My sweet sister,
I do hope your journey was a pleasant one and you are home with Raoul safe and sound. Erik and I both send him our best regards. We both hope you are in a good health and are waiting for your reply eagerly. We are so very happy you spent our wedding day with us and were here to celebrate with us. The day I have spent with you, Erik and the Daroga was the happiest day of my life and I am so looking forward to the times I am going to spend with my newlywed husband.
Don Juan Triumphant
Speaking of him, he is like a nervous schoolboy nowadays. He is so sweet when we are just the two of us. He blushes all the time, and I do believe he can't believe he has a wife and he is yet under the effect of some kind of shock. He is extremely caring and sweet to me, they "I- kiss-the-ground-you-walk-on" kind of caring, and I often catch him looking at me while I just walk around him or play the piano, and I see so much adoration in his eyes I could cry sometimes. I know it is a bit of sad and sweet at the same time, and that it might creep you out, but I enjoy it mostly. He says often that I am the most sublime of ladies and I am his precious little girl.
After the wedding though, I think I wasn't too much ladylike (I am not even too much ladylike anyway, but well), and I had a bit too much wine to drink when we arrived home and Erik again celebrated with one of his most prized wines. I did not quite want to disappoint him by the denial of the wine as I had a glassful at the dinner as well, and I am not used to alcohol, so I had two more glasses with him, but I guess I shouldn't have had so much. The strange thing was he wasn't angry with me because I talked so much nonsense to him and giggled all evening, he was laughing as well. Well, this is why I wasn't in too good shape and looked tired when we said goodbye the next morning. Hope you can forgive me for it. I am a bit of afraid Erik is going to make me get used to wine. I am not sure though if it is a good or bad thing.
Good thing.
Next Monday we are going to leave for our honeymoon and Erik is taking me to Salzburg! I am so much excited for it as I am both happy for the long journey we are going to take together, and I am absolutely excited to finally see Mozart's birthplace in person. Have you been to Salzburg yet? The journey there is going to be so exciting, long and I am not only going to see things from a train window or even worse, from a car window at 200m/h. You see, Christine, in my time we mostly travel by car or planes if it is long-distance, I have never sat on a plane before, but I am sure going by a brougham and sometimes on train is much more romantic, and I am going to ask Erik to go as slow as possible.
Oh Heavens. That is going to be tiring.
I can't wait. Of course, I am going to write to you as much as possible and I would like if you wrote me as much as you can.
Well, this is all for now, I think. Please take good care of yourself and remember I love you my sister.
Hope to see you soon and until next time I remain your loving sister,
Juti
When I was going to fold the letter to be sent out, I noticed Erik's little side note remarks and crossed out words I wanted to rewrite the whole thing, but it won't solve anything.
- Why are you censoring my letters? – I turned to him.
- I beg for your forgiveness. – He gasped then lowered his head like he was hit. – Erik did not like the fact Juti sent his regards to Raoul without his agreement and that she was calling him a nervous schoolboy.
- Don Juan Triumphant is still a bit of an exaggeration as you still did not touch me that way. – I teased.
- Once… I will. – He stuttered nervously.
I nodded and left the subject at that as I did not want to make Erik feel uncomfortable about this issue as he did before. Hurrying things will only make him panic. It is a huge enough step he sleeps with me in the Louis- Philippe sleigh bed every night since the wedding we saved here in the new house as well. I often wake up with my head on his chest and him hugging my head and his palm resting on my hair.
- I just ask you not to censor my letters any more. Deal?
- Deal. – He nodded – If you don't read my journal again.
- I won't, I promise. – I giggled.
- Good. – He nodded, then sighed a bit in relief, seeing he did not do anything to anger me too much. I decided I was going to send that letter out as it was, I thought Christine will laugh at it anyway.
- Why did you say I should get used to wine? – I remarked.
- Because you are too much of a saint. You don't drink, you don't smoke, you had no affairs with men, you are always good, you don't really have any bad habits save from the occasional cussing and I don't wish you to go straight to Heaven from my side, still alive. At least you should drink, so we could drink together. – He chuckled.
- I talk too much nonsense when I am drunk.
- You are never drunk, that one evening did not count as being drunk, you little silly, it was mere tipsiness.
- I am not going to have drinking contests with you. – I shrugged. – You drink me under the table at the fourth round or less and I am not fond of the thought.
