things packed up for her and we'll pick out some fabrics and carpets and all while we have tea. I'm very excited about this, I know she'll love it and it will be more suitable when the two of you come to visit! I know, I'm getting ahead of myself again, but I really hope things work out for you and Katie."

Chakotay crossed his fingers, "So do I, Gretchen, so do I."

The next day Gretchen busied herself with shopping and making arrangements to redecorate Kathryn's room while Chakotay and his new tools beamed to Kathryn's house in San Francisco. Tom and B'Elanna met him there at 0900 as promised to evaluate the house and help clear out all the trash.

Chakotay hugged them both, "You guys look great, being back home sure must agree with you! Wow, that's a great truck, Tom, is it yours?"

Tom gave him a slap on the back, "You too, old man, you look great! No, I borrowed the truck from my cousin, figured it would come in handy for hauling supplies, he's working on Alpha Centuri right now, so he let me borrow it 'til he gets back at the end of the summer. How is the captain doing? Dad told us what happened. I hope it's not out of line to say this, but I'm damn glad the two of you are back together, Chakotay. If there ever was a marriage made in heaven, it's the two of you!"

"Thanks, Tom, I'm glad too, but don't get ahead of yourself, there are no plans for a wedding yet, we're just taking life one day at a time. She's doing as well as expected I guess, but she's pretty upset, she's had a hard time since she's been back."

"Yeah," B'Elanna interrupted, "And I just can't believe what Starfleet is doing to her, I think the whole thing really sucks, they ought to give her medals, not all this grief and red tape; it's no wonder she's having such a hard time."

"You'll get no argument from me. Well, this is her house, what do you think of it?"

Tom scratched his head as he looked up and down, "Ummm, wow, that's pretty run down, sure looks like it could use some work."

"Some work?" B'Elanna interrupted, "This is a lot worse than you said, Chakotay, you're not serious about fixing this dump up are you? It would be cheaper and easier to just hit it with a photon torpedo and start over! Did Captain Janeway really buy this place, are you sure this is the right house? She never struck me as the kind of person that would have an old relic like this."

Chakotay picked up his tools and started for the door, "Yes, I'm sure it's the right house, her mother brought me here last week to look at it and I was surprised when I saw it too. C'mon, lets go inside and I bet you'll see why she bought it. Her mother said it wasn't this bad when she left, it was rented out to some bad tenants and then sat empty and got run down, that's all. It's a fine old house under all the mess!"

"Uh huh…" B'Elanna said as she stepped over the puddle in the foyer. She looked around the living room and plopped down on the old sofa as a cloud of dust billowed out of it. "I must get the name of her decorator! Chakotay, why don't you just tell the captain that this house is beyond repair, I mean, everything's an antique and look at all this mess and damage!"

Chakotay sat down beside her as Tom looked up and studied the source of the leak in the foyer ceiling. "B'E, the house is old, but that's no reason to tear it down and, anyway, you haven't even looked around yet. I have and it's structurally sound, a lot of the work needed is just cosmetic. She bought the house with the intention of restoring it and it wasn't this bad when she left, obviously, as she was living here. Her mother said Kathryn put a lot of hard work into this house and she loved it, so I think the least we can do is try. OK?"

"OK!" B'Elanna said as she got up off the sofa. "I'll go and have a look around and try to keep an open mind. Captain Janeway gave me a good home for the last seven years, so I suppose the least I could do is my best to fix up her home."

They worked through the morning hauling trash out to the dumpster container in the back yard. When they had the last of the major debris cleared out, they went out for lunch and discussed how to prioritize the repairs. B'Elanna reported that the plumbing was essentially in good shape and the repairs needed would only take a day or two at most. The electrical system was not in such good repair and, for the sake of safety and efficiency, really needed to be totally redone.

Chakotay sat his bean burrito down as he made a note on his PADD, "How long do you think that will take, B'Elanna?"

"Probably a good week, less if I can get some help, but I may have to rip holes in a few walls and I'll definitely have to rip out the wall in the kitchen to find that leak back behind the sink. I should do that first then we can turn the master water valve back on and have water without causing more damage to the kitchen floor. Remember, that house has old style toilets, so without water we could have another rather inconvenient problem!"

"OK, sounds like a good plan. What about the environmental control system?"

B'Elanna laughed hysterically, "I bet it's at least fifty years old and it's been Jeri rigged so many times parts of it are literally held together with duct tape and it's not energy efficient, probably costs a fortune to operate and doesn't work well. It isn't working now, but I could probably get it working, but in my opinion, that would be a waste of time as it would probably just break down again and I'm sure you can't get parts for a system that old. I really think it would be better to have it replaced, but that would be pretty expensive.

"OK, I agree, I'll talk to Kathryn's mother about it this evening. Tom, what do you say we get up on the roof when we get back and see if we can at least patch that leak and replace any shingles that look bad."

"That sounds good, at least from the ground, I didn't think the roof looked all that bad except in that one spot, but wouldn't it be better to replace it with a solid sheet of modern duranium compound?"

"No, Kathryn's mother said she was trying to keep the house as original as possible and use materials like they would have used back in the late twentieth century when it was built. She was pretty sure Kathryn had the roof replaced when she bought it, so it shouldn't be all that bad, I think one of those tree limbs lying beside the house must have fallen on it. I found the place where Kathryn was getting reproduction materials for old houses, so we can probably get a lot of what we need there and keep it authentic to the period."

Work progressed slowly on the house, with various friends and Voyager crew members stopping by to help when they had the time. Unfortunately, as with many old houses, getting into fixing up one thing often revealed another that needed fixing too, but Chakotay was determined that he would restore Kathryn's house and make it what she had always dreamed it would be.

Chakotay returned late on Thursday evening and had to rush to shower and change to make it to the dining room in time for dinner. For the first time, he was glad for Komn's help as he would have been late for dinner without it and being late for dinner was something that simply was not done in the Janeway house. He and Gretchen were engaged in pleasant conversation about Chakotay's progress on Kathryn's house and Gretchen's progress on redecorating her room when Komn interrupted them, announcing that she had a call from Counselor Symot on the com link. They rushed to the study and stared at the screen, dumbfounded, as Symot stoically delivered his message.

"Good evening, Mrs. Janeway. Unfortunately I regret to inform you that Captain Janeway has lost her privilege to have visitors this Sunday. An attendant apprehended her disposing of food in the toilet and, since she has only gained point two three kilos since admitted, probability is high that this was not the first time she has done so. Her metabolic rate and caloric intake are carefully monitored and do not correlate with the amount of weight she has gained. She will now be monitored while consuming her meals to prevent any future incidents. In Captain Janeway's case I feel that restricting her privilege to have visitors should serve as an effective deterrent to a reoccurrence of this behavior."

Gretchen looked at Chakotay and gritted her teeth. "Counselor, would you please explain how treating her like a child and punishing her will do any good?"

"Certainly, Madame. Captain Janeway is a dedicated Starfleet officer and she understands military discipline. Since her privilege to have visitors is what she values most, it is logical that revoking it should serve as an effective deterrent. We discussed it at length this afternoon and she has accepted my decision as she was well aware that what she did was against the orders her doctor gave her and disciplinary action is customary when orders are disobeyed. If there are no more incidents the rest of the week, I will allow her to speak to you via the com link on Sunday."

"Very well," Gretchen conceded. "Counselor, have you made any progress with Kathryn? I received the report you sent me and, while it was very lengthy and detailed, quite frankly it didn't really say very much."

"Captain Janeway has not been willing to discuss anything beyond a very superficial level with me thus far, however this is not unusual as we have only had four sessions together and it can take some time to establish the level of trust necessary for honest effective communication. Today's incident served to substantiate that she indeed suffers from an eating disorder as she disobeyed a direct order from her physician and engaged in subterfuge to avoid eating. She is quite aware that she is too thin, so I conclude her disorder is rooted in her feelings of guilt and a need to punish herself as it were and not in any sort of vanity or faulty self perception. I believe that, with time, she will share her concerns with me and we can begin to make progress. Please do not overly concern yourself, Mrs. Janeway, for we have had many patients here with similar problems and have been able to help them."

"Thank you, Counselor Symot, I'm sure you'll do you best to help my daughter."

"I shall, Mrs. Janeway. I will contact you again when I have more to report. Good evening, Madame," Symot said as he nodded his head politely and closed the link.

Gretchen drew in a breath and held it for a second before she swiveled her chair and looked Chakotay in the eye, "I just can't believe they won't let her see us, what good will that do? It will just upset her all the more and I can't believe Katie was flushing food down the toilet!"

"Well, I'm sure they weren't lying about it, maybe she's been doing it all along? If T'Ana took food to her room and she didn't eat any of it she would have told you about it I'm sure, so maybe that's what she's been doing? How else could she have lost so much weight so fast? I know it seems cruel and heartless, but you know she was looking forward to our visit and to seeing her sister again, so maybe this will send a message to Kathryn that they mean business and she had better get with the program, so to speak. He's right, she's a Starfleet officer and she does understand and respect obeying orders and the need for strict discipline." Chakotay took Gretchen's hand, "I know you were looking forward to going to see her and so was I, but at least we'll get to see her on the com link."

"I suppose you're right. Well, I think I've lost my appetite, but let's get back to the dinner table anyhow and then I'll show you the things for Katie's new room that arrived today and I picked up a few things for her house while I was in town."

That Sunday Gretchen sat at her desk and nervously stared at the com link as Chakotay paced behind her. Gretchen checked the time again, "It's twenty after three, her last message said she'd call at 1500 hours! Oh I hope she didn't do anything stupid and lose her com link privileges!"

Chakotay pulled up a chair beside hers and sat on the edge of it, staring at the screen. "She said there was only one link they had to share, she probably just had to wait her turn to use it, I'm sure she'll call, they would have let you know if she had her privileges revoked or if there'd been any changes…." Chakotay was interrupted by the beep of the com link.

"Kathryn!" They both screamed as her smiling face filled the screen.

"Oh, Mom, Chakotay, it's so good to see you!"

"You too, Katie!," her mother replied, "How are you, are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I do feel better, much better, and I have a lot more energy now."

Kathryn went on talking to her mother and Chakotay for about fifteen minutes before she told them that there were others waiting and she only had five minutes left. Gretchen said her goodbyes and left Chakotay alone in the study as she thought he and Kathryn might want a few moments of private conversation.

He leaned into the screen, "I really miss you, Kathryn, I miss you so much! Symot said you couldn't have visitors this weekend because you flushed food down the toilet. Why did you do that, Kathryn? You know you have to eat, they won't let you out of there until you're eating right and gain weight."

She looked down a few moments before she answered, "I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd get caught, it's just that they bring me so much food and I can't eat it all, I just can't! I have been eating, I've gained weight every day and I won't do it again, couldn't if I wanted to, the food police stand there and watch me now."

"Promise me you won't, Kathryn."

"I promise."

"And promise me you'll open up to your counselor, you need to, you have to so that he can help you. If you don't like him, ask for someone else. You can write to me and tell me what's bothering you too, I'll always be here for you, Kathryn, and I'll always listen and not judge you. Don't forget, I was there too, I know what happened and I understand some of what must be troubling you. Counselor Ehytr said you mentioned a betrayal was troubling you, but you wouldn't elaborate beyond that. Kathryn, were you referring to what happened with Mark? Her lips quivered as she nodded her head almost imperceptibly. "Kathryn, I told you I forgave you, so you don't need to be upset about it. I love you more than life itself, it doesn't matter, so let's just forget about it and move on, OK? Don't cry, Kathryn."

"I'm sorry, I am trying to get better and I want to move on, you have to believe me. I know that I have family and so many dear friends that love me and care about me and I have a career that I love and want to fight for and get back to. Most of all, I know I have you and I love you and want to have a life with you too, I want to move on. Oh, Chakotay, my time is up, I have to go!"

"OK, Kathryn, but please talk to the counselors, don't hold anything back. I know that's hard for you, but it's what you have to do. If you think it would help and they'll allow it, I'd be glad to beam out and be with you for your counseling sessions. Is there anything you need from here?"

"No, not a thing, thanks. Damn, I have to get off, take care of Mom and tell her I love her." Kathryn put her finger tips to the screen. "I love you, Chakotay."

He did the same. "I love you too, I'll see you next Sunday."

The screen went blank and Chakotay sat back in his chair, realizing, since they met, he and Kathryn had never gone so long without seeing one another. Even in the last few months on Voyager when Kathryn had made it clear she wanted to end their close friendship, they had at least seen one another almost every day, even if all she did was issue him orders and send him away with a curt "Dismissed, Commander."

The next week actually passed rather quickly. Gretchen was very busy at the university with some visiting Andorian mathematics professors as well as her regular classes and she spent most of her free time seeing to all the details to redecorate Kathryn's room. Chakotay thought it a waste to dispose of things not really in need of replacement, but he did see Gretchen's logic that Kathryn needed a fresh start and, if nothing else, the project kept Gretchen and the staff occupied and happy.

He spent his days working on Kathryn's house and each day a few people would turn up to help him. The project was coming along well, but not progressing as fast as he initially estimated it would. When it came to repairing something or replacing it, Gretchen always opted to have it replaced, so that often meant ordering supplies and waiting for them to arrive. Chakotay had finally found a company who would install a modern environmental control system in such an old house, but again there would be a wait until they were able to arrive and do the job and, of course, B'Elanna insisted it must be done when she could personally be there to supervise.

Kathryn was now able to call each evening on the com link and they both relished the fifteen or twenty minutes they had to spend with her. Symot felt that he was making slow progress with her, however her doctor was not encouraged by her meager weight gain and persistence in only picking at her food and not eating as she should be. They both felt there were deep underlying issues that were yet to be uncovered and dealt with and were hinting that Kathryn might have to be there for quite some time. Kathryn had her good days and bad, but she was always glad for the time she had to talk with her loved ones.

When Sunday finally arrived Gretchen and Chakotay could hardly stand waiting until it was time to leave. Komn drove them to the transport station and removed an enormous suitcase from the trunk, several boxes and a huge potted plant as well.

Chakotay looked at everything and shook his head, "What's all this? Kathryn said all she needed was her computer and some more shampoo and I have that."

"Oh, it's nothing, I just got Katie a few clothes in smaller sizes so she'd have something that fits her right so she looks nice and of course she has to have shoes to match."

Chakotay shook his head in disbelief, "Of course! What about all those boxes?"

"Well, Phoebe is coming, so naturally I had to get a few things for her and the grandkids, we Janeways love to shop!" Chakotay grabbed the suitcase and smiled at Komn as the poor old man rolled his eyes and struggled with the unruly potted plant.

Neither of them had been to Starfleet's psychiatric facility before, so it took them some time to find their way to the floor and wing where Kathryn's room was located. By time they found it Chakotay was exhausted as he'd had to carry most of Gretchen's "few things" all the way from the transport pads. Gretchen marched up to the desk, "We're here to see my daughter, Captain Janeway."

The woman behind the desk stood and smiled at Gretchen, then eyed Chakotay and his entourage of packages suspiciously before she motioned for a guard to approach the desk. "He'll have to scan and search everything first Ma'am."

Gretchen slammed her purse on the counter and huffed, "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes, Ma'am, Captain Janeway is in the security wing, I'm sorry, it's regulations, Ma'am. Captain Janeway is in room 412, the guard will escort you. She already has a visitor, her sister I believe."

Gretchen fumed impatiently as the guard searched them and then started in on all the things they had brought along. Once he had finished with Gretchen, Chakotay suggested she go on ahead and he would wait while the guard finished. She sprinted off at a speed that would have been impressive for a woman half her age. The guard tore through everything with meticulous precision, no doubt somehow convinced that a Starfleet commander and an eighty some year old admiral's widow would be the ones to try to smuggle in a compression phaser rifle to a decorated starship captain. Chakotay looked at the mess the guard had made of the suitcase and packages and punched his name into his PADD to report him before trying to shove everything back from whence it came. Apparently Gretchen was even better at packing than she was at shopping and the things refused to fit back neatly into their containers. He finally gave up and threw a collection of dresses that would not fit back in the suitcase over his shoulder, stuck Gretchen's purse between his teeth as that was the only thing he had left in which to hold something and trudged down the hall to Kathryn's room, his vision almost totally obscured by the huge potted plant as it bobbed back and forth.

As he entered the room he stood unnoticed in the doorway and stared at what could only be described as a gaggle of female Janeways, all conversing simultaneously in a language that sounded faintly like English, but was somehow even more incomprehensible than Komn's French.

Kathryn finally looked up and noticed him, "Well, don't just stand there, Chakotay, c'mon in!" She went to him and removed the purse from between his teeth and kissed him. "Chakotay, everyone knows a brown purse doesn't go with black shoes! Mom, Phoebe, come here and help him… Chakotay, what did you bring all this stuff for?" She giggled as he wrapped his arms around her and solidly planted a kiss on her lips once they had freed him of all the packages. "Phoebe, this is Chakotay."

He extended his hand to her, but Phoebe hugged him hard enough to make him wonder if he should look for the nearest osteo-regenerator, then stood back and smiled, "Oh, Katie, you weren't exaggerating! Hello, Chakotay, my sister has been bending my ear about you for the last twenty minutes, it's so good to finally meet you!"

The three sat and conversed for awhile before Gretchen and Phoebe set about somehow making all the things they had brought Kathryn fit into the limited storage space in her room. Chakotay sat next to Kathryn on the bed and held her hands, "You look better, Kathryn, but how are you feeling, how are you really feeling?" He slid his hand across her ribcage to see if he could feel any weight gain, but she swatted it away.

"Chakotay, if I wanted to get groped, I'd go find that security guard Mom was ranting about and, for your information, I have gained almost a kilo since I've been here! How have you been?"

"I'm fine, Kathryn and don't worry, I noted that guard's name to report him. You didn't answer my question, how are you and don't say 'fine' because I want more of an answer than that."

Kathryn put her arm around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "OK, I'm being honest now so I'll tell you, I still have trouble sleeping, I get nightmares, and I still don't have an appetite and only eat because some food Nazi stands there and makes me do it, but I am eating. I'm really tired most of the time and I try to sleep, but I just can't. I'm lonely too and I want to go home, I miss you and Mom and most of the other patients here aren't good company because they're crazier than I am."

"Stop that, Kathryn, you're not crazy, you're sick! Have you heard anything more from Dr. Pulaski about the vaccine they're working on and how are your sessions with your counselor going?"

Pulaski was here yesterday, heavens but she reminds me of what the EMH would be like with a bad case of constipation! Anyway, she said it's still hopeful and the virus is slowly going into remission as I get stronger. Symot and I had a productive session this morning and I finally got how guilty I feel about what I did with Mark off my chest. I told him the whole story," Kathryn began to sob softly, "How he was married, how I started it and how I was unfaithful to you. I know we never formally made any vows or promises to one another, we never spoke them, we never even actually said I love you until we got back, but that night on New Earth…"

"Kathryn," Chakotay interrupted, "I never asked or expected you to be…"

"Please let me finish! Chakotay, that night on New Earth, after you told me that story, I made a silent vow to you, to love you and to be your partner in all ways… as soon as I could completely let go of the past, of Mark, and accept that Voyager wasn't coming back. Well, you know what happened after that, when we returned to the ship, the life I wanted with you was no longer possible, but I remained committed to the promise that I would be faithful to you until we could be together. As the years wore on I realized you had obviously made the same unspoken promise to me that night and, at some point, I started feeling guilty that I had condemned you to a life of waiting for something that could seemingly never be. I was also angry that I was the captain and, because of that, couldn't have what I wanted… and that I should punish myself for wanting what I knew I couldn't… shouldn't have and for thinking of myself before my duty to the ship and her crew. I was also regretting some of the decisions I made out there and subconsciously punishing myself by denying myself what I most wanted, the person who would make me happy and end my loneliness. Symot helped me to realize that my answer was to distance myself from you and most everyone else, partly to set you free and partly because I was starting to have trouble keeping my hands off you, you handsome thing," she giggled as she kissed him on the neck. "So, I think I explained the rest to you that morning in my room, I was being totally irrational and I somehow thought, if I betrayed you, it would end it, you wouldn't want me anymore and I'd stop wanting you. I couldn't do that on the ship, get involved with anyone else, so I'm disgusted to say I grabbed the first man I could find and, well, you know the rest. I had no feelings for Mark, he was just there. I'm very ashamed and very sorry, but, as Symot said, I have to put it to rest and move on."

Chakotay squeezed her hands and looked directly into her eyes, "Thank you for telling me that, Kathryn, I know it was hard. I'll say it again and for the last time, I understand and forgive you and you're right, it's time to move on and, by the way, I would have waited an eternity for you. You're the only woman I have ever loved so much and the only woman I have ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with, Kathryn Janeway." He kissed her and reached over and grabbed his bag, "Here, I brought you your computer and some shampoo and a present."

Kathryn tore the paper off and laughed so hard she nearly fell off the bed. "I can't believe this, now they'll think I'm really crazy!" she said as she kissed him and then sat the framed picture of their tomato plants on her night table.

"Well, I wanted to get you something you didn't have and, after your mother went shopping, this was all that was left. The tomato plants are doing fine, just waiting for you to come home. Speaking of crazy, I'd never share this with anyone but you, but when I'm lonely and missing you, sometimes I go out to the garden and… well, well I talk to them!"

Kathryn hugged him and giggled, "Well, just don't let anyone find out, or they'll lock you in here too and force feed you tapioca pudding 'til it comes out your nose. Come on, let's help Mom and Phoebe get the 'Janeway collection' put away and then I want you to get to know my sister and," she whispered, "Maybe we can get rid of them for a few minutes and sneak into my closet!"

"Oh, Kathryn, as much as I'd like to get you alone for a few minutes, I don't think a nanite would fit into that closet, so I'll just save it up for when you get home… and when you're ready."

When they got back home Gretchen collapsed on the sofa. "I can't believe how little closet space there was in that wretched place, how do they expect a person to survive? Oh well, we'll take her new things next Sunday and bring some back. I thought Katie looked a little better, what did you think?"

"I think she looked better too, but she hasn't gained very much weight, has she?"

"No, she hasn't, I made her lift her shirt and show me her ribs and she still looks like a skeleton, but at least she is gaining weight and getting better. It was so good to see her laugh and see her smile again and I think our visit and seeing her sister again really did her some good. If I may ask, what were the two of you talking about when you had your heads together? If it's too personal to share, I'll understand."

"Not at all, Gretchen. She told me she finally confided in her counselor about why she became distant and reclusive on Voyager and what happened with Mark and she explained it to me."

Gretchen raised her hand and stopped him, "You don't need to go into it, I don't need to know what she said, that's between the two of you. I'm just glad you worked it out and that she's finally opening up and letting them help her. I also want to say that I can't tell you what it means to me to know that Katie has someone like you in her life, if you hadn't come and then stayed despite how she was treating you at first, well, I don't want to think about what shape she'd be in today. Thank you, Chakotay, I know your parents are no longer with us, but you honor them by being the person that you are and I want you to know that I love you like a son. Now, help this old lady up and let's go out to the kitchen and see about something cool to drink."

The next week actually passed quite quickly for Gretchen and Chakotay and they practically lived for their nightly conversations with Kathryn. She remained in good spirits most days and her doctors reported progress, although not as fast as they would have hoped. Everything for Kathryn's new room had arrived except for some custom made pillows ordered from Vulcan and her loveseat and chair, which were still out being re-upholstered. Chakotay was spending an hour or two after dinner painting her room what had come to be know as Indiana pre dawn blue, but he was so tired after working on her house all day he hadn't even half finished the large bedroom. Her house in San Francisco was coming along, B'Elanna had repaired the plumbing, started on the electrical system and they were waiting for the crew to begin work on the new environmental control system. Tom had managed to assemble a large contingent of former Voyager crewmembers who "owed him favors", which Chakotay knew was merely a euphemism for gambling debts, to refinish the floors. Chakotay insisted that it be done by hand in the time honored manner, so the house's old wooden floors would take considerable time, but would soon be worthy of "Lady Janeway's" dainty feet!

On Sunday Gretchen suggested that T'Ana come along to visit Kathryn and she gratefully accepted the invitation, exhibiting a very un-Vulcan excitement at being able to see Kathryn again. As Komn drove them to the transport station, T'Ana cradled the bouquet of lovely rare orchids that her father Stanak had cut for Kathryn from his own precious plants in their home above the Janeway's carriage house.

Komn shook his head and unloaded the excessive amount of things that Gretchen was sure Kathryn couldn't possibly do without, while she walked to the transporter pads as she told Chakotay, "If that wretched guard so much as tires to touch me, I swear, I'll whack him with my purse this time and, if he lays a hand on T'Ana, I'll whack him with more than my purse!"

"Relax, Gretchen, I reported him to Admiral Paris, I think he's on his way to guard some automated borite mine on an asteroid in the Mutara Sector right now!"

"Serves him right!" Gretchen exclaimed as she tucked her purse under her arm. "I hear the weather is lovely in the Mutara Sector this time of year. Shall we?"

They checked in at the desk and the new guard became a quivering pool of gelatin when he heard the name Janeway and performed only the most brief of scans before he sent them on, not bothering to actually search anything. Kathryn was sitting on her bed with her computer when they came in, but she held her finger to her lips, nodded towards her roommate sleeping on her bed and led them down the hall to the lounge for their visit, chatting as they walked.

"Chandrice, my roommate, didn't have a good morning, so they finally had to give her a sedative, poor thing. Oh come here all of you and give me a hug! Nana, you came, what a wonderful surprise!" Kathryn embraced T'Ana and hugged her warmly. Although a Vulcan, she had been in the Janeway household for so long she had become accustomed to their very affectionate and tactile nature.

"It is agreeable to see you again, Miss Kathryn, you mother tells me that your condition continues to improve. My father sent you these orchids and asked me to convey to you his wish that you are soon able to return home."

"Yes, Nana, in fact I am proud to tell you all that I gained almost half a kilo this week! Please thank Stanak for the orchids, they're lovely. C'mon, everyone, let's sit over by the windows, the view of the mountains is wonderful, especially if you're from a place as flat as Indiana!"

The four sat and talked for nearly an hour. Kathryn was in good spirits and much more animated than she had been in weeks. The reports from her doctors, particularly Symot, had also been encouraging, although they were of course still very concerned with her lack of appetite and slow progress in gaining weight. She was nicely dressed in one of the dresses her mother had brought her the previous weekend and had obviously taken the time to do her hair and put on some makeup as well, although it did not hide the dark circles under her eyes from not sleeping well. Kathryn looked up and saw her roommate enter the lounge and sit with some other patients, so she suggested that they could now return to her room.

Her mother stood and gestured for Chakotay and Kathryn to remain seated, "T'Ana, why don't we go to Kathryn's room and put away the things we brought, get these orchids into a vase and give them a little time alone?" T'Ana stood and bowed politely in agreement. "Go ahead and visit, Katie, we'll be back in awhile."

"Thanks, Mom, and thank you for the clothes, I'm the best dressed patient here! So, Chakotay, how are our tomatoes doing?"

He took out a picture and gave it to her. "As you can see, they're coming along nicely! I'll bring you a picture every week so you can watch them grow too. Stanak put some sort of fertilizer concoction on them and they're really taking off! How about you, Kathryn, how are you coming along… and don't say 'fine'!"

"OK, I won't, I'll just say I'm coming along nicely too. I'm really starting to feel more comfortable with Symot, he got me to talk about how I got Voyager stuck in the Delta Quadrant in the first place, how, after time and losing so many people I started to wonder if I'd made the right decisions. Well, anyway I won't go into that because you know the story as well as I do, but I'm finally starting to be able to get what's in my head out of my mouth. I'm still having terrible nightmares, I don't care for my roommate anyhow, but I feel sorry for her having to put up with me the way I get some nights. I also miss you and I never really thought about it until now, but, except for the first couple of weeks I was home, this is pretty much the only time in the last seven years that I'm not sleeping within a few meters of you. I know we've never actually slept together unless falling asleep at opposite ends of my couch while working late counts, but somehow knowing you were close made me feel safe and I slept better."

He put his arm around her and held her tightly, "Well, maybe if we snuggle up close while I'm here, it will last until next weekend? I miss you too, but even with however many kilometers between us, we're still close, Kathryn, I don't think any force could separate us now. Do you remember a couple of nights after we got back to Voyager from New Earth I was making so much noise one night I woke you up and you came over and reamed me out good and almost put me on report?"

"Yes, I remember that, I had a headache and had just gotten to sleep and you were banging up a storm and woke me. It was after 2 am as I recall and I was pretty angry at the time. Why are you asking, I'm certainly not upset about it anymore!"

"Well, the reason I was making so much noise was because I couldn't sleep and decided to rearrange my quarters that night and I put my bed up against the bulkhead between our quarters so we'd be sleeping as close together as possible."

Kathryn laughed and slapped him on the wrist, "Is that why you did that? I just figured you rearranged your room to make space for all the stuff you brought back from the planet. Have any other confessions to make, Chakotay?"

"Actually I suppose I do. Sometimes on New Earth when I couldn't sleep I'd get up and walk to your room and watch you sleeping as you were usually asleep by time I went to bed. I wasn't doing it to try to get a peek at your body or anything like that, I never ever touched you and there was nothing sexual about it, I wasn't doing it to, well, you know…" he grinned, "It's just that you'd have such a peaceful expression on your face when you were asleep and you were so beautiful and I would just stand there and admire you, that's all. I know that was invading your privacy and I guess I should apologize for it, I was taking advantage of the fact we didn't have any doors on our bedrooms."

