Title- Communication is Key
Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (What else?)
Time Set - Immediately after "You've Been Gilmored"
Summary- Lorelai Misses Him. What happens when she lets him know? A two-shot.
Lorelai's POV
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I came home alone. Again. After another hell-ish Friday night in Satan's Palace. Then again, I'm not completely alone. I've got Paul Anka. I miss him though; not Paul Anka, Luke, my fiancée. He's been distant lately. He doesn't come home at night anymore. He always has an excuse. I want to blame April, but it's also Luke's fault. And maybe even a bit mine. He should have told me and not waited those two months. I know he was confused but, still.
Luke was supposed to come home tonight. To our home. With me. Together. He has early deliveries tomorrow, though. I don't know how to tell him I'm hurting. That what he's doing is killing me. He needs to know that I'm here for him. That we're in this together. Forever.
Should I leave him another rambling message on his phone? Send him a freakin' singing telegram? I know for sure that I can't talk face to face with him. I really don't want to see his reaction to all this. He might get too mad. Does he even love me anymore? A letter! That's it. It's in all the movies. I grabbed a notebook full of paper and a pen and went upstairs to my bedroom. Our Bedroom.
Luke,
Okay, so I know I'm risking a lot writing this, but I really want to get through to you, and I think this is the only way. I feel a little stupid, writing this letter while I could be talking to you if I just walked a couple minutes down the street. But, that's the reason. You're at the diner and its ten o'clock at night and you have no intentions on coming home tonight to our house. You have early deliveries tomorrow. I know. But what is going to happen when we get married? If we ever do. (It's all coming up, babe. Wait a couple paragraphs.) Are you going to stay at the diner every time you have deliveries?
You haven't stayed at the diner since we got engaged. But then, April show's up ad it's like you can't get away faster. I'm hurting so bad, Luke. You wanted to postpone our wedding. You haven't moved in. You kept April from me for two months and I still haven't met her. Why won't you let me meet her, Luke? I'm going to be her step-mom.
I'll start out with the postponing of the wedding. All I have is to ask why? Why would you want to postpone it? June third was supposed to be the best day of my life (aside from the day Rory was born). We were supposed to be finally married. Husband and Wife. Why all of a sudden do you want to postpone it? It's only a couple months away, but with my help we could have everything under control. Nothing will be that confusing. Do you love me? Do you want to marry me? I've never loved someone before you, Luke, don't you understand that? I also know that finding out about April must have been confusing but I need you to tell me these things. You use to be able to always tell when there was something wrong with me, but now, you just don't even pay attention. If I walked into the diner you could somehow tell how I felt. What happened to make you stop noticing?
I've never thought I could depend on someone the way I do with you. I've always been this independent woman that could do anything on my own but now that I have you, I can't do it on my own. When I proposed I wasn't kidding. I wasn't looking for a man to keep me warm while my daughter went into a wild phase. I saw you standing there, saying how we could get Rory back into Yale, together. That's when I realized that you finally got it. That Rory was part of the package deal with me and I know you love her, the way you always were so protective of her. How you thought Rory deserved a Prince. She doesn't need a Price, just someone that will love her and treat her like she's the world the way you have always been with me.
Why haven't you moved in? Did you just think I needed comfort while Rory was gone? That you needed to say yes and that April is finally an excuse to get out of this crazy relationship and that I truly do belong in a mental institution? I want you here, Luke. With me, holding me at night, for the rest of my life. I'm scared and excited whenever I think about it. Falling asleep every night together and waking up with you. We renovated this house I am in so we could start a new life and now you're never here. I am so lonely at night. I was used to sleeping next to you every night and now, once in a while. I was supposed to reward you tonight (dirty, I know and I intended it to be), but you didn't come home. And as bad as it sounds, I can actually feel a little, tiny, bit of how Nicole must have felt when you never came home. It's sad and it hurts.
And finally, why didn't you tell me about April? What happened to the no secrets, Luke? We sat in that amazingly comfortable chair up in your apartment and promised. Did you think it just didn't apply to you? It just, it hurts so bad that you're keeping me away from her. Do you not trust me to be with her? Did you not trust me enough to tell me? I can help you out with her, I've raised a daughter, we can do it together. We are melding two lives into one and I'm really ready. I want to be married to you. I want to have kids. Will we still have kids? Now that you have April is that enough? I want to raise a little kid or two with you, watch them grow up and have you by my side the whole time. But we need to talk. This whole not talking thing, it broke us up before and I can't let that happen again. I need you. I need you to talk to me and let me help. I just hate that you can't confide in me the way I do to you. Communication is key in our relationship. If we don't talk, we get distant. I hate that because I love you. I really do. Never like this before too and it's scary so please talk to me.
Yours only and forever,
Lorelai Gilmore(Danes-hopefully-to-be)
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I packed the letter into an envelope and wrote Luke on the front. I checked the clock. Quarter of eleven. I could just walk to the diner, give it to him and leave. I don't want to stay for his reaction. If he loves me, he'll come after me. The thought scares me a bit because what if he doesn't?
I slipped on a sweatshirt and ran down the stairs with the letter in my hand; I had a couple of tear stains dripping down my red and puffy eyes. I slipped into a pair of shoes and opened the door to meet a cold surge of wind. I was going to Luke's no matter what. We needed to get this figured out.