Haruno Sakura was not popular. Most people just paid her no attention. That was not the case with Yamanaka Ino. Ino had once been Sakura's friend—her only friend. Then one day she started ignoring Sakura. When Sakura finally got the hint and accepted her lonesome existence, the bullying began. Ino, now surrounding herself with other popular girls, seemed to have made it her mission to put Sakura down whenever she could. Sakura had figured out the best routes throughout the school to avoid Ino. But that didn't help whenever school was over and Ino would be waiting outside, nor did it help when fourth period came around and they shared the same classroom.
Five more minutes. Five more minutes of peace. Sakura wanted to value every last second, but knowing what was about to happen brought the opposite effect. The second hand of the clock just kept moving, and moving, bringing the memories to the surface and the associated fear. She glanced at the back of Ino's head. Just go away, she thought. Let the bell ring, and make Ino disappear.
It rang. She threw her things into her backpack, not even bothering to zip it up.
The door. The door. She walked as quickly as she could, right past Ino. But the cage of students prevented her from getting out the door. Imprisoned behind bodies clogging her escape, Sakura glanced back. Ino was chatting with another girl. Her eyes moved and locked onto Sakura's. She smirked. Sakura, her heartbeat spiking, turned back to her fleeting hopes of safety. Just go, please, she thought.
It cleared. Her freedom was right in front of her. She took a few steps out of the classroom and turned down the hall.
"Where do you think you're going?" asked the familiar voice she once had cherished. "Face me when I'm talking to you. And don't you dare try and walk away."
"Please," Sakura whispered. She strangled the strap of her backpack.
"Begging now? You're so pathetic," Ino said. Her friend snickered. "I told you to turn around."
Other students walked past, some entering the classroom she had just left the safety of. Didn't they notice what was going on? Of course they did. They acted like they didn't, like they didn't know Sakura, but she knew them all. Most of them had been classmates for over ten years now.
Sakura turned towards the other two girls. She hung her head and stared at Ino's sneakers. A nice shade of pink, she thought. Her eyes felt like they were about to leak.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, you flat bitch," Ino said.
Sakura felt the little calmness the sneakers gave her fade further and further away as she passed Ino's legs, her thighs, abdomen, and her chest. When she met Ino's eyes, she flinched. The friend was standing by, grinning with brown eyes and matching medium-length hair. Sakura couldn't deny she was pretty.
The hatred in Ino's face relaxed for a second. She almost looked like the friend Sakura had lost. Then Ino narrowed her brows and showed her teeth as the corners of her lips curved up. "On second thought, get that ugly shit out of my face," she said.
Sakura couldn't think she was happy to, but she obliged, and felt some relief. "Why?" she asked under her breath.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Ino asked.
"Why do you do this to me?" Sakura asked, despite feeling paralyzed.
"Why? Because you deserve it."
Deserve it? What had she even done to Ino? Maybe she did deserve it, but Ino couldn't know that. "Why? Why do I deserve this?" Sakura asked.
Ino glanced to her friend. "You've got class next, right?" she asked. The friend nodded. "Get going then. I need to take care of this."
The friend shrugged and walked away.
Ino narrowed her eyes, and her lips became something ugly. She grabbed Sakura by the arm. Sakura's eyes darted around. It was deserted around them now.
"There's no one, Sakura," Ino said.
"Someone might hear."
"Fine. Have it your way."
Sakura was jerked forward. It felt like her shoulder would dislocate. The two ended up around a corner and inside a portion of wall that indented ten feet in. Perhaps there were once plans to put a janitor's closet there.
Surrounded by tile on three sides, Ino thrust her palm out. A violent vibration went up Sakura's spine as she felt her back slam into tile. Her head snapped back, then throbbed. Ino got in Sakura's face. "You think I'm stupid? Think I'm an idiot?" she asked. The words were fuzzy.
"Ino, I don't know what you mean," Sakura said. She shrank, just a little bit. It was all she could do. Ino didn't hesitate to take advantage of this. Sakura was consumed by Ino and her looming shadow.
Sakura dropped her bag. Notebooks poked out of it.