"Well, Chakotay, I'll 'fess up too and you're not the only one who invaded privacy! I only did it once, but I got up to go to the bathroom one night and, on my way back, I could hear you talking in your sleep, which, by the way, you do quite frequently. I listened at the partition and couldn't understand what you were saying but I was almost sure I heard my name, so I tiptoed into your room to see if I could understand you. I don't know if it was because you were mumbling into a pillow or speaking in your language, but I never did understand a word you said except I could swear I heard my name. I will also admit that I did look at you and I might have had an impure thought or two!" She collapsed into red faced giggles as she hugged him.

"So, you were Voyager's resident voyeur? Shame on you Kathryn, I always thought that was Tom Paris' job! I could have been dreaming about you that night, I often do. I'll confess sometimes they are erotic dreams about making love with you, but, and I know you probably won't believe me, but most of the time they're not. I dream about all the simple things we've never been able to do, things like going for a walk on the beach and holding hands, going to an old fashioned country fair and riding the Ferris wheel with my arm around you while we eat sticky pink cotton candy, walking to an outdoor café on a Sunday morning to have coffee and pastries, taking that moonlight boat ride and, most of all, I dream about waking up in the morning and having your face be the first thing I see; those are the things I dream about, Kathryn. Well, it sounds like we could both use a blast of cold air in lieu of a cold shower, so would you like to go outside and take a little walk? There's a beautiful courtyard in front of the building."

She pulled the neck of her dress aside and showed him the small lump beside her collar bone, "I'd love to go outside, but I still have the security monitor implant, I can't leave this wing of the building, I'm sorry, Chakotay."

He gently touched the lump under her skin, "How do those things work, Kathryn?"

She pulled her dress back over it, "Pretty simple actually, Starfleet Security sets the parameters of where you're allowed to go. If you get within three meters of the boundary, it beeps to warn you. If you cross the boundary, you get beamed to a holding cell about two seconds later, and that's probably where you'll stay." Kathryn took Chakotay's hands in hers and just smiled at him for a few moments before speaking, "Thank you for sharing those wonderful dreams with me and I know, one day, we'll be able to make all of them come true. Why don't we go back to my room and see if we can get Mother to take most of that stuff home, I really don't need it here, this is the Federation funny farm, not a country club! Half the people here don't even know what day it is, but the ones who do know who I am and I don't want to stick out any more than I already do by dressing up. If you can, would you see if you can buy me some size extra small simple black leggings and grab a couple of my sweat shirts or baggy sweaters and beam them to me without Mom finding out?"

"Of course, Kathryn, is there anything else you need?"

"Yes, I'd like my sketchpad and drawing pencils, they're in the bottom drawer of my desk I think. They're encouraging me to do something creative and the art supplies here aren't very good, so I'd like my own."

"No problem!" Chakotay looked around and whispered, "Come here, Kathryn, nobody's looking and I don't know if I'll be able to get you alone later and I want to kiss you good enough so it lasts all week, if that's OK."

Kathryn looked around too and saw everyone else in the room appeared to be busy, so she slid onto Chakotay's lap. "OK, let's make it a good one, I think that last one only lasted until about 1530 hours on Thursday. I love you, Chakotay, and I look forward to making those dreams of yours a reality some day too." They latched onto one another in what they now jokingly called a "closet kiss" until they were interrupted by the exceedingly loud clearing of a throat.

A very gruff looking ensign towered directly in front of them with her arms crossed over her chest and loudly announced, "Captain Janeway, conjugal visits are not permitted!"

Kathryn, hugely embarrassed, slid off Chakotay's lap and stood up to face the ensign, however the top of her head barely reached the mammoth woman's com badge. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but could you please lower your voice, and, we were most certainly not…. conjugating!" Kathryn grabbed Chakotay by the wrist and led him out of the lounge as she collapsed into a fit of giggles in the corridor. "Busted! And, worse yet, she's the food Nazi I was telling you about. What do you want to bet I'll have to eat fish eyes and tube grubs for dinner tonight? I'm terrified of that woman, you should see her handle a patient when they get unruly, she could bring a Klingon general to his knees and make him cry for his mother!"

Chakotay looked down and laughed. "You must be, that's the only time I've ever heard you address an ensign as 'Ma'am'! I don't blame you, she scares the heck out of me too, I'd eat a vat of carrot pudding before I'd mess with that woman! We'd better behave from now on, I'm sorry if I got you into trouble, it was my idea."

"It takes two to conjugate my dear!"

The next morning Chakotay got up early and beamed to San Francisco to meet with the workers coming to remove the old environmental control system from Kathryn's house in preparation for the installation of a new unit a few days later. Arbruzzi from Engineering and her brother were waiting on the doorstep to help as well and a truck arrived a few minutes later to deliver supplies to construct a deck on the back of the house.

Chakotay was satisfied that the environmental systems workers knew what they were doing, so he sent Abruzzi and her brother to the back yard to clear away the overgrown tangle of weeds and prepare the ground to lay out the new deck. He repaired the area behind the kitchen sink that B'Elanna had to rip out to fix the plumbing and opened the container of mastic to start applying the tiles that Gretchen had picked out. Looking around for something to stir it with, he couldn't find anything, so he went out into the front yard to look for a suitable stick.

"Admiral Paris, this is a surprise! Have you come to see how Kathryn's house is coming along?"

Paris nodded to the two security guards that stood on the sidewalk in front of the house, "This isn't a social call, Chakotay. Where have you been for the last three hours?"

He was confused, but answered right away, "I've been here, Sir, why?"

"Can anyone vouch for that?"

"Well, yes, there's four guys from Bay Area Environmental Systems and Crewman Abruzzi and her brother are here too. We've all been here working since 0900, what's going on Admiral?"

Paris leaned in and asked quietly, "Have you seen Kathryn?"

"Yes, we went to visit her yesterday, why? Is she all right, Owen, has something happened to Kathryn?"

Paris lowed his voice to little more than a whisper, "No, Chakotay, I mean today, have you seen her today?"

"Of course not, she's at the hospital in Colorado, you know that, Admiral."

"No, Symot just called me, she's not."

He scratched his head, "What do you mean she's not? She has to be there, she has one of those security implant things, I felt it myself yesterday. Maybe she just fell asleep in an odd place or wanted some time alone to think or to get away from her roommate for awhile, she doesn't like her very well. She's in the security wing, she couldn't very well just walk out the door, Sir!" Chakotay grinned as he realized what must be going on and he was not going to let Admiral Paris get the better of him. "Did Kathryn put you up to this, did she get out on leave and you brought her here to surprise me?" His eyes lit up as he looked around.

"Chakotay, do I look like I'm joking? They found the implant and a makeshift knife wrapped up in a towel with her blood on it in the bathroom sink, it looks like she dug the security implant out and escaped."

Chakotay tried to take a step back but his legs turned to jelly and he collapsed into a heap on the ground and buried his face in his hands as he shook his head and sobbed. "Oh, Kathryn, no!"

PART QUATRE

Paris crouched down and put his hand on Chakotay's shoulder, "Do you know anything about this, Chakotay, off the record? If you do, now is not the time to keep secrets, the doctors said Kathryn will go downhill very quickly without her medications."

Chakotay gathered his thoughts and looked the admiral directly in the eye, "I give you my word, Sir, I don't know anything and I would never do anything that would jeopardize Kathryn's health. Her mother and the housekeeper and I visited her yesterday and she looked better and seemed to be in good spirits. Kathryn has accepted that she needs help and I really think she was making progress and knew she needed to be there and I can't really fathom how or why she would leave; anyhow, security is pretty tight there, isn't it?"

"Yes, it should be as everyone on her ward is either a detainee or a prisoner, but obviously it isn't and I'm sure she knows that pulling a stunt like this will all but guarantee that she gets sent to the penal rehab colony in New Zealand for a good long time. Her lawyers and I spoke with her on Friday afternoon and told her things for her disciplinary hearing were looking good and she was very optimistic, I just can't see why she'd do this and neither does Symot, it just doesn't make sense."

Chakotay stood, ran his hands through his hair and looked at the sky before he spoke, "Admiral, you're right, it doesn't make sense she'd take off, she had no reason to. While we both know she's clever enough to get out of just about anywhere, we also know that she is not one to do something without a good reason, she was sent there because she's sick, not because she's crazy. I'm sure you're aware that Kathryn's family is quite wealthy, isn't it possible she was kidnapped by someone who knows they could pay a huge ransom or by some group that wants something from Starfleet or wants retaliation against her for whatever they think she did or didn't do?"

"Yes, all of those are possibilities and I think they make more sense than her just running off half cocked, but none of them are good. Starfleet Security is handling this, not my office, so I'm only in the loop as far as they want me to be. They may think that I had something to do with it, I don't know, but I think we can both be assured that they will be looking at us as suspects and monitoring us. Right now she's been labeled an escaped detainee, but I will see what I can do about pressing the issue that she probably had nothing to do with her disappearance, especially since her counselor is of the same opinion. You're quite right, it is a possibility she's been kidnapped for ransom or maybe someone thinks she has classified scientific or military information they can use. They've launched a full scale investigation and have a forensic team out in Colorado, so that may yield something. I'll share any information I get with you unless I'm ordered not to. Hell, I'll let you know even if I am!" Paris nodded his head towards the two guards still waiting at the end of the sidewalk, "They'll need to search her house and question you, procedures, you understand."

"Of course. What about her mother, has she been told?"

Paris motioned to the guards to go ahead and search the house. "No, as soon as they're done I'll beam to the university and I'll tell her myself and see that she gets home safely. They already sent a team to search her house and I'm sure it and all our com links are being monitored. Why don't you let your friends see to Katie's house today and go home so you can be there when Gretchen gets back? I'll come back with her and stay until Starfleet can get some agents in there to handle things in case this is a kidnapping, I'll make sure that Gretchen and her home are secure and guards are posted for your safety as there could be a threat to the whole Janeway family. She's an admiral's widow, she's entitled to protection."

"Thank you, Sir. Admiral, I know Kathryn well and I just can't believe that she left willingly, things were going good for her, she just wouldn't do that!"

"I agree, but the knife they found was homemade, they don't let the patient's on Kathryn's ward have anything suitable as a weapon because some of them are dangerous to themselves or others. If someone kidnapped her for whatever reason, wouldn't they have brought along something to remove her security implant? It's pretty common knowledge all patients on that ward have them."

Chakotay rubbed his chin as he thought, "Yes, that makes sense, I suppose, and Kathryn would certainly know how to fashion a makeshift knife, but so would a lot of people, that's a basic part of survival training, but…"

Paris interrupted him, "Chakotay, if she did this herself, where do you think she would go? I would rather us find her than the Starfleet Security goons."

"Well, she'd go home of course, but she'd also know that's the first place they'd look, same for her sister's house or any of her other family or friends. I honestly don't know of anyplace she'd go other than the obvious and she'd be too smart for that. Maybe Gretchen would have a better idea?

"OK, I'll ask her. When the security people have finished with you, go on home and I'll see you there shortly."

Chakotay had already returned home by time the Admiral returned with Gretchen. She was upset, but hiding it well, trying to be confident that Owen and Starfleet would handle the situation. Owen immediately went to the study to contact his office to arrange for several armed guards to be sent to protect the Janeway home and to press Starfleet Security for the matter to be handled as an abduction and not an escape.

Gretchen spoke to the staff then led Chakotay to the garden for a private conversation. They sat on the bench by the fishpond and held hands as they spoke. "Chakotay, Owen said they think Katie escaped, do you have any reason to think they're right? Is there anything she said to you, anything that could possibly explain this? I just can't believe she'd do it, but heaven knows I can't believe some of the other things she's done recently either, she just hasn't been herself since her return. Do you think she could have just snapped and taken off?"

Chakotay squeezed her hand and smiled faintly, "No, I don't. She's certainly clever enough to get out of a secure area, but she had no reason to. We both saw her yesterday and she was fine, she certainly didn't say anything to me that would lead me to think she was so much as thinking of leaving. I hate to say it, but I think Paris is right and someone took her."

Tears welled in Gretchen's eyes, "But, who? Who would take Katie and why?"

Chakotay handed her his handkerchief and put his arm around her shoulder, "I don't know, but we brought back a lot of technology and strategic information from the Delta Quadrant and someone may be after that and think that they can get it from her directly or use her as a hostage against Starfleet to get it. It could also be as Admiral Paris suggested and they just want to get money from you. Whatever the case, I don't think they'd hurt her. We just have to be confident that they'll find her."

Gretchen's face brightened, "I'll try to stay positive, I know Owen will do everything he can." Her face suddenly went ashen as she grabbed Chakotay's hands, "What if the Cardassians got her, oh my gods, you know what they'll do to her!"

"Relax, Gretchen, the Cardassians wouldn't have any reason to take Kathryn, she had nothing to do with them, she was out on a scientific mission back then. Let's go back to the house and talk to Admiral Paris and see what he's found out and then I think you should lie down for awhile and try to rest."

They walked back to the house and found it to be bustling with Starfleet Security people. Paris had convinced them to send an abduction response team should anyone try to contact Gretchen with a ransom demand and he had assigned four security guards to protect the house, in addition to the personnel already posted outside. Gretchen voiced her opposition to having so many guards in the house, however Paris and Chakotay convinced her it was necessary for her own protection.

Admiral Paris caught Chakotay by the arm as he was on his way to the kitchen, "Chakotay, where's Gretchen?"

"She went upstairs to take a nap, there's a guard outside her door… and the housekeeper is guarding the guard."

"Good. Let's take a walk outside where we can talk privately. Here's a phaser, keep it with you, but keep it under your shirt so it doesn't worry Gretchen; it's a remote possibility, but someone could be after you too. I sent a security detachment to Kathryn's sister's home as well, just in case. The forensic team has completed their work and they took whatever they found back to Starfleet for analysis, but I haven't heard more than that. One of the nurses noted that some of the furniture in the room was not quite in its usual place and the bed was not neatly made as they said Kathryn usually does, which suggests that there might have been a struggle and someone tried to put the room back in order quickly, but it's hardly conclusive."

"Well, Kathryn wouldn't have gone down without a fight and she packs quite a wallop for such a small lady… although maybe she couldn't in her current physical condition." Chakotay stopped walking and lowered his voice, "Sir, I hate to bring this up, but Gretchen mentioned the Cardassians and I initially dismissed it as Kathryn wasn't directly involved in that situation, but I can't help thinking, what if it is the Cardassians and it's me and the Maquis they really want? Oh, Sir, I just don't want to think…"

"Relax, Chakotay," Paris interrupted, "We have already considered that and we're working on it, but Cardassians tend to be mercilessly efficient, if it's you they wanted, they would have just grabbed you off the street as it would have been easier than getting Kathryn from a secure location and I doubt they would have known that the two of you are romantically involved, that's not really common knowledge. Chakotay, what about the staff? It's not unheard of for an employee of a wealthy family like the Janeways to kidnap a family member to extort money. We're checking into them of course, but you've been living here a while, do you think any of them could be involved?"

Chakotay didn't need to think to reply, "No, Sir, I don't. The housekeeper, gardener, butler and farm manager have been working here since Kathryn was born or before, I don't think any of them could possibly be involved. I've only met one or two of the farm workers, so I can't say anything about them, but I'm certain the household staff isn't involved."

"What about that annoying little butler she has, he isn't here today, the maid said he was at church, but that sounds suspicious to me. He seems innocuous enough and we'll question him when he returns, but how well do you know him?"

"Komn?" Chakotay laughed, "I don't think he could ever hurt a fly! He's annoying enough sometimes, but he's a good man at heart and he really loves this family. I recall Gretchen saying this is his regular day off and he attends a Bolian church someplace, Indianapolis I think. If he says he's been at church all day, that should be easy enough to verify, but I'm sure he isn't involved, I think he even worked for Admiral Janeway's father too. Oh, and when you question him, you'd better have a universal translator handy."

"Good enough. Does Kathryn have any enemies she's ever mentioned, has she received any threats, or that sort of thing since she's been home? All of you are celebrities now, any messages or contact from some crazed admirer? Can you think of anyone from the crew who might have a vendetta against her? All of them I spoke with had nothing but good things to say about her, but maybe someone has a hidden agenda?"

"Not that I'm aware of, she was a good captain, the crew loved her, Maquis and Starfleet alike. She made plenty of enemies in the Delta Quadrant, but I doubt most of them have the means to travel here and then find her. She did mention she didn't like her roommate, but didn't say anymore than that. Q is a possibility I suppose, he sort of had a thing for her, but I don't think he'd hurt her."

Paris chuckled, "Yeah, I know, I remember reading her report about that! I doubt it was Q, he wouldn't have bothered to cut the implant out, he would have just snapped his fingers and taken off with her, I think we're safe from Q. I'll have someone check into her roommate, but they verified she was at a therapy session when Kathryn disappeared, so she's probably not involved. Chakotay, you're looking a little ragged, have you had anything to eat since breakfast?" He shook his head no. "Well, then, why don't you eat something and try to relax? I promise I'll let you know the moment I hear anything, OK? Try not to worry, I've got my best people working on this, we'll find her."

Chakotay went to the kitchen to get something to eat, but nothing appealed to him, he just wasn't hungry. Apparently T'Ana had been interrupted from making early preparations for dinner by the arrival of the Starfleet Security team and she had left an array of vegetables sitting out on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was of course equipped with a food replicator, but Mrs. Janeway always insisted that nothing but fresh food be served at her table and Chakotay had to admit to himself he had never eaten better in his life. He took a bowl of fresh green beans from the counter and sat at the kitchen table to snap them, hoping that the task would take his mind off things for at least a few minutes. He hadn't gotten very far when Admiral Paris walked through the kitchen door, with a grim expression on his face.

He sat at the table and opened his computer, "I just got the report from forensics and it doesn't look good. The only fingerprints and DNA on the knife were hers, apparently it was fashioned with a strip of metal from the underside of a chair and her toothbrush handle. Her uniform is missing and the clothes the staff said she was wearing that morning are there, so she must have changed. Her purse is missing too. Chakotay, she left you a handwritten letter and they have verified that it's her handwriting and only her DNA was on it." He punched up the note on the computer and looked at it as he continued, "It's pretty bad, it says she left because she knows she's guilty and didn't want to spend the rest of her life in prison, she falsified log entries, lied, defied regulations and so on and knew they'd eventually uncover it. Chakotay, this is pretty damning stuff and there's no doubt she wrote it."

Chakotay pushed aside the green beans and slid the computer over to read the letter for himself. It was definitely Kathryn's handwriting and, as he got to the bottom of the letter, the last sentence forever etched itself on his memory: "I don't love you, I never did, I was just using you to get myself cleared, but it's not going to work, so I had to escape." There was not even an 'I'm sorry.' He snapped the computer shut, slid it back to Paris, bowed his head and started idly snapping beans again.

Paris patted his arm, "I'm sorry, Son, it looks like she fooled us all."

Chakotay drew in a breath and looked up from the beans, "No, Sir, I don't believe it, not for a second; that's her handwriting alright, but she signed it 'Katie'. She and I have been on a first name basis for the last five years or so and I have never called her anything but Kathryn, even now. Various people call her Katie or Kath, but not me, not ever, she has always been Kathryn to me. She may have written this, but I'm convinced someone forced her to and she signed it that way as a signal to us. Kathryn is smart, she'd do something like that, I know her."

"You're sure?" Paris questioned.

"Absolutely."

"Very well then, I'll go back to headquarters and talk to the officer in charge and bring it to her attention. Starfleet is keeping this whole incident under wraps as, quite frankly, they're embarrassed someone was able to walk away from a supposedly secure facility, but you realize mentioning this will bring your relationship with Kathryn out into the open and there may be questions about any… improprieties. "

"Of course, but there's nothing to hide. While I'll admit we became spiritually intimate on Voyager, we were never physically intimate, we never crossed the line, Kathryn insisted on that." He looked up and grinned, "Fact is, I never even kissed her good until we got back."

Paris rose from the table and smiled, "Was it worth the wait?"

"You bet it was, Admiral!" Chakotay returned to his beans and finished them and started in on peeling a pile of potatoes when T'Ana returned to the kitchen and chased him out, suggesting that he keep Mrs. Janeway company on the veranda. He filled Gretchen in on what the forensics team had discovered, but neither of them found much comfort in the suspicion that she had been abducted rather than escaped of her own free will.

They went into the kitchen and made sandwiches and coffee for the security officers in the house and Gretchen called Phoebe and had a long talk with her while Chakotay sat in his room and wracked his brain trying to think of who might be behind Kathryn's abduction, if there were any little detail from the past few weeks that might be a clue.

That evening at dinner the mood was somber as Gretchen and Chakotay picked at their food and tried to talk about anything but the situation at hand. When Komn returned the guards dragged him into the dining room to confirm he was who he said he was and Gretchen went with them to serve as an interpreter and calm him down while they questioned him in her study. The poor old man was shaken and, when they finished with him, Gretchen insisted he join them in the dining room for a cup of herbal tea to calm down. Komn finally excused himself, saying that helping T'Ana clean up after dinner would give him something to do and that would help to settle his nerves better than anything.

The next morning after breakfast Komn and T'Ana, accompanied by a security guard, left early to do the shopping. Gretchen was annoyed that the security team had commandeered her study as its headquarters, so she settled on the veranda to plan her lessons for the next day. Paris had tried to dissuade her from going to work, but she insisted upon it, reasoning that she needed to keep busy and she was not going to neglect her students because of her personal problems. He finally relented when she agreed to allow an armed guard to accompany her.

Chakotay had decided against going to Kathryn's house to work since Tom and B'Elanna were free all day and offered to go, so that the work on the new environmental systems could continue on schedule. He was confident that Kathryn would be found and, therefore, the work on her house had to go on, but he thought Gretchen would be more at ease if he remained at home at least for today. He changed into some old clothes and went to Kathryn's bedroom to continue painting it and found that he was able to make good progress and the work kept his mind occupied.

Gretchen rushed in, so excited she nearly tripped over a pile of supplies on the floor. "Chakotay, Pulaski just called, Voyager's doctor has found a cure for the virus! I don't exactly understand what she said, but she sent him a sample of your blood so he could work on it too and he was somehow able to alter your antibodies so that they would be effective against the mutated form of the virus that Katie has. He's on his way here with it and she's almost certain it will work!"

Chakotay threw down his brush and hugged her, "Oh, Gretchen, that's wonderful news! When will he be here?"

"Oh my, I was so excited I can't remember, I think she said in two days, he's a ways out in space somewhere, but he already left. He was also pretty sure Katie not eating was because of the virus, apparently that's how it works, it causes the victims to starve themselves to death, makes them nauseous at the sight of food, suppresses any appetite. He thinks stress and the untreated menopausal symptoms back on Voyager and all the hoopla when she returned weakened Katie and then the virus got hold of her, I just hope they can get Katie back in time, she said it needs to be administered soon. Oh, what if she isn't eating or what if they don't give her any food? Oh, damn it, why isn't there something we can do?"

"Relax, Gretchen, they'll find her, we have to have faith. They took her for a reason, they'll keep her alive, take care of her."

"I hope you're right, I didn't give up on Katie seven years ago and I'm sure as hell not going to do it now. T'Ana and Komn aren't back yet, why don't we go make some lunch and fix something for the security people too?" Chakotay nodded and started to put away his painting supplies as Gretchen surveyed his work. "This looks wonderful, I know Katie will love it and you're doing such a good job. What about her house, Chakotay, you're not giving up on it, are you?"

"No. Tom and B'Elanna are working there today and maybe I'll go for a while tomorrow to work, there's still a lot to be done, I'm afraid. Don't worry, I'm not giving up either, I just thought it would be best if I stayed here today. If nothing else, I'm tired because I didn't sleep very well last night."

"You poor dear! Well, c'mon, maybe some lunch will make you feel better and I insist that you try and take a nap afterwards, OK? If I can get my work finished, who knows, maybe you can even teach this poor old lady how to spackle, sand and paint a wall the old fashioned way."

Chakotay grinned as he placed his painter's cap on Gretchen's impeccably coiffed silver hair, "It would be my pleasure, Ma'am!"

After an early dinner Gretchen and Chakotay settled on the veranda for a game or two of chess, as the study was still being commandeered by the security forces. Admiral Paris had called earlier in the evening and told them that there were no new developments and Voyager's EMH was scheduled to arrive at DS27 the next evening and he would have a shuttle waiting there to bring him to Earth as quickly as possible.

Chakotay scrutinized the chess board carefully, moved his queen and declared, "Check."

Gretchen grimaced and tipped over her king, "I concede, you would have had me in two moves anyhow. I'm sorry, I just can't keep my mind on the game, it seems all I can think about…."

Gretchen was interrupted by the arrival of the Lieutenant in charge of the security detail, "Mrs. Janeway, please come quickly, you have a call and we believe it's a ransom demand."

She and Chakotay followed him to the study as he reiterated his previous instructions to remain calm, try to get as much information as possible and try to keep the kidnapper on the link as long as possible so that they could trace the origin of the call.

She sat at her desk and drew in a sharp breath before punching the button, "This is Gretchen Janeway."

A stern looking Ferengi face filled the screen and got right down to business, "We have your daughter, if you want her back, you must pay the highest price, what is your bid?"

Gretchen was dumbstruck, "My bid? I don't understand."

The Ferengi smiled, revealing that he had a front tooth missing and the rest of them were badly stained. "Give me your bid, woman, we sell her to whoever will pay the highest price. The Orions have already made us a very generous offer and we have a nagus who's very interested in her, apparently he enjoys Human women," the Ferengi replied as he laughed sadistically.

Gretchen was taken aback by this and subtly looked to the lieutenant, however he just gestured that she should try to keep the call going as long as possible, keep him talking.

"I see. Who are you, Sir, and how do I know you have my daughter?"

The Ferengi suddenly looked very nervous, "Who I am is not important, the fact that I have Captain Janeway is!" He pounded his fist on the desk to emphasize his point. "Be ready with your bid in one hour or you lose the right to bid on her!"

"Wait, please, how do I know you have her, can you give me some proof, may I speak to her?" Gretchen pulled herself together and gave the Ferengi a coy smile, "Only a fool bids on goods he cannot see."

Now is was the Ferengi's turn to be taken aback, "I see you are shrewd at commerce, woman! We have her, she is small and sick, she.. uh… she looks at a picture of a big tan Human with black hair, ugly markings on his face and small lobes and she cries, she is very unhappy, she wants to go home. We have her, I give you one hour to consider your bid and hope you are the highest bidder, woman, for Captain Janeway will bring a very high price! I will contact you again in one hour!" The Ferengi cut the link.

The security lieutenant looked at his technician, who had been working to trace the call.

She looked up from her computer and shook her head, "I'm sorry, Sir, that transmission was coming from an array on Ferenginar, but he had it routed through so many other places and so well encrypted that I can't find the actual origin, he could be next door or on Kronos for all I can tell. The Ferengi authorities won't cooperate with us, so there may be no way to trace the actual origin unless we can keep the link open for much longer to run down a maze of what must be dozens of well encrypted reroutes. Whoever set up the call is a skilled hacker, I can tell you that much sir."

"Very well." The lieutenant replied as he took a seat across the desk from Gretchen and continued, "He was nervous, particularly so when you asked for proof, which may indicate he doesn't have her. Ordinarily a kidnapper immediately offers proof he has the victim. It probably also indicates this is the first time he has kidnapped someone, if indeed he has, which is good as he may slip up and make a mistake. His teeth were in disrepair and his clothing as well, which indicates he must be of very limited economic means as any Ferengi will gladly sell his mother to afford nice teeth and flashy clothes. Unfortunately, Ferengi abducting alien women and selling them to the highest bidder is an all too common occurrence, Mrs. Janeway, as they engage in a sort of slave trade that the Federation has been unable to do much about since Ferengi authorities are uncooperative, claiming it doesn't exist. Do you know any Ferengi, Ma'am?"

Gretchen played with a lock of stray hair as she thought, "No, I don't believe so, I don't care for them and, as far as I know, my daughter doesn't know any either unless it would be someone connected to Starfleet."

"It would seem he described Commander Chakotay, is it likely the captain has a picture of him with her as he said?"

"Yes, they said her purse was missing and I'm sure she had a picture of him in it, but they have been all over the press since Voyager's return, lots of people know what Voyager's officers look like, they're practically celebrities."

The lieutenant leaned across the desk and barely whispered so that the others in the room would not hear him, "Yes, Ma'am, but would they know about the captain and the commander, that they are a couple, that he lives with her, that she would carry his picture?"

"No, only a few people know about that: the family, Admiral Paris and Kathryn's closest friends from Voyager. Lieutenant, I take it you have mixed feelings about the voracity of his claim?"

"Yes, Ma'am, some, but not enough to say that he doesn't have her. What I would suggest is that, when he calls back, you ask for more proof, some genetic material, a lock of hair, something like that; a Ferengi respects a shrewd consumer. Does the captain have an unusual birthmark that he could describe, something like that, some positive proof as he may not be willing to beam anything to you as that's much easier to trace."

Gretchen, clearly agitated, got up from her desk. "Absolutely not! I remember what happened when that Andorian diplomat was kidnapped in Paris last month, they asked for proof and they beamed them one of his bloody antennae! Katie does have a little birthmark, but it's not in a place I'd want that shyster looking! I refuse to ask for anything like that!"

