I did not expect him to actually be there in the flesh. I had been avoiding him this whole tournament. It was bad enough that when he went to the CWC, I felt betrayed by him leaving and to the WWE of all places. I knew they wouldn't appreciate him there. That they would use him just because of his name and popularity which is exactly what happened.
I couldn't even bring myself to mention or think his name after that. He broke my heart when he left. He was my first and you never forget your first. Jesus I need to stop. My head is still spinning.
I can still see his face, his eyes full of concern. I was like a moth drawn to a flame. His touch sent electricity through me. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. My hand draped over his but I knew if I stayed there, I would do something foolish and I didn't want to do it in front of so many cameras. That's why I pushed his hand away from my chest and walked away.
I can't, I just can't. I built this wall for a reason and he has no right to come back into my life.
I remember telling myself that over and over in the hotel room as I relaxed from the finals of the G1. A hot shower loosened my sore muscles a little even though I still felt pain crashing over me in waves. I almost didn't hear the soft knock on the door. It could be Matt or Nick coming to check on me. I barely said two words when we left the arena.
I still had a towel wrapped around my waist when I answered the door. Jesus why did it have to be him? Kota was standing on the other side, his hair resting in his eyes which were full of concern and longing.
I was tempted to slam the door in his face but my arm refused to move. Before I could even form a sentence, his lips were on mine. It took me off guard and I felt his hands grip my hair and neck. I don't remember the door closing. The next thing I remember is pushing him against the wall, returning his kiss.
Once I pulled away, both of us were breathing hard. He rested his forehead against mine, caressing my face with his fingers. I almost forgot how it felt to get lost in the moment with him. How time would seem to stop and everything around us would fade. God how I missed that.
I felt his other hand move towards the towel at my waist but I held his wrist tight, stopping him. I know he senses my arousal but I will not let him dictate the pace.
My mind is screaming at me, telling me to have him leave and never show his face around me ever again. My heart on the other hand, is aching for him. The wall around it is slowly crumbling, I feel so vulnerable and exposed. Damn him for making me feel this way again.
"I can't Kota...please I just can't."
He looks at me with those mischeivous eyes of his and let's a smirk pull at the corner of his mouth. I feel the feathery touch of his fingers, tracing my lips which makes me shiver. It takes all of my strength to push him away.
"Please leave. Now!"
A look of hurt flashes in his eyes and he looks away. He slowly makes it to the door but before he leaves, he puts his hand on my bare chest again.
"Remember Kenny, you came to me not the other way around."
With those words echoing in the silence, I barely hear the door open and close. I'm not sure how long I stood there in the deafening silence. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek.
"God damn you!"
I punched the wall as hard as I could, wanting to scream all my pain away. I knew my hand would swell and hurt like hell later but in that moment, I didn't care. I wanted something to get my mind off of my heart ripping in half all over again.