"Life is weird. It's cruel, mostly painful and seems at times, to be specifically set against you.
So why value it?
If there's an afterlife why go through the formality of the actual life? Any higher purpose? What'ya you think Sonic? Uh...Sonic? Hello philosophical conversation here." A warm but calculating voice was talking.
The hedgehog stirred a little and opened his eyes.
"Oh yeah. Life. Never could get the hang of it." He yawned a bit.
"I swear you're about as interesting as sock lint sometimes." The voice said a little disappointed.
Sonic's eyes adjusted to who was talking. Tails as usual. A philosophical teenager. Great that's a blast in a gray afternoon.
"Maybe I'll be a better talker, if you come up with a subject that's vaguely interesting. Like convincing me that just lying here, even though there's no sun is pointless, and we should do something. Right now."
"Vaguely interesting? The entire world wonders about this stuff, and you just want to keep moving? C'mon what are your views? God? Nature? The reason why everything seems to be stacked against you?" The fox flailed his paws a bit.
"World's not stacked against me, it just can't keep up." Sonic pulled himself up and laid a gloved hand on the kitsune's shoulder. "And most importantly. SHUT YOUR YAP. No wonder you have no love life."
"Are you trying to embarrass me out of talking again?" Tails sat down next to him. "Because it's not working."
"Look, I really don't care about whatever metaphysical crap you bring up. It's just kinda pointless. Why are ya so interested in this stuff anyway?"
"You wouldn't get it." Tails looked away for a second.
Sonic sighed and sat back down.
"Let me guess, you're feeling useless aren't you?"
"How...?" The fox's jaw nearly dropped.
"Not so hard to figure that one out, too cliche. Now let's get going somewhere before my brain implodes in on itself."
"You know I'd appreciate some comfort." Tails' shoulders dropped.
"Fine, you're not useless, blah blah blah, good friend, blah blah blah, oh and let's not forget the fact you're a two-tailed flying mechanical genius." The hedgehog smirked.
"Oh yeah. That's touching. I'm going to go cry my eyes out now, why oh why did I ever think I was filler?" Tails rolled his eyes. "Look, I know you could go on for hours about all the stuff that I can do right, but...well think about it. How many times have we saved some nameless island?"
"A lot."
"Right. And how much credit did I get for it?"
"Since when did you start saving people for the glory?" Sonic raised an eyebrow.
"Don't peg me with that heroic 'do it cause it's the right thing' speech. You certainly don't complain as long as you get free food, ticker tape parades, and cash thrown at you."
"Alright, so I'm not perfect. Everyone's gotta have some sorta job right? What'ya think? I'd get a job at the local Beef Baron? If I'm good at saving stuff, it's not my fault."
"Humble." Tails smiled. "So let's get back to the point. Someone mentions Sonic, they think, 'world saving hero'. Someone mentions me, they think, 'annoying freak that tags along'."
"I thought you like being the annoying freak that tags along."
"It...gets...old!" Tails flopped down directly onto the ground. "I'm filler, cannon fodder, the guy that just makes doltbrained observations and gives totally obvious advice. I'm getting really sick of it, when's my turn to fight?"
"Whenever you're in a giant mecha shooting lasers, like usual."
"That's not really the point here..."
"Not your turn to play hero by yourself just yet." Sonic's face grew a tad serious. "You'll get yourself killed."
"And there we go. Why? Am I weak?"
"Uh, no it's just...uh...well...look, it's not as easy as you think it is. You wanna put your life on the line?"
"Why not?" Tails shrugged.
"You're supposed to say no." Sonic sweatdropped. "And it's just sorta obvious you're not ready."
"Really? How so?"
"Because...because...you're...well you're Tails. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be surprised if you did become famous or something, soon enough, but not now. I need a sidekick."
"At least give me a chance to prove myself." Tails looked up at him.
"Oh no, don't even try it..."
"C'mon Sonic, you're my best bud, right?"
"This whole 'cute patheticness' act has got to stop. Fine. You go solo for one day. There I'll consider this my day off."
"O...kay. So what now?" Tails got up.
"I dunno. Go to the city, stop a couple bad guys, something's going wrong in the world, always is." Sonic got up also. "See ya, I'm going in for a late lunch." The hedgehog vanished at top speed leaving a furious wind behind, enough to lift the fox's tails up a bit.
Right, something's always going wrong. Tails lifted himself into the air a bit. I'll just have to find out what.
Thieves.
Too many of 'em nowadays. Stealing this, that, and anything else within a three mile radius.