Chakotay looked at the lieutenant then moved beside Gretchen, "Let's go outside and take a walk to calm down and then let's discuss this with Admiral Paris and the lieutenant and his team, shall we? It's chilly now, go get a sweater and I'll meet you on the porch."

Gretchen nodded and left the room as Chakotay took the lieutenant aside and spoke to him. He lifted his shirt tail, "I have a phaser, Lieutenant Lawrence, let us go alone, without a guard, and I'll try to calm her down. What's your gut instinct on this?"

"Well, Sir, from what Mrs. Janeway said very few people know you and Captain Janeway are… well, so what he said about the picture is very convincing that he has her. He also knows that she is sick and that is not common knowledge either, only the family and Starfleet should know that. On the other hand, he did not immediately offer up any concrete proof that he has her and most kidnappers will do that to motivate the family to meet their demands. He is clearly inexperienced and nervous, so that is to our advantage as he may make a mistake or we can somehow trick him. We'll embed an encrypted tracer subroutine on her outgoing com link when he calls back, but Specialist Bnara is the best forensic communications expert Starfleet has and she says he's so well rerouted and encrypted, that it may be impossible to trace him."

"What if Gretchen demands that he show us the captain on the screen?"

"That would most likely be useless, he could display any preexisting image of her, a holographic image or claim that she's being held in another location so they can't put her on live. Most of these Ferengi slave traders are smart, they don't keep the women in the same place they sell them from and they move around a lot. It it's any consolation, Sir, from what I've heard they usually don't harm the women as they do it for profit and they're worth more if they're unharmed."

"Small consolation, Lieutenant. I'll be in the back yard with Mrs. Janeway and we'll be back in as soon as I have her calmed down, Please contact Admiral Paris." Lawrence nodded and went back to work.

Paris beamed to the house as soon as Lawrence contacted him and they sat on the veranda with Gretchen and Chakotay and discussed the situation, however the final decision would be Gretchen's as she was a civilian and Starfleet couldn't order her to do anything, they could only strongly advise her. The price wasn't an issue as she could probably afford to outbid anyone, but she finally opted to do as they wished and try to keep the Ferengi on the link, haggle about the price, and question him for as long as possible in hopes that he would either slip up and reveal some useful information or the technician could trace his call.

Lawrence gave her final instructions, "Remain calm, Mrs. Janeway, speak slowly, that will give us more time. Ask him to ask the captain some question that only she and you would know the answer to as proof he has her. Odds are, if he has her, he's not keeping her at his location, so he'll probably refuse to put her on the screen and, anyhow, he could fake that with a hologram. Your tactic that you won't pay for something you haven't seen was good, keep working that, let him think you'll pay more if he gives you proof. See if you can draw it out, what you offer him in ransom is up to you, but realize that you may actually have to pay it and bargain with him, he'll expect that and respect you for it. Keep the bid increments small, that will take longer and you might try telling him you could raise more if he'll give you time to contact your bank or whatever and see if he'll keep the link open while you do. Try to let him think that keeping the link open will get him a lot more latinum."

Gretchen had a hard time keeping calm as the Ferengi's call was more than half an hour overdue when it finally came. This time he seemed to be more nervous than the last and shorter on patience. They haggled a price as the technicians worked to try to trace the link. She tried the ruse about contacting the bank to keep the link open, but he wisely refused. The Ferengi finally accepted her offer, but said he would have to give the other bidders a chance to top it and would call back again in another hour. Gretchen, sensing that the Ferengi was nervous and wanted to end the conversation added, "Sir, my daughter is wearing a charm around her neck, if you can tell me what it is when you call back, I shall double my offer." The Ferengi nervously nodded and cut the link.

Lawrence commended her on a job well done. "Just so I know when he calls back, Ma'am, what is the charm she's wearing?"

"A tomato."

Lawrence looked at her with a most puzzled expression, "Ma'am?"

Gretchen smiled as she rose from the desk, "I said a tomato, Lieutenant, are you hard of hearing, Son?"

"No, Ma'am!" He shook his head and went to consult with the technician, but her exasperated expression was all he needed to see to know she hadn't been able to break through the maze of Ferengi spoofing as he had routed his second call completely differently than his first.

Gretchen, Paris and Chakotay went to the parlor to discuss the situation, however Komn interrupted them by bringing in a tea tray and some snacks. He tried to smile as he served them, but it was obvious he was as upset about the situation as the rest of them were. Gretchen thanked him and asked him to take some coffee and sandwiches to the security team and then suggested that he would do best to remain in the kitchen to keep T'Ana company. He left to do as instructed and they again took up their conversation, however they were interrupted a few minutes later by a guard who gestured as she spoke excitedly, "Mrs. Janeway, please come quickly, there's something wrong with the little old Bolian man, he's screaming and going on about something, we can't understand him, he's hysterical, Ma'am!"

Gretchen ran to the study to find a guard restraining Komn as he was struggling and speaking so quickly even she had trouble understanding him. She wrestled him from the guard and took him to the corner to calm down as Paris accompanied them.

Chakotay gave the young guard a reproachful look, "What did you do to that poor old man and where's your universal translator?"

The guard snapped to attention, "Sir, we didn't do anything, he came in with some food and suddenly started screaming and yelling. I got the translator, but he grabbed it and threw it on the floor. I think he thought it was a weapon, Sir." He showed Chakotay a pile of translator pieces on the edge of the table. "The Lieutenant sent someone for you as soon as it happened, Sir."

As Gretchen got Komn calmed down, Chakotay and Lieutenant Lawrence approached them. Gretchen finally pushed Komn down into an armchair and explained, "He saw the Ferengi kidnapper on the screen and he says he's seen him before." She turned to Komn as they conversed in French again. "He says he saw him a couple months ago at a curio shop on Walnut Street, it's owned by a Ferengi, but not that one."

Lawrence looked at Komn and asked Gretchen quietly, "Is he sure, Ma'am, does he still have a good memory, he seems pretty, well… old and Ferengi look pretty much alike."

"Lieutenant, if you come back here in five years, I assure you he will greet you by name, he never forgets a face!" She wrote something down. "Here's the address, let me get my sweater and I'll go with you."

Chakotay grabbed her arm, "No, Gretchen, you can't go, why don't you take Komn into the kitchen and get him calmed down, get him a drink or some tea or something?" When she left with Komn, he turned to Lawrence, "The man may not speak English very well, but she's right, he never forgets anything. He and I were at that shop a couple weeks ago, Komn was talking to the shopkeeper in some other language, so I don't know what they said, but I bought something, so the shopkeeper could certainly describe me to the other Ferengi. Before you ask, no, I'm certain Komn isn't involved, but I got the impression that Komn knows the shopkeeper, I think he shops there frequently, he collects knick knacks of some sort."

Paris stepped back from the desk. "I just got approval from the local authorities to raid the place, they'll meet us there. Let's get going, Lawrence, gather you men. Chakotay, you stay here with Gretchen, I promise I'll call you the minute I know something." With that they marched into the hall and beamed away.

Chakotay joined Gretchen, Komn and T'Ana at the kitchen table. Poor Komn was still shaken and sobbed as T'Ana quietly spoke to him in French as she tried to console him. Gretchen handed Chakotay a mug of coffee, "Here, drink this, it looks like it's going to be a long night. Komn said he's friends with Tok, the shopkeeper, but he says he's sure he'd never be involved in anything like this, he's relatively honest for a Ferengi and Komn is a good judge of character. He also says he told him Katie was in the hospital and he asked him to look out for something special as a wedding gift for you, so Tok knew about the two of you as well. Tok saw Komn at the market this morning and he noticed how upset he looked and asked about it and Komn told him Katie was missing. I'm sure it was all innocent, Chakotay, Komn and Tok have been friends for a long time, they even play pool together in town sometimes, and I think Tok was a butler for the Patel family down the road before he opened his shop, that's how they met. I'm going to go call Phoebe, you stay here with them and make some more coffee, please."

Paris called within half an hour and said they had detained the shopkeeper and searched his home and the shop, but Kathryn wasn't there. They had taken Tok to Starfleet Security headquarters for interrogation and he promised he would call as soon as they knew anything, however Tok was claiming innocence.

The four sat around the kitchen table for a while and tried to pass the time, but it seemed to drag on forever as they could hear the antique grandfather's clock in the front hall ticking off the seconds as the guard paced up and down the hall. Finally Gretchen stood and announced, "I'm going to bake some caramel brownies, cooking relaxes me and I need something to do." T'Ana rose to help her, but she insisted she didn't need any help. Gretchen went through the cupboards, returned to the table and sat two bowls of nuts and some empty dishes on it. "Here, why don't you three shell some nuts, I think I'll put walnuts in the brownies and I'll make a pecan pie too." They sat and idly shelled nuts as Gretchen started preparing things.

Chakotay took a break and patted Komn on the back and spoke to him as T'Ana translated, trying to reassure him that it wasn't his fault, he had done nothing wrong. He jumped as his com badge beeped and retrieved it from his pocket as they all gathered around to listen to Admiral Paris.

"We have Kozok, the Ferengi who made the ransom demand, in custody. He's Tok's brother in law and he doesn't have Katie, it was just a scheme to extort money. Tok denied knowing who he was at first because the man's on Earth illegally and he thought he'd get into trouble for helping him get here. We made a few threats and they started talking pretty fast. Tok is innocent, his brother in law was in the loft of the shop the day Chakotay was there and saw him. He overheard Tok mention to his wife this morning about his friend Komn, how upset he was that Katie was in the hospital then went missing and so on and he reasoned that a family with a butler could afford to pay a ransom, so he pretended to have her to extort money. Don't worry, we'll keep working on it, we'll find Kathryn! I'm going home, but I'll check in with you tomorrow and I let you know as soon as I hear anything. I'm sending back the guards, just in case, and Lawrence and his team can be back there at a moment's notice if they're needed. Chakotay, take care of Gretchen and you all try to get some rest. Paris out."

T'Ana had been explaining things to Komn as Paris spoke and he began to sob again. Gretchen helped him up, "T'Ana, take him upstairs to his room and try to get him to go to bed and then go home yourself, we'll be fine, there's guards outside and in the house." She tried to reassure Komn as she herded them out of the kitchen and then returned to the counter and started mixing again. "Chakotay, I don't know if this is good news or bad."

He carried the nuts over and started to help her. "Neither do I. Let's get this finished and then why don't you turn in early too, you need to get some rest, especially if you're going to work tomorrow. I'll speak with the guards and make sure the house is secure and one of them accompanies you tomorrow and then I'm going to bed too, OK?" He smiled and gave her a hug. "They will find Kathryn, they have to."

The next day passed uneventfully, Gretchen went to work and Chakotay spent a few hours working on Kathryn's house, however he left early so that he could be home when Gretchen returned. As they were having tea, a long standing custom in the Janeway home that was not to be disrupted, even by recent events, Admiral Paris arrived and delivered his somber news. "I'm sorry to arrive unannounced and interrupt, but I'm sure I'm being monitored, so I thought it best not to use the com link. Katie's card was used about an hour ago at a store in San Francisco to purchase supplies: emergency ration packs, power cells, a water replicator, that sort of thing. The security monitor in the store was not operating so we don't have video, however the clerk said a small woman with reddish hair in a red and black Starfleet officer's uniform made the purchase, although when they showed him a picture of Katie after he described her, he said he couldn't be sure that was the same woman, only that the woman looked a lot like that. It may be that the clerk was nervous or simply doesn't have a good memory, but I think we can be pretty well assured that it was Katie."

"I can't believe that!" Gretchen exclaimed as she put her hands over her face and slumped over.

Chakotay moved to sit beside her. "Sir, are you sure it was Kathryn?"

"Well, as I said, the clerk wasn't 100 positive, but that sure sounds like her to me and we are certain it was her card, they left it active so that she could be tracked if she used it. This is good as it means she's alive and wasn't abducted, but it also probably means that she left of her own free will and what she bought suggests that she is either planning on hiding out or making a trip. I'm sorry, but I know this isn't what you wanted to hear."

Chakotay replied, "Well, Admiral, I can't dispute the facts, but I still know that my gut instinct is that she didn't escape, at least not willingly. What about the letter she left, she signed it like she did as a signal she was forced to write it and it wasn't worded quite right, she doesn't write like that, it was somehow just a little bit off."

"He's right, Owen," Gretchen asserted, "Chakotay never calls Katie anything but Kathryn, she wouldn't sign a different name to a letter to him, that doesn't make sense."

Paris looked down and thought, then smiled slightly as he looked at Gretchen, "That may well be, but isn't it possible she signed it that way because she intended it for both of you and was in a hurry and forgot to put your name on it too, was thinking of you as well when she signed it or simply that, in her confused state, she made a mistake? All of us answer to many names and she may have just simply chosen the wrong one in her haste or mental confusion. Gretchen, Chakotay, as much as I would like to believe that Kathryn wasn't responsible for her disappearance, we have to face the facts and they are looking more and more like she was."

Gretchen met Paris' eyes with a cold slate blue stare. "You'll never convince me of that, Owen Paris!" she shouted as she stormed out of the room.

Owen rose to go after her, but Chakotay stopped him, "Let her go, Sir, she's just upset, the housekeeper will see to her. I take it they have people out searching for Kathryn?"

"Of course, they're doing all the usual things, but San Francisco is a big place and, just because she was there an hour ago doesn't mean she's there now. Katie is smart, and, if she wanted to hide, I can't see her using her own card and walking around in her uniform in broad daylight, that just doesn't make sense. I can't argue the facts, but something about this just doesn't feel quite right to me. Well, I'm due at a staff meeting about this, so I had better get back and I'll let you know if I hear anything."

When Paris left, Chakotay poured himself a cup of tea and sat with his head in his hands as the tea got cold and he finally drifted off to sleep. He couldn't believe that Kathryn just up and left, despite the mounting evidence that she had, but for the first time Chakotay forced himself to entertain the thought that maybe that was exactly what she did as her words echoed again and again in his head: "I don't love you, I never did, I was just using you to get myself cleared, but it's not going to work, so I had to escape."

The next morning, Thursday, Gretchen had hardly swallowed two sips of coffee before she insisted Chakotay take her upstairs and show her how to paint as she was now determined that Kathryn's bedroom should be finished as quickly as possible. As he showed her how to paint he couldn't help but wonder if she merely wanted to learn something new and keep busy or she had really slipped into the abyss of denial and thought that Kathryn would be home in time to sleep in her new room that night. He knew that, if Kathryn had indeed escaped and were found, it would a very long time before she would be coming home, probably more years than Gretchen had left to wait for her.

He beamed to Kathryn's house and was surprised to find Harry Kim and Tom Paris unloading a large crate from Tom's truck. Chakotay shook Harry's hand warmly, "Good to see you, Harry, long time no see, how the heck have you been?"

"Oh, fine, Sir, I just got back yesterday, I think my parents dragged me to see everyone in the Alpha Quadrant even remotely related to me and a bunch of them are still at my house, so I jumped at Tom's offer to get away for a day." Harry chortled, "When Tom called I think they thought it was his father and it was official Starfleet business, so they didn't give me any argument about leaving. I mean, I'm glad to be home, but I can only eat so many dim sum and take so much of my grandma pinching my cheeks and saying how much I've grown."

Chakotay pinched his cheek, "You do look a little taller, Harry!" He looked at the crate, "Tom, what's that and where's B'Elanna? Yesterday she said she'd be here today, the environmental systems people are coming to work and you know she doesn't trust them to do things right."

"It's the bathtub you ordered, it wasn't supposed to be here until next week, but I checked anyhow and it was there so I picked it up and the replacement gaskets for the doors were there, so I got them too, but the floor tiles you ordered still haven't arrived. B'Elanna's at home, Miral is teething again and she kept B'Elanna up all night, well, half the neighborhood is more like it. Trust me, when it comes to teething you'd think she was a full blooded Klingon kid and really really trust me that you don't want to be anywhere near B'Elanna today either. If I fall asleep at my post today, at least you'll know why."

They unloaded the supplies and got to work, however the new bathtub couldn't be installed until the floor tiles had arrived and been installed, so it was relegated to remain in its crate, pushed into a corner of the dining room for the time being. The conversation among the three was strained at times as it was obvious Harry and Tom knew about what had happened with the captain yesterday and were going to great lengths not to mention her and bring it up. In a way Chakotay was glad for this as he really didn't want to discuss it either, even with close friends.

When he beamed home he was greeted by the guard at the door and entered the house to find T'Ana standing in the hall, her customarily impeccable blue robe and white pinafore splashed with paint.

She bowed her head politely as she spoke, "Good evening, Sir, welcome home. You will forgive my appearance, Mrs. Janeway insisted that I learn how to paint, however apparently my technique needs improvement. She is still in Miss Kathryn's room. May I get you anything, Sir?"

"No, thank you. T'Ana. How is she doing today?"

"She is of course still quite upset, however I believe the task of painting occupied her and allowed her to focus her mind on something other than Miss Kathryn's situation. She did eat some lunch and retired to her room for a short nap afterwards, however I am not certain if she slept. Mrs. Janeway did not instruct me to prepare any particular food for dinner this evening, so I thought I would take the liberty of preparing some of her favorite dishes as that might induce her to eat more than she has been. She said she did not care to have tea today, however I am on my way to prepare it now nonetheless and I hope you will be able to convince her to rest and take tea with you."

"I'll do my best, T'Ana. How is Komn doing today?"

"Quite well, Sir. Mrs. Janeway spoke with him at length and I think he has now returned to his customary demeanor. He has been quite busy today tidying the house, however I think he is merely hoping that his apparent many tasks to perform would prevent Mrs. Janeway from requesting his assistance with the painting. Monsieur Komn is not fond of doing anything that would involve soiling his clothing," she said as she raised an eyebrow and left for the kitchen.

Before Chakotay and a chance to climb the stairs, Komn summoned him to the study for a call from Dr. Pulaski. Not one to waste time mincing words, she got to the point quickly, informing him that Voyager's EMH had arrived with the anti-viral serum he developed and she had examined it and felt that it was safe and would cure the Delta Quadrant virus if it could be administered in time. She reiterated that, without her medication and particularly if she weren't eating, Kathryn's physical condition would decline very rapidly and she would be critically ill within another two or three days. Pulaski did share that, while the evidence was seemingly irrefutable, she had gotten to know Kathryn fairly well and also found it hard to believe that she would willingly leave the hospital.

Chakotay went upstairs and assessed Gretchen's work. While she was obviously a very slow painter and hadn't made much progress, she and T'Ana had actually done a pretty good job, although there were a few spots he'd have to discretely touch up when they weren't around. It was a good thing that she was planning on having the carpet replaced, for if it didn't need it before, it most certainly did now! He filled her in on what they had gotten done at Kathryn's house that day then gave her a sugar coated version of his conversation with Pulaski. Gretchen seemed to take it in stride, but he wasn't quite sure if she was just dealing better with the situation or in an even more advanced state of denial.

Gretchen willingly consented to abandon her painting for the day and had tea, ate a decent amount at dinner and they passed a pleasant evening. She spent some time preparing her classes for the next day and went to bed early. After she had, Chakotay snuck into Kathryn's room to fix Gretchen's mistakes and went to bed early as well.

The next day Tom arrived at Kathryn's house early, once again quite happy to get away from B'Elanna, and he brought several people with him to help. The house was ready for the installation of the new environmental control system to begin on Monday and they got the last of the sub flooring put down in the kitchen and bathrooms, so the tile could be installed whenever it finally arrived. Satisfied with a good day's work, Chakotay left early and stopped by the florist before he beamed home to get Gretchen a bouquet of the Andorian night lilies she loved he had twice heard her lament that, despite Stanak's repeated attempts, refused to grow in Indiana. On his way out of the shop he spied an assortment of coffee mugs intended to hold small floral arrangements and nearly knocked over an elderly gentleman as he grabbed the one that looked like a tomato and bought it for Kathryn.

He showed it to Gretchen after dinner that night and they had a good laugh over it as they went to find a suitable box and gift wrapping paper for it. Gretchen rummaged through the gift wrap supplies in a closet as an idea struck her. "You know, Phoebe got a kick out of the tomato thing too and she mentioned that she saw some fabric with an adorable little tomato print that sounded like it would make cute kitchen curtains, what would you think of decorating Katie's kitchen in a tomato theme? We could go shopping this weekend and look for potholders, towels, canisters, knick knacks and that sort of thing that have tomatoes on them. Phoebe loves to sew, so she could make curtains out of that fabric. You know Katie, she has a whimsical side, I think she'd like it, don't you?"

"How was her kitchen done before? All her stuff is still in storage so I've never seen it and I don't really know what she likes."

Gretchen scratched her head, "Oh gosh, I can't remember, but most of what she had was a mish mash of things people gave her, stuff from her old apartment, things she took from here and odds and ends, there really was no theme to it that I can remember and it's not like she ever spent much time in the kitchen! She was still working on fixing up the house and really hadn't had a chance to do any decorating. Anyway, if it's just the accessories, she can easily change it if she doesn't like it or you two get tired of it." She put a pile of wrapping paper on the table, "Here, pick one and I'll find a ribbon to match."

"Thank you. I like your idea, I think she would like the tomato theme, it's a clever idea and…," he was interrupted by the signal

from his com badge. He took it from his pocket and laid it on the table. "Chakotay here."

"Chakotay, this is Paris, they just found Kathryn!"

Both Gretchen and Chakotay spoke at once, excitedly firing questions at Paris: "Where did they find her? Is she alright? Where is she? Can we see her? What happened? When can

she come home…"

"She's very weak, but they say she's alright, just some minor injuries. They haven't brought her back yet, so I haven't seen her, but they're bringing her to Starfleet Medical, she should be here in a couple hours. The bad news is they found her in a stolen civilian shuttle, apparently heading for the Mutara Sector, and she refused to stop, so they had to fire on the shuttle to stop it and, when they boarded it, she came at them and resisted arrest, screaming that she had to go to the Mutara Sector and they couldn't stop her." Paris lowered the tone of his voice, "I guess I don't have to tell you this is not good, she's been placed under arrest and there's nothing I can do about it. I haven't spoken with her, they say she's pretty shaken up and incoherent and won't talk. As soon as she gets here I'll see her, damned if I'll let them stop me, and I'll advise her not to talk until her lawyers can be present, she has that right since she's been formally charged."

Gretchen sank into a chair. "Owen, why would Katie steal a shuttle, where was she going… and why?"

"I don't know, they said she was apparently heading for the Mutara Sector and had star charts for that region of space, the course laid in and was loaded with supplies, the same ones she bought Wednesday. The Mutara Sector is a good place to go if you want to disappear. As I said, I'll talk with her when she arrives and let you know. The ship was apparently stolen from a civilian space port just outside San Francisco this morning, but it wasn't reported missing until a few hours ago as it was awaiting repairs and nobody missed it. Gretchen, you should send her lawyer, they have to allow him to see her, this needs to be handled carefully. I'm almost certain they won't let either of you see her, so stay put and I'll contact you again after she gets here and I've had a chance to see her. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Chakotay reluctantly replied as he closed the link. He put his arms around Gretchen, "I'm so glad she's safe. Why she'd steal a ship and take off, I don't know, but I'm so glad she's safe."

"So am I. I'm sure there has to be a logical explanation, someone must have forced her to do it or something like that, Katie would never steal a ship and run off. Well, why don't you go tell the staff the good news and I'll go call her sister and her attorney. Do you think they'll let us see her?"

Chakotay put his arm around her shoulder as they walked through the house, "Honestly, Gretchen, I don't think so, that would be highly irregular as she's under arrest now, it's not the same thing as detention. Be careful what you say to Phoebe, your communications may still be monitored. Paris is her CO, so they should let him see her, but I doubt we can or even that they'll let her call. Don't worry, Paris will do all he can and maybe we can at least send her a note, if your lawyer would be willing to sneak it in."

"For what I pay him, you're damn right he'll take her a note! I'll go get a PADD and we can write her a letter as soon as I make my calls. Have T'Ana put coffee on and get out the brownies, I have a feeling this is going to be another long night."

It was a long night and T'Ana, Komn and even Stanak insisted on waiting with them in the study. Everyone was glad Kathryn had been found, however they were still concerned about what would happen to her. Starfleet had recalled all the security guards, so the house and grounds had returned to their normal state. Gretchen and Chakotay finished their letter to Kathryn and sent it to the lawyer's office as he had reluctantly agreed to sneak it to her.

Paris called around midnight and updated them. Kathryn was in a very depleted state from the virus, but her other injuries sustained when Starfleet stopped and boarded the shuttle were not serious, she just had minor bumps and bruises and was very dirty and disheveled. They would stabilize her overnight and Voyager's EMH would administer the serum he had developed the following afternoon. Pulaski had forbidden any interrogation that night and also said she was too sick for her lawyer to see her, however she did allow Paris see her briefly. He reported that she seemed very confused, claimed to have no recollection of leaving the hospital or anything after that and had no idea what she was doing on the shuttle or where she was going, she didn't even know what day it was. After his visit Pulaski had sedated her for the night and Paris promised he would call in the morning with another update but, for the time being, Starfleet Security would not allow her any calls or visitors.

The report the next morning was about the same, Kathryn was awake, but refusing to eat and still claimed she remembered nothing. Pulaski opted not to insert a feeding tube as the EMH was confident her appetite would return once he had administered the serum. Kathryn had now been turned over to the EMH's care and he immediately dictated that she was too ill for any sort of interrogation and would remain so for at least 72 hours minimum.

The EMH called just before eleven the next morning and seemed even more terse than usual and delivered an update that only addressed the most basic of medical facts. He told Chakotay that he needed another blood sample from him to make additional serum and ordered him to report as soon as possible. When Chakotay asked if he would be able to see Kathryn briefly, the EMH told him no most emphatically, that she was not permitted visitors. As Chakotay went to his room to change into his uniform, he took out a small piece of paper and wrote Kathryn a note, hoping that he might somehow get someone to slip it to her.

He beamed to Starfleet medical and reported to the EMH. The doctor seemed quite preoccupied and was not his usual overly chatty self as he ordered a poor nurse about who seemed to be able to do absolutely nothing right. Not satisfied with the piece of equipment she brought him, she sent her off in search of another, leaving them alone briefly.

The doctor took out his tricorder and started to scan Chakotay as he quickly whispered, "I couldn't tell you anything on the com link, I'm sure I'm being monitored, they don't trust me. She got pretty banged up when they stopped her shuttle, but Pulaski took care of that and I can cure the virus. She made a mess of digging her security implant out and the wound got infected and went untreated for so long she'll have a scar. One thing I can tell you is that somebody slapped the shit out of her, she had bruises all over, but they were about five days old, so she might have been kidnapped after all, but she says she doesn't remember anything." The doctor stepped away from the bio bed as a nurse entered, he gave her some orders and she again left the room. "Chakotay, I know as well as you do she didn't do this willingly and we'll find a way to prove it!"

Chakotay sat up on the bio-bed and started to speak, but the doctor silenced him by slamming him back down when the nurse returned with the piece of equipment he had asked for. He said something to her and she returned with a small cup and began straightening the doctor's instruments on the tray beside the bio-bed. He handed Chakotay the cup, "Commander, I need a urine sample, you may use the lavatory at the end of that corridor."

Chakotay got up and looked at him in confusion, "Doctor, I thought you told me you needed to take a blood sample?"

The EMH crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, "Who's the doctor here? Commander I need a urine sample, quit arguing and go into the lavatory at the end of the hall and pee in the cup, that's an order!"

"Yes, Doctor," Chakotay said as he scratched his head and took his little cup down the hall. When he opened the restroom door he saw that someone was already in there and instinctively quickly stepped back and shut the door as he muttered "sorry", however he immediately opened it again, stepped in and locked the door behind him. "Kathryn!" he exclaimed as he took her into his arms and hugged her.

She leaned against him and hugged him tightly as she needed his support to stand. "Oh, Chakotay, it's so good to see you! How are you? How is Mother?"

He sat on the toilet lid and held her on his lap, "We're fine, Kathryn, how are you? Oh gods have I missed you, we've been so worried! What happened Kathryn, are you all right?"

She started sobbing into his shoulder as she said, "I don't know, I honestly don't know, I remember being at the hospital and they came to get my roommate for her counseling session and then the nurse gave me my medication and I started reading and the next thing I remember is waking up here. I don't know, Chakotay, I give you my word I don't know, I have no idea what I was doing in that shuttle they say I was in, I don't remember any of it." She was interrupted by a faint tap on the door. "I have to go, the doctor could only sneak me out for a few minutes. You're supposed to stay here and wait a minute or two before you leave. Please, Chakotay, you have got to figure out what happened and get this cleared up, they'll send me to prison over this. Oh, give me a hug, I love you and tell Mom I love her too!"

He hugged her and slipped his note into the pocket of her robe and kissed her, "I love you too, Kathryn, and I'll figure out what happened and we'll get you cleared. Tell the EMH or Paris anything you can remember, it may come back to you and you can trust them." He helped her up and the EMH took her arm as she left the bathroom.

Chakotay waited a couple minutes, returned to the EMH and mouthed a thank you to him as he handed him the cup.