"Why do you think I stopped hanging out with you?" Ino asked. Her lips were doing that ugly thing again, and the anger never left her eyes.
"Because I'm a loser," Sakura said, "just a pathetic loser." Her lips trembled, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. It wouldn't be long before she couldn't hold back the tears.
"You are, but that's not why," Ino said. She pushed closer. Her lips, though forged in anger, glistened a soft, sweet color. "Sakura, do you think I didn't notice the way you started looking at me? The way you still do?"
Sakura took in air so quickly that it stung her throat. A dream-like quality overcame her, and she thought she recognized the girl in front of her as someone from the past.
"Hey, Sakura. How are you doing today?" Ino had asked.
"I'm good, Ino," she had said. In truth, that was a lie until just then. Eating alone had hurt. It was even worse because people had been nearby, but they chose to ignore her, sitting as far away as possible. But Ino had made her smile. Ino had made her feel loved. And Ino is pretty.
"Yeah, kinda like that," Ino said. She might have added some profanities and shook Sakura.
Sakura strained to see. "Ino, I..."
"Just shut up!" Ino said. She clenched Sakura's shoulder. A sharp sensation went through it.
"You're hurting me, Ino."
"Then why do you still look like you want to get in my pants?" Ino asked. She didn't just look angry anymore.
The expression bore more weight on Sakura. She looked into Ino's eyes. She told herself she hated Ino, but then her thoughts shifted to making excuses for her. It was admirable, in a way, how Ino did whatever she wanted. Sakura could never be like that. There was no courage in her, and she feared the backlash and rejection. She felt her cheeks heat up.
"What's wrong with you?" Ino asked. "I don't like you!" She wrapped her fingers under Sakura's chin. She got closer to Sakura. The conflicting emotions: lost friendship, lust, and hatred all boiled together perfectly to create the strongest desire she had ever felt. Those lips looked so good. She could just forget about the physical pain and pretend Ino acted this way because she was in denial about her love for Sakura. Sakura didn't deserve any better anyway. Ino was right. There was something wrong with her.
Sakura didn't have to fight herself for long. Ino pressed her lips into Sakura's. It was light at first, but then Sakura felt pressure against her teeth. She shut her eyes and parted her mouth a little. Like with everything, Ino acted without hesitation. Her tongue tasted like wet, hot pleasure, just a little rough and fleshy. Warm water ran down Sakura's cheeks and Ino snapped her hand back.
The sweet sensation left Sakura's lips, and she opened her eyes. Ino was watching Sakura, whose mouth was still slightly opened. "There! Are you happy now? Or do I have to fuck you first?" Ino asked. She tilted her head, frowning. "Well? Do you want my fingers up your pussy or not?" Air touched underneath Sakura's skirt. "Huh? Say something!" Ino's fingers tickled Sakura's inner thigh then moved onto her crotch. "Holy shit, Sakura. Are you seriously getting off on this? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Ino stared at Sakura with a disgusted expression, then turned and started to walk away.
"You were my only friend," Sakura said.
Ino glanced back. "You're sick," she said, "get help," then continued to walk. "Consider yourself lucky that I don't tell anyone." She disappeared around the corner.
Sakura slid to the ground. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. Try as she might, she couldn't hold back every sound of crying.
The bell rang. She was going to miss lunch.
That's okay, Sakura thought. She wiped her eyes and felt a little lighter. She sighed and looked at her backpack and the notebooks peeking out. The top one had a piece of painter's tape across it. On it read: Chemistry. Somehow, she thought it looked like art. A pain went through her teeth as her jaw clenched, and she backhanded the top notebook. It slid across the ground, folding pages over in the process. "Damn it," she said.
When she couldn't stand sitting in her self-loathing any longer, Sakura gathered her backpack, putting the notebooks in correctly, then walked to the one she had hit across the floor. She picked up the notebook and unfolded the pages, examining the one that had contacted the floor. The graphite was smeared in many places, and it was otherwise dirty. This was why she needed to buy some pens.
Stupid, Sakura thought, everything you do is stupid.