It just so happened this one was a talking cat.
And we all know how much the world suffers from a lack of talking cats.
It's not that this one was particularly different. White fur, gray tipped tail...the only odd thing was a red bubba hat on his head.
He wasn't a very good thief either. Not to say he was bumbling, far from it, but he didn't know what in the world to actually steal. Ah well, an electronics store isn't a terrible place to start out.
No one he had met within the last 3 years had actually called him anything besides thief, idiot, and bastard...well except for Michael...if they did, they would of called him Brent.
He liked his name.
Not exactly rhythmic, a tad out of the ordinary, but when you're named something, you grow attached to it.
He knew he was supposed to be strong, or at the very least a decent fighter but unfortunately for him, he was just...okay. 3 years spent learning techniques, avoiding the Ta'Ka, and looking for somebody...
He had got the techs down decently. Getting a Ka Staff to swing in weird ways wasn't all that hard. The Ta'Ka always seemed to know exactly where he was though, which was extremely freaky, and the person he was looking for? Well, forget that.
He just wasn't as strong as he thought he'd be. Sure sometimes he'd be walking down the street and everyone else would just seem so weak. But he knew he was one of them. So much for genetic enhancement being the wave of the future. After all it was all just---
Did someone just say halt?
They literally said halt!
And that's where he lost it.
"Alright, let's see if you can laugh after..." Tails looked on at the scene in front of him. "After I..."
The cat continued to laugh at the top of his lungs nearly collapsing to the floor.
"C'mon you actually said 'halt'." He managed to choke out in between.
"Never mind what I said, you gonna fight back or what?" Tails took a step forward.
"Fine, oh great defender of justice." The cat managed to teeter himself back up, grabbing his hat from off the floor and dusting it off. "Go ahead."
"You're just gonna stand there?" Tails raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, yeah. You're not gonna come after me?" The cat backed up a bit.
"I'm new at this!" They both yelled at each other.
Tails slapped his forehead. "Look, just try to escape, or something..."
"Fine." The cat dropped the laptop he was carrying to the floor and closed his eyes.
"That's not what I---whoa." Tails jerked back in amazement as a blue sphere grew out of nowhere.
"So, goodbye." The cat opened his eyes and laughed walking towards the sphere.
In one quick movement, Tails dived towards the feline, his feet going through the blue ball as he landed. His paw quickly jetted up.
The cat leaned back in time to narrowly miss it from contacting with his nose.
"I don't really do hand to hand." He smiled a little nervously backing up from the fox.
Behind them the sphere began to shrink.
"Too bad." Tails smiled darkly as he walked towards the thief.
"One thing I can do, is this." The cat unhooked something from a hilt on his hip and held out a blue staff in a threatening manner.
"That's a metal pole." Tails looked it over.
"Ka Staff." The cat said simply. "You my little two tailed friend are looking at a genuine Ka Master."
"So you're one of those guys that use a cheap version of kendo?"
"Well...uh...no! Not technically. But I can still bash your head in." The cat swung the staff immediately to his right.
"Oh come---erghh!" Tails was knocked back by a sudden impact on his left.
"Pretty cool huh?" The cat stepped towards the shrinking sphere and it enlarged. "I'll be leaving now."
"And...no you won't." Sonic zoomed in blocking him from the sphere.
"Hey, what happened to 'going solo'?" Tails got up and looked over at him angrily.
"Told ya you weren't ready yet." Sonic shurgged and turned to face the cat. "Well? How would you like to pummeled today?"
"Ha! As a Ka Master I have full authority..."
"To be destoryed by a hedgehog." Sonic folded his arms.
"So you were watching, huh? Don't trust me as far as you can throw me I guess." Tails mumbled.
"Look, in all honesty, I knew you were gonna blow it." Sonic looked over at the fox.
"So..." The cat stood there. "About that whole pummeling thing..."
"Oh great. There it is. I am weak huh?"
"No, you're a great sidekick." Sonic backed up a bit.
"Aha! There's my point!" Tails advanced. "I'M REALLY SICK OF IT!"
Sonic turned around to the cat again. "Still here? Why haven't you escaped yet?"
The cat shrugged. "I dunno."
"You're a theif. When an argument like this happens you're supposed to escape."
"What...why?"
"Because than I can get on to the chase scene!" Sonic yelled so loudly at the cat, he nearly fell forwards.
"Oh sure get on with your precious 'chase scene'. I guess I'll just come up with some Deus Ex Machina
invention in case you get in trouble." Tails stuck his tongue out.