The EMH ordered him to lie back down as he dropped the cup into the trash, leaned over and whispered, "You're welcome and I didn't really need a urine sample and I don't need a blood sample either, but we have to make this look good." He stood back up and loudly announced, "Take off your jacket and roll up your sleeve, Commander. Nurse, please draw blood from this patient and have a chem profile, complete antibody analysis and a CBC with differential run at once!"

When she finished and left, the doctor noted that there were still others working in the area, so he again leaned down and whispered, "I don't know these people, I don't know who I can trust. Chakotay, where are you living?" He raised his voice to a normal level, "So, Commander, have you been experiencing any nausea, dyspepsia or diarrhea?"

They continued in this manner, alternating whispered conversation with the usual doctor patient conversation in a normal tone.

"Uh, no doctor, I've been fine! I'm staying with Kathryn's mother in Indiana, but don't come, they're probably watching you and maybe us too, Paris thinks Section 31 might be in on this. What the hell is dyspepsia?"

"Any dizziness, fainting spells or shortness of breath? Have you been exercising regularly? Acid indigestion. I think they're watching me too, but Admiral Paris is working on a way we can get there this evening without them knowing," he whispered as he patted his mobile emitter.

"No, Doctor, none of that and I have been getting a lot of exercise and eating well, but I've been having problems sleeping. Good, please keep us up to date, it would make Kathryn's mother feel a lot better to talk to you in person I'm sure, just be careful!"

"That's good, Commander. You have gained almost four kilos since your return, you may want to watch just how well you're eating, Sir. How is your respiratory system, have you experienced any coughing, nasal discharge or shortness of breath? "Hopefully I can come this evening and let you know how her treatment went, don't worry, I'm certain my serum will cure her and she'll be fine. I'm going to put her in isolation as a precaution, unnecessary really, but that will keep them away and I'll delay letting them interrogate her for as long as I can."

"Wow, I had no idea, I'll lay off the snacks! No, no coughing or anything like that, other than trouble sleeping I've been fine. What about her memory, Doctor? Why can't she remember anything, you said she was beaten, does she have a brain injury?"

Please take off your boot and roll up your pants leg, I want to examine that old injury to your tibia and fibula, is it still giving you problems? Complain about it so I can treat it and you have an excuse to come back, maybe I can arrange for you to see her again. Commander, please flex and rotate your knee and foot to show me your range of motion. No, no brain injury I can detect, I don't know why she can't remember anything, no traces of any drugs in her, everything looks normal other than the virus she has." The doctor flexed Chakotay's foot until his toes practically touched his calf. "Does that cause you any discomfort, Sir?"

"YEEEEES! It hurts like hell, Doctor! It's really been bothering me, especially recently, can't you do anything about it?"

"Well no wonder, you overextended your Achilles tendon." The EMH turned to the technician nearest him, "Corpsman, please bring me a tissue regenerator at once." The man quickly returned and handed the instrument to him. "You idiot, I said a tissue regenerator, not an osteo regenerator!" As the man went in search of the proper instrument, the doctor whispered, "That guy wouldn't know a hypospray from a hippopotamus, he's got to be a security plant watching me, so let's give him a show. Ask me about the captain loud enough for him to hear, but make it look good. Thank you, Corpsman, that's better." The doctor ran the instrument up and down Chakotay's leg, "Is that better, Commander?"

"Yes, Doctor, it doesn't hurt so bad now." He lowered his voice slightly, but still loud enough for the nearby corpsman to hear, "Doctor, how is Captain Janeway?"

"Commander, I am under strict orders not to discuss the captain! If you want any information, I suggest you contact Starfleet Security, for you'll get none from me, I follow orders and I would never violate orders or doctor-patient confidentiality regulations! Try to stay off your leg, take one of these tablets at bedtime if you have trouble sleeping and report back here on Monday for another treatment. Understood?"

Chakotay put his boot back on and stood, "Perfectly, Doctor, thank you."

When Chakotay returned home he didn't have his second foot in the door before Gretchen, T'Ana and Komn were all over him. "Please, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything." They all sat at the kitchen table as T'Ana served lemonade and he began, "The doctor arranged for me to see Kathryn in secret, but only for two or three minutes. He's trying to convince them that he's on their side and following orders to the letter so Security will trust him and maybe he can find out more and protect her better. She's pretty weak, but she's OK and she says she doesn't remember anything and she sends her love. The doctor couldn't tell me much, he can't find any reason for why she doesn't remember what happened. He was going to give her the serum for the virus right after I left, he's sure it will work and he'll keep them from questioning her for as long as he can. He's being watched, we probably all are as Paris told him he thinks Section 31 is investigating, but he doesn't know more, but they obviously suspect some kind of treason or something like that, nothing good if they're involved. All of you be careful, don't talk to anyone about Kathryn and assume that communications are being monitored, OK?" They all nodded. "The doctor said he and Paris would be here this evening and tell us more."

Gretchen was confused, "If they're watching him, why would he do that, won't that blow his cover so to speak? Are you sure he can be trusted, Chakotay?"

"Yes, I am absolutely sure we can trust him, he knows something happened, Kathryn didn't just up and leave and she isn't lying about not remembering. I don't know how they can get here without them finding out, there was no time to explain it." Chakotay took another sip of his lemonade and yawned.

Gretchen got up from the table, "Let me fix you a sandwich and then you're going upstairs and taking a nap and I'll have no argument about it." She gave him a hug and kissed him on the forehead. "I'm glad you got to see Katie, I'm sure that did wonders for her."

Chakotay took a shower and tried to take a nap, but sleep just wouldn't come to him. He finally took one of the sleeping pills the doctor gave him, but that didn't do any good, so he sat at his desk with his computer and tried to sort out the events of the past week, anything to come up with a hypothesis to explain Kathryn's disappearance. He had all the facts and details laid out, but there were so many gaps it just didn't make any sense.

Later that evening as Gretchen and Chakotay were sitting in the study reading, the doctor and Admiral Paris suddenly materialized in the center of the room and startled them.

Paris greeted them warmly as he explained, "Sorry to literally pop in unannounced like that, but it was the only way we could do it. I went home with the doctor's mobile emitter in my pocket and, thanks to my brilliant transporter whiz daughter in law and a civilian site to site cargo beaming company whose systems aren't as hack proof as they thought, we're here and the two guys in the bushes outside my house think I'm at home having dinner. I think we can take it as a given that we are all being watched and our communications monitored, so we need to be very careful. I feel certain the highest and most covert levels of Starfleet Security are in on this, but they must think I'm involved, so I'm being kept out of the loop. I don't know what they think is going on, but considering the possibility that a starship captain with as much classified and scientific knowledge from the Delta Quadrant as Kathryn has suddenly apparently escaped and took off, I can't say that I blame them for being so overly cautious and looking at us too."

Gretchen motioned to the sofa, "Thank you for coming, please sit, may I get you anything?"

Paris sat and opened his briefcase, "No, thank you, we can't stay long, they think the doctor took his program offline to run a self diagnostic, so I have to get him back soon."

Chakotay retrieved his computer from the desk and sat as he asked, "Doctor, how is Kathryn? Did the treatment for the virus work?"

"Yes, I administered it just after you left and it appears to be working well, however it will take her body some time to completely rid itself of the virus because she's so depleted. I'm going to keep her sedated until Monday morning, she was in such bad shape I did have to put in a feeding tube, but that will come out Monday as long as she will eat. I'm sure she will once the virus is gone, I'm almost certain they were wrong about her having an eating disorder, it was just the virus, that's the way it works, but it will probably take her another week at least to regain her strength. This is actually good news as I can keep them from questioning her or moving her until then. Pulaski is cooperating, however we can't do anything that would be too out of the ordinary as Starfleet Medical might question it."

"What about her memory?" Gretchen asked, "Why can't Katie remember anything?"

The doctor continued, "Quite frankly, Mrs. Janeway, I don't have the slightest idea. Every examination and test I have performed shows her brain is completely normal, she shows no signs of a head injury or brain disease and there were no drugs in her system other than slight traces of the ones they administered in Colorado that should have been there. There is no evidence of a mind meld, telepathic link, manipulation of engrams, insertion of some kind of device, genetic tampering, nothing out of the ordinary. I believe her when she says she can't remember, I'm certain she's not lying, but I'm afraid I can't offer any scientific evidence to back up her claim that she has no recollection of her recent actions. Captain Janeway is not insane or mentally ill and the problems Ehytr and Symot diagnosed were not severe enough to cause such significant aberrant behavior. The one thing I did find that does support the theory that she was abducted is that she had the remnants of bruises from being struck multiple times, especially her on her face. They were the type of bruises one gets from an open hand, not a closed fist or being struck by an object, and forensic analysis confirms they were received on the day she disappeared. She was not struck with great force, either because the person who did it was not capable of stronger blows or because they merely wished to cause her pain and not significant injury. She did have bruising indicative of trying to defend herself on her forearms. Captain Janeway did receive multiple minor injuries when they stopped her shuttle and took her into custody, however it was quite easy to differentiate between those injuries and the older ones."

"Thank you, Doctor," Paris said as he punched up a report on a PADD. "I have the forensics report on the shuttle they found her in. It was being stored in an out of the way area at the space port awaiting repairs and, unfortunately, that area is not monitored and security there is so lax most anyone could have taken it and flown off with it. All the supplies she bought on Wednesday were on it and the Mutara Sector star charts and so on, everything looks like she was going there to escape. The one thing that really strikes me as odd was that the shuttle was in for repairs and it was in such poor shape it's amazing she got as far as she did. Any first year cadet would have taken a look at the panel on that shuttle and known that it would have most likely broken down in a matter of hours and it makes no sense Kathryn would have stolen that ship since she knew it wouldn't go far, most of the other shuttles there would have been a better choice. If Kathryn wanted to steal a ship to go to the Mutara Sector, she would have damn well stolen a good one that would have gotten her there. Chakotay, I know you saw Kathryn, did she say anything to you that might help?"

"No, not really, and thank you again, Doctor, for arranging that. All she said was she couldn't remember anything, the last things she said she remembered were them taking her roommate to her counseling session and then the nurse coming in to give her some medication and she was reading, after that she remembers nothing until she woke up at Starfleet Medical. I'm sure she's not lying about that."

The doctor started scanning his PADD, "Wait a minute, Chakotay, you say she said she remembers a nurse gave her medication after her roommate left, are you sure that's what she said?"

"Yes, absolutely, why?"

"Well, I have all the records from Colorado right here and it says she received her medication at 0800 that morning, the usual time, but her roommate Lieutenant Chandrice Akamenides had her counseling session at 1000, and there's no record of Captain Janeway being administered any medication that morning other than what she got at 0800. If she did receive medication at 1000, it wasn't authorized and it probably wasn't a nurse that gave it to her!"

"Let me see that!" Paris exclaimed as he took the PADD from the EMH. "Kathryn told me the same exact thing, a nurse gave her medication after her roommate left. Good work, Doctor, this may be the break we need! This should convince them that someone drugged Katie and then kidnapped her. Come on, Doctor, lets beam back to my house and get back to Starfleet and I'll take this to Security right away.

"Well," Paris said as he stood, "I had better get the doctor back before they miss him. Chakotay, call Tom and ask if you can borrow his truck on Monday, that's the signal to B'Elanna to beam us back."

As Chakotay went to call Tom, Gretchen hugged Paris and the doctor, "Thank you so much for coming, I feel so much better knowing that Katie will be all right and I'm sure we'll find out what really happened." She grabbed the plate of brownies off the coffee table and insisted that they have some. The doctor politely refused, reminding her that he was a hologram. Paris took a brownie and Chakotay grabbed one as he returned from making the call to Tom.

The EMH snatched the brownie from him, threw it back on the plate and slapped his hand, "Lay off the brownies Commander Chubby, I wasn't kidding about those four kilos!"

"Thanks a lot!" Chakotay huffed, "Thanks again for coming and please let us know if there are any developments." The Doctor and Paris nodded as they shimmered away.

There were no significant developments over the weekend. Kathryn continued to respond to the doctor's treatment and her body was producing antibodies on its own to slowly rid itself of the Delta Quadrant virus. Since she was sedated, Security was content to cool their heels for the time being and not push to interrogate her.

Chakotay returned to Starfleet for his appointment with the EMH on Monday morning, however their conversation was brief as they could only manage to be alone for a short time. The doctor explained that Kathryn was awake, but still somewhat disoriented and lethargic, however he was confident that, in time, she would still make a full recovery. Unfortunately they had placed a new security monitor implant in her which did not allow her to leave her room without authorization and they had placed a guard at her door as well, so it was impossible for the doctor to arrange for Chakotay to see her. Chakotay gave the doctor a note for Kathryn which he promised he would slip to her at his earliest opportunity. It was a simple note, just four words: "I believe in you."

When Chakotay left he went to Paris' home to borrow Tom's truck, so as not to arouse suspicion. He visited with Tom, B'Elanna and the baby for a while and, sensing that B'Elanna needed a respite from her very fussy teething daughter, convinced Tom to baby sit so B'Elanna could go out for lunch and to help buy some lumber afterwards.

As they were unloading the lumber and carrying it to Kathryn's back yard, B'Elanna asked, "What's all this lumber for? We don't need it for the deck, not this much anyhow."

"I know," Chakotay said as he hefted a stack of boards onto his shoulder, "But it might have aroused suspicion if I'd borrowed the truck and not used it for something, you know we're probably being watched. It's nice lumber, I'm sure we'll think of something. They're starting on installing the enviro system tomorrow, can you be here?"

"You bet I'll be here, I want that job done right and those guys are a bunch of slackers, they wouldn't last a day if they worked for me! If I push them, I bet they can get it done by the end of the week. When we're done unloading, why don't you give me a hand with the windows? Most of them don't work too well, they stick, but I bet we can fix them easily enough. Wouldn't it be better to replace the glass with transparent aluminum?"

Chakotay grinned, "Better, yes, but they didn't have transparent aluminum back when this house was built and we want to keep it authentic, remember?"

B'Elanna laughed, "If you want to make this place authentic, I hope you two plan on keeping a pet dinosaur in the backyard! I know, you can use the lumber to build 'Dino' a dinosaur house!"

"I don't know about that, B'E, but maybe Kathryn would like to have a dog some day? She had one before, she showed me pictures of it, she loves dogs. OK, let's check out the windows and I'm sure we'll find more problems and have to make another trip to the hardware store. You know how fancy old houses have names? Well, I think we should name this house Pandora's Box!"

"Or Janeway's Folly!" B'Elanna added.

That evening Gretchen and Chakotay went to work on Kathryn's room. Gretchen had decided that her bathroom had to be redone as well and, since Kathryn loved it so well, she reluctantly decided to do it in beige, with blue accents to compliment her bedroom. The fixtures already in place would do, however the walls would have to be painted and new towels, rugs and decorative accessories purchased. It was a lot to get done, but they were confident they could accomplish everything if they planned carefully and spent all their free time on the project.

As Gretchen sat with her PADD and made a shopping list for the bathroom, she reminded Chakotay, "Don't forget to pick up some beige paint tomorrow and whatever else we need to paint the bathroom, fix those loose tiles and put up more shelves."

He sat down his brush and took a break, "No problem, I can pick it up in San Francisco, I need to go to the hardware store anyhow to get some fixtures for her closets, B'Elanna said she'd like those organizer things better than what's in there now, seeing as she has a ton of clothes. What color of beige?"

Gretchen didn't look up from her PADD, "Just beige, Chakotay, plain old ordinary bland boring beige."

He went over and sat beside her and grinned, "I know better than that, there's no such thing as plain old beige! She's got lots of beige stuff in her closet, why don't you pick out something that's the color you want and I'll have them match it?"

She put down her PADD and went to the closet, "Well, all right, I guess that's a good idea. Look at all these drab things she has, I should throw half of this out, too much beige, she dresses like a woman twice her age, I swear! Chakotay, can you please grab that suitcase and put it on the bed?"

He picked it up and noticed it was full of clothes. "Gretchen, I don't think Kathryn will have room for all these things and they may not even let us send her anything."

"Just sit it on the bed, that's the stuff she sent back from Colorado she didn't have room for, I'm going to put it away. I had Komn carry it up here and put it in her closet and I forgot about it. You are going to put a larger closet in her bedroom in San Francisco, aren't you?" She flashed him a crooked smile, "Unless you plan to keep your clothes in the garage!"

"Well, I do have a lot of extra lumber I was wondering what to do with, so I suppose I could bump it out and enlarge it and maybe add a storage shed. I'm not going to make any assumptions about sharing a closet with Kathryn, but if she'd like a bigger closet, then that's what she'll get!"

Chakotay went back to painting and Gretchen unpacked the suitcase, put the contents away and put a few things into a smaller bag to hopefully take to or at least send to Kathryn the next morning. She picked up a paintbrush, "Where do you want me to paint?" He pointed to an area by the door. "OK. Oh, Katie's computer was in there and there was a note on it that said it wasn't working right and kept crashing and could you please take a look at it for her."

"OK, I have a tricorder, I'll run a diagnostic on it as soon as I can get around to it, just set it aside for now so we don't get paint on it."

The next evening a call from the EMH interrupted dinner. He was so excited and spoke so rapidly it was hard to follow him. "I have good news! You remember I said there were no traces of any unauthorized drugs in the captain's body when she arrived here?" He didn't give them time to reply. "Well, I got to thinking, many drugs only stay in the system short term and can be completely undetectable after a few hours. By Starfleet's calculation, Captain Janeway stole the shuttle somewhere around 0900 and didn't arrive here until just after midnight, so that means that anything that someone gave her would have had more than fifteen hours to clear her system. Suddenly it occurred to me, the blood on the towel and the knife from when she dug out her implant, that's blood presumably from the same time she stopped remembering things! Starfleet forensics had analyzed that blood of course, but they only analyzed it to confirm that it was hers. I told them I needed a sample of it to study the progression of the virus and had them send me some and I ran a full tox screen and Captain Janeway was full of Obliganor!"

Gretchen leaned into the screen, "Obliganor, what on Earth is that?"

"Not Earth, Mrs. Janeway, Romulus! It's a memory suppressant, developed years ago by the Tal Shiar and illegal in the Federation of course, but it works to both suppress memories and make the user docile and easy to handle, they do whatever you tell them to and don't remember a thing afterwards, obviously something useful for the Tal Shiar. The problem with the stuff is that it's only effective short term, it wears off in twelve to sixteen hours, half that time in Romulans, and has to be re-administered. Obviously that's what she was given when she says the nurse gave her medication after her roommate left. As long as they kept giving it to her, she wouldn't remember anything, but by time she got here the effects of her last dose had worn off as it was no longer in her system."

Chakotay was confused, "So, Doctor, are you saying that the Romulans abducted her?"

"Not necessarily, Chakotay, in fact most likely not as the Romulans have much more effective drugs for that purpose now and no longer use it, but like any drug that has illicit uses, it can no doubt be had on the black market. Starfleet has no use for such a drug of course, so there was none at the psych unit in Colorado, therefore it couldn't have been accidentally administered to her. I believe this is irrefutable proof someone drugged Captain Janeway and abducted her and she was not responsible for her actions and very honestly does not remember them."

"Have you told Paris?" Chakotay asked.

"Of course, he agrees and said he was going to get the brass out of bed and beat them over the head with it until they agree with him. I'm quite confident this evidence will be enough to exonerate the captain, the effects of the drug are quite well documented and there is no doubt that it was administered to her, the only questions that remain are who did it and why."

Gretchen could hardly contain herself, "Oh, thank you, Doctor, thank you so much! How is Katie?"

"She's doing quite well, actually, eating solid food and getting stronger, she should be able to get out of bed and walk around a bit by tomorrow. Assuming Starfleet clears her, I should be able to release her in a couple more days."

Gretchen was so thrilled she ran to the kitchen to tell T'Ana and Komn. One thing bore heavily on Chakotay's mind and he finally asked, "Doctor, is there any way Kathryn will regain her memory, is there something you can give her to counteract the drug or will it eventually wear off?"

"No, there's no known way to restore those memories, I researched it thoroughly and I think that's actually a blessing as I'm sure it's nothing she would want to remember."

Chakotay nodded in agreement, "Good, well thank you again, Doctor, you don't know how much this means to Kathryn's mother and me."

"Actually, I believe I do. Goodnight, Chakotay, I'll call you with an update tomorrow and let you know as soon as Starfleet clears her for visitors. Oh, I almost forgot, the captain gave me a note to give to you, would you like me to beam it over or shall I read it to you?"

"You can go ahead and read it, Doctor."

He unfolded the tiny piece of paper and read: "I believe in you too," and smiled sweetly as he closed the link.

The next morning Gretchen had barely poured a cup of coffee before she couldn't contain herself and started insisting that she should beam to Starfleet and start hitting people over the head herself. Chakotay talked her out of it and promised that he would go and speak to Paris when the enviro systems crew took their lunch break, if they had not heard from him by then. She finally agreed that this would be best and resolved to dedicate herself to working on Kathryn's bedroom as she was sure she would be coming home soon.

When Chakotay arrived at Starfleet, Paris had an office full of people, so he had to wait. He could occasionally hear a raised voice coming from the office, which he didn't take as a good sign. The doors finally hissed open and a pack of very big brass, led by the C in C himself, stormed out and went their separate ways, not even noticing him. Paris' aide nodded, so he went in and it only took one glance to tell that Admiral Paris had no doubt been there at his desk all night. Chakotay didn't feel much like smiling, but he plastered on his best fake smile for the admiral's sake and said, "Good morning, Sir!"

He barely glanced up and looked like he was ready to throw something, but when he saw it was Chakotay, his expression softened, "Ah, good morning, a friendly face at last! Have a seat, I was just about to call you, I have good news and bad. I guess you saw who was just here?" Chakotay nodded. "Well, the good news is they believe that she was drugged and kidnapped, the bad news is they are now very concerned that whoever did it used her to extract strategic scientific, technological and military information."

Chakotay rubbed his chin and thought, "Well, I suppose that's a possibility, but she has been on home on detention since she got back and out of the loop, what strategic information about Starfleet could she possibly have? Anything she knows is seven years old."

"Exactly!" Paris replied, "However she certainly has lots of fresh Delta Quadrant information in her head and that may be what they were after. One of those eggheads was the Surgeon General and she was well versed about that Obliganor stuff and says it's so powerful she would have told them anything, but she also said Katie's lack of memory is genuine and she couldn't be held legally responsible for anything she did while under its effects. Apparently it's not that hard to get a hold of if you know where to look and have enough money, the Ferengi and Orions are known to deal in it, among others."

"So, now we're back to the Ferengi again? Do they think there's any link between that Ferengi they arrested over the ransom demand and the drug and where they found her?"

"It's a possibility they haven't dismissed, but he has a solid alibi for when she was kidnapped, so he didn't do it personally and, other than illegal gambling, there's no evidence the man is involved in anything of consequence. He is on Earth illegally, but all their investigation has revealed is that he sponged off his sister and various friends and relatives, ran illegal dabo games to make a marginal living and was not connected to illegal drugs or any other criminal activity, and there's not even the slightest evidence Tok and his wife are involved in anything. Most of them are of the opinion that he merely seized an opportunity to make a lot of money when he overheard she was missing. He has confessed all his crimes, down to hacking to make free interplanetary calls on his com link and driving without a license, so I think he's been all but eliminated as a suspect."

Chakotay leaned forward in his chair, "Are they even looking at this objectively, Sir? It doesn't take a Vulcan to see that their intention was to discredit and disgrace her, to ruin her career, to make it look like she was merely escaping to avoid prosecution, because she was allegedly guilty of violating regs in the Delta Quadrant. She was already up on charges for that, what's the point? If someone just wanted information, why would they go to the trouble to frame her? Wouldn't they just keep her and keep getting information from her or get rid of her when they thought they had it all? Yeah, they gave that drug to her, stuck her in a shuttle and told her to fly it to the Mutara Sector, but surely they would have known that it would wear off eventually and she'd come to her senses and either stop or be stopped. I think this had nothing to do with getting information out of her, I think it was personal, haven't they even considered that?"

"Of course," Paris replied, "I've been trying to shove it up their exhaust manifolds all night! One problem is there are no suspects, I can't think of anyone who would have a reason to do this to Kathryn and neither can they, can you?"

"No, Sir, I can't. I know she still has to face her disciplinary hearing and that's another matter, but the EMH said she would be well enough to go home soon. Are they going to drop the escape charges and release her?"

Paris clasped his hands and placed his chin on them, "They said they'd take it under advisement… and you know as well as I do that's 'Fleetspeak for they don't know what the hell to do."

Chakotay stood and loudly pushed his chair back, "Great! So while the C in C picks his nose, poor Kathryn has to lie chained to a bed, still worried they're going to send her to prison and her career and reputation are ruined? That's just great!"

"Sit back down, Chakotay, and calm down. I'm going to call her attorneys and JAG and have them push that the escape charges be dropped. There's no evidence she willingly escaped nor that she's a flight or security risk, I'm sure they'll come to their senses and let her go home, although she'll probably still be on home detention as before, given the magnitude of charges relating to Voyager, that's SOP. Trust me, I'll get this cleared up, the brass just has egg on their faces and they want to figure out how to get it off gracefully. Most of them are neutral and she does have some friends in high places, but as you well know there's a small but influential contingent that wants to rip her pips off one by one and then have her walk the plank. I can see by your clothes you must have been working on Katie's house, so go back to work and let me take care of this. I give you my word, I'm not leaving this building until I have it cleared up."

Chakotay rose from his chair, "Yes, Sir, I'm sorry if I lost my temper, I don't often do that, I apologize."

Paris waved his hand, "No need, quite understandable. I know it's hard to think of it now, but this may ultimately be a blessing in disguise as they may go easier on Katie at her disciplinary hearing considering this mess and their rush to judgment. Some of the issues with the temporal prime directive are pretty dicey, but somehow I think they will be more lenient now to make amends and she may just get off with a symbolic slap on the wrist. Now get out of here, you have a house to renovate and I expect to find everything ship shape next time I visit!"

Chakotay snapped to attention and smiled, "Yes, Sir! …only you might want to wait a month or two before you make that tour of inspection!"

Paris smiled and looked relaxed for the first time since Chakotay had been there. "You know, that son of mine seems to think I'm a complete dunsel with a hammer, I might just have to make a bet with him and stop by one day and prove him wrong!"

Chakotay grinned and turned to leave, "I hope so, Admiral, if there's one thing I enjoy doing, it's winning a bet from your son!"

The call from Paris finally came late that evening that Starfleet had dropped all charges relating to Kathryn's so called escape from the hospital in Colorado. She still had to face her disciplinary hearing of course, but would do so with the apologies of Starfleet. Counselor Symot had been to see her and ordered that she must continue to see him until he felt her problems had been resolved to his satisfaction, but she could do so on an out patient basis. The EMH was pleased with her progress and would release her on Monday morning, assuming that she continued to recover well, and she could now have visitors. As anticipated, her house arrest would continue until her disciplinary hearing, which had been set for thirty days from her release from Starfleet Medical. Gretchen and Chakotay thanked Paris most wholeheartedly and told him to go home for some much deserved rest.

Gretchen was so excited, "Let's call Katie!", but Chakotay had to stop her by reminding her of the time and that Kathryn was no doubt already asleep. She finally relented, with his promise that they would go see her as soon as visiting hours started, 1000 hours. She sat and made calls to the family as Chakotay went upstairs and did some more painting, took a swim and then turned in early, sleeping well for the first time in more than a week.

They went to visit Kathryn the next morning and found her to be in good spirits and very excited to be going home soon. When they brought her lunch tray she ate almost half of it and soon dozed off as she was still very weak. They kissed her and left, confident that she would be home soon.

Gretchen took a break from her spackling, "Chakotay, did you get a chance to look at Katie's computer yet?"

No, I haven't gotten around to it, but I'll take a look as soon as I finish between these windows, I could use a break. Once it's dry here we could go ahead and hang the drapes on these windows if you want. Did she ask you for her computer today?

"No, but if you get it fixed we can take it to her tomorrow, I'm sure she'd like to have it there, she probably just forgot about it. It's the same one she had when she left, I suppose I should get her a new computer, I can get her a good one at a discount through the university. I know Starfleet will issue her a new one, but she likes to have her own computer for personal things."

When he was finished what he was working on, Chakotay washed up, went to his room and returned with his tricorder to take a look at Kathryn's computer. He tinkered with it for a minute and asked Gretchen, "She has it password protected, so I can't start it up to see what's wrong, do you know what her password is?"

She put down her tools and sat beside him and scratched her head, "Oh, no, I don't know. Try some of her Starfleet passwords, maybe she used the same one." He tried all the ones he knew, to no avail. "Can't you hack it, you know how to do that, don't you?"

He grinned as he tried any password he could think of that she might have used, "No, hacking was more Kathryn's specialty, I'm afraid… and she's pretty good at it!

"I know, try your name!" The computer replied with an insolent bleep of defeat. "Try mine… try Indiana…. Bloomington… Phoebe… Voyager…" Gretchen went on naming anything she could think of, knowing Kathryn probably used something familiar for a password, but none of them worked.

Chakotay tried a few ideas, to no avail. Suddenly he got an idea and asked, "What was the name of Kathryn's dog?"

"Molly."