- I did not say that, only asked you to be a bit of more open and less afraid of it. It is at least good for inspiration.
- And would be good to ease some inhibitions as well? – I winked at him which he just acknowledged with a shrug.
- Wine is too little for that. – He snorted after a few minutes of silence.
- Sorry for my remark. – I rubbed his shoulder with an apologetic smile.
- You are spending too much time with Erik. – He stated. – Sending sarcastic remarks of everything is his privilege.
- One can never send too much time with someone she loves. – I turned my head towards him to kiss the top of his head, leaning towards him above the chair's backrest.
I can't describe the thankful expression in Erik's eyes after that.
Day by day after the wedding Erik seemed to find his way back to his usual way of acting, seeing nothing really changed about our relationship other than us having a lawful document of us being a couple. We were just as we used to be, and Erik finally stopped to look up at me like I was some kind of a marble artwork he finally owns, and got back to his usual way of acting and speaking to me before the wedding. Though he took up a new, I think cute habit, he started leaving me small kind notes around the house after I did something which was to his liking. They were mostly about my sleeping habits, such as:
"Thank you for hugging me in your sleep" "You called out to me in your dream and I loved it." "You kissed the pillow while sleeping, was it for me?"
But other times he chose to compliment my looks or skills:
"How great you look in that blue dress, wear it more often" "Today's Moonlight Sonata sounded quite like what Beethoven had in his mind" "You maybe don't feel like it, but you are getting better and better with the violin" and "How did you know I liked eggs like that?"
I found them cute, especially he often inserted a smiley on the paper after I explained him of the concept of emojis and that people often communicate sending them in written texts. I was surprised he did not say these out loud rather than scribbling them down on some mostly sheet music paper, but maybe it was a funny reference by him to my earlier sentence where I mentioned people in my time were even texting each other from the other room rather than talking to each other out loud.
Talking out loud was, as usual, his weak spot still. I realized in these days he talked even less to me than during the days we used to spend at the House by the Lake, he mostly did not speak, and to questions, he would rather nod or shake his head than telling me something.
The night before we were about to leave for our honeymoon I decided I will finally make him talk.
- Why so silent, Good Monsieur? – I sang, while I crossed the room to arrive in front of his chair.
- Why should I be not? – He asked.
- You never ever talk. – I teased.
- You talk enough for both of us, there is no need for me to talk. – He retorted with a chuckle. – Anyway, you know I don't really like to speak unless you provoke it out. I am going to say something when I will have something important to tell.
- I'd appreciate if you felt you had to tell me something important more often. – I admitted. – The thing you say doesn't always have to be useful.
- I do not like to uselessly prate.
- Like me? – I giggled.
- Sometimes. – He agreed. – But I have gotten used to it during the months.
- Does it bother you?
- If it bothered me, would I have married you? – He chuckled.
- Maybe not. – I smiled.
- Absolutely not. I would never marry someone who annoys me. – He smiled and leaned closer to kiss me. – I just hope you do not find Erik annoying. It is not that I don't want to talk to you, I just… you know I just mostly don't know what to say.
- You can tell me so interesting things when you are in the mood. And you are never annoying to me. – I hugged him.
- I am happy. – He sighed in relief. – Maybe it sounds foolish to you but sometimes I am still worried all of this was just a sweet dream I am having right now and one day I will wake up all alone in the cellars.
- You will never ever wake up alone, Erik sweetie and no more cellars for you. You are going to lead a life like everyone else with a living wife by your side until death shall part. – I confessed my deepest feelings to him.
- Do you promise? – He took my hand longingly. – Do you promise Erik it will be like this?
- I do. – I nodded seriously, placing a kiss on his forehead.
- Whatever happens? – He pulled me closer, looking around insecurely.
- Through thick and thin as true love will always win.
- You talk like a love poet. – Erik laughed out. – Yet… I believe you. Well… I promise I am trying my best to talk more if it is what you desire.
- I wish to hear your voice more. Such a sweet voice you have and I wish to hear it as much as possible.
- I am talking much more since I know you, do you know? – He winked.
- Were you sitting around in complete silence, my dear?
- Who should I have talked to? Of course, I talked to myself sometimes but it wasn't my first priority. It is good you are so talkative, you force me to answer you, and so I am not sitting around in silence any more.
- I have an idea. – I pointed at him.
- What is it? – He got a bit of curious it seemed like.