"Would you quit whining already?" Sonic turned around once more. "You want me to say it? Fine I'll say it. You're weak. Happy? Good. Now shut up and let me finish." He turned back to the cat. "And will you please escape already!"
"That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. If you threatened eariler to kill me, why are you begging me to run?" The cat wondered in confusion.
"BECAUSE THAN I CAN OUTRUN YOU!"
"But than why threaten to..."
"Oh so now the truth comes out, weak huh?"
Normally when a talking cat robs an electronic store, the police are called. They were currently waiting outside the door demanding the perpitrator come out with both arms up.
And so far everyone in the store was oblivious, what with a fight between a beloved hero, his sidekick and a thief going on.
"What about this guy huh?" Tails motioned a paw towards the cat. "He's gotta staff and techniques and crap like that."
"He's a thief." Sonic reeled back.
"Only because I'm bored." The cat mumbled.
"Besides fancy kendo rip-offs are not your thing." Sonic continued ignoring the cat.
"So I can't do it 'eh? You're saying I can't do it? Eh? Eh?"
"Would you stop with the "eh"s? They're not making you any tougher."
"Fine. Uh...you...talking cat thief...person..." Tails faced the cat.
"Brent Crayshen." The cat responded.
"Oh, um...Miles Prower..." Tails cleared his throat. "Tails, please."
"What's with the personality switch?"
"Apparently my friend here dosen't think I can learn any of that fancy staff crap. Think I could?"
"I can't teach it. There are laws."
"And half of them you're breaking right now." Sonic sweatdropped.
"Sorry Ta'Ka's orders. You'd have to go straight to the Acadmey."
"Acadmey? What is this a cheap Harry Potter knockoff?" Sonic raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe I want to go." Tails folded his arms.
"Can't. You'd have to be apprenticed to an offical Ka...Master..." Brent stopped.
This could be it. An excuse to finally go back. No more minimum salary paychecks from the Ta'Ka, a chance to finally talk to everyone again, and best of all if he had an apprentice than maybe it...it could sort of be an apology to Mike...a symbolic apology sure, but it works. Why not? He didn't have anything left to lose.
"Alright, I accept." Brent said smugly.
"Accept what?" Sonic asked in a deadpan voice. "He's not going."
"C'mon Sonic, just check it out, pleaase big bro?" Tails looked up at him again.
"Oh sure, now you use the cuteness act after you snap at me...fine, just stop looking at me like that. I'll check it out. Where is it?"
The sphere behind them disappeared being replaced by a new growing one.
"Ever here of a bauble? Instantaneous transport...cool isn't it?" Brent looked over at the blue sphere.
"Right, and how is this done?" Tails asked.
"Um, some extremely scientific way that I don't know about..." Brent sweatdropped. "But who cares? Just get in."
"How did we go from stopping you, to going with you on a tour of a school?" Sonic asked stepping towards the bauble. "Isn't that a little rushed?"
"Oh shut up." Brent mumbled.
They stepped in.
And than it emerged.
----------------------------
Retrospective
-----------------------------
Ah, the almighty avatar. It's you only you're incredibly strong, you know exactly what to do in any dangerous situation , and you're charming to boot.
When I first wrote this thing, that's more or less how Crayshen came off. Then (thanks to a weird year at school) I found cliches work best when they're mocked.
This isn't a parody fic. It wasn't meant to be. The first chapter might be but trust me, I've got an overused bare bones plot involving genetic engineering and evil foxes named Karastil and a sexy cat girl in red armor. (Think what happens when you mix Breath of Fire 2 and Arcana)
I went over this stupid thing 30 times revising what terrible cliches I had, or making fun of them, or actually advancing the plot.
Believe it or not, I just wrote this first chapter today.
I've been working on the rest of it since last year.
Sometimes, things just pop out like that.
Be warned the rest of this is 98 fanchar crap and than no more Sonic, just Tails. I'm still proud of the characters I made, because I didn't make them, they made themselves out of necessity. (I'll explain later)
For nearly a year I refused to post this, "It's too cliche...I can't keep her name Sora, the Digimon and KH freaks'll kill me!...Arghh! I don't even understand the plot. How are they gonna?"
So in a fit of optimism I'm posting.
Don't get too excited about the next chapter, it's almost 100 dialouge.
Oh, and one last thing, say what you will, wave the manuals in front of my face, show me his kiddy personality I don't care, but I REFUSE TO BELIEVE TAILS IS 8! (He's 13 here. Makes more sense.)