"Nope." He typed in something else and the computer merrily chirped as the screen came to life. "It was coffee! Figures, I should have tried that first!" They both had a good laugh as Chakotay took his tricorder and scanned the computer. It crashed before he had gotten very far. "Well, I see what the problem is and I think I can fix it." He worked with it for a few minutes and was satisfied that he had fixed it. "I think it's OK now, just a little glitch, this thing is so old it's a wonder it works at all. If you get her a new one, I'll transfer everything to it for her, this one won't work much longer." In checking it out Chakotay brought up the screen with her messages and scrolled through it before he went on to something else to make sure all the programs were working properly.

Gretchen grabbed his hand, "Chakotay, go back to the messages!" He did and she sat the computer on her lap and scrolled through them again. "Look, she has messages from Mark Johnson, but she didn't open any of them."

He looked at her with concern, "Do you think we should just delete them? Maybe that would be best, they might just upset her."

Gretchen mulled it over and finally decided, "No, I'm going to read them, I know it's invading her privacy, but I just somehow feel like I should. If they're that bad, I'll delete them."

Chakotay didn't think reading them was such a good idea, so he went back to his painting and said, "OK, if you have any trouble with the computer, let me know."

Gretchen read all of them and sat the computer aside. "Chakotay, the first three were let's get back together love letters he wrote after he was here, but in the last one he said his wife had found the first three he sent and confronted him. He told her what happened and she flew into a jealous rage and left him and the kids. He also said, since she hadn't replied to any of his previous messages, he knew she didn't feel the same way and he apologized. Apparently he must have heard about you from somewhere as he says he heard she had a fiancé from Starfleet and he hopes she'd be happy with him."

"Chakotay stopped working and turned to face her, "Kathryn was very concerned that might happen if his wife found out, I think it may be best if you just deleted them. There's no need for Kathryn to feel any more guilty than she already does, she needs to put this behind her. It's up to you, but I think that would be best."

"I agree." Gretchen scrolled through the rest of Kathryn's messages to be sure there were no more from Mark. Suddenly she gasped, "Chakotay, come here, look at this!" He put down his brush and sat beside her as he wiped his hands on a rag. "This is from Carla, Mark's wife, it's so vile I can hardly read it… you bitch, you ruined my marriage… I'll get back at you if it's the last thing I do, you slut, you… I'm not even going to read that word… I'll take you down and ruin you, you think you can get away with this?…" She put the computer aside, "Chakotay, do you think?"

He picked it up and read the entire message for himself, "Well, I think this is something we need to pass on to Starfleet Security, it may just be irrational ranting and raving, but this certainly is someone who had a motive to frame Kathryn. What do you know about this woman, Carla Johnson? Would she actually do something like this, would she know how? Kathryn disappeared from the hospital a few days after she sent the message."

"Well, I don't know, I've never met the woman. Mark's parents still live in Bloomington and I did see Mark and Carla across the room at a social even with them a year or two ago, but I didn't speak to them, all I remember was thinking how much she looked like a slightly taller, more buxom, brunette Kathryn and wondered if that's why he married her. He met her at work as I recall, but I don't know anything about her other than that."

"Well, Gretchen, why don't we discuss it with Admiral Paris? The least they could do is discretely look into her, see if they can account for her whereabouts for the last week, that sort of thing. There may be nothing to it and it's just a coincidence, but better to check it out."

"All right, but whatever we do, Katie is not to ever see that message! You go talk to Owen and I'm going to keep working to calm my nerves down."

Chakotay returned in a few minutes and said that Paris would check into it and let them know tomorrow and they went back to their work.

"When Chakotay had not heard anything from Paris by noon the next day, he left Harry Kim in charge at Kathryn's house and went to Starfleet to speak to Admiral Paris in person. Paris gave him an exasperated look, tossed his PADD onto a huge pile of others on the desk and suggested they take a walk.

"Well?" Chakotay asked.

"I called them, sent them the message and asked them to check out Carla Johnson. The big cheese herself, Commodore Pereira at SCIS, called me and said that Carla Johnson has no criminal record, no connections to Starfleet, is an upstanding citizen, member of the PTA, probably goes to church every Sunday and, in short, is a paragon of virtue. She said she was at the Bayview Country Club having a tennis lesson like she does every weekday morning the morning that Kathryn disappeared and claims she's never even met Kathryn. And, before you ask, yes they checked it out, and the tennis pro says she was there. Pereira accused me of wasting her time and grasping at straws, thinking that some socialite soccer mom from suburbia had anything to do with Kathryn's disappearance. She said that she had more important things to do than investigate a lover's quarrel and she actually had the gall to suggest that I should have a talk with Janeway and tell her to keep her pants zipped, it was all I could do to keep my temper, my tongue is still bleeding. They may have other more viable suspects, but, if they do, she didn't share that information with me."

Chakotay stopped walking as his jaw dropped. "Well, I guess that settles that, but I wonder how thoroughly they checked her out? Wonderful outstanding citizens do commit crimes too, especially crimes of passion. Admiral, please keep this between us, but Kathryn was with her husband a few days after she got home and the woman found out about it, that part is true."

"I see, but, Chakotay, I'm sure they looked into it, they want to get to the bottom of this as much as we do, especially if someone got classified information out of her. Everyone agrees now she was kidnapped, but it doesn't look like the Johnson woman had anything to do with it and there's only so much they can do with civilians, especially ones from prominent families with lots of lawyers who love to sue people. Starfleet wants to keep a lid on this and you know as well as I do what a field day the press would have if this leaks out. Go on back to work and cool off and I'll do the same and I'll let you know as soon as I have any more information." Chakotay nodded and walked away.

When Chakotay got home the first thing Gretchen asked about was Carla Johnson and Chakotay told her that they had checked and it didn't appear that she was involved.

"Are they sure?" Gretchen asked. "When I got done at the mall getting the things for Katie's bathroom, I went to the best place in Bloomington for information and got an earful about Adele Johnson's daughter-in-law Carla."

Chakotay was mystified, "Where did you go?"

Gretchen patted his cheek, "You men are so clueless, aren't you? To my hairdresser of course, Adele goes to the same one I do and, if you tip her well, the woman is a walking data base of gossip. Well, she told me Adele doesn't think much of Carla, she and Mark have been separated before, and she thinks Carla gets around, if you know what I mean. She said Adele said Carla and Mark had a terrible fight just after Christmas because she doesn't think her grandson looks too much like Mark and she wanted Mark to have DNA testing done to see if he's the real father, she has her doubts! Oh, and those aren't Carla's real breasts either and the reason Adele looks so good is because she's had a few nips and tucks herself."

Chakotay was flabbergasted, "And you found out all this at a beauty salon?"

"It's a day spa, Dear. Now let's go upstairs and I'll show you all the things I got for Katie's bathroom. Did you get the beige paint?"

"Yes, Ma'am. If you don't mind if I skip tea, I'll start in on it right away so I can probably get it finished tonight.

"All right, let me tell T'Ana and I'll skip tea too and, if you can move the furniture out of the way, I'll start in on the alcove. I tried to find Komn to help me earlier, but he's quite good at disappearing sometimes. I really want Katie's room to be finished when she gets home, oh, she's going to love it!"

"I know she will and I promise you it will be ready, but not if we don't get up there and get going!"

They went upstairs and Gretchen approved of the paint color, so Chakotay started clearing things out of the bathroom so he could paint. Gretchen packed up the old things they wouldn't be putting back so she could give them away and started in on painting as well.

Chakotay suddenly ran from the bathroom, "Gretchen, I've got to call the EMH, what you said, about DNA, that may be the answer!"

She ran behind him as fast as she could, "What do you mean DNA, what do you care who the kid's father is?"

He stopped and held her shoulders, "No, Gretchen, DNA, remember, the clerk at the store where Kathryn supposedly bought those supplies said the woman looked a lot like Kathryn, but he couldn't positively say it was her when they showed him her picture. What if it wasn't her, what if it was someone, maybe Carla Johnson, wearing her uniform? You said she looks a lot like Kathryn, didn't you? Enough that maybe it was her?"

"Well, yes, she does look a lot like Katie and, if she had the right color hair, perhaps?"

"Well, if she wore Kathryn's uniform, maybe it still has her DNA on it? Kathryn didn't send it home, well, I don't even know if she was wearing it when they found her, but it's worth checking out!"

"Yes, oh yes!" Gretchen exclaimed.

Chakotay called the EMH and asked, "Doctor, what was Kathryn wearing when they brought her in?"

He thought for a moment, "I believe she was wearing her uniform, but she wasn't cooperating and we had to cut it off her so we could treat her injuries, why? Starfleet will replace it of course."

"Where is it now?"

"Well, they would have inventoried all her clothing and personal effects and placed it into secure storage until she's released, per procedures. Why are you asking, did she lose something?"

"No, but we might just have found something! Can you please find it and scan it for DNA to see if anyone else wore it? We think the woman who purchased those supplies wasn't Kathryn, it was someone wearing her uniform pretending to be her. If so, maybe the other woman's DNA would be on Kathryn's uniform."

"I see, interesting hypothesis. I'll retrieve it and perform a forensic analysis at once. It shouldn't take long, I'll call as soon as I have the results."

"Thank you, Doctor," Gretchen and Chakotay replied together.

They sat and nervously waited for the doctor's call. Gretchen wanted to contact Paris, but Chakotay thought it better to wait until they heard back from the doctor and she finally agreed. When his call finally came they practically fought one another to see who could get there first.

The EMH was smiling, "There was human female DNA on the clothing besides the captain's, but I checked it against the Starfleet database and didn't get a match." He held her uniform up so that they could see it. "As you can see, it's pretty soiled and it looks like she'd been wearing it for several days. I could send it to forensics, they can document the DNA and maybe the dirt on it might yield some clues, but I don't have the facilities or expertise to perform that kind of analysis here. They would also have access to civilian DNA databases, which I don't. Would you like me to send it to them?"

"Please," Chakotay replied, "but could you advise Paris first so he can tell you to whom to direct it? It seems some of them aren't taking this too seriously."

"Of course. They don't seem to take me too seriously either, so if I have any problems, I'll sic Pulaski on them, everyone's afraid of her. I'm sure Admiral Paris will contact you as soon as he has any news. You'll be happy to hear that Captain Janeway took a walk this afternoon and I'm very pleased with her progress. They should be moving her to a better room tomorrow, so check at the desk to find her."

Gretchen leaned into the screen, "Thank you, Doctor. She can still come home on Monday, right? Will she need any special food or anything like that? Should I hire a private nurse? I want to make sure I'm ready for her, I've already arranged to take the week off from work."

"Relax, Mrs. Janeway, unless there are unexpected complications, she will be able to come home. I'll send all the instructions you need with her, she won't need a nurse and she'll be able to eat normal food, with a few restrictions. She'll need a lot of rest, of course, and she should start light exercise to regain her muscle strength. Please don't worry, I'm taking good care of her, you just be sure you're not getting so worried you forget to take good care of yourself and end up in my sick bay! EMH out."

"Doctor!" Chakotay caught him before he cut the link, "Was she wearing any jewelry?"

He checked the inventory list of her personal effects before answering, "Just her watch."

"She didn't have a necklace on then?"

"No, no necklace, Chakotay, and I just examined her a little while ago and had her open the top of her gown so I could try to clean up the scar from where she removed her implant, and she wasn't wearing a necklace, I would have noticed. Do you want me to ask her about it?"

"No, please don't, she'd be upset to know it was missing and she may not have even had it on, we're not sure. OK, Doctor, thanks for checking on the DNA, maybe forensics will turn up something. We'll see you tomorrow morning when we visit Kathryn, goodbye." Chakotay sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Gretchen, I wonder if she even had her necklace on when she was kidnapped? We're not supposed to wear jewelry beyond watches and wedding rings while in uniform, but most everyone does as long as it doesn't show. I know she had it with her in Colorado, I remember seeing it on her."

"So do I. Katie doesn't normally wear jewelry under her uniform, but that necklace was so special to her I doubt she took it off when they made her put her uniform on. I'll go call the hospital in Colorado and have her things beamed back, we can look through them and see if it's there."

They sorted through everything when it arrived, but couldn't find the necklace. Chakotay sat down and sighed, "I guess maybe she lost it or whoever kidnapped her must have stolen it, it was gold and it was expensive. I'll go call the store where I got it and see if they have another one."

"Good idea." Gretchen sat and rested for a few minutes then started putting away all the things that had been beamed back from Colorado. When Chakotay returned she asked, "Did you have any luck? Do they have another?"

"No, I talked to the same lady that was there when I bought it and she remembered it, but she said some local artisan makes those fruit and vegetable pendants and the tomato I bought was the only one. She's going to call him and see if they can get another one. Maybe if I can get it in time, I can put it with her watch when they return it to her and she'll never know it was stolen?"

"I hope so, Dear, Katie really did love that necklace! Well, let's get back to work, this room has to be ready soon, I won't have my daughter coming home to a mess!"

It was less than an hour before Admiral Paris called with the report from Starfleet Forensics. "Chakotay, SCIS says there is DNA from Kathryn and an unknown female Human on the uniform as well as a small amount of Kathryn's blood, from a nosebleed most likely they say, and from when she bumped her head when they stopped her shuttle. There was also dirt, however it was consistent with the common soil in the bay area, so useless as she could have gotten it anywhere. They found various fibers, pollens and such, but all of them common, could have come from a multitude of sources and would only be significant is they had something to match them too. In short, the only conclusions they could draw is someone else wore her uniform and she probably never left the San Francisco area."

"What about the DNA, Sir, it wasn't a match to Carla Johnson?"

"It wasn't a match to anyone in the system and, yes, I asked, and the Johnson woman does not have her DNA on file… and neither do millions of other people who chose not to volunteer it for the DNA database. I braved life and limb and called Commodore Pereira and she was even more annoyed this time and said it would take a warrant to get a DNA sample from her and Starfleet does not have enough evidence for probable cause to get a warrant and she is not considered a suspect, end of story."

"Well, I still think she's wrong, Pereira may be one of those that has it in for Kathryn."

"No, Chakotay, I don't think so at all. The woman is a bitch, but solving this case would be a major coup for her and her people, I am sure they are doing all they can. It's not every day a neo-celebrity Starfleet captain gets kidnapped, this is big and I'm sure they're all scrambling to find out who did it as we could have a major breach of classified information on our hands. If I hear anything new, I will let you know, but please drop the Johnson woman, I'm satisfied she didn't do it. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir!" Chakotay reluctantly replied.

Gretchen stood up and put her hands on her hips, "Well, I guess that settles that!"

"I'm not so sure. My gut still tells me she had something to do with it. I'll give it some thought, maybe there's something that's been overlooked. Well, I don't know about you, but I could use something cold to drink before we get back to work, lets go raid the galley!"

The next day Chakotay got up early, went to Kathryn's house and took out his frustrations on a concrete retaining wall in the back yard that had to be removed to make way for the new deck. As he was tossing the chunks in the dumpster, Tom arrived and started helping him.

"Chak, man you really busted this thing up more than you had to, remind me not to get on your bad side!"

"Very funny, you know I don't have a bad side, Tom! When we get finished, help me carry a bunch of that lumber around to the side, I'm going to do a bump out and enlarge the master bedroom closet and then add on a storage shed. That shed she has here now is a lost cause and isn't worth repairing. The next time we have someone here to help who is all thumbs, tell them to tear down the old shed and pitch it in the dumpster."

"Will do, should be a perfect job for the Delaneys, they're both better at busting up stuff than fixing it. Why are you enlarging the closet, it's pretty big already, much bigger than mine at home."

"Well, her mother thinks she needs a bigger closet and, trust me, Kathryn has a lot of clothes!"

Tom heaved a chunk of concrete in the dumpster and laughed, "So does B'Elanna and she keeps going shopping for more and we won't even get into my daughter and her wardrobe that she grows out of every two weeks! Why is it women need so many clothes?"

Chakotay shook his head, "Probably the same reason why the Earth revolves around the sun. I drew up plans for the closet and shed last night, let me go get them and see what you think."

Tom approved of the plans, so they started in on the new closet and shed and made good progress until Chakotay hit his thumb with the hammer for the third time. Tom laughed at him and said, "Do you have a death wish or what? You must have forgotten to bring your mind today or did you leave it someplace back in the Delta Quadrant? C'mon, lets knock off early and go get some lunch, my treat. Vorik is here, we can leave him in charge of the enviro guys, he's almost as much of a tyrant as B'Elanna is!"

"Thanks, Tom, you're right, there is something on my mind. Let's go to that place with Mexican food and tables outside, we'll talk there."

Chakotay got a table and Tom brought a pile of food and dumped it on the table and sat a cup of ice in front of Chakotay. "For your thumb," Tom grinned, "Now, what's on your mind?"

"Have you heard of the Bayview Country Club?" Chakotay asked.

"Sure, are you thinking of taking up golf? It's pretty exclusive, I don't think you could get in, you have to be at least an admiral to get into that place, it's pretty much for all the rich and famous society types. I never figured you'd be the type for the country club set."

"I'm not. What I am going to tell you needs to stay between you and me, OK?" Tom nodded his head as he stuffed a taco into his mouth. "I think I know who kidnapped Kathryn and she's a member of that country club, it's a long story and it involves something personal between she and Kathryn, has nothing to do with Starfleet, and you'll just have to trust me as I'm not going to explain it. Anyway, they found DNA on Kathryn's uniform that wasn't hers and I think this woman wore it and pretended to be Kathryn and she's the one that bought all those supplies they found in the shuttle."

Tom interrupted, "Didn't they test it, was it hers?"

"That's the problem, it was Human and female, but the woman doesn't have her DNA on file, so there's no way to know if it's hers and Starfleet doesn't think she's the one that did it, but I'm sure they're wrong. Since there's not enough evidence other than a threatening message she sent Kathryn and she's one of those rich mucky mucks with a lot of lawyers and an alibi, they say they can't get a warrant for her DNA and they've crossed her off the suspects list."

"So, why are you telling me this, Chakotay?"

"Well, I need to get a sample of her DNA, but I can't do it myself as she probably knows what I look like and I'm pretty distinctive looking," he grinned, "So I need somebody else she doesn't know who would fit in at a fancy country club and be willing to do something a little bit illegal."

Tom smiled, "Well, you've come to the right place, doing stuff a little bit illegal happens to be my specialty. What's your plan?"

"Well, the woman has a tennis lesson every weekday morning at that country club, you'd have to sneak in and see if you can get some of her DNA, you know, a cup or water bottle she drank from, tissue she used, towel she wiped sweat with, that sort of thing. She's supposed to be pretty loose, so maybe you could turn on the old Paris charm and flirt with her and get it pretty easily, maybe buy her a drink or something. If it turns out it wasn't her, she won't be the wiser."

No problem, Chak, I'll do anything to help catch whoever kidnapped Captain Janeway. I went to a wedding reception at that country club so I know the layout and I know this guy that makes great fake IDs, so he can probably whip me up a membership pass and Dad has a fancy car, so I'll borrow it and some tennis clothes and racquet from my friend Dave and I can probably drive right in. How will I know the woman, do you have a picture of her?"

"No, but Kathryn's mother has seen her and she said she looks remarkably like Kathryn, only with bigger boobs and browner hair and, if she wore Kathryn's uniform, she must be tiny like her. Her name is Carla Johnson."

"OK, our neighbor Mr. Faradi is a member there, I'll call and pretend to be him and find out what time the tennis lessons start in the morning so I can be sure to be there when she's there. Don't worry, I'll find her and get it."

"Thanks, Tom, I knew I could count on you. You can tell B'E, but this has to stay between the three of us, and, whatever you do, don't tell your father. If you get into any trouble, I'll say I made you do it and take the blame and, if you need any money for the fake ID, let me know."

"Not a problem! Let me get a bunch of food for the people back at the house and lets' get back and build that closet so Captain Janeway has a place to keep all those clothes you'll have to buy her when you get married!"

Chakotay laughed and shook his head, "I don't know about that, Tom!"

"What, the getting married part or the buying all the clothes part? Trust me, Chakotay, you and the captain are a perfect match and the only time you will regret getting married is when all the bills for the clothes come! You guys will get everything worked out, just give it a little time."

Chakotay patted Tom on the back, "Thanks, Tom, you're right and maybe we will get married some day, if she'll have me, ….and I'm sure B'Elanna will have to buy herself and Miral new outfits for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the engagement party, the bridal shower…"

The following morning Chakotay worked on the new closet as he nervously waited for Tom. When noon came and he still wasn't back, he sat on the front steps, ate his lunch and anxiously awaited Tom's arrival, watching every car as it came down the street. Finally one turned into the driveway and Tom emerged, still dressed in his tennis outfit. Chakotay laughed so hard egg salad came out his nose. "Tom, Buddy, do you look ridiculous or what! Did you get it?"

"Very funny, I said my friend Dave had tennis clothes, I didn't say he had good taste!" Tom retrieved some plastic bags from his tennis bag, "Piece of cake! I got both a towel she wiped off with and a glass and swizzle stick she chewed on and a wad of her used gum too. Sorry it took so long, her lesson wasn't until ten. She let me buy her a drink and she probably would have let me do a lot more if I didn't remember I'm a happily married man. You weren't kidding about her being hot to trot, especially since I forgot to take off my wedding ring, which didn't seem to bother her a bit. And, speaking of that, she may be taking lessons from the pro, but they're not for tennis, they were all over each other."

Chakotay took the evidence bags, "Thank you so much Tom, I really appreciate this, you may have just solved the case! You're absolutely sure it was Carla Johnson?"

He handed him a cocktail napkin, "Yeah, she wrote this down and told me to give her a call. When you got it you got it, Chak!"

"Right, and if B'Elanna finds out you think you still got it, you're gonna get it! I'm going to go to Starfleet right away and have the EMH check this stuff and, if it matches, we'll send it to SCIS forensics right away."

"No problem, take Dad's car, he was running late and beamed in today, so he doesn't need it. I've got a change of clothes here and I'll get to work. Hey, you weren't kidding about that woman looking like Captain Janeway, she's a dead ringer, only she's got a rack on her that you gotta see to believe and she had this damn tomato necklace on that sat right between 'em and she kept…"

"Tom!" Chakotay grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, "Did you say a tomato? Are you sure it was a tomato?"

Tom grinned, "Well, I was looking more at what was on either side of the pendant than at it, but it was a definitely a little red tomato on a gold chain. I'm sure because I remember thinking who the hell would wear a stupid tomato around their neck?"

"Kathryn would, I gave it to her and it's missing! Tom, I gotta go, thanks again, thanks so much! Oh, and by the way, I have it on good authority those things are fake!" Chakotay jumped into Admiral Paris' car, took off at warp speed for Starfleet and tore through the corridors looking for the EMH. By time he found him he was out of breath, both from the running and the excitement. "Doctor, I got it, I got a DNA sample from the Johnson woman! Can you please scan it and see if it matches what you found on Kathryn's uniform?"

The EMH smiled, "Of course, sit down before I need to give you tri-ox! Getting a little out of shape in addition to gaining weight, are we?" The doctor snapped open his tricorder and scanned the plastic bags that Chakotay had placed on the table. "Humm… well, I can detect Mr. Paris' DNA on this bag, so I don't guess I need to ask you how you got them? Well, there's plenty of DNA here and I'm happy to tell you it all matches the DNA I found on the captain's uniform. Congratulations, Chakotay, it looks like the mystery has been solved. Shall we hand carry this over to Security headquarters and deliver it to the forensics lab ourselves?"

"I think that would be a wonderful idea, Doctor… and I suppose I could use the exercise!"

The EMH smiled as he gathered the bags, "Indeed, Commander!"

They left the samples and headed back to sick bay so that the Doctor could treat Chakotay's smashed thumb, but Admiral Paris summoned them to his office before they had gotten half way there. Chakotay and the EMH sat and waited outside Paris' office as his aide indicated, wondering if the news were good or bad. Finally Paris' head emerged from the doors and he asked them to enter. They did and found Commodore Pereira seated in front of his desk.

Paris sat behind his desk and asked them to take the chairs on either side of Pereira. They sat and politely nodded to her, however she ignored them. Paris folded his hands on his desk, "Gentleman, this is Commodore Pereira, head of SCIS. Commodore, Voyager's EMH and First Officer, Commander Chakotay."

She still didn't acknowledge them and looked down and frowned into her PADD as she spoke, "Commander, are you sure the samples are from Carla Johnson and how did you obtain them?"

"Well, Ma'am, a friend of mine got them from her this morning at the country club where she plays tennis, he was, uh… there to play tennis too. She introduced herself to him and even wrote down the information so that he could contact her, I'm sure Ma'am, sure that it was her." Chakotay handed her the cocktail napkin and leaned towards her and tried to make eye contact with her. "Commodore, she was wearing Captain Janeway's necklace as well, maybe you can still find her DNA on it, she was wearing it the morning she disappeared."

"I see," replied Pereira as she made a note on her PADD. "Can you describe the necklace?"

"Yes, Ma'am, it's a tomato, an orange-red and green enameled tomato, about the size of a blueberry, made of gold, on a gold box link chain. It was handmade by a local artisan, it's a unique piece, the only one."

"I see… a tomato, that's rather unusual, isn't it?" she asked as she kept her eyes focused on her PADD.

"Yes, it is. I bought it about two weeks ago in Bloomington, Indiana, you can check my account, the receipt will be there. Didn't your technicians agree with the doctor's findings, Commodore?"

"They did," she said as she kept making notes on her PADD, "And it looks like Carla Johnson has a lot of explaining to do!" she said as she finally looked up and cracked a smile. "Gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I believe I have to go get a warrant and then I think I'll pay a visit to Ms. Johnson personally." She stood and smiled, "Admiral, Commander, Doctor, good afternoon, I'll be in touch."

They all stood as she left the room. When the doors slid shut Paris came out from behind his desk and shook Chakotay and the doctor's hands, "I don't know how you did it, but I believe congratulations are in order, gentleman! That's the first time I've ever seen that old battle axe smile in twenty years, so I think she's sure the case is solid. Catching Kathryn's kidnapper is wonderful, but finding out that there was probably no classified information that got out is the icing on the cake. I have a meeting in five minutes, so why don't you two get back to work and I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything, OK?"

"Yes, Sir," they replied together as they exited and returned to sick bay so that the doctor could treat Chakotay's thumb and he could return to Kathryn's house to work. Tom, Chakotay and Vorik worked on the closet/shed additions and had them under roof by then end of the day. Chakotay beamed back to Bloomington to find the house empty except for Komn.

Komn was obviously excited about something, however Chakotay had no chance of understanding him when he spoke so rapidly. Komn finally grabbed his wrist and dragged him out the porch door exclaiming, "Il y a des petites tomates vertes dans le jardin, Monsieur, il faut regardez! Allons, allons, vite vite!"

Chakotay picked up tomates and knew that was tomatoes, so he hurried, worried that something had happened to them, wondering if the rest of what Komn said meant invasion of tomato bugs, wilted, as he'd forgotten to water them the night before or, worse yet, dead. Komn led him to the tomatoes and pushed back the lush green foliage and smiled as he showed Chakotay what he had been going on about. "Monsieur Chakotay, regardez, the tomates, she have the babies!"

Chakotay grinned and touched the tiny little newly formed green tomatoes, barely larger than peas, but they were there and, soon enough, would grow and ripen into big, fat, juicy red tomatoes. He looked at Komn and smiled, "Merci, Komn." Komn grinned as only he could, handed Chakotay the hose, bowed and left him to care for the tomatoes. Chakotay inspected each plant as he watered it, noting that all of them but one now had 'babies'. When he finished he looked over them one more time and told them, "Don't you kids worry, your mother will be home on Monday and I'll bring her out here to see you, even if I have to carry her, and she'll be so happy to see all of you! Stay there, I think I heard your grandma's car, I'll bring her right down."

Chakotay ran to the house and told Gretchen the day's good news as he took her to the garden to see her 'grandchildren'. She carefully inspected the tomatoes and gave Chakotay a hug. "I knew you'd be a wonderful son-in-law the day I met you, but I never knew you'd be such a good farmer! Wait until Katie sees these, she'll be thrilled, she never got to see the tomatoes that she planted on that planet ripen, did she?"

"No, she didn't, and she looked at them right before we beamed up and I could swear I saw a little tear in the corner of her eye. Well, I hope she'll be happy from now on and the only tears I ever see on her face again are tears of joy. I finished watering them, let's get back to the house, I don't want to miss Admiral Paris' call."

"OK," she replied as they started walking, "What would you think of having a little dinner party next Saturday night to welcome her home? Just a small gathering, Phoebe and her family, the Parises, Tom, B'Elanna and the baby and maybe that nice young man Harry Kim and of course the doctor? Do you think it would be too soon, be too much for her?"

"Well, why don't you invite the doctor first, that way he can tell you if she'd be up to it?" Chakotay suggested.

"Good idea. Oh no! I wanted to surprise you and take you out to eat dinner tonight at the club, I told T'Ana to take the night off and not prepare dinner, but we should stay here so that we don't miss Owen's call. I'd best get to the kitchen and get something started, Komn can serve, but you most certainly don't want to eat his cooking!"

"Gretchen, how about you have some tea and see if the party will be OK and invite people if it is and I'll fix dinner tonight? According to Kathryn, I'm a pretty fair cook."

Gretchen smiled, "According to Kathryn, you're more than a pretty fair cook, so I'll gladly accept your kind offer and change the reservation to tomorrow night. Dinners there on Saturday evenings are formal, you do have a tuxedo, don't you?"