- Let's know each other better. I ask you something and you answer. And after we change roles. And you tell the truth.
- Good. – He nodded. – We are married now we need to clear things up. But I ask you not to ask too much questions about my life earlier than my Parisian years. And I have the right to refuse to answer. Deal?
- Deal, but if you answer, try not to give only one- word answers, dear.
- I will try my best. – He nodded. – Firstly?
- Do you honestly not like cats? – I started by a more innocent kind of question, just to tune up.
- I am not saying I dislike them, I am just saying I am more of a dog or horse person. But I like all kinds of animals, I just like to be grumpy, and I mostly take it out on Wolfy, while I got used to him and started to like him a lot. – He admitted.
- And what about children? – I tested the waters.
- I am yet undecided about this subject. – He shrugged. – Children are mostly too noisy and messy and dull for my taste.
- What if I got pregnant? – I asked.
- You will not. – He shook his head firmly.
- So this is why you do not touch me like a husband touches his wife? – I inquired.
- Not exactly, no. – He swallowed, starting to feel uncomfortable. – It is just I don't feel ready for the… role yet.
- So you really plan to?
- I do. – He nodded, then unbuttoned his shirt collar, suddenly feeling too hot.
- But if it is so, you will have to be prepared of being a father. – I grinned.
- Erik is going to… take great care NOT to. – He stated with determination.
- It is really not a possibility to have a child with you?
- No. – He shook his head. – Absolutely never. I am not going to risk passing the deformity. Rather I'd play Russian roulette.
- So you are into these kinds of games. – I frowned.
- Saw some. – He nodded.
- Wait, would you get in a duel?
- Only if it was necessary.
- What makes it necessary?
- Adultery. Or if your honor gets in danger.
- So if I cheated on you, you will get the guy in a fight?
- Depends. – He shrugged. – Knowing you, that scenario would only happen if the pest turned violent. – He inhaled sharply- And if it is so, the rat isn't even worthy of a duel in my eyes, as a duel is a matter of honor between two men. – His hands turned into fits- And if he dares to touch my wife I simply shoot him and wait for that bastard to die the slowest and most painful death.
- Oh my. – I swallowed. – So you would kill?
- I would most certainly kill them in a duel as well anyway. – He snorted then laughed out shortly. – I am excellent with shooting and swordfights as well as the Punjab string. They have no chance. So… my turn sweetie. What would you do if I killed someone, huh?
- It depends. – I sighed.
- On what? – He leaned closer.
- If it was an accident or… self-defense or… something else…
- In the latter case what would you do? – He leaned closer, so my face was just an inch away from his. – Would you still keep your promise? Your promise you made Erik just a few minutes earlier, my dear?
- You also promised me you will never kill anyone. – I said. – But… I am really not sure. – I put my hands on his shoulder, then gripped his jacket, being afraid of losing him. – Don't make me make such a decision, ever… please!
- If I can avoid it, you can be sure I won't. – His beautiful voice rang in my ears calmly, but not that coldly as before, he was clearly trying to calm me. He put his hands on my back reassuringly, then started massaging it comfortingly. – Erik is going to be gentle as a lamb, and the best husband you can ask for. He will never get you in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. – He kissed my forehead. – And if it worries you, I promise you our time shall come as well, and other than having a child, Erik is willing to do anything to make his wife happy in any aspects… you will know when I am ready for it, just… I ask for some more time… but please know it is not you the problem, it is me.
- I am not hurrying you. – I smiled and held his hands longingly. – And thank you for being honest and being here with me.
- The honor is mine, sweetie. Having a wife of my own is more than I can wish for. Especially if she is so sweet. – He kissed me then patted my head lovingly. – But now, dear, I advise you to go to bed. You will be very tired if you don't sleep enough before we leave for our journey.
- Erik…
- Yes?
- Are you sure you don't mind taking me to Salzburg? I mean I was maybe selfish, making you have such a long journey in your age…
- Do not call me old. – He put his finger on my lips. – And as I said, I would do anything to make you happy. It is the least to do when you are here to love me. And anyway, I liked to travel in my youth, and I haven't left Paris in the past 20 years for more than one day. It will do me some good. – He pushed my nose playfully, he liked to do so. – Sleep now my dear, Erik is going to join you shortly.
With a wide grin all over my face I left him there, waiting for our journey to start. I was sure I won't sleep too much that night though – I was too much excited.