Sakura shambled into the hallway, not paying particular attention to what she was doing. She walked until she reached a door. Shoving it open with her forearm, Sakura entered, and stopped in front of a sink. Her reflection looked back at her, eyes glassy and puffy. It was an appropriate look for her. Maybe someone could find her attractive, if they could see the real her.
Ino had kissed her. She had nearly raped her, yet, somehow, that had already stopped bothering Sakura.
You're sick, Ino's words rang through her head.
Why was she wet then, and why was she still so wet? She glared down at her crotch, wishing she could just rip it away.
"Fine," Sakura said. If that's how it was, why not embrace it?
She turned from the mirror and walked to a stall, slamming the door open. The smacking sound startled her, and she shut the door quietly after getting in.
You're fucking disgusting, are you, Haruno Sakura? she thought, sticking a hand down her skirt. Fuck it. Fuck it all!
She glided a finger up and down a lip, but Ino kept creeping into her mind. Despite some part of her wanting to fuck her, she hated Ino too much and tried her hardest to shove those thoughts aside. Go away! she thought, rubbing almost viciously. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't climax.
With a cry, she spun into the stall door, slamming her shoulder into it, then leaned against it as one would a parent. She slid down it and sat on the floor, whimpering.
She was a sick, pathetic, flat chested bitch, and she couldn't even get off like one. Why was life so cruel? Fine, she thought, I'll just off myself tonight. That's what it wanted her to do, after all.
Sakura heard the bathroom door open, and she tried to suck up all her tears. Maybe if she stayed silent whoever was there would leave her alone. The tension was too much, though, and Sakura moved her head a little, her hair scratching against the stall door. It probably didn't make any noise, and surely the person was just going to notice her sitting on the floor anyway, but she hated herself for it, nonetheless.
"Sakura?" a small voice asked. Her footsteps drew closer to the stall Sakura was in.
"Go away," Sakura said. Her cheek was starting to stretch against the plastic. The girl already knew she was there, so it didn't matter anymore. Sakura repositioned herself, leaning her back against the door.
"I'm going to go get a teacher," the girl said.
"No!"
"Then talk to me, Sakura."
Sakura sighed. "Who is this?" she asked.
"Hinata," the girl replied.
Hinata? That girl blessed with a perfect figure, beautiful dark hair and uniquely colored eyes? She was shy and didn't have many friends, but how she was popular with the boys. That's not to say Sakura knew a damn thing about her personal life, but she saw how boys looked at her, and there were often rumors of her being asked out. Though, Ino went through boys like mad, so to even compare the two would be silly.
"What do you want?" Sakura asked.
"Just to talk. I...I heard what she did to you."
"You...you did...?" Sakura asked. She felt caged again, and wanted to run and hide.
"Not all of it. I'm sorry, Sakura."
"Why do you care?" Sakura asked. She put a hand on the bathroom floor. Filthy, she thought, but left it there anyways.
"Because...I...I'm a jerk. I saw what was going on all this time, and I convinced myself I was mistaken. That it wasn't my place. But that...I'm sorry. How long has she been hurting you?"
"Years," Sakura said. "Two, three. God, I'm so pathetic. Sitting on a bathroom floor, talking to someone who doesn't even know me."
"Don't say that, Sakura," Hinata said.
Footsteps echoed against the tile. They stopped in front of the stall door. Sakura felt the door shake and heard cloth scrape against it. Then she felt soft, warm flesh atop her hand. Fingers caressed hers. A fuzzy feeling, one she hadn't felt in years, filled her up. Then embarrassment. That was the hand she had had down her panties. Should she say something? How could she? She was so awful.
"I'm attracted to girls, too," Hinata said.
Bewilderment stunned Sakura. "Reh-really?" she asked.
"Yes. It's been lonely. So lonely. I can only imagine how you've felt."
Sakura's lips trembled as she tried to hold back the sound of a cry. Just as she thought she had accomplished it, a lowly whimper escaped her. Then another, and she tried to choke back others.
"It'll be okay, Sakura. I'll be your friend. I promise."
Sakura sniffed and clenched over her heart with her free hand. "She'll hurt you too," she said.
"That's okay, if she does. I won't leave you."