"Yes, Ma'am, Komn insisted I buy one and now I'm glad I did. Gretchen, maybe this is completely improper, but would it be all right if I asked Komn to have dinner with us tonight? He's been so helpful to me and he's always doing things for me, I'd like to do something nice for him, so would it be OK?"

"Of course, Dear, I think that would be lovely. Why don't you just put everything on the table and we'll eat family style, that way nobody will have to get up? Chakotay nodded. "Fine, just let Komn know if you can't find something, he does know where everything is."

After dinner they retired to the study to await a call from Paris. Gretchen retrieved a PADD from the desk and sat on the sofa. "That dinner was wonderful, Chakotay, you must write down the recipe for that risotto, it was heavenly, and Komn really loved the Bolian soup, where did you learn to make it?"

"On Voyager, we had several Bolian crew members and one of them was a pretty fair cook, unlike the guy that actually was the cook!"

"Well, we'll have to have it again soon. Help me to plan the menu for the dinner, the doctor said it would be fine. Oh, I'll ask Komn to go up into the attic and bring down Katie and Phoebe's old high chair for Miral, so she can sit at the table with us. What would you think of starting out with a nice tomato bisque and then maybe a salade niçoise with…." Gretchen was interrupted by the beep of the com link. "It's Owen," she said as Chakotay sat at the desk and she pulled up a chair beside him.

"Good evening. I just spoke with Pereira and I have good news, Carla Johnson finally confessed! She had her team of lawyers there within minutes and initially denied everything, but the forensics team found Kathryn's DNA in her car and in the room in the basement where she kept her and they found Katie's purse in the trunk of her car. In the face of that and Pereira's threats to turn the story over to the press, which she would never do, but the woman didn't know that, she confessed and she was turned over to civilian authorities for prosecution. Pereira says it's a solid case even though Kathryn doesn't remember anything because of her confession and all the physical evidence. Johnson did it strictly for personal reasons, so there was no classified information that got out, and the tennis pro was in on it too. Oh, and you were right about the necklace, she still had it on and, luckily, there was one single epithelial cell from Kathryn still caught up in the chain. They released it and I have it here, I'll drop it by sick bay on my way home and you can return it to Katie tomorrow."

"Thank you so much, Sir," Chakotay said, "I'm sure Kathryn will feel so much better knowing what happened and she'll be able to put this all behind her and move on."

"No, thank you, Chakotay, without you this case might have never been solved. Well, I hate to cut this short, but I promised my wife I'd be home by 2100, so I had better get going. Oh, Gretchen, thank you for the invitation, all five of us will be there next Saturday for Katie's welcome home party!"

"Thank you, Owen, and please give our love to the family, we'll see you next weekend, if not sooner! Good evening." She cut the link and she and Chakotay hugged. "Well, I'd say this calls for a celebration, let's break out some champagne! I just realized we only have two days to get Katie's room finished, maybe we should skip going out to dinner tomorrow night? We still have a lot to do, we can all go to the club as soon as Katie gets that blasted security monitor out."

"I agree, we'll be hard pressed to get finished, but I'll go up now and work for a couple hours, I still have some energy. Gretchen, I just thought of something, when Kathryn comes home, how am I going to work on her house and keep it a surprise? She's going to wonder where I'm going every day, I guess maybe we'll have to tell her about it?"

Gretchen thought as she took out the champagne glasses, "Well, I would really prefer it be a surprise for her, I thought we could have a surprise party after her hearing and take her there to show it to her and invite all her friends that have helped with the house. That's thirty days from Monday, will it be finished by then?"

"Here, let me," Chakotay opened the champagne and poured. "Well, I think we could have it mostly finished by then. Gretchen, I hope Kathryn's hearing goes well too, but there is a possibility she won't be coming home right after it, you know. It's a remote possibility, but it could happen, you should be prepared."

She raised her glass of champagne, "I know, but I prefer to think positively, a toast to Kathryn!" They clinked glasses and she took a sip and sat her glass on the table. "Chakotay, I have an idea, why don't you tell Katie you got called to teach some classes at the academy at the last minute, to replace someone or other, then you could beam out every day and work on the house, change back into your uniform and beam home; she wouldn't know and it wouldn't ruin the surprise. She thinks the house is gone, she reviewed her finances when she first got home and noticed the deductions for the mortgage payments from her account stopped when Starfleet declared Voyager lost and stopped paying her. As you know, I paid off the mortgage for her and rented the house out, but she just assumed the house was repossessed and I didn't correct her. I could even ask Owen to say something about you teaching to make it believable, she wouldn't suspect anything."

Chakotay shook his head, "I don't know, Gretchen, I've never lied to Kathryn, I'd be awfully uncomfortable about it, but I would also like to keep it a surprise, so I suppose I could do it."

"Good, it's settled then! It will all work out, you'll see, and it's not like really lying, it's only like lying so you can surprise somebody on their birthday! You go on upstairs and get to work and I'll do the dishes and be right up to help you and no arguments about it!"

On Monday morning Chakotay and Gretchen beamed to San Francisco to pick up Kathryn. Her newly decorated bedroom and bath were ready, save for a few last minute touches that the staff would see to, such as putting fresh linens on the bed and filling the room with flowers. They nervously fidgeted as they waited in the EMH's office to speak with him before picking up Kathryn.

He finally entered and smiled, "Somehow I knew you'd be right on time!" He handed Gretchen a PADD, "Here, Mrs. Janeway, all of the captain's instructions are here and she has a copy too. All of her visits to see me or Dr. Pulaski are already scheduled and so are her counseling sessions with Ehytr, he still wants to see her twice a week in Colorado, and all the beaming is arranged with Starfleet Security as she's still on home detention as you know. She should rest for the first week and eat five or six small meals a day. Her stomach is still quite small, so she can't eat much at one time, don't try to force her to eat more when she says she's full, small portions. She can basically have whatever she wants, however no extremely rich, spicy or fatty foods and make sure what she eats is nutritious, it's all outlined for you on the PADD. Ehytr insists that she still be monitored while eating, so eat with her and stay with her after the meal to make sure she doesn't vomit. She has vomited a couple of times here, but I don't think it was intentional. She went so long eating little to nothing and then several days with no food and several more with the feeding tube, it will just take her body some time to adjust. It is imperative that someone check her weight every day and let me know if she does not show a weight gain for two consecutive days, I'd like to see her weight up to about 55 kilos, she's still under 50."

"What about exercise, should she stay in bed? May she climb the stairs?" Gretchen asked.

"Nothing strenuous, but she can take short walks and that sort of thing, sit and read, play games, converse and so on. She is still sleeping about ten to twelve hours a day, so she'll need naps, she fatigues easily. She can occasionally be a bit unsteady on her feet, so I would suggest having someone with her when she goes up and down stairs. If everything goes well, she can start a more moderate exercise program next week to regain her strength, longer walks and perhaps a bit of swimming and working with light weights. Don't worry, we'll outline her exercise program when she's ready. She has her medications with her, but make sure she takes them exactly as prescribed. Her immune system is still quite weak, so don't expose her to anyone who's ill. Any more questions?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied, "Why does Ehytr still want to see her, does he still think she has an eating disorder?"

"No, I don't think so, but he felt she still hasn't resolved all her issues with guilt and she still has occasional nightmares. She may not remember being kidnapped, but that in and of itself is stressful, as well as knowing why she was kidnapped. He also thought it best as a precaution as she may feel more stress as her hearing approaches and he just wants to monitor her. I think it's a wise precaution and she agrees, she's quite comfortable talking with him now. Well, if you have no more questions, I know a lady who is very anxious to go home!"

Kathryn was sitting on the edge of her bed waiting when they entered her room. "Mom! Chakotay!" she shouted as she went to them and hugged them. "I can't believe I'm really going home!"

Chakotay gave her a kiss and picked up her bag, "You'd better believe it, Kathryn, home sweet home. C'mon, let's get you out of here before the doc changes his mind. You look really pretty, I like your hair like that."

Gretchen gave her a kiss too, "He's right, Katie, it's very becoming on you. What about all these flowers, Dear, do you want to take them home?"

She smiled, "Home, I sure like the sound of that! No, I'm going to leave them, I asked the nurses to give them to the patients that don't have any. Knowing T'Ana and Stanak, I'm sure my room looks like a flower shop anyhow. Gosh, I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again."

Gretchen winked at Chakotay, "I bet you can't!"

When they arrived home the staff was assembled at the door to greet Kathryn and everyone hugged her and welcomed her home. She hugged everyone back and assured them that she was feeling fine and very very glad to be home. Komn took Kathryn's things upstairs and Gretchen went into the kitchen to explain Kathryn's dietary restrictions and meal schedule to T'Ana.

Chakotay hugged her again, "It's so good to have you home, you don't know how I've missed you! Do you feel up to a little walk in the back yard? I have something to show you."

"Sure," she replied as they started walking, "You don't have to treat me like a porcelain doll, Chakotay, I'm OK now, I swear. I know I have to take it easy and remember to rest and eat right, but I'm doing those things. Please trust me, if I'm tired or need help, I'll say so, I just want to move on and get back to being me again." She smiled, "Ehytr convinced me that I'm not such a bad person, I'm just Human and make mistakes like everyone else. Now what is it you have to show me?"

He took her hand, "Come look at our tomatoes!"

She walked through the gate into the garden and stopped, "Oh, my, look how they've grown, they didn't look this big in the pictures you've been bringing me!" Kathryn bent down and examined one of the plants, "Look, Chakotay, there's little green tomatoes! Oh, this is wonderful, you took such good care of them!"

He put his arms around her, "Didn't I promise you that I would? Come on, let's get you back to the house, T'Ana made maple syrup lemonade and those little puffy Vulcan cookies. The woman's a tyrant, I tried to sneak some this morning and I thought she'd whack me with her spatula!"

They walked back to the house slowly and the three of them sat on the veranda and had lemonade and cookies and caught up. Kathryn did seem to be her usual animated self again and Gretchen and Chakotay relaxed, knowing that Kathryn was indeed home.

After a while Kathryn got up and announced, "I'm a little bit tired, I'm going to lie down for a few minutes before lunch, if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Dear," her mother replied as they walked towards the stairs, "You can rest as much as you want to, there's no need to apologize for being tired, you need your rest. Do you think you can climb the stairs or would you like Chakotay to carry you? Remember, it's been a long time since you've climbed any stairs."

Kathryn stopped at the foot of the staircase, looked up, then looked at Chakotay. "I'd forgotten how many stairs there are, would you mind carrying me, I'm not sure I can make it."

He picked her up in one swift motion, "Fortunately for you, Lady Janeway, sweeping pretty ladies off their feet is my specialty!" Chakotay carried her up the steps and sat her down in front of her door, "Go on in, your palace awaits!"

Kathryn opened the door and gasped as Gretchen took her arm to steady her. "Surprise, Katie, do you like it?"

"Oh, Mom, is this really my room? This is beautiful, I love the color and the drapes, and the bed spread and canopy, oh my bed looks too pretty to sleep in! You had Grandma Janeway's loveseat and chairs reupholstered, they look wonderful, what gorgeous fabric and what pretty throw pillows." She threw herself into her mother's waiting arms, "Oh, thank you so much, I just love it!"

Gretchen patted her on the back, "There, there, Dear, don't cry, I'm glad you like it. Give Chakotay a hug too, he did most of the work and picked the color, the poor dear stayed up half the night for the last week fixing, patching and painting so that it would be finished. Maybe now you'll finally start keeping you room tidy, young lady? Chakotay, show her the bathroom and I'll turn down the bed. Shall I get you a gown or do you want to just nap in your clothes?"

"No, Mom, it's just a nap, I'll stay dressed." Kathryn turned to Chakotay, put her hands on his shoulders, and gave him a kiss. "Thank you so much, I really do love it and you did such a beautiful job, you and Mom are just incredible!"

"You're welcome, Kathryn, I'm glad you like it. Come see your bathroom, I think you'll like it too, your mom picked out the colors."

She walked in, put her hands on her hips and giggled, "It's beige, of course I like it! This is heavenly, I may never get out of my bathtub now, look at all the candles and this wonderful fuzzy rug! The new shelves are beautiful, maybe I can finally keep all my stuff neat and organized because I'll have enough room. Chakotay, did you make the shelves?"

"Yes, Kathryn, I had to because we couldn't find any exactly the right size. Come on and lie down and see if all the new things help you to sleep better, that bed really is fit for a princess! I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm tired, I think I'll take a nap before lunch too. I'll leave my door open, just call if you need anything. Let's get you tucked in." They held hands and walked to the bed.

Gretchen plumped up the pillows, "There you go Katie, nice and comfy. Let T'Ana know when you wake up so she can have lunch ready when you come down. I'm going to leave and let Chakotay get you tucked in and you two can have some time alone." Gretchen kissed her on the head and left.

Kathryn kicked off her shoes, crawled into bed and Chakotay pulled up the covers, kissed her and turned to leave.

"Chakotay," she called to him, "Please don't go, would you stay with me? I mean, would you take your nap with me?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed, "Are you sure, Kathryn?"

She folded back the covers, "I'm sure, but I mean just a nap, I'm not allowed to do anything 'vigorous' yet, the doctors were quite clear on that point, so no 'conjugating'," she grinned as she shook her finger at him. "I'm not ready for that yet, I just want to snuggle and to fall asleep and wake up in your arms, I've missed you so much. Would that be OK?"

"Of course, Kathryn, that would be wonderful, but are you sure your mother would be OK with it? I know we're adults, but this is her home and I don't want to be disrespectful and do anything she might think wasn't proper."

"No, it's fine, when you left the room at the hospital yesterday to go get me some juice she told me it was perfectly OK if we wanted to share my room. She adores you, Chakotay and she trusts you and so do I. I don't know that I'm ready to move in together so to speak just yet, but maybe we could take a nap together every once in awhile or you could stay when I have trouble sleeping, if that would be OK?"

"That would be wonderful Kathryn and I'll behave, I promise!" He walked to the door and opened it half way, "I'll leave the door open, my parents were old fashioned and had a rule that the door had to be left open when my sister or I had a friend of the opposite sex in our rooms. I don't want to rush you, heaven knows my hormones were raging in my closet that day, but you were right and we have the rest of our lives now, there's no rush. You need time to get your health back and get your life on course again and I'll do all I can to help you with that." He snuggled up next to her and gave her a kiss. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway, and I'll tell you again, I happen to think you're worth waiting for."

She returned his kiss, "I love you too, sweet dreams."

Chakotay awoke before Kathryn and smiled as he realized his dream of having her be the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes had finally come true. He wrapped his arm more tightly around her and watched her sleep, knowing he was the luckiest man on the planet. When she finally awoke Kathryn got up and made it down the stairs herself, albeit very slowly, and they had lunch as Gretchen announced her plans for the dinner party Saturday evening. "Do you think you'll be up to it, Katie? If you get tired, you can just excuse yourself and everyone will understand. The doctor said it would be OK, but do you think it would be? You can say no, Katie, it won't hurt my feelings and we'll just reschedule it for when you're stronger."

"Oh, yes, Mom, I'd love to see everyone again, it would be wonderful and I'll take a long nap right before, I'll be fine. I think I could eat a little more, would you please get me more soup, just half a bowl, if I eat too much at one time it tends not to agree with me."

Gretchen got her more soup, sat it in front of her and wrapped her arms around Kathryn's shoulders. "I'm so glad to have you home, Sweetheart, and to see you eating. I'm sure you'll be back to your old self in no time! Oh, Katie, I'll have to go get you a dress for the party, nothing you have now will fit and I think you deserve a pretty new dress for the occasion and I won't take no for an answer. Chakotay has a new tuxedo, so you should have a new dress! What sort and color would you like, Dear?"

"I don't know, Mom, I still look pretty bad, something that covers everything up. Unfortunately a lot of the weight I lost is in the wrong places, nothing low cut or form fitting on top and nothing that will show the scar from the implant, the doctor still has to do more treatments on it to try to remove it better."

"All right, I'll bring several home and you can pick one and maybe I'll even get myself something new too. I'll take T'Ana with me, she has a knack for picking out things you like. Chakotay, do you have everything you need to wear?"

"Oh, yes, Ma'am, Komn saw to that! I'll stay here with Kathryn, Komn left, didn't he?"

"Yes, he skipped attending his temple this morning so he could be here when Katie got home, but he went up to conduct the evening service, he's some sort of cleric or official or something, I forget the Bolian word for it. Katie, when you're finished we'll go in the study and I'll take your measurements so I know what size to get."

Kathryn got up from the table, "I'm finished, Mom, that's all I can eat. Take your measurements and leave cleaning up to Chakotay and me and go have a fun time shopping!"

Kathryn and Chakotay cleaned up the dishes from lunch and sat at the kitchen table and had some tea. "Kathryn, are you tired, do you need to go lie down?"

She swatted him on the arm, "No, I told you, when I'm tired I'll rest, I'm fine, you'll just have to trust me. Now, what would you like to do and don't say play cards, I did enough of that at the hospital to last until the end of the year, my fingers have calluses!"

He slid his chair closer, "Well, I was watching when your mother went over the menu for the party with T'Ana and showed her how she wants the table set and the waiters to serve the meal and all. Kathryn, to be honest I've never seen so much stuff on the table at one time and I don't know what a lot of it was for. I don't want to embarrass you or your family, could you please show me what all the forks are for?"

"Chakotay, do you think the planet would stop rotating if you used the wrong fork? Mom and I would never be embarrassed about that, hardly anyone knows, Mom is so old fashioned I think she still thinks Queen Victoria is on the throne, hardly anyone eats the way we do anymore! I know being here has been awkward for you at times, but you have to remember, we're from different planets and cultures and, if I ever get to visit yours, I'll make mistakes and be confused too. Come on, lets go in the dining room and I'll lay out a full formal place setting and explain everything about a formal dinner party to you, OK?"

"Thank you, Kathryn. You're right, it has been awkward sometimes, but I really feel very comfortable here now and," he grinned, "Komn and I are even friends now and I can actually understand a little bit of what he says."

"Well, my dear, if you can understand Komn, you can certainly learn the difference between a pickle fork and a lemon fork!"

Kathryn spent about an hour showing Chakotay various types of traditional formal table settings and teaching him the name and use of every single plate, glass, piece of silverware and dining room widget they had. When they were done, they went to the study and Chakotay set up a chess board as he spoke, "Thank you, Kathryn, your family has beautiful things and it was actually very interesting to learn. You're right, it's not all that complicated once you get the hang of it and I sort of like it, there's a certain elegance and charm to it that makes eating more of an occasion than just shoveling food in your mouth."

She giggled, "Well, when you put it that way! Chakotay, there's someone at the front door, can you see who it is?"

"Sure. Kathryn, if it's someone to see you, are you feeling up to guests?"

"Well, can you see who it is first and let me know? Just ask them to wait and say you'll check and see if I'm awake or something like that." Kathryn continued to set up the chess board and pulled up a hassock so she could prop her feet up. Chakotay's face was ashen when he returned. "You look like you've seen a ghost, who is it?"

He shuffled his feet as he tried to make up his mind if he should do something he'd never done and lie to her. "Kathryn, it's Mark Johnson, do you want me to send him away?"

She drew in a breath, held it as she thought and finally exhaled. "No, please show him in, I think I should see him. Don't worry, I'm OK, I need to do this, but I'd like to see him in private please, Chakotay."

Chakotay didn't agree, but he did as Kathryn asked and showed Mark to the study, left them alone and shut the door.

Mark stood in the center of the room and fidgeted with the bouquet of flowers he'd brought. "Hello, Kath, I heard you were home and I really didn't think you'd see me, but thank you, I wanted to talk to you in person. Here," he held out the flowers, "These are for you, but if you won't accept them, I'll understand."

She rose from her chair and took the flowers. "Thank you, Mark, they're lovely, please have a seat. How are your parents?"

"They're fine, but I didn't come here to talk about them, I came here to apologize. I sent you messages, some of which I'm sorry I sent now, but I never heard back from you, did you get them?"

"No, I was so sick I didn't read my messages for a long time and then my computer kept crashing, so maybe they got accidentally deleted or lost in cyberspace or something, but I never saw them. I would have answered you if I had." She moved to the chair next to him. "Mark, this is bound to be awkward, so please just let me talk. I'm sorry for what I, we did, it was wrong and I apologize, I wasn't thinking clearly and I'm terribly sorry for all the grief I no doubt caused you and your family. As to what Carla did, you're not responsible for that. I've done a lot of thinking lately and I really think it would be best if we could put the past behind us, admit we made a mistake, and move on. I'm doing my best to pick up the pieces of my life and move on and I hope you can do the same. I want us to be friends, do you think you could live with that?"

"Yes, Kath, you just said everything I wanted to say, you always were the one who was good with words. I just want you to know I knew nothing about what Carla did until I heard about it from the police and I do apologize. If I had any idea she would do something like that, I would have stopped her or at least warned you. I knew she was mentally unbalanced and, trust me, our marriage was over long ago and I had already asked my attorney to start the proceedings for a divorce, but I just never thought her capable of something like that and I'm very glad you're going to be OK."

She took his hands, "Thank you, I am going to be OK and so are you and your family. So, what are you doing and where are you living now?"

He laughed, "I still have the same boring job, but I took a leave of absence, sold the house and the kids and I are staying with Mom and Dad for awhile. I'm going to go look for a new place in Frisco, hire a nanny and move back in time for Kevin to start pre-school in the fall. How about you?"

"Well, I'm not sure, I still have to face a disciplinary hearing with Starfleet in thirty days and then I'll find out. If everything works out, I'll have a lot of leave, so I may just take it easy for a couple of months and stay here with Mom and Chakotay."

"Is that his name?" He smiled at her, "I heard you had a special man in your life, my mom ran into yours downtown and you know what gossips those two are! I'm happy for you, Kath, I hope he knows what a special lady he has and that he takes good care of you and makes you happy."

"Thank you, Mark. That was Chakotay that answered the door, he's a wonderful man and we are very happy together. Would you like me to introduce you or would that be too uncomfortable?"

"Well, if he doesn't mind meeting his fiancée's old boyfriend, I would be proud to shake his hand and congratulate him."

"We're not engaged Mark, …but I think society can consider me out of circulation and spoken for! Come here and give me a hug, I'm glad we talked and I hope we can stay in touch, I'd love to meet your kids and I'm sure we'll both get our lives put back together and be just fine. I'm pretty much of a mess right now and still on damn home detention, but please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, we've been friends for what, almost forty years now? If you need anything, I'm here for you. Wait here and I'll go get Chakotay and introduce you."

Kathryn wandered around the house until she found Chakotay sitting at the kitchen table staring at a cold mug of tea. "There you are! Chakotay, Mark would like to meet you, would that be OK with you? If it would be too uncomfortable, just say so, but you should know that he had nothing to do with me being kidnapped."

"Of course, Kathryn, I've been thinking and I guess I felt a little insecure and I was worried seeing him might not be good for you, but I can see you're OK, so I'd be glad to meet him."

Kathryn held hands with Chakotay and they returned to the study and had a pleasant but slightly awkward short visit with Mark before they showed him to the door.

Mark shook Chakotay's hand again and said, "Congratulations, Chakotay, I'm glad Kathryn has someone like you to take care of her and I sincerely hope you two will be very happy. It was a pleasure to meet you and I'm sorry I intruded and arrived unannounced and interrupted your afternoon." He gave Kathryn a gentle hug, "Kath, it was good to see you and I really mean it, I hope you're happy and everything works out for you, you deserve only the best!"

"Thank you, Mark." She slipped her arm around Chakotay's waist. "Please say hello to your parents for me and tell them I'll come by as soon as Starfleet lets me. Take care, goodbye, I'll see you soon." She shut the door and hugged Chakotay. "Thank you, I know that was difficult for you."

"Actually it wasn't that bad, he seems to be a pretty nice guy. I'm glad now you talked and got everything worked out, I'm sure he felt as bad as you did. Well, how about you eat something and then why don't we curl up on the big chaise on the porch and rest for a little while? You go on and I'll bring you something to eat, what would you like?"

"Thanks, I am a little bit tired. Could you bring me the other half of my sandwich from lunch and a glass of lemonade, please?"

"Coming right up and I'll bring you some yogurt too, the doctor said that's really good for you, and how about a nice juicy fat kiss on the lips as an appetizer?"

Kathryn put her arms around Chakotay's neck, "I'm pretty hungry, you'd better give me two of those 'appetizers', Chakotay!"

Saturday night finally came and Chakotay checked himself in the mirror for the fourth time to make sure he and his new tuxedo were perfect. He had never attended many formal functions and almost all of the ones he had attended had been in a dress uniform, so the tuxedo felt uncomfortable and alien to him, although he had to admit he thought he looked rather dashing in it. He heard Komn opening the front door again and realized that must be the last of the guests arriving. Chakotay was anxious to see Kathryn as both she and her mother had refused to let him see any of the dresses, so he had no idea what she would be wearing. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore, so he went across the hall and knocked on Kathryn's door.

Phoebe's arm came out of the barely opened door and shoved him back. "She's not ready yet, so go twiddle your thumbs a little longer, I'll let you know when I'm finished with her and, by the way, you look very handsome. Goodbye!" She smiled and slammed the door in his face. Phoebe was a lot like Kathryn and her mother in many respects, she was physical, direct and inevitably got her way.

He went back to his room and combed his hair again, checked his watch and just stood there like a storefront mannequin so he wouldn't wrinkle his pants. Five minutes later he checked his watch again, it was five minutes later. He combed his hair and made sure there was nothing stuck between his teeth, even though he'd brushed them twice. Finally there was a knock at his door and he opened it. Phoebe stepped in, giggled and then plastered on a straight face as she tipped her chin up, "Lord Chakotay, Lady Janeway says she is now ready for her escort." She laughed and hugged him, "I'm sorry, that's exactly what she told me to say. I hope you have a good time and would you please relax? I'll see you downstairs and hold on the her, she's pretty wobbly on those shoes, but she insists on wearing them."

Chakotay knocked at Kathryn's door and entered at her royal command. It only took one look to know it had been worth the wait. She had chosen a simple elegant periwinkle blue silk evening gown with a high neck, sheer long sleeves and a full skirt that made the most of her still too thin body. Her sister had curled and arranged her hair on top of her head with little pearl butterflies nestled into it and left a cascade of small ringlets to frame her face. She wore her favorite string of pearls and simple pearl earrings to complete the magic. "Kathryn, you're exquisite, I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be your escort, pinch me and see if I'm dreaming."

She wrapped her arms around him, "Thank you, but I think I'm the lucky one." She reached around and gave his rear a good solid pinch.

"Ouch! I didn't mean there or that hard!" He took his left hand from behind his back, "Here, this is for you."

She held the long stemmed pink rose to her face and inhaled the scent before she gave him a kiss. "Thank you, it's beautiful. You look so handsome, that tuxedo really suits you, obviously Komn didn't pick it out! I suppose we should go downstairs, but I need you to do something for me first."

"Of course, Kathryn, what?"

"Fasten this for me, please?" He did and she looked in the mirror and adjusted the tomato so that it hung just below her pearls. "OK, now I'm ready! Hold on to me, I haven't worn such high heels in ages, I'm a little out of practice."

"No problem, I'm not about to leave your side… and I like the high heels, they're very sexy and make your lips closer! Have I told you yet that I think you're the most gorgeous sexy woman I've ever seen?"

Kathryn gave him another quick kiss before they started down the stairs, "I believe you did, but feel free to say it as often as you like."

Chakotay escorted Kathryn into the parlor to a round of applause and hugs from everyone. He left her long enough to get her a wineglass of cranberry juice as she wasn't allowed to have alcohol yet, but other than that he barely left her side. Once she had greeted and hugged everyone, he walked her to a chair as he could see she was uncomfortable in the heels and starting to tire.

While Kathryn was busy fussing over Miral, Chakotay spoke quietly with Tom, "I just want to thank you again, she wouldn't be here and so happy without your help. Thanks, Tom, I really mean it."

"No problem, she really does look pretty, doesn't she? You're a lucky son of a gun, old man!"

"I know, believe me, I know! You clean up pretty nicely yourself and B'Elanna and the baby look wonderful, new dresses I assume?"

Tom nodded his head, "Of course."

Komn entered and whispered something to Kathryn. She stood and announced, "I would like to thank you all for coming, being home and able to spend the evening with my dearest friends and family is the greatest welcome home gift of all. Mom, I want to thank you for this evening, you have outdone yourself, if that's even possible! I would like to thank those of you who were with me for the last seven years and especially those of you who never lost faith and waited for us to come home for the last seven years." She wiped away a tear, faced Chakotay and took his hands. "Most of all I want to thank you, Chakotay, for being my first officer, my best friend and now my partner and my love." She kissed him, took a deep breath and gathered herself together. "If everyone would please accompany me to the dining room, dinner is served."

After dinner everyone returned to the parlor for more drinks and conversation. Chakotay steered Kathryn to a corner and quietly asked, "Are you doing OK, do you need to lie down for a few minutes?"

"No, I'm fine, I've been pacing myself really well."

He offered her his arm, "Would you feel up to taking a little walk in the garden? It's a lovely night and I'm sure the party could spare you for a few minutes, I've hardly been able to talk to you all night."

"Yes, that would be nice, come on, we'll just slip out this way. Oh, it's much cooler out here, this is nice, but I don't know about walking on the path in these shoes!"

"Not a problem!" Chakotay said as he scooped her up, carried her to a bench in the garden, sat her down and kissed her. "I love you, Kathryn, you look so pretty tonight." He sat down beside her, put his arm around her and kissed her again. "I didn't know the true meaning of things like beauty, grace and courage until I met you and I never knew peace until you gave it to me. You've been through so much in the last few weeks, and yet here you are, still so strong and beautiful. You're everything to me, Kathryn, I love you so much and I want to stand by your side for the rest of my life, I want to laugh with you and cry with you and face whatever life brings with you. I want to take care of you and be your best friend, your lover and your husband. Kathryn Janeway, will you please marry me?" he said as he got down on his knees, took her hand and offered her the ring. "It's the engagement ring your father gave to your mother right here on this bench, she gave it to me to give to you, may I put it on?"

"No, Chakotay, I'm sorry, but I can't accept it. I love you too and what you said was beautiful, but my answer has to be no."

He looked up at her as tears came to his eyes and words would barely come out of his mouth. "Why, Kathryn?"

She tugged on his hands, "Get up off the ground and sit next to me. "I love you, I hope you know that, but I don't know what's going to happen to me in a month. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, just realistic, and I could be court martialed and sent to a penal colony. If that happens I can't be a wife to you, so that's why I have to say no. I'm sorry, but I won't trap you into being some disgraced prisoner's husband, it's too soon for me to be making any future plans. I'm very flattered you asked and know I would be lucky to have you, but I just can't say yes, I hope you understand."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't Kathryn. Won't you at least accept the ring? You don't have to wear it on your left hand, you could wear it on your right or around you neck on a chain as a symbol of our love and the hope that everything works out for you, for us. We don't have to set a date now, a long engagement would be fine, I just want to know that, when the time is right, you'll marry me and we can spend the rest of our lives together. Would you be willing to do that, Kathryn?"

"No, Chakotay, I'm sorry, but I can't. Please, I'm not feeling too well, would you take me up to my room?"

He helped her up off the bench. "Of course. Kathryn, are you saying that… that you want me to leave?"

She wrapped her arms around him, "No, not at all, I'm sorry if you thought that's what I meant, you took me completely by surprise and I'm tired and I can't put my thoughts together very well right now. I love you and, no matter what happens, I will always love you, but I'm not at a point in my life where I can even consider getting married, that's all. Chakotay, I'm not making excuses, I really am tired, I'm not trying to get out of talking to you, we can talk more tomorrow, I promise. That was a lovely proposal and I'm honored by what you said and that you would want to marry me. I do love you, I didn't say no to hurt you, please don't be angry with me."

He picked her up and kissed her as he started walking back to the house. "I'm not, Kathryn. I'll be honest and I am hurt, but I could never be angry with you, I love you too much." Chakotay carried Kathryn upstairs, left her in her room with T'Ana and went back downstairs.

"There you are!" Gretchen exclaimed as she scooted Chakotay from the hall into the study. "So, did you ask her, may I make the engagement announcement now? Where is Kathryn, I know she cried, did she go to fix her makeup?"

He handed her the ring box. "Gretchen, Kathryn said no. She was tired so I took her upstairs and T'Ana is helping her get ready for bed, I was just on my way to tell you. I'm sorry, but if you'll please make excuses for me, I'm going to my room now."

She slipped the ring back into his jacket pocket. "Here, you keep this. I'm so sorry, Chakotay, I can't imagine why she said no, maybe it was just too soon? I'll go up and talk to her. Can you go back to the party and fill in for me for a few minutes?"

"I'm sorry, but I really don't think I could. I wasn't prepared, I guess I just got my hopes up too much or my ego was too big, I just didn't consider the possibility that she'd say no. The only way she could have stunned me more would have been with a phaser. She wouldn't even agree to accept the ring and wear it on her right hand or on a chain around her neck. Oh, Gretchen, I just love her so much!"

She took him in her arms and hugged him, "I know, Dear. Go on up to your room, I'm so sorry, but I know you two will get it worked out. She loves you too, I think maybe she's still insecure and confused, we have to remember it's barely been a week since she was kidnapped, lost several days of her life, almost died and then got arrested for it. Go on, I'll speak to Owen and ask him to keep the party going and then I'll go talk to her and we'll all talk about it in the morning.

The next morning Kathryn didn't come downstairs until after ten. She wandered around the house, still in her robe, until she found her mother on the veranda working on some needlepoint. Gretchen smiled at her, "There you are, but you shouldn't have come down the stairs by yourself, young lady! Did you sleep well, Katie?"

She kissed her mother and sat down beside her. "Good morning, Mom, I must have been more tired than I thought and, yes, I slept pretty well last night, must have been my beautiful new room! Thank you again, I really do love it and the party was wonderful. That's pretty, what is it?"

"It will be a pillow, a Christmas present for Aunt Betty, you know how she likes tulips." She put her needlepoint away. "I gave everyone the day off seeing how hard they worked and how late they were up last night. I'll go fix you breakfast, what would you like? I went up to talk to you last night, but you were already asleep. You looked so pretty last night, everyone said so."

"Thanks, Mom, I'm just sorry I left so early. Come on, I'll help you fix my breakfast, I need to move around to get myself going. Where's Chakotay?"

"Well, I don't know dear, he was gone when I got up, I slept late too."

"Gone, did he leave, Mom? He asked me to marry him last night and I said no. Oh, no, what have I done!"

Gretchen put her arm around Kathryn as they walked to the kitchen, "I know about it, he told me. Relax, Dear, his things are still here and none of the cars are gone, he probably just went for a walk or out riding so he could think, that's all. He'll be back, trust me, that man loves you too much to go anywhere, he's just upset you turned him down."

Kathryn poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat at the kitchen table. "I had to, Mom, I have no idea what's going to happen, I couldn't make a promise I might not be able to keep. He took me completely by surprise and I didn't have time to think, I had no idea he was going to ask me. He had your engagement ring, did you know he was going to ask me?"

Gretchen handed Kathryn a mug, "Here, you're not supposed to have coffee, but half a cup with milk in it won't hurt. "No, I gave him the ring weeks ago when he asked me what kind of a ring you'd like and I told him all about how and where your father asked me to marry him, but I didn't know he was going to ask you last night until right before he took you to the garden. Katie, why don't you think about it, you can change your mind, you know."

"I told him I'd talk to him and I will, but I won't even consider saying yes until after my hearing at least and I think I should talk to my counselor about it too, I'm just not so sure I'm ready to get married. It's not that I have doubts about him, I know he's the right person, I think it's me I have doubts about, that I could be a good wife to him." Kathryn mustered a little grin, "I also have a bad track record with fiancés, Mom, maybe I wasn't meant to get married?"

"Nonsense, Katie, hush! None of that was your fault and it has no bearing on the future. Won't you at least accept the ring from him and then, after your hearing, the two of you can talk about it some more and set a date and announce it then? I was going to leave the ring to you anyhow, so it really is yours. I'm not trying to talk you into it, Sweetie, if you don't want to get married you don't have to, but I'm just not sure you've really thought it through and I'm sure Chakotay would be very happy if you changed your mind. I know it sounds like something from junior high school, but you could be engaged to be engaged and wear the ring on a string around your neck!"

"Oh, Mom, that's silly!"

Gretchen slid a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Kathryn. "I don't know, Dear, it doesn't strike me as any sillier than wearing a tomato around your neck! I just heard the screen door, let me go see if it was him, you stay right there and eat." Gretchen rushed to the veranda. "There you are, where have you been? She thought you left her!"

"I'm sorry, I went for a long walk early this morning and I'm embarrassed to say, I got lost in the woods… some Indian I am!"

"That's OK, Dear, and I hear you're not too good at rubbing sticks together to start fires either. Katie is in the kitchen, she just got up a little while ago. Go talk to her and make sure she eats and she hasn't taken her medicine yet. I'm going to go upstairs and… well, I'll find something to do. Don't push her because you know damn well she'll push back even harder, but see if you can reason with her and talk some sense into her. I tried, but I don't think I got anywhere. Good luck, Chakotay, don't give up."

Gretchen went to her room and waited for almost an hour and then went back downstairs. She heard no voices coming from the kitchen, so she went in to start lunch. "Chakotay, I didn't expect to find you here alone, I thought you'd be with Katie. Did you take her upstairs to get dressed? How did it go?"

"Not well. It wasn't five minutes before she started crying and then she lost her breakfast, so I took her to her room, put her back to bed and she was asleep when I left. I called the doctor right away and he said to have her take her medication again when she wakes up and call him back if she vomits again. I'm sorry, all I did was upset her, I didn't mean to, we'd hardly even started talking."

"Well, it may not be your fault, I gave her a little coffee with milk and I know she wasn't supposed to have that, so that might be the reason and she probably ate too much rich food last night. She said she wanted to talk to her counselor about it, so maybe it would be best to just drop the subject for awhile. Just tell her you love her and be her friend. Maybe you could suggest that you two see her counselor together?"

"I guess so, but she just went on irrationally about how she couldn't be a good wife, she can't cook, she's not young anymore, she's lost her figure, she can't have babies… Oh Gretchen, she just got so worked up about things she knows don't make any difference to me, I just don't understand it! I thought she was over all the crying and getting upset over nothing?"

"You're right, there is no rationality to it, she just needs more time. Chakotay, you have to remember, she's been Captain Janeway 24-7 for the last seven years and it's going to take her some time to learn to be just plain old Katie Janeway again. Captain Janeway couldn't get married and have a life with you, but, if you'll be patient, I think you'll find that Katie will realize she can. She was doing well getting back to being herself, but now that her disciplinary hearing has a date, it's a reality and I think she's subconsciously back in captain mode again. Seeing Mark was probably a reminder to her that one of the first decisions she made as Kathryn was a bad one; yes, she needed to resolve things with him and I'm glad she did, but it also shook her self confidence again and she backtracked."

"Thank you, Gretchen, you're right. Have you ever thought of giving up being a mathematician and becoming a counselor?"

"Humph! I'm a mother, Dear, that makes me both. If you would make some lunch, I'm going to go upstairs and see if I can get Katie up and dressed. I thought after lunch we could go through the pictures from last night and chose some to put in the album, I know she'd enjoy that."

Kathryn felt better when her mother woke her and she dressed, came downstairs and ate as if nothing had happened earlier. Apparently both she and Chakotay had taken Gretchen's advice to heart and just let the matter drop for the time being. As they were having fun going over the pictures from the previous evening the com link interrupted them and Gretchen went to answer it.

"Chakotay, it's Admiral Paris for you."

He went and returned after only a few minutes and gave Gretchen a discrete wink as he sat. Kathryn handed him a stack of pictures and he looked through them as he spoke. "Well, it seems I have been asked to teach some classes at the academy even though I'm on leave, but the good news is it's just for a month. The regular instructor's baby arrived a month sooner than she'd planned, so they were stuck for someone until she's able to return. How would you two feel about it? I can say no if I want to, it was a request, not orders."

Kathryn sat her stack of pictures down, "I don't have a problem with it, when Starfleet calls you do what you gotta do! Mom will be back to work next week and I'm going to be busy with all my appointments with doctors, lawyers and the brass. I'm sure he wouldn't have asked someone on leave unless he were really stuck and we'll still have evenings and weekends together and it is only for a month. You would have probably been bored sitting around the house after awhile, you're one of those people who needs to stay busy, Chakotay. What will you be teaching?"

"Uh…," he faltered as he realized they hadn't planned that part of the ruse so that he could leave every day, work on Kathryn's house and keep it a secret. "I think he said shuttle operations, I wasn't paying attention very well."

She grinned, "Considering your track record with shuttles, they must have really been hard up if they asked you to teach that!" Kathryn laughed and playfully fought him off as he returned the pinch from the night before. He looked up from their tussle and exchanged smiles with Gretchen as they were both glad that she fell for the story and that she was laughing again.

The first week of the ruse went well. Chakotay would get up early, put his uniform on, beam to Starfleet and then go to Kathryn's house, change his clothes and work on it with whomever else showed up to help. At the end of the day he would shower, change back and beam home. Since Kathryn was only allowed to beam directly to her appointments at Starfleet and then had to beam directly home afterwards due to her detention, there was no chance she'd go to find Chakotay while she was at Starfleet. Everyone working on the house was aware of the plan and agreed to keep the secret. Admiral Paris would occasionally make a comment to her about Chakotay teaching there and one day Chakotay even showed up in uniform at Paris' office, so it was a well thought out plan as it had to be to fool a smart woman like Kathryn Janeway.

On Friday afternoon after her nap, Kathryn got up and grabbed her com badge off her desk.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

Chakotay grabbed his com badge out of his tool box, nervous as she'd never called him before. "Chakotay here, is everything OK, Kathryn?"

"Yes, I just woke up from my nap and realized I didn't ask you what time you'd be home tonight because I thought I'd invite my cousin Evelyn over so she could meet you. When will you be home?"

He looked at his watch. "Oh, I should be there by 1800, will that be OK?"

"What?"

"1800 Kathryn, is that too late?"

"What, I can hardly hear you! What's all that noise, it sounds like someone's hammering, where are you? What are you doing?"

Chakotay was so used to all the noise, he didn't really hear it himself. He tapped Harry on the shoulder, "Cadet, please stop for now, at ease!" Harry looked at him like he was nuts, but he stopped hammering. "I'm sorry, I was teaching them… uh… how to get shuttle doors open when they get jammed."

Kathryn laughed, "And you're teaching them to do it with a hammer?"

"Well, no, I told them to pretend it was an emergency and improvise. I've got to go, Kathryn, obviously they need a lot more training if they think a hammering is the way to do it. I'll be home by 1800, is that early enough?"

"Fine, Chakotay, just make sure you get those cadets straightened out."

"Yes, Ma'am! Chakotay out."

"Sorry, Chakotay," Harry said, "I didn't ruin it, did I?"

"No, she bought it, but next time I'll have to be more careful and remember to go outside or something. The noise we make doesn't sound like shuttle bay noise and she may recognize someone's voice in the background. As far as I know, she still has no idea, but she's not stupid either. Alright, Harry, let's get this drywall finished and spackle so it can be sanded and painted tomorrow. B'Elanna said she'd come by after dinner tomorrow night and install that closet organizer rack system thing, whatever it is."

"Does she need help? Please say yes, Grandma is coming and Mom is making dim sum again and I'll do anything to get out of it, anything, please just save me from Grandma and more dim sum, Chakotay!"

Chakotay chuckled, "That bad, Harry?" He nodded. "OK, just leave B'Elanna a note and I'm sure Commodore Torres will call and order you away on some important mission!"

The next week proved to be much easier as Kathryn was occupied most of the time with her lawyers, going over Voyager's logs with a fine toothed comb, and she was asleep most of the time when she wasn't doing that. The new closet and shed were finished, all the doors and windows returned to good working order and the new deck was close to completion. The floor tiles for the kitchen and bathroom finally arrived, so they could be put down and then the new bathroom fixtures could be installed. Finishing the house on time would still be a challenge, but if enough volunteers showed up each day and no more unpleasant surprises popped up, it was possible.

On Wednesday evening of the third week Gretchen had planned a little party and invited over some of her friends from the mathematics department at the university. After dinner the conversation soon turned to the finer points of something that was a foreign language to Kathryn and Chakotay, so they excused themselves and went out in the backyard.

Kathryn sat under a tree on a soft patch of moss and lamented, "I really feel like going for a walk down by the stream, but we can't because of this damned security monitor!"

Chakotay sat beside her and put his arm around her. "I'm sorry, but you'll get it out soon enough and then we can go to all those places you've been telling me about, you'll see! The doctor did another treatment on your scar today, didn't he, did it help?"

"She undid the top two buttons on her blouse and pulled it open to show him the scar along her collar bone, "I don't see much difference, do you?"

He grinned at her, "I sure do, Kathryn, look, you've got cleavage again! The scar looks about the same to me too, but wear your shirt like that and, trust me, nobody will notice."

She looked down, "I do have a little something coming back now, don't I?" She grabbed his roaming hand and kissed it, "You just stay out of there or I'll go tell Professor Suharian that you find Vulcan polynomials fascinating and want him to tell you all about them! The doctor said the puffiness and redness would go away in a day or two, so maybe my scar will end up looking a little better and he's going to treat it again in a week, but that should be the last one."

"Well, you just keep eating, Kathryn, because, trust me, the weight is going on in all the right places!" He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. "I like a woman with some meat on her bones and I definitely like what you've got going on there under your shirt!" He kissed her again and let his hand wander a bit before he leaned back against the tree and cradled her in his arms.

She let out a sigh and snuggled into him. "You know, Chakotay, I was thinking, what if, after my hearing, if everything goes OK, we take a trip to Vulcan? I had a long letter from Tuvok today and he invited us and said he'd like for us to meet his whole family. I've been to Vulcan several times, but I've never seen much beyond offices and conference rooms and he could take us to see things beyond the usual tourist traps." She leaned up and kissed him on the neck, "Even though Vulcan has no moon, I hear the nights there can be very romantic!" Getting no reply, she kissed him again, turned and rubbed her chest against his. "Mmmm, what do you say, Chakotay? Chakotay? CHAKOTAY!"

"Huh, what?"

"Here I am with my shirt half off, trying to get your attention and be romantic, and you have your mind offline for maintenance!"

"I'm sorry, Kathryn, I must have fallen asleep. What were you saying, where were we?"

"Chakotay, you fell asleep right after dinner last night, and, Monday night, you said you were tired and went to bed before ten, what's going on with you? Are you sick, why are you so tired lately? Do you have another girlfriend?"

"Of course not! I'm sorry, Kathryn, I'm not sick. I guess I just got lazy for awhile and now that I'm so busy I'm not used to it. Undo your shirt again and I'll stay awake, I promise, Sweetheart."

She slid off his lap. "Forget it, I think the mood has pretty much been destroyed. If you're that tired, you should probably go to bed early tonight. I have to see Ehytr at 0800 tomorrow instead of my usual time, so I'm going to bed early tonight too, I still can't seem to manage without less than at least nine hours of sleep."

"Kathryn, I am sorry!"

"It's OK, you're tired and I'm not too exciting, I understand."

"Kathryn, don't you ever say that, you're beautiful and very sexy! Come here and I'll show you just how excited you can get me."

She stood and smiled slightly, "No, I'm going to my room now, I want to go over the stuff my lawyers sent and then I think I'll turn in early. Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow."

He jumped to his feet, "I'll walk you to your room and I really am sorry, please let me make it up to you?"

"I can make it upstairs myself, but can you bring me a snack, maybe one of those nutritional supplement shakes I'm supposed to be drinking and a sandwich?"

"I'd be glad to, Kathryn, what kind?"

She reached up and kissed him, "Surprise me!"

Chakotay went to the kitchen to fix Kathryn a snack. "Gretchen, what are you doing here, did your guests leave already?"

"Yes, we mathematicians aren't a late night crowd, most of them have early classes tomorrow. I thought I'd make myself a cup of tea before I go upstairs. What did you and Katie do, did you have a good evening?"

"No, I'm afraid I did something stupid again and upset her. She went up to her room, I'm going to fix her a snack and see if I can make amends."

"What happened, Chakotay, you didn't propose to her again, did you? You know it's too soon! Put more cheese on that, she needs the calories."

"No, Ma'am, nothing like that. We went out to the garden and sat under the redbud tree and we were talking and she was in a romantic mood I think. Anyhow, I fell asleep. That's the worst thing a guy can do, isn't it?"

Gretchen took over making the grilled cheese sandwich. "No, it's not, but it's pretty high on the list." She grinned, "I'm just kidding! I know you've been working hard and beaming back to the house to work more some nights after she goes to bed, it's no wonder you're so tired. Don't worry, you can apologize and explain to her why you've been so tired after you surprise her with the house, she'll understand and it will more than make up for it. Why don't you take this sandwich up to her and then maybe you two can kiss and make up and then rumple the sheets a little?" Chakotay gasped at that remark. "It's OK, Dear, I know you've spent the night with Katie, I don't have a problem with it. I may be old fashioned, but nobody has ever accused me of being a prude."

"No, I, we haven't! I mean, I've spent the night in her room a couple times, but just when she had trouble sleeping, Kathryn and I have never made love or anything close. She said she wasn't ready for that and I haven't tried to push her. I think that's why she got upset, it's was the first time she tried to get something going and I'm so damn mad I fell asleep and ruined it. I know she's still self conscious about the way she looks and I probably just made it worse, she probably thought I wasn't interested in her."

"Well, there will be other nights and, if she can't tell by the way you look at her how pretty you think she is, then she needs to get her eyes checked." Gretchen added a cluster of grapes next to the sandwich as she sat it on the tray. "All right, you get up there and peel some grapes for my daughter and I'll see you two in the morning!"

Chakotay took the tray upstairs and found Kathryn's door slightly ajar, so he called her name and went in. She was already in bed and had an array of PADDs, pillows and her computer spread around her, however she was fast asleep. He put her snack on the nightstand, cleared everything off the bed, tucked her in and kissed her goodnight. She stirred when he did and awoke enough to return the kiss and say, "Goodnight and don't worry, I know you've been working hard at the academy and were just tired. I'm not upset, I love you."

Chakotay sat down beside her and kissed her again, "Goodnight, I love you too." He folded back the covers a little and pushed her nightgown aside enough to kiss her scar and the top of her breast, "and I happen to think you're the most beautiful woman in the world, I love you, Kathryn, I love you and don't you ever forget that!"

"I won't," she sighed as she drifted back to sleep.

A week later the tension level in the house had risen considerably as the date for both Kathryn's hearing and the renovations to her house to be finished were only four days away. Both of them were nervous and tired, but they managed to set aside their problems each evening and escape them for a few precious hours. Kathryn's appetite had started to wane and the doctor was concerned that she was no longer putting on weight and refused to take the sedatives he suggested. She wanted to stay mentally sharp and was afraid they would interfere, so he finally gave up hounding her as long as she didn't lose any more weight. Chakotay returned home tired to the bone since he had insisted upon refinishing all the antique oak cabinets in Kathryn's kitchen. Because the wood was so old, all of the work had to be done by hand and it was extremely tedious, slow and very tiring.

Chakotay trudged into the kitchen for a snack and found Komn preparing a salad. Komn looked up and flashed his ever present smile as he pulled out a chair for Chakotay at the kitchen table and brought him some juice.

Chakotay drank it down quickly and sat his glass down as Komn refilled it from the pitcher. "Merci, Komn, where is… um… où est Kathryn?"

"Elle est au bureau des avocats, Monsieur," Komn replied as he simultaneously made the gestures for talk and expensive.

Chakotay was so tired he was a little slow on the uptake. "Oh, her lawyer?" Komn nodded. "Et Mrs. Janeway?"

"Avec T'Ana, Monsieur, le quartier de commerce, le shopping." Komn picked up a loaf of French bread off the counter, "Un casse-croûte, Monsieur, I make for you, un peu du pain, des fruits, des fromages?"

"Ah, oui, Komn, that would be nice, merci." Komn continued speaking in French. Chakotay was too tired to even try to follow it, however he picked up that they were having something that involved cheese for dinner. Komn sat a plate of fruit, slices of cheese and a piece of bread on the table and returned to making the salad. Chakotay dove into it as he had only had half an avocado sandwich and some cold fries for lunch and was starving.

Gretchen, accompanied by T'Ana, burst through the kitchen door and asked, "Bon soir, Komn, hello, Chakotay, is Katie home yet?"

"Hi, Gretchen, no she's not."

"Good! T'Ana, hurry and take everything up to my room and hide it in my closet." She pulled out a chair and sat at the table as Komn brought her a glass of juice. "I got some more things for the new kitchen and I got you all some of the most wonderful towels and bed linens, wait until you see them! How is the house coming, will it be ready?"

Chakotay tossed his napkin on the table, leaned back and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, "I don't know, Gretchen, we're making good progress and I have about a dozen people coming tomorrow, but there's still a lot to be done and the kitchen cabinets are taking longer than I thought, they have to be done completely by hand. I could see where Kathryn had started on them, so I know she wanted to keep the original ones, you just can't get wood like that anymore, not even off world. The bathrooms and kitchen floor are all done and Tom and Harry finished up the deck today and the exterior of the house is ship shape now, but we didn't know the back yard went back so far, it's a mess, nothing but an overgrown jungle! I tried to hire some landscapers to do it, but none of them could even start until the end of next week. We can probably manage to get the front yard looking decent, but I don't think we'll be able to get to the back at all. Oh, and except for the bathrooms and new closet, nothing has been painted yet, the windows all need to be washed and on and on. If Kathryn goes to bed early enough tonight I'll do what I've been doing and beam back for a couple hours to work.

"Don't kill yourself, Chakotay, you'll end up sicker than she was, I don't know how you're getting by with so little sleep. Katie has her appointment in Colorado tomorrow and then Owen wants to see her, so I'll tell her I'm going to visit Aunt Betty and I'll beam out and help you. I know I'm not much help, but at least I know how to paint now and I can probably round up some people to help me. Why don't you go up and take a nap before dinner, Dear? Katie will be tired when she gets back, so I'm sure she'll nap too. You two can spend some time together after dinner, she said she wanted to use the pool tonight because it relaxes her."

"Yes, Ma'am, thank you, I'll see you later."

The next morning Chakotay was barely able to drag his bones out of bed as he had beamed back to the house just after 2100 and hadn't come home until a little before 0500. After a quick breakfast he beamed to San Francisco and Tom, B'Elanna and several other of Voyager's crew and assorted friends were already there and hard at work. He looked over the kitchen cabinet doors he had finished and left to dry earlier that morning and they looked wonderful. He was very glad he had opted to refinish them and do it by hand as fine old wood deserved to be treated that way and reflected the hard work with a patina that just could not be replicated. Mike Ayala walked into the kitchen and he was laughing so hard he could hardly catch his breath. Chakotay finally asked him, "Mike, what's so funny?"

Ayala broke into laughter again and finally stopped long enough to speak as tears rolled down his cheeks, "Chak, there's a guy at the door… there's this little old Bolian man at the door with a bucket and a mop and he's… he's dressed like a penguin and he says… I think he says he's your butler! He doesn't speak English, he must have the wrong house or something, but come on, you've just gotta see him, I've never seen anything so funny in all my life!"

"What?" Chakotay rushed to the door. It was indeed Komn with a bucket and a mop. He bowed politely and waved at the van parked in the driveway and about a dozen similarly attired little blue men armed with cleaning supplies rushed out and ran into the house, each bowing politely, introducing himself and greeting them as he entered.

Komn bowed again and smiled. "Monsieur Chakotay, Nous sommes French Bolian Butler's Union, nous faisons le ménage… we… uh… we make cleaning for Monsieur et Mademoiselle Kathryn, make house très bien, very good so much!" Komn bowed again and rushed off to instruct his fellow butlers.

Ayala was still laughing, "Who are they? Is it some kind of a joke, are they going to sing, is it someone's birthday or something? Is he really your butler? Don't tell me you got a butler, man, that's too funny!"

"No, Mike, he's Captain Janeway's mother's butler. Apparently he and his friends have come to help us." Ayala realized he was being rude and stopped laughing as best he could.

One of the butlers approached Chakotay, bowed and politely said, "Hello, Sirs, I am Arell, President of the French Bolian Butler's Union, I speak good English, please to tell me how we may assist you? What do we clean for you, Sirs?"

Chakotay shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Komn's friend Chakotay and this is my friend Mike Ayala. Thank you so much for coming, this is just so nice of you, we really need the help. Mike, why don't you show them what to do? All the windows need washing inside and out and all the light fixtures need to be taken down and cleaned and everything in the bathrooms cleaned up, the kitchen sink is a mess, the stove and fridge are dirty, the counters, inside all of the cupboards and closets, the built in bookcases, and the cobwebs have to be chased before we paint. Well, just tell 'em to find all the dirt and clean it up!"

Tom came and interrupted Chakotay. "Did you order a dozer and some sod and a bunch of flowers and bushes and trees, bags of mulch and stuff and who are all these Bolian guys and why are they dressed like that?"

"It's Mrs. Janeway's butler and his friends, they've come to help. I didn't order anything except for paint and some patio furniture, what are you talking about?"

"Well, stuff is materializing in the back yard, you'd better take a look."

Chakotay went to the back yard and there was indeed a dozer and also a huge stack of sod, two pallets of landscaping supplies and a container of various shovels, rakes and other tools. He and Tom inspected them, but there was no clue as to where they'd come from. Chakotay finally stood and scratched his head. "Well, this stuff is great, it's just what we need, I bet Mrs. Janeway had it delivered, but I can't spare anyone to do anything with it and I don't know how to operate one of those things, do you?"

Tom shook his head, "Nope, but I could try, can't be much harder than a shuttle, can it?"

Chakotay looked over the controls, "I dunno, Tom, you mess up with this thing and you could take out the house next door, it looks pretty powerful!"

"I assure you it is, Sir, however Raymond knows how to operate it properly."

"Stanak!" Chakotay gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Komn advised me that you required assistance with Miss Kathryn's yard and, since I am a gardener, it seemed logical that I should assist you. I have brought the workers from the farm and some friends and family members to assist me and the necessary supplies which Mrs. Janeway did indeed authorize me to procure." Stanak produced a PADD from his bag. "I have taken the liberty of designing a landscaping plan that I think will please Miss Kathryn and yourself and, with your approval, we shall begin at once."

Chakotay looked at the PADD, "Stanak, this is amazing, a lawn, trees, flower gardens, a vegetable garden, planters, a fountain and a pond… You can do all this in one day?"

"No, Sir, it shall require two."

Chakotay handed the PADD back to him, "Stanak, I don't know what to say!"

He raised an eyebrow almost as high as his daughter could, "I believe 'thank you' would be the customary response and quite sufficient, Sir." With that, he began unpacking the supplies and directing the workers.

B'Elanna stuck her head out the back door and yelled, "Hey, Chak, there's a guy at the front door asking for Mr. Janeway and I figure that would be you? He's got an antigrav with some boxes on it, it must be a delivery."

"OK, it's probably the paint, be right there!"

Chakotay signed for the paint and started carrying the boxes to the shed. As he came around the side of the house after the last one he ran right into Gretchen. "Hi there, Gretchen, you're just in time, the paint just arrived. Stanak and his crew are out back, thank you so much for sending them and for the supplies, that was so sweet of you!"

"Not a problem, Dear, it was his and T'Ana's idea to do it, I just told him to get whatever they needed. Well, I brought some people with me and we're here to work, so just tell us what to do."

"Wow! Well, if you'd like to paint, the walls are ready and I'll carry everything in and help you get started. Thank you for sending Komn too, that was quite a surprise!"

Gretchen scratched her head, "Komn, he's here?"

"Yes, Komn and a bunch of Bolian guys, they said they were the French Bolian Butler Brigade or something."

Gretchen smiled, "That little devil, he said he wanted the day off to go visit his sick brother! Well, come around to the front and meet everyone and then tell us what to do." Gretchen took Chakotay by the hand and led him back in front of the house where there was quite a crowd assembled. She pushed him in front of her and put her hands on his shoulders. "Everyone, this is Kathryn's not quite yet a fiancé Chakotay, he was her first officer on Voyager and I just adore him! Chakotay, this is Aunt Betty and her husband Uncle James, my friends from the garden club Mildred and Almeda and her husband Joe, Kathryn's cousin Andrew and his son Andy Jr., Tenzin, Miriam and Roy from the senior's chess club, my grand nieces Sophie and Katrina and, last but not least, Edward's nephews Stephen and Charles. OK, everyone, Chakotay is used to giving orders, so do what he tells you and don't forget, not a word to Katie, this is a surprise!"

Chakotay shook everyone's hand and thanked them, totally in awe of how many of Gretchen's family and friends had showed up to help. They carried in the paint and supplies and he got them started and, surprisingly enough, most of them actually knew how to paint or do something else useful. He took a peek out the back door and was amazed that the jungle was being beaten back and it was starting to look like a yard again. Gretchen came up to him, put her arm around him and he said , "You know, Gretchen, thanks to you, I'm finally starting to believe we can get this done!"

"Of course, I have it all planned out. Stanak says he'll be able to get done by tomorrow evening and then he's coming by Saturday to do anything left over. I told Kathryn that I was going to a symposium at MIT on Saturday, but Phoebe and her family and I are coming here and having all Katie's furniture and things beamed back from storage and I've hired a crew to unload the containers and put everything into place. Katie has to go see the doctor for a checkup tomorrow, so, while she's gone T'Ana, Komn and I will gather all the things I have for here at home and we'll have them beamed into your garage. Komn said he'll come by Sunday and make sure everything is clean, there's bound to be some dust that settles. I want to keep Sunday free so that we can spend the entire day with Katie, I know she'll be anxious about her hearing on Monday and we need to keep her calm and focused. Oh, and I ordered lunch for everyone, a lot of pizza should be here at noon."

"Wow, Gretchen, I don't know what to say, you're amazing, absolutely amazing!"

She looked up at him and grinned, "I thought you of all people would know better than to underestimate the power of a Janeway woman on a mission. She gave him a swat, "Back to work, slacker!"

"Aye, aye, Commodore Janeway!"

Chakotay was beyond tried when he beamed back to Bloomington on Friday afternoon. Kathryn was waiting for him at the door and handed him a bouquet of flowers from the garden and gave him a hug and a kiss.

"Thank you, Kathryn, what's this for?"

"To celebrate, this was your last day of having to teach, right? How come your hair is damp? She gave him a good sniff. "You smell like you just took a shower!"

"Uh, well, I did, I got pretty messy so I took a shower and put on a fresh uniform before I came home. Yes, this was the last day and I am very very glad! How are you, you went to see the doctor, right? What did he say?"

"Come on out to the veranda, I have iced tea ready and I picked some strawberries and there's whipped cream, sorry, but I was lazy and replicated it. The visit to the doctor was OK, but he wasn't pleased with my weight, he says I'm still too skinny. I try, Chakotay, I really do, but I just can't eat any more than I am and can't seem to get up to 50 kilos like he wants and I won't lie to you, I'm worried about Monday."

"Kathryn, everything will be fine and, like my grandma used to say, 'worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due' or something like that. You get the idea, you just need to rest and relax, so why don't you come upstairs with me and we'll take a nap together after we eat and snuggle?"

Kathryn sat on his lap and put her arms around his shoulders, "Well, as tempting an offer as that is, I took a nap when I got home and I am going to fix a special dinner for you, so why don't you eat some more and then take a nap? Before you run for the hills, T'Ana is helping me, I won't poison you again, I promise! What is Starfleet doing to you, you've been so tired lately, worse than me, I swear!"

He held her tightly and kissed her, "Don't you worry about me, I'm fine. I'll tear myself away from the most beautiful woman in the galaxy just long enough to rest up and then we'll just see about your cooking. Have I told you lately that you're beautiful and I love you?"

Kathryn tapped her chin, "No, I don't believe you have."

He held her even more tightly, "Well, you're beautiful, Kathryn Janeway, and I love every inch of you, from you cute little pink toenails all the way up to the top of your pretty red head and," he pinched her suggestively here and there, "Some of these parts in the middle are pretty good too, especially the soft round ones! Why don't you forget about cooking and come upstairs with me, Kathryn? Maybe I'm not as tired as I thought."

She delicately extricated herself from his embrace, "As tempting as that offer is, I'll take a rain check, I really do want to try to fix a nice dinner for you and Mom and… I think you need to cool off a bit," she said as she grabbed a handful of ice from the pitcher, stuffed it inside his shirt, ran for the kitchen and slammed the door before he could catch her.

The dinner was actually pretty good and preparing it tired out Kathryn and she went to bed very early, which would allow Gretchen and Chakotay to do the same without having to explain why they were so tired. Gretchen was very happy to tell Chakotay that they had accomplished almost everything that they had planned: the back yard looked wonderful, the garden club ladies had worked miracles with the front yard and the house would be ready for Kathryn on Monday. Komn would go the next day and see to the last minute details and prepare everything for the reception that Gretchen had planned at Kathryn's house after the hearing. Seeing how Komn and T'Ana had been working so hard, she opted to have the reception catered so that they could all sit and enjoy it. She and Chakotay were doing their best to be optimistic and Paris assured them they had every reason to be, but they were also haunted by the knowledge that it could turn into a virtual wake as Kathryn might not be there.

Gretchen slept late on Sunday morning and the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen quickly drew her to it. "Chakotay, what are you doing, where's T'Ana?"

He looked up from his array of pans going on the stove. "I hope you don't mind, she was obviously tired and I told her to go rest until time for lunch. There's coffee and everything will be ready in about five minutes, I thought I'd take Kathryn breakfast in bed to surprise her."

Gretchen poured herself some coffee and grabbed a slice of melon off a platter, "You're so sweet, Edward used to do that for me, you know, only what he made sure didn't look as good as what you're making. I thought they broke the mold when they made Kathryn's father, but I'm so happy to see I was wrong. Chakotay, I can't tell you what it means to me to know that Kathryn has someone like you."

He sat a plate and a glass of orange juice in front of her, "Well, thank you, but it's me that's lucky."

"Mmm, this is heavenly! So, what are you and Kathryn going to do today?"

He finished fixing Kathryn's breakfast tray and picked it up, "Whatever she wants, I just want to make sure she stays relaxed and she's happy. There's more of everything, help yourself, we'll be down as soon as she's eaten and gets dressed."

Sunday happened exactly like they planned, they just did the little things they enjoyed and cherished one another's company. Late in the afternoon Kathryn and Chakotay found themselves sitting on the bench by the fishpond as they often did.

Chakotay put his arm around her, "So, do you just want to cuddle up for awhile, want to go check out our tomatoes or I can bring your horse up to the backyard to see you again or are you tired?"

"No, Chakotay, I'd like to practice my opening statement for tomorrow on you to see what you think. Would you listen to it and give me your honest opinion?"

He was disappointed as he had hoped to keep her mind off tomorrow's proceedings, however he could hardly turn her down. "Of course, where's your PADD, I'll go get it for you."

She stood and pointed to her head, "It's all in here, Paris said it would have more impact if I memorized it rather than read it." She cleared her throat, stood at attention and began. It lasted about ten minutes, but, like the woman herself, he found it authoritative, compelling and indicative of a great deal of thought and logic.

"Damn, Kathryn, that was good! You said everything you needed to say and you said it well, it was passionate without making you look the least bit vulnerable and you made yourself very clear and nobody would doubt your conviction and dedication to Starfleet and its ideals. If I can make one suggestion, you stood at attention the whole time. I know you'll be in front of the brass, but I think it would come off better if you relaxed and gestured just enough to remind them that you are a real person and not just a stiff uniform standing there, maybe even walk around a little and get closer to them so you can look each of them directly in the eye. You normally gesture more when you talk, just do that and be yourself and you'll be a lot more comfortable and well… Human."

"Thank you, that's an excellent suggestion, somehow I thought I'd be chained to the table, but I don't have to be and you're right, that is what I'd be doing if I were addressing my crew or something like that, I'll be more relaxed. I'm sorry they won't let you be in the room too, that would help me so much."

He hugged her tightly and put his hand over her heart, "I'll be with you, Kathryn, and I'll be just outside with your mom waiting for you. It took getting lost in the Delta Quadrant to bring us together and we lost each other for a while, but we found each other again and there is nothing… nothing that could ever tear us apart now because we're no longer two separate people."

The rest of the day passed all too quickly. T'Ana prepared a lovely dinner with all of Kathryn's favorite dishes, however nobody felt much like eating. When time for bed came Gretchen went up with Kathryn and spent some time alone with her, trying to keep her positive. She kissed her daughter goodnight, went across the hall and gently rapped on Chakotay's door.

Gretchen wiped away a tear, "Don't worry, I didn't cry in front of her. Actually, she's doing better than I am, whatever you said to her this afternoon certainly boosted her confidence. Go on in and say goodnight to her, she wants to see you, but don't keep her up too late, she needs to go in there armed with a good night's sleep." She gave Chakotay a hug, "Thank you for taking such good care of both us."

Chakotay went into Kathryn's room and she pushed back the covers, "Would you please stay with me tonight? I'm worried I won't sleep well and I always sleep better when you're with me. Please?"

"Of course, Kathryn. Do you want me to get you one of those pills the doctor gave you, maybe it would be a good idea to take one tonight?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm afraid I might be groggy in the morning and, if I sneak some coffee to pep me up, I might get jittery or, worse yet, have to run out of the hearing to pee. Oh, gods, don't let that happen to me!"

He laid his robe across the foot of the bed next to hers, crawled into bed and snuggled up next to her. "Relax, everything will be fine, just remember the advice my grandma gave me and yours no doubt gave you too and remember to use the bathroom last thing before you leave home. I'd tell you to imagine them sitting there in their underwear, but, quite frankly, I wouldn't want to imagine what that ugly old hag Admiral LaCosta looks like in her underwear!

Kathryn giggled, "No, not a pretty picture! Thank you, Chakotay, I feel better." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "I love you, Chakotay, whatever happens tomorrow, I love you. I'm confident and I'm going in there tomorrow morning and using every ounce of passion, intelligence, reason and guile I have to fight for myself and my career and what Voyager and her crew accomplished, but you know as well as I do there is a possibility that I won't be coming home tomorrow… or for a very long time. If that's the case and I get sent to prison, there's one thing I want to take with me and that's a memory. Chakotay, would you make love with me tonight?"

He held her so tightly he almost hurt her, then kissed her and looked at her in the moonlight coming through the window. "No, Kathryn, I won't. I don't want it to happen because you're scared you might be going to prison, and I think that's why you asked me. I'm not saying that you don't want to make love because you love me and, heaven knows, I can't believe I'm saying no to the woman that I've dreamed of making love to for years, but I want to be sure our first time is for all the right reasons. You may not believe me and there was a time in my life I'm not very proud of when I wouldn't have said this, but I think making love is a very special spiritual almost sacred thing and should only happen for all the right reasons. I'm so positive that you and I will be together tomorrow night that I am willing to say no. Kathryn, if you still feel the same way tomorrow night, then ask me again and I promise you I won't say no."

"Chakotay, you're wrong about why I asked you, but you're also right. I was wrong thinking the memory I would most want to take is making love with you." She giggled and pinched him, "While I'm sure I'll never forget our first time together and it will be wonderful because I agree with everything you said, I think this is what I would want to remember the most. I want the memory of having you hold me and feeling like the safest and most loved person in the world, thank you for giving it to me." She kissed him and settled into a comfortable position. "Well, we had both better get some sleep because we have a big day tomorrow and I intend on coming out of my hearing a free woman who still has four pips on her collar and holding you to that promise you made and I have a feeling neither of us is going to get much sleep tomorrow night!"

He pulled her a little closer and kissed her, "You can count on it, Kathryn. Sleep well, I love you."

Kathryn, Gretchen and Chakotay beamed to Starfleet at 0845 for her disciplinary hearing scheduled for 0900. Her attorneys immediately grabbed her and took her off to discuss some last minute details and then Admiral Paris had some words with her for a few minutes, leaving her only about two minutes with her mother and Chakotay. Kathryn still looked pale and gaunt from her illness, however she glowed with self confidence and was as prepared and determined as she had ever been. An aide stepped out from the hearing room and called for her.

She hugged her mother and Chakotay and smiled, "Well, this is it! Whatever happens, I love you both, so let me get going because I intend to go in there and give them hell!"

Chakotay gabbed her hand one last time and slipped a piece of paper into it. Kathryn entered the hearing room with her head held high, walked down the aisle and took her place at the table with her attorneys. As the charges and specifications against her were read, she held the note Chakotay had given her under the table and discretely unfolded and read it: I BELIEVE IN YOU.

At exactly three minutes before noon Kathryn and Admiral Pairs emerged from the hearing room, side by side. They both looked totally spent and Kathryn didn't have the determination in her stride that she'd had entering. As Chakotay and Gretchen rushed to them, Kathryn and Paris split apart and Paris took Gretchen off one way as Kathryn took Chakotay off the other.

She leaned heavily on his arm, "Chakotay I need to sit down, I'm exhausted, it was much worse in there than I thought, I got royally grilled, put on a spit and then roasted."

He sat her on the nearest bench and took her hands, "Well?"

She looked down and drew in a breath, held it and finally let it out as she looked him straight in the eyes, "Well…, you still have to call me Ma'am!" she exclaimed as she rubbed her pips, wrapped her arms around him and hugged him with what little strength she had left. "I'll fill you in on all the details later, I got a very stiff reprimand, I'm on probation for the next year and let's just say I won't be making admiral anytime soon, but I'm free, I'm free and I still have four pips, a little tarnished maybe, but they're still there!"

Gretchen wrestled Kathryn away from Chakotay and gave her a hug, "Oh, Katie, Owen told me, I'm so happy for you, congratulations, Sweetheart!"

Owen grabbed Kathryn before she could speak and gave her a hug and a kiss, "Congratulations, Katie, you sure showed them what tough stuff you're made of in there and you did it with grace, your father would have been so proud of you. I'll be in touch, I have to run, I have to get to a… a staff meeting. Carry on, Captain!"

Gretchen grabbed her back again, "Well, Captain Janeway, what would you like to do now that you're a free woman?"

"That's easy, I want to go over to sick bay and get this damn implant out!

"OK," Chakotay replied, "And then your mom and I are taking you to lunch, I know a really special place, practically brand new and the atmosphere is great!"

Kathryn came out from having her implant removed, still rubbing the spot to make sure it was gone. "OK, let's go get a cab, I'm starving!"

Gretchen looked at Chakotay and smiled as she slid her arm around Kathryn's waist, "I don't think that will be necessary dear."

Chakotay did the same and tapped his com badge, "Chakotay to Admiral Paris, energize!"

Kathryn started to protest, but her words were caught up in the transporter beam. As they materialized on the sidewalk in front of her house, Gretchen and Chakotay had to support her as her knees went weak.

"It's my house!" she said as she steadied herself enough to take a few steps forward. She reached back for Chakotay's hand, "Chakotay, this is my house, oh, I thought it was gone? It looks so pretty, there's flowers in front now!" She turned to Gretchen and asked, "Mom?"

"Yes, Katie, it is your house and it's still yours. Why don't you take Chakotay inside and show it to him? Go on, Sweetie," Gretchen said as she opened the door.

Kathryn took a few steps inside and stopped again, "Mom, it wasn't like this before, this is all fixed up, it's so nice, it's beautiful! Look, there's new carpet and the hole in the dining room ceiling is gone and there's a chandelier and real dining room furniture now! Oh, my, there's even china and crystal in the china cabinet, it's beautiful! Look, Chakotay, a set of sterling flatware!" She picked up a piece, "And what's this, Chakotay?"

He took it from her and examined it closely. "Thought you could fool me, did you? That's easy, this is a tomato server, Kathryn, and that is an olive spoon, and that's a pickle fork, and this is a…"

"OK, Chakotay, you know your flatware! Mom, thank you, this is beautiful and it looks antique, where did it come from?"

"It belonged to your Great Great Aunt Winifred, but it's yours now, Katie." Gretchen herded them along, "Go on and see the kitchen!" Chakotay practically dragged her as he had never seen the completed kitchen either and was anxious to see how Gretchen's tomato theme turned out.

Kathryn squealed with delight when she walked into the kitchen, "I love it, it's all tomatoes, it's so cute, I just love it!" She twirled around and grabbed the curtains, "Where on Earth did you find these?"

"Your sister made them." Gretchen opened the cupboards to show Kathryn, "Look, you have a matched set of everyday dishes and pots and pans now, no more mismatched stuff stolen from Starfleet and Chakotay refinished all the cupboards for you by hand."

She put her arms around him and kissed him, "You did all this?"

"No, Kathryn, I had a lot of help, but if you're wondering why I've been so tired lately, well, now you know! I also have a confession to make, I lied to you, I haven't been teaching at Starfleet, I've been coming here every day. I didn't feel good lying to you, but it was the only way. Forgive me?" She melted into his arms and kissed him like she never had before. He caught his breath, "I'll take that as a yes."

Gretchen swatted at them, "Go on, show her what you did in the master bedroom and see if she likes the bathroom!"

He took her hand again, "Come on, I haven't seen it since they beamed the furniture back Saturday, I haven't been here since Friday, so this is a surprise for me too. Oh, Kathryn, look at this, it's wonderful! Tom and B'Elanna and I did a little something with the closet, take a look."

She opened the door and stepped in, "You converted it to a hanger deck, this is great! These are those new organizer things, they're wonderful!"

"They were B'Elanna's idea, she picked them out and installed them. Kathryn, there's something I got you myself and, if you don't like it it's OK and I can take it out, it's not authentic to the period of the house so your mom thought it was wrong and you wouldn't like it. Anyway, come on in the master bathroom and look." Kathryn went in, stood and surveyed the huge Victorian style claw footed tub. Chakotay went on, "It's not an antique, it's a reproduction, I couldn't afford a real antique, oh, you don't like it do you?"

She climbed in the tub and sat down. "It's awfully big and I don't like it, I love it! I bet it holds two, get in here with me!" Chakotay climbed in to face her and they found that the tub was indeed quite comfortable for two people. Kathryn took his hands, "Chakotay, I can't believe all the hard work you put into this house and how you have been there for me for the last seven years, but especially in the weeks since we got back. I know it hasn't been easy at times, but you never gave up on me, like your notes said, you believe in me. Restoring this house was a dream I had when I bought it and now you have made it come true, I don't know how I can ever thank you enough."

"I'm glad you like it, seeing the smile on your face was all the thanks I need. I know you've had a very rough time the last couple of months and I'm just so glad that it's finally over and now you only have good things to look forward to. I'm very happy that I was able to help make one of your dreams come true and now I would like to ask you to help me make one of my dreams come true, so, Kathryn, will you please marry me?"

A crooked smile crept to her lips, "Oh, Chakotay, yes, yes I will!" She crawled up onto his lap and kissed him. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

"Good, because it just so happens I have a very special ring here, may I put it on your finger?"

She held out her left hand, "Oh yes, please."

He slipped the ring on her finger and kissed it. "I love you, Kathryn, and I'll do everything I can to make sure all of your dreams come true for the rest of our lives. They melded into one as they exchanged passionate kisses.

"There's something you don't see every day!" exclaimed Gretchen, "Two Starfleet officers in uniform, sitting in a Victorian bathtub making out. I take it you were showing her the bathtub and you accidentally fell in? What in the world are you two doing sitting in there?

Kathryn held out her left hand, "Getting engaged, Mom!"

"Oh, Katie! Congratulations, the ring looks so nice on you! Congratulations to you too, Chakotay, but why in heaven's name did you ask her in the bathtub of all places?

He shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno, seemed appropriate and she did say yes, didn't she?"

They climbed out of the tub and the three hugged before they returned to the kitchen. Gretchen asked, "So, Katie, what do you think of your house?"

"I love it Mom, I just love it, but it's not my house, it's our house! Chakotay and I are going to live here together and be very happy, this is our house, this is our home."

"So it is. Well, I think the first thing the two of you should do is have a cook out on the deck to thank everyone who worked so hard to get the house finished by today."

"Oh, yes, Mom, we will, but the house doesn't have a deck, remember?"

Gretchen opened the back door and said, "I wouldn't be too sure about that, Katie," as she shoved her outside.

"SURPRISE!" the crowd shouted as they rushed towards Kathryn and blanketed her with hugs and kisses. Everyone who had worked on the house was there and soon the music started and the caterers started serving traditional cook out food as the drinks flowed. Once the drinks had taken hold, the dancing started and everyone was having a wonderful time, it was truly a party as joyous as the occasion. Kathryn made her way through the crowd and did her best to speak with everyone and find out exactly what their contributions had been.

Kathryn shut the music off and had Chakotay try to help her to get everyone's attention. Tom finally stuck his fingers in his mouth and produced a shrill whistle, which did the trick. She bowed politely, "Thank you, Tom, you'll have to show me how to do that some day, it could come in handy at staff meetings. I would like to thank everyone for coming today, but what I would really like to do is thank everyone for all your hard work. This house is absolutely beautiful, I can't believe the job you did and every moment that I spend in it I will be thinking of all of you, my dear friends and family, who worked so hard. I'd especially like to thank the members of Voyager's crew, step to the front people!" They remained in place, so Kathryn put her hands on her hips. "Step to the front, that's an order, I still get to give them you know! These wonderful people spent the last seven years going through hell and high water with me to get Voyager back home and gave so much and it just really touches my heart that all of you would now give up your leave time and come here to help do all this. I thank you all so much, I am truly blessed and privileged to have friends and family like all of you and, Mom, you're just totally amazing, I love you! Oh, and there's one more thing I'd like to say, this wonderful man standing here beside me asked me to marry him about an hour ago and I said yes."

Applause erupted anew, someone turned the music back up and the party swung into high gear. Kathryn and Chakotay eventually separated and made the rounds thanking everyone and showing off their new home and Kathryn her engagement ring. Finally Chakotay found Kathryn again, handed her a plate of food and they snuck off together and sat on a little bench at the very back of the yard, by the vegetable garden.

"Eat something, Kathryn, I bet you've been so busy you haven't eaten much."

She shoveled a forkful of potato salad into her mouth, "Umph, I haven't, this is delicious!" She sat her plate down and ran over to the tomato plants, "Look, Chakotay, I think, I think these are the same ones!"

He bent down and inspected them, "Oh my gosh, they are, I don't believe it, he must have dug them up this morning and beamed them here and replanted them, they were in Indiana last night, I saw them!"

She retuned to the bench and started eating again. "We are truly blessed, aren't we?"

"Yes, Kathryn, and I think your party may have started something, did you see the way the EMH and Pulaski were carrying on? Who knew she could dance like that?"

"Apparently he did, they look to me like they've been dancing a few times before. Have you noticed that T'Ana has been talking to Vorik the whole time, apparently he shares her enthusiasm for deciphering ancient Vulcan glyphs. Chakotay, have you given any thought to what kind of wedding you'd like to have? I would like to incorporate elements of your traditions as well. What do you want?"

"Kathryn, as long as you show up and say I do, I don't care! What would you like? How soon do you want to get married, you wouldn't want to elope tonight would you?"

"No, silly, Mother would never forgive us, but I think it should be soon, while we still have leave. I'd like to get married at home, well, in Bloomington I mean, a small civilian wedding, I want to wear a white dress and all and you already have a tux. I think Mother would like that too. Would you like that?"

"I think you'd be beautiful in a white dress, why don't we start making plans tonight after everyone leaves? You do want to stay here tonight, don't you?

She put down her plate and smiled. "Yes, I do want to stay here tonight, but, trust me, Chakotay, we're not going to be making any wedding plans tonight," she said as she pulled him to her and joined him in a kiss, "I think we'll find something much more interesting to do than that!"

SIX MONTHS LATER

"Hurry up, Chakotay, and light the candles, I want everything to be perfect!"

He kissed her as he put the hors d'oeuvres on the coffee table, "Relax, Kathryn, this is just a dinner party, not a coronation, everything will be fine! You said you've known Laurie and her husband since high school, do you really think they're going to care if the Hollandaise sauce is a little lumpy?"

Kathryn ran to the stove and tried to beat the sauce to death with a whisk again, "No, but, oh, I should have let you make the sauce! Did you remember to put out the asparagus server when you set the table? Oh, help me get these lumps out!"

"Yes, Kathryn, and the sauce ladle too, I know what all the forks are for now, remember? Come here, I'll show you which lumps I like best, you sexy little sauce maker, you!"

"Oh, there's the door! Well, I guess it's chunky style Hollandaise sauce now!" They went to the door and opened it to a huge bouquet of flowers. "Laurie!" Kathryn squealed as she and one of her oldest and dearest friends embraced. "Oh Laurie, gods you look wonderful, you haven't changed a bit and you either, David! Please come in. Chakotay, this is Laurie and her husband David that I've told you so much about and I'd like to introduce you to my husband Chakotay."

They all shook hands and went to the living room after they'd had the grand tour of the house. Chakotay opened the wine they'd brought and served it as they all settled on the sofa.

Laurie hugged Kathryn again, Oh, Katie, I can't believe it's been almost eight years. I'm so sorry we couldn't make it to the wedding, how long have you been married now?"

"Three months tomorrow," she took Chakotay's hand, "Three wonderful months!"

"Congratulations," David offered. "Katie, these cheese puffs are delicious!"

"Thank you, but Chakotay made them, I'm afraid I'm still not much of a cook, but I'm learning."

Laurie popped a cheese puff into her mouth, "Umm, they are good! Katie, your house is so beautiful, I can't believe it! I remember when you showed it to me when you bought it and I thought you were crazy buying a dilapidated old dump, but what a job you've done with it, it's just gorgeous!"

"Thank you, but I can't take the credit, it was all Mom and Chakotay's doing and a lot of wonderful friends and family that helped out."

"Katie, do you have any pictures from your wedding?"

Chakotay stood, "Stay there, Kathryn, I'll get them. Of course, we have plenty. Do you think Kathryn's mother would let a wedding happen without lots of pictures?" He laid the albums in Kathryn's lap and they all sat close together to look at them.

"Ohhhhh!" Laurie shrieked, "Look at your gown, oh, Katie, you look so beautiful and, my gosh, your mom doesn't look a day older and look at Phoebe! I wish we could have come, this looks like a story book wedding if ever I saw one, everything was perfect!"

Chakotay chuckled, "Thank you, but not everything was perfect, Kathryn's uncle Judge Janeway was supposed to marry us, but his shuttle broke down and he never made it."

Kathryn continued, "Yes, there I was in the study in my beautiful gown, with all my bridesmaids, waiting to make my grand entrance into the parlor for the wedding and in comes Phoebe's husband to announce that everything was ready, Chakotay was standing in front of the fireplace waiting for me and there was nobody there to marry us!"

"Oh my gods, Katie, what did you do?"

"Well Mom made call after call, but she couldn't get anyone, not even a rabbi, justice of the peace, Starfleet chaplain, Bajoran monk, Hindu guru, self proclaimed profit, you name it to come to the house on such short notice. Finally she went out and did the only thing left and started asking the guests if any of them happened the have the authority to perform a marriage. I think I was totally in tears by then, but Mom came back and said there was someone there who could legally perform the ceremony, so I pulled myself together and went out there and married him!" Kathryn exclaimed as she squeezed Chakotay's hand.

"Oh, Katie, Chakotay, you poor dears, what a nightmare! Well, I'm so glad your day wasn't ruined, you were so lucky there was someone there who could do it. Who ended up performing the ceremony?"

Kathryn smiled and kissed Chakotay and they replied together, "The butler did it!"

FIN

As always, many thanks to Jadie for all her help and inspiration, this one is for you and Stan!